Julio Lugosi

Happy Halloween!


snow removal

The Buffalo Bisons have hired a new groundskeeper! The guy's name is Daniel Blank and last year he was the head groundskeeper for the double A Birmingham Barons, the White Sox affiliate. I'll bet taking care of a field in Buffalo is a lot different than doing it in Birmingham. I can't imagine they get much snow in Alabama.

Blank has an associate's degree in Turf Management from Anoka-Hennepin Technical College. He also has a BS in Hospitality and Tourism Management. So... yeah, those are some serious qualifications.

The previous groundskeeper, Kari Allen, resigned to take a job at Benedictine U. Best of luck, Kari!


"No more Guns n' Roses and the Soup Dragons!"

So the other day I heard a gent on the radio who called into a sports program... he wanted the World Series to start earlier, since he lived in Ireland and the games started at about one a.m.

The radio host was amazed that baseball existed in Ireland. The caller said he'd been in Boston when the Red Sox won the World Series... he was at a bar and couldn't believe the mania. Hooked ever since. He mentioned a documentary about Irish baseball called "The Emerald Diamond".

I just ordered it. I can't wait!

(Disclaimer: I am not Irish.)

Brandon Moss does not own a copy of 'Pyromania'.

Brandon Moss had left the team to go play winter baseball in the Dominican Republic (con Las Aguilas Cibaeñas). He is going to continue to work on his first-basiness. I mean, don't you wish you were there right now? Under the palm trees? Watching DR baseball?

I've read enough baseball "auto"-biographies to know that many players dislike winter ball. Many complaints about Latin America and its lack of amenities. The dyptheria and malaria and rickets and whatever. Brandon Moss had this to say about the last time he was in the Dominican:

"Winter ball was great. I got to see what another country was like, and the Dominican Republic was awesome. The people there were unbelievable, and it was great playing in front of them. People say places here (in this country) have crazy fans, but they haven't seen these fans. People there love their baseball. That's their life."

Dominican teams are only allowed seven foreign players on their roster. Derek Lee is there... working as a pitcher. Apparantly in winter ball, he pitches. (Wait... okay, it is a different Derek Lee. Not the tall guy on the Cubs.)

Former PawSox great Tim Kester is also down there, along with Mike Rose (catcher, Buffalo Bisons [CLE]).

One day I will go check out this "Winter Baseball".


I'm sorry, but... Rolls Forrester.

Well, that wasn't so bad. I thought a Cleveland loss would break my heart, but no. The nationally hated Red Sox are going up against Tulo and Co. But as a Tall Person wisely said, It's Not Like 2004.

I love seeing the Pawtucketeers hanging out in their dark gray hoodies during the game. Kevin Cash, Brandon Moss, Royce Clayton... are they just happy to be watching postseason baseball? There they are, front and center in the dugout. You'd think they'd be soreheads about not being on the roster. But they look awfully merry...

Clayton was only in Pawtucket for a little while, but I loved him!

Two things:
1. Royce Clayton has triplets.
2. Royce Clayton's wife, Samantha Davies, is a British Olympic sprinter.
3. RC lives in Arizona and is something of a businessman. He has an audio-visual shop, for example.
4. Cool quote: "Why should I have to conform? What are we conforming to? I don't think my hair should be an issue. I wouldn't ask the baseball establishment to take off their khaki pants or patent leather shoes. It's a spiritual thing. The key is knowing who you are. It's not an outward lashing, but an inward peace." YEAH!!! FUCKING CONFORMISTS!!! STUPID ESTABLISHMENT!!!
5. Royce Clayton is much cooler than Tony Womack.
6. "Royce Clayton" is a character in the movie "The Rookie". RC did not play himself. "Royce Clayton" strikes out in the movie so who wants to play THAT guy?
7. Clayton is a jerk: "Knowing that the average major league shortstop is making between $4 million and $5 million," Clayton said, "it would be a disservice to my family to entertain that offer ($1.5 mil) after I put up the two types of seasons that I did."
8. There is another, more deadly Royce Clayton from Texas.
9. "Royce Clayton" is Francis Buxton's second cousin. Maybe.
10. Here's Clayton with former PawSox great Michael Tucker and Frank Robinson. I have no idea where the hell they are.


tiffany epiphany

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketReligious experiences often come in the form of a visit in a dream. Jesus, for example, may come to you while you're sleeping and tell you something important. Maybe you forgot where you hid your stash - well, I hear sometimes the Blessed Virgin will whisper its location in your ear while you're all 'ZZZZZZZZ'.

Unfortunately, none of those people have ever dropped in on me. No saints or spirits or God or anyone. My Midnight Messengers tend to be MLB'ers. Like Pedro! Sneer if you want, Churchy, but does your higher power have a Cy Young award?

Last night/this morning I dreamed I was riding shotgun next to Keith Foulke. The car was a beater (a Maverick?) and there was a half-inch of wet snow on the streets. Dusk. Undeterred by the slipperiness, Foulke was hitting a stainless steel flask. There were people in the back seat in parkas. It seemed like the late 80's.

"Is that coffee?" I asked him. Even though, yeah right. He said "Nooo" very condescendingly and waved a bottle of Yukon Jack in my direction. I wanted a sip very badly but was too polite to ask. He didn't offer. Then I woke up.

This sort of thing doesn't appear in the Old Testament, but there're imprints of Catholicism all over this dream. Like yesterday was Foulke's birthday. And... he's coming back, you know. He wants back in. He's all better now and he was only kidding about not really liking baseball. RESURRECTION!!!

I have read where people are saying "Hell, yeah, I would give him a shot in Boston. Why not?" And that is a very stupid idea. I don't know anything, and I know that a one-year hiatus from pitching doesn't re-elasticize your arm and junk. I get the feeling KF needs money.

(his spirit entered me and I became Allular)


I am justified! I am sanctified! I am purified!

I am mystified. How does Josh Beckett do it? He almost seems totally stoned when he pitches. He's got that thousand-yard stare. Bored. I thought there is no way that JB can be this good AGAIN. Not possible. But there he was.

Does it hurt? Does he wake up tomorrow and feel flattened and sore? Do his knees buckle in the shower? It has to be excruciating, not that you could tell.

How come some big dumb Texan asshole gets to be that amazing?

Do you remember Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine? What happened to those guys?

"Hello, good evening, welcome... and goodbye."


Who wants to watch the World Series?

I hate when people bitch about the WS participants. "Who wants to see a Indians/Rockies World Series" they might say.

I do! I WANNA SEE IT! I love the World Series! The only time I didn't was during the cold, grey October of 2003 when I woke up every day and realized it wasn't a bad dream. I went through a media blackout around then and felt like a freak. Could not read the paper or watch sports television. Couldn't listen to sports radio. Unbearable. I later discovered I wasn't the only one and felt a little less weird.

But now I would love to watch that Marlins WS on DVD. Is it out? I really want it!

I would watch a Pirates/Rangers World Series. I would have watched an Expos/Mariners matchup. Even a Cardinals/White Sox series! I don't care! It's the World Series, asshole!

unrelated: When I was at ALCS Game 2, they played the entire Sgt Pepper album accompanied by historical/hysterical Red Sox footage on the Giant Broadcast Screen before the game started. Ever since then I have been having recurring dreams involving those songs: Fixing a Hole, A Little Help from my Friends, For the Benefit of Mr. Kite even. And then that stupid Beatles song hippie movie came out. I know it got good reviews. It's still fucking stupid. I much prefer to wake up to the kickoff guitar intro leading up to 'It was...',loud enough in my head to convince me that someone had cued it up.

The last time I played that CD was probably 2000 on the Jersey Turnpike, stuck in traffic on the way home from Pennsylvania in my brand! new! car! Crazy weekend. Ask Lucky about that.


lastly: I love how it's called the "WORLD" series. What, a team or two in Canada? Do you think the rest of the "World" cares? (Not you, Japan. Taiwan. Maybe Italy.)

How about we move the Blue Jays to Buffalo? The Buffalo Blue Jays. DO IT.

just when i needed you most

I'll be watching the game tonight. Possibly final game.

I could miss it, though. I could not watch and do something else.

I like the Indians. I picked them to win the ALCS. I still think they are going to do it. I don't see how they can't. A lot of people KNEW this was going to happen but couldn't say it out loud. And maybe my worst secret is that I want to see Cleveland play the Rockies.

Red Sox lose: I'll be saddened. I could barely watch the Diamondbacks' faces in the NLCS even though (like everyone else) I was all for the blessed, beloved Rockies. Eric Byrnes is an asshole yet I hated to see him make the last out. It's pathological. I always feel bad for the losing team. Yes, even the Yankees sometimes. It's an embarassing affliction that I take a lot of crap for.

Call the cops on me. I'm not a TRUE Red Sox fan. My allegiance is diluted by Twins love and Devil Rays appreciation and National League curiosity. I'm distracted by the minor leagues. I'm not rabid or passionate. Ask me what I think of Theo! Schilling!

I'm less and less charmed by Boston every day. This confuses me since there was a time when it was all I ever did. I went to the park at every opportunity. I read all the message boards and blogs and read about the players and saved the best pictures into desktop folders. I'd watch the game every night. Wherever I was: pool halls and barbecues and taverns. And it STILL wasn't enough. It ruined my life! I could write a book about the Destructive Properties of Fanhood. (Chapter One: The Financial Drain.)

I love Pedroia! Lowell! Okajima! Tito! David Ortiz endlessly! I love the bullpen and the left fielder! I love that bald guy with the glasses that sits in the dugout! I love Wiggum, the bullpen cop. I may love Coco Crisp and Alex Cora. Wow, I could talk myself back into this!

But then there's Casey Blake's beard, Rafael Betancourt and Trot Nixon. And Ohio! The Curse of Rocky Colavito!

Yeah, I'm watching it tonight. BAKED ZITI!!!!!
Mark Shapiro totally looks like Cole Hauser. YES HE DOES!!


Viene "Jalohuín" muy pronto y si tu quieres, tu puedes ver KISSED! en el Estadio de Campanelli en Brockton.

It's on October 26th... ten dollar cover, five if you are in costume. Doors open at 6, show starts at 7. I didn't get to see the Rox this year so maybe I'll check this out.


can i call you? do you still hate me?

I'm sorry I don't post that much anymore, Handful. I wish I could remember what I wrote about last year. I guess I could write about Boston, but they don't belong to me like Pawtucket does.

So here is this: on the Friday night when Boston won the division (against Minnesota), I could see the guys in the bullpen with their arms over their heads, waving? tapping? snapping? WHAT? Ok, they were banging water bottles onto the front inside part of the bullpen roof. Bang bang bang, BANGBANGBANG!

So I'm sorry I didn't tell you this but I went to the game last night. You know, the one with the losing. And I was a few rows back from the Red Sox bullpen. During the Boston at-bats you could hear the drumming. Like feel it. Individual drum songs as written by the Boston Relief Corps. Better than your high school marching band. You couldn't help but clap with them. When "LET'S GO RED SOX" would start, the bullpen would finish. With cowbell. BOOM BOOM, BOOMBOOMBOOM. Commendable drumming from Timlin and his crew.

The losing wasn't so bad. It was my persistant, hacking TB cough. I could have died. And I can't hate on Gagne too much. He's a little lost, is all.

And Javier Lopez will always be okay with me. Pawtucket stock. Relentless handsomeness.

One more Q: What was going on with Ryan Garko? Was he being a jerk to the fans?


They let Indians fans into Jacobs Field for free to watch the game on the extra large broadcasting TV thing. You still had to get tickets... I mean, you couldn't just show up and walk in... but it was free! (unless you wanted schmancy club seats, and who wants those?) So thousands of people went to the park and it must have been great.

Larry Lucchino is right now kicking himself for not doing this.

Cleveland radio guy: "The Indians are 4 outs from a trip to Boston...and they won't be visiting the Cape!"

They talked to Kelly Shoppach after the game and he mentioned that for most people, it was more about the Yankees losing than Cleveland winning. Well, yeah, but he didn't have to go and say it and make me feel like a jerk. Sorry, KS.

Four days is a long time to wait.



Wow, I really like the Cleveland announcers! I like their subtle pokes at the Yankees... you can kind of tell they don't take them seriously.

I'm listening over the internet because I don't have cable and I feel like I'm wearing out my welcome, calling people and saying, "Um, hey... are you going to be watching the game tonight?" And lately they only want to watch football. Even at the ol' tavern.

So I hope tonight they get it done. YES! YES! YES!


every thought could be the beginning

So it is, the Rockies and the Diamondbacks. I was watching the Cubs game last night and damn if those Diamondbacks aren't very, very good. Danger Will Robinson. If I were a Cubs fan I don't know what. Phillies fans also clouded over. I know what it feels like.

I may have to miss some of the game today as I will be in Wakefield, Mass doing a fund-raising walk around the lake for Down Syndrome. My brother's baby has Down's. I have never been to Wakefield. I'm bringing my very small radio.

California! Californians! I went for the first time last September and it is warm and alluring. I was in Barrio Logan and I could have lived there with lace curtains. Sleep late and take the train. Walk to PetCo sometimes. I hope the Boston kids had fun on their day off.

You know that band Maroon 5? How I hate them!


sentimental tears won't get you far as you might think they will

Trot Nixon must be loving this. The killings. The one best part of Boston he still has. Oh, sure, if anyone asks, the Yankees are a great team. Classy. Tough. But the Volcano loves trampling out their vintage. If he could have fellated Hafner in a Christian, heterosexual fashion last night, he would have. What a great game. FAUSTO!! I wanted to be there so badly. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

During the Boston/Anaheim at-bats last night, I was distracted by home plate ump Iassogna's wide blue eyes. Like tractor beams. I thought it was Bill Mueller for a second. Bullpen was ferocious. Delcarmen and Okajima and Papelbon taking up for Matsuzaka. And Manny, which everyone saw coming. After a while you get that intuition.


preview featurette

Torii Hunter had a bad night then gave his bat away.

my heart stood still

stay out of my september

I'm talking to YOU, football!

If you'd seen him in Pawtucket, you wouldn't have had April panic. Radio callers are mostly unbearable and loud. Now, look: you love him. So next time don't be so stupid.

I saw Manny with Ortiz in Baltimore. One fucking well-dressed man. Both are clearly very wealthy. A Red Sox fan in glasses near me nearly collapsed upon seeing Ramirez. He exclaimed, "Oh my god, it's the guy with the sweetest swing in the American League!" Voice atremble. I'll never forget. The loop of the swing is a planetary ellipse. Perfect in plane form.


I never met him. Ambiorix is a much stranger name. I don't think he made it to first this time. LeCroy is unimpressed.

I wasn't happy about sitting behind the net. I like to use auto-focus but the net ruins everything so I had to go to manual. Matsuzaka's game was tight. As usual I had too much going on: scoring, camera, binoculars, beer, sweatshirt, hat. Broke in my 1950's scorebook but pitching now v. then is different. Then: no DH, one pitcher all nine. No closers. Now: several pitchers. I improvised. It wasn't easy.

what compels people to take pictures of the moon?


I kept track of the COL/SDP game with the help of the low-tech Yahoo! Sports page that refreshes every 30 seconds. I also found all the answers on the Gameday page. It's creepy yet effective. While Trevor Hoffman was making all his teammates tremble and projectile vomit, his performance was denoted by a little roster photo, smiling without a care in the world. The picture smiles, the pitcher collapses.

I am a casual Padres fan, but the Rockies in the post-season excites me.

Let's do this damn thing.