10.15.2012

2012 Pawtucket Red Sox Uniform Numbers

Mark Prior was on the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2012. Much like the newspaper box that doesn't accept nickels, I may never get over this.

These are in chronological order, where if more than one player used the number, the last guy to use it goes last. GOT IT?

2 - Tony Thomas, who I believe won the Spirit Award.

3 - Nate Spears. Confession: When I bowled next to Nate Spears, it was the day after he'd been ejected from a game in which Dylan Axelrod pitched. I set my bowling name to 'Dylan Axelrod', totally intentionally and hoped he'd notice. Not terribly mature. Spears did in fact approach me a couple of times, but only to ask how I was bowling. I like to think he noticed.

5 - Pedro Ciriaco. I missed him so much.

5 - Reynaldo Rodriguez, after they stole Ciriaco.

7 - Josh Kroeger. La Pesadilla's back down in Venezuela, pimp-style, sucking down the Vitamin G and living la vida loca. Good for him.

7 - Andy LaRoche. Somehow landed the flawless and doll-like Heidi Watney. Sometimes he drove in runs.

10 - Jose Iglesias. Such a nice boy.

11 - Ryan Kalish. God knows he tried. Let's hope he returns with a vengeance.

11 - Jason Repko.

11 - Andrew Miller, rehab.

12 - Jonathan Hee. I liked the part towards the end of the season when he started to hit a little.

13 - Rich Sauveur.

15 - Junichi Tazawa.

15 - And then Kalish.

15 - Ryan Dent.

16 - Will Middlebrooks.

16 - Mark Prior. Why 16?

16 - Clayton Mortensen.

16 - Borck Huntzinger. Brock, even. Ha.

17 - JC Linares.

18 - Chorye Spoone. Vanished into thin air.

18 - Jeremy Kehrt. Will take his shirt off at the drop of a hat.

18 - Daisuke Matsuzaka. Rehab.

18 - Zach Stewart.

19 - Will Inman.

20 - Rich Hill, rehab.

20 - Billy Buckner.

21 - Justin Germano. Some birds aren't meant to be caged.

21 - Mark Prior again.

21 - Pedro Beato.

22 - Arnie Beyeler, world famous third base coach.

23 - Mike Rivera.

24 - Che-Hsuan Lin.

25 - Clayton Mortensen.

25 - Daniel Bard. Was so surprisingly pleasant at Poster Night that I felt bad about ripping on him all season. Poster Night has changed my mind about many players. It's such a stardust fantasy!

25 - Bryce Brentz. At the Triple-A Championship, Brentz was like that baker on Sesame Street who fell down the stairs all the time.

26 - Lars Anderson.

26 - Josh Fields.

28 - Gerald Perry, hitting coach.

29 - Alex Hassan.

30 - Alex Wilson.

31 - Tony Pena Jr.

32 - Garrett Mock.

32 - Steven Wright.

32 - Danny Valencia.

33 - Daniel Nava.

33 - Dan Butler. Should be 33.5, because he's exxxtra manly. I'M JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYBODY'S THINKING!

34 - Mauro Gomez.

34 - Jeremy Hazelbaker. Hiked his pants up more than any PawSox player I've ever seen. Does not do anything for his beanpole physique.

35 - Ronald Bermudez.

35 - Aaron Cook.

35 - Chris Hernandez.

36 - Ryan Lavarnway.

36 - Danny Valencia.

37 - Mark Melancon. 'Melancon' is French for 'eggplant', right?

37 - Chris Carpenter. Not the one who's an asshole, the other Chris Carpenter.

38 - Brandon Duckworth, who has conversations with cadavers.

38 - Nelson Figueroa. Love Figueroa, but let's face it: Pawtucket lost the championship because he pitched poorly in Durham.

39 - Jose De La Torre.

40 - Andrew Bailey, rehab. Bailey kicked ass during his rehab start.

40 - Mike MacDonald.

41 - Doug Mathis.

43 - Justin Thomas.

43 - Mike Rivera.

44 - Aaron Cook, rehab.

46 - Ross Ohlendorf.

46 - Daniel Bard.

47 - Mickie Jiang, first base coach and Girl Friday. Also held up a full-length mirror in the clubhouse so Nate Spears could comb his hair in front of it while dancing.

48 - Scott Atchison, rehab... ish?

I think I'm only missing Ryan Dent, so if anyone knows what his number was, hit me up.

This only took three goddamn hours. You can't get this list anywhere else, so you know how lovingly I created it. Glad to be of service. (Note: There may be other resources.)

UPDATE! Sitting Still Kelly hipped me to Dent's number, which was 15. She then added,  "Also when Wright and Valencia were both there but Lavarnway was gone Valencia wore 36." Which sounds like a Penny Press logic problem. Did Valencia carry a polka-dot umbrella and bring yams to the potluck? RYAN LAVARNWAY DID NOT BRING A DESSERT.

STILL MISSING: IVAN DE JESUS, WILL LATIMER, LUIS EXPOSITO, DARNELL MCDONALD, MATT SPRING, SCOTT PODSEDNIK.

10.13.2012

I gave baseball my heart and it gave me a pen.

Well, the NLDS and the ALDS had the worst possible outcomes, didn't they? So am I rooting for the Giants? I am quite fond of Sergio Romo, so I'll say yes. Although if the WS is Yankees/STL, then I may apply for a gun permit.

Sure, sometimes I watch the Yankees... and I want to throw up. It's terribly loud. I do like it sometimes when Curtis Granderson is on. He's so talented.

Malcolm MacMillan went to McCoy Stadium.

Some key points from the founder of TheBallparkGuide.com:

1. "I can see visiting McCoy Stadium being a bucket list item for any die-hard Sox fan, simply because of all the displays."

2. "And just below, are the parking spots reserved for the coaching staff. Here’s the spot belonging to pitching coach and tanned asshole Rich Sauveur, for example: (photo)" - (Italics added by staff.)

3. "The box score for the [Longest] game was absolutely hysterical. Ripken went 2-for-13 and Boggs went 4-for-12, but there were some guys who had horrendous luck. It was a bad time to play center field, apparently. Rochester’s Williams went 0-for-13! And Pawtucket leadoff hitter Graham went 1-for-14. A combined 1-for-27 from center field — yikes!" - Good point. Dallas Williams, right?

4. "And then, thanks to my media pass, a seat directly behind home plate..." - Hold on. So if you have a media pass, you can sit wherever you want? Is that what's going on? Or do the PawSox reserve seats behind home plate for the media? And who is that tall, dark-haired man with the high-tech phone and the black fleece vest I always see? I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING, VESTY!

The story includes some great pictures that I am super jealous of. I think I've posted enough shots of McCoy Stadium, so here's a photo of Matt Sheely and Ryan Kalish instead:

Hey, good news! My father agreed to a brief interview so keep your eye out for that.

10.12.2012

Kevin Thomas contemplates minor league free agency and the Rule 5 Draft.

Did you know that Brock Huntzinger was Rule 5 eligible last year? Of course you did. But I didn't, because I don't work hard enough to gather that sort of information.

Portland's Kevin Thomas recently (okay, last month) wrote about potential pitching losses for Boston. Like Josh Fields' hair.

The Rule 5 draft is December 6th, which is a date both far into the future and unsettlingly close. And then the sixth day after the World Series ends is when free agents can sign with other clubs.

I love the World Series. I am the last baseball fan standing in my family. They've all turned to football or hockey or that TV program where the chemistry teacher spends a lot of his free time in Mexico. How do you like the playoffs so far?

10.11.2012

Derek Livernois 4-EVA

Since I am evidently the world's foremost authority on Derek Livernois, I though it would be cool to post this link to the Greatest 21 Days blog.

I meant to do this a long time ago. Sorry.

Should I try to contact Mr. Livernois and ask him some questions regarding his time with Pawtucket? I have never interviewed a player, mostly because it's not really my place. And I also don't know how to do it, like when people try to throw some crazy handshake on me out of the blue. YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE THE HANDSHAKE WITH ME FIRST, COMRADE!

Know what? It is now my personal goal to interview somebody this off-season! Perhaps I'll start with my Father, who once changed light bulbs at McCoy Stadium. That'll make him talk to me!

"I... DECLARE... BANKRUPTCY!!!!"

Jason Repko has declared free agency.

Repko truly played his ass off when he was on the PawSox. His numbers weren't awesome, but I appreciated his hustle. That's how you get promoted. You would think, anyway. Baseball isn't always a meritocracy. In fact, it only occasionally is a meritocracy.

Repko did not make a single error while he was with Pawtucket. And are you perchance Italian? You might enjoy this article which mentions Repko and is in Italian.

Also, he made a catch that the whole world saw. Except me, because I am very busy with legal documents and charity galas and teleconferences.The

In fact, here are all the cool kidz who linked to that zany bullpen catch!

1. Tonight's Forecast: Dark

2. Unathletic Mag: "Being debated as the catch of the year, Jason Repko jumps over the fence to make the grab. You make the call but this is certainly up there. Unfortunately the Sox lost that game but so what? It’s Triple A." HEY, GO TO HECK!

3. The Nosebleeds

4. Bob's Blitz

5. Outside the Box Score: "During his Major League Baseball career, outfielder Jason Repko didn't turn in any notable home run robbing catches but recently during a minor league stint, Repko might have pulled off the home run robbery of the month."

6. Awkward Sports: "Jason Repko leaped his entire body over the wall to rob Kosuke Fukudome of a homer in AAA Red Sox minor league game."

7. I doubt you can watch this conversation with Jason Repko and not think about what it would be like to have sex with him. Intimate, intimate video.

8. Hyder wrote about it. My personal hero, Steve Hyder.

9. Is Jason Repko a bicycle commuter? It appears that he is: "If you have a substantial bike commute and you ride it regularly, get yourself a bike you really like and a couple of good locks for it. If you’re putting the mileage on, you’ll want to love what you ride." Okay, no way this is baseball Repko. Sorry.

10. "One of the players that I got to talk with was Jason Repko, an outfielder for the Minnesota Twins. We know each other from his stint in Rochester. At one point, he was so impressed with my photography that he asked me to take photos of his family at his home. " - Oh, I am so sure.

11. Jason Repko's baby is way too adorable.

12. What was Repko's at-bat music? I remember it being acceptable, which almost never happens. Wait! No, I lied, I think it was a RHCP song. I hate them.

13. Damn, Gina!

That's enough, right? I'm trying to go to the laundromat and now this. And the Reds/Giants game. Jeremy Affeldt and Ryan Ludwick and Scott Rolen and so forth.

You think Repko's going to Japan?

10.10.2012

Devern Hansack is gone and he's never coming back.

But I did come across this Nicaragua-based article that mentions him and other Nicaraguan baseball players!

By the way, if I told you that the Yankees signed a 16-year-old kid named Colby McCoy, you could probably deduce that he was not an American. But would you guess that he was from Nicaragua? 'Colby McCoy' sounds like a Texas boy. Weird. Anyway, he's Hansack's cousin.

That's all for today. Looking for a job in Rhode island. Wish me luck.

10.05.2012

10.03.2012

You know what? Fuck it.

Oakland.

I want Oakland to win.

Not just because of Brandon Moss, but that's a big part of it. Not just because of Josh Reddick. Just because.

I feel much better now.