Tomorrow is the PawSox Annual Christmas Party. Arnie Beyeler won't be there, possibly because he was promoted. Does a major-league first base coach make more than a minor-league manager?
This year Ryan Lavarnway will be there, possibly because he can drive there from Connecticut. Wait, is Lavarnway from Connecticut? Why is he going? Isn't he a big star now? I'll bet he's all fat and drunk.
Tony Thomas will be there because he is wonderful.
Also Jeremy Hazelbaker and his hiked-up pants. Hazelbaker is built like John Olerud and resembles a younger version of the farmer from American Gothic. JEREMY MY DAUGHTER HAS THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS YOU WILL YOU STEP AWAY FROM FIELDING DRILLS AND SIGN THIS CREASED INDEX CARD?
And Santa Paws. And Santa Claus. SANTA CLAUS? I don't recall seeing Santa Claus at McCoy before. Will there also be a nun there with a collection of switches?
My invitation also says there will be games. Is that new? It also says boldly at the top 'Looking to get into the holiday spirit!!!'
The event lasts from 11:00- 2:00. I will not be able to attend and even though it's SSDY, I am disappointed. Please go and take lots of pictures for me.
I miss you.