less is more, love is blind

I know I'm in the terribly uncool minority here, but I freaking loved Hal Reynolds. Fuck all of yours.


Number 9

Ted Williams was an atheist. Do you hate him now?


Because I know you're worried about this.

In case you needed a Connecticut Defenders update, here it is.

I went to a Defenders game last night and they lost. Big deal, right? Well, the team's not doing so well. The stadium capacity is about 6,000 and the crowd last night was just over 2K. I was chatting with Ed the Friendly Usher and he said they've not been drawing, really. I think I know what the problem is:

1. Are there really that many SF Giants fans in New England? Are there still some residual NY Giants fans who can't let go?
2. The stadium is in an industrial park. You cannot see it from the street. I LIKE it when you're going to a game and as you get near the park, you can see the bright toothbrush lights poking out through the trees. It's much less cool to approach a ballpark going past squat, gray businesses with names like DynaGoCorps and CompuWest and Alloyed Metal Solutions.
3. This is kind of a radical theory, but here goes: the area is too high-income.

At the end of the game, the announcer said, "Please tell a friend what a good time you had tonight seeing the Connecticut Defenders."

Friends, I had a great time at the game. The pizza there is surprisingly good. It was a nice night for an evening. There's ample parking. And they have the craziest clock above the scoreboard. Go, team, go.


I was never here.

People keep asking me where Matt Clement is. I'm not sure, but I'll bet you could look it up.

This whole thing reminds me of people like BK Kim and Ramiro Mendoza. People who went on the DL for an extended time and essentially disappeared, with only the occasional vague medical update from Theo. "Oh, he's doing good, he threw a few pitches off the mound today. No, it would be irresponsible of the Red Sox to predict a return date, but we're pleased with his progress."

Friday night is Mike Lowell Spinners night. I'm pretty sure it's sold out.



Is MLB's National League the last of the professional leagues to have pitchers hit?

I've been to rashes of minor league games and all of them have the DH. I do not know what the case is in college. I do know that it seems odd and antiquated when I watch NL games. I worry about pitchers getting zinged in the hand/elbow/shoulder/ankle zones, although I probably shouldn't.

A lot of the oldsters dislike the DH. I can understand that. It's a major change. I would probably react the same way if MLB came up with some wacky new rule in my lifetime.

I wonder how hardcore NL fans would feel if they switched over to a DH lineup? I bet I know! I bet they'd go nuts! Especially Phillies fans. Yow!


7.17.06 PAW v. TOL (DET) - Baby, I Got Your Money

Pawtucket WINS! 8-6

Winning, like money, is one hell of a cosmetic.

Jason Johnson, who everybody hates, started for Pawtucket. The first batter he faced was Tike Redman. Tike Redman hit a double and things didn't get too much better after that. Johnson gave up 9 hits and 6 runs through five. The fifth inning was definitely the most awesome, because JJ gave up four runs... one of them walked in.

Sixth inning, here comes Marc Deschenes. Deschenes pitches not one, not two, but three innings and looks great doing it (4 K's). He should have started this game. At least he got the win.I'm circulating a petition to get him back as a starter. Check out my website, letsgetmarcdeschenesbackintothestartingrotation.org.

RJ must really hate me. Jermaine "Jermanie" Van Buren pitched the ninth. But it's okay. Nothing happened. JVB led the IL in saves last year. I know.

Colby Lewis started for Toledo. He had a few problems of his own... Kenny Huckaby managed a double off him. One more thing Huck cannot do: run. He is dreadful. Lewis pitched 6 innings, giving up the bulk of the runs in the third.

Jeff Bailey had another big game, going two for four with a double and a pair of RBI's. David Murphy homered in the first and hit a double off his first pitch in the third. David Murphy has been great in Pawtucket.

Two things:
1. A lot of the Pawtucket batters have been heating up. Pedroia and Machado most notably.
2. Wily Mo Pena was very, very nice in Pawtucket and signed a million autographs. He didn't do much on the field, however.
3. Dmitri Young played first base for the Mud Hens! Young went 3-5.
4. Dustan Mohr played center for Toledo. Good thing he got the hell out of Boston!

I want to so bad and I try but I can't.

I was gonna use this photo for my profile but it's too ...big. Complicated. It exceeds the capacity or something. I'll figure it out, eventually.


Will I still be perfect tomorrow?

In lieu of posting line-ups, I'm going to keep scanning my scorecards. I think this is a genius concept. Why didn't I think of this a long time ago?

7.15.06 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Charlotte Knights: Running Around Advancing Behaviour

Pawtucket WINS! 7-4

I realize that this game was a few days ago. It's very hot in here on the third floor and I'd really just like to leave but I haven't done a game summary in quite a while.

I bleed for you.

David Pauley started this game. He was somewhat red-faced and ineffective. He lobbed the ball to 30 batters in six and gave up nine hits and two walks. Oh, yeah, he hit two batters and gave up 4 runs. Exceptional performance. Definitely major league caliber.

A mysterious sox-up fellow came in to relieve Pauley. His number, 33, was not on the roster and I at first thought it could be Hertzler. (Abe Alvarez has changed his number a couple of times.) But it wasn't! It was Phil Siebel, who I forgot existed! Wow, what a treat! Phil S. was sincerely effective and crisp, a nice change from Mr. Messy. Two innings, 4 K's, no walks and no runs.

Jermaine "Man" Van Buren immediately gave up a lead-off single in the ninth. I hate JVB in late innings. But he got the last three outs after that and everyone was happy. Van Buren is uncomfortable for me to watch and he is probably going to die soon.

Lefty Valerio de los Santos started for Charlotte, a bad-ass IL team. He held Pawtucket to one measly run and two cheap hits through five. Andrew Lorraine pitched the sixth and hit Wily Mo on the tarsal rotator quad-cuff lat. Then came Dustin Hermanson...you remember him. He no longer looks like a member of Rascal Flatts but he pitches much like a washboard player. Hermanson cordially invited members of the Pawtucket Red Sox to load the bases around him. Then came Jeff Farnsworth who allowed 4 more runs. Yes.

Offensively: Once again, I don't know anything. The score was 4-1 after 6 and I had written the PawSox off.Then Handsome Jeff Bailey swooped in and did some dramatic RBI stuff. And Pedroia? My gal is red hot. DP busted .300 recently. And with the infielding!

Luke Allen report: Luke did not play. I thought he might come in and PH for Yuck-aby but no. At this point, I feel kind of bad for Ken Huckaby. All his homies were getting on base and he is just hopeless at the plate. RJ is probably yelling, "Yeah, Huck! Git you some!" and Ken is dying inside.

Back to Luke Allen: sometimes when people ask for his autograph, Luke will ask if his son can sign one. Is that cute? I think it is.

Two things:
1. There are two players on the Charlotte Knights named Josh Fields. Fortunately, one is a pitcher, else I don't know what.
2. The manager of the Knights is named Razor Shines. Come on!
3. There was an unmistakable smell coming from the visitors' dugout/clubhouse area. I'm just saying. I was sitting right there.
4. The Hess Express / Change-Up stand at first base sells Willow Tree brand Chicken Salad. It is true what they say about Willow Tree: it spoils you off of any other chicken salad. It is the Cadillac of chicken salad. Can I please get a what what on Willow Tree? They also have vegetarian stuff.
5. I'll probably be at the park tonight. Then karaoke!

What I like about me.

Eating and baseball, baseball and eating. Hell, yeah.

A friend of mine pointed out last night that people who love Mexican food sometimes act like it's their dirty little secret. Well, not me. I was at Rancho Chico in Plainville, Mass last night having a mariachi experience. Their food's SLIGHTLY gringo-ified but not in a Texas, dripping with cheese kind of way. It's so good. The waitstaff is exceptional.

Burrito Max is closed. That place in Kenmore Square. I found this out on A Red Sox Fan in Pinstripe Territory (a blog). I have never felt such despair. Like, oh, all of a sudden I'm supposed to go eat at that horrible Pizzeria Uno on the corner??? What happened? I don't get it. I just don't get it.


she could steal but she could not rob

I did two bad things at Fenway Thursday night.

The first thing is that I paid for parking. You have to understand something. I never, EVER pay for parking. I would sooner park in Brookline and walk the 2.5 miles than pay $30-$90 dollars for a 5'X 12' patch of asphalt. But it was something of an occasion and I got there a little late and the secret little road I sometimes park on was horsed off. I'm sorry, I blacked out.

The second thing is... I spilled beer on someone on my way back to my seat. So awkward and shameful.

By the way, a big F-YOU to the medicated woman sitting near me who said, "Going home to beddy-bye? Gotta work tomorrow?" as I was heading to the restroom between innings. I'm sorry about the head trauma, sweetheart, but please don't talk to me.

By the way, Pizza Man in Cumberland, RI has the best Greek-style pizza around. Plus it's oblong!

How to lose $500 in one night.

Um, I'm kind of all set with Fenway for now. I do have the Futures Game coming later this summer, but that's it. I was at the A's game the other night and yes, I had a good time. But holy crap, I might as well have strewn 20's on my living room floor and then vacuumed them up with all the crumbs and cat hair.

Since I'm a horrible jinx, Boston lost. But it's kind of okay because I like Oakland a lot. And if you needed yet another reason to love Mike Lowell... his at-bat song is "London Calling" by the Clash.

Tonight I'm off to see those Pawtucket crumb-bums play the heavenly Charlotte Knights. I had my choice of excellent seats but I stupidly chose to sit on the first base side. With the kids and the screaming. Eh, could be worse. Could be raining.


you're on my mind like a song on the radio

I just bought a six-pack of Lone Star beer. Makes me feel pretty tuff. Hand me a six-shooter and a badge, Margaret!

Lucky's coming tomorrow. And baseball...


I'm not braggin' on myself, baby.

I haven't been doing too much Pawtucket Red Sox stuff lately. It's mostly because I'm lazy and irresponsible.

I've also been wondering if PawSox players ever Google themselves. And that makes me feel kind of bad. Especially when it comes to Ken Huckaby, because I've frequently pointed out how useless he is.

Conversely, other players may be frightened and disturbed by some of my leering observations. One of these days, Tim Bausher (a mediocre, unreliable relief pitcher) is going to overhear me saying, "YEAH, baby, WORK IT! Shake that thing!" as he walks past me on the way to the bullpen. That is unprofessional and inappropriate. And it detracts from my feminine credibility.

I am going to try and refrain from commenting on players' physical attributes in future game summaries. As much as I'd like to Rank the PawSox In Order of Hotness, I won't do it.

There was a program on Spike TV last night about the insanity of sports fans. Johnny Damon and Curt Schilling were featured. As it turns out, Curt Schilling is afraid of us. He probably should be. I've seen the way some fans behave. And I'm probably in the minority, but I feel bad for guys like Schilling and Manny and other superstars.

Okay, gotta run.

JS jumps the shark.

Yeah, that's right!

Remember how I won a major award? Well, I made a quick phone call to the airline and threw out the phrase "Green Love". I'm going to Petco Park!

Listen to this: I called the park to get tickets the other day, not knowing what would be available. As it turned out, I could have sat anywhere in the park. WHAT? It's the last homestand of the year! And last I checked, the Padres are still contenders. Yet, on a Saturday night, I was able to get seats right above the home dugout. Does that seem strange to you? Is no one going to Petco?

I've never been to California before, either. It's gonna be good. Yes? No?

I'm going to Peabody, Mass for a couple of days. That's weird.

PS Fucking Detroit Tigers. I am so thrilled for them. If they don't make it to the WS, I don't know what.


If I have to hear "Centerfield" one more time.

What I did know about Brooksie's Pub: It's great on St Pat's, it has an above average beer selection, it's friendly, it's reasonably priced, the patrons are somewhat normal.

What I did not know about Brooksie's Pub: they have a SLAMMIN' pizza there. I don't know if I was just drunk or whatever, but I swear. I got a pepperoni and garlic. Thin crust. Hell, yeah.

The funny thing is I was sitting at the bar with my longtime "sister" and some guy in baseball pants, half drunk, sidles up to me and says, "You wanna come play softball? We need another girl."

I could have said yes. I had my glove in the car. I probably should have done it. But I was a little tired and sort of intent on drinking and watching the game. Which sucked, right? And the other TV was showing the stupid Yankees game.

At approximately three a.m., I barfed up all the pizza and Narragansett I'd consumed at Brooksie's. That's Brooksie's Pub, Smithfield Ave, Lincoln, RI.


Wake, just admit it.

Preface: I love Tim Wakefield. I love The Dancer. I love his WS Ring. I may even love his facial hair. God from God, light from light, true god from true god, begotten not made, one in being with the father. For reals.

And I know how much Wake does for The Kids. I know he's always got his cleats on. I know he gave up his Game Four start to try and salvage Game Three. I know he shaved his head with the rest of the guys in '03. I know he loves his son. I know the Russians love their children, too.

I'm just a little tired of his endless do-gooderism and humility these days. Am I the only one who remembers how he'd get a little snippy after a bad start? Not any more, I guess. Every time I see him on TV, it's "I'm just blessed to be playing a kids' game" and "Don't get mad at Josh Bard, it's my fault" and "I couldn't have done it without my teammmates picking me up" and how special everything is. How many Roberto Clemente awards can one guy amass, anyway?

PawSox return July 13th. Until then.

"I'm on Melrose Place!"

you know

if you break my heart, I'll go

But I'll Be Back Again


You're out.

New season of Project Runway starts July 12th.