pm snap: Gil Velazquez

7.30.09 Pawtucket Red Sox@ Buffalo Bisons (NYM)

It's too bad the Buffalo Bisons are such an old team. If they became the Buffalo Mets, they would get so paid. 4-1 Buffalo.

Michael Bowden. Lance Broadway. Both starters pitched well. Both guys went seven innings. Broadway got an extra out, going 7 1/3. Eighty pitches, one run and 6 K's for Bowden. 106 pitches, one run, four K's for Broadway. But what's his stance on abortion?

Hunter Jones finished the game off and gave up three runs to Buffalo, but let's face it: Even if Jones had not allowed ANY runs top score, the game would have been tied 1-1 and may have stayed that way until the twelfth inning. And then Lopez or someone would have walked too many guys and Travis Denker or someone would have made an error and Buffalo would have won anyway.

Anyway, Buffalo left fielder Nick Evans hit a three-run homer off Hunter Jones, so I'd say he had a pretty good night.

Chris Carter got the sole RBI for Pawtucket.

it never ends:
1. Does it?

Tomorrow! More Buffalo! Billy Traber v Kyle? Stoner. Tobi Stoner, sorry. Are they gonna have a season ticket holder cookout or not this year?


I am probably going to change the name of the blog again. "The Original PawSox Blog" sounds too much like I am taking a shot at other Pawtucket bloggers and that does not sit well with me. They're doing it better than I ever could.

But I totally love my blog and I am very proud of it, in spite of its imperfection.

If you have a good suggestion, lay it on me. If you have a stupid suggestion, don't clog up my e-mail.

afternoon snap: Carter, Scales, Spann, ?, ump. 2007

Freddy G

Freddy Guzman was released. Fuck that noise. I liked that kid a lot. He was one of the only guys on the team that didn't play like he was on Quaaludes.

Welcome to Rhode Island, Brian Anderson. I guess. Sean Danielson must have done something really bad.

(later) You know what? They're doing Guzman a favor! He absolutely deserves a team that will bat him in after he steals second. I'm not mad any more!

7.29.09 Pawtucket@ Buffalo


Bisons win, 3-0. Ken Takahashi pitched four scoreless innings, but the win went to reliever Adam Pettyjohn. Adam Bostick got the save.

Enrique Gonzalez pitched fairly well, but when you give up three runs and you're pitching for Pawtucket, don't start popping bottles. It's like the Sharks and the Jets in the clubhouse, I'll bet.

Javier Lopez has been inconstant lately. Lopez came into the seventh inning with two RISp and one out. He immediately gave up an RBI single to Argenis 'Jose' Reyes. Mistakes were made. Lopez got the hook in favor of big Randor Bierd. Typical PawSox bullshit.

oh yeah? yeah!
1. Angel Chavez made two errors. Pawtucket committed four errors in the game. Unacceptable.
2. Jeff Natale has the highest average on the Red Sox. And that is really, really sad.
3. These guys also ruined Junichi Tazawa's very good start the other day.
4. This team is even worse than 2007.
5. I saw Ken Takahashi at McCoy a couple of weeks ago. He was charting pitches. The weird thing about it was that he was in full uniform.
6. Adam Pettyjohn is new to the Mets org. He is also not really a reliever.

Today! Bowden v Broadway. Bowden's picked it up lately, so let's see how it goes. Why not?


why can't i always have my way? why doesn't everybody like me?

My brother's taking an August vacation with his wife and daughter. He is spending a week in Pittsburgh.

Who takes a vacation in Pittsburgh? And why am I so jealous?

I mention this because macho shithead Van Every's a Pirate now. And because longtime IL guy Garrett Jones has found a happy home in Pittsburgh. Too bad he's too fat to play center field.

Charlie Zink won his game yesterday. Aside from Zink, here's who's left from the PawSox 2008 team that set records and made the playoffs:

Gil Velazquez
Chris Carter
Dusty Brown
Hunter Jones

I suppose I could add Jeff Bailey and Devern Hansack, but they're on the DL. It creeps me out when players are on the DL for too long. It's like they cease to exist. There are no updates. Are they building up their strength, soft-tossing and stretching and lifting or are they smoking blunts while watching Animal Planet?

Probably both. Probably both.

Day Game: Pawtucket Red Sox v Columbus Clippers

Kris Johnson finally did something right. Pawtucket hitters continue to stand helplessly at the plate with useless tree-hewn cudgels atop their feeble shoulders. 4-3 Columbus.

Maybe it's Javier Lopez' fault. Pawtucket was ahead 2-1 until Lopez gave up three runs in the seventh. Plus he made a stupid throwing error.

Maybe it's Vaquedano's fault. Vaquedano gave up a solo home run to Jordan Brown after he took over for Kris Johnson.

It could be Aaron Bates' fault. Bates struck out with the bases loaded in the fifth for the final out.

I like to think it's Bubba '0-4' Bell's fault. Just because.

but here's list because i'm lazy:
1. Center fielder Trevor Crowe hit that two-run double off Lopez in the seventh, so he is your Columbus hero. And then! And then! Javier Lopez thinks he's Derek Lowe or something and tries to pick off Crowe at second! HEL-LO!!!??? The ball goes out to center field and Crowe scores.
2. I heard the Clippers' new ballpark is Rick Diculous. And so I should go there next year? Love to! Who's paying?
3. In the fifth inning, when Clippers starter Zach Jackson walked Chris Carter to laod the bases, pitching coach Scott Radinsky and mgr Torey Lovullo got ejected for arguing the strike zone.
4. Freddy Guzman tripled. And I missed it! I love triples. But I hate triplets! I also hate throwing up in public.
5. Remember Mike Tejera from last year? No? Lefty, Cuban refugee, started AND came out of the pen? Had a bad mustache for a while? Okay, I know you don't remember him but he's on the Clippers now. So he must be glad.

Tomorrow! Buffalo! The Conehead! That pizza place on Chippewa! Canadian Border Patrol! And, ta-da, Junichi Tazawa will face whatever guy on the Mets minor league team fits the glove. Oh, look at that, it's Nelson Figueroa. AGAIN.


7.25.09 Red Sox v Clippers

PawSox... win? 13-11? I hope you're proud. Jesus.

Pawtucket ran amok on Columbus starter Ken Ray's five innings. Twelve hits! Ten runs! Even little Ivan Ochoa homered off Ray! Crazy!

25-year-old Frank Herrmann finally took over for the Clippers in the sixth inning. Herrmann worked for two innings and managed to shut the Pawtucket bats up. Was that so hard? Geez.

Billy Traber started again for Pawtucket. Look, I understand the pitching situation but come on. Come. On. COME. ON. Are you telling me that there's no one in the lower minors worthy of a call-up? This is so typically Pawtucket. Maybe even triple-A. Remember Jimmy Serrano? Oh my god.

Traber didn't do too badly... okay, he didn't pitch that great, but he only gave up four runs. Normally four runs is game over for Pawtucket, but not last night.

Travis Denker and Chris Carter had four RBI apiece. Because they are clutch.

This game was stupid. I hate a sloppy relief corps with a big lead. BULLSHIT EGGS.

grip force the vials and strip the locks:
1. Thank you, major media outlets, for pointing out that Javier Lopez is getting his act together. I totally beat you to it, but I ain't mad. Lopez flaked out a little in this game, but w/e.
2. Newcomer Chris Duncan is the only kid who didn't get a hit, but he walked three times. I'll take it.
3. Chris Carter and Bubba Bell each made an error.
4. Is Aaron Bates no longer an outfielder? He's only played the outfield once in 33 Pawtucket games. I looked it up.
5. Ken Ray is a highly valued player: They let Ray throw 120 pitches. I hope he got good and drunk after the game. For the Lord.

Day game in Pawtucket today. Charlie Zink v Zach Jackson. I have a wild prediction: PawSox lose.

I love you!


sailing on, moving on

Oh my god. Paul McAnulty got released.


Not really. McAnulty wore uniform number 34, like Ortiz, but the similarities ended there. Still, I liked him well enough.

In a related story, new outfielder! Chris Duncan! Who is nothing like Jason Lane! Get ready to score up to FOUR runs a game, PawSox!


Pawtucket Red Sox (BOS) v Columbus Clippers (CLE)

Losing must be so comfy for Pawtucket. It's familiar ground, at least. Like easing into a piping hot bathtub... ahhh! 3-1 Clippers.

Columbus's starting pitcher was lefty Chuck Lofgren, who started the year in double-A Akron in spite of being 33 years old. Lofgren pitched decently for six innings and got the win. He gave up the only Pawtucket run in the first inning when new kid Chris Duncan hit an RBI single.

The Red Sox countered with Michael Bowden. Bowden did a great job, giving up two runs in seven innings. Both runs were solo homers courtesy of Matt Laporta and Jordan Brown. Bowden got the hook after 80 pitches in favor of Randor Bierd, who gave up the third run.

I guess that's pretty much everything.

two things:
1. Pawtucket could only muster three hits. All of them were singles. Guzman and Bates did not get on base once. WEAK.
2. I think this is Bowden's second start of moderate-to-good quality in a row. Seven innings is a big deal in Pawtucket. This is more heartwarming than a romantic movie that involves time travel.
3. Randor Bierd is back after.. something. He was on the inactive list is all I know. I wonder if they put you on the inactive list if you have to go to rehab? Not physical rehab... SUBSTANCE REHAB.
4. In no way am I implying that Randor Bierd is an alcoholic or something.
5. Steve Hyder pretty much called the team out on his blog. Dan Hoard's a little bit country... Hyder's a little bit rock n roll.
6. What I am trying to say is that Hyder sometimes hangs out with Jeff Bailey and listens to the Who and the White Album.
7. Former Columbus Clipper Bret Boone was an alcoholic? Did he have to go on the TIA?!
8. Oh. Ummm... "The Game – Tonight, the Columbus Clippers will be facing the Scranton/WB Yankees at 7:05 at McCoy Stadium." From 'Sailing the Ship', a Clippers blog. I think.
9. Dear Chuck Lofgren's wife/mom: Please don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about and that Chuck was in double-A because he was rehabbing. At least not in front of anybody.
10. I swear I know my gazintas: Chuck Lofgren is only 23. Also, he had a GREAT outing!

Tomorrow! Kenny Ray v Billy Traber. Okay, are you kidding me with this Traber in the rotation bullshit? Don't answer that. I like to think I explored the possible conversion of a reliever to a starter, and that it's documented here somewhere, but I have a bad feeling it was just a dream.

Jeff Natale is fascinating.

7.24.09 Pawtucket @ Rochester (MIN)

I knew it would be Enrique Gonzalez. I knew it. Pawtucket wins 5-3 in twelve innings, reliever Rocky Cherry gets the win.

Enrique Gonzalez started for Pawtucket and pitched into the eighth inning. Gonzalez only gave up two runs, which is commendable. Except if you're pitching for Pawtucket... two runs is often too much by half.

Rochester scored first in the bottom of the third. After a pair of walks, shortstop Trevor Plouffe hit an RBI single. Pawtucket started stressing out over this insurmountable 1-0 lead, but the fifth inning proved to be fortuitous for the Sox.

With Paul McAnulty on first thanks to a walk, Gil Velazquez hit a home run. Yes, I'll hold. 2-1 Pawtucket? And in the sixth inning Pawtucket scored another run when Aaron Bates sac flied to score Ochoa? A two run lead, you say? And then what happened?

Bottom of the eighth, one out. Pawtucket leads 3-1. Catcher Jose Morales pinch hits for Butera, a move that bears fruit when Morales singles. Javier Lopez replaces Gonzalez and gives up a two-run homer to pinch hitter Matt Macri. AAAAARRRRGHHHH. Lopez, WHY??! And then, even though Lopez gets another out, he goes ahead and gives up a double to Steven Tolleson. STEVEN TOLLESON, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That kid wears footy pajamas to bed after he calls his grandma to tell her he loves her!

AND THEN PAWTUCKET TOTALLY TOOK OUT JAVIER LOPEZ!!! INCONCEIVABLE! This is the kind of move that says, hey! Maybe we want to actually win a game! I'm pretty sure winning ballgames is not a PawSox objective, right? I thought it was a series of innings and pitch counts and getting guys some work? This is crazy!

Fernando Cabrera, The Closer. Cabrera IBB's Huber, whose been crushing and crocheting Pawtucket the whole damn series. And then Danny Valencia flies out to center to end the heartbreaking eighth inning. TIE GAME.

In the subsequent innings, there's a lot of defensive subs and pinch running and all of that mess. In the ninth, Guzman singles and steals second, but Jeff Natale leaves him hanging when he strikes out to end the inning. In the tenth, Paul McAnulty flies out with runners on first and second.

The eleventh inning, oh my god. I'm so glad I wasn't at this game, I would have had red, red fists. Denker leads off with a double, which is great, I'm all for it. Then Velazquez the home run queen comes up and is all trying to bunt. He fails at it, shamefully, striking out on a foul bunt which is one of the worst ways you can make an out. Freddy Guzman flies out. The Jeff Natale does something productive: He singles! Good news, right? WRONG. Travis Denker, because he is so fleet-footed, comes around third and heads for home.

Travis Denker is out at home plate, gunned down by Tommy Watkins. RJ, did you wave him in? I guess in a way I can't blame you. Pawtucket doesn't score and we move to the twelfth.

Juan Morillo (who?) is pitching for Rochester. Ochoa walks, Wagner doubles, Bates walks. Bases loaded for new reliever Jason Jones. McAnulty grounds into a force out, but Ochoa scores!

Bubba Bell comes in to pinch run for McAnulty. Travis Denker hits an RBI single, scoring Wagner. 5-2 Pawtucket.

Have I gone on long enough? Don't bury me 'cause I'm not dead yet. Cherry is replaced by Vaquedano, who is maybe starting to believe his own press. With two outs, that BRAT Justin Huber singles. Vaquedano then walks the next two batters. Red Wings fans are probably out of their minds. Bases loaded, Dustin Martin at the plate. Martin strikes out! Game over! Pawtucket Finally Wins!!!

Even though they shouldn't have. What a fucking mess this game was. I think Rochester was stunned by their ineptitude and thereby mentally impaired.

when it all comes down i can show you something you will not believe:
1. Jeff Natale batted leadoff. Ochoa batted second. Guzman batted ninth. This is what happens when you've lost 10 games in a row.
2. I didn't even mention the Rochester starting pitcher. Dude, I have things to do!
3. McAnulty and Carter did not have any hits.
4. Paul McAnulty actually tried to steal a base. He didn't quite make it.
5. Ron Johnson said "What a game." I admire his restraint.
6. Enrique Gonzalez is leading the team in innings pitched. He is durable. And lovable.

Pawtucket's back home tonight. The Clippers are here, too, and they're the Indians minor league team. They're so cute, you really should meet them. Especially Jordan Brown.


Good thing Clay Buchholz is pitching for team that scores runs.


bedtime snap:Chris Carter comes home, 2007

Red Sox @ Red Wings (game 1)

5-0 Red Wings!

Your snazzily dressed Red Wings starter was righty Jeff Manship! Manship kept the Pawtucket kids down through six innings, walking three but keeping them to one hit. Rob Delaney, whose roster photo you really should see, kept the wolves at bay in the seventh inning for the shut-out.

Kris Johnson gave up all the runs and the hits and everything. TJ Large got the final two outs, but I suppose it was just busywork. Johnson did manage to pick off Matt Macri, so he's got that to console him as he tries to go to bed early.

two things:
1. Designated hitter Justin Huber hit a home run.
2. Rochester only had a 1-0 lead until the sixth inning. That's when Johnson blew it all over the place. He was probably starting to feel pretty good about himself, too. Maybe he was dogging the offense in his mind. Tis a fickle wind that blows through Frontier Field.
3. Only Bates and Bell got hits. Two little wimpy singles. Pawtucket is hopeless at this point.

Tomorrow! Game's at eleven a.m. or something. Good thing baseball players like to hunker down in their hotel rooms and fall asleep before midnight!


Pawtucket @ Rochester (game 2)

Rochester wins el segundo, 6-1.

Charlie Zink continues to struggle. Zink got his first two batters of the game out, but then the same old shit started going down. Jose Morales singles, Zink hits Huber with a pitch, wild pitch, etc. No one scored, though, in the first inning.

Zink's second inning was catastrophic. David Winfree led things off with a single, then Zink walked Dustin Martin (who?). Zink got Macri to line out, but then Brock Peterson hit an RBI single to give the Red Wings the lead.

Zink got the second out when Tommy Watkins popped up to Natale, but then single single walk single and suddenly Rochester is up 5-0 and Hunter Jones has to come in and take over. Jones got the next batter out.

Pawtucket got its only run in the third inning, thanks to an Angel Chavez RBI double. The bases were loaded for Carter in the third, but he grounded out. It's okay... you can't just rely on one person for the clutch offense.

Rochester starter Armando Gabino pitched four innings, giving up three hits and two walks and striking out four. The win went to righty reliever Juan Morillo.

orts n sorts:
1. Marcus McBeth pitched very well in the last couple of innings, not allowing any hits or walks.
2. Bubba Bell made a throwing error.

The Pawtucket Red Sox are god-awful right now. I don't even know what to say.


peace out.

Travis Denker Essential Tracks

I came across this quote on the internet: "The Giants were disappointed in the performance of Travis Denker, he was clearly overmatched during his time in San Francisco and didn't endear himself to the organization or to his teammates with his attitude." This was according to Giants news blogger Andrew Baggarly.

Many fans were mystified when the Giants put Denker on waivers in the 2008 off-season. His stats and potential were not bad... what the hell was the deal? Was Denker that much of a pain in the ass? The Padres wound up picking him up.

"Being in 30-degree weather every day doesn't help," Denker said, referring to his Connecticut stint. "I really didn't feel like hitting when I was there." Bold statement, but cut-worthy?

"we will make a copy of the list in case something happens to the first list"
1. TRAVIS DENKER IS NOT FAT! He also does not work out with C. Carter.
2. The Red Sox picked up Denker this past April after the Padres DFA'd him.
3. Denker began his baseball life as a Dodgers baby.
4. But the Giants got him in a 2007 trade for Mark Sweeney.
5. In 2005, Denker was the Sally League's all-star second baseman.
6. Just read this. It's pretty thorough.
7. Travis Denker ripped it up during the single-A San Jose Giants post-season.
8. Denker made national television with a triple play he participated in while on the triple-A Fresno Grizzlies.
9. Ron Johnson is more than happy to tell Denker he sucks.
10. Tangential, but also really funny: "Travis Denker is a quality second baseman for a Red Sox minor league affiliate right now, but we're told he has a bright future."
11. Denker has seen major league playing time with the Giants.
12. Denker is not as much a utility infielder as he is a guy that can play second base.
13. Denker was once part of a skateboarding tour with sponsors and everything.

late nite snap: Angel Chavez and RJ in Norfolk.


7.20.09 = Red(Sox+Wings) - d

Rochester WINS! 12-5

Yohan Pino got the start for Rochester. Pino pitched five innings and gave up three runs, all coming by way of the long ball (Carter with a runner on, Carter solo.)

Innings six and seven belonged to right-handed reliever Jesse Crain. Crain only allowed one hit while striking out three Red Sox players.

Top of the ninth: Reliever Tim Lahey stays in the game to face Bates, Brown, and Bell. Bates and Brown greet Lahey with back-to-back singles, but Bubba Bellhorn strikes out looking.

With one out and runners at first and second, third (yup) baseman Travis Denker steps in and doubles... Bates and Brown haul ass and both runners cross home plate.

But that was all, of course. I mean, Freddy Guzman singled, but nothing else really happened. Is Travis Denker the offensive stud in Pawtucket? Is that where we're at?

The Red Wings got crunk up in the infield with their cheap hits. I suppose the bumbling Pawtucket defense didn't help anything. Travis Denker usually plays second base, but tonight he filled in for fielding Einstein Angel Chavez and honored his legacy by committing three errors. And Rochester didn't really have that One Big Inning... their runs were scattered here and scattered there/bits of runs scattered everywhere. Five of Billy Traber's seven runs were earned. Rocky Cherry gave up two more runs and Vaquedano gave up three. Vaquedano has been struggling lately.

Jason Pridie, who I'm pretty sure weighs 142 lbs, had 5 RBI for Rochester. PIMP. Second baseman Matt Tolbert hit a triple off Rocky Cherry.

So five of Billy Traber's seven runs were earned. Rocky Cherry gave up two more runs and Vaquedano gave up three. Vaquedano has been struggling lately.

better shave her a little closer:
1. Billy Traber starting again? What the French? Can't they start bringing some Portland kids up and getting rid of Pawtucket people? Isn't the season a wash anyway?
2. Good work, Chris Carter.
3. Pawtucket had five errors... Velazquez and Guzman made the other two.
4. Dave Winfree has a weird tattoo on the back of his neck that I cannot stop looking at when I see him play. It sort of looks like a surfboard or a tiki idol? WHAT IS IT?!
5. Winfree homered along with Justin Huber.
6. It was starter Yohan Pino's first start in triple-A.

Tomorrow! Kris Johnson v Jeff Manship. Oh my god, I can't wait.

Baby Chris Carter is in the red.

"Man, I wish people would stop asking me about my local girlfriend. It's starting to annoy the piss out of me!

Like my wind pants? Nautica!"

noonish snap: Mike Lowell in Buffalo, trying.


Currently, there are three colors represented at McCoy Stadium: The blue seats, the red seats, and the green seats.

The blue seats are the cheap seats, general admission. First come, first serve for six dollars. Or you can go hit up the outfield and chill on the berm and throw quarters at the relievers.

The red and green seats are box. The green seats are closer to the field and more desirable. But for ten dollars, you can sit up front in green or in the middle in red.

I'm pretty sure that soon enough the green seats are going to cost more money. Possibly as soon as 2010.

7.18.09 My Night Behind the Sawhorses

I think it was Thursday when I saw Ian Snell pitch and I got a real bee in my bonnet about it. For some reason I felt like I HAD to see him before he left... so I decided to get behind the sawhorses.

When the players exit McCoy Stadium, they leave through the doors at home plate. There are sawhorses there, and the kids looking for autographs must stay behind them. Most of these people are hardcore - binders and bats and balls, the same people every night.

You might think these guys are hustlers, dealers, whatever. You might be wrong. Many of these people just collect autographs the way some people collect stamps or seaglass. At worst, they're oddballs and misfits, but they know that and are proud of it.

There's a very small minority of people that are making $$$. Some of the players... a lot on the visiting teams, too... and certain security members are in on this. I am not sure how it works, exactly, but it's some weird, complicated scheme.

So anyway, I happen to be good friends with one of these people. He was my 'in'. Last Saturday night, my friend had gotten tickets from Ivan Ochoa. I snuck into the park (bad, I know, but I almost never do it and BESIDES THEY OWE ME!!!) and found him in the Ochoa seats.

Post-game, we headed down to the sawhorses. And waited. I hung back and watched it all go down. These people already know who's signing, how many per person, who's gonna blow them off, who's an asshole, who's a good guy, who signs like crap, what kind of cars they drive... yup. Borrowing blue or silver Sharpies or blue pens (this stuff is really important).

I made small talk with some of the folks. One guy was trying to give me pointers, even thought I told him that autographs weren't really my thing. One guy kept saying that they should let Marcus McBeth pitch for six innings (????). This same guy started talking to Fernando Cabrera in crappy street Spanish about how they 'should have kept him in'. Cabrera, to his credit, did not respond to these heated comments. I'm sure Fernando also appreciated the whole 'mi pana' thing.

Note to self: Speaking Spanish to Latin players is shit currency. It will not win them over.

So finally Ian Snell and his giant headphones made an appearance. He signed my scorecard from the night he pitched and my friend took a snap of me and Snell. That's pretty much all I wanted.

I also got my picture taken with Fernando Cabrera. Yes, I went there. I felt so cheap! But now I never have to go back. I do not know how the 'graphers' handle the derision and rejection, the pleading for autographs... I just couldn't do it. Someone handed me cards for Tom Gorzelanny to sign and he smacked. Me. Up. I only wish I'd thought of a snappy comeback, such as "THANKS FOR SIGNING THESE CARDS, MISTER GORZELANNY! I CAN FINALLY RETIRE NOW!"

If you're going to be such a miserable prick about signing, why do it at all? Why do it and act like a jackass? Just say, sorry, I can't.

1. Lastings Milledge was a hot commodity. He's a superstar, man, why's he still up in Pawtucket?
2. Fernando Cabrera is generally considered to be the nicest and most accommodating signer.
3. Ian Snell is not 5'11". He may not even be 5'9".
4. Shelby Ford was really very nice.

I'm through. See you in August.

7.19.09 - Pawtucket's Minor Miracle

Pawtucket finally WINS! 3-2

Michael Bowden should be duly proud of his start. Bowden pitched five hitless innings. 73 pitches and that was his night.

New (ish) reliever TJ Large had another scoreless, hitless inning... Javier Lopez kept it going into the ninth. Fernando Cabrera came in for the last two outs and gave up a single to Larry Broadway, spoiling the no-hitter.

Things got worse when Tagg Bozied followed that up with a home run, but no more runs after that and who really cares? Pawtucket finally won.

I saw Cabrera blow a hold the other night (no, that is not code) and he was very angry about it. He seems so mild-mannered!

I think I should take Sundays off from now on. I also think maybe I don't need to physically be at the park anymore.

What do you think?

she is getting fat! her belly's got a lump in it!
1. Many media kids have been saying that TJ Large is making his Pawtucket debut this year. WRONG. Have I mentioned this already? I think I have. I have to admit, I like it when I'm right and the newspaper is wrong.
2. Catcher Mark Wagner had a fine, fine afternoon with his two RBI.
3. Ivan Ochoa was hit by pitches twice.
4. Ten thousand people at the park? DUDE.

I should have written about Saturday's game but it feels like old news at this point.


afternoon snap: Lowrie in Norfolk


Recently I had the chance to catch up with Pirates starter Ian Snell. Here's what he had to say!

BH: How was the WBC?
IS: Fun.

Best of luck in '09, Ian!


what a guy.

Today I overheard Clay Buchholz on the radio talking about his start in Toronto. And he said it was fun to pitch for a team that scores runs.

Pawtucket does not score runs. Clearly he was taking a shot at the Pawtucket hitters. The guys that are his defense, scooping up his grounders and turning two and running over to foul territory to catch an errant pop-up. Dusty Brown, how do you feel about that?

Real classy, you fucking hillbilly. I'm sure your friends in Pawtucket really appreciated your public insult.


Triple-A All-Star Game

The ballpark in Portland where the AAA All-Star game was held creeped me out quite a bit.

The way the park was set up with the high walls made the field look like it was in a deep, dark pit. And it's a park built in the 20's but it has artificial turf?

I'm going to have bad dreams about that park, but I would still like to go see it.

Good work, International League and especially Eric Kratz.

aM snap: Lincoln Holdzkom

7.17.09 Red Sox v Indians

Indianapolis WINS! 7-3. What can you do but laugh at this point?

Charlie Zink, in 4 2/3 innings, walked seven batters. Four of those walks were batters being hit by pitches. I would feel bad for Zink, but I have stitches in my mouth and can eat only limited amounts of mushy things. He should feel bad for me!

Zink gave up four runs, by the way. And the bullpen's been slipping a little since right before the ASB. And now Clay Buchholz is gone. Things are gonna get real ugly, real fast at McCoy. Don't listen to what Chris Carter says.

Other tough kids out of the bullpen: Vaquedano pitched 2/3 of an inning and gave up a pair of walks! A pair of hits! A pair of runs! And a pair of pants! Billy Traber did well, so skip him and go to Rocky Cherry, who gave up three walks and three hits in 1 1/3 innings. Cherry gave up a run, but the game was pretty much over at that point anyway.

Javier Lopez pitched the rest of the game and did as well as could be expected.

Gorzelanny! Gorzelanny had six K's in six innings. Gorzelanny held Pawtucket to one run and no further runs were scored. Until...

... Until the bottom of the ninth. Steven Jackson is the new pitcher for Indianapolis. Travis Denker, who homered back in the fourth, leads off the inning with a single. Denker then casually moves over to second base while Bubba bell stands at home with a bat in his hand, trying to look tough. And Bubba Bell singles!

Then guess who comes in to pinch hit for Gil Velazquez? Aaron Bates! No suh! And all he does is hit a sac fly to center to get Denker home. Whoooo, I'll bet the Indians were shaking!

Third baseman Angel Chavez is next but he grounds out. At least he moved Bell over. And then the greatest thing happened: Carlos Freaking Maldonado, fresh off the DL, comes in to pinch hit for Freddy Guzman. NO. WAY. And of course Maldonado comes through and singles home Bubba Bell. And then Ivan Ochoa hit a single! TEAM VZ!!

And that was about it. The PawSox are just messing with you in these ninth innings. Come on. Did you really think they were going to come back from 7-1 in the ninth inning?

two things:
1. I wanted to go to bed really bad, but instead I took care of this business.
2. Lastings Milledge went 3-4 with 2 RBI. He is a star, of course.
3. Mark Wagner allowed two stolen bases BUT he also nailed a pair of base stealers.
4. Charlie Zink is currently in first place in the International League for walks allowed. He's walked 65 dudes. Durham's James Houser is in second place with 46. Holy crap.
5. Zink also leads the IL in hit batsmen with 20. He's number one with a bullet, since the guy in second has only 8. Holier crap.
6. Carlos Maldonado is exciting, but maybe only to me. And his mom, I guess. I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU, MRS. MALDONADO!!
7. Good game, Travis Denker. Now trim those sideburns!

Tomorrow! Enrique Gonzalez v Indians righty Brad Lincoln. I'm popping in because I need to rap with Ian Snell about some things.



pm snap: Unknown PawSox player.

7.16.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Indianapolis Indians

9-5 Indianapolis. This game was excruciatingly bad PawSox baseball. The best part of the game was Ian Snell pitching.

Indy starter and handsome man Ian Snell went 6 1/3 innings and got the win. Snell walked five guys but he only gave up two hits and one run. This is because of the intense focus on plate discipline. Theo Epstein called RJ and made him tell the PawSox to never swing at anything, ever.

Dude, Mike Koplove will never die. Kop came in to relieve Snell was pretty handy for an inning and a third, keeping the lead intact with no runs or hits.

Righty reliever and gadabout Chris Bootcheck came in for the ninth inning with a 9-1 lead. He immediately gave up back-to-back doubles to Mark Wagner and Bubba Bell. WHAT. Pawtucket hadn't scored since the fourth inning and now this? Jeff Natale then singled. WHAT, again. Then Travis Denker hit a double! Bootcheck must have been drunk or something.

Bootcheck was rightfully yanked in favor of Denny Bautista. Angel Chavez then hit an RBI single. Freddy Guzman struck out, Jerk Lowrie hit a sac fly to center to score the fourth run of the inning. I'll bet the crowd was really into it at this point.

Bautista finally got McAnulty to ground out to end the inning. What a weird flurry of hits. I was at this game but I left because it was way too pathetic. I might have to start rooting for the visiting teams.

The Red Sox are now 8 1/2 games back. Yup.

1. Kris Johnson started for Pawtucket and it was painful and degrading. Johnson was giving up extra base hits from the get-go. Eleven hits in five innings. But only four runs?
2. Johnson only gave up four runs in spite of pitching like Abe Alvarez or something. This is partly because Angel Chavez bailed his ass out more than once. Chavez will knock you out with his fielding ability... it's a highlight reel every night with this guy.
3. Johnson's been flirting with failure all year, and it finally culminated with this game. He should probably visit the DL soon.
4. Pawtucket is DFL in the IL with only 668 hits. They are THIRD in the league for walks (329). That's like a 50% ratio. Meanwhile, the league leader in hits (Columbus Clippers), has 859 hits versus 272 walks! That's like a 1/3 ratio.
5. AND Columbus is in first place for slugging and OBP and batting average. Their pitching must suck, though, because they are last in their division. But damn, the Cleveland Indians are stacked, slugger-wise.
6. In summation, shut up, Theo Epstein.
7. Hey, Kris Johnson: Take a day trip to Portland and take a good, hard look at Kason Gabbard. Do you want to end up like that?
8. Freddy Guzman is doing his job, but he's constantly left dangling on second base after a steal. Come on, guys. Come on.
9. TJ Large made his first relief appearance in Pawtucket this year. Large was in Pawtucket 2-3 years ago. What the hell's he been doing?
10. Oh, wow: Many Pirates fans think Ian Snell is a whiny brat who can't pitch and tells lies. Well, that could wind up being the Yankees' problem, son.

Special Note: Where has Ian Snell been all my life? A pitcher from Dover, Delaware? I was looking up some stuff on this kid and his WBC story's pretty cool. It's rare to hear about a baseball player that's not one-dimensional. He is officially my Favourite.

Tonight! Knuckleball flameout Charlie Zink v Tom Gorzelanny. Yikes. Gorzelanny sez: "My prediction? PAIN."


That was HIM?!

Do you remember last year when some reliever on the Orioles got in big trouble for "rudely" flipping the ball to manager Dave Trembley when he was being taken out?

That was our very own Fernando Cabrera! Wow!

See, what had happened was... Cabrera was pitching to Tampa Bay and he gave up back-to-back homers. One of them was a Ben Zobrist grand slam that maybe coulda been caught by the outfielder.

The manager comes to take him out and... flip... OUT! The very naughty Cabrera apologized and was disciplined and fined.

But the story doesn't end there. Cabrera was released a few days later, I guess mostly because he was pitching like crap (because the Orioles NEVER hang on to struggling pitchers). Trembley had this to say: "I think you always make evaluations based on performance first. Not everybody here is a milkshake drinker. They're not all guys that you'd want to bring home and introduce to your daughters. You understand that. But performance is the bottom line. I didn't see Fernando Cabrera fitting in on this club next year. I think we can do better. I told him I appreciated what he did, but I didn't see him making this club coming out of spring training. I think there is no substitute at any time for respect and integrity."

He's a rebel and he'll never, ever be any good. I wonder if Cabrera and Rocky Cherry and Randor Bierd ever get together and reminisce about Baltimore?

aM snap: Buchholz, Gabbard, Pauley '07


afternoon snap: Juan Miranda

2009 Pawtucket Red Sox Uniform Numbers

2 - Gil Velazquez, Smartass Infielder.

3 - Sean Danielson, outfield. Small Man with Big Arm.

5 - Chris Carter, hitter.

5 - Rocco Baldelli, rehabbing outfielder. I love Rocco Baldelli, but I think asking Chris Carter for his uniform number during MINOR LEAGUE REHAB is tacky. I hope he gave Carter a 'gift'. When I say 'gift', I might mean money or I might mean something more sinister and/or dirty.

7 - Jeff Bailey, competent first base/left field type. Will probably outlive all of us.

10 - Jeff Natale, power threat from either side of the plate. Or puckish infielder who'll take one for the team.

11 - Jeff Corsaletti - Heterosexual outfielder who was not really good at anything. I loved him in Portland but he was not fun to be around at McCoy Stadium. He's gone now.

11 - John Otness, catcher. He wears the ones better.

11 - Mark Wagner, current catcher.

12 - Ivan Ochoa, shortstop type. One of three numbers Ochoa's worn this year. I don't want to demean or belittle Ochoa, but he is freaking adorable.

12 - Jed Lowrie, rehabbing shortstop. Has forgotten his roots as well.

13 - Rich Sauveur, pitching coach.

15 - Dusty Brown, catcher. I have nothing bad to say about Brown. I might not even have anything good to say about Brown. In baseball, this means he's an asset to the team.

16 - Charlie Zink, starting pitcher.

17 - Jonathan Van Every, center field.

18 - Ivan Ochoa again. One-third of the Venezuelan Triumvirate. Had major league time with the Giants last year.

19 - Clay Buchholz, starting pitcher, superstar. We've been very lucky to have him in Pawtucket.

19 - Devern Hansack, who had better get his number back when he returns. CLAY.

20 - Jose Vaquedano, merciless right-handed reliever who brings it down low on the mound. Maybe on the dance floor, too. Vaquedano's been refrigerator material this year. He's from Honduras!

21 - Manager Ron Johnson. He's big! He's loud! He's gregarious and loquacious and charming and funny! And at times, he speaks in well-groomed company lines filtered through Texas folksiness. I love him and so do you.

22 - Angel Chavez, third base. He's a killer over there and so much fun to watch. Best third baseman I've seen in Pawtucket, including Boggs. Oh, SNAP!

23 - Iggy Suarez, infielder. Shortstop, mostly. Back in Portland being cool and from New York.

23 - Ivan Ochoa, way back in April.

24 - Iggy Suarez again. Iggers iz crazy, baby.

24 - John Otness, occasionally.

25 - Kris Johnson, lefty starter. He thinks he's gangsta.

26 - Chip Ambres, right field. Slugger. Now with Mets org.

26 - Bubba Bell, center field. Or right, whatever. I'd say his act is getting tired but maybe he's just in a bad slump.

28 - Clay Buchholz. Buchholz wore this number early in the season.

28 - Freddy Guzman, center field. Guzman is wicked fast and plays with zeal.

29 - John Smoltz, All-Star rehabber.

30 - Michael Bowden, RH starter. I had higher expectations for Bowden.

31 - Daniel Bard, former Pawtucket closer. Whatever happened to him?

32 - Chris George, lefty reliever. I hope he had fun.

33 - Zach Daeges, large right fielder. I wish he would come back soon.

33 - Aaron Bates, large first baseman. I'm not saying I'm glad Bailey got hurt, but it was so cool to see Bates get called up.

34 - Paul McAnulty, 1B/DH/LF.

35 - Rocky Cherry, dependable reliever.

36 - Travis Denker, second base. Denker wore 36 while Hunter Jones was in Boston.

36 - Hunter Jones, handsome lefty reliever. Seems to have ditched the rec-specs.

37 - Marcus McBeth, otherworldly right-handed reliever.

38 - Fernando Cabrera, dreamy closer. And he is so nice to the fans, it kills me. A very, very good boy.

39 - Travis Denker, former Giants kid.

39 - Robert Coello, reliever. Trying to come back, I think.

40 - Billy Traber, weirdo lefty reliever.

41 - Randor Bierd, hulking reliever. He's a loner but maybe not a rebel.

43 - Sandy Madera, former catcher. I loved Madera as if he were my son. SHANE, COME BACK!

45 - Russ Morman, hitting coach.

47 - Javier Lopez, former Braves catcher.

48 - Carlos Maldonado, catcher. I love him to bits. Also on Team Venezuela.

50 - Enrique Gonzalez, starter. Why not 49, Gonzalez? Gonzalez and Maldonado are practically siamese twins... you never see them not together. BOLIVAR, VZ!

There you have it. The PawSox.


7.12.09 Pawtucket and Syracuse, sittin' in a tree!

Pawtucket keeps f-a-i-l-i-n-g! They lose, 5-4. And I think someone's got a crush... the Chiefs and the Red Sox have been spending a lot of time together this summer! Whooo, sexxxy!

Righty Clay Buchholz started for Pawtucket. Buchholz was doing fairly well until about the sixth inning. He walked Mike Morse... and then made a throwing error on a pickoff attempt, which moved Morse to second. Eldred sac flied, moved Morse to third. And then like, Kory Casto singled? KORY CASTO? First of all Kory with a 'K'? Secondly, Casto was playing right field... I thought he was a third baseman or something?

Anyway, Casto gets the RBI. And Buchholz gets the hook. McBeth comes in to face Seth Bynum, and while McBeth is busy pitching to Bynum, Casto nervily steals second base. Bynum singles, runners at the corners.

And here comes mega-talented Justin Maxwell, with the brains and the brawn and making lots of money. Maxwell flies out to center, Casto comes home... Guzman hucks the ball in to second! Bynum out! Denker fires over to Velazquez at first! Maxwell out! Double play! But it's 5-2 Chiefs.

Bottom of the ninth. Still 5-2 Chiefs. Pawtucket doesn't have a chance... or does it? (Well, no.) Logan Kensing comes in to shut it down for Syracuse. And Jeff Natale comes in to pinch hit for Gil Velazquez. Kensing immediately intentionally walked the dangerous slugger to get to Angel Chavez. AH HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!! OH MY GOD, HAHAHA HAHAHA!!

I'm sorry, but that is an absolute panic. I guess RJ wanted Natale to get hit by a pitch, but instead Natale struck out swinging.

Angel Chavez was up next, and I guess he sneezed weird or something but he doubled which is really out of character. And then Freddy Guzman hit a home run! I can't believe it! (Velazquez should have probably stayed in the game but maybe he had a plane to catch.)

And finally, some sad news: Jed Lowrie struck out and Mark Wagner grounded out. Third loss in a row for the Little Bats That Couldn't. And... ALL-STAR BREAK!!! FEATURING FERNANDO CABRERA!! Jolines!

two things:
1. It was Freddy Guzman's first home run. I am embarrassed for Pawtucket and I want to apologize to Guzman for being such a lifeless team. Guzman is like fire and the other guys are like ice.
2. Cabrera's inning was all dirty with a walk and a hit and 22 pitches but he didn't allow any runs. McBeth and Javier Lopez also pitched in for scoreless relief.
3. It was front page news in the local paper when Buchholz' rims got jacked the other night. That sucks, but didn't Clay Buchholz steal laptops from a school or something back in the day? I'm just saying.
4. Congratulations to Clay Buchholz on getting called up!
5. Gil Velazquez hates playing first base! I can't believe Jeff Natale pinch hit for him. That had to be a favor to GV if I ever saw one, because Natale a pinch hitter? Come on. How dumb do you think I am?
6. Trading Buchholz +one for Halladay is so, so stupid. Even I know that.
7. Jose Vaquedano is taking Buchholz' All-Star spot. I like Vaquedano a wicked lot so I am glad for him. : ) And the funniest thing about this story is that he'd planned to go to Newport with his girlfriend during the break. Newport? What is he, your grandparents?

Enjoy your All-Star break. I have some really exciting stuff planned, like listing uniform numbers and crap. Yeah.


aM snap: Van Every, Madera

I forgot who I stole this from. The guilt is going to eat away at me until I take it down.

7.10.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons

1-0 Buffalo, in a game I saw coming a mile away.

Pawtucket righty Enrique Gonzalez got the start, went deep.. deeper than he's gone all year and gave up only one run in eight innings. What a jerk! Way to lose the game for Pawtucket in front of all the fans, Enrique!

I hope you slept well, Bubba Bell. Bell struck out with the bases loaded in the ninth inning. He is in a terrible slump! Also, kind of standing over a trap door. Bring on Josh Reddick.

Freddy Guzman once again swung at a pitch that was five feet out of the zone. This time he did not connect. Freddy Guzman is very entertaining.

Third baseman Javier Castillo got the sole RBI for Buffalo in the fourth inning. Bisons righty Tobi Stoner got the win.

I had a good time last night, in spite of the PawSox kids trying to break the record for least amount of runs scored in a season

pm snap: Chris Carter, away.


PM snap: ORF Aaron Bates

7.9.09 PawSox v Buffalo Bisons - Tater Chip!

Buffalo WINS! 3-1

First of all, this message appeared on Twitter yesterday, courtesy of the PawSox: "**REHAB UPDATE** Mets SS Jose Reyes will be playing in Pawtucket tomorrow & maybe Friday - Great seats available at pawsox.com/401-724-7300".

And so I went into frantic mode and started contacting people, thumping the redial button, blah blah. I was so excited! People were excited! My life had meaning, a purpose!

One hour later, this came up: '**REHAB UPDATE** CORRECTION ARGENIS REYES will be playing for Buffalo -'. Oh, my god. What a friggin letdown. And seriously, who the hell cares about Argenis Reyes? What's more, he didn't even play tonight!

So that was pretty funny.

William Henry Traber, lefty reliever and Tower of Dominance, got a spot start tonight and it was remarkable! Traber gave up two runs on four hits in 5 2/3 innings. He also struck out three Bison. I had no idea he was going to pitch that deep into the game, but I guess Traber is the World's Strongest Reliever. It was very exciting.

Almost as exciting as Chip Ambres? Ambres got absolutely no love from Pawtucket (shameful!). He should have gotten at least a smattering of applause, but nothing. If I could have, I would have catapulted onto the field and given him a very squishy hug, but I'm classy and mature and don't care for public displays of affection.

Ambres hit two home runs and provided all the scoring for Buffalo. I can't even get too angry about that. Chip Ambres is the man and a way better outfielder than Bubba Bell.

But what about Bisons starter Nelson Figueroa? All I can say is 'WOW'! Beloved New Yorker Figueroa pitched eight dazzling innings, with nine strikeouts and only one walk. Welcome to Nellyville!

Pawtucket blew its wad in the first inning, with hotshot Freddy Guzman grabbing hold of the reins. Guzman led off with a single, stole second, scrambled over to third on a Jed Lowrie flyout, and then dashed home on McAnulty's flyout to center. There were a few other baserunners, but you know how that goes.

Hunter Jones had a solid ninth. I like it when he doesn't get fancy. A man of his carriage should pitch from his nuts, not like Casey Fossum or something.

two things:
1. I have a feeling Freddy Guzman would rather play for a team that hits. He's a runner. I'll bet he misses the Mud Hens.
2. The guy who closed for Buffalo, Brandon Knight, did a good job.
3. Bubba Bell made a glamorous diving catch in the third inning. Wooo. WHEN IS DANIELSON COMING BACK? EVER?!
4. Guzman singled a second time in the third inning. It was a crazy hit! The ball was totally out of the zone but he chased it and knocked it in there.

Pretty routine loss. Tomorrow! Enrique Gonzalez coming off the DL to face Tobi Stoner. I may go.

Mister Lopez Risin'

Javier Lopez arrived in Pawtucket right about May 15th. His May ERA was 9.53 through six appearances.

On June 9th, Lopez went on the DL. He was activated on the 20th. His June ERA was 1.69 through six appearances.

Lopez has made two relief appearances in July and has not allowed a run. In many ways, it appears he's putting it together.

Lopez is one of three lefties in Pawtucket's bullpen: See, there's Hunter Jones and Billy Traber, too. Unless someone's injured, though... yeah. It doesn't look good.

Pawtucket fans seem to like Javier Lopez and dislike Billy Traber. And I know why: Lopez is a more conventional nice guy who'll sign autographs (and will probably tell you he's never seen that card before, I guess that's his shtick) whereas Traber almost never talks to the fans, much less sign autographs. And Traber is almost sadistic about it: His glee is palpable and deliciously evil.

I kind of admire that about Billy Traber. But, damn, Poster Night's right around the corner and it's gonna kill him, I swear.

In summation, Javier "Lurch" Lopez is an old-school Pawtucket kid and I like him a lot. Until he screws up.

I wonder if he gets Atlanta's Javi Lopez' mail? "A summons?! What the?!"


Is Shelley Duncan 'Wendell' from the Simpsons?

7.8.09 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs

12-0 Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs.

Lefty Kris Johnson gave up five runs, Vaquedano gave up four, Cherry gave up three. Javier Lopez came out smelling like a rose with his one scoreless inning.

Andrew "Drew" Carpenter was the killer pitcher for the Iron Pigs. Seven two-hit innings with nine strikeouts! What a bad-ass.

Pawtucket's massive offensive power was led by Bubba Bell's double in the fifth inning. Travis Denker is the only other dude to get a hit. Denker got two hits, specifically.

Pigs' catcher Lou Marson went 3-4 with three RBI. Wait, who?

1. Although the Iron Pigs were scheduled to go play the Scrankees in their park, that is not happening. Scranton/Wilkes-Barre is coming to Lehigh Valley due to ongoing problems with their field conditions. This is clearly the IL story of the year. What a bunch of bullcrap.
2. Ron Johnson sez: "It smelled like a sewer." Like a sewer filled with hot dogs?
3. IL president Randy Mobley is probably SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. I mean, you saw how pissed he was with Richmond and their failure to keep the Braves franchise.
4. Mobley says: “We’re putting some communication mechanisms in place to avoid situations when you have two teams sitting around all weekend not playing baseball. The events of (last) weekend led to some lengthy discussions between Kristen Rose and myself. No one is happy with the situation.”
5. Oh, and then! SWB will be playing their scheduled home games against Buffalo in Syracuse. AHAHAHAHHHAAA!!!

Someone should lure Shelley Duncan out to right field and mush him down deep into the quagmire. Maybe 2-3 people, really, because he's so big and ugly. And then he would emerge as SWAMP THING!!!