4.29.10 Red Sox v Indians - Relax... I'm a professional!

Indianapolis WINS! 4-1. Pirates "hottie" Daniel Mccutcheon gets the win. Seven innings of one-run sweetness and more rich, creamy strikeouts than walks. Delicious.

And YES, Lars Anderson is in town. I'm inclined to dislike Anderson, because not only was he a jerk to a friend of mine, but I have heard from multiple sources that he's kind of a tool. I'm sure people he works with will say otherwise - especially media types - but he's probably a lot nicer to them anyway.

THAT BEING SAID, I am going to try and remain unbiased. Even though I was just getting used to Aaron Bates. And also, Anderson subbed for Wagner in the sixth and grounded out.

Randor Bierd pitched five innings and zzzzzzzz. Can we talk about Robert Manuel? YES. Manuel has yet to allow a run in twelve innings, including the two hitless ones tonight. Manuel DID walk Brian Friday and Neil Walker, but word on the street is that the Indians are evidently The Men Who Stare at Pitches. They said it on the air on the radio! And not only that, but shortly after I did my Channel Zero Investigative Report on RM, he was the pre-game guy on Rhode Island Conservative AM Radio! He is currently my favorite.

Pawtucket's only run was Reddick's solo home run in the sixth.

i've been uh... working out:
1. Daniel McCutcheon threw 103 pitches. Again, it always amazes me how visiting teams have no problem working their starters in contrast to Boston's conservative minors approach. Except for Hansack, because he is A LEGEND.
2. I didn't go to the park because it was cold and the days where I subject myself to that crap are over. I tried watching it on TV, but there were tech problems and they only showed about three innings. It was so bad. I did enjoy Randor Bierd's crazy balk and the pre-game interview with that woman who ran a half marathon or was an Olympian or something. It's for charity!
3. Wil Ledezma was once again an effective closer and was credited with the save. I think he is so great.
4. Bubba Bell made both a fielding error and an assist. So they cancel each other out. I love Bubba Bell. Maybe we can be roommates one day.
5. Catcher Luke Carlin went 2-4 with a triple.

Oh, yeah, one last thing. While there are some great Pirates blogs, there's almost zero coverage of the Indians. I mean, compare it to Buffalo or even like Lehigh Valley. I keep searching for stuff and it's pathetic. Maybe I'll do it!

I WILL be at the park tomorrow.

Particle Men

I'm not talking about pitchers, here. Not now. Not yet. Maybe never.

I took a look at batters who played in at least 50 games over the years in Pawtucket. I'll start with 2006, for no real good reason. I wanted to see the number of guys who were just roster stuffing v guys who came up through the system. Not just draftees... guys who started at double A and below, too.

2006 hitters: 14 (Hee-Seop Choi! Tyler Minges! Willie Harris!)
Franchise kidz: Two. Pedroia and David Murphy.

2007 hitters: 12. This was the year that Bobby Scales was here, being remarkable.
Franchise kidz: Four. Ellsbury, D. Murphy, Brandon Moss, and Chad Spann.

2008 hitters: Only ten guys played in more than 50 games. This may have been the year Ron Johnson hard a hard time remembering everybody. It was also the Year That Keith Ginter Was Here.
Franchise kidz: Three. Dusty Brown, Jed Lowrie, and Spann. Jeff Corsaletti, Brandon Moss, and Jeff Natale all played in a good amount of games, though.

2009 hitters: 13! Freddie Guzman! I loved him!
Franchise kidz: Four. Aaron Bates, Dusty Brown, Bubba Bell, Natale.

And now, here comes 2010! Currently there are EIGHT organizational soldiers playing misc positions and DH'ing and first base coaching and whatever. (They must have to do scut work like pitchers do, right?)

Dusty Brown, Mark Wagner, Aaron Bates, Jorge Jimenez, Ryan Khoury, Bubba Bell, Daniel nava, and Matt Sheely. And Josh Reddick could maybe be nine.

I don't have a point to any of this. Well, except I don't have to do too much research on these guys because I know them already. Where are the Travis Denkers, the Sean Danielsons, the Alex Prietos? Those types of guys are my favorite. WHERE IS THE MYSTERY?

I'll be back later.


4.28.10 Pawtucket Red Sox v Indianapolis Indians

>Indianapolis (heretoafter, Indy) wins! 10-9 thanks to Fernando Cabrera blowing his first Pawtucket save.

But I'm not looking at Cabrera because I am looking at Michael Bowden and wondering what the hell I am missing. First, Bowden's line: 4 2/3 innings, five hits, seven earned runs, three walks, and two K's. Bowden threw 89 pitches, 50 for strikes. Two home runs, one a grand slam. Not a great start, but also not terribly far from a typical one.

I really have yet to be dazzled by Bowden. Or maybe I have been dazzled once or twice, but I've forgotten about it. (Entirely possible at my age.) But what is so exciting about him? Am I that dumb about pitching prospects? He'd better have a bitchin' summer!

And now, Indians. Starter Kevin Hart had 99 problems on the mound, giving up 8 runs to Pawtucket. Things like that happen when you give up seven hits and four walks in two innings. Evidently, Hart had location difficulty. After three innings, the Red Sox were ahead 9-3.

let's skip ahead:
1. Would you believe that Pawtucket scored nine runs with only ONE hit for extra bases? That would be Mister Tug Hulett's double in the second.
2. Wil Ledezma got the save for Indianapolis. Do you know who else pitched? Vinnie Chulk! I KNOW! Vinnie Chulk is like Cher in terms of celebrity relievers.
3. Margin Walker hit a home run right away in the first inning, setting the tone for DESTRUCTION. Walker wound up going 4-4 with three RBI. You have to meet this guy!
4. Outfielder Jose Tabata is like 20 years old and rather interesting. I do, however, miss Andrew McCutcheon. I guess some birds just aren't meant to be caged.
5. Dusty Brown did not get a hit, but he did get two walks. He's also the man that Kottaras could never be. I can overlook the two passed balls.
6. Kevin Frandsen was DFA'd. If I understand correctly, he is not supposed to be hanging out in the clubhouse or anything, availing himself of gym equipment or smoothie makers or hair gel. Which is so dumb, if you ask me. FRANDSEN!
7. Bubba Bell led the team in runs batted in today with three. Yeah, he's definitely getting shitcanned!
8. Brian Myrow hit the grand slam. I have never heard of him before, but now I will never forget him.
9. Brandon Moss got a lot of love during his time in Pawtucket. Just like Chris Carter! So why do I like Moss and not Carter? I don't want to say, because I am a lady.

Tomorrow! I think I'll go to the game provided it's a few degrees warmer. I do so love the Pirates' minor leaguers.



In the Providence paper yesterday, there was an article about Portland prospects versus Pawtucket scrubs. It included this great line: "The veterans who had become so popular, guys like Jeff Bailey and Chris Carter, Charlie Zink and Keith Ginter, have moved on..."

Keith Ginter! Keith Ginter! Ginter played in Pawtucket in 2007! Was he a thing? Was he a fan favorite? I laughed and laughed when I read this.

Also, P. Kenyon messed up Jose Iglesias' name.


edit: Ginter played in 2008. Looks like I ruined Christmas.


Baby Chris Carter has moved on.

"I had a pretty cool time coming back to Pawtucket. In a way, it was a lot like spring training, what with all the crazy stalker chicks up on my jock."

4.26.10 Buffalo will be back in August.

And thank Maude for that! PawSox win, 5-1.

I am astonished at how dumb I can be sometime. I predicted Kris Johnson's start to be poor. But it turns out he pitched really well. Johnson pitched five innings with three strikeouts and just the one unearned run. That run was the result of Kevin frandsen's throwing error in the second, which allowed Cervenak to boogie over to second base. Chris Carter, who had kicked off the second with a single, eventually crossed the plate thanks to Andy Green's groundout.

And Robert Manuel continues to be freakishly good, going three scoreless and keeping a tight grip on his 0.00 ERA. Joe Nelson polished off the last inning like a piece of huckleberry pie.

Lefty Bobby Livingston fared considerably worse for Buffalo. BL took the bullet for four runs and FIVE Pawtucket walks during his five 90-pitch innings.

How's that for an awkward sentence?

and now, the dirty:
1. Frandsen and Daniel Nava each homered this afternoon.
2. Kris Johnson came pretty close to giving up a second run in the second, but Josh Reddick nailed Mike Cervenak at home.
3. Jesus Feliciano has been moved up in the Buffalo lineup.
4. No Hessmania? Hessman did not get a hit.
5. Nice, crisp game: Two hours and 18 minutes.

Tomorrow! Fabio Castro will face Jeremy Powell. Guess who else is coming? Neil Walker! I know!

JV athlete, JV personality.

I can't believe Van Every is back. Too bad Brandon Moss doesn't play center. I used to dislike Jonny Sunshine, but I got over it. However, if Lincoln Holdzkom comes back, it's all over. I'LL DROP BRICKS!!

And please read this very good Peter Douglas analysis re: the reacquisition. Prediction: PTBNL will be a Latin infielder in the low minors.

Today's game is at noon and Kris Johnson is getting his first start of the year. It's almost like a last chance for Johnson. If he blows this, then he'd better start fretting. Because he hasn't done anything good in a long time.

LHP Bobby Livingston will get the start for Buffalo. You guys enjoy that.

4.25.10 Yes, okay, we get it Buffalo.

Maybe Mets fans would be a little less bitter if they saw a Bisons game like this one. 10-3 with Pawtucket at the ass end. Mister Pat Misch went seven innings for the Herd and got the win.

Red Sox starter Adam Mills was kind of a disaster. Mills gave up eleven hits in five innings. Six runs under his watch, although it should have been more. Even the outs were hit hard.

Reliever Chad Paronto pitched the next two innings and allowed four more runs. Ramon Ramirez managed to polish off the last pair of innings without crapping his pants.

Getting back to Buffalo: Since when is Jason Pridie not a useless batter? And what's with Jesus "Daywalker" Feliciano going 4-5 with a home run? RUSS FREAKING ADAMS WENT 3-5!!!

Mike Cervenak also had three hits. I'll bet he was all hot and sweaty.

And then there's Mike Jacobs, who also cranked out a homer. right after Feliciano! Jacobs was so fresh to the team that his jersey was nameless. Furthermore, his number 44 was just a couple of upside down h's.

the schwartz:
1. It was technically Star Wars day, but it was weak compared to last year.
2. Mike Jacobs needed a triple to complete the cycle.
3. I attended this game, but...

You know what, I'm tired.


4.24.10 Pawtucket v Buffalo - RA Dickey is kind of Brit-pop.

RA Dickey pitches another jerk-offable game as Buffalo swipes game 2, 4-2.

Dickey gave up two runs and pitched eight innings. I would love a guy like that in Pawtucket, like a real ace to get excited about. (Did I just call Dickey an ace?) But, guh, that is not what we are here for.

Righty John Lujan pitched the ninth inning and got the save.

Randor Bierd got the start for Pawtucket. It was respectable, but not enough to win. Alan Embree is fucking you up with the truth and really showing everyone what a killer lefty he is. Do you feel nostalgic? I do.

you're so beautiful/you're my homeboy:
1. In true knuckleballer style, Dickey hit both Nava and A. Sanchez. Remember how Charlie Zink used to lead the league in HBP? That was awesome. I don't miss it.
2. Filthy, dirty Mike Cevenak homered off Randor B. It must have been pretty hot.
3. Zeroes in the hit column: Frandsen, Jimenez, Sanchez, Hulett, and Wagner.
4. WHAT?! Wait. Dickey did not walk anyone, according to the box score. Is HBP not the same as a walk, scoring-wise? I HAVE BEEN DOING IT WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME?!

My breakfast is ruined! I feel so dumb. Good thing I am against perfection! Bye, I'm going to Star Wars day.


Say it... uncover. Say it.... hygiene.

On the PawSox scorecard, it says Jorge Jimenez was born in 'Santruce', PR. It is, in fact, 'Santurce'.

Also, on Matt Sheely's line, it says he played in 'Porltand' last year.

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE EFFING SPELL RIGHT? I'm not even getting paid for this, but my spelling errors are far and few between. Even if they are typos, doesn't anything get proofread? Do I have to do everything around here? 'Frandson'?! 'Daegas'?! KUDDOS?!! REALLY?

I point out people's mistakes because I'm compensating for my own low self-esteem.

My prediction? PAIN.

When Josh Reddick and Darnell McDonald return, Bubba Bell is outta here.

That's my prediction.

By the way, is Kason Gabbard still in extended spring training? Why is he still hanging around? Why was he brought back? I have so many questions.

4.23.10 Red Sox Return Home, Defeat Future Mets

5-3 Pawtucket. Michael Bowden had a typical start, enduring four innings/76 pitches. While Bowden wasn't terribly sharp, I think he got the hook a little early.

Bowden must have been stressed out in the third inning. He started it off by walking 15-year-old infielder Ruben Tejada and then followed that up by walking IL Repeat Offender Jason Pridie.

Then! Russ Adams hits this shot to center field and he was kind of loafing it to first, which was dumb because it wasn't caught and it didn't leave the park. It turned into a long single. What a waste, Russ Adams!

So hot prospect Fernando Martinez flies out to center (nice catch, Bubba Bell), and then Mike Hessman strikes out. Hessman was all mad about the strike zone and amde his opinions known, which resulted in an ejection. Andy Green replaced him in the game, which put a damper on HESSMANIA!!

Chris Carter batted next and was hit by a pitch. Except, I'm pretty sure he was faking it. No matter - he was stranded on first when Mike Cervenak flied out.

TOBI STONER. Stoner pitched six innings and walked half the park. And gave up all five runs. Jorge Jimenez cranked one out in the third inning with Bubba Bell on second, giving the Red Sox their first two runs.

Kiko Calero (yes) squeezed out the last two innings in a lovely, scoreless fashion. But alas, Pawtucket's relief was strong. Alan Embree has more than atoned for his prior mistakes. You know what he's doing to his ERA? He's jumping on it like Daffy Duck, stuffing it back into the lamp while screaming, "DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!"

Robert Manuel was especially cool, pitching a pair of scoreless innings. He has yet to allow a run.

1. Joe Nelson and Fernando Cabrera also got some work in.
2. I feel as though I have been overlooking Dusty Brown and his contributions to the team. I watched him nail Mike Cervenak during some base stealing action and it was so cool. I wonder if his heart rate increases when he's about to throw to second and get the runner? I know mine would. My heart would pound and I'd be thinking "I'M GONNA GET HIM I'M GONNA GET HIM I'MGONNAGETHIM!!!!"
Anyway. Dusty Brown is solid. In my mind, he's getting a slow clap.
3. Speaking of Cervenak, he's been around for a few years and how have I never noticed how dirty and greasy he is? It's pretty hot. I like his brown hair.
4. I'm sure you heard about the PawSox playing Carter's old at-bat music last night. I guess you have to be a fan of his to appreciate that.
5. Angel Sanchez is handsome-ish, too. Wait, no. I never said that!

Today! The lovely and talented and sensual Randor Bierd gets the start v Bisons endurance man RA Dickey. I wish I could go.



Homestand handstand. Handsome? Winsome? WIN SOME!!

HOMESTAND!!! For two young summers that meant I had to go work. And it was like that guy in that movie said:

guy: When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track.
other guy: That sucks.
guy: No, actually it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me.

Except I didn't buy an eight track. And, technically, I wasn't flipping burgers. Or getting laid. I did party a lot, though! I had to! It gets really hot in the concession stands!

Please enjoy this eight-game homestand, divided up into Buffalo and Indianapolis. Recent Mets callup Tobi Stoner starts tonight v Bowden. Stoner's tag line is "Rollin' Back In", which at first I thought was a marijuana reference. But I think they mean he's a rollin' Stone(r). Weak.

Also, Chris Carter is back in town. Everyone should be on their knees for Mister Perfect! Mike Jacobs has cleared wavers and will report to Buffalo this weekend, which makes some people wonder where Carter will fit in.

Here's a video I posted a hundred years ago, but I am bringing it back because it makes me laugh.



4.22.10 Phillies Triple-A team Thrills Crowd, Sells Popcorn

Lehigh Valley WINS! 12-3. And ties their run-scoring record AGAIN!

Pawtucket didn't score until the seventh inning, and it certainly wasn't against NAME PLAYER Brad Lidge. The man on the hill was Jason Anderson (THE Jason Anderson?!). Daniel Nava led the inning off with a single, but... well, the next batter was Bubba Bell and what do you think happened? Yes, Bell grounded into a force play. Ooooh, prospecty move there, Bubba!

With Bell selfishly standing on first, Kevin Frandsen hits a line drive to center, picking an RBI as Useless crosses home plate for the first Pawtucket run.

Jorge Jimenez followed Frandsen's hit with an RBI double. The third run went down in the ninth with Mike "Bronko" Zagurski pitching, when Matt Sheely singled and advanced to second via defensive indifference. An error at first base allowed Sheely to scamper home.

And now, the bad stuff: Ramon A Ramirez and the Deadly Seventh. The score was 6-2. Not good, but reasonable. Ramirez loads the bases with three consecutive singles. And then Chris Duffy doubles. Two runs in. Mayberry singles: two more runs score. Cody Ransom doubles: He gets to second base!

Okay, so no runs batted in for Ransom in the seventh. But DeWayne Wise hit another two-run double... oh, man.

So... Fernando Cabrera had a nice, clean inning!

1. Bubba Bell went 0-4 with two strikeouts. At least Tug Hulett walked!
2. The home plate umpire was Vic Carapazza. Great name, but he's no Val Pascucci!
3. Starter Fabio Castro only pitched three innings. He entered the fourth, but did not get any outs.
4. "The Phillies did a great job getting me on a strengthening program and then getting me back in games when I was ready," said Lidge, reading from an index card handed to him in haste.
5. Lehigh Valley infielder Luis Maza went 4-5 with a triple.

Tomorrow! The Red Sox return home for some hot Buffalo action. I'd invite you to come, but I'm sure you have better things to do on a Friday night.


Yet another blog about the PawSox.

I am astounded. McCoy security dude and PW Rick Medeiros has a blog called 'Rollin' With Rick'. I guess because he is always tooling around in his golf cart?

At one time, I might have experienced great anguish and consternation over the "competition", but I trust my stuff. This is the World's Most Dangerous PawSox Blog!

I love you guys so much.

Robert Mehmet Manuel has cobra clutched for less.

Who, exactly, is Robert Manuel? Let's find out... together. Take my hand. Okay, now give it back.

Kinda sticky, right? Yeah, I just spilled carrot soup on myself. Onward! Excelsior!

Robert Manuel was signed as an independent free agent by the Mets in 2005. He's lived in Houston his whole life and attended both San Jacinto North and Sam Houston.

and now, the noise of twang:
1. Start by reading this entire article. Thanks, Pat Andriola!
2. Scouting report: FBall tops at 87, unimpressive slider, loves his change, no out pitch. (from 'Lookout Landing')
3. Boston claimed Manuel off Seattle waivers. Seattle had gotten him from the Reds for Wladimir Balentien.
4. "Everything indicates this guy is ready to make an impact at the MLB level." Wait, seriously? (br)
5. In 2008, MiLB picked RM as the best reliever in the minors.
6. Check out the morale on this guy!
7. "One area of concern is his strong fly-ball tendencies. According to minorleaguesplits.com he has a career fly ball rate of 49.2 percent (compared to just 33.2 percent GB). This is alarming considering Fenway Park's short outfield dimensions in left and right fields." from Sabermetric Sox Report
8. "Manuel went undrafted out of Sam Houston State in Texas (is that redundant?), which may explain why he apparently has received no respect in his professional career to date. Nevertheless, he now has a career minor league ERA of 2.89 with a better than 5-to-1 Ks-to-BBs rate, and his numbers the last two seasons contain nothing to refute the assertion that he has been a major-league-caliber pitcher since the beginning of the 2008 season." - Burly's Baseball Musings
9. Robert Manuel appeared in a few Reds games last year. In 4.2 innings, he did not allow a run.
10. "Manuel isn’t a flamethrower by any means (his fastball barely touches 90 MPH), but he relies on deception and a good changeup to get hitters out. He also possesses big league experience with Cincinnati, and won MiLB.com’s Minor League Pitcher Of The Year Award in 2008. In 36 games at Triple-A Louisville this season, Manuel had a 2.70 ERA, 10 saves, and a 38/10 K/BB ratio." - Seattle Sportsnet
11. "Robert Manuel doesn't have great stuff, but he has BOTH (a) a miniscule, 1+ BB rate, and (b) a miniscule, 0.5 homer rate. (So he's not getting a 1+ BB rate by just giving in on 2-0.) This makes him a Bob Tewksbury of the minor leagues." - Seattle Sports Insider featuring Jemanji

Was that good enough? I think so!

something funny about Jon Lester

Darnell McDonald is a sellout corporate conformist.

Not really. That's just me being shallow.

It doesn't surprise me that a lot of people had never heard of Darnell McD before.

There's plenty of evidence of my long-standing DM appreciation. And, whoa, I am excited for him. But to say he came from out of nowhere... no.


4.21.10 Red Sox at Iron Pigs - Welcome Matt (sorry)

Red Sox win, 8-4. Daisuke Matsuzaka was the story of the day, I suppose, but not for me!

Lefty Joe Savery was the losing pitcher for Lehigh Valley. With a name like that, Savery should be a) a closer, or b) Italian seasoning. Can you imagine that category on $10,000 Pyramid? Like at the end? 'Things That Are Savory'? That would be the hard, hard one.

Getting back to baseball: Savery worked five innings and barfed up four runs on seven hits, including a Kevin Frandsen home run. Frandsen! Alex Concepcion relieved Savery and couldn't get out of his inning, giving up four more Pawtucket runs. Well, three of them when Ehren Wasserman pitched, but still.

Pawtucket relievers Robert Manuel, Alan Embree, and Dustin Richardson provided 3 1/3 innings of hitless relief. Dustin Richardson worked two innings and got a couple of strikeouts.

Right fielder Daniel Nava was the RBI queen for the night with three. Nava hit a three-run double in the sixth inning.

1. Matt Sheely is in town. Gustavo Molina is off the DL. Three catchers? Uh-oh.
2. The Iron Pigs official website is actually really good.

Tonight! Brad Lidge expected to pitch. Fabio Castro goes for Pawtucket.


fuck me

It is, in fact, ERIK Lis. Not only that, it's JASON Repko.

Brendan McGair must be spinning in his grave.

Pawtucket @ Rochester Red Wings on April 19th, 2010

Red Sox win, 9-8. And that's not a comeback score for them - it was 9-1 until inning five (two runs) and inning six (five runs).

But let's back up. Randor Bierd got his first start of the year! Randy... Bierdy... Arby... whatever. Bierd. Bierd was five innings cool and coughed up three runs. Chad Paronto was the subsequent burrito. Paronto led off the sixth by giving up a single to Luke Hughes. Understandable, since Hughes has been killing the Red Sox.

(but then)

But then after getting DH Eric (or Erik, I don't know and I don't feel like looking it up) Lis to fly out, Little Danny Valencia singled. And catcher Wilson Ramos reached on an error. THANKS A LOT, RYAN KHOURY. WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?

Big Brock Peterson (I'd say he's also ugly, but he might not be) then hit an RBI single. And Dustin Martin steps up and hits a three-run homer. It was just one of those things. Joe Nelson had to enter the game and save the day. Rochester wouldn't score again and the PawSox enjoyed their post-game milk n cookies with clear consciences.

Glenn Perkins was the Red Wings starter and got 3 1/3 innings in. Perkins gave up seven runs so it was not a good night for him. Pawtucket was up 2-1 at the top of the fourth. They kicked off their five-run business with a helpful Kevin Frandsen double. Mark Wagner bunted him over (!), which was kinda academic since Aaron Bates homered directly afterward. POW!

Josh Reddick hit a two-run triple later that inning. Bubba Bell achieved extra-baseness. Daniel Nava got a hit. Red Wings fans fretted, were concerned.

Long story short: Pawtucket blew an 8-run lead and it was mostly Chad Paronto's fault. Rochester hit three home runs, but thanks to Kevin Frandsen and Mark Wagner, Torey Lovullo wasn't too, too mad.

just this morning, right before it got stolen, Frandsen offered... FRANDSEN!!
1. And that is how I say Frandsen's name in my head. Frandsen hit three doubles. He looks a little like Josh Wilson if you squint.
2. Alan Embree pitched a scoreless eighth. Robert Manuel closed it out.
3. Rochester's Kyle Waldrop pitched two scoreless innings with one strikeout. Is he their best reliever?
4. Darnell McDonald went 0-5 with 3 K's. Three RBIs for Mark Wagner.
5. Wings left fielder Brian Dinkelman made an error, but he erased the evil with a home run.

Tomorrow: Adam Mills and Dorothy Manship, still in Rochester.


Dave Gassner

Dave Gassner retired last summer and I didn't even know it. I realize that I am the only person who cares about this.

Gassner is from Wisconsin. He has conducted at least one baseball clinic.

Dave Gassner was a Boilermaker. I only found out what that is a few hours ago.


4.17.10 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Rochester

Red Wings take their home opener, 6-5. And it was really, really cold.

Lefty Fabio Castro Started for Pawtucket. Castro only worked three innings, but his pitch count was up to 71. There were walks, there were hits, there were three runs. Ramona Ramirez was effective for the next pair of innings, but reliever number two Joe Nelson gave up two more runs in the sixth.

Top of the eighth, Red Sox down by one. Aaron Bates doubles, bringing home Tug Hulett. Tie game! Joe Nelson is replaced by Fernando Cabrera in the bottom of the eighth. And Cabrera, after getting a couple of quick outs, gives up a single to Trevor Plouffe which proved to be his undoing. Luke Hughes found the RBI opportunity irresistible and cracked a hit over to left, doubling home Plouffe(y).

Angel Sanchez helpfully led off the ninth with a single, but after Bubba bell struck out, Jimenez lined out to D. Martin, doubling off Sanchez. Game over. Loss to Cabrera, win to Rochester reliever Rob Delaney. Delaney was also nicked with a blown save. Exciting!

Red Wings starter Yoslan Herrera pitched for five innings. There, I mentioned him. I'm running out of time!

way too cold for me:
1. Regarding Luke Hughes: "The frigid man from Down Under turned into Luke Warm in the Frontier Field opener, with three doubles and four runs batted in as Rochester edged the Pawtucket Red Sox 6-5." (from the Rochester paper).
2. Darnell McDonald continues to crush 'em - he tripled in this game. DMAC is not just a community college!
3. Bubba Bell went 0-4 with two strikeouts. Tick tick tick.
4. Listen to Luke Hughes and manager Tom Nieto post-game here. Just fucking do it, okay?

In a few hours! Michael Bowden and Mike Maroth. MIKE MAROTH?

Yes, Mike Maroth.


Another Home Opener for Pawtucket

Pawtucket once again will be present at the opposing team's home opener. This time, it's Rochester. And someone's getting a Purple Heart!

It's Michael Bowden versus Yoslan Herrera and it is going to be freezing. Four o'clock, be there.

Here's a picture of Mike Lowell in Buffalo.


Baby Chris Carter is not jealous.

"Mike Hessman? Please. Look at my FaceBook page compared to his, THEN let's talk about who's cooler."

4.15.10 Bisons R Horny

Buffalo WINS! 3-2 in ten. Reliever Chad Paronto gets the loss during his extra inning relief stint.

Matsuzaka D. went six deep, throwing 86 pitches. Dustin Richardson came in for the seventh and was accused of blowing the save when Ike Davis led things off with a single, then Mike fucking Hessman homered. HESSMANIA!!! This act of raw, sexy power tied the game up at two.

Embree nailed down the 8th inning without incident, even though hotshot Fernando Martinez was ready to rip it up. And then Paronto was the victim of Martinez busting a nut with an RBI single in the tenth to bring a win to the lovely Buffalo fans.

Pawtucket got its scoring in with hot spurts in the second and fifth. Aaron Bates hit a ground rule double off lefty starter Pat "Squee" Misch in the second and was brought home by a softy right field hit by Angel Sanchez.

And Darnell McDonald led off the fifth with a solo home run. Don't you just want to wear his sweater? Too bad it was stained by F. Martinez' game winning single!

1. Bubba Bell led off in place of Josh Reddick. Right now they are interchangeable, which is weird because Bubba Bell is not going to last the season in Pawtucket. And Reddick is media masturbation material.
2. Aaron Bates has more hits so far this year than he did all of last year. Yeah, I'm exaggerating. And it's early. It's good to see, though. BORICUA!!!
3. HESSMANIA!!! Hessman has 315 minor league home runs. Would you hit that?
4. Tug Hulett took out Buffalo starting second baseman Russ Adams with a hard slide in the third. In all fairness, Russ Adams had parked like an asshole.
5. Bisons first baseman Ike Davis is the Mets number one guy.
6. Alan Embree got three outs on nine pitches in the eighth. He took a look in the mirror, said 'wassup'. Remember when he sat at my table? That was awesome.

TODAY. Angelic lefty Fabio Castro versus filthy Dillon Gee. Six o'clock.



Fernando Cabrera just wants to stay home and snuggle.

Did Fernando Cabrera not travel with the team? Is it because he is injured?

Someone told me they saw him in Pawtucket last night, not far from the park. Cabrera's got a hot, unmistakable sex car. Plus, he's Fernando Cabrera. Kind of hard to miss.

Let me know.

4.14.10 Red Sox@ Buffalo Bisons - Dickey Do!

Buffalo WINS! 8-2. RA Dickey pitched a complete game, giving up only two runs. When was the last time a Pawtucket pitcher went the whole nine? I can think of only one candidate: Devern Hansack. Maybe him. Anyway, the New York Mets obviously don't give a crap about their farm system if they don't limit their guys to five innings/85 pitches. Whichever comes first.

Or maybe they just hate RA Dickey. 112 pitches, man.

Dickey was opposed by one mister Adam Mills. Mills(y) did the right thing and only pitched five innings. He gave up four runs on seven hits. Former PawSox person Chris Carter was the ruination of Red Sox pitchers. Carter hit a two-run triple (!) (?) in the second inning, a two-run double in the sixth (off freaking Kris Johnson), and a double in the bottom of the eighth. There was a single in there, too, but even Jason Pridie got one of those.

Pawtucket's two runs were thanks to a solo homer by Tug Hulett and a Darnell McDonald RBI single.

opening day wins will make you strong:
1. Looks like Kris Johnson sucks at relieving just as much as he sucks at starting.
2. If you care about batting averages, Darnell McDonald has the highest on the team. McD went 3-4.
3. Josh Reddick still hitless. It is very, very early. That being said: HA-ha!
4. Chris Carter. I just got so sick of hearing about how awesome he was and what a great guy and blah blah blah. Evidently, I am the only one able to refrain from fellating him. He can't fucking field. He did go 4-4, so bully for him. Here, watch this video.
5. HESSMANIA!!! Mike Hessman went 3-4 with a double.
6. Bisons SS Ruben Tejada is the youngest player to start for the team in 17 years (age 20). Tejada is from Panama.
7. "I throw a firm knuckleball, which creates its own wind,’ said Dickey, who also gave praise to his defense for some sharp work. ‘It was top notch. Cervy (LF Mike Cervenak) was out there putting on a show, and we got great ground balls. Today I had a pretty good one." source

That's all. Daisuke Matsuzaka will pitch in Buffalo tomorrow. They're calling it "Beat Boston Times two", since the Bruins are also playing the Sabres. Enjoy misc items costing $2.00

4.13.10 Pawtucket Red Sox v Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs - They wanted it more.

Red Sox lose, 12-0. WHAT.

Nine runs for Bonser, three for Ramon A. Ramirez. Joe Nelson, Chad Paronto, and Robert Manuel handled the last six innings in sweet scoreless fashion, since the kickoff guys ruined Christmas.

Brian Mazone got the win for the Iron Pigs.

Aaron Bates and Bubba Bell each had a pair of hits, but no one on the team could muster more than a single.

because the Iron Pigs are such an awesome team:
1. LV third baseman Cody Ransom subbed for Alex Rodriguez last year, you may recall. Ransom hit a two-run homer during the run-stuffed second inning.
2. Picture it: July 9th, 2009. The Iron Pigs were playing Pawtucket and WON THE GAME BY THE EXACT SAME SCORE OF 12-0. Looks like this game tied the Iron Pigs team record for runs scored!

Today! Road trip to Buffalo for the Bisons' home opener. Game starts at 3. RA Dickey v Adam Mills.

See you later.


Is this something you can share with the rest of us, Jeff Natale?

veteran backups/career minor leaguers like
both of which brought in a run
went first to third
change my number for ANYTHING
ran into problems in the sixth
and excellent speed


4.12.10 Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs come to town, are greased.

Pawtucket WINS! 6-5

Michael Bowden started for Pawtucket and did reasonably well. Bowden only tossed 45 pitches. 30 of them were for strikes, so enjoy that. Bowden kicked off the second inning by walking big boy Andy Tracy. Tracy advanced to second on a Cody Ransom groundout, then ran home for a run when John Mayberry Jr hit a very exciting triple. And that was Bowden's only run.

Drew Carpenter started for Lehigh Valley. Carpenter was responsible for five Red Sox runs. Sidearmer Ehren Wassermann relieved him and surrendered the last run.

Pawtucket relievers included Randor Bierd, Dustin Richardson, Robert Manuel, and Alan Embree, who shut the door in the ninth.

Except Embree did not really get the job done. He managed to get hit machine Andy Tracy to strike out, but he subsequently walked the law offices of Ransom and Wise. Mayberry rolled up next, and you know all about his power. Mayberry was clutch and singled, scoring Ransom.

Embree then walked Hoover and Bocock, the bottom of the order. DeWayne Wise walked on home. BASES LOADED ONE OUT EMBREE NOT GETTING IT DONE.

Enter Fernando Cabrera. Next batter Chris Duffy sac flied Mayberry home, but Cabrera struck Maza out to end the game.

1. Aaron Bates hit a three-run homer.
2. Josh Reddick 0-5.
3. I left the game around inning six. It was cold and kind of the opposite of fun.

Tomorrow! Day game. You should go.


4.10.10 Red Sox, Red Wings (game 1)

Rochester does not win. 1-0 final after seven innings.

Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched well. Well, he should.

Rochester starter Jeff Manship gave up the solitary run when Aaron Bates batted Kevin Frandsen home in the second. It was Mister Bates' first RBI.

small things:
1. Jacque Jones is hot so far, going 2-3 with a double.
2. Josh Reddick is still searching for his first hit. All the fans are really worried about this. Looks like his career may in fact be over. What happened to the prospect who did so much in the low minors? Reddick is a shell of himself. And the front office is whispering about possible trades.
3. Matsuzaka hit Brian Dinkelman and Brock Peterson. With a mace. Or a breaking ball, whatever.

Game 2 later on.

4.8.10 Pawtucket Red Sox v Rochester Red Wings - I don't think I am ready for this.

Red Sox WIN! 11-3

I didn't 'work' this game, as it turned into a social event. Fine by me. It was great to see everybody! PARTY IN SECTION 2!!! So my impressions of the game are not crystal clear.

Boof 'Bronson', as my sainted mother refers to him, got the start for the Red Sox. Bonser pitched 4 1/3 innings, which is EXACTLY what I predicted. And you can even look it up. Johnny B gave up three runs on six hits and two walks. And you can credit him with four K's. (PS: I also accurately predicted Bonser's runs and walks.)

Opposing pitcher and lover of 'yak Anthony Swarzak took the loss.

Tug Hulett and Darnell McDonald were excited about opening day and were offensively notable. That is, they were both triples shy of the cycle. Hitting a triple is as difficult to acheive as getting Yahtzee!

Everybody had something to say about opening day. I am going to keep my remarks brief.

brief remarks:
1. McCoy PA guy Jim Martin referred to Fabio Castro as 'Castro Fabio' during the player introductions. Geronimo Gil and D'Angelo Jiminez understand this sort of thing.
2. Having Darnell McDonald in Pawtucket is a dream come true for me. It must have been strange for him to play against his old team. He is my favorite.
3. Former Twins baldy Jacque Jones hot a solo home run. I got pretty close to JJ one spring training. Not the way you're thinking. What I mean is, I jumped on top of him at a gas station.
4. Swarzak had a tough time last year. He's looking forward to working with his new manager.
5. OH HELL YES: Another Rochester Red Wings blog! Rochester has the best coverage in the IL. I wish the other teams would pick it up.
6. More good stuff from Wings Things: "I pointed out yesterday that an amazing 19 of 24 players on the Wings Opening Day roster were originally drafted and signed by Minnesota. To take that point a step further, of the 13 players who saw action for the Wings last night, all but Jacque Jones have spent their ENTIRE CAREER in the Twins system. That just doesn't happen in Triple-A in this era."
7. Superstar (that I am already tired of hearing about) Josh Reddick did not get a hit.
8. Good work, Gabe Paley!
9. Human burrito Chad Paronto pitched two scoreless innings. Righty Joe Nelson got the in relief.
10. The PawSox official website is fucking garbage.

I was going to go to the game today, but it seems cold and I hate going on crowded weekends. Especially when there's a megastar in town.

Two new PawSox blogs.

First, this one, which I don't even know if it's a blog. It doesn't seem to have a title. It looks like Rebecca Berta is cranking it out. Berta works for the PawSox, I'm pretty sure. It contains photos and video and other ballpark information. Very informative, in a PR kinda way.

Secondly, there's 'Sox on Cox'. 'Sox on Cox' contains free video content. Hot, wet, naked video content! 'Sox on Cox' is all alone and waiting for you.

I guarantee neither one will link back to me. But I'm happy to see some Pawtucket action on the internet.

Well, I got one right.


How can we lose when we're so sincere?

Go here and watch the heartbreaking Brandon Moss video. He is so earnest. It's hard to watch, too, knowing what lies ahead for him.

When you see Moss in Pawtucket (April 28th!), give him a man-hug. He needs it.

Tomorrow's Rochester lineup.

I cannot express how much I love Rochester's Jim Mandelaro. He is my favorite IL blogger/journalist.

CF Matt Tolbert
SS Trevor Plouffe
2B Luke Hughes
C Wilson Ramos
DH Erik Lis
1B Brock Peterson
LF Jacque Jones
3B Danny Valencia
RF Brian Dinkelman

SP Anthony Swarzak

Since I'm unable to find a lineup for Pawtucket, I humbly submit my own:

CF Josh Reddick
RF Darnell McDonald
DH Tug Hulett
LF Daniel Nava
C Dusty Brown
1B Aaron Bates
2B Kevin Frandsen
3B Jorge Jimenez
SS Angle Sanchez

ANGEL! ANGEL!! NOT 'ANGLE'! I made this fucking typo all last year with Angel Chavez. I'm better than this!

Boof Bonser is starting, Bowden is in the middle, Alan will get some work in as well. I retract my Bonser chagrin from yesterday - he was on the Twins, so he's cool.


Jose Vaquedano is a free agent.

Please enjoy this brief video featuring Jose Vaquedano and Sandy Madera. Geez, even I speak better Spanish than Vaquedano.

Fabio Castro and Ivan Ochoa are pretty much the same guy.

This thing happened at lunch today which was exciting: Alan Embree sat at our table for a few minutes. (photo credit: Vanessa) I should have said something, but instead I just laughed a lot. He was all, "Hi, I'm Alan" in that irritating way that wicked famous people use a lot. (Hi, nice to meet you! I'm Liza.) ("How you doin'? I'm Keifer.") Embree was very nice, though.

Steve Hyder, who is the King of Pawtucket as far as I am concerned, introduced the players. When he called out lefty Fabio Castro's name, Castro stood on his chair. Because he is little! He's a pocket reliever! Castro has stolen my heart right out of the gate.

In a related story, Josh Reddick looked like a complete tool. He is really trying too hard. What an athlete!

Tommy Harper was a great guest, so that was good. And the drug is going non-prescription, which is good.



2010 Pawtucket Red Sox roster (+Bubba Bell)

I can't do it any better than this, you guys. Another Angel in the infield, too. And Carolyn... and Carolyn... and Carolyn.

These kids had a few problems in Pawtucket last year:

Bubba Bell
Aaron Bates
Kris Johnson (A lot of people disagree with me. They're like, hey, just look at the numbers and this advanced formula! To that I say formulas are for babies and besides, like you've ever been to Rhode Island in your life.)

Also returning: LHP Dustin Richardson (awesome), Randor Bierd (excellent), C Mark Wagner (looks like Bert from Sesame Street), Bowden, and Fernando Cabrera. And Devern Hansack, if you can believe it.

And then there's Maude: Ryan Khoury.

The Pawtucket opening day pitcher is Boof Bonser. WHY NOT JUST SHANK ME WHILE YOU'RE AT IT? It's like winning a yacht made out of burritos and silver dollars, but you have to listen to Maroon 5 on an endless loop while you're out deep sea fishing.

Bonser will pitch 4 1/3 innings with 3 runs, 5 hits, 2 walks and a strikeout. I used an advanced formula to figure that out. Wait, I take that back. I don't want to be one of those jerks who scoffs at statistics... I think they're great. The truth is, they're way too advanced for someone like me. I can admit that. I'M TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND MOST BASEBALL METRICS AND MY BRAIN IS TOO LIMITED TO EVER GRASP THEIR RELEVANCE. ME LIKE STRIKEOUTS AND BEER AND TRIPLES. I tip my cap to the message board kidz and their charts and graphs. Maybe one day their spirit will enter me and I will become Allular.

Daniel Nava will bat third. Leadoff hitter will be Darnell McDonald. Dusty Brown will bat 6th. It may rain. I'm so excited.

See you tomorrow, I guess.


Drive Caffle

Although Jeff Bailey had a monster spring, they still gave him the business and sent him to triple-A Reno. WHAT.

I used to live in Reno, but I don't think they had a baseball team back then. And now I really want to go, even though all my friends are gone at this point. Come on. This was when 'Valotte' was a smash hit. AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

Also, former PawSox jerk Jeff Corsaletti has been released by the Pirates. Not because he's a douchebag, but because he can't do anything right. Except walk... he did get his fair share of those.

Later, JC! Escribeme pronto!


It's lose-win!

Quickly: righty reliever Fernando Cabrera was finally sent to minor league camp the other day. I only mention this because Cabrera is the best looking guy in PawSox history. I must figure out a way to sit near his table at the welcome back luncheon.

Luncheon is a weird word.


roly poly baby

Carlos Maldonado update: Carlos Maldonado's on the Syracuse Chiefs. I may have mentioned this already.

Please enjoy this video of Maldonado going after former PawSox reliever/starter/failed catcher Edgar Martinez (2007-2008) during winter ball. I have never seen two more unlikely brawl partners. Martinez looks totally helpless. You will laugh, I swear. Especially since both guys seemed so mild-mannered and pleasant during their stays in Pawtucket.

In a wildly unrelated story, the Durham Bulls are kicking their season off today, including their ring ceremony. You can even watch it on the internet! What a time we live in!

The Durham Bulls come to Pawtucket once a year and I would not miss it if I were you. July 31st til August 3rd, which is a million miles away.


Jeff Natale

Jeff Natale has been released. I always thought he was so uninteresting.

So why do I feel kind of bad about it?

I should have seen it coming but I didn't. Remember when he batted second after Jed Lowrie and then it was the mighty Jeff Bailey batting third? Jeff, Jed, and Jeff?

No, that never happened. It was Jeff, Joe, and Jed in 2008. Bailey, Super Joe Thurston, and Lowrie.

This is the point in the post where most people would say, "Good luck! We will miss you!". I cannot do that because I hate saying nice things about PawSox players. God damn it.

Can we keep this between us? I'd hate to lose my pitching job.

Do you remember Mike Burns? Of course you don't! Burns pitched over 100 slop innings at McCoy back in 2007. The only two pitchers that got more work in were Devern Hansack and David Pauley.

Burns was just released by Milwaukee.

Do you remember Julio Lugo? I don't want to refresh the pain or anything, but Lugo's been acquired by Baltimore. So we could be seeing a lot more of him. Lugo came to McCoy last year for a little rehabilitation. I know this kid who has one of his bats so I brought her to the park to see if Lugo would sign it. It didn't happen. Sean Danielson offered to go get him, but... anyway, the kid still has the unsigned bat.

If Julio Lugosi winds up on the Tides, she could get it done in 2010. Heh, I said 'if'.

2010 PawSox Promotional Calendar (upated)

Friday April 23rd - Zoomobile!

Sunday April 25th - Star Wars Day

Friday May 14th - Zoomobile again!

Saturday June 12th - Stadium Climb for people who have conquered lung problems and the people who support them. Evidently they run up and down the Stadium stairs, even though 'Stadium Climb' sounds like it should involve rappelling wires and helmets.

Tuesday June 15th - Legends Night featuring Alejandro Machado and Ken Huckaby. Special guest: Dustan Mohr!

Sunday August 8th - Ladies T-shirt Night! I'm sure that meas it will be a regular t-shirt, except it's pink! I hope it matches my sparkle barrettes and tacky logo status purse!

Monday August 30th - Piggybank night! First 3000 fans 14 and under. Dude. I WANT THAT PIGGYBANK.

I've omitted fireworks nights, egregious sponsor giveaway nights, and other stuff I thought was boring.