The Brewers have released Trot Nixon.

God damn, we are all getting old.

Hideki Okajima, don't lose your graceful tone.

Red Sox defeat Reds, 2-1. Hideki Okajima gets the dub. He is my favorite player on the Red Sox, did you know that?

I saw Javier Lopez in the lineup and it confused me for a second. Then I remembered they played in an NL park. Buh-doy!

Sean Danielson played in this game, can you believe it? He got a hit. He stole a base. And a bass. It may have belonged to Baldelli. Chip Ambres struck out and scored a run.

Everything else is boring.

Louriann Mardo-Zayat

Belated congratulations to supreme PawSox photographer Louriann Mardo-Zayat for winning Rhode Island Art Educator of 2008/2009. The greatest part of this is that she teaches at Ella Risk Elementary School, right here in Central Falls. And that was my school! I have a million memories of being a student there. She should be very proud.

When I was in first grade at Ella Risk, I drew a crayon picture of myself standing on a chair and washing dishes. My art teacher loved it so much that she entered it into an art contest. It eventually hung in the Pawtucket City Hall. We all went to see it.

Looking back, I don't recall my artwork being that remarkable. But that's why I'm not an art teacher, I suppose.

I should bust out my crayons and draw pictures of Sean Danielson and Jose Vaquedano.

No, I will NOT stop talking about Buffalo!

So I was at a day game in Buffalo, trying to take pictures of Mike Lowell, who was rehabbing. A young man behind me asked, "You got film in that thing?"

When I told him I did, he sniffed and said, "I hate film cameras." Well, hey. My MOM gave me her rather nice "film camera". Not everyone can drop a few hundy on a digital zapper. Okay, kid?

My point is this: Because I'm running out of things to talk about, I'm just going to empty my "Pawtucket" photo file all over you. ALL OVER YOUR FACE!!

PS: I generally don't like shoutouts, but I wanna tell the awesome and lovely woman that works at the place I get my film developed... I'M COMING BACK!!! AND I'M GONNA KEEP MAKING IT RAIN ON YOUR ESTABLISHMENT!!! (I don't know her name, but she's so pretty and sweet.)

Unfortunately, the first clutch of photos are from Buffalo, NY. So what I will do is post one from each end.

The first picture is of the late, great Abe Alvarez having a confab with Wake's new drinking buddy George Kottaras. Joe Thurston is in the background, thinking about the government. The second photo is Charlie Zink tossing squishy balls into the crowd after the Very Last PawSox Game of 2008. He appears to be blurry and wearing jeans.

is it just me or is everything shit?

April 8th will be the annual Pawtucket Red Sox Welcome Home Banquet.

The whole team and RJ will be there. Steve Hyder will be there (and let me tell you, Hyder looks great!)

Bob Montgomery and Frank Malzone are the special guests. Johnny Pesky usually comes, too.

It's being held at a super-secret location in Blackstone Valley. I'll give you one hint: Not Pawtucket.

Okay, one more hint: The location is mentioned on page 211 of Roger Kahn's 'The Boys of Summer'. Clem Labine used to hang there.

Last year Brandon Moss stabbed Jeff Natale's hand with a salad fork when Natale tried to pluck a cherry tomato off Moss's plate. Then we went over to Jerry's house...

the baseball channel

I like the new baseball channel. I like how they've been examining a different team every day, apparently going from worst to best.

However, I really need a break from ON ANOTHER DAY! COME ON! COME ON!

Rocky Cherry is 29. Boston just signed him to a minor league deal. I don't really want to talk about it.

Devern Hansack might be shoved off a pier.

Misc. Yankees outfielder Austin Jackson hit a grand slam last night off poor little Dev Hansack. Can I call him Dev? It sounds kind of British! AJAX was then reassigned to minor league camp.

One-time McCoy Stadium Special Guest Star David Ortiz was responsible for the sole Boston RBI. He batted in Angel Chavez.

Chris Carter doubled and made an error. No one tripled for Boston, which is so disappointing.

Who the hell is R. Dent? I should know this, right? He must be one of those skinny-boy single A kids.

The team is headed off this afternoon to play the Reds, who are much less interesting than the Pirates.


what does it all mean?

Paul McAnulty was sent to minor league camp. He ain't too mad at you.

It looks like Brad Wilkerson will get the Mark Kotsay job. That's my prediction, although I'm usually wrong about this stuff.

I saw T. Epstein on TV last night and he said "YEAH RIGHT!" as far as scoping out the waiver wire for U. Inf. Why even bother when you have Nick Green?

Is this the longest spring training in history or what?

Luke Allen has been giving it a lot of thought.

Luke Allen was a right-fielder type who played in Pawtucket in 2006. He was signed by the Dodgers as an amateur free agent in 1996 (he would have been about 18).

Allen hung out in the Dodgers org. for about four years. He then hit the triple-A circuit in the PCL for a little bit until being signed by Boston in '05.

Allen spent time in both Portland in Pawtucket in '06, but was kind of screwed with favorite son Adam Stern and new hotshot David Murphy being there around the same time. Allen also had an injury or two, including bruised ribs and heart cleavage.

After Pawtucket, Mr. Allen found himself back in double A and back in the Dodgers org, playing in 33 games for the Jacksonville Suns. He struggled and was released. He suffered, died and was buried. On the third day he rose again, playing Can-Am ball for the New Jersey Jackals in 2008!

Luke Allen is currently a free agent. Okay?

two things:
1. Luke Allen had a sweet red bike that he rode to McCoy and parked at the base of the ramp, just inside the doors.
2. His little boy would often sign autographs on the way out, just like dad!
3. LA got himself a taste of Mexico in '07.
4. Luke Allen is not a baby!

I couldn't find a decent photo of Luke Allen to steal. Imagine a pouty guy, 6'2" and blondie... a little on the pudgy side. Harmless looking even though he never smiles. In uniform, with rec-specs and high socks.


3.22.09 Some PawSox guys v. the Phillies

Yesterday, Chris Carter hit his fourth home run of the season.

Jed Lowrie doubled. He doubled quite a bit in Pawtucket. He's been hitting very well lately, really amping up his Boston superstardom. Sadly, I have no Pawtucket-style Lowrie anecdotes. I only remember stuff about guys like Tim Bausher.

Ivan Ochoa made an error.

I forgot to mention that Chip Ambres hit a home run the other day. It's going to be so cool to see him back at McCoy.

APRIL 17TH!!!!

Rhode Island Dead

In Red Sox news, Michael Bowden, a pitcher, has been sent to the minors. Junichi Tazawa, yet another pitcher, has also been sent to the minors.

Corey Koskie retired! Wow. I didn't realize it was a comeback attempt after not playing baseball for a couple of seasons. What a great guy.


George Crap-taras

Oh, dear. I guess I was wildly wrong as usual.

we will yell with all of our might

I hate this boring story, mostly, but it involves Sandy Madera so here goes.

Who will be the other catcher?

Word on the street is that Madera's been working as a catcher this spring. It would be pretty cool to see him catch in Pawtucket, but Boston is not happening.

Dusty Brown then? Yeah, him. Unless it's someone else.



SPD: If you want me to, I will

Boston beat Minnesota 9-5 yesterday.

Denard Span, who is such a great guy, hit a home run off Papelbon. YES.

Jacoby Ellsbury hit his first homer of the season.

Chip Ambres walked. It was pretty exciting. And Gil Velazquez, another good guy, is still hanging in there.

It's getting closer. (Isn't it weird how John Williams writes this simple theme song for a movie about a killer shark and he just... freaking... nailed it? He should get some kind of award for that!)

Kason Gabbard: They Made Him Mad

Do you remember Kason Gabbard? Of course you do! He was a decent lefty in Pawtucket, but I wasn't a big fan, for misc. reasons. Texas has assigned him to minor league camp, so I guess he's not doing too well.

In a related story, I did not get my wish regarding Hunter Jones. He got chopped, along with Josh Reddick, Zack Daeges, and Felix Doubront. They're doing jumping jacks over there with the scrubs.

Wes Littleton... GONE! Did not pass thru waivers, will get a chance to gossip about Michael Bowden with Chris Smith in Milwaukee.

Josh Bard... RELEASED! This surprised me. What was his fatal flaw?

And Junior Spivey has been signed to a minor league contract by the Mets.


now you know how nice it feels

Pawtucket kids Lowrie, Carter, and Bailey each homered today off Roy Halliday. Is Lowrie still considered PawSox? I'd like to answer that in two ways: First, in a normal typeface, then in italics.



Anyway, have you heard? SuperJed also hit two doubles. So did Jason Lane. I know! I, too, thought Jason Lane had been donated to the Mariners! Hunter Jones got the save, with one hit and one K in the ninth. Don't the hit and the strikeout cancel each other out, like caffeine and alcohol?

I know spring training stats are meaningless, but what the hell else am I going to write about? Luke Allen's whereabouts? Well, yeah.

I love Hunter Jones. Please don't kill him.


Justin Turner knows you're probably going to say no.

Yesterday the Baltimore Orioles defeated Boston 9-8.

Devern Hansack pitched the fourth and fifth inning and gave up four hits, two of them homers (Justin Turner, Nick Markakis). Hunter Jones also surrendered a home run to JT in the seventh. Jones gave up two runs in the seventh all told.

So Baltimore hit five home runs yesterday aft! One of the crushers was Felix Pie, who's still bubbling away under the golden crust of goodness. I may see him this summer.

Angel Chavez went two for three with a double. Rocco Baldelli doubled as well. And some lumbering minor league DH-type managed to triple.

I do not know who Justin Turner is. Baltimore got him from the Reds (along with some other dude) in exchange for catcher Ramon "Discover Me" Hernandez. Any major dude will tell you he's an up-and-coming infielder who should probably work on his defense. Holy crap, that could be anybody!

In further Orioles news, former Pawtucket pitcher and noted humanitarian Dave Pauley has pitched 9 1/3 innings down there. ERA = 7.72, not sure how many walks he's given up or anything. We've got to help people because people need our help!


we're gonna do it

Let's take a look and see how Chris Smith is doing in Milwaukee!

Except he is a stat-free ghost with a wicked high uniform number. Damn it.

Former Brewer Julian Tavarez has agreed to a minor league deal with the W. Nationals.

Former PawSox outfielder Trot Nixon is batting .080 in 25 at-bats for Milwaukee. WHOA, DUDE!

Former Boston bullpen guy Eric Gagne's been released by the Brewers due to injury/surgery or something. You all could have been a little nicer to Gagne, if you know what I mean.

In a related story, someone's finally written about Bailey without bringing up Wilkerson, Carter, and McAnulty. WAS THAT SO HARD, EVERYONE EXCEPT ME?!


2009 PawSox Special Event Schedule (with fireworks!)

Lookin at my Gucci it's about that time! Here are some upcoming McCoy Stadium events for 2009. Note: Anything involving fireworks will sell the fuck out.


May 1 - 6:15
May 24 - 6:05
July 2 - 6:15
July 3 - 6:15 (Note: no box seats left for this game!)
Sept 4 - 6:15

No Justice - Age 14 and under Giveaways

April 17 (7:05) - Opening Night Photo Ball (first 3,000)
May 16 (6:05) - Yet Another Photo Ball (4,000)

June 3 (7:05) - Junk Ball (similar to a Wiffle Ball, first 3,000)
June 5 (7:05) - Bat Night (No FAIR! first 4,000)
June 30 (7:05) - PawSox #1 foam finger (first 3,000)
July 25 (6:05) - Jon Lester Bobblehead Night ("Can I get one for my other five kids who aren't here? COME ON!" /annoying, greedy adults) ONLY 4,000!

August 19 (7:05) - PawSox cheesy notebook with bad graphics (3,000)
August 25 (7:05) - back to school binder (4,000)

Yes, people line up two hours before game time for this crap:

April 18-22 - unwieldy schedule poster
June 27 (6:05) - plastic travel mug (with handle **LQQK**!!!) (first 4,000)
July 12 (1:05) - re-usable shopping bag (first 3,000)
July 26 (1:05) - stupid pink PawSox t-shirt (first 3,000 females)
August 5 (7:05) - team poster (all you zombies) (warning track autograph action)
August 7 (7:05) - replica jersey (first 5,000) (will be gone in 10 minutes)
August 27 (7:05) - team card set (w personal info!) (ALL FANS)

Hope Your Special Day is Special:

April 17 (7:05) - Opening Night Celebration (skippable)
April 18 (1:05) - Paws' 10th birthday party!! ZOMG!

May 3 (1:05) - Star Wars Day!
May 17 (1:05) - Sunday post-game family fun fest! (carnival with no rides or midway)

June 8 (7:05) - Red Sox Legends Night (TBA, but I hope it's Trot Nixon!)
June 16 (7:05) - Armed Services Night (with paratrooping!) (pre-game ceremonies)
June 18 (7:05) - "Pink out" for breast cancer (pre-game ceremony)

Sept 5 (6:05) - Last home game celebration! (sweet, yet so, so bitter)

After every Sunday home game, kids can run the bases. What no Latin Night this year??!

If I were you, I would get your tickets sooner rather than later. Even though we are not in a recession or anything, I'll bet minor league tickets will be much harder to buy on the day of the game.

I have mine, so go get yours (chohk dee โชคดี). I love you.

you know I love you 99

Please take a moment to enjoy this piece of Manny Propaganda. Although the entire featurette is remarkable, one shining moment is the appearance of former PawSox great Edgar Martinez on or about 2:39. Martinez still has the bowl-fro in effect.

Edgar Martinez was just reassigned to minor league camp the other day, along with former Twins guy Carmen Cali. He only worked like 1 2/3 innings for LA. His ERA was 5.39 (one run given up). Good luck, kid!

My love for Manny may never erode.


that same old place that you laughed about

The following Pawtucket Red Sox gents have agreed to one-year deals with Boston:

Devern Hansack
Hunter Jones
Dusty Brown
George Kottaras
Chris Carter
Jonathan Van Every

Mike Bowden and Justin Masterson did, too, but I don't know if they count. I have previously said some not-nice things about Masterson. I feel bad about that. He seems like a good kid.

Charlie Zink has been sent to minor league camp. That's gotta be depressing, especially since he wasn't very good in his appearances. Zink is clearly a man without a country.


Nick Green SMASH!

Nick Green is leading the Grapefruit League in average (.526), hits (10), and runs (5). I should want to cook Nick a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.

Van Every and Zack Daeges are leading the Red Sox in home runs with 2. Jeff Bailey leads the RBI thing with six. He also leads the doubles list (3).

None of this counts, of course, because these kids are facing inferior pitching. Because of the WBC.

The Dutch team is so freaking exciting! I pretty much took the day off to watch WBC games. Yes.
You know what would be funny? Sponsoring a player page on Baseball Almanac or something for a player you hate.

And then your little message could say something like "I HOPE YOU DIE!"







Keith Foulke is still a misunderstood free agent and needs a job. He's also not returning my phone calls.

Mark Bellhorn recently was signed by the Rockies to a minor league contract.

Dave Roberts was released by the Giants and needs a job.

Pedro Martinez is a kick-ass Dominican pitcher but is still MLB teamless. So Manny has a book but Pedro does not?

Here's an interesting story involving Pokey Reese, Dmitri Young, and Griffey.

That's my 2004 World Champion Red Sox update.

Javier Lopez needs a date for his senior prom.

2009 is Javier Lopez's fourth year in this organization. And yet, who among us owns a Lopez t-shirt? I guess we can't all be Kevin Youkilis.

Lopez is pitching for Puerto Rico in the WBC. He spent parts of '06 and '07 in Pawtucket, hanging out in the bullpen and sharing his life with the other relievers. Let's see which other former PawSox are participating!

1. Bruce Chen - PANAMA! Chen started 15 games in Pawtucket back in '03. He may never die.
2. Alex Cora - Puerto Rico! AC played in 3 rehabbish games for Pawtucket last year. That counts, right?
3. Lenny Dinardo - ITALIA! Dinardo spent nearly all of 2005 in Pawtucket. It was then that I came to understand his inadequacy.
4. Ramiro Mendoza - PANAMA! Mendoza came out of the McCoy bullpen six times in 2004. I always had a soft spot for this kid. Pissed me off when he was booed during opening day intros at Fenway. That day my sister shouted, "IT WAS LAST YEAR, GET OVER IT!!"
5. Dustin Pedroia - USA. He was very exciting for me in 2006. You can read all about it in the dusty archives.
6. Matt Stairs - O, Canada! - Yes, Matt Stairs played for the PawSox many years ago (1995). He's got a lovely portrait on the McCoy Ramp of Champs.
7. Adam Stern - Canada! Stern was in Pawtucket 2005 and 2006. He had his own rabid fan club and they have several videos available, if you're interested. Plus 'If They Mated': Joe Rogan and Adam Sandler.
8. Joe Thurston - Dominican Republic? WHAT? I don't understand this it all. I suppose you really never know, dude. (Scott Hairston is Mexican?) (Ichiro is Japanese?!)
9. Kevin Youkilis - When he was on the Sea Dogs, he said the Portland women were ugly. Live, on the radio. Youkilis is not exactly an oil painting, so where does he get off? Oh, yeah, he's a jock. Typical. Youkilis is also a Ramp Champ and a baseball superstar and remarkable athlete.
10. Julio Zuleta - PANAMA! Zuleta played first base for Pawtucket in 2003. Seemed like a good guy.

Okay, Joe Thurston is NOT Dominican. It's just that the Cardinals loaned a few players to the Dominican team. Wow, that makes perfect sense!

Quick note: Hanley Ramirez never played a single game for the PawSox.

(Honorable mention goes to Australian dude Brett Roneberg, who was on the Sea Dogs.)


Dmitri Young is like your cousin.

This evening I watched a TV special about Dmitri Young. The program also featured his brother Delmon.

It changed my opinion of Dmitri Young. I feel bad for thinking he was a head case and a screw-up. He seems like a nice guy, pretty ordinary. Except he can mash and whatnot. It sucked that he had to miss the Tigers playoffs.

Delmon Young threw a bat at an umpire at McCoy Stadium a few years ago. He seems to have matured considerably.

It was a good show.

Separately, Doug Mientkiewicz is on the Dodgers now and he's hit a couple of homers in ST. I still love him.

Brandon Moss and his thumb

Brandon Moss has dislocated his thumb. He was spiritedly diving for a Michael Cuddyer ball during a spring training game and... bent. Ouch.

I'm upset on his behalf.

Congratulations to you both, I hope somewhere you're happy

Jonathan Eugene Van Every and G. Kottaras each hit home runs offa Tampa Bay's Jason Hammel on Saturday. Hooray for them.

Bailey had a pair of hits today. He's currently batting .471. Chris Carter's also doing well, batting .375 and working out all day n' stuff. Because he's intense, man.

Jed Lowrie's doing great. No, he's not going to be the starting SS for Boston. Come on. We all know it's going to be Julio Lugo. Obviously.

indoor auto racing in Providence

Tonight I went downtown to check out midget racing and champ kart racing.

It was fun. I almost didn't make it, though, because I had a purple hand.


Nick Green is 30

Nick Green: Is he Joe Thurston or is he Keith Ginter?

Greeny (I am certain of it) spent all of last year in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre (NYY) and was a real Lowly Worm (.233/.285/.658). He also lead the team in errors (19).

He has played a smattering of MAJOR LEAGUE games for Seattle (2007), Tampa Bay ('06), the Yankees ('06), and Atlanta in 2004. I suppose he led a meaningless, empty existence until he was drafted by the Braves in 1998.

Today... or yesterday, I forget which, Nick Green hit a line drive that knocked pitcher Grant Balfour (TBY) on the right forearm. Hard. He's having a goodish spring and is reasonably good-looking, in a generic way.

I tried really hard to uncover something exciting about Nick Green, but there are only so many hours in a day. Who knows, though? He could tear it up in Pawtucket and I could get all Brocktoon on his ass. You remember how much I liked Ed Rogers!

2009 Pawtucket Red Sox (pawsox) schedule

Sure, you could go to their ugly and lame web site, but isn't mine a lot cuter? No, wait... it's edgy and DIY!

Print this out! Stick to fridge!


Jeff Bailey, again. And again. Infinity.

Who is this guy? I mean, really.

A few things he said in the paper: "It’s one of those ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ type deals," Bailey said. "I know what they’ve told me. I kind of take that with a grain of salt. I’m going to get my opportunity [this spring] with guys being hurt and other guys going to the WBC. I want to hit the ball hard and I’m not trying to put on a homer show. I want to play better defense, that’s my main focus down here. My offense, I feel, is going to be there."

Working on yr defense is pretty neat. The offense is there so I guess Bailey can afford to be nonchalant about it. I also like how he's not putting much stock into being called up.

"I’m comfortable here," he said. "I love all the people from the top to the bottom. With what’s going on right now, it’s not that I don’t believe them because they have never been dishonest with me. The opportunity is there. We’ll see what happens."

He loves all the people, and that means YOU, Pawtucket fan! And YOU, local sponsor! And the concession stand kids! Paws and Sox! Mike "Dreyfuss" Gwynn!

There's too much Jeff Bailey going on around here, but I can't help it when he drops phrases like "homer show". Besides, who gives a fuck about Paul McAnulty? Is he interesting?

I have no idea what I'll do when JB finally sails away. I'll have to dry up and write about jerks like Jon Lester and Lars Anderson.

Rich Sauveur is back.

Rich Sauveur will return to McCoy Stadium in 2009, which you already knew but I am reminding you. He is the sexy pitching coach. WHAT?

RS had a few things to say about the kidz:

Hunter Jones: "...I told him when he came off the mound that he looked good. He said he wasn't really happy with the sliders. I said, 'But, the thing was you pitched. They couldn't tell what you were going to be throwing. [In the past] you'd throw fastballs in counts just because you didn't trust your slider. Today you trusted your slider, even though it wasn't the best. But, the thing was they couldn't sit back on the fastball. And he impressed me a lot. I'm very happy with that. And talking with him too out in the outfield during BP, you can tell he's got something to prove also."

Marcus McBeth: "He's a little bit behind but he had a tough winter. But I'll tell you, you sit there and talk to him and he's a great kid and he also wants to do well. He really does. He's not here to get anything free. He's working his butt off. He's ready to go. He threw [Wednesday and Thursday] and he'll throw live BP [Friday], and he's ready to get in a game."

Billy Traber: "I saw Billy last year in Scranton. He struggled a little bit [Wednesday], but it's one of those things, it's his first outing of the spring. He pitched well against us last year, especially in key situations, and that's probably what stuck in my head that there were a couple of situations that we needed some base hits and we didn't get them off him. He can get lefties out. He's got some good stuff. And he can get righties out, too. He's got a good changeup, and as long as he stays down in the zone and he's throwing strikes, he'll do well."

Zink: "I think he can improve on last season and be consistent all the way throughout now. He was consistent most of the time, but down the stretch I want to say there were probably two or three outings where it probably wasn't what he wanted. And I would say if he could be consistent all the way thru (sic), I think he could help Boston if they need a starter just like Bowden did last year. Zink went up and didn't have his best stuff, but that happens. You cannot take anything away from him because of that one game in Boston because the kid pitched well for the PawSox and I'm very happy for that. I want to see him do well. I'm pulling for him, just like I am everybody, but he worked very hard. He had a very good routine, and he stuck to it. Every game, every side work was the same. He wants to pitch in the big leagues. He wants to get back there. I know that. He's another guy that knows he has to prove something."

(Note: Sauveur was a k-baller in his day.)

Full article aqui. Sauveur also talks about guys like Buchholz, Bowden, KJ, but those guys are boring and have been discussed at great length by pros and hos.

By the way, the PawSox new website is terrible and I hate it.

Klinger got his tickets a long time ago.

It looks like the Toledo Mud Hens opening day game is sold out, because they are going to put SRO seats on sale. These tickets cost ten dollars, which will get you a box seat in Pawtucket.

It also appears that there will be two opening days. Oh, really? What super-accelerated genius in Ohio has perfected time travel?

That's like having more than one person throw out the first pitch at a ball game.

Looks like I picked the wrong AAA park to visit this year!


consume mass quantities

The Bisons' popular beer vendor "Conehead" is going to sit up on a highway billboard tomorrow. To promote opening day. Good thing Buffalo isn't cold or anything!

Conehead also works at Frontier Field in Rochester. He also does vendor duty incognito.

"Conehead Guarantee
You get a warm beer from me
You drink it for free!"

In a related story, former PawSox great Roberto Petagine has been inducted into the IL Hall of Fame as an Indianapolis Indian. You remember how much I loved him!