Keep Boston out of Pawtucket!

It has become increasingly apparant to me that Boston does not give a rat's ass about the Pawtucket Red Sox as a competitive team in their league. I see the visiting franchises and there's such a huge difference in the way their teams are run. These teams, for the most part, want to win.

I don't see that in Pawtucket. What I see is a Petri dish of player and prospect development. I see them focused on guys like Lester and Murphy and screw everyone else on the team. Rodney Nye? Come on! KEN FREAKING HUCKABY? It's filler like this that's got Pawtucket firmly lodged in mediocrity as a few shooting stars take precedence over the team being successful. And winning.

Last night, I saw the Tidewater Tides making great use of their bullpen. And I was jealous. I'd LOVE for them to be my local team.

I love the Pawtucket Red Sox, and as I've said before, it sucks that they're not a team you can root for as a whole (unless you're a child). It's become a place for Boston Red Sox fans to cheaply see marquee players rehabbing or hot hot hot prospects.

I want them to be a good team. I want to know that Ron Johnson does not feel handcuffed by Boston's regimens and guidelines for the players. I want them to be MY home team that I can root for. I want a little love for Jeff Bailey and Marc Deschenes!

Maybe I'll write a letter to the paper. Or Jerry K. This is going to be my ongoing summer bitch topic.


Enrique Wilson

Dude, what the hell is Enrique Wilson doing in Pawtucket?

Okay, we've all heard that Manny got him the slot. But come on. Enrique Wilson occasionally puts a glove on and plays the infield. But you really should see him... he is dogging it worse than Daubach did at the end. And when he's not playing, he's just kind of hanging out. He's barely contributing anything. And I'm sure he himself wonders, where the hell am I and what have I done to deserve this?

Where does he go after the game? Where's his apartment? Where does he get his bling? Does he really think that Boston's going to call him up any time soon?

I'm going to go ask Ron Johnson.

5.30.06: PawSox v. Tidewater Tides - Lima Time!

Tides WIN! 3-2

Pawtucket is offensively offensive. Not one player is batting anywhere near .300... even Choi is just mustering a .252. They just cannot score runs and it's really killing them. They should not have lost this game. The Tides relief was weird and shaky and yet the batters could not take advantage of this. It's sort of pissing me off. Anyway...

I attended all four games of the Louisville Bats visit. Pawtucket split the series and that's all I have to say. I didn't write anything about it because I was suffering from a near-fatal case of ennui and laziness and the games were almost social occasions. I'd gotten used to attending the games by myself, but I think my constant yammering about my adventures at McCoy has sparked some interest in people I know. Nowadays, everytime I turn around someone's saying to me, "Hey, guess where I went last night?"

But enough about me. Dustan "Dustin Moore" Mohr is back in my neighborhood, and you can just about see the tender light of joy in his eyes. More on Mohr later. He batted 4th in the lineup. David Murphy, who is exciting these days, batted second. The remainder of the 9? The usual Pawtucket detritus. Oh, except Pedroia, who's been one of the better Sox. Choi did not play.

Trent Durrington played an uncomfortable third base.

Jimmy Serrano started for Pawtucket. Who the hell is this guy? He's really one of the least interesting pitchers I've seen in Pawtucket for a long time. At least Deschenes has intense, ice-blue eyes. Two runs over six innings, blah blah blah. That Kid From EP pitched a pair and gave up an unearned run. Hertzler. Yay and such.

And now, Lima Time! Jose Lima pitched for Norfolk and I was so excited. He did a great job, admittedly against hapless minor leaguers with noodle bats. And he is still psycho, hollering at his infielders, at the umps... and what is it with him and Dustan Mohr? He walked him three straight times and exchanged words with him. Perhaps an old grudge? But, yeah, Jose Lima! In Pawtucket! And I didn't bring my camera! And I sat right above the visitors dugout! I'm so stupid!

Lima pitched 6 innings, and then Norfolk ran like their entire bullpen out there... it was almost as if they wanted to win. It's a different organizational philosophy, I think. Old Pawtuckian Juan Perez showed up as a LOOGY in the 7th. Juan Perez is a doll and such. Some kid (Mike Adams)who had the loose threads of the former player's name on his jersey pitched like a frightened rook in the 8th and was sort of adorable. He wasn't on the Tides roster so I have no further information. Lefty Royce Ring got the save for Norfolk.

Lastings Milledge did not play, damn it. I did see Tagg Bozied and Chris Basak. And Offerman, who is inexplicably still in O.B. Basak hit a nice triple for himself.

Luke Allen Report: Luke Allen is still injured or something. He sits in the dugout in his weird librarian glasses and looks pudgy. This may be the final Luke Allen report, as he is not terribly interesting.

The P-Sox have split town for a spell, but they'll be back... hey, they're not coming back until June 9th! Oh my god, it's too much pressure!

Rock Bottom Remainders:
1. Lima Time!
2. Friends of visiting players are awful, especially their stupid jockhead buds from back home. I love how they hang over the railing and shout, "BRA! Where we goin' after?!"
3. I sat near some of Lima's crew. I knew something was up because normally you don't see people THAT wealthy at McCoy. They were pretty funny, giving Offerman the business.
4. Some Mets kids sat behind me. College age and rich and sort of awful. One guy was talking about breaking into someone's apartment and he said that if you're stealing a TV, make sure you take the remote, too, because otherwise you can't sell it. That is genius.

i ain't missing you at all

What I'm thinking about this morning... hmm... really, how much I hate Jason Mraz. It's been a long time since an artist has been that abrasive to me, so much so that I almost react physically to the sonic porridge spewing out of that kid's mouth.

It's completely horrible, like some lame local act you have to sit through on a dinner cruise or some shit. He kind of reminds me of the Josh Dodes Band, except you know that Mraz thinks he's got the music in him. Dude, you are not funky. Go away. And take your stupid hat with you.

PawSox stuff coming real soon!



5.23.06: P-Sox v. Louisville Bats - The Cabbage Incident

Pawtucket WINS! 2-1

The Hee-Seop Choi Contingent was STRONG this evening. I'm talking signs and chanting and clapping... "CHE HEE-SEOP! CHE HEE-SEOP!" I don't know if Mr. Choi's close, personal friends were sitting behind us, but by the end of the game, most of Section 1 was chanting along. Hee-Seop, however, chose to ignore us.

It was a typical Pawtucket line-up: Stern leading off, followed by Pedroia, Calloway, and Choi. Machado is still stashed down at the bottom of the order, but I can't imagine that Huckaby's doing much better. Switch-hitting Enrique Wilson played third tonight.

John Lester started for Pawtucket and was not terribly crisp.... 5 innings, 3 K's, 4! walks, 2 hits, 1 earned run.

Tim Bausher was surprisingly good for the 6th and 7th innings, aside from hitting Gutierrez with a pitch. Manny Delcarmen was flakey but ultimately successful in the 8th. Jermaine Van Buren heaved the ball at the catcher in the 9th with great results. Uno, dos, tres!

RHP Joe Mays started for Louisville. Remember him? From the Twins? Aside from the two runs in the first inning, he was decent. Or maybe he was only mediocre. Pawtucket's still not big in the scoring runs department.

Ron I. Calloway, who I was entirely wrong about, drove in Sterno and Pedro in the first inning for what turned out to be the only runs Pawtucket needed. Adam Stern also hit a triple, and YKHIFAT. Pedroia was 3-3 with a walk.

Remember Andy Abad? Earl Snyder? Well, the two of them are aging rapidly and playing in the Cincinatti system! Abad walked. That's it. Earl Snyder walked. That's it. Nice to see you boys again. Ray Olmedo's picture on the jumbo screen is darling. He laughs like Buddha.Chris Denorfia drove in the only run for the Bats.

Luke Allen report: Luke Allen is "on" the "disabled" "list". If Ramiro Mendoza taught me one thing, it's this: the disabled list is crammed with more bullshit than a Texas rodeo.

And now, Idiots:

1. The Pawsox scorecard is altered slightly, to provide helpful pronunciations of the players' names. "Bausher (BOW- as in take a BOW-sure)"
2. I thought I'd be a cool kitty and get the tickets ahead of time and surprise everyone. When I went to see KP, she'd already gotten the tix. And hers were better. I gave mine to a sweet family of four just because I'm keeping it real.
3. I bought beer from Bob C, my former boss at McCoy. I have to give him credit - he managed to keep control of a dozen restless and occasionally difficult kids for an entire summer. He's a good guy.
4. Today I picked up my original commemorative Longest Game poster, which I'd dropped off to be framed. It looks bitchin'. I also went and got bagels from Mr B's in Seekonk. Mr B. occasionally slips me a few extra bagels, so I have to give him a shout-out. Not to mention the bagels are the best around, which is why I drive all the way to Seekonk to get them.

I'll be at the park Thursday and Friday and Saturday! And maybe Sunday! Tomorrow night I'm sending one of my minions.

PineTarHelmet meets Artpad

Rhode Island Red Sox gadabout PineTarHelmet recently posted several of her Red Sox artpad stuff on redsoxnation.net. If these little drawings do not delight you immensely, may God have mercy on your soul. Enjoy.


Seems like old times.

You know, I look back at the games... the summers... and I think, where the fuck was I getting the money to spend on tickets? Like, hello, we'd just head up to the park with twenties crammed into our pockets and buy from scalpers. It's just so funny to me now. And Lucky calling me at work and just saying, "I blacked out... I don't know what happened... I used my emergency MasterCard."

And we always seemed to get pretty good seats! We always found ways. Behind home plate, on the Monster, in Manny's House. It was easier back then, in the BeforeTime, in the Long Long Ago.

Then came Curt Schilling and 2004 and now it's 200 dollars just for Grandstand.

I've been neglecting the PawSox away games but they're back at home now and I'll be at the park.


I'm on my way to Catalina!

I'll miss Abe Alvarez in Pawtucket, but I hope he gets some action with the big team. Damn you, Boston, for the ongoing pilfering of Pawtucket good guys!

Can-Am League baseball starts in a few days! I seem to remember them using aluminum bats. I hope they rethink that soon.

5.17.06:PAW @ BUF - Eh.

Buffalo WINS! 3-2

And I'm asking myself... why am I bothering to write about a 2 day old game? And I answer myself... compulsion.

Jon Lester, who I allege is leaving soon, started the game and gave up 2 runs in 5 2/3 innings. Note: 5.2 is not the same thing as 5 2/3. I don't know why such an innocent baseball notation should bother me, but it does.

Pawtucket tied the game in the 8th, but Craig Breslow allowed Buffalo to score a run which went unanswered by Pawtucket in the 9th. So he gets the loss.

Bisons starter Jeremy "Arlo" Guthrie held Pawtucket scoreless through 5. Very nice.

Luke Allen report: Luke Allen doubled and GIDP. I'm sort of sick of Luke Allen. He looks like a blondie Kewpie doll.

I hate away games.

Before I go, I'd like to congratulate Danielle from America's Next Top Model for being the winner. I do so look forward to her many runway shows and fashion spreads and cosmetics contracts... sorry, can't keep a straight face. But, seriously, sweet kid. At least the heinous Jade didn't run away with it.


5.16.06:Pawtucket Red Soxes @ Buff Bisonses! - Good riddance, Merloni.

Bisons WIN! 6-2

This article covering the game is gushingly giddy and sort of adorable. Kind of like me. And actually, I am going to leave it at that.

Carl Crawford just tripled for the Devil Rays, and I hope they stomp the piss out of Chicago. Carl Crawford is great. Don't you like rooting for him? I know I do.

I like baseball.

PS... That's Ozzie Guillen with the casually splayed legs. Typical baseball player.

Tippicanoe and Minges, too.

Okay, I found Tyler Minges. He was "transferred" to Portland (AA).

And, this one time? On the Springfield Cardinals? Minges was being interviewed and asked the interviewer for a date... on the air. He was brutally rebuffed, but insisted that he was just playin'. Oh, man, I love that. I love asking people out and when I get turned down, I say, "Psssht... I was just playin'!"

Work it, Burkett!

I must confess: I was a Burkett fan. Sure, he was a ball-scuffing geezer by the time he got to Boston, but I thought he was a cool kitty. And... okay, I thought he was hot. Not much of a starting pitcher, but I dug him.

We all pretty much assumed Billy Bob Burkett would be bowling after he retired, and we assumed correctly. I think it's a perfect fit for him.


Hot, naked Warwick.

I thought I'd enter the All-Star game sweepstakes because I would love to go to the park in Pittsburgh. But it looks like it's sponsored by supervillain Gillette so I ain't touching that. I do think that sometime this summer I'll try 'n get out there.

I have to drive to the Warwick UPS to get a pkg and it might as well be Siberia. I'm just happy my computer's working again.

Still hate: Tom Caron
Still love: Mike Lowell

what started out as friendship has grown stronger

Craig Hansen's start was a one-shot. I was critical for no reason. He just needed to get some innings in after three straight rain-outs.


5.15.06: PAW v. S/W-B RB's - Game Two!

Pawtucket WINS! 4-0

Game two was definitely the better half. Game one could quite possibly have been the dullest game ever recorded, a let's-just-get-this-in affair. Sorry, Jimmy Serrano.

Craig Hansen started this one. I do not understand this move one bit. Does he even have a starter's repertoire? Last I knew, he didn't. That being said, he did well... 4 innings, no walks, 4 K's, 5 hits, no runs. Also, Craig Hansen isn't exactly an oil painting, but he looks a lot better in person. He got a lot of love from his teammates and RJ. And you know what? I love Ron Johnson. I wish Ron Johnson was my friend in real life. I'm going to meet him soon.

Breslow pitched the 5th and 6th and did very well. Manny Delcarmen put a cap on the night. He got his hair braided and he looks very handsome. I like Delcarmen and I'd like to see him succeed, if not for the Red Sox then for another major league team.

Big Jim Crowell started for the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons. Christ, that is one unwieldy team name. He gave up half the runs. Then Dan Giese, a legitimate prospect, came in and gave up the other two.

Hee-Seop Choi tripled in the first, and you know how I feel about triples. Okay, they're not always better than HR's. In the 2nd, Machado stretched a single into a double on an error, and Enrique Wilson ran all the way home from first. I was not alone in finding that hilarious. Just the fact that Enrique Wilson is playing in Pawtucket is reason enough to get the giggles.

Did you know that McCoy Stadium also has a Green Monster? Yep, except it's 1/10 the size and occupies the space behind home plate. Catcher Ken "Jeter Smasher"Huckaby crept up the wall Torii Hunter-style to catch a pop-up in the 2nd and it delighted his teammates.

Luke Allen report: Luke Allen did not play in Game 2, but instead sat on the bench and moped for the entire 7 innings.

John Lester made a brief appearance in the stands. Don't know what that was about. He took a few notes then split. Also, has anyone seen Tyler Minges? Did he die? Why don't I know this?

And that's it! Pawtucket has left the building for a week-long road trip. I'll try and keep everyone posted.

5.15.06: Pawtucket v. S/WB Red Barons - Game One

Pawtucket WINS 3-2

Double header!

I cannot tell a lie. I missed the first 2 innings of this game because I didn't think they'd be playing. But then I heard the broadcast and hied myself to McCoy. Two innings in and there was still parking available. No one was at the park! WOW!

David Riske started for Pawtucket and pitched probably 2 innings, giving up 2 runs. I truly wish I could tell you who started for Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, but they rather stupidly neglected to put uniform numbers next to the players on the scorecard. So number 32, who could be Travis Minix, started. Unless it was Clay Condrey. (Pawtucket has the best scorecards around. Yes, you have to pay a dollar for them, but they're printed on non-slick paper and are formatted simply but not sparsely.)

Offensively, Pawtucket got their act together in the 6th, making Ryan Cameron look like a bird flu victim. Stern, Calloway, and Choi all hit doubles! Hee-Seop Choi is great. He always looks strong and happy. If he's still in Pawtucket come autograph night, I'm gonna bite the bullet and have him sign my PawSox lunchbox. And I HATE getting autographs.

I look at the S/W-B roster and I think, who are these people? Is this the Phillies farm system? Whoa. Coming into last night they were first in the IL. I can't imagine how. One player stood out for me: Joe Thurston, infielder. He's the kind of balls-out player who will run from second to the outfield wall to back up a play or knock down the outfielder to catch a fly. You know, the aggro guy all the other players hate. But, yeah, he hit a double. Joe Thurston, nice to meet you.

Jimmy Serrano took over for Riske in the third and the Red Barons didn't score off him. Jermaine Van Buren was interesting in the ninth. I don't know anything about anything, but you look at Van Buren's form and how he just hucks the ball in there... his arm is going to fly out of the socket. Plus he's physically Sabathia-esque. I don't get it.

Luke Allen report: Luke Allen sucked. Luke Allen swings at everything. I would say he was visibly chagrined by his poor performance, but I think he has that perpetual look of disquiet and poutiness. Like Maxwell Caulfield or something.

There was some kind of flaky play at first where Pedroia was called safe but the sitch was hotly contested by various Red Barons. Enraged players look like they're pantomiming fury when you can't hear them, what with the pointing and huffing and stamping... it looks exaggerated and theatrical. The coolest thing I ever saw was former manager Buddy Bailey getting down on the ground and methodically covering home plate with infield dirt, sweeping it atop the dish in a neat yet disrespectful pile.

Onto Game Two!

5.13.06: Oakland A's @ Yankees - Wow, there sure are a lot of Yankees fans here.

Saturday I got up disorientingly early and drove to Stamford, CT (which, sadly, looks like it's either deteriorating or failing at being a destination city) so I could go to Yankee Stadium for an A's game.

I thought I was all over hating the Yankees. I think I thought wrong. I think I thought I saw you try. I almost projectile vomited when what's-his-name hit a three run homer in the first inning.

Since we got to there so very early, we decided to get the hell away from the park and find somewhere to eat, completely forgetting that it was still a time where people are eating scrambled eggs and such. Fortunately, I ell-oh-vee-ee breakfast and was pleased with my modest omelette and home fries. Hash browns are for whores.

Our seats were decent and loge-style. The park was not full. Which is funny because when I tried to buy tix for that game through the Yankees, it was sold out. You cannot tell me that 3,000 people changed their minds and decided not to go. Or can you? Anyway, I'll say this for the people in my general area: mellow. Yankees fans seem to be more Just Folks than Boston fans. People like me.

Oakland lost, in spite of coming very close to tying it in the 9th. Tanyon Sturtze sucked 5 kinds of ass and was deservedly booed. Barry Zito, who did not start, was in full view before the game, prancing around in his baseball capris and signing autographs. Oh You Kid.

And Eric Chavez, who DH'd, was a flailing mess. He was...gosh, what's the word?... whifftastic! Yeah! It's not too much of an exaggeration to say that he cost them the game. Oooh, burn!

I have a few pictures but I don't feel like messing with that, son. I had a great time and I hope you did, too.


Tonight's game was rained out.

I'm going to Yankee Stadium tomorrow to see the A's. I'm so excited... but I really wanted to see the PawSox tonight.


KP's story.

I truly love KP. She's such a great friend and a success at love and humanity. She's also one of the grittiest and most dedicated players on our team.

Anyhoo, I ran into KP after the game today and she informed me that she, too had been at the park. Damn it! It never would have crossed my mind that she'd have been there. There we were, each of us sitting by ourselves at opposite ends of the park.

She told me a hilarious story.. it seems an infielder was blowing her kisses during the game and then later approached her and asked if she'd driven to the park. He told her to meet him at a specific place in the park after the game and she agreed to do it... except she didn't. KP has a boyfriend. She slipped out after the game and did not hook up with cutie-pie.

She was pretty surprised by the whole thing even though she was admittedly encouraging it. In her words, "I KNOW he must have seen me shoving fries into my mouth..."

This is the second player in Pawtucket that's tried macking on KP. The first one was last year during the Hot Stove party... the guy was signing autographs at the time. He's now in the majors and doing very well.


6.11.06: Pawtucket Red Sox v. Syracuse Sky Chiefs - Tewks!

This game was awesome for so many reasons.

Firstly, Pawtucket WINS 8-4, proving once again that I know absolutely nothing. You see, once I caught wind that the Sky Chiefs starter was a hulking blonde lefty (David Purcey) I was sure they'd never be able to scratch out any runs against him. Ha.

Jon "Short Time" Lester got the start for Pawtucket and went five innings, 6 K's, no walks, 6 hits and 2 runs. He was relieved by Breslow (3 innings, 2 K's, no walks, 2 hits, NO RUNS). Jermaine Van Buren pitched the ninth and looked horseshit. C'est la merde! Syracuse got 2 runs off him but, hell, we won anyway so JVB's off the hook.

The aforementioned Purcey couldn't get out of the third inning. I don't know this guy's story but he pitches like he's a first-timer at Arthur Murray's School of Dance. He was all, "One and stretch and two and coil and arm up and release and four". So Tallet comes in and he's that freaky sideburnsy guy I saw pitch in Toronto about two weeks ago. Remember? Remy was wondering if he was into Civil War re-enactments. Yes, Tallet. Gave up a run.

But the best part of the Syracuse bullpen was Ben Weber. I was so excited when I saw him. I was really hoping I'd get to see him pitch and I did. He doesn't throw very hard these days, but as all aging relievers do, he got wiley. Just changing speeds and location and still very effective and still very ugly. Excellent vein-popping relief pitcher face. You should just see him... he's awesome. I love you, BW.

Offense: I am no longer Jeff Bailey's Jinx. First at-bat: yard. Second at-bat: yarder.

RodNye also went yard and made another neat-o play at third. Eternally darling A. Machado tripled in the 8th but didn't get batted in. Triples rule. Triples are cooler than home runs.

Ken Huckaby stole a base. No, seriously.

Former Pawtucket Good Guy Luis Figueroa doubled in the 9th off a very sloppy Van Buren. No real offensive standouts, but Ben Weber!

Clean-up, MRR style:
1. As I mentioned in my previous post, some interesting McCoy attendees. Abe Alvarez was charting pitches tonight and again I wonder, do they get a little extra $$ for doing this? It looks totally boring and tedious. Or is it some form of punishment?
2. Mike Bumatay's license plate says "4BOOMRS", which is so cheesy I could ralph.
3. The between-innings music coordinator played a Buzzcocks song. The Buzzcocks and My Bloody Valentine at a baseball game. I must write this person a thank you letter.
4. I think I almost caught a glimpse of some gruel-thin sunshine. I tried calling the sun today, but all I got was the machine.
5. Jerry Kapstein was in the house. I'm telling you, something is going down.
8. The Sky Chiefs jackets are FLY. I am going to try and buy one off of a marginal player. God knows these kids need cash. You HAVE to see their jackets.

I'll be at the game tomorrow night where I usually sit.

Lester to be traded soon?

Oh, what a tease. But that's what I think. If I'm right, how genius am I?

All I'm saying is that McCoy was CRAWLING with scouts today... J-Kap was in the house, too. Quite a clutter of video cams and radar guns and legal pads and portfolios and tanorexic baseball guys.

Oh, and Tewks. Bob Tewksbury was there looking way more relaxed and cool than he ever did on NESN. I guess the camera also adds ten pounds of dork.


5.10.06: Pawtucket v. Syracuse Sky Chiefs: Quan's Kitchen

Syracuse WINS 5-2

Vinnie Chulk was kicked downstairs by Toronto but apparantly is good enough to win in AAA. Good for him.

I wangled a day off from my boss (that would be Force) so I could attend tomorrow's day game. Ah, a Thursday day game and I'm attending! Lucky for me, it'll be more of the same wet dreary weather we've been blessed with all this week! And guess what? It'll be raining in NYC on Saturday, which is my Big Very Special Visit to Yankee Stadium. God hates baseball.

I'll be at McCoy Friday night, too, coughing wetly into my trembling, anemic fists.


Aaron Small: The Chin That Ate Gotham.

I mean, seriously.

5.8.06: PAW @ Rochester Red Wings:" I desire... macaroni pictures."

Rochester WINS 9-4

Marc Deschenes renounces his loveliness and gives up 9 runs in 4. Hey, you can't be funny all the damn time!

Finicky, finessey Henry Bonilla gets the win for the Red Wings, but probably would not have if Marky D. hadn't blown it all over the place (4 runs through 5). Come to think of it, this year's PawSox have not exactly been a runs-producing team, so they probably would have lost anyway. I'm just sayin'. Bonilla has the distinction of being the guy who pitched the opening day game at McCoy. I wish I could remember more about him... oh, just read this.

Not much Pawtucket offense (surprise)... Enrique Wilson had a couple of hits. Nye and Wilson with their 4 RBI comprised the runs scored. I like R. Nye. To my admittedly unschooled eye, he looks like a good fielder.

Luke Allen report: Luke Allen grounded into a double play.

And what did I tell you about Rochester SS Jason Bartlett? This koo-koo kid was 4-4!

Tonight's game was rained out and I'm getting all anxious because I don't know if I'm going to be able to go to any games aside from Friday and it's going to be raining all week and I'm FIENDING! Tomorrow'll be a double header and I have to work, obviously. Nuts.


maybe wheeze

I'm not going to do game summaries for the past 3 or 4 games. That's all there is. It's a lot of work for very little payoff and yeah, I'm being lazy. I'm hayfevery and I had a VERY BAD DAY AT WORK and I ate biscuits for supper last night.

So in lieu of keeping track of Pawtucket while they're on the road, I'm going to make a list.


1. Nomar, when Ted Williams died.
2. Brian Daubach, postgame when he hit a HR offa Wakefield in Chicago. Aw. How much did you love Daubach?
3. Johnny Damon - I don't remember the circumstances. It was subtle, though.
4. Tim Wakefield after you-know-who did you-know-what.
5. Bill Mueller in '04, sobbing in Francona's arms. AHEM. HRRMBLE.
6. Wade Boggs in 86, copiously and unashamedly.
7. Orlando Cabrera, his first visit back when he was with Anaheim.


5.3.06: Pawtucket @ Syracuse Sky Chiefs (TOR) - This Is Not the Bathroom!

Syracuse WINS! 7-6 in 11 innings.

And Deschenes should have gotten the win, too. He pitched five scoreless, two-hit innings while striking out 4. Can Deschenes pitch seven innings? Is he working up to this? I need to ask RJ.

Hansen gave up 3 runs in the bottom of the 8th to tie the game at 5-5. Pawtucket scored a run at the top of the 11th, but then Syracuse's John-Ford Griffin homered offa Bumatay and Rob Cosby batted in Wayne Lydon to win. Damn you, Rob Cosby! Further damnation upon YOU, Bumatay!

DH Jeff Bailey was Pawtucket's big offensive star, for what it's worth, with 3 RBI and a home run.

Tonight's game has been postponed. I'm assuming it's because of rain, but it could be a bomb threat. May 9th the PawSox come home and put an end to antiseptic game summaries.

Shut up! This is my last picture!

I wasn't gonna talk about baseball this evening, but I really need to sift through my feelings about Marc Deschenes.

I'm angry with myself for being easily manipulated into celebrating Cinco de Mayo, a Corona-fueled pseudo-holiday. In the US, I mean. The past few years I've been going to this little Mexican restaurant in Attleboro, MA and pounding margaritas and tamales. We used to go there a lot, too, after playing ball. It's so cheesy.

I'll be there tomorrow night!


In Syracuse RIGHT NOW!

Here's Syracuse's line-up tonight:

Figueroa (Figgy!) 3B
Roberts 2B
Barker DH
Mottola CF
Griffin LF
Phillips 1B
Cosby RF
Mahoney C
Santos SS

Josh Banks (1-1, 3.54 ) is pitching.

Banks is a 22-year-old righty and allegedly has an astounding 5-pitch repertoire. I find this difficult to believe. As in, BULLCRAP!

5.2.05: Pawtucket @ Ottawa - My Cat Jolly

Pawtucket won 5-3 and I'm really annoyed because I had my post done all nice but Blogger malfed and it's gone.

Suffice it to say that My Pal Alvarez is 4-0 with a sub-3 ERA. Attendance at this game was below 700.

Machado had a triple and a HR and he's heating up like a heater.


5.2.06: Paw @ Ottawa - Abe leaves 'em loaded.

Pawtucket Red Sox WIN 5-3

Abe Alvarez got the start and went "6.1" innings. I object to the use of 6.1 to mean 6 1/3. It's mathematically inaccurate, although I suppose baseball might be opting to use an alternate decimal system. One not based on tens. But then, shouldn't they reconfigure all player statistics such as ERA and Batting using this system? I don't like it.

Seven hits and three earned runs, two of which were allowed to score when Bausher took over in the 7th. Geez, Baush, have a heart. Van Buren got the save. Abe's 4-0 now, 2.55 ERA. I just absolutely love Alvarez. And as far as him being somewhat of a space cadet... come on. He's from California.

Cory Morris (0-3) ruined the hopes and dreams of Lynx fans everywhere, including the 772 people at the park. Christ. Hey, Baltimore, get your AAA team the hell out of Ottawa. And step on it.

Machado is finally heating up! He's still batting ninth but he had a triple and a HR in this game. He also played left field for unknown reasons. I need to get on the horn with RJ.

Coming up: Sky Chefs reheat the rivalry.


"I love Mike Lowell!

Not the way you're thinking... I wanna have SEX with Mike Lowell!"


May 1st: PAW @ OTT

Pawtucket wins, finally. 5-4

Read about it here. Who needs to know who Pawtucket's starting pitcher was, anyway?

I listened to the radio of this game a little and the guys mentioned that the crowd numbered about 900. Whoa! I also heard some Ottawa weather horror stories, like the tarp being frozen to the field and a lake forming in the outfield. Word on the street is that the Lynx will be moving to Allentown, PA. I think that's a great idea!

The lovely and talented Abe Alvarez starts tonight.

pardon me

Re: Mirabelli rolling in with a Statey.

I hope that was paid detail. I do NOT in any way approve of the State Police muscling their way through traffic to bring a baseball player to work. I am completely serious. The Boston Red Sox had better have paid for that service.

If not, that is BULLCRAP!

4.30.06: PAW @ Ottawa Lynx - Insufficient fun

Ottawa WINS 4-3

Is there no one owning and operating an Ottawa Lynx blog? The pawsox.com game summary does not even mention who pitched for Pawtucket. The Ottawa Lynx official web site is MLB cookie-cutter and kind of useless. In fact, does anyone know for sure if this game was even played? I can find no evidence of it on the internet.

Okay. Jimmy Serrano started for Pawtucket. N. McCurdy gets the win for Ottawa.

Sorry, I'm a little pissy. I hope I have better luck with the Sky Chiefs series.

San Diego is having the Best Week Ever!

Oh, to be the Padres. To have the one little thing that some rich club wants, a key to their success dangling in their faces. Imagine that kind of leverage. Boston got rightfully reamed on this one.
Josh Bard AND Cla Meredith AND PTBNL AND cash. Good for them. I wonder if they could have squeezed anything more out of the deal? Free Dunkin' Donuts coffee for life?

Oh, Cla Meredith. How I'll miss you. Hope you crack the big club this year.

Dear Doug Mirabelli: I'm not a True Red Sox Fan.

I'm not really a real, real Red Sox fan. I said it so you don't have to. At one time, I was. And it was before they won it all, when they weren't playoff contenders. But I've gotten sort of bored with them since then, bored with their ubiquitousness and overmarketed presence and Red Sox Nation and the unceasing flood of merch.

So, yeah, I'm not a True Red Sox Fan. I hear it all the time and I'm cool with it.

So why do I write about them so much? Because I can't ever truly extinguish the obsession. Because of my fierce, undying love for Trot Nixon and Mike Timlin and David Ortiz and Tim Wakefield. Because even though I KNEW it was for the best, I cried a little when I heard Shea was traded for BK Kim. Because I got my heart broken in '03 when in spite of shaving their heads, the Red Sox couldn't get past New York. Because of Pedro. Because of shitty beer in plastic bottles at City of Palms Park.


Everyone knows that Dougie is secretly an asshole. Sean McAdam mentioned the other day that he was not one of Tito's favorites because he was kind of "too big for his britches". But this is a man who seizes the ash with his bare hands and hits bombs when the call arises.

Hell, yeah, I watched the game last night. I was couch-ridden and medicated and drifting in and out of consciousness and when the game was tied, I headed off for bed. But I came back. I couldn't miss it. And I'm so glad I didn't. This game's been coming in epochal increments since Opening Day. Like a luxury liner keeping its date with an iceberg, it came.

I wouldn't have booed John Damon, though. The Kinks say 'Give the people what they want'. The bible says "Thou Shalt Not Horn in on Thy Neighbor's Racket". JS and Baby say, "You were right, Johnny! You can't win no matter what you do!"