12.30.2011

Josh Reddick got lost in Providence more than once.

I'm going to sift through the archives and take a look back at Reddick's time with Pawtucket, starting in August 2009. He didn't start the season with Pawtucket - Guys like Jonathan Van Every, Zach Daeges, Sean Danielson, Jeff Corsaletti, Chip Ambres, and occasionally Jeff Bailey were covering the outfield. And Freddy Guzman, Brian Anderson, Bubba Bell, and Mark Kotsay. And Chris Carter and Chris Duncan. It was the year that Bobby Scales got called up to the big leagues for the first time in his career.

Kid, precious kid:
1. First appearance! "Reddick hit an RBI triple in the seventh." It was versus Gwinnett. Reddick was flanked by Bubba Bell and Jeff Bailey in the OF.

2. 8/26/2009 - Josh Reddick, now Pawtucket's leadoff guy, hits a walkoff RBI single off Buffalo reliever Eddie Kunz.

3. 8/27/2009 -
"Reddick made possibly the greatest diving outfield catch I've ever seen at McCoy. Sixth inning, one out, shortstop Andy Green at the plate. And Green drives one out to left center! Reddick fucking LEAPS to his left, I mean, the kid is PARALLEL to the ground! And he snapped that ball up!! The crowd went nutso, people were standing up and cheering!
I would try to re-enact this for you if I had any hope of doing it justice. But you would just laugh and laugh. I hope someone somewhere recorded it... I hope someone aside from me writes about it. I love you, Josh Reddick!"
WOW! Glad I was at that game.

4. 8/30/2009 - Pawtucket plays @ the Yankees in a Pennsylvania double header: "Josh Reddick made an outfield assist, which reminds me of Sean Danielson and his very exciting assisting outfield arm." Yeah, Danielson was a small guy with a big, big arm. I used to love it when visiting teams tried to run home on SPD. HA! GOTCHA!

5. Opening Day, 2010 - I correctly predicted Reddick would bat first in the lineup. I had Jorge Jimenez batting 8th, but Torey Lovullo placed him second. My idea was much better, in retrospect.

6. A few days later... "Josh Reddick is still searching for his first hit. All the fans are really worried about this. Looks like his career may in fact be over. What happened to the prospect who did so much in the low minors? Reddick is a shell of himself. And the front office is whispering about possible trades." (I hope you recognize that I was not being serious.)

7. 4/15/10 - "Bubba Bell led off in place of Josh Reddick. Right now they are interchangeable, which is weird because Bubba Bell is not going to last the season in Pawtucket. And Reddick is media masturbation material." That's true.

8. 5/15/2010 - "Josh Reddick went 0-5 with a strikeout. Hey, I know what would help, Josh! Get another wacky haircut!" Funny how fast love disappears when the player starts losing it at the plate. This would not be my last reference to Reddick's hair. I can't believe it bothered me that much.

9. And the next day: "Did you know that Pawtucket got 14 hits and left 10 batters on base? You can thank Tug Hulett, Josh Reddick, and Angel Sanchez for that. Those three no-goodniks each came up twice with two outs and RISP and did not produce a run." Is Angel Sanchez still on my favorite team, the Astros?

10. Boof, there it is!
"So with two outs, Ellsbuhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifry walks and Josh Reddick hits the ball hard to right. Chris Duncan has a hard time coming up with it and Ellsbury scores... Josh Reddick is running his ass off and Lovullo is furiously waving him in but the incredible edible Carlos Maldonado is waiting with the ball. Reddick tries to dodge Maldonado but YEAH RIGHT and he is out and he tumbles down to the ground. It looked painful and N. Romero helped him up but he was okay.

Sometimes I think Josh Reddick is really dumb, although it was his manager waving him in. I don't know about that guy."
(May 17th 2010)

11. Jake Arrieta is a badass: "Arrieta's first K was also the first batter he faced, that being Josh Reddick. Not too interesting, since Reddick strikes out more than anyone on the team. And, seriously, it's not like he's Daniel Nava who also strikes out a lot, but leads the team in OBP." - (5.20.10, Arrieta pitches seven scoreless innings and gets 10 K's.)

12. "Josh Reddick is no longer the leadoff hitter. Reddick has some serious problems at the plate right now." (May 24th 2010) (Tug Hulett took his place batting in the one-hole. Yup. Torey Lovullo, folks.)

13. 5.29.10 - Reddick's struggles continue: "Everyone on the PawSox got a hit except for Josh Reddick. Reddick's had a tough time, but what can you do except get up and go to work?"

14. 6.27.2010 - Reddick slowly starts heating up: "But it was the third inning when Pawtucket scored five runs... Shealy's two-run homer and Josh Reddick's three-run blast. Yes, Josh Reddick. Don't bury him cause he's not dead yet."

15. 6.29.10 vs. SWB Yankees - "PJ Pilittere also tried to cross the plate on Rivera's hit, but he was thrown out at home by the ordinarily useless Josh Reddick. Good work, Reddick. This pissed off Yankees manager Dave Miley enough to get him ejected while he was arguing the tag at home plate."

16. 7.21.10 - "Josh Reddick went 0-4 with two K's yesterday. And then after the game I read an article about how he is allegedly improving."

17. 7.29.10 - "Reddick is back and he went 3-4 with a triple."

18. 8.6.10 - Yankees win, 9-5, and it is mostly Kris Johnson's fault. "Reddick cleared the bases and tried to make it all the way to third, but center fielder Greg Golson relayed that shit right over. OUT!" And then... "Reddick led off the ninth inning with a home run and, uh-oh! Bases loaded with one out for reliever Jonathan Albaladejo! But neither Aaron Bates nor Yamaico Navarro felt like doing something nice for the fans and rather selfishly struck out. What a couple of jerks." Also, Reddick started batting leadoff again.

19. August 9th, again with the Yankees: "Josh Reddick went 0-4 and twice came up with runners in scoring position, but could not help his team out. I get no joy from sharing that. Okay, maybe a little joy."

20. "Josh Reddick went 3-5 and is maybe superstitious, since he is still wearing his prostate cancer wrist bands from a couple of weeks ago." (8/13/10)

21. 8.24.10 - "Josh Reddick went 3-4 with two home runs. If he's crowned team MVP then I will projectile vomit." That wasn't very nice of me. They wound up losing this game to Buffalo, anyway, 12-4, thanks to Kris Johnson and TJ Large.

22. But the next day, Reddick continued his onslaught v. the Bisons: "Looks like Josh Reddick went 5-5 with another home run. His parents must be so proud. I'm glad I don't have to work with him."

23. And again the next day! "In the tenth inning, Josh Reddick hit a grand slam, but who cares because Jorge Jimenez hit an RBI single earlier in the inning which would have won the game right there. Manuel pitched the bottom of the inning and the Bisons didn't score, so think about that!" Maybe I was so hard on Reddick because I cared too much.

24. 8/27/10 - Reddick continues storming the castle: "Josh Reddick hit a three-run homer and I still think he's a jackass." Wow, what the hell was my problem?

25. "Reddick hit two doubles. They are going to give him the team MVP award. I have no idea why I care so much about this. But it's gonna be this cliched thing about his early struggles and what a fighter he is and what a professional young man he is and I swear, I am going to throw up.." - (AUG 28 2010) (Bubba Bell got the MVP, and rightfully so.)

26. 9/6/2101 - Last game of the Pawtucket season, Red Sox beat Syracuse 4-3. Reddick hits a two-run homer.

27. 4/8/2011 - A new season, a new start: "Pawtucket loaded the bases in the ninth, but Josh Reddick failed to get a run across, instead grounding into a double play. Instead of insulting him, I'll just say 'It happens' and it's a long season so better luck next time."

26. 4.23.11 - "Josh Reddick tripled and of course Nava and Navarro made it across. 2-0 PawSox! Good triple, Josh Reddick."

27. 4.28.2011 - "Reddick and Sutton, 3-5. These guys are fire oil. Reddick with two home runs."

28. 5.14.2011 - "Josh Reddick's home run in the sixth killed DJ Mitchell's no-hitter. Attaboy, Josh Reddick!"

29. 6.13.2011 - "With one out in the top of the second, Reddick retrieved a hard hit ball by Danks at the warning track, a 400-foot shot. Reddick bashed into the wall on the catch and had to be tended by medical personnel for nearly five minutes. The inning ended on a double play with third baseman Hector Luna catching a line drive by Milledge and tossing over to first to get Tyler Flowers (walk) out at the bag. Reddick was okay and did stay in the game." (Steve Mazzone, Pawtucket paper)

And that was it. Boston came calling and it was adios, Pawtucket. Hope you can piece together an idea of Reddick's time with the PawSox. Good night and god bless.

12.29.2011

Ramp Champ #45 - Lou Merloni


Wow, okay, Lou Merloni. This could take all day. You could just read this balanced, comprehensive web page, though. They say Framingham is the San Antonio of Massachusetts.

Lou Merloni is a utility infielder who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox for like ten years. No, okay, it was 1996-2002.

In 1996, Merloni split time between double and triple-A. He played in 38 Pawtucket games, batting .252 with a .328 OBP. His time at second, third, and short was divvied up fairly evenly. And everybody was doing the Macarena.

1997 - Merloni was back in Pawtucket, hitting five home runs through 49 games. This may also have been the year he decided to cultivate a goatee. He was walked intentionally two times. It would be the last Pawtucket season that this would happen.

1998 - Merloni's Boston debut! When he wasn't with the big club, he was playing in 27 games for Pawtucket. Since between the two teams he only played 66 games, he must have been injured or something. Merloni had a hot bat during his brief Pawtucket stay, batting .386 with eight home runs! 1.234 OPS! He walked more than he struck out! LOOOOOUUU!!!

Space! 1999! Lou Merloni, spending a little more time in the Ocean State. 66 games, 64 hits, mostly playing shortstop. He hit 14 doubles and drove in 36 runs.

In 2000, Merloni decided to try his luck in Japan. He did not get much playing time, though, so he returned to America halfway through the season. Merloni got his old job back, mostly because he was a F.O.N. He spent most of that time with Boston, but turned up with the PawSox for eleven games, still mostly as a shortstop.

2001 -
"Entering the 2001 season, Lou was still in Pawtucket. On his birthday, he was called up to the majors, but he didn't last too long. Whiney, terrible short stop Craig Grebeck (who i have a permanent grudge against because he is the ONLY person keeping Lou in Pawtucket!!!!!!!!!!!) is the reason for Lou's demotion."

(Aleta's Lou Merloni biography)

52 Boston games, 52 Pawtucket games. Lou was getting pissed about being sent down. Merloni struck out a lot.

And finally, in 2002, Merloni squeezed in 11 Pawtucket games. It was terrible, he batted .200 and was probably in a very bad mood.

Two things:
1. I'm sure you all know about the "Merloni Shuttle", which is the route you take from Boston to Pawtucket. Here's what you do: Get off 95 south at exit 29. TRUST ME. Go through the stop sign... No, just go through it, no one's ever coming anyway and it's a One Way. Then bear right onto Broadway. STAY IN THE CENTER LANE. After the light, bear left. The road immediately splits, so stay right.

Take a left at the stop sign onto Walcott. Go up a couple of blocks BUT DO NOT DRIVE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE RED LIGHT! That's where the traffic holds you up so don't do it. Take a right onto one of the side streets, Denver or French or something. Park in that area, it's free. Or, if you're Merloni, zig-zag over to McCoy and park near the home plate tower. When you see all the expensive cars with tints, that's where you deposit your whip.

2. "Sunday's fifth inning added extra flavor as both benches cleared when Pawtucket's Lou Merloni charged the mound. Merloni was hit by a pitch in the third inning and again in the fifth by Bulls starter Mickey Callaway. In the bottom of the fifth, Pawtucket's starter Jin Ho Cho and manager Gary Jones were ejected from the game after Durham's McClain was hit by a pitch. The game accumulated a total of six hit batters and one wild pitch." - (May 1999) Wow, our little Lou charged the mound? How out of character!

***BONUS THING***
3. "Youkilis has, he accepts, been more of a curiosity, and a likable curiosity, than anything else, and he's been that for what he views as three reasons. ''I get paid the least," he said. ''I have that going for me. If I do well it's, 'Good.' If I don't, well, it's, 'We're not paying him anything.' They can chant my name easily. And they miss Lou Merloni. I swear, it's because they miss Lou. They can't chant 'Louuuuu,' so they chant 'Youuuuk.' " Yes, there was a time when Kevin Youkilis was some fat minor leaguer who was not as interesting as Lou Merloni! (source)

I can't remember where Merloni's picture is. Yes, I have the location of all the other ones committed to memory. I'm a pretty big hit at parties.

Middle of the third base tower. Okay? Pass the blunt/cheese puffs. GOD.

12.23.2011

I can't turn Derek Livernois into a sexy Santa.

Probably for the best.

Speaking of Santa, I had occasion to collect a Secret Santa gift last night and you would not believe it.

I got a complete card set of the 1991 Pawtucket Red Sox, which includes Zupcic, Wedge, MO FUCKING VAUGHN, Phil Plantier, and, yes, Derek Livernois. My lord and savior.

The person who gave it to me just had it, you know, just like lying around the house since... Well, I guess since 1991! It's the craziest thing. You really, really have to see it to believe it. I have been kicked in the butt by nostalgia. And I own it and you do not.

REMARKABLE!

12.22.2011

Kyle Evered is not a professional baseball player.

Years ago, I got a bobblehead at a CT Defenders game that was Kyle Evered. He's a smiling brunette with a bat in his hands. I thought nothing of it, really, except that it was a cute souvenir. I hadn't heard of him, but that didn't mean much. Some people have never heard of Olmo Rosario, either, and boy do I feel bad for them!

So Kyle's been on my computer desk since then and recently I wondered whatever happened to him. I figured I'd look him up, do a little research. EXCEPT KYLE EVERED DID NOT SEEM TO EXIST. No stats, no player pages, no encyclopedia entries. Weird, right? Maybe he was on the Trenton Thunder or something? No. Nothing.

Turns out that Kyle Evered is just some kid who won a contest where they make a bobblehead out of you. I'm not disappointed, though, because if this kid ever makes it to the big leagues then my bobblehead is worth ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

I also have a Heidi Watney mini b'head that doesn't look much like her. Watney got a bad rap, but some people have ludicrous expectations for a TV personality/sideline reporter. You were expecting Woodward and Bernstein-level reporting? AS IF TOM CARON IS PERFECT AND EXCELLENT AND GRIPPING. Tom Caron sucks, okay? He lacks substance, passion, and ambition. People dig him, though. Maybe because he's not that cute.

I certainly hope Watney remembers to keep herself covered up, because if other people in the industry harass her, then it's completely her fault. WITCH.

6.16.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Lehigh Valley IronPigs - At least I hit a home run.


Pawtucket WINS! 6-5 in ten innings, even though the IronPigs hit three home runs. Give me a minute to mentally prepare myself for the excitement of a game from six months ago.

SIX MONTHS IS LIKE HALF A YEAR!!! Oh my god. Drew Sutton, even.

Red Sox starter Felix Doubront pitched five innings. Of course. Doubront gave up three runs on six hits (two of them home runs), one of them unearned. What if 2012 is a monster year for Doubront? I would love that.

LVIP starter was Brian Bass, who is surely getting old. Bass worked himself up to 94 pitches through six innings, giving up three runs in the process. Wow, what a boring start.

Nothing really happened until the top of the third, when beloved center fielder Rich Thompson reached on an error by third baseman Hector Luna. Thompson then dashed over to second when Doubront threw a wild pitch to Brian Bocock.

So what did Bocock do? Bunt. He bunted. He got on base. Good job, son! No outs and bases loaded for Lehigh Valley! And John Mayberry coming up?

Doubront got Mayberry to ground into a force out, though, but Thompson came home to put LV up 1-0. Doubront then walked Brandon Moss to re-load the bases. Batters Delwyn Young and Brandon Moss both made outs and ended the threat of pain.

Top of the fourth, Tagg Bozied hit a solo home run to make it 2-0 IronPigs. Or FePigs, unless there's a chemical symbol for 'pig'. And then finally Pawtucket did something about it after promising their father they wouldn't do the things he'd done and walk away from trouble if they could.

Bottom of the fourth, Yamaico Navarro leading off. Single. Drew Sutton, HBP. There you go, Lars Anderson. Two guys on for YOU. Anderson grounds out, which moved everyone over but is still disappointing.

Hector Luna took advantage of the gifts presented to him and hit an RBI single. Then little copycat Daniel Nava did the same. Tie game!

Lavarnway walked. Reddick flied out, scoring Luna. 3-2 Pawtucket.

I'm gonna skip ahead because this is killing me and I have stuff to do.

The game was tied and so it went into extra innings. Bottom of the tenth, Pigs reliever and former PawSox lefty reliever Juan Perez was pitching to Anderson, Luna, and Nava. How do you feel about those odds? Perez walked Anderson, because Anderson can take a damn walk. Luna K'd. Nava singled to left. ALIVE!

So now we have Lavarnway in the equation, and the best part of 2011 PawSox was exactly him. Lavarnway. That kid lit the park up with his bat! It was the most excitement McCoy had seen since 2008. Ben Mondor would have loved it.

Lavarnway singled to right, Anderson scored. Hooray! Wait, was I at this game? Maybe. It was only Lavarnway's third Pawtucket game after being called up, and already with the slugging.

Win goes to Randy Williams, who pitched the top of the tenth. Jason Rice, who I forgot even existed until just now, provided egg-cellent relief as well, going 2 1/3 scoreless.

Brian Bass digs dirt:
1. Lehigh Valley's Bronko Zagurski blew the save for Bass, giving up a pair of runs in the seventh. Jason Grilli also pitched, managed not to crap his pants.
2. Franklin Morales got some key relief outs for Pawtucket. He also gave up a two run homer. Morales may or may not have pierced nipples.
3. Dave Mc writes: "I was all ready to write a four paragraph post about why Brian Bass is the best qualified of our available candidates to be the #4 pitcher in the rotation. Then I realized that I was about to write four paragraphs about why Brian Bass should be our #4 pitcher and I spent some quality time trying to drown myself in the toilet in frustration and shame. Damn 1.6 gallon toilets. In the old days I could have gotten my whole head in." Not really relevant, but funny nonetheless. ('Weaver's Tantrum' blog, March 2009)
4. I don't mean to be an asshole about Brian Bass. I totally forgot about this. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.
5. Hector Luna's part of the Phillies now. So when Lehigh Valley comes on April 7th, give him a warm welcome. No, I don't mean a blow job, Mother.
6. By the way, 'The Horn and Bell' is the best and most dedicated International League fan blog around. It's very exciting and just might make you wanna go to their ballpark.
7. Ronnie Belliard was on the IronPigs up until about two days before this very game. He retired. Did he really?
8. Yes, he really did. Robert Baumann breaks it down.

TONIGHT! A meeting of the Blackstone Valley Media Club, in which the Secret Santa thing goes down. I had Walsh, tell no one. Also, if you know that 'Chariho' is not a prostitute that does freebies, then you know where I'm heading this afternoon.

I love you all so much.

12.20.2011

All I want for Christmas is someone to bankroll my 2012 Spring Training vacation.

My last spring training experience was 2006's Cactus League trip. I WANT TO GO BACK SO BAD. If I go, I'll work so hard and write about everything and learn about pitching statistics and take it very seriously!

I think I said a lot of nice things about Ryan Lavarnway, Randy Williams, and Brandon Duckworth in 2011 so maybe one of those guys should step up and pay me back.

Or how about, hey, Kris Johnson, throw a few hundy my way and I'll retract all my prior slanderous comments.

The road to building a media empire is evidently filled with years of no reward except having my utilities shut off.

Ramp Champ #44 - Cla Meredith


Cla Meredith is a right-handed relief pitcher who appeared in 40 games with the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2005 and then eight more in 2006. He was 22-23 years old.

In 2005, Meredith split closing duties with Tim Bausher. He closed 25 out of 40 games he appeared in and finished the season with a 2-5 record and a 5.59 ERA.

Through 13.2 innings pitched in 2006, Meredith walked five and K'd 14. He gave up 8 earned runs and posted a 5.27 ERA. Bring Up Cla Meredith!

Two things:
1. "IMO from the one inning I saw with my naked untrained eye, he looked like a put together BK with control. A slightly harder throwing version of Chad Bradford, with maybe a smidge more bite. He really impressed the heck out of me keeping the ball down like he did. Not much you can do with his pitches if you make contact which might explain the 11-3 G/F ratio so far this year. Seems like he can really pound the bottom part of the strikezone." - "Nomar" said it here in April of 2005.
2. "Porpoise Delectable" assesses Meredith's fatal appearance v Seattle thusly:
"At the risk of sounding like a Cla pigeon (so to speak) I really didn't think the pitch to Sexson was all that bad. He tried to go low and away and caught too much of the plate. Sexson, with his long arms, had no trouble poking it over the Pesky Pole. Now I'll grant you the 2 walks prior to Sexson's bomb certainly didn't help. Curious that Tito brought him in to that situation. For a sinkerballer, he was definitely over-throwing (a fact Tito pointed out later). I was watching the Mariner TV b'cast and in close up's of him on the mound, you could see he was really breathing heavily. A major league debut will do that to you. He's likely headed back to Pawtucket before too long, but does anyone really doubt he'll ultimately be more valuable then Blaine Neal?"
(May 2005)

One Thing Extra:
1. "What stands out about Cla was how he warmed up once he took the field. He would start his routine by throwing to the catcher from in front of the mound. He would start getting further and further from the catcher and closer and closer to the mound. Obviously from very close up the ball would pop into the mitt very loudly. Not sure why he did this or when he started doing this, but it definitely got the attention of the other team and for some reason seemed to intimidate them. He was DOMINANT!" (Some VCU alumnus)

That's a lot of links, but there's some really great stuff behind them.

You can smell the Old Virginia emanating from Cla Meredith's mural in the middle portion of the third base tower!

(pictured: Baby Cla Meredith)

12.16.2011

Ron Johnson will manage the Norfolk Tides.


It will be cool to see RJ back in the IL again. Who knows, maybe Jeff Bailey will end up in the Orioles org and it'll be just like old times.

This happened like two weeks ago but I was busy looking out the window in a gray warm-up suit because I am fighting depression. I don't even react when my dog nudges my hand.

So to sum up, here are your International League managers so far:

1. Buffalo Bisons - Wally Backman, who is fiery. He replaces 2011 manager Tim Teufel, who's with the big team now.

2. Charlotte Knights - Former Indians interim manager Joel Skinner! Dr. Nancy Golden writes a great story about her love for this guy. He replaces one of the greatest PawSox players of all time, Joe McEwing. McEwing's gotten the third base coaching job in Chicago, so let's toss a little confetti his way.

3. Columbus Clippers - Mike Sarbaugh. "Sarbaugh has never had a losing season in eight years as manager in the Cleveland Indians farm system, and has FIVE league championship titles in those eight seasons." - DP, 'Waiting for Next Year' Indians blog.

4. Durham Bulls - Charlie Montoyo.

5. Gwinnett Braves - Dave Brundage.

6. Indianapolis Indians - Dean Trainor.

7. Lehigh Valley IronPigs - Ryne Sandberg. But how long?

8. Louisville Bats - David Bell. He replaces Rick Sweet, who wanted to spend more time with Devin Mesoraco.

9. Rochester Red Wings - Gene Glynn. He replaces Tom Nieto, for obvious reasons.

10. Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees - Dave Miley.

11. Syracuse Chiefs - Tony Beasley. He replaces Randy Knorr, who's up with the big club now. Know who replaces Beasley at double-A Harrisburg? FORMER TWINS GREAT MATT LECROY! I loved LeCroy!! WHAT NOW, DUSTAN MOHR?

12. Toledo Mud Hens - Phil Nevin. I strongly recommend reading this.

And of course, Arnie Beyeler for Pawtucket. As far as we know!

6.10.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Charlotte Knights - Devan Kovacevic


Dejan Kovacevic covers the Pirates, who are the master team of the Indianapolis Indians. So it has nothing to do with the Charlotte Knights and everything to do with his top-notch work overall. He is one of my favorites!

Charlotte WINS! 3-1. Neither team scored until the bottom of the sixth inning, when Nate Spears hit an RBI double to put Pawtucket up 1-0. Knights starter Freddy Dolsi was gently removed at that point, like a rotten tooth gradually being rocked out of its socket by massive steel dental pliers.

Pawtucket starting pitcher was Brandon Duckworth, who pitched five scoreless innings. His pitch count was up to 66, so yeah, great move pulling the starter at such a crucial juncture in the game.

The Knight Sox tied the game up in the top of the seventh. Pawtucket reliever/starter/guy Scott Atchison led the inning off by walking first basehottie Jim Gallagher. Slugging threat Dayan Viciedo did what he's paid to do and singled to left. And then Dallas McPherson sac bunted to move those guys over! Nice job, McPherson!

The next batter was catcher Tyler Flowers, who grounded out to score Gallagher. And then Lastings Milledge grouned out to end the inning. Milledge went to Japan, right? The International League won't be the same.

In the top of the eighth, Knights second baseman Mark Loretta... No, Andrew Garcia. Garcia hit a solo home run to push Charlotte ahead 2-1. Scott Atchison again. It happens.

Pawtucket got a couple of guys on in the bottom of the eighth, but Hector Luna flew into a double play. That sounds way more exciting than grounding into a double play. It appears that Luna flew out to left and Milledge hucked the ball to second base, doubling off Josh Reddick. Hey, what the heck was Reddick doing?

Hideki Okajima came in to pitch the ninth. Okajima got one out before Dayan Viceido doubled to right. Dallas McPherson batted him in, because McPherson is all rugged and smart and classy and always does the right thing for the team and then like, goes and reads scripture. So 3-1 Knights. Nate Spears led off the ninth with a double off reliever Justin Turner... No, Josh Kinney. Spears' only hope for getting home was the next batter, Tony Thomas, but that didn't work out. The next two batters were Luis Exposito and Jose Iglesias. Game over. Even Nate Spears started taking his gear off after Thomas grounded out.

troika all the way:
1. Josh Kinney's Mariners property these days. Some people find him interesting.
2. This game included Daniel Nava, Josh Reddick, and Lars Anderson. WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO GO? My guess is Reddick. I will miss his Pawtucket bat, a little.
3. You could also read this game summary, if you don't have a problem with 'Hidecki' and 'McPhearson'. Dejan Kovacevic never spells anyone's name wrong!
4. Knights starter Freddy Dolsi's first ever major league pitch was to Manny Ramirez. Guess what happened?
5. Nate Spears doubled twice, walked twice. Luis Exposito struck out three times.
6. Darnell McDonald! No hits for McDonald and he was caught stealing. Any chance of McDonald at McCoy in 2012? Oh please oh please.
7. Franklin Morales was also rehabbing, pitched an inning. Tyler Kepner wrote some stuff.

Yeah, Charlotte Knights. Who knows, maybe 2012 will be their year.

12.15.2011

By the way I am going to Allentown.

I'm not keeping my IL ballpark destination a secret this year. I'm gonna go see the PawSox @ IronPigs in June! I figuratively cannot wait! Maybe I'll contact the office over there and they can slap together some kind of welcome ceremony for me. They could use the press from an award-winning blogger such as myself.

It's the hottest park in the IL! And it's in Allentown, PA, which really says something! No one ever wrote an unflattering song about Toledo! OHMYGOD I have to find things to do! Is there a zoo? Some kind of crazy museum?

I'll see you there, right?

Who runs the PawSox Twitter?

I don't know, sorry. Oh, wait, it says 'PawSox Pete', whoever that is.

Jed Lowrie's gone! He's gone and I miss him so much! Oh, I cry myself to sleep JED!!!

False. I do not miss him.

So like Mark Melancon's Red Sox property now and PawSox was all like, Oooh! We have this little video! OMG! Look, it's Mark Melancon at the ballpark like three years ago!

YOU WILL NEVER WIN AT THAT GAME, PAWSOX! How about instead everybody reads this awesome 2010 game summary featuring Melancon?

PawSox does win at some games: Safety, accuracy, palatability, homogenousness, and being family-oriented and possibly devout. Not all of those words can be found in the dictionary.

Kyle Weiland, also gone. To my favorite team, the Astros. I can't believe you didn't know that my favorite team was the Astros! I even bought the calendar!

I think PawSox on Twitter should be run by Sox. I'll bet she'd bring a real edge to things and sprinkle in some profanity and baseless character assassinations. Oh, sure, she's not always up to date with all her facts.... And sometimes she screws things up... But damn, Sox is entertaining! DON'T LET HER CUTE LITTLE OUTFIT FOOL YOU!

SOX FOR PRESIDENT!

Derek Livernois will last as long as the pyramids of Egypt.

My emotional and nostalgic attachment to former McCoy Stadium PA guy Jim Martin is no joke. Recently I met a guy whose last name was 'Livernois' and suddenly I heard Martin's voice in my head, proclaiming that Derek Livernois was now pitching.

I remembered nothing about Derek Livernois aside from his name. I couldn't even pin down a time frame. Was it from when I first started Baseball Heavy? Or was it even further back, back to my days as a teenage soda jerk?

Turns out that sometimes, I have a killer memory! Derek Livernois played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1991, '92, and '93. How many combined games? 38.

Livernois' Red Sox career began in 1985 at age 18, when he pitched for the short-A Elmira Pioneers. He played for Greensboro, Winter Haven, Lynchburg, and New Britain before coming to the PawSox at age 24.

And so it came to pass that in 1991, Derek Livernois started in five Pawtucket games and gave up 23 earned runs. He finished with a 10.53 ERA. Who knows, maybe it was one bad game?

1992, DL spent most of his time in New Britain at the Double A level, but he started 6 Pawtucket games. He did much better, only giving up 18 earned runs.

In 1993, Derek Livernois pitched in 27 PawSox games. He started 14 of them. His ERA was 5.72. He gave up 13 home runs. His strikeout/walk ratio was 1.86. What more do you need to know?

And that was it. That is where the data ends. Derek Livernois didn't wind up on the Rochester Red Wings. He didn't head for the indy leagues. He certainly didn't crack the big leagues. Derek Livernois, six foot righty, for all intents and purposes, ceased to exist.

Until today, when I decided to write about someone I'd been thinking about for a week. And I hit the search engines. Deep. As in, Page 68 out of 156,000 results deep. That's what I do, I sift through search results until I get to the Sino-Russian websites.

Derek Liversnaps:
1. I think this is him. Living in North Carolina.
2. Aha! Livernois was a 15th round draft pick for Boston in 1985. He was a star pitcher at Lyman High School in Florida. So says writer Herky Cush. Great name.
3. A lot of people don't know this, but sometimes the Pawtucket Red Sox are referred to as the 'PawSox'. Well, guess what? The New Britain Red Sox were evidently referred to as the 'BritSox'. Get out! "With his stuff, Derek epitomizes pitching [as opposed to throwing]," manager Jim Pankovits said. "Making the hitters guess, hitting spots, moving the ball around. That's what pitching is all about." This quote is from a 'Derek Livernois is New Britain' story. And it is here.
4. Rhode Island's Ken Ryan worked with Livernois. I'll bet he has some stories!
5. And I am only linking to this tangential Lynchburg story because it kicks off with this killer line: "Scott Taylor and Vinnie Degifico aren't the guys most people think about when they talk about the Lynchburg Red Sox ballclub." HA!
6. Whoa, mustache!
7. "Obviously, we want to win every game now," said [Lynchburg] Sox starter Derek Livernois, who struck out 11 in seven innings to improve to 9-8. "It's better to go into the playoffs hot than cold. Plus now guys are trying to put up some good numbers." And the team's manager? GARY ALLENSON. NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE,GARY!
8. Derek pitched alongside Roger Clemens. I wonder if he learned anything?
9. In May of 1993, Livernois pitched a two-hitter against the Norfolk Tides but did not get the win.
10. WILDLY UNRELATED: Did Royce Clayton have a brother named 'Royal'?
11. This article refers to Livernois as a lefty.
12. In 1991, Derek Livernois went to a hospital in Worcester to have scar tissue removed from his shoulder.
13. "This is amazing," said Britsox pitcher Derek Livernois, surveying the damage from the stands. "I think it will hurt some of us starters. I needed to get some work in today." Flooding at the ballpark! Look at mother nature on the run in the nineteen nineties!

I guess that's it. I was hoping for a testimony from the man himself, revealing why he chose to exit stage left rather suddenly, but they never write those stories.

12.13.2011

Tom Verducci is a bit of a dandy.

While I was at the 2011 Granite State Baseball Dinner, I saw some guy who looked a lot like Tom Verducci prancing around, smiling and shaking hands.

I didn't think it could possibly be him, because the guy was foppish and bescarved. And besides, why would Verducci be in New Hampshire? Not even Sean McAdam was there.

I also noticed that he was taking snaps with people and hanging out with the actress who was in The Fighter. So I assumed he was some Hollywood cat and forgot about it.

I am now 99 percent certain it was Verducci and I will tell you why. He's been on the baseball channel here and there and I have to say, he's borderline Eurofancy. Tom Verducci! Who knew he was so stylish? Aren't sportswriters supposed to be rumpled and stained? God, I hate it when people aren't one-dimensional!

In a related story, Dusty Brown's flank has been branded by the Texas Rangers. No McCoy visits for Brown this year! Talk about being a dandy: Dusty Brown's sense of style was streets ahead of the other Pawtucket jockos. He wore some crazy, crazy outfits. That man was not afraid of bold colors.

12.08.2011

Gil Velazquez update.

Don't worry too much about Gil Velazquez. Turned out he had a great year in 2011.

"{GV} led all Angels full-season farmhands in batting and paced Triple-A shortstops in hitting and runs scored en route to being named a Pacific Coast League All-Star and a postseason Topps Triple-A All-Star." (source)

Looks like Velazquez is down in Mexico getting all tanned and toned. Sometimes when I think about the great Latin/Caucasian divide in baseball, I think of Velazquez in the Pawtucket dugout, sitting in the middle. In Pawtucket, if you speak Spanish then you sit closer to the outfield. All the rednecks sit closer to the clubhouse entrance, infieldish. It is a significant bummer that there's very little blending. I work with people from islands of significant baseball leanings and we are like one big happy family. It is not that fucking hard.

I wanted to write about that for Baseball Prospectus, but it was mountainous and way too much for me to handle. Craig Breslow's little doctor friend wrote about it in his stupid book. Although I suppose his point of views about "The Dominicans" was realistic, it was dismissive and insulting.

Maybe I will write a book about the Great Clubhouse Schism and get both sides of the story. Who knows, maybe Dominicans think gringos are lame and smell bad.

I'll exit with this quote: "Gil Velazquez was once the part-time savior from the harsh reality that Julio Lugo sucks." (from 'Lookout Landing', written by Aaron Campeau.)

Tramp Stamp #43: Justin Masterson


I need to put Baseball Reference on speed dial. Where would I be without it? I wish I could put it atop my XMAS tree in lieu of an angel or a star or some hideous raffia abomination.

Justin Abomination Masterson is a tall, hairless righty who pitched in four games for the Pawtucket Red Sox in Junish 2008. That was a great year! Masterson started one game, was used in relief for the other three. Yes, that is all. It was part of his starter to reliever conversion, which I guess only takes one month at the triple-A level. Nowadays you can just pick up a SP/RP adapter for three bucks at the hardware store.

Through 9 1/3 innings, Masterson logged eight K's. Not bad! He hit one batter. Probably Kevin Barker.

He gave up one walk and one home run. I guess they cancel each other out, because a walk is as good as a home run. RIGHT?

Two things:
1. To put things in perspective, here are some cats who pitched in more games than JM in 2008: Mike Timlin. Beau Vaughan. Bartolo Colon. Dan Kolb. Miguel Asencio. Bryan Corey. Lee Gronkiewicz. And the pitcher who publicly dissed his PawSox teammates, Clay Buchholz. DEAD TO ME.

2. Oh, hey, it was in fact former PawSox great Jason Lane who Masterson hhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifit with a pitch on may 29th, 2008 v the SWB Yankees. I FUCKING LOOKED IT UP!!! Also, Jason Lane is still playing: In 2011, he was working for the BJ's triple-A team in Las Vegas and maybe turning himself into a pitcher. There you have it.

Added bonus: In case it wasn't 100 percent clear that David Laurila completely dominates with player profiles and interviews, please read this thing with Masterson. Laurila gets up and nothing gets him down.

Justin Masterson's mural is smack in the middle of the third base tower. No word yet on the future placement of his bandmate Javier Lopez.

12.06.2011

They were probably defending their state's reputation.

Tonight! I will be making an appearance in Connecticut as I play bingo for the first time.

No, I mean, I have played bingo before. But this is, like, $$$$BINGO$$$$ SPANISH WEEKS IN MY DISCO CASINO BINGO!!!

Used to be I only went to CT for Defenders games and lord how I took it for granted. How was I to know they'd go on to win a World Series with people like Cody Ross and Edgar Renteria?

Guys I probably watched include Sergio Romo, Madison Bumgarner, Pablo Sandoval... I know I saw Knoedler and Ishakawa...

I wonder whatever happened to the weird cheerleaders. That was, like, their whole life. They even made little dolls with matching outfits. Good for them, though. They probably had more fun than anybody, including me.

ANDREW MILLER IS BACK!!!!

Ramp Champ #42: Steve Lyons


Steve Lyons is an outfielder, shortstop, third baseman, pitcher, catcher, second baseman, and first baseman who played for Pawtucket in 1984, 1992 and 1993.

In 1984, Lyons played in 131 games, mostly at third base. He hit 17 home runs, placing him in fifth place in the International League. Lyons was seventh in the league for stolen bases, with 35 for the season. He was 24 years old.

In 1992, at age 32, Lyons played in 37 games for the PawSox. He effectively split his time between third base and the outfield. Through 144 plate appearances, Lyons struck out 18 times and walked only eight times.

In 1993, Lyons played in 67 Pawtucket games, mostly in the outfield. However, Lyons pitched in two games, played catcher in one game, and played every infield position except shortstop. He hit four home runs and struck out 50 times.

As a relief pitcher that year, Lyons racked up four strikeouts through two innings of work. He also gave up a home run and walked a pair.

Two things:
1. Steve Lyons hit a home run in game 5 of the Governor's Cup finals to take the win over the Maine Guides.
2. The Red Sox signed Steve Lyons to a Triple-A contract on Thursday, making ``Psycho`` the first player in the history of the organization to be discarded three times and brought back. He was with the Red Sox in 1985 and `86 until he was traded to the White Sox for Tom Seaver. He returned in `91 and was released and was brought back again last season and not re-signed.
``Some people may not like him,`` said Boston General Manager Lou Gorman, ``but I do. He`s a versatile player who will give us depth at Pawtucket and may be able to help out here down the line.`` (Sun Sentinal May 1993)

Steve Lyons mural is in the middle portion of the third base tower.

Baby Chris Carter understands your suffering.


"I used to be kinda dorky in high school. Then I got all ripped and stopped having to date girls who stood up for themselves."

12.02.2011

Tonight I am breaking all of the rules.

Tomorrow at, say, noon, the Pawtucket Sox will be hosting a somber luncheon to reflect upon Our Father's bounty. Presiding over the event will be former Red Sox batter Niuman Romero.

Don't I wish! Before I get truck-smashed by Travis Denker, I'll tell you the true story. Clinically, with no cheer. It's the Christmas Party at McCoy Stadium and it starts at eleven and lasts until two. There's some free food, too, which is always a big hit. Maybe the biggest.

Brandon Duckworth will be there. Nate Spears will be there. Santa Paws will be there.

This guy will be there. Does anyone watch that? That has been on forever. It's certainly no 'Steve and Joe Show.'

Mike Tamburro will be there! And some guys with walkie-talkies!

I can't make it. What's more, I'm wondering if any time I go anywhere, I should refer to it as 'making an appearance.'

As in, Jen from Baseball Heavy will be making an appearance at the laundromat from 4:30-7:00 pm!

You guys have fun tomorrow. Tell Nate Spears I said... Dylan Axelrod.

12.01.2011

Ryan Kalish has arms that long to hold you.

During these gray holiday doldrums, do you ever find yourself wondering what Ryan Kalish has been up to? Or do you long to re-connect with his sparkle, his charisma, his fascinating ways?

M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E! That's what I say!

1. Wait, Kalish hit a grand slam off Jered Weaver? How do I not remember this?

2. Chili Davis understood what Kalish was going through, because he was a spokesman for struggling bats and a sensitive lover.

3. "At this point honestly, I can’t really tell that anything was done to my neck," said Kalish via phone from San Francisco, where the Red Sox outfield prospect is conducting his rehab. "You have post-surgery pain and all that, but that’s totally gone. It just feels like a normal neck." Brendan McGair talked to a rehabbing Ryan Kalish and it was sadly overlooked. McGair also did a thing about suicides of the American Indian and nobody cared. Nobody showed.

4. It just feels like a normal neck!

5. Derek Stykalo says either Kalish or Nate Spears will probably play right field for Boston in 2012. What, not Josh Reddick? No, because Reddick is pink in the middle.

6. It is criminal that I have never come across the 'Seedlings to Stars' blog. At any rate, Wally Fish and Nathanial Something get down into it w/r/t Kalish playing right. Also contains this killer quote: "Spears is basically a slightly lesser version of Tug Hulett." HA!

7. Ryan Kalish is Jewish and married and has a girlfriend and Ryan Kalish is naked when he takes hot showers. Ryan Kalish sucks, too.

8. Whore presents will help get you in touch with Kalish.

So, in summation, let me say this: The best-case unfolding for Kalish would be a plain Spring Training which convinces a Red Sox to have him partial of a crew incident in right field. Considering all a time Kalish longed for final year, we consider it competence be awaiting a small as good most to have him a full-time right fielder. Look for Boston to take a prolific right-handed bat, maybe a single who would element good with possibly Kalish or Josh Reddick.

He has huge bent as good as intensity to be a long-term resolution in right field. Even if it takes him a month or dual to get going, they would not remove most prolongation when compared to final season.

Or something like that. God, I'm bored.

Uncharted Desert IL


This goes out to the William Bergollas of the world. William Bergolla, someone in Rhode Island still loves you.

Pat Misch! Misch blew through McCoy Stadium many times, since he was on the Bisons for like ten years. Love those Bisons! Misch was just signed to a minor league contract by the Phillies, so he'll return as an IronPig. He probably knows more about Pawtucket than Dusty Brown ever did.

Scott Mathieson! Speaking of Pigs... Yeah, Philadelphia released his ass.

More Phillies stuff: They signed former Bison Scott Elarton. Remember when the Bisons were part of the Cleveland franchise? And Cliff Lee pitched for them at McCoy Stadium? Oh my god, you are so jealous because I was there and I have pics SO IT DID IN FACT HAPPEN.

Do you know what a Toledo Bush Blow is? No, it is not a dirty sex euphemism. I am possibly the foremost authority on the TBB. My point is, former White Sox-ish OF Jerad Head is now a Mud Hen!

!

And back with the Buffaloney! Nick Evans, first baseman and corner outfielder, will leave the Bisons but return with the Indians. Indy, not Cleveland. THESE INDIANS ARE PIRATES.

Can you believe Joe Nathan is on the Rangers now? What happened to Neftali Feliz?

His name happens to be 'Brett'.

"Whoopi, in 2012, is Bobby Valentine going to manage the Boston Red Sox OR appear on Hollywood Squares?"

"JOUDAN DESHOU?!"

11.24.2011

Happy Thanksgiving, Steve Hyder.

Recently I checked in on Hyder's PawSox blog. The Thanksgiving post inspired me! I am going to rip off... Wait, use? Steal? I think the word I'm looking for is 'plagiarize'.

Let's talk to it!

1. "I’m thankful that Jacoby Ellsbury finished second in the A.L. MVP voting. Well deserved." Sure.

2. "I’m thankful that it is still 3 months before pitchers and catchers report to Fort Myers for Spring Training." I suppose when baseball is your job and you work like every day, you need this time off. I'm talking about myself.

3. "I’m thankful that the fiasco that was the September of 2011 is fading into the sunset." Hyder is referring to PitcherGate. Which was one of the most pointless and stupid stories in a long time. You know what else I'm glad to see fade into the sunset? MOCKINGBIRDS.

4. "I am thankful for the Theo Epstein/Terry Francona years." Word to that! Sure, I faded out toward the end, but Theo was the guy responsible for Mike Remlinger and JT Snow!

5. "I’m thankful for the Jonathan Papelbon era in Boston." Rhode Island Day, 2005.

6. "I am thankful for the New England Patriots." Football is boring.

7. "I am thankful that there are three NFL games on Turkey Day." (ibid.)

8. "I am thankful for the 2011 season we enjoyed with the PawSox." Rich Hill and Ryan Kalish, gone too soon. Good season, though, except for JC Linares' injury.

9. "Last but not least, I am thankful for my family and friends." No one in my family ever reads this, so they can go to heck.

You know, this all seemed more exciting when I thought of it last night.

Tommy Hottovy and Drew Sutton are gone. Sutton sure could hit some doubles. I am thankful for that.

11.22.2011

Carl Pavano probably smokes his own meat.


Hi!

Back from some time in NH/VT. I attended the Granite State Baseball Dinner, where no one could say enough about what an exemplary human being Chris Carpenter is. He came all the way from his vacation to attend the function, because he's so fucking awesome.

Yes, that was the kind of thing I had to listen to. I didn't barf at the time, but saved it for the early morning hours. Must have been all the tonic I drank.

Some people at my table were friends with Bernie Carbo and he kept swinging by to chat. He is practically a minister at this point, possibly by way of twelve-stepping. In case anyone out there still gives a shit about Bernie Carbo. I much prefer Kenny Rogers.

I had an autograph assignment and my target was Jarrod Saltalamacchia. He wore glasses and fine men's cufflinks. I should have asked him if he did his laundry at the ballpark. His handler would probably just have tapped the sign.

During post-prandial conversation at the hotel bar, I learned that Pirates pitcher Jeff Locke is stressed out and losing weight. There is something wrong with him. So if you're a Locke fan, prepare for that. I wasn't eavesdropping... Someone told me, all over my FACE!

Here comes the Carl Pavano part! So I guess Carl Pavano lives in Vermont. Like my mom! At any rate, I stopped at a general store for like, maple syrup or cider or cheese or whatever. Fucking country shortbread or whatever, you know, it's fucking Vermont. And since I was wearing my fly Twins jacket, the dude at the deli was all, YEAH TWINS KIRBY PUCKETT!!!!

The deli master then revealed that Carl Pavano shops there, buys shotgun shells and junk. Because he's all rugged and not some fussy fancy-pants like Brad Radke or Eddie Guardado. "Wouldn't it be cool if he came in while you were here? He could sign your jacket!"

Yeah, maybe. I doubt I would have recognized him because, hello, I'm in Hillbilly Junction, Vermont. I certainly don't expect a former World Champion Marlins starter to walk in and buy like deer jerky. Later on I looked at pictures of Pavano and I don't know, is he hot? Because he looks kinda hot and I thought he was a mullion. Also, I left that store smelling like smoked moose hooves.

Oh, PS, the Vermont flood damage is no joke, folks. I was in a hard-hit area and I was shocked at the wreckage. Carl Pavano helped out and maybe I should, too. I don't want to be outdone by someone like that.

I'm back from vacation so I will start posting in earnest. Thanks for sticking around.

11.09.2011

You're so unsatisfied.

Even though I blabbed this all over the place, in case you didn't hear I wrote a guest column for Baseball Prospectus. I am not making this up.

Most of the other columns are like, MIT professors and physics majors and wicked smart people. So I don't know, maybe they're diversifying. I thought it was weird, but I guess they know what they're doing.

I could have done better. Too bad, because when you have only one shot... One opportunity... Well, I guess you have to just wait until the last minute and churn out a bunch of vanilla soft serve.

Well, back to watching reruns and pigging out on burritos!

10.29.2011

2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox... And the rest.


We all remember the big boys on that team, like Schilling and Varitek and Derek Lowe and Ortiz and the raw sex appeal of guys like Dave Roberts and Doug Mientkiewicz.

But a lot of guys got a ring that year that maybe aren't household names. Not even in their own households, where they sip endless cups of tea and blend in with the drapes. Who are these forgotten warriors and where are they now?

1. Sandy Martinez, A Catcher - Sounds like a delicious beach cocktail, but Martinez was originally a Blue Jays guy who winnowed his way through backup-catcherdom and was snapped up from the Indians in August of 2004. He played in three games with Boston and did not reach base once. The Red Sox were the last big league team Martinez played for, and he retired in 2007.

2. Brian Daubach, A Remainder - Included because Daubach evidently played in 30 games. Was probably mostly in Pawtucket but he's got a kind of muddy timeline. He's gone! He's back! He's in the minors! He's drunken!

Also, Daubach went from a player we all loved to... I don't know, but he hit a wall. Yes, I am aware that he's a minor league manager and probably doing well for himself. But he looks like hammered shit.

3. Cesar Crespo, A Ute - CESAR CRESPO PLAYED IN 52 GAMES. Did you realize that? He also never walked. Not even once. His batting average is exactly the same as his OBP. Definitely a Pawtucket kid. His last Boston appearance was July of '04 and he never played in the majors again. Retired.

Oh, by the way, Crespo was previously on the same Padres team as his brother, Felipe, and they both homered in the same game. They are probably no longer on speaking terms.

4. Ricky Gutierrez, An Encouraging Ernie - No one exemplifies the role of 'Guy Who Never Played But Was Top-Stepping the Entire Time' like Mister Gutierrez does. Seriously, go back and watch the games and he's always there in his little hat, slapping everyone on the back. You might think he was merely Ortiz's personal valet, but in fact he played in 20 games, mostly at second. In case both Bellhorn and Reese had bad sushi?

After Boston, RG never played in the majors again. He is, of course, retired.

5. Andy Dominique, A Doughboy - Porky catcher from Pawtucket who played in seven games. You may remember the fans chanting his name during a game, but you probably don't remember what for. I sure as hell don't. Domninique got a couple of hits and and an RBI, so there's his contribution.

Dominique played in a couple of games for Toronto in 2005, but that was THE END for his career. He's a softball coach in Reno now, and here's a current photo that will make you feel like Oldy Olsen.

6. Earl Snyder, A Tweener - Snyder was crushing it in Pawtucket in '04, setting home run and RBI records all over your face! Snyder played in exactly one game for Boston in August, getting a hit but also striking out and grounding into a double play. Keep that ring nice and polished, Snyder.

In a related story, Earl Snyder's Dead Ringer has a blog, which hasn't been updated since 2005. However, its value as a time capsule of emotion cannot be overstated. Kenny Rogers assaulting a cameraman?! Crazy!

7. Jimmy Anderson, A Lefty Reliever - Pitched six innings through five games. Spent most of his early career as a Pirate and has the garage full of contraband stereo speakers to prove it. Boston traded Andrew Shipman to the Cubs for Anderson's services. He never gave up a home run. He also never played in the majors after Red Sox '04. Why would he? I would think there'd be nothing left to achieve in life.

I wish I could remember him. I looked at a couple of pictures but nothing sparked. RETIRED.

8. Terry Adams, An Arm - He was a righty reliever. His frighteningly broad moon-pie face is what I have kept with me through the years. Pitched in 19 games. Came to us from the Blue Jays in exchange for John Hattig, the Guamiest guy who ever played at McCoy Stadium. Last seen on the Phillies in 2005... Or on the Indianapolis Indians in 2006, like that counts. Oh, and his rookie card is a disaster. Retired.


9. Mark Malaska, A Quitter - Malaska retired very hastily. Nothing more to add except that in this picture he looks like your Aunt Shirley. Turn off all your lights before checking out the photo for the full creepy, funhouse effect.

10. Anastacio Martinez, A Casualty - Pitched in 11 games. Possibly "best" "remembered" for being traded to Pittsburgh with Brandon Lyon for Mike Gonzalez and Scott Sauercrap in 2003. And then the Pirates were all, like, "Hey! Brandon Lyon's elbow is frayed like Chinese blue jeans! Can I speak to your manager, please?"

So Lyon came back, Martinez came back, Suppan was sandwiched between them (Awwww, yeaaaah!), and Pittsburgh got Mike Gonzalez back. Plus the Marvelous Freddy Sanchez. I could write a book. Or make a documentary. I would pay to see that. I would pay to watch my own documentary. That's how much I love painful and degrading trade stories.

Retired, but played indie ball in 2010 for Calgary. Good for him!

11. Pedro Astacio, A Has-Been - Astacio racked up a 10.38 ERA through five Boston games. Last played in the Nationals org in 2006. How many years can a player call himself a 'free agent' before admitting to himself and the world that no one wants his ass?

Did you know that Astacio made $7,000,000 playing for the Mets in 2003? Typical Mets story: He pitched like 36 innings and had a 7.36 ERA. It never ends. RETIRED.

12. Jamie Brown, A Gaijin - Pitched a few relief innings in May of 2004. Split for japan after that, worked overseas for a few seasons. And now no one can find him, because his name is Jamie Brown.

13. Phil Seibel, A Mack - Insurance Agent to the Pro's. I think that says it all.

TONIGHT! Buffalo Bisons featuring Dillon Gee!

Sorry, habit.

10.12.2011

5.22.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Toledo Mud Hens - Lucky

Pawtucket WINS! 2-1. Another game I didn't do because I was on vacation in Toledo. And it was Lucky's birthday!

Starting tart was Tony Pena Jr, who was really, really smelling good. He looked good, too: Pena pitched six shut out innings, with four strikeouts and a walk. And four hits, yeah, four hits and none for extra bases YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!! See that? I just got worked up over Tony Pena Jr.

Oppo guy was lefty Ramon Garcia. Garcia could not get that last out in the fifth inning. Hey, what happened? Well, Tony Thomas led off with a double. Garcia struck out former Mud Hen and current question mark Brent Dlugach. Matt Sheely popped out in foul territory. Two outs and Thomas is hanging out at second, waiting for his chance. Tony Thomas is an old soul.

Ronald Bermudez was the next batter, and good old Ronny doubled, bringing Thomas around to score. Thomas was later quoted as saying, "Come on, Ronny, mellow off! You're really bringing me over, man!" 1-0 Pawsox!

And so it was that Garcia was replaced by Australian reliever Fu-Te Ni. Ni finished off the fifth inning by first hitting Che-Hsuan Lin with a pitch and then getting Iggy Iglesias to ground out. Ta-da!

The Red Sox scored again in the seventh inning, when Tony Thomas homered off reliever/sprocket jockey Matt Hoffman. No one was on base.

Dennis Neuman! Neuman took over for Pena, allowed Toledo to score a run. This was mostly thanks to the Viking at first base, Ryan Strieby. I don't know, look it up. Someone hit a ground ball, okay?

That's all for today. I have to buy a car and the research is killing me.

10.09.2011

Baby Lars Anderson agrees with you.


"Pitchers, man. Think they're such hot shit."

10.06.2011

Matt Sheely Aggregate


Matt Jovon Sheely is a 25-year-old Floridian who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2007 (two games), 2010 and 2011. U could neva b like him. And I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend.

Here's his Clay Davenport batting card.

1. Matt Sheely went to Seminole State College. In 2006, while he was a freshman, Boston drafted him (48th round) and sent him to XST. "Sheely's season was highlighted by a 5-for-5, three runs scored, two RBIs, two stolen bases performance versus Monroe on Mar. 24. He was named First Team All Mid-Florida Conference by the conference coaches."

2. Also, third game of the season in Sheely's freshman year, he was hit in the FAYCE by a pitch. Sheely missed nine games thanks to the injury. The man who threw the pitch? CRAIG HANSEN.

3. The majority of Sheely's organizational games were played with Portland.

4. From "A Believer" : "24 year old outfielder. Who spent most of his season with
Double A Portland but played 7 games with Triple A Pawtucket. Batting (.238)
(.222). Below Average batter, doesn’t have a lot of hits. Once he gets on
base, threat, above average speed. Can play all outfield positions
successfully with good range. Not a strong batter. Hits better with people
on base."

5. This woman has several candid shots of Matt Sheely. They are from a couple of years ago and feature other future PawSox members like Kalish and Doubront.

6. Tough love from Marisa Ingemi: "In Portland he did nothing and he cannot be expected to do more at a higher level. I question why Alex Hassan was not recalled instead. He is the better prospect and will get more out this promotion than the non-prospect Sheely. A weak hitting outfielder with little skills, he won’t be around for long."

7. "I got see this kid Matt Sheely put on quite the show. He hit his second professional home run in the game — his first one came the night before — and he had driven in 15 RBIs in just 60 at bats." Sheely had some early success in Greenville.

8. From 2006: "Matt was a Draft and Follow signing this year, and had a decent debut season. Sheely hit .292/.361/.358 with 12 walks and a team high 3 triples."

9. Matt Sheely also played in 'Porltand'.

10. Daisuke Matsuzaka appreciated Sheely's fielding efforts. Also: Kuddos.

11. Look at these good pictures.

12. Fragile Freddy : "One thing I saw that was interesting was when Chris Balcom-Miller hit Matt Sheely with a pitch. While an apology would not be issued during a game I figured “hey, teammates during BP, he will apologize” but nope. Balcom-Miller simply grabbed another ball and got back on the rubber."

13. Dan Hoard with some Matt Sheely slice of life.

14. Matt Sheely's voice cracks sometimes when he talks about the kids. One day he helped some youngsters master bunting. Uh huh huh huh.

I gotta stop because I keep this: http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif. Thanks, I certainly love removing that junk after all my links.

I don't feel like I've learned anything about Matt Sheely.

9.29.2011

The Durham Bulls are ruining this here great country.

I still love you, Carl Crawford.

I don't know what else to say. That was crazy. Can't wait to hear a slew of conspiracy theories. CRAZY.

I also wonder how I went from a ravenous, emotional Red Sox fan to someone who wanted Tampa to win. I can't even think of how it all started. I just lost interest. And I was someone who emptied out bank accounts for Fenway tickets. Would approach innocent strangers with player t-shirts on to talk Red Sox. Read all the message boards and blogs daily. Watched all the games on TV, even the ones I'd just returned home from. It just consumed my thoughts and actions. It was sick, I tell you!

In an unrelated story, why is everyone ripping on Lackey for being less than handsome? As if Beckett, Lester, and Buchholz are all so great-looking? As Chief Wiggum would say...

Tonight I will go see Moneyball and dream of playoff baseball. I love the World Series.

5.21.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Toledo Mud Hens - You Are Here


Mud Hens win, 5-4. I was at this game! It was rainy! I had good seats, though, thanks to a sweet hookup from Mud Hens Nancy. Yeah, I was in Toledo. YEAH I WAS IN TOLEDO.

Matt Fox, All-Star, started for the Pawtucket "Red" Sox. Fox ran deep into the seventh, shutting out Toledo until it was time for sweet relief. Fox left with a little skip in his step because Pawtucket was up 4-0 at that point.

Righty Thad Weber started for Toledo. The Red Sox scored their first run off Weber in the fourth inning, by way of a solo home run by Josh Reddick. That kid was raking in Pawtucket before he headed for Boston, I'm saying. Not Lavarnway-level, but let's just say he tied Anderson and Luna's 14 home runs in like half the games those guys played. It's weird, Reddick just looks skinny and raggedy-redneck to me. And Lavarnway's all big and hulking and strong. Like Jim Thome. But then, does Ryan Braun look especially beastly? I'm just talking, I don't know.

Everything was quiet up until the top of the seventh. Weber still pitching, probably should have not returned to the hill. Former Mud Hen Brent Dlugach led off with a single. No, a double, sorry. I'm sorry, Brent. Tony Thomas and Blind Luis Exposito followed that shit up with back-to-back singles, scoring Dlugach. This may have made Weber sweat a little, because when Jose Iglesias stepped up and bunted, Weber made a throwing error. Probably he was too hasty? Anyway, the bases were loaded and no outs and maybe Phil Nevin should have intervened.

So who batted next with BLNO? Matt Sheely! HAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASTOP LAUGHING! And, you know, maybe even I could have gotten Sheely to pop out infieldish at that point. So of course Weber hits him with a pitch to bring Tony Thomas home. And who wouldn't want to bring Tony Thomas home, am I right, Ladies?

At last, Weber was surgically removed from the pitcher's mound. Right-handed Venezuelan Jose Ortega took over. Che-Hsuan Lin hit a sac fly to center, scoring Exposito. 4-0!

Bottom of the eighth, Pawtucket made a mess o' defensive changes and Tommy Hottovy was out there, doing good work in his way. Hottovy got a couple of outs and Arnie rolled out Michael Bowden. Bowden faced down rich bitch Cale Iorg, who ain't scareda nuthin' and launched one to left. Outta here!

Bowden got Omir Santos to fly out, but there was failure on the horizon. In the ninth inning, Bowden walked Will Rhymes and Danny Worth. Like, before he did anything else, such as get an out. I'm sure his immediate response was to fix his pants, because Bowden's an OCD pants-adjuster. Bowden got Timo Perez and Ryan Strieby to fly out. Breathe now, but then gasp, because remember how big Scott
Thorman is? He's like a Canadian Jim Thome! Thorman hit a home run. Tie game.

Extra innings, Blake Maxwell, Ryan Strieby is the same guy as Lars Anderson and hit the game-winning single in the eleventh. What did I do after this game? Probably nothing.

what does any of this have to do with Dusty Brown:
1. Brent Dlugach struck out four times in this game. That'll show 'em.
2. Isn't Blake Maxwell essentially Beau Vaughan? Can we do some sort of DNA test?
3. "Pawtucket starter Matt Fox has rolled through five scoreless innings, allowing just three singles and no walks. He also has not struck out a batter but has thrown only 63 pitches, 41 of which were strikes. His fastball sat at 91-92 mph (seven at 91 mph, two at 92), with his change-up at 86-88 mph (one at each of those three speeds) and his breaking ball at 76-77 mph. There have not been many good swings against him, mostly because he has gotten ahead of most of the Toledo hitters (10-of-17 through five innings)." - Mud Hens Blog
4. "To get the chance to play professionally and have a chance to play in the big leagues is a once in a lifetime opportunity." - Wow, gripping stuff, Thad Weber.

As for me, this was the first IL vacation that I intentionally booked the player hotel. Sure enough, as I was checking in, I saw Kyle Weiland and Jose Iglesias wandering around. The hotel was right up against the ballpark, too, and in the morning I could look onto the field and see the players wearing ballgowns and having sex with each other on the field.

Other than that it was kind of a wack hotel. Cirque du Soleil was there, also, and those people can fucking drink. Saw them at the hotel bar, just kicking it and shooting pool. The hotel bar was seriously weak... Good thing we were only there for a nightcap. Good thing I usually don't wear them.