6.29.2011 Kyle Weiland Fire Oil

PawSox WIN! 4-1. Could this have been the greatest game I have ever attended at McCoy Stadium? And did I perhaps see this coming as long ago as Mother's Day 2010?

It was evident very early on that Weiland was gonna burn it fucking down to a cinder. Blasting K's like picking daisies. And hitting batters, although Dustin Martin, come on. It was barely a jersey-ruffler. But I must be honest - I was thinking no-no as early as the second inning. And I got really excited, natch. I have never seen one in person. Closest I came was Chris Young in San Diego, two outs to go. Because I went to San Diego. Because I won a major award.

Kyle Weiland pitched 8 innings, throwing a paltry 99 pitches. One hit, one unearned run. Twelve (12) strikeouts. What a remarkable performance. And on such a perfect, lovely evening. In the sixth inning, Weiland led it off by hitting catcher Danny Lehmann for the second time. CF Brandon Roberts attempted to bunt, but was called out on interference. Roberts was not happy about it. Trevor Plouffe flied out to center for the second out. Everything was very exciting at that point. Dustin Martin batted next, and Lehmann made it to second on a passed ball. Martin singled, Lehmann scored. Everybody applauded the conclusion of the hitlessness, much to my surprise. I didn't think most of the crowd knew what was going on.

But what about Rochester starter Eric Hacker? Hacker put in 5 2/3 innings. The Red Sox kept getting little hits off him (eight all told), but only managed two runs. This was primarily Lars Anderson's fault, as he came up four times with runners on and made the last out. His frustration was evident in the way he yanked off his gloves and tossed his batting helmet. REAL MATURE, ANDERSON.

Pawtucket scored first in the fourth, when Luna led off with a single and stole second. Then with two outs, Exposito singled... Tried to get to second, but was tagged out. Luna made it home safely, though, so it was 1-0 Red Sox.

Hector Luna was also a baseball genius in the sixth, when he led off with a solo home run. His pals behind me were delighted. Hacker got the next two guys out, but then reliever Carlos Gutierrez got called in. Gutierrez could not get anyone out. He walked Exposito, gave up a single to Iglesias, walked Lin, and then walked Daniel Nava to bring home Exposito. Gutierrez then hit Lavarnway with a pitch... I think warnings were issued, although why would you even do that of it was going to get a run across. The whole thing was hard to watch.

Gutierrez was replaced by Jim Hoey, world's tallest Rochester Red Wing. Hoey got Anderson to line out to short. 4-1? 4-1.

Michael Bowden pitched the ninth, put a couple of runners on, made me uncomfortable. Total regression for Bowden. I really had my doubts as to whether he could get the last out. Or maybe just held up against Weiland's supernova start he looked like dogmeat.

Good Valentine's.

come on dudes let's get it on:
1. I nearly always sit on the third base side. Last night, I mixed it up and switched over to third. I really recommend this to McCoy regulars. Now I know what the right-handed pitchers look like.
2. But in the second inning, Hector Luna's bat came flying toward me. It was terrifying. hit the edge of the section next to me, which is not wicked close, but still.
3. Danny Nevada's continuing to tear the hotel down. 2-3 with a double and an RBI last night.
4. Hector Luna's second consecutive game with a home run is not a sentence. I love that guy, I do.
5. This story is barely relevant, but it made me laugh. Thank you, Matt Goisman. It's about the PawSox locker room and early forays into sports reporting.
6. Trevor Plouffe is really, really, really ridiculously good-looking. The ladies must love him. Not me, though. I'm above all that. I'm very serious. I have many laminated certificates and important documents.

TONIGHT!!!! Matt Fox, Kyle Gibson. Cool, I should go. But right now it's AREPA TIME in Pawtucket!

Buen provecho!


6.28.2011 A clown's nose. A matador's cape. Luftballoons. Sox and Wings.

Pawtucket WINS! 8-6. Don't crow too loudly, though, because Rochester is not Scranton Wilkes-Barre.

Hey, look, Kevin Millwood is on the PawSox. This never gets less bizarre. Who's next, Paul Lo Duca? Mark Ellis? Enrique Wilson? Oh, wait...

Mill the Thrill pitched four innings and seriously, it wasn't impressive. He gave up six runs on nine hits, including a home run by Trevor Plouffe. TREVOR PLOUFFE IS STILL IN ROCHESTER? Oh, Trevor. Millwood had six strikeouts, though, so... Trevor Plouffe's high school was Crespi Carmelite? Sounds like a British candy bar.

Andrew Baldwin only outperformed Millwood in one one aspect: He pitched six innings to Millwood's four. Also, he outperformed him in bed. I heard, I don't know. Some people were talking about it at the gas station. Okay, so Baldwin got one extra K. Ooooh, take that, Millwood. Baldwin gave up two home runs! Sure one was Hector Luna's joint, but Brent Dlugach? Skinny boy infielder?

Millwood's most painful and degrading inning was the second, when he gave up five runs to the Red Wings. Shortstop Steve Singleton tripled with one out. So hot, Steve. Catcher Jair Fernandez followed it up with a double, Singleton scores. Toby Gardenhire singled and made it to third on some Nate Spears error. Fernandez scores. CF Brandon Roberts, sac fly. Gardenhire scores. Plouffe walks, Dustin Martin doubles. Roberts scores. God, if I'd been there I would have been disgusted. Or I would try to be amused.

Hey, look, it's Adam Bates! Aaron, whatever. Maybe I'll just call him 'Master', like I did when he was a Pawtucket kid. Bates singled, scoring Dustin Martin. Millwood finally buckled down and got Brian Dinkelman to ground out, but 5-0 is pretty unattractive in the second inning. TIME TO GO TO WORK, RED SOX.

But first the Red Wings scored a sixth run in the fourth inning, when Trevor Plouffe hit a solo home run to lead it off. Not only does he make killer meat pies, but he hits bombs? I am going to call him and then hang up when he answers!

Bottom of the fourth is when things started looking up for Pawtucket. Lin Che Hsuan led off with a double, Nava singled. Lavarnway singled, scoring Lin. Anderson singled, Nava scored. Baldwin got a couple of outs with Luna and Spears, but Dlugach hit a 2-run single! Like I always said, Dlugach brings to mind, say, a 1999 Joe Randa.

So after four it was 6-4 Rochester. By the way, Rochester is allegedly a nasty, deteriorating city. And I know from deteriorating cities, because I live in one, just a few blocks from the maximum security prison! They fired all the high school teachers, they're closing the library and the rec center, and Pawtucket does not want us. That being said, I think Rochester is a-okay, and the ballpark is great.

Hector Luna homered in the bottom of the sixth to bring things up to 6-5. And then Dlugach's homer in the top of the seventh, which resulted in Baldwin being replaced by Cole DeVries, who is absolutely adorable in his roster photo with his little glasses and cutie-pie smile. Outside of that, nothing to write home about. Maybe he used a stand-in for that snapshot. DeVries got a couple of outs, but gave up a single to Lin and a double to Nava to give Pawtucket the 7-6 lead. Some people are heating up nicely this month, wouldn't you say?

One last thing! (Long way down.) An eighth run. DeVries still pitching. Anderson and Luna lead the eighth inning off with singles. Matt Sheely (bless him) sac bunted, then DeVries IBB'd Dlugach, which I'm assuming was rather flattering for the little guy. Luis Exposito, doing a rare useful thing with a bat, hit a sacrifice fly, scoring Anderson. There you go. Randy Williams shut it down in the ninth and walked through the silent town.

That was nuts! My heart goes out to Rochester and their struggles.

two things:
1. Brent Dlugach, three RBI last night. Savor it, for it will not soon come again.
2. WTF is this Red Wings jersey that Joe Nathan is wearing?
3. Millwood's gonna stick around in Pawtucket. Unless Pawtucket annexes CF, which Millwood's vehemently opposed to. Still, he came to PawSox bowling, which is a pretty slick move. He's tight with Duckworth and Randy Williams, I think.
4. Yeah, I was there. And I was knocking down pins like a mofo. TAKE THAT, PAWS!! If I bowled against everyone in the Pawtucket infield, I would crush them all. Or my name's not Dylan Axelrod!
5. Aaron Bates is a better player as a Red Wing, I guess. Can we say something like, Lars Anderson is essentially a left-handed Aaron Bates? What I am saying is that I hope Anderson's developed a taste for coffee milk and the Atlantic Ocean. How much do you want to bet that Anderson starts 2012 with Pawtucket? HOW MUCH?
6. Nate Spears left the game. Let me see if I can find out why.
7. Nope. Nothing.

TONIGHT! I think I'll go to the park! Kyle Weiland v Eric Hacker. Weiland again? Maybe I'll just stay home.


6.27.11 Holy crap, it's June 28th.

4-1 PawSox. Tony Pena gets the start and the win. Let me find out about Duckworth. Hmm.. Okay, Duckworth was scratched and is on the DL. Strained oblique.

As you can see, Pena only gave up one run. It was a solo homer to John Bowker, who wound up going 3-4 last night. Designated hitter Corey Wimberly also got Pena for a triple, which obviously proved to be harmless.

Indians starter Justin Wilson pitched six innings. Pawtucket scored four runs on four hits with Wilson out there. Nate Spears homered after Hector Luna walked in the second inning. In the fourth inning, Matt Sheely singled with the bases loaded, bringing in a pair of runs.

Hideki Okajima and Blake Maxwell had identical lines, both pitching two innings. Kept those nasty Indians from scoring. The Indians... Also used relief pitching.

That's really all.


6.26.11 Indianapolis yanks on the spine of god.

7-5 Indians. I don't remember Sean Gallagher being scheduled to pitch. My bad. I have not heard of Sean Gallagher, but evidently he is one of those horrible Boston people.

Felix Doubront, still in our hearts and making his way back, pitched six innings! 90 pitches! 60 for strikes! It was probably Doubront's worst outing this season, though, as he gave up six runs, including a home run by left fielder John Bowker.

Indianapolis countered not with Justin Wilson, but with the aforementioned Gallagher. Gallagher, a righty, pitched his way into the fourth inning, got a couple of outs, then walked Hector Luna and Lavarnway. Travelin' Man Steven Jackson took over and got the last out.

Pawtucket did not score until the sixth inning. They were down 6-0 up until that point, but Lavarnway hit an RBI single off Jackson. A two-run single by Lars Anderson brought the score to 6-3 in the seventh inning.

Hey, look, Bowden's back! BOWDIE!!! Bowden took over in the seventh inning and showed signs of rust? I don't know, did he get much work with Boston? Like I said before, when players get called up they may as well be in another dimension for me. Bowden didn't throw too good, is what I'm saying. First baseman Matt Hague (No one good is named 'Matt' in the IL) doubled with one out. Josh Harrison, the third base operator, followed it up with a single. And then the other Josh, Josh Reddick? No, I think it was Josh Hamilton. Whatever, Josh doubled and a run scored.

Batting next: Right fielder Miles Durham, not sure where he came from. Durham reached on a fielder's choice. Bowden threw Harrison out at home. Nice job, Bowden. Bowden followed up his nice play by hitting Kris Watts with a pitch... Okay, wait just a minute, Indianapolis. Neither Watts nor Durham have been in the lineup until today.

Wait! Wait! It was a day game! Okay, makes sense. Kris Watts was subbing in for Wyatt Toregas, who left the game in the second inning. My point is this: Bowden got Hernandez out to end the inning. That would be Captain Dwayne Hernandez to you.

RBIs by Iglesias and Lin gave Pawtucket another couple of runs, but if you noticed up top the final score was 7-5. I'm sure those runs look good on a resume, which is what most of these guys are playing for. RESUME BUILDING RBIS!!!!

Steven Jackson gets the win. This automatically made him better looking, but it didn't do much for his post-game stank.

folks said he was a mean and vicious man:
1. Apparent leg injury for Wyatt Toregas. I read it here. And again with the 'Pawtuckett'.
2. Hey, good story Scott McCauley! Explains a little about the Kris Watts thing.
3. Ryan Lavarnway is wrecking it. There are few things more exciting than a fresh little Portland call-up continuing to excel at the next level. No adjustment period, just BAT all day. Like Kalish did.
4. More on Pittsburgh catching with the always terrific Jenifer Langosch.
5. Iglesias went 3-4 with a double.

"THE RED SOX ARE SUPPOSED TO BEAT TEAMS LIKE PITTSBURGH!!!1!" - Please try to be a little less stupid, fans. Pittsburgh's much improved this year. I saw all their cool kidz with Indianapolis. It happens.

Tonight! More future Pirates. Brandon Duckworth and Justin Wilson, for real this time. Unless something catastrophic happens.

I love you.


The 26th of June in Indianapolis with clouds '11

Matt Hague hit a home run. Ryan Lavarnway hit a home run.

Franklin Morales pitched a scoreless inning, treads waters of relevance.

The win went to Jose Ascanio, mysterious Venezuelan reliever, son and lover.

Jason Rice only pitched one inning less than the starter, Matt Fox. Four K's to keep close to his heart last night.

Garrett Olson's first inning was shaky. Thirty-nine pitches. Back-to-back singles to left field, right away. Daniel Nava did not strike out, but walked. Bases loaded, no one out, Hector Luna is handy, RBI single. Force out, sac fly, 3-0 Pawtucket.

Third inning, three-run homer by Matt Hague, A First Baseman. Matt Fox is chastened.

Top of the ninth, a flare from the Red Sox. RBI Luna, again, to tie the game. Bottom half, Randy Williams hits leadoff batter, walks the next pair. No outs? None. Bases loaded? Aye! And a danger in Presley. Strikeout puts crisis on hold, but Randy is wild with Bowker. Gorkys (A Mad Russian?) dashes home, victory to the Indians.

Final score 6-5.

i've got this urgency to get things off the ground:
1. These minor league Pirates made a wench of Iglesias, who had no hits and struck out twice.
2. First base is evidently not in Lavarnway's repertoire, as Luna took over for Anderson last night. Dlugach played third, went 3-4, and still has the ability to surprise himself.
3. Do you want to talk about Chris Leroux, who pitched 3 and a third last night? He's a big sexy Canadian! YEAH GET SOME!!!

TODAY!!! AT TWO!!! Felix Doobie Brothers v Justin Wilson... Yeah, you love it. Still in Indiana, too, which... Imagine the fields of goldenrod... And Chris Leroux...


6.24.11 Red Sox @ Indians

And it goes to Pawtucket, 12-3.

I have to get Kyle Weiland out of the way. Weiland gave up two earned runs through five innings. Bo-RING!

Indianapolis start Brad Lincoln also pitched five innings, but it was considerably less dull. Lincoln... Is that the guy with the cowboy boots? Questionable fashion sense? Lincoln banged out the PawSox in order in the first inning, but the second inning was a humdinger. With two outs and a full count, trendy buzzword Ryan Lavarnway hit a double. A subsequent single by Nate Spears scored Lavarnway, putting up the first run of the game.

Exposito took a base on balls after the run scored. Spears stole third base, thankyouverymuch. And whatever you think happened when Brent Dlugach came to the plate, you're wrong! Dlugach hit a line drive double to right, sucka! Nate Spears scored, 2-0 R. Sox.

Che-Hsuan Lin could not have been anything but impressed by the two-out magic. Lin swung at the first pitch, but took the next one for a ball. And then Lin hit a soft fly ball to center, scoring Exposito AND Dlugach. Riverdale stomp, baby, let's go!

But, uh-oh, Indians coming hard in the bottom half. Center fielder Gorkys Hernandez hit a two-run double. But Weiland got Alex Presley to hit an infield pop-up for the last out, so Hernandez never made it home.

Lavarnway doubled again in the fourth inning, sort of, but he tried to make it to third... Mistake. Catchers don't hit triples and that's a fact. Unless you're Tim McCarver and who wants to be that guy?

Indianapolis sprinkled a few runners onto the bases in the bottom of the fourth, but Weiland didn't fall to pieces and once again Alex Presley got the last out.

Pawtucket, top of the fifth, Lin singled to right with one out. But when Yamaico Navarro was called out on strikes, he groused enough to get ejected... Then Arnie Beyeler was ejected... Real mature stuff. Hot lava Daniel Nava kept a straight face during these proceedings and hit an RBI double. 5-2 Red Sox.

Hideki Okajima pitched the sixth and seventh inning and the Indians could not gets hits off him. It's weird to think of Okajima doing that kind of 6-7 inning relief. But here we are in triple-A, where down is up and no one pitches like a normal human being. Indianapolis reliever Steven Jackson... Okay, wait, wasn't he a reliever on the Bats? YES. And I cannot believe I remember that. Normally I do stuff like put ice cube trays in the microwave.

Jackson pitched a couple of scoreless innings, but in the eighth inning, Donnie Veal got fucked out of his strawberries. Anderson walked with one out and Hector Luna considerately hit a sharp ground ball to left, winding up on second base. Veal IBB'd Lavarnway to load the bases and got the second out when Spears popped up (infield fly rule!).

Pitching change! Cesar Valdez in for Veal, just to get one little out. Exposito, how hard is that? Valdez walked Exposito, scoring Anderson. And then he walked Dlugach! For realsies? Dlugach is so easy to strike out, Valdez! And, hey, look, it's Che-Hsuan Lin again! Lin doubled, absolutely, grounder to left, cleared the bases. Totally heroic. Very, very macho. 10-2 Pawtucket.

Valdez kept on walking people in the ninth, putting Nava and Luna on with a mess o- balls. Poor kid. An error got Nava home and Valdez was finally replaced by Justin something. Jared Hughes, sorry. Spears grounded into a force, Luna scored. 12-2?

Blake Maxwell gave up a couple of singles and a walk in the ninth, the Indians scored a third run, but he put the baby to bed after a lot of fussing and wailing. not the tidiest inning, but that's Maxwell.

i'll stay at home and watch the runway lights:
1. Brad Lincoln's getting called up. He's the guy with the tight jeans, right? Alex Presley's going up, too. Nice work, Pittsburgh.
2. Che-Hsuan Lin went 3-5 with 5 RBI. I hope he remembers last night forever. Perhaps someone can put together a little montage set to Expose's 'Come Go With Me'.
3. Here's the Indianapolis paper's game story. It's always a treat to see the opposing team's city's headlines. For example, the horrific "Family supported after 2 boys die in car trunk." Indiana, please explain this to me.
4. Sellout crowd last night at the Indians' park! Someone once sent me a postcard from there and I keep it in my car to examine when I'm stuck in traffic or driving at a high rate of speed. Now I really really want to go.

I like it when the minor and major teams play each other simultaneously. This concurrence will not happen again in a hundred years, so let's dig it! And I hope you read the superlative Tim Wakefield story in the Providence paper. Here's the link... Read it right now. NOW! Put the bagel down!

Tonight! Lefty Garrett Olsen will try to defuse the sizzling bats of Nava and Navarro and Lin, I suppose. Matt Fox goes for the Red Sox.



6.23.11 Pawtucket @ Louisville

Tony Pena WINS! 4-3. And this is a fair example of the capriciousness of the 'Win' tag. TONY.

Your Pawtucket starting pitcher was Kevin Millwood and it is still pretty strange to me that Kevin Millwood wears a PawSox uniform. I haven't seen him pitch yet so shame on me. Millwood pitched six innings, giving up two runs on five hits. He struck out seven and walked three. Millwood left the game in a tie situation, so no dub for him.

Louisville starter Scott Carroll pitched himself into the eighth inning, sipping a drink and feeling fine. The Bats had a 3-2 lead. Carroll got Lin to ground out, but Spears singled so here comes a lefty. Jeremy Horst (Buchholz) faced switch-hitter Daniel Nava and got him to fly out, but Anderson hit a line drive double to right and Spears crossed the plate to tie the game.

Neither team scored in the ninth, but the Pawtuckets were not interested in a long, long extra inning game so they scored in the tenth. Nava hit an RBI double, scoring Matt Sheely. I love Matt Sheely, even though he was also caught stealing in this game.

Fly honey Randy Williams got the final out in the tenth inning after Pena departed. Todd Frazier was left hanging on second base. Someday Frazier is going to be waiting at Randy Williams' house with surgical foot covers and a hair net and gloves and shoot him dead before Williams can even put his bag of groceries down.

maybe fuck yourself:
1. Hector Luna hit his second triple of the year. This puts him in a team first-place tie with four other people. I'm confident he can pull ahead of those bums.
2. Where is Tony Thomas? I'm getting angry now. What the heck, you guys. Like Dlugach is so much better. (Hint: He is not.)
3. Franklin Morales pitched an inning and gave up a run. This game summary certainly has a lot of holes.
4. "Louisville reliever Brandon Hynick walked the first two batters in the 10th and then made a sensational play when Spears tried to bunt. Hynick dove toward the third-base line, grabbed the pop-up and quickly threw to first for the double play." - These Louisville Bats game stories are written by a different person every time. They always quote manager Rick Sweet, too. Maybe I'll write one someday.
5. Nate Spears went 3-5. Do you think he's a nice guy? Think again.
6. Tony Pena issued... Okay, Arnie Beyeler had Pena IBB both Danny Dorn and Jeremy Hermida. Dorn, maybe, he's been hot lately. Hermida? Okay... Yeah. RESPECT. Hermida was hittin' a bunch of stuff last night. LIKE YOUR MAMA!!!

Dude, I really gotta go. TONIGHT! Indianapolis Indians! McCutcheon's not on the team anymore so who cares? Fine. Kyle Weiland, Brad Lincoln. Could be cool.



Baby Chris Carter is upwardly mobile.

"Yeah, Durham was pretty lame. You could smell Ruggiano's BO all the way from left field. The Braves love me, bro. Hey, sometimes you need a change. I was gonna even change my at-bat music to 'He's a Magic Man' by that fat chick, but some douche in Toledo already uses it."

6.22.11 More Sox, More Bats, Less Fun

You know what baseball players love? Day games! Especially games that start before noon! Meanwhile, I slept nice and late even though I know everyone's waiting for me to post. Geez, sorry I'm not PawSox Blog, waking up at dawn to get my work done! Sorry I like to party! Sorry I enjoy my free time! I'm sorry I'm not the most boring person ever! I'm sorry I'm not poor!

So... Why did Ryan Kalish get kicked out of this game? He wasn't even in the lineup! Ninth inning, tossed! I'm assuming a lot of 'BLAH BLAH BLAH' from the dugout while wearing his grey hoodie. Yeah, I miss Ryan Kalish.

We can finally start the big meeting! Kentucky wins, 7-2. Brandon Duckworth, bless his Italian heart, took the loss. Got a couple of outs in the sixth but just couldn't seal the deal and left with L'Ville up 4-2. That's what happens when you give up back-to-back doubles, throw a wild pitch, and give up a three-run homer to left fielder Daniel Dorn.

Jason Rice got the last out in the sixth, but led off the eighth by walking former PawSox great Jeremy Hermida. And then Rice walked catcher Devin Mesoraco. Don't 'Mes' with Mesoraco!

Rice was so unnerved by Mesoraco without a mask on that he balked. Advance ye, all runners! Third baseman Juan Francisco was happy to single and score Hermida. Backwards K for Daniel Dorn, but Rice walked Chris Valaika to load the bases with one out.

Oh, hey, look, it's Blake Maxwell, the nuttiest reliever since Beau Vaughan! Maxwell was no help at all because he hit the next batter, Michael Griffin, walking in a run. Then Kristopher Negron hit a sac fly. 7-2. Final score.

Che-Hsuan Lin hit his first triple-A home run in this game! He's a big boy now! Get him a turkey leg wrapped in bacon!

1. Sorry, I totally overlooked Bats starter Daryl Thompson. 7 1/3 with 5 K's, two runs on four hits. “It was pretty decent,” Thompson said. “I'm not pleased with the (three) walks and giving up that home run. … Other than that, I felt pretty good.” - Michael Grant can be reached at (502) 582-4069
2. Video featuring Devin Mesoraco, who looks like a baby, but like a baby who got hit by a truck and then buried and then somehow punched his way through the cemetery dirt and went around killing people.

I am going to stop right here because I have less important things to do. I'm picking up my snaps from Toledo, so perhaps I'll share them! (That ballpark picture up there is mine, because I went to Louisville last summer. Of course I went to the bat factory!) Meantime, more Louisville Bats tonight. Kevin Millwood! How can we lose?

Thrillwood's opposed by Scott Carroll. Let's do this thing.



6.21.11 Pawtucket @ Louisville

PawSox, 6-3. Felix Doubront pitched five innings, giving up two runs on six hits. Four walks, four strikeouts, 97 pitches, 64 for strikes. Doubront did not get the win.

Louisville starter Homer Bailey pitched six innings and left the game with Pawtucket leading 3-2. Although the Bats scored first, hitting back to back doubles in the first, Pawtucket pulled ahead rather promptly. In the third inning, Matt Sheely singled with one out, then stole second during Navarro's strikeout. Then Nate Spears singled oh-so-gently to center, scoring Sheely to tie the game. Spears also stole second base, then scored when Daniel Nava singled. 2-1 Pawtucket, if I know my gazintas.

A walk and a couple of singles got the Red Sox a third run in the fourth inning. Louisville third baseman JUAN Francisco (not 'Jose', which is what I wrote in the lineup) hit a solo home run in the fifth changed the score to 3-2.

With Hideki Okajima pitching in the seventh inning, Francisco hit yet another solo home run, making things exciting for Louisville fans. Tie game! But fear not, Okajima, the Red Sox got their freak on in the eighth inning. With Justin Lehr pitching (Whose real name is Charles Larry?), Nava walked and stole second. A wild pitch got Nava over to third base. Hector Luna, who is your daddy, singled to center field, scoring Nava. Good night, Charles Larry. Enter David Johnson, who's also a righty so it wasn't a matchup thing. Short leash for Lehr, I guess.

Lavarnway got to second base on an error by center fielder Dave Sappelt, so I have to assume Lavarnway hit a ball out there somewhere. In all that tangle, Hector Luna scored. Dlugach drew a walk. Iglesias hit a line drive single to center. Damn, Dave Chappelle was busy last night! Anyway, this single scored Lavarnway.

David Johnson, still not having gotten anyone out, was faced with little Matt Sheely. Johnson walked him. Third pitcher of the inning come in to replace Johnson. Name of Steven Jackson. David Johnson and Steven Jackson. Catchy names. Jackson got Navarro to ground into a double play to finally end the inning. 6-3 Pawtucket and reliever Tony Pena kept it that way for the final two innings.

All that and I didn't even tell you that Aroldis Chapman pitched. Win goes to Okajima, loss to Justin Lehr.

don't let it end in sorrow:
1. Only one extra base hit for Pawtucket this game, a double by Anderson. Four stolen bases certainly helped.
2. Homer Bailey and Chapman are both rehabbing.
3. Do you think Homer Bailey looks like Christian Bale? Ummm... Maybe. Homer Bailey always seemed cadaverous and drained of blood to me. Maybe C. Bale in that movie where he's wicked skinny.
4. Bats shortstop Zack Cozart is looking pretty sexy to Cincinnati fans, since Edgar Renteria's not thrilling anyone. Cool story, John Fay.
5. And Cozart's third in the IL for doubles with 25.
6. Cozart interview from a couple of days ago.

This morning at 11:45! Brandon Duckworth will be opposed by righty Daryl Thompson. In Louisville. I can't go, sorry.


Patrick 'Pat' Stanley

I just looked it up and it seems that Patrick Stanley never played for Pawtucket. He did have one start for the Mud Hens, though.

I should have known. I was very thorough in 2009. Not as good as 2008, but still pretty solid.


6.20.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox (BOS) @ Louisville Bats (CIN) - Lunar Luger

Red Sox win 7-4! Pawtucket starter/reliever/starter/anger management candidate Matt Fox(y) started the game and pitched four innings, but left the game with Pawtucket down a run. The extremely likable Scott Atchison took over for three innings, threw 39 pitches, got all the outs he needed, and wore the W like a tiara. Gracefully and grandly.

The Louisville Bats (If I had a freaking dollar for every time I typed 'Lousiville', I'd be able to afford a reliable car) challenged the Red Sox with lefty Tom Cochran, who does not wear a visor. Cochran wormed his way through five innings, giving up three runs on five hits, including solo home runs by Yamaico Navarro and Hector Luna. He left the game whistling and swinging his lunch pail, heading for the tavern on the corner for a couple of pints, his team winning 4-3. But when Rather Tall Reliever Chad Reineke took over, things went south.

Wait, rewind! Yamaico Navarro's home run was really cool. It was the first inning, which he led off, with a 2-0 count, to left field which is pretty short in Louisville (325'). Alright, it wasn't that cool. The first pitch was a little high and outside, the second was inside. I looked it up!

Oh, and then in the fourth inning while Cochran was pitching, Luna hit his solo home run to left. So that made it 3-2 Bats. Exposito doubled and Bermudez hit an RBI single. Tie game.

Except right fielder Daniel Dorn tied it in the bottom half of the fourth with a solo home run.

Okay, we can go back to Chad Reineke now. But don't turn your back on him, because he's got a gun! Top of the sixth, Anderson triples with one out. Line drive to center with an 0-1 count. Triples are the reason God invented television. Hector Luna hit a sac fly, and the game was tied again, 4-4.

And then the eighth inning was a cringe-fest. Reineke still pitching. He walked Nava and Anderson. Luna hit the ball, probably a grounder, and it should have been a force out but third baseman Juan Francisco made a throwing error. Nava scored, 5-4 Pawtucket!

And then Exposito made it on base thanks to a missed catch by shortstop Zack Cozart. Anderson scores! 6-4! Poor Cozart. And then! And then! Nate Spears was grounding out, but catcher Devin Mesoraco made a throwing error! Luna scores! Oh my god, the crowd must have been booing the crap out of these guys. 7-4 Red Sox!

Randy Williams closed the game out with two scoreless innings. Thank you, Deborah.

stand by for adventure:
1. Brent Dlugach went 0-5 with 4 K's. Aw, what a sweet kid.
2. “We walked two guys to get in that situation,” Bats manager Rick Sweet said. “But it was actually before then that we let it get away. We had two leads, and we let both leads get away. You just can't do that. We've been really struggling with that, probably the last week, 10 days." - JJ Hysell here, with added 'Esposito' bonus
3. Here is the official blog of the Louisville Bats. It is not written by a fan. It's a company blog, which makes it pretty useless for me. I mean it man, we need more IL fan bloggers! Help me out, people!
4. Cute story on Tom Cochran who did time in the indy league. Namely, the Can-Am League! Worcester! That's remarkable because those guys very rarely get scouted out. That is adorable.
5. "You look at him and he doesn't have outstanding stuff. But he keeps winning and getting people out. He reminds me of John Burkett. I don't know if Burkett had 150 wins in the big leagues but people were never impressed too much with his stuff. He just got people out." - Dusty Baker (!) on Reineke. Hey, I loved John Burkett. That guy knew how to party.
6. So Cochran played for a team called the Wild Things. Okay. Do you know who else played for that team? Former PawSox great Patrick Stanley! Stanley got one start for Pawtucket in 2009. I will have to look that up, because I'm drawing a blank.
7. And Cochran was in the Boston system? I am awash in love. And I'm learning so much today!

Alright. Tonight! Homer Bailey, who disappointed so many people. Douby Brothers for Pawtucket. Do you read the Bus Leagues Blog? Oh, you must, it is superlative.



6.19.11 Red Sox, IronPigs

2-0 Lehigh Valley. LV starter Scott Mathieson pitched 3 2/3 innings, but the win went to able reliever Jason Grilli.

Both runs were scored in the third inning. Exciting youngster Cody Overbeck hit a solo home run with one out. Center fielder Rich Thompson followed that with a double. Reliably disgusting third baseman Jeff Larish hit the RBI single that brought the score to 2-0. And then it was all pitching for the rest of the game. Mike Zagurski and Michael Schwimer pitched two scoreless innings apiece.

Kyle Weiland took the loss for Pawtucket. His record falls to 5-6. Jason Rice, Franklin Morales, and Randy Williams cruised through the rest of the game, allowing no further runs to score. Randy Williams should pitch more.

ride like the wind. fight proud, my son:
1. Dlugach, Lavarnway, and Nava all hit doubles.
2. Nava is batting .487 over the last ten games with a 1.186 OPS. For the month of June overall, he's batting .426. So if you're a big Daniel Nava fan or if you're his mom/wife/father/high school coach, you should be proud.
3. It was Scott Mathieson's first non-rehab start since last September 2006, when someone squeezed his nuts with a waffle iron. Or he had two Tommy Johns. I forget which one.
4. Hey, it was little Cody Overbeck's first Triple-A home run!
5. Weiland left the game with a minor leg cramping situation. Please enjoy Terry Nau's Pawtucket story.
6. Video with Mathieson talking bout his lisp and his diabetes. What, no rickets?
7. Mathieson played for Canada in the WBC.

Tonight! Pawtucket's in Kentucky! Pawtucky! Kentucket! Yeah. Matt Fox will fly in the face of Tom Cochran. The other Cochran, the one who's a pitcher. I know you're tired. I'm tired too. But try to make it through the day, please?



6.18.11 Pawtucket v Lehigh Valley - Breaker 1-9

8-1? Nuh-uh! Nice work, Jose Iglesias! Hang on... Iglesias?

Pawtucket Teddy Bear Kevin Millwood put down his CB radio and pitched 7 2/3 large innings for the Red Sox. Shut up! Yes, it's true: 103 pitches (73 for strikes), six strikeouts, a walk and a solo home run. Great line, Millwood. Just what the doctor ordered.

Lehigh Valley lefty Ryan Feierabend was not as proficient. Feierabend made it through four innings, but not before giving up six runs on 8 hits. He balked twice, which is weird. Man.

Pawtucket's first run at Feierabend came in the first, when Brent Dlugach singled with one out and eventually scored on a Daniel Nava groundout. IronPigs left fielder Brandon Moss slapped back in the top of the second with a solo home run.

The best part came in the bottom of the fourth with game still tied at 1-1. Hector Luna led the inning off with a single to left. Feierabend then walked Lavarnway to put two runners on for Exposito, who lined out. Ooooh... Clock's ticking, Lou-is!

And then, like, the two guys voted Least Likely To hit back-to-back doubles. Bermudez and Iglesias. 4-1 Pawtuckets!

And just when I thought I was over you, Nate Spears homered to right with Iglesias on third to pack on another pair of runs. The very next inning, with reliever Justin De Fratus taking over for Feierabend, Pawtucket scored another two runs, partially thanks to an RBI double by Exposito. Exposito, coming alive!

(Just heard a man huskily bellowing outside my window, "Happy Father's Day, motherfucker!" That's life in the big city...)

Jose Iglesias hit an RBI single in the fifth some time after Exposito's double to bring the score to 8-1. Iglesias wound up going 3-4 with 3 RBI, so last night was his special day. Iglesias has a baby, right? Happy Father's Day, motherfucker!

Clevelan Santeliz managed not to blow the game in the eighth, getting that last batter out. Ooooh, he's just like a right-handed Javier Lopez versus Josh Hamilton! Hideki Okajima pitched the ninth and it was like watching a perfect, beautiful baby coming out of the chute on a hospital bed. Yay and such.

two things:
1. Justin De Fratus is yet another new kid from double-A Reading. Phil Lee!!!!!
2. Lars Anderson, not in the lineup. This is probably due to his bad day yesterday. Sometimes you just need to stack your money, lay low and chill.
3. For the IronPhils, catcher John Suomi went 2-3. Not much going on offensively for those guys last night. Offensive Lee!
4. "Justin De Fratus Kicks Enough Ass to Receive Ass-Kicking Promotion" - So says the 'That Balls Outta Here' blog
5. "It drives me nuts when players untuck their jersey on the field after the last out is made" - J. De Fratus on Twitter. Although I always thought that was stupid, I never realized how irritating it must be for a pitcher.
6. Brandon Moss is tied for tenth in the IL for RBI with 40. ;D

Hey, remember the IronPigs heinous inaugural season? When they led the season off with like 12 losses in a row? WHAT NOW!!!!!

This afternoon! Kyle Weiland v Scott Mathieson. I will not be attending with my father, since he never really liked me or talked to me and doesn't read my blog or anything. He did take me to a couple of Pawtucket games as a kid, so thanks, Father. I guess.



6.17.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Lehigh Valley Ironpigs (PHI) - Varny

Pawtucket WINS! 8-3. Thanks to Varny! I realize I said some not nice things about Varny a couple of months ago, but now I don't care if he eats fast food and throws the trash out his car window, or puts his groceries in the car and then doesn't return his carriage to the corral, or doesn't tip the pizza delivery guy, or wears cowboy boots made out of ostriches. I am even going to break form and call him 'Varny'. VARNY!!!!

Red Sox starting pitcher Brandon Duckworth put up seven strikeouts in less than four innings, so that was good. At times he looked pretty good, professional, etc. And then at times he did stuff like hit third baseman Tagg Bozied in the helmet with a pitch. That's gotta be embarrassing, even for an old pro like Duckworth. Everyone took it in stride, and again, this is one of those baseball things that would freak me out. I suppose if you've been playing since T-Ball, you've seen it all. During Duckworth's more trying times, Varny came out and patted him on the back and whatnot. Betcha Exposito is shittin' himself.

Lehigh Valley threw some anon. lefty on the mound. This guy was not on the roster, so I hadn't a notion who he was. Dirty. Unkempt. Hot. Erect. Not really. I can look him up now, and he is Ryan Edell. Would you say that 'Ryan' is the most common name among professional baseball players? I can probably name 20 Ryans.

Ryan 2000 pitched five innings, got a couple of outs in the sixth, but then he walked Hector Luna and gave up a single to Nava. Then good old Varny hit his second home run of the night, which finally put the Red Sox in the lead. 4-2! And then Josh Reddick hit his first home run of the night. 5-2. Edell was removed from the hill and Drew Carpenter... Wait, wasn't Carpenter a starter? I'm telling you! Anyway, Carpenter came in and got the last out.

Reliever Tony Pena, who wound up getting the win, horked up a single in the seventh inning when shortstop Brian Bocock hit an RBI double. Let me tell you, the horrible 14-year-olds behind me seemed to be great fans of Bocock! They kept chanting his name!

Things got really exciting in the eighth, when Nava doubled with one out and Varny walked. That's so Varny! With two guys on base, Reddick did the right thing and hit a monster home run to right. it looked foul, a little, but no it was not. No. It. Was. Not.

Scott Atchison came in and finished off the game. The best thing about Atchison is that he works fast. I love that about him. Two scoreless innings.

she treats you like glass:
1. It has been really something else to see Lavarnway's success at triple-A, all kidding aside. I cannot remember another call-up being quite this exciting. I do realize that everything is going to flatten out at some point, but right now FUCK YEAH! Got a message during the game asking if he was hot, which I am not sure about. But probably yes.
2. Dlugach and Anderson both went 0-4. Anderson appeared stressed out at the plate, unhappy with strike calls, and just generally kind of sloppy. Dlugach... have you ever really looked at Dlugach? I hadn't until last night. He looks like if Damien Jackson was cross-bred with one of those CE3K aliens. Big saucer eyes, smooth skin, small mouth, flipper-like appendages.
3. What do Dlugach and Ronald Bermudez have in common? Smoking weed every day.
4. It was Ryan Edell's first AAA start after being promoted from double-A Reading. Phil Lee!
5. So here's Brendan McGair's article. I am wondering if he just pounds it out and puts it up, because it doesn't look like it's been checked or proof-read or anything. 'Larvanway', if you will. Is he like the final hands on the story? I'm not trying to be a jerk, I am genuinely curious. I do all my own editing at home. And it shows.
6. Not sure who Cody 'Lyle' Overbeck is? Don't feel bad, I'm here to get you hip. Overbeck was the Eastern League's home run and RBI leader before being called up. So says Jeff Schuler.
7. Hey, it's Josh Barfield! I love that guy! Barfield hit a home run.
8. Yale coach John Stuper, who appeared in that book by that pitcher who said a lot of bad things about Dominicans, has kind words about R.L.

One last thing: Between innings last night, some people sang songs, as they were auditioning for the opportunity to sing the NA at McCoy. And the fans could vote on the one they liked best. It seemed to me that the IronPigs relievers intentionally walked past them at a too-close proximity and stared at them, perhaps trying to distract them. Like trying to be dicks. Could have been my imagination, but I don't think so. You really have to find creative ways to entertain yourself when you're stuck in the bullpen all night. And you can't even play Flonkerton!

Tonight! Millwood, I think. More Lehigh Valley. I don't know, go look it up. I'm very busy here at my desk, signing some forms. I have many laminated performance awards to re-align.



6.14.11 Second verse, same as the first.

Charlotte Knights win in extra innings. I love that story.

Andrew Miller starting for Pawtucket was fine (10 K's). He is most assuredly likely to be blowing town soon, so thanks for everything. I 'Hope' you enjoyed your stay in Rhode Island. Don't worry - I am not 'anchor'-y at you for leaving!

Pawtucket was ahead 2-1 until the ninth. Okajima was pitching and Lastings Milledge led off with a bunt. He cut all his long, long hair off! Andrew Garcia hit a sac fly and scored Milledge.

Clevelan Santeliz barfed everything up in the top of the eleventh. Nate Spears was ejected for arguing a strike call. I get really irritated when players do that. You are in the lineup for a reason, so why the fuck are you acting like a jerk and getting tossed? These kids need to get over themselves sometimes.

Whatever. This game has left me dispirited. And would someone mind telling me why Tony Thomas is in Portland?

my middle name's still 'Risk'
1. Nathanial Stoltz provides a gentle, warm story on Dylan Axelrod coming from the indy league. Axelrod pitched eight innings last night, and he did it with a paltry 96 pitches. So nice work for this guy.
2. Dallas McPherson is one of the biggest first baseman I have ever seen.
3. No one cares about Hector Luna except me. He will never be a topic on any message board. Luna went 2-5 last night and in the seventh inning, threw out Eduardo Escobar at home, fielder's choice out. That's the kind of thing that would put my heart in my throat, if I were a third baselady. That throw to home for an out... So many 'what ifs'. So much can go wrong. Hector Luna was cool, though, and maintained a post-amazing defensive play face. Hector Luna is great. I wish he was my friend in real life.
4. Re: Miller deciding to opt out and his audio comments: "Note that he says all this in a very relaxed tone." Yeah, he was probably stoned.. Or he ate one of those brownies they banned in Fall River.
5. "All he eats is pizza... Pizza and the other thing, what do you call that? Pizza and... cheese. Cheese and macaroni or whatever you call it." - guy behind me last night
6. Jeremy Kapstein was present last night, as was Ryan Kalish, Bill Lee, Yamaico Navarro, and Matt Sheely. And that scout in the black vest with the crack phone, he was there. And my brother and his daughter, who hates me.

No Red Sox today. I'm wondering if I should go to Lehigh Valley in July. I'd really like to go to Rochester, but the timing's bad. The only thing is that Lehigh Valley does not look... I mean, I'm sure it's lovely... What I'm trying to say is... Never mind.

I love you.


2011 PawSox Fireworks at McCoy Stadium

All this work and all people want to know is when the fireworks are.

July 1st - It's a Rochester game

July 2 and 3 - More fireworks, according to the schedule

September 4th is your last chance for fireworks in Pawtucket.

And I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend.

Toledo, the two of us need look no more.

Ben's Biz went to Toledo or is still in Toledo. Hey, didn't I just go there? Yes, and I had the same view out of my hotel window. WHAT IF HE IS STAYING IN THE EXACT SAME ROOM THAT I DID?

I think Ben's Biz needs to try Hangover Balls. I did, and I don't even eat meat.

Toledo would be nothing without the Mud Hens. What else do they have?

By the way I took pictures, which I hate doing but I made myself. One day I will share them. I could have spent another couple of days in Toledo.

6.13.11 The Charlotte Knights wear leather jackets.

4-1 Charlotte Knights. Joe Bisenius took some time out from being on the Periodic Table of the Elements and pitched himself and, in many ways, all of us into the seventh inning at McCoy last night. So the win goes to him.

Pawtucket starter Kyle Weiland... Okay, is it me or does Weiland pitch like every third day? I feel like he's always there, being tall and being a right-handed pitcher and... He's the Notre Dame kid, right? I really don't know anything about him. Which is good, sometimes I know too much which leads to irrational hatred.

Can I call him KyWy? All four runs went to KyWy. Matt Fox was Reliever #1. Not just last night, but in his small role in BloodBall 3: The Infield Die Rule. I prefer Matt Fox as a starter. Yes, it's illogical, but don't forget I'm the one who came up with the Bullpen Quorum the other day. I'm not hemmed in by lack of creativity. Grady Little had the right idea! It's all Tim Wakefield's fault!

A bunch of shit went down in the top of the sixth, which saw Reddick and Bermudez switch places in the outfield. As in, Bermudez took over in center field. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS HAPPENED? HELLO? I know you organizational guys are out there, reading, yet you're so stubborn and won't talk to me. Go fuck yourselves, actually. Like you're so much better than I am.

Dayan Viciedo led the sixth off with a single to center. Viciedo is only 22 years old. Take him in your arms, rock your baby. First baseman Dallas McPherson was inspired to follow that with a single of his own. Catcher Tyler Flowers sac bunted and moved the runners up. Catchers are always the best at sac bunts. I am not a huge Varitek fan, but he's a good man and he puts it down.

Weiland's next challenge was center fielder Jordan Danks. Weiland really should have struck him out in this instance, or induced an infield pop-up. That's what I would have done. But Danks walked to load the bases. Gross! Lastings Milledge came up and hit an RBI single. Goodbye, Weiland.

Matt Fox! Fox faced Andrew Garcia, who hit a grounder to center that scored both McPherson and Danks. Poor Pawtucket. This is the mystery of the quotient: Upon us all a little rain must fall. The Red Sox had eleven hits and scored one run. One. Anderson, Bermudez, Lavarnway, and Iglesias all stepped up with runners in scoring position and made the last out instead of driving someone in. They did it on purpose!

but i know that i love you so:
1. I love Maureen Mullen! Please enjoy Kyle Weiland talking about developing his cutter.
2. In the early 90's there was a song with the simple chorus of "DIANE DIANE DIANE DIANE DIANE DIANE DIIIIIAAAAAAAANE!" Viciedo went 3-5 last night. That song is not about him, but let me see what I can do.
3. "With one out in the top of the second, Reddick retrieved a hard hit ball by Danks at the warning track, a 400-foot shot. Reddick bashed into the wall on the catch and had to be tended by medical personnel for nearly five minutes. The inning ended on a double play with third baseman Hector Luna catching a line drive by Milledge and tossing over to first to get Tyler Flowers (walk) out at the bag. Reddick was okay and did stay in the game." - Steve Mazzone, Pawtucket paper. Okay, that makes sense. Sorry I got so mad earlier. I'm usually sweeter than a licorice stick.
4. ryanlavarnwaydebuttwodoublescatcherprospectlavarnwaysomethingspraychart
5. "That's going to be the trio of Chicago." So says Dayan Viciedo. I'm sorry, but weren't there like 12 people in Chicago? All that brass!
6. Is Jimmy Durkin an actual person? If there was a big computer that just churned out sports articles, its name would be J.I.M.M.Y. And I am not convinced that it doesn't already exist, devouring box scores and player stats and spitting out Staff Reports.
7. The IL's player of the month for May was Dayan Viciedo!
8. Great job, Knights relievers Anthony Carter, Tyson Corley (damn, Corley is country), and Gregory Infante.
9. "After Reid Fronk struck out to start the inning, Tyson Corley walked Cole Figueroa..." This popped up in search results. Reid Fronk? Cole Figueroa? Where did this game take place? They sound like Martians.
10. Oh yeah, Franklin Morales pitched.

Tonight! Kyle Weiland! Not really, but it's more Charlotte Knights in Pawtucket. Bill Lee is going to be in the house, also. And Jose Santiago, for those weirdos out there.

Andrew Miller will face Dylan Axelrod. It is to you I give this tune.


6.12.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Charlotte Knights (CWS)

Kevin Millwood wins, 2-1. Daniel Nava wins, also.

Millwood pitched five innings and gave up a homer to Lastings Milledge.

Daniel Nava hit a home run in the first inning to put Pawtucket up 1-0. The Red Sox scored their second run in the third inning, when Anderson grounded into a double play. There was probably a runner at third at the time. I have no way of knowing. I'm very busy with these important documents, you see.

Knights starter Matt Zaleski wears his loss like a crown of thorns. Zaleski threw 105 pitches through six innings, so what does that tell you? He perhaps could have used the sweet comfort of liquor and strippers.

Randy Williams and Jason Rice pitched a pair of innings apiece and kept Charlotte down. When they're not pitching, Rice and Williams are detectives! One's a cool dude from California, one's a tobacco-spittin' bowhunter in cowboy boots. The latter would be Jason Rice. A lot of people don't realize how handy Rice is with a crossbow!

daniel nava is untethered by relevance:
1. "With one down in the third inning and the bases loaded, Lars Anderson grounded a ball sharply to first base. Charlotte first baseman Jim Gallagher fielded the ball, stepped on the bag and threw to second base where the tag was applied to Hector Luna who started on first base to begin the play. Before the tag was applied to Luna, Nava crossed the plate for the second run of the game, but Anderson was not credited with an RBI because the run scored on a double play." - There, are you satisfied?
2. Matt Zaleski started the season in double-A Birmingham. No, he is not young and developing. Zaleski was demoted!
3. Zaleski is the son-in-law of Bart Berns. What, you have no idea who Bart Berns is? What the hell is wrong with you?
4. This was Mike McKenry's last Pawtucket game, because he's been traded to Pittsburgh for a bottle of air. Geez, I feel like I never really got to know him. And Paul Hoover was released, which no one told me about. You guys are assholes, you know that?

Tonight! Kyle Weiland v Joe Bisenius. I might not go. Maybe tomorrow night?

Have an erotic day!


Ramp Champ #40 - Jed Lowrie

Jed Lowrie is a shortstop. A shortstop who occasionally plays second or third base. Lowrie played for the Pawtucket Red Sox from 2007-2009.

In 2007, Lowrie spent most of the season in Portland, but he played 40 games in Pawtucket and batted .300. He was 23 years old.

2008 saw Lowrie splitting time between Boston and Pawtucket. Lowrie made seven errors through his 53 Pawtucket games.

And 2009? 22 games.

I can't get too juiced about Jed Lowrie. I cannot. So I'm gonna stop here and revisit in four years, when the haze of nostalgia covers my indifference.


Zach Daeges, what are you doing right now?

I heard a rumor that Zach Daeges is retiring. Of course I don't believe it.

If that happens I will be very disappointed.

Did you know that when Jonas Dufek was drafted in the ninth round by the Astros, he became Creighton's highest pick since Zach Daeges went in the sixth round (No. 193 overall) to Boston in the 2006 draft?

Does Zach Daeges even actually exist any more? Has anyone seen him alive?

June 9th, 2011 - Pawtucket Red Sox @ Norfolk Tides

Hey, Tides win again 4-2. Pawtucket starter Felix Doubront took the loss, pitching 5 1/3 innings and giving up three runs. Without love, where would he be now?

Norfolk starter Jason Berken pitched five innings. Pawtucket got him for both of their runs, which came in the third inning. Mike McKenry led off with a single, which Jose Iglesias followed with one of his own. With Che-Hsuan Lin at-bat, Berken threw a wild pitch, advancing the runners. Lin's response was a line drive single to right, scoring McKenry. A sac fly by Josh Reddick scored Iglesias.

Clevelan Santeliz gave up the fourth run to the Tides in the eighth inning, but the Red Sox would have lost anyway, right? Lars Anderson led the top of the eighth off with a double. Daniel Nava followed with a hard hit line drive, but it was deflected by Blake Davis at first and snatched up by second baseman Nick Green, who threw it home to get Anderson out. Blake Davis! The irritatingly adept Davis also drove in half of Norfolk's runs.

1. Darnell McDonald got himself caught in a rundown in the first inning after he singled. Too bad, because Anderson was batting next. Except he struck out in the top of the second, so never mind. It was fate. Up against Anderson's will.
2. Daniel Nava went 4-4. Hector Luna and Brent Dlugach both went 0-4 with 2 K's.
3. No hits or anything for Matt Angle. Well, he did walk in the eighth inning, so he can take that to bed with him tonight.
4. Evidently I have something in common with Baltimore's Brian Roberts, as he is a "blogger". In this installment, he talks to Tides starter Jason Berken about working out. And sports. And woman's reproductive rights.
5. More Jason Berken talking about football. Stop being so schticky, Berken! Did you know that he's pitched for the Orioles, but they used him as a reliever?
6. There's a fat guy lurking inside Jason Berken.
7. More Berken video. Cut it out! You're gonna make me develop a crush!
8. Awwwww.
9. "Joe Posnanski has awarded Jason Berken his "anti-Cy Young" award, noting that "Basically, the whole league was an MVP candidate when Jason Berken was on the hill." - How dare you!
10. Former Pawsox pitching coach Mike Griffin helped Berken slow it down. Yeah, nice and slow. Just how I like it.
11. Jason Berken's entrance song is 'Right Now' by Van Halen. Oh my god, that's like my favorite song! We have so much in common.
12. "When Jason Berken was sent down to Norfolk, Orioles’ manager Buck Showalter remarked that Berken may have been “too strong” for his own good this season." - Oooh... Berken is so strong. Just a big, strong man.
13. One look in your eyes... And there I see... Just what you mean to me...

Tonight! More Tides. Is Jason gonna pitch again? I mean, I don't care or anything... Whatever, I like Pawtucket, okay? Matt Fox, yeah!

Here and now... I promise to love faithfully...


Pawsox Pyramid

What's the category?

Adam Hyzdu
Gil Velazquez
Trent Durrington
Carlos Maldonado
Shane Andrews

6.8.11 NORFOLK TIDES!!!!! ORIOLES!!!!!!


Tides win 3-0. Brad Bergeson pitched a complete game shut-out. Andrew Miller tried, bless his heart.

Anyway, after traveling to Toledo I have realized that everyone was right and I was wrong: It IS pronounced 'Louis' Exposito. Who am I to tell Exposito that he pronounces his own name wrong?

I'll tell you who I am! I am JEN FUCKING S OF CENTRAL FALLS RHODE ISLAND AND NO WAY AM I GOING TO BE OUTSMARTED BY A CATCHER!! What kind of stupid shit is that? Should I say my name is pronounced 'Jean'? No, because I have some respect for the rules and guidelines of common pronunciation!

It's like 'Chili' and those crazy Rochester kidz. JONATHAN VAN EVERY KNEW HOW TO PRONOUNCE 'PAWTUCKET' AND THEO EPSTEIN STILL CAN'T GET IT RIGHT! Also, I love how Epstein's all buff now. All the better to jam with Buffalo Tom or whatever. Baseball GM's should be pasty and out of shape because they're busy working on your favorite team, not enjoying local nightlife and hitting the gym. I know my rules!

Brent Dlugach hit a double, which is noteworthy if you're his mom.

Matt Angle continues to to prick the Red Sox with hits and sly outfield catches. Just admit you want to have sex with him, already. I don't even know what he looks like so I hope I can find a sexxxy picture to adorn this post.

Would you like me to talk some more about my trip to Norfolk? I could go all day. You should have seen my sunburn.

Meantime, I'll come around later on. So much for my day at Hampton Beach.

(Stimulating Matt Angle photo from Monoblogue.us)


6.7.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Norfolk Tides

Tides take it, 4-3 in 13 innings. This would not have happened with Darnell McDonald in the lineup.

Red Sox starter Kyle Weiland pitched five innings. Weiland had only given up two singles and a walk in the first four innings, but 'round come the fifth he stumbled and led it off with a walk to right fielder Blake Davis. Catcher John Hester batted next and got on base thanks to an error by Dlugach. One of Weiland's pickoff attempts went awry, allowing Davis to score the first run of the game.

Weiland went on to walk LF Tyler Henson in the inning, putting runners on the corners with no one out. And then Matt Angle. Angle the Mauler. Angle the Slim Killer. Angle the RBI single hitter, who drove in John Hester with a soft, gentle, beautiful line drive to left. 2-0 Tides.

A balk call on Weiland advanced Henson and Angle with Brendan Harris at bat. Harris grounded out, allowing Henson to score. 3-0.

Norfolk starter Mitch Atkins kept Pawtucket off the board until the sixth inning, when a walk to Hector Luna and a single to Lars Anderson set everything up very nicely for skinny boy Brent Dlugach, who perhaps surprised even himself by hitting a home run to right. Tie game!

Relievers Scott Atchison and Hideki Okajima each pitched two scoreless innings and struck out four batters. Like adorable twins! For the Tides, Pat Egan, Mark Worrell, and Troy Patton threw holy water at the Red Sox and repelled their unholy bats.

If we skip ahead to the thirteenth inning, you'll see that Matt Angle led it off with a single off reliever Tony Pena. Angle advanced on a sac bunt, Josh Bell was intentionally walked, Rhynes Hughes hit the RBI single. Perhaps even in that order!

Matt Angle is a real pain in the ass.

can you imagine the way i felt?
1. No hits from the hitters: Reddick and Luna came up empty. Dlugach had all the RBI, Anderson went 2-6 with a double. Tony Thomas and Nate Spears also doubled.
2. No subs for Pawtucket in this game! Everyone played the full 13.
3. Randy Williams also made a two-inning appearance.
4. It was 'Turn Back the Clock Night' at the Tides' park. Cheap food, like prices from outta time. Hey, that happened when I was there! Was that really two years ago? No way. No fucking way. I remember Rocky Cherry...

Tonight! Norfolk again, Andrew Miller, Brad Bergeson. Sorry, not much out there today about this game. I guess no one cares about Brent Dlugach.


6.6.11 Red Sox @ Bulls - A Win Again Or

Hey, how about it? Pawtucket drops bricks and wins 11-3, taking 3-4 from the formidable Durham Bulls. Sweetheart Bulls starter Edgar Gonzalez gave up seven runs on ten hits (five doubles, my friend) through five innings and got the win. Shh, just tell him he got the win...

Kevin... Kev Millwood did not have a great outing the first time he pitched for Pawtucket, but I'd he say he came out smelling like a rose this time. Millwood worked himself into the seventh inning with Luis Exposito at his back. Literally. Kevin Millwood pitched backward.

Not really, but it gets me wondering about veteran pitchers and baby catchers... I'm sure Millwood's unfamiliar with the IL so Exposito's gotta put his work in. And now I'm wondering what is the all-time age difference between a pitcher and a catcher. Historically. Like when Kelly Shoppach caught David Wells? Can someone look this up, please?

Kevin Millwood only gave up one run and he didn't walk anybody. I know he's trying to work his way up to Boston, but some people appreciate his performance purely as a lever toward a win. Doesn't everyone want to see their home team win? It's just that simple sometimes.

But enough about Kevin M. Wanna talk about Marco Scutaro? I'd rather not, but I will say he went 3-4 with a double. And he kicked the entire game off with a single. Second pitch, line drive to center.

And after that? Reddick walked. Darnell McDonald and Lars Anderson hit back-to-back doubles. 3-0 Pawtucket.

The Red Sox stapled a couple more runs onto their total in the second, which featured doubles by Scutaro and McDonald.

That's it for today. I have lots to do so I have to cut it short.


6.5.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Durham Bulls - Man is hunted for sport.

Bulls win 5-4. Know what happened? Pawtucket was ahead 4-3. Center fielder Desmond Jennings hit a solo home run in the seventh, tied it. Bowden came into the ninth and led it off with a walk to catcher Robinson Chirinos. JJ Furmaniak went for the sac bunt and it was too much for the Red Sox, their hearts couldn't take it. So the runners were at first and second, no outs. Jennings was up, Bowden intentionally walked him. THIS INSTANCE OF BASEBALLERY LEAVES ME BEWILDERED. It's such a gamble, and in this instance, it did not pay off. You have a man like Ray Olmedo flipping a single into right and winning the game.

I saw all of this on television. Of all things, walking the bases loaded with no outs in a tie game, bottom of the ninth. Hey, you got this, Bowden. ARNIE BEYELER, WAS THAT YOUR CALL? I understand the real ultimate power of Jennings... I don't know, I'm stupid about baseball as I've proven over and over.

Bowden takes the loss, win goes to Bulls reliever Jake McGee. Durham starter Alex Torres and his jelly doughnut pitched 4 2/3 and walked half the ballpark. Thanks? Matt Fox's start lasted five innings and was rather humdrum. Fox gave up three runs on six hits, including a Chris Carter home run.

So Pawtucket is televised and people who are unfamiliar with the team this season must have been bored to death. Someone, somewhere probably said, "That's why they're not in the majors." Minor league game in every sense.

it hides a messy stain:
1. There is not much less interesting than a five inning start. It's organizational. How many have I seen from Pawtucket? No way to count. I get so jealous when I see one of those RA Dickey complete games... Or opposing pitchers throwing 115 pitches. That's a game. You can almost convince yourself that triple-A is real.
2. Lars Anderson hit a two-run double in the top of the first. I am convinced that hearing he was too fine and polite at the plate pissed him off.
3. Che-Hsuan Lin went 0-4 with two K's.
4. Durham Bulls enthusiast Adam Sobsey's game report here.
5. Pawtucket: Two errors, a passed ball, three wild pitches, Lin caught stealing, 13 left on base... Slop.
6. WAIT A MINUTE. Durham starter Alex Torres threw 107 pitches and he didn't even complete the fifth inning? Only 59 were strikes? Runners left in scoring position, two out: McKenry! Tony Thomas! Hector Luna! Darnell McDonald?! Twice? And Che-Hsuan Lin, thrice?! I hope you burn with shame like a slap to the face, Pawtuckets.
7. Desmond Jennings is not Carl Crawford.

This afternoon in Durham! Kevin Millwood. Dude, I don't care if Mike Remlinger is pitching, just C Sharp or you'll B Flat. Opposing will be Edgar Gonzalez. I should skip work, right? RIGHT?


6.4.11 Red Sox @ Bulls - Ekstronomics

7-1 Pawtucket Red Sox! That was fun, right?

Felix Doubront (Brothers) got the start, working into the fifth inning and getting a couple of outs before allowing left fielder Leslie Anderson to single. He was subbed by Tony Pena, who wrapped things up in the fifth, but not before giving up a walk and a single to score Anderson. Pena went on to pitch a couple more scoreless innings.

Starting pitcher for the Bull was Dirk Hayhurst. Hayhurst didn't quite get as far as the rehabbing Doubront, going 4 1/3. Hayhurst was pretty much cruising until the fourth inning, when Darnell McDonald led off with a line drive single to left. That's probably because he KNEW Lars Anderson was gonna go yard, which he did, and it was 2-0 PawSox. What did I tell you? LARS SMASH!

Pawtucket put together a calamitous fifth inning as well. Luis Exposito led off with a single. Che-Hsuan Lin batted afterward and flew out to center, but Marco Scutaro singled to put runners on first and second with one out. Good night, Dick Hayhurst. Please welcome Dane De La Rosa, of the Virginia De La Rosas. De La Rosa is a mountain, a beast! He's very tall and weighs 245 lbs. Darnell McDonald was not impressed, stepped up to the plate, and hit a three-run homer. Oh my god, I miss Darnell McDonald.

De La Rosa wriggled out of that inning and went on to pitch another. Stellar and lunar relief was provided by the sensible non-partyer Mike Ekstrom, who rather smugly pitched a pair of scoreless innings, striking out McDonald, Anderson, Nava, Thomas, and Exposito. Hell yeah, Mike Ekstrom. Too bad righty Rob Delaney was less than Ekstrom.

Delaney came to the hill for the ninth inning to suppress the Red Sox so Durham could get their five-run rally on. Lin led off with a tiny little single. Lin later scored on a single to center by Lars Anderson. And then Anderson scored when the incredible, edible Hector Luna tripled.

The Bulls set the world on edge when they singled twice off Randy Williams in the ninth. Clevelan Santeliz stepped in and got the last two outs, though. Yeah.

1. Nate Spears hit a triple! And Darnell McDonald and Lars Anderson had three RBI apiece. I smell a buddy movie! He's an infielder, and he's an outfielder! Throw them both into a muscle car and have them solves crimes. In San Francisco. McDonald can wear turtlenecks.
2. Nothing from Tony Thomas? Rats!
3. Durham right fielder Brandon Guyer had a couple of hits, but otherwise the offense was crickets.
4. Dane De La Rosa is a very naughty boy. He was recently suspended a few games for some retaliatory plunking.
5. Dirk Hayhurst said, "The Rays have instituted a new vegan diet which has been screwing up my ability to get a hold of hamburger grease, which is a key element in being able to throw the skoodoush which, as you know is a money pitch for me. That’s a factor. I learned a great splitting, sliding, knuckling two-seam skoodoush from this guy named Toledo Jones back in A-ball, and that’s my go-to pitch I just kept missing arm-side with it. I wanted to lull them into a false sense of confidence and then use that against them just like General Patton would do … " - Mike Potter, Indy Week. Wait, did he really say that?

This evening, please get a load of Matt Fox, who will be facing Durham's Alex Torres. Che-Hsuan Lin's excited and you should be, too.


6.3.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Durham Bulls

Okay, let's do this. Pawtucket wins 6-3. Win goes to Andrew Miller, who pitched six three-run innings. Miller threw 100 pitches! About time someone got stretched out! Miller did not walk anybody, but he got nine strikeouts.

Jay Buente got the start for Durham and was responsible for all six runs. Top of the first, leading off... Che-Hsuan Lin, who reached on an error and stole second. Hector Luna singled to left and Che-Hsuan Lin scored. Luna made it to second on the throw, probably because the left fielder sucks and has no defensive game. I don't know, I wasn't there.

Lars Anderson followed Luna's single with one of his own, getting Luna across for a second run. 2-0 Red Sox!

Pawtucket struck again in the third inning, when Iglesias led off with a walk. When you issue a lead-off walk to the number nine hitter, you'd better get it together. Man. Lin singled and Nate Spears doubled to right to add another run. With two outs and runners on second and third, Jay Buente walked Daniel Nava intentionally. It's going around town that Nava's been hitting a little lately, huh? But how can you not take Tony Thomas into account? Thomas singled to left and Lin and Spears both scored. Damn, that left fielder can't get anyone out at home, can he?

Durham started the bottom of the third down 5-0. Catcher Robinson Chirinos (If your first name is 'Robinson', you're probably a catcher.) led off with a triple! A catcher hitting a triple? What's next, a talking banana?

Chirinos scored on a fielder's choice. A couple of force outs and singles later, it was 5-2. Pawtucket picked up their sixth run in the fifth inning, when Anderson hit a solo home run. Lars Anderson is angry! He hates being labeled, man! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM! LARS SMASH!

Durham scored a third run in the seventh when DH Leslie Anderson hit an RBI double, but Okajima and Michael Bowden held the lead, kept the Bulls from scoring the rest of the ride home. And that's it... I am officially a Michael Bowden believer. I have completely turned around on him. I take everything back. I love him. I wish he was my son. I would buy him towels for the house, garland for his Christmas tree. I totally get it now.

In a related story, Ray Olmedo is back from the dead. Perhaps he can tell us where Wayne Lydon is.

we shouldn't kill each other 'cause it's lame:
1. It's RJ Swindle, pitching relief for Durham!
2. So much for Dlugach's bat heating up. he went 0-4, struck out every time. What a bum.
3. "Pawtucket's arrival, timed precisely to that of the cooler, drier weather, was not just a lowering of the team's temperature (the Bulls won three of four games against the Clippers) but a flattening of its energy. A pitching performance like Miller's—much better than the official record will show—will do that to you." - Adam Sobsey! I love this guy. I recommend reading his story. It's probably the greatest PawSox story I've read all year.
4. Jay Buente is a new kid on the Bulls, having just been claimed off Marlins waivers like two weeks ago. Wouldn't it be funny if triple-A teams could trade? And that the bullpen formed a quorum and made those type of decisions? And what if Gumby could play basketball? What if Gumby was a relief pitcher and his main trade adviser was Tommy Hottovy due to his business acumen? Relievers should have that kind of power! They're always the smartest guys on the team because they're having Socrates-style discussions in the bullpen, expanding their consciousness, probably eating pot brownies. Pitchers always have the best weed.
5. I have probably mentioned the 'Watching Durham Bulls Baseball' blog before, but it bears repeating. It's really good. The International League needs more fan blogging. Badly. There are other people blogging about Pawtucket, but it's all very safe and sterile and devoid of naughty words and YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL!!!!!

Tonight! Many of you like Dirk Hayhurst, so this one's for you guys. Other people like Felix Doubront, myself included, so this one's for us. Some people like both guys, but fuck those on-the-fence whores. PARTY IN DURHAM TONIGHT!