6.29.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Charlotte Knights - I'm Different!

Knights win, 5-2, and if that's not enough then Andy LaRoche and Scott Podsednik and Ray Olmedo and Dallas McPherson were there, too. And someone named Kyle Shelton. The win goes to Gregory Infante, standing proud on the mound and feeling like an ocean being warmed by the sun.

Pawtucket starter was Doug Mathis, who gave up nine hits through six innings but kept the runs down to three. Manageable, right? There were two solo home runs - Drew Garcia and Dan Johnson being the culprits. Except the home run is credited to pitcher Anthony Garcia on the website, which can't be right. Mathis threw 113 pitches for some reason. There's something rotten about this game.

Starter for the Charlottes was Deunte Heath, who only pitched four innings. Pawtucket scored both their runs in the second inning, when Mauro Gomez, Andy LaRoche, and Alex Hassan led things off with three consecutive singles. A couple of force outs and an error later, Pawtucket scored the second run. I hope I didn't just confuse you...

Daniel Bard I guess tried to pitch. It was fucking awful, even for him. It was the seventh inning and Bard was facing CF Greg Golson. Golson was with the Yankees, wasn't he? Whatever, Golson singled and stole second base. Next batter, left fielder Tyler Kuhn, flew out to center field, which was the best thing that happened for Bard. Bard then walked Dan Johnson and hit Conor Jackson with a pitch, loading the bases. Bard then walked Dallas McPherson and Hector Giminez, bringing home a couple of runs. Good night, Bard. That was 26 pitches, nine for strikes.

Wilson finished the game, but it was all over. Brendan McGair kicks his story off with "It doesn’t get any lower if you’re Daniel Bard." Yes.

such a delicate thing that we do:
1. Pedro Ciriaco went 3-5 with a double, bless his heart. Bard probably never talks to him. LaRoche also went 3-4. Did he start the year on the team and has been injured? I can't remember.

2. Craig Forde writes about the game for a Very Important Newspaper.

3. By the way, Justin Germano might pack his eyebrows and head for the hills, since today is Opt-out Clause Day. If he goes, I believe everything will fly apart into molecules of misery. And did you know that Will Inman's Day has come and gone and no one knew about it? Quote from the above story: "If you really want to find out what’s out there you can go out and look, but the grass isn’t always greener. That’s what I was pretty sure that I was going to stay here unless something drastic came up. For us (ballplayers), it’s not just ‘Hey, you’re playing at a new field.’ You have a family to consider and start new [apartment] leases. I think mentally, just being comfortable in one place is something that really helps and correlates to good performance on the field.” That's Will Inman, getting comfy cozy in Rhode Island. I'm happy to have him.

4. Peter Gobis helpfully explains the LaRoche thing. I don't like it.

TONIGHT! Lefty Pat Misch will take down the shaky Pawtucket foundation in Lehigh Valley. What? I was just there! They have a big parking lot and stuff! Justin Germano will pitch for the Red Sox... Or will he?



6.27.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Charlotte Knights

Pawtucket wins at last, 5-1, with new kid Zach Stewart making a nice first impression. Also Mauro Gomez was there making his usual contributions, which I will get to later. Here's a hint: SHAPOW!

Stewart pitched 5 2/3 innings and gave up one run, which was a... It was an RBI single? It was! It was an RBI single by Dallas McPherson, who is not quite dead yet. I know, I looked it up. I also know his middle name is Lyle and that he attended The Citadel. Damn, McPherson. But yeah, Stewart did not allow a run until the sixth, but then three singles in that fateful inning ended his night on the hill.

Starter for the Knights was Zach Segovia. No. Dylan Owen? JB Miadich? NO MIADICH WAS A RELIEVER. It was lefty Charles Leesman and his crappy little five innings. Leesman got the Red Sox out pretty well in the first, but in the second inning Alex Hassan hit an RBI single to put Pawtucket up 1-0.

In the third inning, with two outs, Jason Repko singled rather cheaply to second. Ryan Lavarnway singled right after that, but just to be a dick he hit a line drive to right. RYAN LAVARNWAY LIKES COUNTRY MUSIC!!!!! So who bats after Lavarnway? Mauro Gomez is who, and all he did was hit a timely home run to slap three more runs on the board. I like this guy.

In the seventh inning, with reliever Dan Remenowsky tryng to TCB, Nate Spears doubled, Jonathan Hee bunt singled, then Pedro Ciriaco hit a line drive single to score Spears. That's co-operation!

Daniel Bard and Garrett Mock finished the game off, providing a happy ending for all in attendance. Do you find Garrett Mock attractive at all? He's a big guy... Fireballer Brian Osso Buco was the last guy to pitch for the Knights. The end!

fine, brian omogrosso:
1. Lavarnway went 3-4 and JC Linares was the only guy in the lineup without a hit.

2. Look who's going to the All-Star game in Buffalo! Charles Leesman, Greg Golson, Dan Johnson and Josh Phegley. Good work, you four!

3. And look who's going for Pawtucket: Lavarnway, Ciriaco, Gomez, and Justin Germano. WHAT, NO TONY PENA AND HIS WEIRD MUSTACHE THAT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE HIS DAD?!

4. Charles Leesman used to play for the Cincinnati Steam, which is not a minor league hockey team.

TONIGHT! It's Brandon Duckworth Naturally v Simon Castro. I hope something good happens.



6.26.12 PawSox v Charlotte Knights - CK Won

Charlotte Knights win, 8-0. Oh, Red Sox. Zaleski? You've seen this guy before! Eight hits, no runs?

Starter for Pawtucket was Billy Buckner. Buckner gave up all the runs, including a pair of bombs, during his 4 2/3 innings. Is he ever gonna have a good start? Why did he come here? I'm not mad, it's not his fault. Just maybe people want to see better talent coming up from Portland.

Matt Zaleski threw 112 pitches! He cranked out seven innings, gave up six hits and three walks, and shut out the opposition. Only one of the hits was for extra bases, and that was a double by none other than Mauro Gomez. Take a bow, good sir. Zaleski, you, too. Good work, son.

Charlotte relievers Gregory Infante and Donnie Veal hashed out the remaining innings. Pawtucket rolled out Tony Pena for long relief, and Will Inman, who says shit like "What I have to say to a inhabitant of the Earth in 100 years is similar to what I say to the present inhabitants of Earth. To be creative.", for a nightcap. I can't be too hard on Inman, he's done a good job and I like him. I might even let him fuck my sister.

two things:
1. Conor Jackson, right field, went 3-5 with a double. Evidently, he was on the Boston Red Sox last season for a while. This is the Diamondbacks guy, right? What the hell was I doing?

2. Knights DH Hector Gimenez had four RBI, which is nice for him.

3. Jose Iglesias is back! And just when I was in the throes of Ciriaco-love at SS. And new kid Zach Stewart is in the house and I suppose is pitching for Pawtucket tonight and i am super PISSED that I cannot attend!!!!!!! Also, Josh Kroeger's on the inactive list. Because he's... Inactive? Dancin', prancin' Jeremy Kehrt's back in Maine. The ladies love him there, it is told.

4. "Perhaps Stewart can work a little mound magic for the PawSox, who suffered their ninth straight setback, 8-0 to the Knights Tuesday." - Peter Gobis! Check out his great story, why don't you?

5. Paul Kenyon packs a lot of information into one story, makes a pair of little typos.

6. "Doug Mathis (5-5, 3.94) will take on an unknown Knight on Friday at 7:05." Jon Baker, Pawtucket. An unknown Knight? Sounds like a steamy paperback. Will Mathis be wearing a corset?

7. Matt Zaleski has a pitching clinic in Indiana, as revealed by a warm human interest story.

8. This is a little late, but Tara Franey attended the same Pawtucket/Louisville game that I did on Monday. Everybody loves Corky Miller.

Esta bien, entonces. Tonight we have for you a ragout of Zach Stewart, topped with shaved cremini mushrooms. Charles Leesman goes for Charlotte. Charles? Okay.


6.25.12 Pawtucket Loses Eighth In a Row, Lavarnway Fielding Percentage

Louisville completes the sweep, in spite of being one of the homeliest teams in the IL. 6-3 Bats with the win going to tall, tall Chad Reineke and the L is all for Justin Germano, who had an off night.

Germano was ridden like a rented mule, throwing 103 pitches through seven innings and giving up two home runs at various times. Why is it only Germano that goes that deeply? Why not annihilate Tony Pena's arm or something? I guess they want him to be ready... Ready for BIG LEAGUE BALL. At any rate, four runs and eight hits and a couple of walks were charged to JG. His seventh inning was strong, with two strikeouts and a groundout, but overall it was a rough ride.

Reineke, who says shit like "Happy #Easter everyone. Thank you Jesus for being my Lord and Savior.", pitched 6 2/3 innings and Pawtucket popped out three runs against him. He struck 'em out four times, too. But at first, it looked like it would not be Chad Reineke's night. First batter he faced, Pedro Ciriaco, doubled and then scored on a single by R. Lavarnway. And then in the third inning, second baseman Jonathan Hee led off with a double and Ciriaco tripled him in. A triple! 3-1... For now.

The Bats came flapping back in the top of the fourth, thanks to a homer, a couple of singles, and a double... Tie game after all of that. Pawtucket didn't score after that. And I will tell you why: Mauro Gomez did not play. Mauro Gomez would have said, Pardon me, but let's fuck this shit up. What did Lars Anderson even contribute? And the DH, JC Linares... No hits from him, but I can overlook that for many reasons. WHY NO MAURO GOMEZ?

And not even Josh Kroeger! Did he play the other day? Is he injured? Does his foot hurt and he had to go to the nurse? I just feel like Germano kept the team in the game, but there was minimal production from key hitters.

Alex Wilson pitched the last couple of innings and continues to be unimpressive as a reliever. I guess that's why he's here, to work it all out. Good luck with that.

Louisville relievers Nick Christiani, Travis Webb, and Jordan Smith were a sweet cocktail of relief, extinguishing all the hopes and dreams of Little Jason Repko and Baby Che-Hsuan Lin. Good work, Bats.

Is that everything?

jonathan hee has some defensive shortcomings:
1. I like how Jason Repko plays. He's pretty balls-out. You can tell he wants to be in the big leagues wicked bad. He made a splendid diving catch in the eighth inning, too.

2. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how very nice. Paul Kenyon agrees with me.

3. "Again the deep counts, putting runners on base, they got some two-out hits, they got to him," said Beyeler of Germano. "He didn't pitch that bad, he kept us in the game, we have to swing the bats a little bit better." - Well, well, well, well, well. Arnie Beyeler also agrees with me, according to Peter Gobis.

4. More from Gobis: "Oddly enough, Germano has allowed more HR's than walks (13) over the 97 innings that he has pitched in his first season since coming over from Cleveland as a free agent signee." By the way, Gobis, it's Miguel ROJAS... Not Soto.

5. "The Bats are on a tear right now, winning their 8th straight last night, their 9th of the last 10 games. Felix Perez had a nice day at the office, going 3-4 with a django and a double. Chad Reineke did what was asked of him, but not much more, going 6.2 IP with 3 ER, 4 K, and 2 BB. Jordan Smith and his ears got the save." - Thank you, ManBearPig!

6. Okay, I have a Louisville story: A couple of yrs ago I went to Louisville. I did all the things. There were not that many things, but that's okay. Anyway, on my last day we were hopping the shuttle to the airport and the driver said, Do you mind if I pick these guys up?

Well, I have to tell you that the hotel was like two towers and they were across the road from each other. So the guys he wanted to pick up were in front of the other tower and they were a bunch of PawSox players. HA! Aaron Bates was there... And Dusty Brown.. And Josh Reddick and Lars Anderson and I think Jorge Jimenez... Anyway, yeah. Dan Hoard came along and sat next to me. I was trying so hard not to laugh. The players were just yammering about crap they saw on YouTube and so forth. Truly, the height of wit.

The shuttle took us to the Baseball Bat Factory. Niuman Romero was waiting outside and one of the guys said, "What, did he walk?!" Incredulous. The Factory was like two blocks away. Good for you, Niuman Romero.

TONIGHT! New kid in town, Columbus Clippers. Matt Zaleski will try and keep the PawSox in the gutter. Billy Buckner will probably not help matters, but we'll see.


6.24.12 Doug Mathis misses his family once again.

Louisville Bats once again outdo Pawtucket, taking it 2-0 and laughing all the way. Ryan Feierabend who, oh, may have pitched at McCoy once or twice, got the win for being awesome and sexy and having stamina... IN BED.

No, not in bed. On the mound. ON YOUR MOM'S MOUND! (Sorry.)

Starter for the Pawtucket Red Sox, or the "P-Sox", was Doug Mathis. I have alleged that Mathis possesses a certain suckiness of pitching ability, but I put all that behind me and now I have only the most solicitous and tender feelings toward Doug. Mathis pitched six innings, letting Louisville hit him five times and walking four of 'em. Six bats K'd against Mathis, so that was good. But he gave up two runs, which is two runs more than Pawtucket scored so I hope he gave them what for after the game, especially those bums Lin and Anderson. WHAT, NO HITS TODAY, YOU GUYS?

Ryan Feierabend, or 'Bendy', as he likes to be called, went seven innings, topping off at 95 pitches. If I thought he was a hottie, I might call him "Feierabend Me Over!" He doesn't really pronounce his name that way, though. It's more like Ryan Ferbin'. The Red Sox only managed one lousy hit off him, and guess who that was? No, not Mike Rivera. No, not Alex Hassan, who says shit like "someone threw a rock and crackee my back windshield while we were on roadtrip...bs man!". No, not horse tranquilizers. It was, of course, Mauro Gomez. How could you not guess Gomez? I mean, he's like their best hitter. You're stupid.

Louisville runs: RF Bill Rhinehart, about whom I know nothing, hit an RBI single in the third. Then Joey Gathright hit an RBI single in the fourth inning. rememeber when he was on the PawSox? He was, except I never got to see him play. And I will never ever get over it.

Daniel Bard and Junichi Tazawa combined to pitchzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bard was all over the place, of course, with three walks and a wild pitch and only 16 of his 36 pitches were for strikes. Good work, kid. You'll be back in Boston in no time. JJ Hoover and Donnie Joseph provided exquisite scoreless relief for the Bats.

it's made from monkey cum:
1. The only other Pawtucket kid who got a hit was Alex Hassan, who probably drives a bright blue pickup with KC lights and tractor tires.

2. How come only two umpires are listed for this game? Seth Buckminster, Adam Hamari, and nobody.

3. No, really, for real, seriously, what is wrong with Daniel Bard? Did he hurt himself? Has anyone said for sure what it is and I missed it? Is it bath salts? It's bath salts, isn't it.

4. It was Feierabend's first win of the season. which he started in the Indy leagues. Please enjoy this little story and the accompanying picture of Feierabend as a check-bouncer.

TONIGHT! Pawtucket tries not to get swept again and lose their eighth in a row. Or maybe they won't really try that hard, who knows? Daniel Bard is sucking their will to live. Justin Germano will pitch and Chad Reineke will pitch and we shall see who the real man is. I will attend. In my pajamas.



6.23.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Louisville Bats

Wooden bats at the stadium, very free. Louisville wins again, Pawtucket's staggering and reeling in the ring after losing six in a row. The Bats got 16 hits, took the game 7-5, and then danced with Pawtucket's dates. Eff you, Red Sox. Pitch better!

Starter for Pawtucket was Jeremy Kehrt. Kehrt pitched four innings and Kehrt gave up four runs. One of them was Paul Janish hitting a home run. The Bats racked up four doubles as well while Kehrt was strutting around on the hill. Oh, dear.

Kehrt was followed by Will Latimer for three innings. Latimer worked for three innings and Louisville punked him for two more runs. And then Garrett Mock looked like two innings and another run. Nice. Real nice.

Sean Gallagher was the man for Louisville and he pitched six innings and the Red Sox tickled four runs out of him. Gallagher is from Boston, so he must be an asshole, right? Pedro Ciriaco led off the bottom of the first with a double, which is one of my favorite things about Ciriaco. Such a great leadoff guy. Too bad Jason Repko batted next and reached on a fielder's choice, snuffing out Ciriaco's flame. But Gallagher walked Lavarnway, which turned out nicely for Mauro Gomez, who hit a home run JUST LIKE THAT. 3-0 Pawsox.

In the top of the second, we saw Janish's home run and an RBI single by CF Daryl Jones. 3-2! Top of the third, Bats tie it by way of a sac DP (yup) by Dioner Navarro, who is doing just fine. How does Navarro look these days? Is he wicked fat?

Paul Janish came through again for Louisville with an RBI double in the fifth off Latimer. 4-3 bats. But Pedro Ciriaco led the sixth off with a single, stole second, moseyed over to third on a balk, and scored when Lavarnway hit a fly ball to left. TIE GAME.

Top of the eighth, Latimer gives up a pair of singles and gets the boot. Mock entered the game with no outs and I'm sure he was so scared. Second baseman Miguel Rojas sac bunted everyone over. Good managering, David Bell. So all Felix Perez had to do was single or something, which he did, driving in a run. Mock walked Navarro, and then first baseman Mike Costanzo hit a two-run single. Costanzo. I saw that guy play in the Eastern League All-Star game back in... 2007? It was in Norwich. The fog game with all the sailors and Sergio Santos winning the Home Run Derby and Charlie Zink was there. No, I didn't dream it and no I wasn't high or anything. And then the fire alarms started going off...

Anyhoo, Costanzo tried to make it over to second, but JC Linares hucked the ball in to Anderson, who was covering. OUT!!!

Oh, wait, one more run. Anderson hit an RBI double in the bottom of the eighth. Guess who he drove in? PEDRO CIRIACO. That motherfucker. 3-4 last night. Incredible.

Pawtucket got a couple of dudes on base in the ninth, but Tony Thomas grounded into a double play. Not really his fault. It's all on the pitching. Jordan Smith, who says shit like "At the airport talking to the guy who came up with the invention to make the mountains turn blue on the Coors Light bottles!!", got the save.

No notes today. Information and anecdotes about this game were scarce.

Doug Mathis goes this afternoon for the Red Sox, Ryan Feierabend for Louisville. Let me know how it turns out!

Baby Lars Anderson usually avoids late-night snacking.

"Sour Cream and Onion chips are better than Salt n Vinegar. OH YES I SAID IT."


6.22.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Louisville Bats - Donnie Joseph

Donnie Joseph wins!4-3 in 13 innings. Sorry you don't know who Donnie Joseph is, because he's awesome, even if he says shit like "Revelation 4:11. Read it and believe it." DONNIE!!!

Brandon Duckworth was the starter for the Red Sox and he pitched five innings, but it took 102 pitches for that to happen. He gave up two runs on four hits, a couple of walks, and doled out a pair of K's. One run came in the first inning, by way of an RBI single by left fielder Cody Puckett. Second baseman Kristopher Negron hit a solo home run in the third to top it off at 2-0. Sooo... Duckworth is a Mormon, right?

Righty Pedro Villareal started for the Bats and took things a little deeper, going seven innings and striking out seven Pawtucket guys. Nice. The Red Sox didn't even get to him, really, until the sixth inning. Jason Repko led off with a single and Ryan Lavarnway batted him in with a single. Lavarnway made it over to third when Anderson grounded out, not that it mattered, because Alex Hassan hit a home run, giving Pawtucket the 3-2 lead. Thanks, Hassan.

But the Bats held on, and got lucky when Daniel Bard took over for the seventh. Daniel Bard is Pawtucket's crappiest reliever, and that is because he doesn't care about the team, only himself and his road back to Boston. And so it came to pass that little shortstop Miguel Negron hit a line drive home run to left. TIE GAME FOREVER. Bard followed that beauty up by hitting Joey Gathright with a pitch. Probably not intentionally. But it's nice to see Gathright still getting work.

Nick Christiani entered the game after Villarreal, and did a nice job holding things together for three innings. Pawtucket tossed in three innings by Tony Pena, and three by Will Inman, who took the loss and took it deep and hard. Top o' the thirteenth, RF Felix Perez doubles and DH Daryl Jones singles so Perez can score and they were so happy.

Kanekoa Texeira pitched the bottom of the 13th for Louisville and Pawtucket loaded up the bases, but Nate Spears grounded out to end it all. Bummer. Win goes to Donnie Joseph, who pitched the eleventh and twelfth innings.

i'm in a state:
1. "Pawtucket appeared to have the game won when, with the bases loaded, Bats reliever Nick Christiani let one fly that zipped past catcher Corky Miller. Jason Repko, who broke for home, was thrown out at the plate as Miller quickly fetched the ball and fired to Christiani for the out." - Kevin Geary. Corky Miller still bringing home the bacon.

2. JC Linares went 4-6 last night. So great to have this guy back. Can we get rid of Alex Hassan now? JUST KIDDING.

3. Pedro Ciriaco did not get a hit, ending his streak. Aw. Lars Anderson did not get a hit and struck out three times. I'm sure he took that well.

4. Yesterday the Pawtucket Red Sox unveiled a bronze Ben Mondor statue, which is so wonderful and nice.

5. JOSE IGLESIAS IS ALIVE AND WELL AND REHABBING WITH THE SPINNERS. Did I tell you I just went to a CT Tigers game featuring the Spinners? I did, it was great, I will tell you about it tomorrow.

6. From SoxProspects.com: "Check out who the opposing leadoff batter is in the PawSox game. The Reds apparently signed Joey Gathright out of the indy leagues. And now he's hitting .296/.349/.327/.676 for them. Naturally. " - posted by Yirmiyahu.

TONIGHT! Aaron Cook will start for Pawtucket and Sean Gallagher will try to outdo him. Don't forget, the Bats are the Reds, so maybe you should check the game out after reading this for some good ideas.

Let's eat!


6.21.12 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Syracuse Chiefs - What if I die here?

Syracuse takes it, 3-1, and sweeps the almighty Red Sox. It cracks me up that Pawtucket just swept Buffalo, and I'm sure people who care about that sort of thing are like, WTF, assholes? But aside from people in the biz, I may be the only one who cares about the PawSox road record. Or about what happened to Chip Ambres.

Starter for Pawtucket was Billy Buckner, who is not the guy from The Price is Right. Buckner has not really had a good start yet with Pawtucket. This one doesn't look too bad, since he pitched five scoreless innings. But it's also not exactly thrilling, and neither is Buckner. Yet?

John Lannan started for the Syracuse Chiefs and pitched six innings and gave up a home run to Tony Thomas, who says shit like "Gym time bout to be Beast Mode". That's it. His relief (Pat Lehman, Atahualpa Severino, and Henry Rodriguez) calmly and happily completed the game, tamping the PawSox down like tobacco in a pipe.

Alex Wilson blew the game in the sixth inning by walking Chris Marrero and then somehow allowing Brett Carroll to triple. You may not know this or even need to know this, but Brett Carroll is the hottest hitter in Syracuse right now. Yes.

With Brett Carroll dangling over at third like an irresistible, perfectly seared pork chop, the Most Adorable Shortstop in the World singled, scoring Carroll and sealing the win for Syracuse. Yay and such.

Mark Prior entered the game after Wilson and gave up that last run when second baseman Jim Negrych did that sac fly thing. Did you know that Mark Prior had intentionally walked catcher Koyie Hill? Mark Prior wants to win, THAT'S WHAT. Prior also talks to Daniel Bard a lot, which can only be helpful. Although as a baseball layperson, I would not put extended conversations with Bard very high on my list of fun things to do.

first north:
1. Pedro Ciriaco and Mike Rivera each had two hits. Tony Thomas' home run was one in a recent series. Thomas is hitting a little bit lately, which is nice for him.

2. Conversely, big bat Mauro Gomez has been in a mild slump. And it's nothing that freaky sex can cure.

3. Ben Meyers says the Chiefs are becoming interesting.

4. This one time John Lannan gave up a grand slam five pitches into a game. Oh how I love you, sweet crazy baseball. Also, Lannan wants to be traded and the Rockies may be interested. And also, you're drunk. And this one time Lannan was ejected from his first ever big league game for beanballin' it.

5. Please check out the From Section 207 blog about the Chiefs, especially if you are into minutiae. And dude, I totally sat behind that woman in section 207 this past Monday and the hecklers in that section are hilarious. They ripped on Nate Spears pretty good, which I enjoyed since Nate Spears is so sketchy and weird.

6. "Henry Rodriguez has been placed on the DL with a strained finger. The injury initially occurred when Rodriguez slammed his finger in a door. Just more evidence of Rodriguez trying to slam the door and having something get in the way." - HA.

7. Still no Jose Iglesias, and it's getting weird and I feel like no one is talking about this.

8. Yeah, I went back to Syracuse and while it was not as bad as last time, I have affirmed that it is not anywhere I'm in a rush to return to. It's a nice park, but both nights I was there it was like a morgue. The autograph kids only wanted the Pawtuckets, and the Pawtuckets blew them off so, so horribly that I heard one man wish a fiery van crash upon them. Hey, PawSox: Why can't you be nice like other teams? I'm looking at you, Ryan Lavarnway!

TONIGHT! Pawtucket's back in town, playing the Louisville Bats (CIN). JC LINARES IS BACK OMFGWTFBBQ!!!! I'm so excited!!! Brandon Duckworth Naturally will pitch for the Red Sox, Pedro Villarreal for the Bats.

Great to be back, now let's push hard through ASB.


6.20.12 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Syracuse Chiefs - Short Short

Chiefs win in eleven innings, 6-5, with reliever Hassan Pena picking it up for Syracuse.

Pawtucket starter continues to excel, going seven innings and giving up only one run on three hits. It was a solo home run by catcher Koyie Hill.

Starter for the Chiefs was Mitch Atkins. Atkins pitched six innings and Pawtucket scored four times off him, with their initial shots coming in the fourth inning when outfielder Josh Kroeger hit an RBI double followed by an RBI single by catcher Ryan Lavarnway. I suppose I should add that DH Jason Repko scored a run when Kroger batted him in, because Repko bunted his way on base. Jason Repko has had his guns blazing the past few days, going balls-out in the base running department. But does he get picked off or caught stealing? Yeah. God bless him.

Shortly after the Hill's home run, Pawtucket picked up another pair of runs. Lavarnway and first baseman Mauro Gomez hit back-to-back doubles. There's one. Che-Hsuan Lin hit an RBI single. There's two. 4-1 Pawtucket.

Pawtucket tacked on a fifth run by way of an RBI single by shortstop Jonathan Hee. Hee at short? Yes, Jose Iglesias is still mysteriously not back and Pedro Ciriaco either needed a night off for GP or is smarting from being hit by a throw to first as he was running.

And then Junichi Tazawa and Daniel Bard each coughed up two runs, allowing Syracuse to tie. Garrett Mock gave up three consecutive singles in the bottom of the eleventh, Chiefs win. Whatever, Mock's been decent thus far so I'm not going to say anything. I must find a way to somehow blame Bard.

our chief weapons are:
1. Second consecutive night that Lars Anderson is not in the lineup. I have a theory about this, because I'm not sure it's injury related. I will just say that a couple of days ago, Anderson struck out and then busted up a chifforobe in the Chiefs clubhouse. So maybe his outburst has something to do with it. Anderson's been getting all mad lately when he K's, and that frustration can boil over... Into MURDER.

2. Lavarnway went 4-4, and I'm sure he'd probably say it doesn't matter if the team didn't win, but secretly inside he's euphoric.

Tonight! Chiefs go for the sweep of Pawtucket, which would be nice for those little cellar dwellers. Billy Buckner will oppose John Lannan. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH.



6.17.12 Mike Rivera did what?

Pawtucket Red Sox win again and complete the sweep, 6-1, and geez, Buffalo. Win goes to Brandon Duckworth, whose last start was rough but he had a killer start this time around.

Duckworth pitched six innings like a real man, giving up one run on three hits and striking out nine. And no offense meant to Duckworth, because I really really like him, but when your team strikes out nine times against Brandon Duckworth... It stinks of death.

Daniel Bard pitched a couple of innings when BD was finished, and then Garrett Mock put a bird on it with a scoreless ninth.

Starter for the Bisons was lefty Garrett Olson who pitched and pitched and got one out in the third before being excised like the chocolate part of Neapolitan ice cream. He gave up four runs, including a home run by catcher Mike Rivera, and tossed 73 pitches. Whoa. Olson was followed by a slew of relievers, with the nightcap being Fernando Cabrera pitching a pointless, scoreless ninth.

Let's talk offense! Rivera's homer was the first run for Pawtucket, right at the top of the second. Third inning, Mauro Gomez singled and Alex Hassan walked to put a couple of runners on for... Che-Hsuan Lin. Lin doubled, scoring Gomez. And then Rivera hit a two-run line drive single to center. You know, I feel like this will be the greatest game in Rivera's season. Tony Thomas followed with a hit, which was the end of Olson's night. Jeff Stevens came in and got the last couple of outs in the inning.

A sac fly by Thomas scored a fifth run in the fifth inning. Jenrry Mejia started pitching at the top of the sixth and immediately hit Cody Ross with a pitch, which he had coming. You know. My best friend in the whole world, Pedro Ciriaco, hit a line drive single to left. HIT STREAK! HIT STREAK! 13 GAMES!!!

Gomez walked and Alex Hassan hit an RBI single for the Red Sox' sixth run. Shut up, Alex Hassan.

whaddya got for me, duck?Link
1. "It was approaching 12:30 a.m. and Ryan Kalish was in a hotel room in Buffalo surfing the Internet when the phone rang." - THEY TOOK KALISH AWAY!!!! Also, I think they're trying to say he was watching porn in his hotel room.

2. "Designated “bullpen answer” Jenrry Mejia certainly was not the answer on Sunday, retiring just one of the five batters he faced. He threw under 50% strikes (10 of 22 pitches overall) while giving up a run on two hits, a walk and a HBP before manager Wally Backman pulled him to avoid running his pitch count any higher. He just did not throw enough strikes, although Backman noted that his velocity was up to 96 mph." - Toby Hyde provides 'A Healthy Dose of Yuck'

TONIGHT! Pawtucket heads to Syracuse. Aaron Cook for the Red Sox, Yunesky Maya for the Chiefs. And me, of course. I'm leaving in like 15 minutes but I wanted to do this for you and now I don't have time for breakfast.



6.16.12 Radio was playing, Matt Den Dekker was singing...

Pawtucket Red Sox once again prove there is nothing you can possess which they cannot take away. 8-5, Buffalo Bisons laid low again. Starter Billy Buckner gets his first win, so throw some confetti into his FACE!

Buckner pitched five innings and gave up five runs on seven hits. Not that great of a start. In fact, wasn't there anyone else in Portland they wanted to take a look at? I'M PRETTY SURE THERE IS.

Buffalo starter Jeurys Familia pitched four innings and started the fifth but ran into some trouble at the border. Familia coughed up five hits, but it was probably the six walks that led to his removal. Yeah, 86 pitches, only 46 strikes.

Buffalo left fielder Fred Lewis (Fred?) hit an RBI single in the first inning to put the Bisons up 1-0. The rehabbing Cody Ross, who was on the 2010 World Series Champion SF Giants and was nearly as valuable as Edgar Rentaria, helpfully singled at the top of the third, but was quickly deleted as a baserunner by Pedro Ciriaco's frce out ground ball. Rats! But no te llores, Compostelana: Ciriaco stole second and scored when Ryan Lavarnway singled. TIE GAME! TIE GAME! TIE GAME!

Also in the third inning, Lars Anderson hit an RBI single that scored Ryan Kalish. Oh, forgot to tell you, Kalish walked like right after Ciriaco stole second.

Uh-oh, bottom of the fourth! Buffalo bites back!! Fred Lewis tripled with one out! Is Fred Lewis hot? Hard to be a hottie when your name is Fred these days, but who knows. First baseman Josh Satin drove Fred home with a single, because Josh Satin is allegedly strong. It's in the eyebrows. A single and a walk loaded the bases up. And then a sac fly and a two run single led to a four-run inning. 5-2. 5-3? No, 5-2, cool.

The Red Sox put runners on the corners in the fifth inning, knocking Jeurys Familia out of the game. Josh Edgin, who says shit like "Waiting for to come back and fluff my pillow before we get to far into this 7 hr roadtrip", entered the ColaDome to face Anderson. Anderson grounded out, but the runner scored from third. 5-3.

I suppose I need to address the sixth inning, although I am short on time. Nate Spears led off with a double. Jonathan Hee walked, Cody Ross grounded into a force and discoed over to first base. New pitcher for Buffalo, Pedro Beato. Bisons manager Wally Backman was ejected, and I believe it was over whether Josh Satin tagged Ross or not. Satin says he tagged him. But then i am not even certain this really happened, but Backman go kicked out.

Okay, yeah, that's what happened according to the Buffalo paper: "The Bisons had a 5-3 lead in the sixth and Backman’s blowup came after Cody Ross, down on injury rehab from Boston, was ruled safe at first base on the back end of a double-play attempt. Brad Emaus’ relay throw was wide and Ross tried to elude Satin’s swipe tag. Ascani ruled the runner safe and Backman immediately threw his cap down at the top step of the dugout."

Pedro Ciriaco hit a line drive single to right and damn, he's hitting lately! Spears scores, Ross to second and replaced by Alex Hassan. Alex Hassan is so boring. Kalish reached on an error to load the bases for... Lavarnway. Wild pitch, Hassan scores, Lavarnway doubles, two more runs score, Lavarnway to third on an error by Fred Lewis. Do it to me... Fred. You're an animal... Fred. Ride me, Big... Fred.

And then Anderson hit an RBI single. No more runs scored, thank you. Pawtucket relievers consisted of Junichi Tazawa and his three innings of lightness and being, and Mark Prior, who is no Mark Melancon.

we all come from unloving homes:
1. I just looked it up and Fred Lewis is actually pretty cute. Sorry, Fred.

2. Mauro Gomez, no hits and two strikeouts. "It's okay, you're still awesome!"

3. “I got four kids and I bet my kids’ life the guy was out,” Backman said. “All I did was ask for help, told him there was no way I was leaving here until he asked for help. He wouldn’t ask for help. That’s why you have three umpires: To be able to get together and get the play right. He got the play wrong.” - Mike Harrington! Terrific! Can I just say that it's pretty weak that there's no local coverage for Pawtucket away games? LET ME DO IT.

4. "The Bisons might have thought it was there night after Jeurys Familia walked the bases loaded in the second and got out of it with a pop-up and a 6-4-3. They would have been wrong. The wheels came off shortly after, as Familia struggled to find the plate all night, and a blown call on a double play in the sixth led to a five-run rally for the PawSox. Familia is a mess right now and has walked 44 batters in 64 AAA innings. Ungood." - from Amazin' Avenue, which is... Amazin'.

5. "Watching Familia pitch is frustrating. He walks guys when he gets ahead in the count 0-2. He walks guys when he falls behind 3-0. He was throwing hard enough, but just can’t find the strike zone consistently enough. He induced a pair of double-plays which helped limit the damage against him. His curveball induced weak contact and groundballs all night. In 60 innings this year, he’s fanned 60 and walked 38." - from Toby Hyde's Mets Minor League Blog.

6. "Another questionable start for Jeurys Familia… tonight just didn’t work for him and, frankly, I seem to writing about things like this too often. Tonight, it was only four innings, 86-pitchers, only 46 strikes. One, I repeat, one strikeout, and six, I repeat, six walks. Now, we can add to this a bad outing by both Josh Edgin (1.1-IP, 2-ER, 4.44) and Pedro Beato (0-2-IP, 3-R). Add to that four areas and, boy, didn’t that come to Jesus talk by Wally the night before really work?" - from Mack's Mets

This afternoon, oh my lord it's Duckworth again! Garrett Olson will face Pedro Ciriaco and co. You like that? I'll bet you love it...

I may swing by tomorrow, but it's the morning of my big trip so... we'll see how I feel when my alarm goes off. BYE.


6.15.12 PawSox defeat Buffalo, and all I can think of is beer.

Justin Germano, doin' it well, 5 2/3 with one run and the Red Soxes win 8-3. Germano only gave up one run, a homer to CF Matt Den Dekker, who says shit like "Big deal your the spelling bee champion, I have auto correct on my phone." (HA.) Thank you, Justin Germano, for the sustained excellence.

Starter for the Bisons was our dear friend Dylan Owen, who didn't last long... But long enough to get the loss. Owen pitched three innings and gave up four runs, including two home runs. His Merry Band of Five Relievers worked it out for the rest of the game, with Jack Egbert being notably bad for his one inning.

Pawtucket scored first in this game, with shortstop Pedro Ciriaco leading off with a home run. I have to meet Pedro Ciriaco. I have to figure out a way. Do you think he speaks Spanish? And then in the top of the third, Tony Thomas himself hit a solo home run, his fifth of the year. And now he has more home runs than Nate Spears! EAT IT, NATE SPEARS!

Oh, hang on, I can't leave the third inning yet. Ciriaco Reached on an error, Ryan Lavarnway walked. Lars Anderson hit an RBI single, scoring Ciriaco. That's 3-0 to you, Flapjack. Alex Hassan also hit an RBI single, but it wasn't as pretty as Anderson's. 4-0 Pawtucket. And I guess that killed Dylan Owen.

Reliever Jack Egbert stepped into the void for the fourth inning, and Nate Spears got to him first with a double. Then Ciriaco doubled, scoring Spears. But the best part is Ryan Kalish, because he went yard and circled the bases. Yup. 7-1. And that is Dallas.

Innings 5-8, no runs scored. Mauro Gomez doubled and we saw Jenrry Mejia, Manny Acosta, and Jeff Stevens pitch for Buffalo. Pawtucket tossed in Alex Wilson and Tony Pena Jr. And now I am wondering why Germano left the game relatively early?

Top of the ninth, and IL saves leader and explosively hot Fernando Cabrera takes over on the mound. HE CAN TAKE OVER... Never mind. Anderson hit a home run, which is the real truth. Which is also the same as an entertaining lie. Will Inman pitched the bottom of the ninth for the PawSox, and you knew we couldn't get out of the game without some Valentino Pascucci muscle. Pascucci hit a home run, because he is a freaking giant. And Inman's so little!

two things:
1. Josh Kroeger got the night off, which makes sense as he leads the team in appearances. And still no Jose Iglesias.

2. This is what I am talking about and WHY CAN'T I HAVE THIS?! It's 130 miles from Syracuse to Buffalo...

3. "On the bright side, Matt den Dekker hit his first AAA home run, Jenrry Mejia tossed a scoreless inning out of the pen, and both Ronny Cedeno and Justin Turner made rehab appearances and are probably less than a week away from joining the big club." - from Amazin' Avenue

4. Ciriaco went 4-5 and was a triple shy of the cycle. Ciriaco is like my Justin Beiber. I am such a fan. Should I kill him?

5. Mike Harrington again has a most excellent game story: "The only time [Ciriaco] didn't get a hit was in the third, when his infield pop-up dropped in for an error charged to first baseman Josh Satin. Owen was bumped near the mound by third baseman Matt Tuiasosopo and Satin didn't make a move at the ball when that mild collision happened, bringing plenty of hoots from the crowd."

6. Dave Doyle talks about Den Dekker and provides video of his first Triple-A home run.

7. Ten thousand people came to this game. Nice work, Buffalo!

8. Not much recognition for Germano's good work in Pawtucket, but he's mention briefly here on Bosox Banter.

9. Sorry, John Green also mentions JG.

TONIGHT! Billy Buckner v Jeurys Familia. Yeah, I've seen this movie before. Oh, shit, day game...



Allen and Beth like the IronPigs.

Recently I went to Pennsylvania to see the Pawtucket Red Sox play the Lehigh Valley IronPigs.

Instead of staying in Allentown, I stayed in Bethlehem, which was so very nice that my PawSox trip turned into a few days in Bethlehem where I also attended some baseball games. How come no one told me that this town existed? It's so lovely, you should totally go.

You can really see how popular the team is. The place was bumping, even for a game that was eventually rained out. FREE HAT, though.

On Sunday, immediately after the game ended, lightening struck and it began to hail like fury. Little bullets of ice rattled the empty seats in the ballpark. And still they sent the ball boy out to the dugout to pick up their crap.

The ballpark is the same as Syracuse, Norfolk, Buffalo. But I liked it!

By the way, there is absolutely nothing to do in Lehigh Valley on a Sunday night. I wound up at the hotel bar...

Sorry, that's all I have. Nothing terribly exciting happened.

6.14.12 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons - Doug Mathis Occasionally

Doug Mathis wins, with six shutout innings. I would like to say something scathing, but turns out I'm just really bored.

Oh yeah, the final score was 3-0. Whoops, 5-0, sorry.

Matt Harvey started for Buffalo, and while I didn't expect Total World Domination, I thought he would at least take down Ryan Lavarnway and Co. Harvey pitched seven innings and amassed ten strikeouts, so that was good. But Pawtucket likes to hit a little bit, and they finally scored some runs in the sixth inning. My favorite boy Pedro Ciriaco led the inning off with a single, Harvey walked Josh Kroeger (because Kroeger is now batting second, you guys), then gave up a home run to catcher Ryan Lavarnway. I think Lavarnway's home run comes from his Hardship Goatee. Which is not pulling off, by the way. He's too generically clean-cut.

Okay, what else? Buffalo reliever Jeff Stevens came in for the eighth inning, Ciriaco got him for a double. Josh Kroeger hit a fly ball single to left, scoring PC. Thank you, Josh.

And in the ninth inning, reliever Pedro Beato walked Che-Hsuan Lin, made some kind of error picking Lin off which allowed Lin to stand on third base. Lin scored when Nate Spears did something. No, wait, it was Tony Thomas and a sacrifice fly. In the conservatory.

Garrett Mock closed the game out against his former team. "How does it feel to pitch/bat against your former team?" - Every lame sportswriter around the world.

Daniel Bard also pitched, but enough about that.

peace brother, here's your half:
1. "With his changeup looking better than it has at any time this season, New York's No. 1 draft choice in 2010 had the International League's top hitting team completely baffled. Harvey retired the first 11 hitters before Ryan Lavarnway's two-out walk in the fourth and 17 of the first 18, carrying a no-hitter through two outs of the sixth." - Buffalo's Mike Harrington. I love this guy. I forgot to tell you this, but you know how I love pointing out the errors of paid sportswriters? Mike Harrington is the only one who ever apologized for his error after I pointed it out. Class all the way. And today I think I would like to be a sportswriter so I am going to do it, except I'm not going to suck or be boring.

2. By the way, Harrington spells it 'Harvery' at one point. Sorry.

3. " On the other side, the Bisons were pretty much determined not to score in this one. Of their seven total base runners, four of them were erased by way of the double play ball." - from 'Amazin' Avenue'

4. “Once he gave up the hit, he seemed to lose a bit of focus, he finally got out of the inning. Seven innings is as far as he’s gone all year.” - Bisons manager Wally Backman, as revealed by Andrew Kulyk.

5. Toby Hyde on Matt Harvey. The Mets have some fine bloggers, rivaling those of the Pirates. They provide the best IL team coverage. For me.

TONIGHT. Tony Pena Jr v Dylan Owen. Ordinarily I would say something about how Pena sucks, but I guess Triple-A can't exist without guys like him that they don't give a crap about.

Uh, bye, I guess.


6.12.12 Red Sox v Braves - "If I were him, I would stay put!"

Pawtucket somehow manages to win, 4-1. The pitchers should all chip in and buy a bouquet for Mauro Gomez, who stood out in the rain last night.

Pawtucket starter Brandon Duckworth was throwing a lot of mush last night, but worked it out through 5 2/3 innings. In the early innings, he just kept putting people on base, giving up hits and walking people, then wriggling out of it. Right fielder Felix Pie led the second inning off with a double and then later scored on a single by third baseman Josh Wilson. So is that the same Josh Wilson who was on the PawSox for like five minutes back in... 2007? Well, it was 2008, but yeah.

So Duckworth didn't get the win. It was reliever Alex Wilson, who stepped into the sixth inning after Duckworth's departure. Wilson went on to pitch the seventh inning as well, giving up one hit and no runs, obviously. And then you should have seen Mark Prior in the eighth inning. Yuck! Prior's first obstacle was Felix Pie, so he hit him with a pitch. Pie stole second and scooted over to third on a wild pitch. Prior struck out second baseman Lance Zawadzki, walked Wilson, struck out the catcher, Boscan, walked LF Jose Constanza, then struck out Luis Durango to end the inning. I truly thought Prior was going to walk in a run, as he kept getting up to 3-0 on like every batter, but WTF. Durango struck out looking. Only took Prior 33 pitches!

Junichi Tazawa also struggled to throw strikes in the ninth, but got the save for the Red Sox. By that point, it was wet and the park was empty and some fans were getting vocal and it was after ten and no one cared.

Starting pitcher for the Gwinnett Braves was Kris Medlen, who's rehabbing and says shit like "dude absolutely rakes!! More contact than Hessman though. More pop than Barbaro Canazares. Glove.... Improving. :)". (Medlen is talking about big, sexy first baseman Ernesto Mejia, although I don't take kindly to the poke at HESSMANIA!) (Also, Medlen didn't really say anything too dumb, so I kind of dig him!) Medlen doesn't look like much, but in spite of the end result, I think he pitched rather well!

So remember how the Braves scored a run off Duckworth in the second? Felix Pie, remember? Well, Pawtucket immediately tied it in the bottom of the second by way of a ground ball out with a runner on third. Boring, but there it is. The Red Sox didn't score again until the sixth inning. Left fielder Lars Anderson singled and moved to second on a wild pitch and then Mauro Gomez said, here, let me help you with that, and SHAPOW! Home run like nothing. Two more runs, 3-1. I guess when Medlen hit him in the fourth, he predicted this.

And in case your heart isn't full enough, in Gomez' next at-bat he hit another home run. Against his former team! And that is why Hyder chose Gomez to interview for his post-game dish on the field. Gomez used a translator, which I have a feeling he might not have needed, but sometimes we all need those training wheels. I certainly did when I spent my winter in Venezuela being awesome and a local celebrity and an MVP with a catchy nickname!

and now mark melancon is gone and i hate everything:
1. I like Tazawa but he is no Melancon. God, this is going to suck without him.

2. No hits and three K's for Ryan Kalish and I'm sure he felt every inch of it. And no hits for Lavarnway. Pedro Ciriaco had a tough night as well, getting picked off or caught stealing every time he got on base. Maybe I should tip my cap to JC Boscan, who just returned from Atlanta where he was filling in for Brian McCann. In the bedroom, with McCann's wife! ZING!

3. I guess Kris Medlen had a blog?

4. Mike Delrio provides a very nice game recap.

5. Okay, so Kris Medlen is being converted from a reliever to a starter. I learn so much when I do this.

6. Where the hell has Peter Gobis been? Here he discusses Lars Anderson with a few game details. I will add that when I hear fans talking about Anderson in the seats around me at McCoy, they have essentially given up on him. And I don't know anything, but it has to be a serious bummer for Anderson... Kind of in a slump right now and getting stuck out in left field... He looked miserable out there in the rain last night. Anderson was replaced by Hassan in the ninth, though, in what was probably a defensive change.

7. And where is Kevin Pereira?

8. From SoxProspects.com: "Most of the AAA bullpen is too dominant for AAA: Tazawa, Wilson, Mortensen, Mock. I don't like the front office's "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" approach to all the fringy guys in the bullpen. I'm much more in favor of a "quit while you're ahead" approach." - Posted before the game by 'Yirmiyahu'.

TONIGHT! No game, nothing. But then Pawtucket goes to Buffalo to face the Mighty Matt Harvey. Doug Mathis will attempt to retain some dignity in the Empire State.

I love you, Mauro Gomez.


6.10.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Gwinnett Braves - Que fuerte, Germano

Well, well, well, Justin Germano. Your entire season has been leading up to this. Pawtucket wins 6-1 and Germano pitches a complete game. 108 pitches, 70 for strikes, 13 ground ball outs, seven flyouts, 4 K's, 2 BBs, three hits and one earned run. The game was only two hours and 26 minutes long. And if you were there, you are so lucky.

Opposing pitcher was righty Eric Junge. Junge pitched 6 2/3 innings and gave up six runs on eight hits and wore his loss like a crown of thorns. Reliever Jaye Chapman, who says shit like "you should ask yourself what in life are you missing that money can bring you", pitched the remainder of the game and allowed no further runs.

The Braves actually scored first, when Ernesto Mejia (the rather ruggedly handsome first baseman) hit a solo home run in the second inning. And then the score was 1-0 forever and Pawtucket was like, DAAAGHGG HULK NOT DRIVE RUNNERS IN! That is, until inning seven, when everything exploded all over your FACE! Left fielder Lars Anderson led off with a single, then our dear friend Mauro Gomez doubled to put runners at the corners for big, strong, mean, dirty, Josh Kroeger. Which could have been cool, except Kroeger got IBB'd to load the bases. But then Junge walked Alex Hassan, scoring Anderson, which was perhaps not his desired result.

Third baseman Nate Spears was next, and he hit a two-run single. Spears reached second base on a throwing error by Stefan Gartrell. And no wonder: Gartrell's long shirt sleeve must have been a real impediment. And then the greatest thing happened: Jonathan Hee tripled! Two more runs scored. Ryan Kalish later hit a ground ball to score Hee, adding the sixth run. All in one inning, like a nice neat little package.

No hits last night for Ryan Kalish, but we still love him, don't we?

two things:
1. "After intentionally walking PawSox center fielder and number six batter Josh Kroeger to load the bases with none out in the seventh, Braves pitcher Eric Junge followed by walking right fielder Eric Hassan." - Eric Hassan!

2. This one time Eric Junge had an astronaut experience with Kevin Millwood.

TONIGHT! Yohan Flande will hopefully flambe Daniel Bard (sorry). No, I still want Pawtucket to win... I just want Bard to get racked. Is that wrong?


There are several players on the Gwinnett Braves that I have never heard of.

Braves win, 5-4. Win goes to Jose Lugo, of the Richmond Lugos. Tony Pena takes the loss, accompanied by some sad, walking away music.

Pena pitched five innings and gave up two runs. Well, at least he held out until the fifth inning, when Braves CF Luis Durango hit a two-run single. Pawtucket relievers Junichi Tazawa and Garrett Mock each pitched a pair of innings, with Tazawa giving up one run and Mock giving up two. Each of those guys were attacked by a home run. And here it comes... can't you feel it baby?

Lefty Jose Lugo held Pawtucket down until the sixth inning, but was no match for the mighty Ryan Kalish, who hit a fly ball to center that just kept going... Home run! I guess you had to be there. Ryan Kalish is so happy, you guys. And everybody wants to be around him! At this point, Kalish could sell whiskey... I'd buy it. I'm buying what he's selling. What I am saying is that I want to have sex with Ryan Kalish.

The Red Sox scored a second run in the eighth inning when first left basefielder Lars Anderson hit an RBI double. Perhaps he had a therapy session? CLEAR YOUR INSTRUMENT, ANDERSON. Mauro Gomez had singled, so good fucking thing. I like Mauro Gomez.

Top o' the ninth, Gwinnett scored a couple more runs. Pawtucket was chasing them at the bottom of the ninth, when reliever Cory Gearrin, who says shit like ""LORD, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing..." ~Psalm 16:5", led things off by hitting Mike Rivera with a pitch. WHAAAAAATTT?!?!? Yes, that really happened. And then later in the inning Pedro Ciriaco batted Rivera in and Kalish batted Ciriaco in. But that last tying run proved elusive, and the Braves held on to win 5-4. And also, I love Pedro Ciriaco the most on the PawSox. He is my favorite. Don't even talk to me about his K rate, okay? In my imagination we are friends and we go ride the carousel in Westerly.

lance zawadski hit two doubles:
1. Second baseman Lance Zawadzki hit two doubles for Gwinnett. I must get to know this guy.

2. Holy fuck, Ryan Kalish went 4-5 last night. Incredible. I want his life.

3. Please read Hyder's Kalish story, because you will love it.

4. Here's one for the ladies: Ryan Kalish getting a haircut.

5. Josh Kroeger went 0-4 with a strikeout.

TONIGHT! Todd Redmond v Justin Germano. Or this afternoon, what day is it? I would to stay and chat, but... Sundays are tough.


6.8.12 Pawtucket v Indianapolis - Kroeger Takes Over

Indianapolis avoids the sweep and wins 8-6 in 13 innings. I'm still not sure how I feel about Aaron Goldsmith. But I know I like Adam Goldberg! The win goes to... You know what, who cares?

Starter for the Indians is New England kid Jeff Locke. You may remember my Jeff Locke story from last year. Oh, who am I kidding? You have no idea. Locke pitched five innings and gave up three runs on four hits. He struck out seven batters, too, if you can believe it. Locke gave up a home run to Mauro Gomez, but lots of guys do that so we won't excoriate him for that.

Starter for Pawtucket was this Daniel Bard character. Poor Daniel Bard. I feel so bad about his struggles. NOT! Sorry, I have a hard time sympathizing, as I have real world problems like 'paying my bills' and 'having a shitty job' and 'living in a bankrupt city'. Bard gave up three runs, so WELCOME BACK TO THE IL, KID.

Do I need to break it down for you? I do? Okay, but fair warning: Doug Mathis figures prominently. Doin' it right, taking me through the night, Mark Melancon! So first inning, first half, first batter, Chase d'Arnaud, brother of Travis, guy who says shit like "My name is a verb, noun, bank, and lounge chair lol", Chase gets hit by a pitch. HA! D'Arnaud stole second base, which worked out well because Gorkys Hernandez singled, placing d'Arnaud at third. And then... Bard hit Starling Marte with a pitch. A force out scored d'Aranud, then Jeff Larish hit a two-run double to make it 3-0.

Top of the third and it's Doug Mathis' gig now. RF Brandon Boggs hits an RBI single. 4-0! However, the bottom of the third was when Gomez hit his home run and it was a big one: Two runners on base so's he could rack up three runs. 4-3!

Bottom of the sixth, reliever Evan Meek came in for Locke. Tony Thomas hit a solo home run off him, tying the game and delighting the fans. The kids love Tony Thomas. 4-4 after six innings!

Uh-oh, though. Yamaico Navarro hit a solo homer in the top of the seventh. Indians up 5-4.

At this point you are possibly wondering where Lars Anderson, Nate Spears. and Josh Kroeger were. Well, I believe that Anderson is struggling and got the night off. Spears and Kroeger, however, came into the game in the eighth inning because all of a sudden everybody wants to win. The numbers tell us that never happened, but Pawtucket did tie it up in the bottom of the ninth when Ciriaco and Lavarnway both doubled in some combination, scoring a fifth run for the Red Sox.

Extra innings! Here's a quick breeze through some stuff that happened: Mark Prior pitched, Che-Hsuan Lin hit two triples (!!!!!), Tony Thomas was intentionally walked (flattering), Will Inman pitched, Jeff Larish got ejected after striking out looking, the Indians and the Red Sox each scored a run in the twelfth, Kroeger failed at a stolen base attempt, and IT'S THE TOP OF THE THIRTEENTH INNING AND EVERYTHING GOES KERFLOOEY!

Top of the thirteenth! Will Inman walks Anderson Hernandez. D'Arnaud bunts, Inman cannot handle it and makes a throwing error, everybody's safe. Gorkys Hernandez flies out, Lin makes a throwing error, two RISP for Starling Marte, who hits a two-run single. Oh, dear. Game over. Good night.

Loss goes to Will Inman. Sorry about that.

stow it, vera:
1. rYAN kALISH HIT TWO DOUBLES AND cHE-hSUAN lIN WENT 3-6. Ooops... Caps Lock.

2. Alex Wilson also pitched. He is not at all fat.

3. Off topic, but did you see this story about Anderson giving away a vacation to a woman in a supermarket? WTF. All I could think was... If I were shopping and I noticed Lars Anderson walking toward me, I would very calmly abandon my carriage in the aisle and walk out the door. This is because I've always been paranoid that a player is going to have a beef with something I've said and will attack me in some way. Which is ludicrous, because I am so sure they give a crap. But still. I get paranoid.

4. Killer headline, Ron Juckett: "Daniel Bard's Pity Party Act Starting to Wear Thin After Red Sox Demotion"

5. Eff you, Napoleon Bardamite: "The best thing about throwing down here (in the minors) is that you can kind of throw out the results and not worry about wins and losses too much." I'm sure the guys who have been in Pawtucket this whole time really appreciate your disregard.

6. Here are the lyrics to 'Riders on the Storm':

Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm, riders on the storm
Riders on the storm

7. John Rooke mentions some stuff that happens with the PawSox in an article reminiscent of
Mark Patinken. Except way better, because can we kill Mark Patinken already?

8. Why are you reading this when you could be reading Al Daniel: Providence Sports Scribe? "Despite pitching six times as many innings as Bard, Mathis tamed the Tribe much more proficiently. Even as he elevated his single-night pitch count to an easy season-high of 105, Mathis finished strong by striking out three of four batters in the seventh."

TONIGHT. Gwinnett Braves are in town featuring Julio Teheran! Tony Pena opposes, will likely go down in flames. I'll toss some gas on him!


6.7.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Indianapolis Indians - Karstens

Red Sox snag another one, 5-3. Righty Brandon Duckworth had a great start, going six innings and giving up three runs (one unearned) on four hits. Duckworth doled out two walks, but he struck out eight batters, which has to be a season high for him. The win deservedly goes to him.

And then there's Maude: Jeff Karstens and his final rehab start. Karstens pitched four and a third and was feelin' alright as far as getting outs. But in the fifth inning, after giving up a couple of hits with one out, Karstens was removed from the game due to tightness in his right groin. All one can really say is 'D'oh.'

The Indians were looking good, initially. They put up their first run in the second when big boy Jeff Clement and former PawSox great Yamaico Navarro hit back-to-back doubles. Production from the infield, who doesn't love that? And then in the top of the third, with one out, shortstop and cutie-pie of renown Chase d'Arnaud hit a single. D'Arnaud went ahead and stole second, then advanced to third when Pedro Ciriaco missed a catch at short. D'Arnaud managed to score when LF Gorkys Hernandez grounded out. 2-0 Indianapolis!

Top o' the fifth! Indians DH Jake Fox led the inning off with a walk. Catcher Tony Sanchez followed that ish up with a line drive to left, moving Fox over to third with no one out. D'Arnaud hit a fly ball to center, allowing Fox to score. 3-0. Uh-oh, you guys.

Hang on. Bottom half of the fifth. Karstens still in, and I wonder how his groin was at that point? Had it been sore since the first or did it just happen suddenly? Did he think he could pitch through it but it became steadily more uncomfortable? You can't even touch it, because the trainers notice when you're, say, wincing and grabbing parts of your body. Anyhoo, Mauro Gomez struck out looking, then Josh Kroeger doubled. Kroeger would then score on a single by Alex Hassan. And that was it for Karstnes. Kasrtens. KARSTENS!! Consarn it, why is his name so hard to type?

New pitcher, Duke Welker. Catchy name, Phil. Welker is wicked tall and says shit like "Thank you Lord for Dying on the Cross!! and thank you for Skype!!!" Welker gave up back-to-back singles to Nate Spears and Mike Rivera, scoring Hassan. HERE COME THE PAWTUCKETS!! 3-2 after five.

Bottom of the sixth, Welker still going at it. He walked left fielder Lars Anderson with one out, then hit Mauro Gomez with a pitch. On purpose, right? Well joke's on you, sucka, because porn-loving Josh Kroeger hit a three-run homer. 5-3 is your final score.

Is that all? No, Evan Meek pitched a little bit for Indianapolis. I love that guy! For the Red Sox, we saw Clayton Mortensen do some middle relief, and King of the Bullpen Mark Melancon close it out and get the save. His eleventh save. God bless you, you nutty Texan.

two things:
1. The general consensus around the internet is that Melancon srsly needs to return to Boston. Is there such a thing as internet consensus? I like to think so.

2. Starling Marte went 0-4 with three K's.

3. Jeff Karstens makes uncomfortable pitching faces.

4. "Even with a protracted wait to perk up and without the services of the two radiant Ryans, the patient Pawtucket Red Sox found a way to end Brandon Duckworth’s winless skid. " - Providence Sports Scribe. Never change, Al Daniel. Ever.

5. I never noticed this PawSox coverage before, but here's "kturner" on Rhody News.

6. Here's a very nice story on Brandon Duckworth. Please not that it is not a local source, because all the sportswriters around here have their heads up their asses and don't chase after any good stories or profile players who aren't ranked prospects. Except me. And maybe sometimes Hyder and McGair.

7. I just wanna give a big shoutout to Pittsburgh Pirates bloggers. Whenever Pawtucket plays Indianapolis, I know I can depend on them for info, reaction, analysis. They are so informed and passionate and get zero credit from other cities' sports fans. Thanks so much, you guys.

TONIGHT! Daniel Bard v Jeff Locke. By the way, I had a killer time in Lehigh Valley. I promise to reveal all secrets soon. But now I have to go so buh bye.


6.6.12 The new kid, the one who's struggling, the little guy, the one with the big nose, the one with the bad reputation, and the enigma.

Pawtucket Red Sox win again, 6-5. Recent call-up Billy Buckner got the start, but the win went to reliever Garrett Mock.

Buckner pitched four innings, giving up four runs on seven hits. Better luck next time, kid. Buckner had three walks and three K's during his brief appearance. His ERA is currently 9.00, but there's a little time to work on that.

Buckner's junk drawer relief included Tony Pena Jr (And if you guessed that Pena gave up the fifth run, DING DING DING!!), Junichi Tazawa, Will Inman, Garrett Mock, Mark Melancon, and Travis Hughes. Okay, maybe not the last one. Melancon got the save, because he's so big and strong.

Starter for the Indianapolis Indians was Rick VandenHurk, who's been around a bit and perhaps slept with a lady. Sorry, it's actually van den Hurk. Whatever, he pitched five innings and gave up five runs. Bryan Morris pitched the final three innings and took home the loss. To his wife, who was up late doing the laundry she sometimes takes in to make a little extra money. Cheer up, Bryan.

You may be surprised to find that the Indians scored hard and fast before Pawtucket did. Top of the first, leadoff batter and shortstop and chocolatier Chase d'Arnaud hit a home run off Buckner. A couple of doubles and a walk later, you had Indianapolis up 3-0.

Third baseman Nate Spears led off the third inning with a walk. That's all I wanted to tell you because I love it when Nate Spears walks. Okay, but there's more: Spears to second on a wild pitch, then he stole third. Ryan Kalish walked and then Lavarnway was batting and got on base thanks to an error... An error which also scored Spears and Kalish! 3-2!!

Both teams picked up a run in the fourth inning, making the score 4-3. Top of the fifth, right fielder and recreational rosin user Brandon Boggs hit an RBI double. 5-3! But the Red Sox tied it, wanna know how? Local housewife had one weird old trick! Additionally, Ryan Kalish and Ryan Lavarnway hit back-to-back solo homers. That is because Kalish is a champion. He even willed Lavarnway's homer into existence from the dugout!

And so the game was tied for a while. Bottom of the eighth, Che-Hsuan Lin hit an RBI single. Thanks for this. 6-5 Pawtucket and Melancon put a stamp on it.

the indians stole a few bases:
1. Indianapolis stole eight bases, most of them off Buckner. Blame defensive liability Ryan Lavarnway.

2. By the way, the Pawtucket paper is still covering the Pawsox, except it doesn't seem to be available on line. You have to buy the newspaper, perhaps out of a box you put change into.

3. Speaking of which, here's a Mark Prior story that may look good in your portfolio as you look for a job at a better newspaper.

4. "In the 8th, though, a d'Arnaud error put Laaaaarrrrrssss on first to lead off the inning and a Jose Morales wild throw sent him to third. From there he scored the eventual winning run. Gorkys Hernandez went 2-3 with two doubles and two walks. Clement finished 2-4. D'Arnaud made four outs after the HR and left six runners on base. I blame Neal Huntington for the loss for not trading for Laaaaaarrrrssss." - WTM on Bucs Dugout. The Pirates wanted Lars Anderson?


6. Here's a little something about Che-Hsuan Lin. It's not in English, but have at it, polyglots.

TONIGHT!!! Brandon Duckworth will take on skinny boy Jeff Locke. I am pretty sure I won't be going, as I have a standing engagement on Thursday nights. I TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE. But you go, really, and say hello to all the kidz for me.



6.5.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Indianapolis Indians (PIT) - Freak Out

Pawtucket WINS! 13-2 in a game that was not so much a game as a childhood fever dream. Or like taking LSD in the park. And the best pitcher Pawtucket faced was the freaking right fielder for the Indians, Brandon Boggs. It was that kind of night.

Your starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Justin Germano. Germano pitched six innings and only gave up one run, a solo thing by left fielder Jeff Larish. Germano struck out five and didn't walk anybody. Mark Prior and Daisuke Matsuzaka combined to pitch the last couple of innings, with Matsuzaka giving up one run toward the end of the game.

Wait, hold on! Reverse that! It was Crazy Backwards Day at McCoy Stadium, with starting pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka only pitching an inning and a third, mostly because he was terrible last night. After Matsuzaka gave up a single to RF Brandon Boggs in the second, he was guided, gently, dugout-ward so he could perhaps take a hot shower, call his mother, have a beer. And so he was replaced by Mark Prior, who is on the Pawtucket Red Sox. Yes, Mark Prior. Not former PawSox great Tim Kester, but Mark Prior, who had been rehabbing. Prior finished the second inning, then went on to pitch a scoreless third. Justin Germano pitched six innings of relief, because he is the biggest, brightest star in the starting ro.

So that was weird, but let's move on. Starting pitcher for Indianapolis was Justin Wilson, and haven't we seen him before? Wilson decidedly did not have it last night, but they let him pitch four innings anyway. Bottom of the first, Indians up 1-0. Wilson walked shortstop Pedro Ciriaco, who I love. And then... And then the greatest thing in the universe happened, which was that Ryan Kalish hit a home run. ATTENTION: RYAN KALISH IS ON THE PAWSOX NOW. And any time Kalish ran or swung a bat or stole a base, I fretted. But I guess the people upstairs know better than I do about Kalish's condition, so I'm sure he was fine. Fine, as in hot. But also as in uninjured.

So after Kalish hit a home run, Lavarnway doubled and Mauro Gomez hit a home run for himself. Mauro Gomez is wonderful. 4-1 Pawtucket.

Pawtucket added a couple more runs in the second, when left fielder Alex Hassan hit a two-run single. The Red Sox scored 13 runs, so it was like making a soft-serve ice cream cone and you just keep holding the lever down and swirling the ice cream on, until it towers on top of the little beige cone. Third inning, Kalish hit an RBI single. He must have been so happy. Fourth inning... Hassan singled but otherwise Wilson got three outs without allowing a run.

And then, oh my god. Bottom of the fifth. PawSox are up to bat, and who is pitching for the Indianapolis Indians? Kris fucking Johnson. KRIS JOHNSON! Where the hell did they dig him up? And it was awesome, he gave up a three run homer to Ryan Lavarnway. HA HA HA EAT IT, JOHNSON!! Lavarnway should have rushed the mound, tackled Johnson, then pissed on him as he lay on his back, struggling to get up like an upended turtle.

Sixth inning, Mauro Gomez doubled, Che-Hsuan Lin walked, then nine-hole batter Tony Thomas batted them both in. On Kris Johnson's watch. Eff you, Johnson. Never come back.

In the bottom of the seventh inning, the Indians sent reliever Jose Diaz to the mound. Diaz... He's, like... Well, he's a big kid. That's about half of it. He is pretty fat. Like Sabathia, but probably bigger. And he wore these crazy glasses and just looked like weirdo on the mound. I loved his glasses, honestly, but Diaz did not look like a reliever. A couple of walks, a couple of singles, and a wild pitch gave Pawtucket two more runs.

And then the Indians right fielder, Brandon Boggs, pitched the eighth inning. I don't know if Pawtucket was just phoning it in with a 13-2 lead, but Boggs set them down in order. He was pretty pleased with himself, too.

what did you do there? i got high!
1. Nobody much at the park last night to see Matsuzaka, Ryan Kalish, Mark Prior, etc. Astounding. Also, Daniel Cabrera was in the stands charting pitches. You maybe remember him as the crazy tall guy who pitched for the Orioles and got into a mess with Boston. I happen to think he is very handsome.

2. The Pirates signed Kris Johnson last December: "Draft picks that go as high as Johnson did, are expected to do a little more than flounder around the minors for years on end." - Nice one, Rumbunter. I still absolutely hate Kris Johnson.

3. Hyder's post-game interview as with Kalish, of course. Kalish essentially said he was having a great time in Pawtucket, with his teammates, helping out the team, etc. For selfish reasons, I want Kalish in Pawtucket for the rest of the season.

4. The big scoreboard at McCoy Stadium was dark last night, which was weird. Should be up tomorrow, right?

5. So is the Pawtucket paper/Brendan McGair no longer doing PawSox stuff? That's messed up and it pisses me off. How can the Pawtucket paper be so spotty in covering the Pawtucket Red Sox? Like they have so much more to fill their pages with. Stupid.

6. Lavarnway went 4-5 and Gomez went 3-5. Anderson did not get a hit and expressed his frustration by yelling 'Fuck' a few times. I'm sure all 19 fans heard him. The pitchers also stacked K's like Hova.

TONIGHT! Billy Buckner's debut. Jeff Karstens will oppose for the Indians. Sounds terrific!