6.29.10 Scranton Wilkes-Boring is Back.

7-1 Pawtucket! Adam Mills? Yes.

I feel like we just saw this Redding/Mills matchup a week ago. Except Mills was much better last night. Seven one-run innings is a good start. And Robert Manuel and Kason Gabbard split the last pair of innings and provided scoreless relief for the PawSox.

Aging righty Tim Redding got the start for the Yankees. Redding kept Pawtucket to two runs until the sixth inning, when Aaron Bates led the inning off with a single. Designated hitter Ryan Kalish hit another single with one out in the inning, allowing mega-star Tug Hulett to hit a two-run double. 4-0 Pawtucket!

Scranton scored their first run in the top of the seventh inning when Rene Rivera hit an RBI single. PJ Pilittere also tried to cross the plate on Rivera's hit, but he was thrown out at home by the ordinarily useless Josh Reddick. Good work, Reddick. This pissed off Yankees manager Dave Miley enough to get him ejected while he was arguing the tag at home plate.

And then the Lord Jesus Christ finally tore himself away from the Astros game and said, "Mark Melancon... tonight is not going to be your night. Learn from your suffering." Melancon's first order of the night was to strike out Velazquez. Okay, easy enough. But then he walked Jimenez. And Niuman Romero. And hit Aaron Bates with a pitch. I'll bet Melancon thought he had an easy out when Lars Anderson came to the plate... not so, amigo! Anderson could have walked, I guess, but instead he doubled, scoring Niuman and Jorge. (They said I could call them that.)

Ryan Kalish added a third run to the inning when he hit a ground ball and reached on a fielder's choice. "Fielder's Choice" sounds like something you might call one of those cheap condom brands you buy at dirty convenience stores. You know... the ones that sell incense and roses in glass tubes.

Anyway, Bates scores on the Kalish deal and it's 7-1 Pawtucket. And that was it.

two things:
1. Lars Anderson hit two doubles last night. Tug Hulett walked three times. On my ceiling.
2. Pawtucket could really have piled on the runs, but... you know. They left 11 guys on base. Ryan Shealy should have been in the lineup. Then you would have seen a motherfucking PASTING!!!!
3. Well, so much for my PawSox game live blog idea... these assholes got the jump on me.
4. Damn it! Well, that has sufficiently ruined my morning. Oh, well.
5. Gustavo Molina's been called up. I love how no one confirmed anything for like a week. I'll bet Dusty brown is super pissed off!

Tonight! Doubront v Romulo Sanchez. See you there... YES.


6.28.10 Pawtucket @ Syrcause - As long as we can make it to the game tonight...

Pawtucket goes DOWN, 9-4. Ramon Ramirez did not start as planned. It was Robert Coello.

Coello didn't have his usual zing. He only pitched 3 2/3 innings and gave up six runs. Only three were earned, since Gil Velazquez made a fielding error in the fourth that put runners on the corners. Gil Velazquez... okay, never mind.

Wait, I wanna discuss the fourth inning. Pawtucket was down 3-0. Starter Shairon Martis was doing his thing. Jorge Jimenez led the inning off and reached first on an outfield error. And then right fielder (?) Niuman Romero hit an RBI double to make the score 3-1.

Ryan Shealy batted next and surprisingly, flew out. Lars Anderson followed that first out with a walk and Aaron Bates hit a three-run homer. So that was good. Yay Aaron Bates and such. 4-3 Red Sox.

But try not to get too excited, even though someone as fascinating and intellectual as Aaron Bates may do that to a person. Syracuse had no intention of being beaten by the sluggardly PawSox. With a runner on first, outfielder Boomer Whiting got on base when Velazquez mishandled a ground ball. Second baseman Chase Lambin then hit an RBI double to tie the game. Chase Lambin is a doubles machine, much like Brandon Moss was back in 2007. Lambin is third in the league with 23 doubles.

But enough about Cold Lambin. Mrs Jason Botts batted next and hit a two-run single. 6-4 Syracuse! End of the night for Coello! Paronto replaced RC and got the final out.

Paronto went on to pitch another two innings, giving up the seventh run. Robert Manuel uncharacteristically did not pitch a scoreless inning, instead opting to help the Chiefs score another pair of runs.

Kason Gabbard pitched the final inning without further incident. Pawtucket had no chance versus the likes of relievers Garate, Bergmann, and Wilkie and could not add to their run total. Syracuse takes 3 out of 4.

last night in syracuse put me in a haze:
1. I like Gil Velazquez and I'm not happy about witnessing his decline. Yes, I know he's coming off an injury, but even before he was injured, he had a few problems. That's how it goes in O.B., I guess.
2. Lars Anderson and Niuman Romero each doubled. I don't know how much time Romero has spent in the outfield, but since he started off his PawSox career as a second baseman-type, I can't help but think he looks weird out there. Except not quite as weird as Javier Lopez looked in 2009. Poor guy.
3. The Chiefs hit five doubles last night! Lambin, Whiting, Maxwell, Duncan, and Burke. Jason Botts hit a home run in the third inning off Coello.
4. "We all talk to each other. It is the best clubhouse I have ever been a part of in Triple-A." - Chase Lambin on being a Chief.
5. Chase Lambin also got a farewell party when he left his hometown for Nats camp. Please enjoy his Chiba Lotte Marines song and his accompanying awkward dance!
6. Chase Lambin is cute and I would probably set you guys up, but he has a girlfriend/wife.
7. PawSox starter Robert Coello hit Justin Maxwell and Jason Burke with pitches.

And this is completely unrelated to anything, but are you from Worcester? How in the hell do you explain this? And how have I never heard of it until today? Looks like it's time to attend a Worcester Tornadoes baseball game!

Tonight! PawSox return to McCoy! Tim Redding and Adam Mills again? How can a girl be so lucky!?



My Spanish game summary translated back into English.

Pawtucket 8-1 OFFENSE YEAH!

Before starting, I just want to point out that guys like David Pauley even were able to string a few good starts at the minor league.

Right son Michael Bowden to Pawtucket and started talking to everybody "in it, although it does not hear a word they're saying. Bowden pitched six innings and allowed one run and four hits. And three walks. Bowden walks a lot of hitters. Bowden walks more hitters Kris Johnson. Bowden has walked batters per inning 2.693 gable. I did the math. Bowden has issued more than anyone walking on the PawSox and is 15th in the league walks.

Colin Balester did not start the game, although I considered it so they are. I do not feel like shit changed. It's bad enough that misspelled Balester. Jason Jones started and was a disaster. Who cares about Jason Jones? Jones only worked two innings (entered in the third, but could not get out) and was hung with the loss after the Red Sox stuck with six runs. Ha ha.

Therefore, I want to talk about the offense? Absolutely! (I will Fernando Cabrera save for last.) Ryan continues to make me mourn tears of gratitude for his greatness as a bat. Shealy went 3-4 with a homer and a double and only needs a triple for the cycle. It might have been able to get one, if Colin Balester had not linked the good in the fourth inning. I surfers were non-violent drug addicts? Right? Does being an athlete Meathead remove it? COLIN?!

Pawtucket dizzying tug began early, when Shealy hit his two-run double. Launch of the second, Juan Apodaca hit an RBI double. But it was the third inning when they scored five runs Pawtucket ... Shealy's two-run homer and a three-run blast by Josh Reddick. Yes, Josh Reddick. Do not bury him because he is not dead yet.

The PawSox have evidently got lucky, because not score any runs for the rest of the game. Syracuse is the first in their division for a reason. It was time arrived exciting.

Relievers Tommy Hottovy (two entries) and Fernando Cabrera kept the rest of the game scoreless. Cabrera had a 1-2-3 ninth with two strikeouts. Eleven pitches, eight of them were strikes. Oh, hell. View a performance like that would be like watching porn for me.

Oh, go, Where do I start?
1. Gil Velázquez hit leadoff! Wow!
2. Pitching coach Rich Sauveur was ejected from the game. I guess it had something to do with Bowden resist the call. Balks are so controversial.
3. Welcome to Rhode Island, Juan Apodaca! Hope you like the states with inferiority complexes!
4. Jason Jones Heads starter had just been promoted from Double-A Harrisburg. Better luck next time, kid.
5. I just found out that David Pauley has been recalled by Seattle. COINCIDENCE?

Tonight! Syracuse! Shairon Martis! Ramon Ramirez Icky! After going home tomorrow ... I can not wait.


My last game summary translated into Spanish.

8-1 Pawtucket OFENSA YEAH!

Antes de comenzar, sólo quiero señalar que los tipos como David Pauley siquiera eran capaces de encadenar una buenas salidas pocas a nivel de ligas menores.

Diestro hijo Michael Bowden comenzó a Pawtucket y hablando de todo el mundo "en él, a pesar de que no se oye una palabra de lo que estás diciendo. Bowden lanzó seis entradas y permitió una carrera y cuatro hits. Y tres bases por bolas. Bowden camina un montón de bateadores. Bowden camina más bateadores de Kris Johnson. Bowden ha caminado 2,693 bateadores por entrada a dos aguas. Hice la matemática. Bowden ha emitido más de lo que nadie camina sobre el PawSox y está 15 º en la liga por bases por bolas.

Colin Balester no comenzó el juego, aunque yo lo consideraba así son. No me siento como mierda cambiarlo. Ya es bastante malo que escribe mal Balester. Jason Jones comenzó y fue un desastre. ¿Quién se preocupa por Jason Jones? Jones sólo trabajó dos entradas y un tercio (entró en el tercero, pero no pudo obtener un cabo), y fue colgado con la pérdida después de los Medias Rojas lo clavó con seis carreras. Ja, ja.

Por lo tanto, quiero hablar de la ofensa? Claro que sí! (Voy a salvar a Fernando Cabrera para el final.) Ryan sigue me hacen llorar lágrimas de gratitud por su grandeza de murciélago. Shealy se fue 3-4 con un jonrón y un doble y sólo necesita un triple para el ciclo. Tal vez habría podido conseguir una, si Colin Balester no lo había vinculado el bien en el cuarto inning. Pensé surfistas fueron drogadictos no violentos? ¿No? ¿Ser un atleta Meathead cancelar eso? COLIN?!

Pawtucket de vértigo remolcador comenzó temprano, cuando Shealy conectó su doble de dos carreras. Inicio de la segunda, Juan Apodaca pegó un doble productor. Pero fue la tercera entrada cuando anotaron cinco carreras Pawtucket ... jonrón de dos carreras Shealy y la onda expansiva de tres carreras de Josh Reddick. Sí, Josh Reddick. No enterrarlo porque él no está muerto todavía.

El PawSox evidentemente, tienen suerte, porque no anotó ningún corre para el resto del juego. Siracusa es el primero en su división por una razón. Ya era hora llegaron emocionante.

Calmantes Tommy Hottovy (dos entradas) y Fernando Cabrera mantuvo el resto del juego sin anotación. Cabrera tuvo una novena entrada de 1-2-3 con dos ponches. Once lanzamientos, ocho de ellos fueron strikes. Oh, el infierno. Ver una actuación así no sería como ver porno para mi.

oh, vaya, ¿Por dónde empiezo?
1. Gil Velázquez bateó primer bate!
2. El coach de pitcheo ricos Sauveur fue expulsado de este juego. Supongo que tenía algo que ver con la convocatoria se resisten Bowden. Se Planta son tan controvertido.
3. Bienvenido a Rhode Island, Juan Apodaca! Espero que te gusten los estados con complejos de inferioridad!
4. Jefes de arranque Jason Jones acababa de ser promovido de doble A de Harrisburg. Mejor suerte la próxima vez, muchacho.
5. Me acabo de enterar de que David Pauley ha sido convocado por Seattle. COINCIDENCIA?

¡Esta noche! Syracuse! Shairon Martis! Icky Ramón Ramírez! Luego a casa mañana ... No puedo esperar.


6.27.10 Syracuties make sad faces.

8-1 Pawtucket YEAH OFFENSE!!

Before I begin, I just want to point out that even guys like David Pauley were capable of stringing together a few good starts at the minor league level.

Right-handed youngster Michael Bowden started for Pawtucket and everybody's talkin' at him, even though he don't hear a word they're sayin'. Bowden pitched six innings and gave up a run on four hits. And three walks. Bowden walks a lot of batters. Bowden walks more batters than Kris Johnson. Bowden has walked 2.693 batters per inning pitched. I did the math. Bowden has issued more walks than anyone on the PawSox and is 15th in the league for bases on balls.

Colin Balester did not start this game, even though I listed him thusly. I don't fucking feel like changing it. Bad enough I spelled 'Balester' wrong. Jason Jones started and was a disaster. Who cares about Jason Jones? Jones only worked two innings (he entered the third, but could not get an out) and was hung with the loss after the Red Sox nailed him with six runs. Ha, ha. Ha.

So, wanna talk about the offense? I sure do! (I'll save Fernando Cabrera for last.) Ryan Shealy continues to make me weep tears of gratitude for his bigness of bat. Shealy went 3-4 with a home run and a double and only need a triple for the cycle. Maybe he could have gotten one, if Colin Balester hadn't pegged him good in the fourth inning. I thought surfers were non-violent stoners? No? Does being a meathead jock cancel that out? COLIN?!

Pawtucket's giddy run-scoring started early, when Shealy hit his two-run double. Top of the second, Juan Apodaca hit an RBI double. But it was the third inning when Pawtucket scored five runs... Shealy's two-run homer and Josh Reddick's three-run blast. Yes, Josh Reddick. Don't bury him cause he's not dead yet.

The PawSox evidently got lucky, because they didn't score any runs for the rest of the game. Syracuse is first in their division for a reason. It's about time they got exciting.

Relievers Tommy Hottovy (two innings) and Fernando Cabrera kept the remainder of the game scoreless. Cabrera had a 1-2-3 ninth inning with two strikeouts. Eleven pitches, eight of them for strikes. Oh, hell. Watching a performance like that would be like watching porn for me.

oh, geez, where do i start?
1. Gil Velazquez batted leadoff! Wow!
2. Pitching coach Rich Sauveur was ejected from this game. I presume it had something to do with Bowden's balk call. Balks are so controversial.
3. Welcome to Rhode Island, Juan Apodaca! Hope you like states with inferiority complexes!
4. Chiefs starter Jason Jones had just been promoted from double-A Harrisburg. Better luck next time, kid.
5. I just found out that David Pauley has been called up by Seattle. COINCIDENCE?

Tonight! Syracuse! Shairon Martis! Icky Ramon Ramirez! Then home tomorrow... I can't wait.



6.26.10 Pawtucket Red Sox (BOS) @ Syracuse Chiefs (WAS)

Syracuse WINS! 6-1. Ha. Ha. Ha.

If lefty-lefty matchups induce turgidness in your crotchal region, then this was the game for you. I don't know too much about Matt Chico (sounds like a tough guy from a B/W Western), but he seems popular? I'll tell you a whole bunch more about Chico... later on.

Matt Chico pitched 5 2/3 innings, only giving up one run on five hits. Chico walked three batters and struck out four. His Rhode Island opponent, Felix Doubront, worked five innings... god, this is boring. Doubront balked and hit two batters, is that exciting?

Gabbard, Large, and Hottovy all got a piece after Doubront finished for the night. Gabbard gave up a home run. I think Gabbard was Jeff Bailey's roomie one summer. One word: Copious.

let me do this first:
1. Batting coach Gerald Perry was ejected.
2. Bubba Bell has finally been moved up in the lineup! Bell batted second and went 2-3. I never really liked Bell until he started heating up. This is because I am the worst type of bandwagon fan.
3. Kevin Mench is still alive?
4. Tommy Hottovy! Hottovy entered the game at the bottom of the seventh with the bases loaded and one out. TH induced a double play and went on to pitch a scoreless, hitless eighth. He then flipped off TJ large.

and now let's talk about Matt Chico:
1. Chico had Tommy John surgery in 2008.
2. MC was called up to the Nationals this year and then DFA'd. Was that weird? Maybe... here's an explanation.
3. Chico feels he has completely recovered from surgery.
4. Chico could return to Washington.
5. Check out Chico's new pitch: Two-seam fastball. Sorry if that sounds like there's video... there isn't.

Damn, I have to wrap this up. I'm taking the day off tomorrow! I was invited to a NASCAR race (not a NASCAR "game", as I keep calling it). Never been to one and I am wild with anticipation.

I love you!


Pardon me boy, is this the Lackawanna Station?

5-1 Scranton Wilkes-Barre.

Adam Mills started and gave up five runs on nine hits in 6 1/3 innings. Mills' record falls to 1-6.

The Yankees countered with Rochester native Tim Redding. Redding pitched 6 2/3 innings, allowed seven hits but only one Pawtucket run. Reliever Zack Segovia finished the game off and kept the PawSox bats hitless.

Pawtuckets sole run came in the third inning, when newcomer Alex Hassan hit a deep fly to center, allowing Velazquez to score from third.

Gil Velazquez went 3-3 last night, hitting singles in the third, fourth, and seventh inning. No one on the team could muster an extra base hit.

Last night's Red sox relief corps consisted of Chad Paronto and Kason Gabbard. Neither pitcher allowed a run during their combined 1 2/3 innings of work.

Pawtucket's record falls to 33-40.

we had too much time to find for ourselves:
1. Imagine if I wrote like that all the time? I might as well be dead.
2. Niuman Romero was removed from the leadoff spot. Alex Hassan stepped in and played right field. Romero batted third and returned to his comfy old spot at second base.
3. Lars Anderson got a couple of hits. Bubba Bell also had a pair of singles. Aside from those guys and Gil Velazquez, everyone else was hitless.
4. SWB starter Tim Redding thought the baseballs were too slick in the third inning. I wish I could find a way to blame David Uyl for this, but the home plate umpire was Stephan Barga.
5. SWB infielder Reegie Corona hit a two-run double. You don't run into too many 'Reegie's.
6. You know what's awesome, though? Juan Miranda on the DL. Miranda always destroys Pawtucket pitching.
7. Everything's coming up Millhouse! "Bubba Bell, who is having a heck of a series at the plate, just made one of the best plays I’ve seen an outfielder make all season." - Donnie Collins, of course. I want video proof of this.
8. Could Bubba Bell get called up?
9. I had a religious experience last night. Jesus Christ came to me in a dream. He was wearing catching gear. Except it was Dusty Brown. He was right when he said you can't always get what you want.
10. I think I am kind of starting to like this team.

Tonight! Syracuse! Felix Doubront (Brothers). Don't you feel it coming day by day?



6.23.10 Just one more Yankees game left in the series.

And that's tonight. 7-6 Pawtucket, TJ Large wins and Kei Igawa loses. The starting pitchers did not figure into the decision. In a related story, I can't believe Igawa is still hanging out in Pennsylvania.

Romero Ramone gave up six runs, but only three of them were earned. Blame Gil Velazquez and his two errors. Velazquez couldn't seem to do anything right last night... he also was caught stealing.

Yankees starter Dustin Moseley's start was not much better. Moseley's six runs were all earned and he gave up two home runs. Hmm... Romano Ruiz only gave up one home run. Moseley's start was worse!

But enough about those guys! The story's in the run production. Pawtucket struck first in the second inning when Anderson hit a solo home run. SWB topped that shit in the bottom half of the inning with a two-run homer by Rene Rivera, and tacked on a third run in the bottom of the third.

The Red Sox were undaunted. In the fourth inning, with runners on first and second, Lars Anderson got his second hit of the night - an RBI double. Aaron Bates' ensuing groundout allowed Shealy to score from third. Gustavo Molina... yes... batted next and BLAMMO! hit his third home run of the season. Two more runs! 5-3 Pawtucket!

Fifth inning, white hot Bubba Bell leads off with a double and Jorge Jimenez eventually drives him in. In the home half, Scranton scored three runs to tie the game up at 6-6. Smug bastard Reid Gorecki figured prominently.

In the seventh inning, the PawSox hit a few singles and Bell wound up scoring. Use your imagination, but credit Niuman with the RBI. 7-6 Pawtucket and that was the final score, thanks to Robert Manuel and Fernando Cabrera being sexy things, taking pictures and carving them into wood reliefs...

Some guy Wordekemper made an appearance for SWB. I loved him on Hogan's Heroes!

two things:
1. Manuel's tiny itty-bitty ERA now stands at .95. Shame he didn't get to pitch with the big kids, but I am confident that he'll return when Atchison or Richardson come down. Or if one of them meets with an unfortunate accident.
2. Rajon Rondo hit Pilittere with a pitch, which he totally had coming after wrecking Dusty Brown the other night. Eff you, PJ!
3. Gustavo Molina and his three home runs = 2004 Doug Mirabelli.
4. Looks like Lars finally got laid - he went 3-4 with that home run and double.
5. Tug Hulett went 0-5 with a strikeout. Bates was 0-4 with a K, but he at least got an RBI.
6. Niuman Romero's been playing left field these past few games. Not metaphorically.
7. Don't feel too bad, Gil: Jimenez and Romero were also caught stealing.
8. This blog (Ghost of Moonlight Graham) has read my mind: Let's strip-mine the Cleveland Indians!
9. I have no idea what a 'frelen' is, but if you've always wanted to see Lars Anderson's knees, take a look.
10. The Yankees are second place in the IL North division. Syracuse is number one! I'm excited. I mean, in the abstract.
11. Okay, it's official: I LOVE the Donnie Collins SWB live blog. I have gotta try this some night when I have nothing better to do. Because I am unoriginal.

Tonight! Adam Mills, Tim Redding. Oh, damn, I can't believe I am missing this. Hot! Merging! Action!



What the hell, Bubba Bell?

Bubba Bell's steady offensive output lately is confounding and I suppose proves yet again how little I know about anything. I totally thought he'd be released by this point!

Bell's also lucky that the Boston outfield's a triage unit. But good job, regardless. Bell is batting .419 over the last ten games, 1.245 OPS, etc.

3-1 Red Sox last night. While it's truly unimportant to anyone in the big league office who wins these things, I say HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU YANKEES!!!

Scandalous righty Ramon A Ramirez was supposed to start last night, but instead we got Coello. Coello struck out ten Scrankees, which I wish I could have seen. He was doin' alright in the sixth after he quickly got two outs, but Tommy Hottovy tapped in to finish it. Hottovy immediately gave up a double to Jorge vazquez, who'd solo homered earlier that night in the second inning, but he got exciting catcher Jesus Montero to ground out to end the inning.

Chad Paronto got four subsequent outs and gave up only one hit, good to see from a reliever who has had his ups and downs this season. Fernando Cabrera pitched the ninth and got his ninth save of the year, which I also wish I could have seen. Fly out, fly out, pop out, end. Cabrera then tore his jersey off in futbol solidarity. Probably.

Pawtucket's three runs came in individual succession in innings two, three, and four. Like a little fence of ones! In the second inning, Dusty Brown doubled to score Aaron Bates from second. In the third inning, Anderson sac flied to score Angel Sanchez, who'd doubled and advanced to third on a Ryan Shealy single.

Fourth inning: Bubba Bell cranked one out to right. Then he supersoaked that ho.

Zach McAllister got the loss for Scranton Wilkes-Barre. McAllister pitched seven innings and had five hits and two walks to show for it. And the three runs, of course.

could my eyelids cover what i did:
1. Mark Melancon pitched the last pair of innings for the Yankees.
2. SWB manager Dave Miley was super pissed off after the game.
3. Dusty Brown left the game with a thumb injury after the second inning. He tagged runner PJ Pilittere out at home... I think he got hurt during that play. I don't know, no one tells me anything. Go read the Providence paper, SQUARE.
4. Robert Coello has now slipped into something more comfortable: The Pawtucket starting rotation. And also, a satin kimono.
5. Can someone consider changing the name of the team to the Pennsylvania Yankees? I'm so tired of the whole "Scranton Wilkes-Barre" thing. It's a really unwieldy name for a baseball team and I hate typing it because I'm a lazy fatass.
6. I forgot to tell you that Tommy Hottovy's in Pawtucket now. And little baby Alex Hassan until we get some outfield help. Maybe we should keep Hassan? We could bring him to a tanning salon, just to get a base.
7. BALK! Robert Coello, second inning.
8. In case you care: The Yankees are dead last in the IL for home runs. Don't look so smug... Pawtucket's third to last.

Tonight! Ramon Ramirez will really for real start v Dustin Moseley. Til next time...


6.21.10 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees

Yankees WIN! 4-3. Jonathan Albaladejo gets the win in relief. Fabio Castro FAILED to hold SWB and got the loss.

Michael Bowden threw 100 pitches! Write that down! Bowden made it to the seventh inning but Reegie Corona singled and stole second with one out. Then right fielder Greg Golson hit a line drive single to center! Golson made it to second on the throw.

The dangerous Jeff Natale approached the plate to face Bowden with runners in scoring position and only one out. I'll bet the fans were breathless, seeing former teammates face off like mortal enemies! Natale sac flied and scored Corona.

Bowden got the hook after that so Castro could face smug outfielder Ried Gorecki. Gorecki popped out to second to end the inning. 2-0 Yankees.

Pawtucket did something neat, though, in the top of the eighth. Ryan Shealy, who I freaking love already, led the inning off with a double off reliever Zach Segovia. YEAH RS!! Lars Anderson followed that up with a groundout, moving Shealy over to third. How unsatisfying for Anderson. You think he cares about a runner-advancing groundout? NO!

Segovia then faced Aaron Bates, who drew a walk to put runners at the corners. Good night, Segovia. Albaladejo enters. And then what do you think Josh Reddick did? WRONG, Reddick did NOT strike out! Reddick flew out to center, allowing Ryan Shealy to score.

Dusty Brown kept things going with a walk. Bubba Bell batted next and singled, scoring Aaron Bates. I really thought Bell would be gone by this time. I guess 2009 was an off year..

With the score tied at 2-2, Niuman Romero came to the plate. Romero popped out to third. Damn you, Niuman!

The Yankees pulled ahead by one run in the bottom of the inning, but Pawtucket tied it again in the top of the ninth! Ryan Shealy doubled AGAIN, scoring Angel Sanchez from second. What Sanchez was doing at second base, we may never know! Sanchez was not even in the lineup. In fact, Sanchez was wearing a ballgown. I know!

Castro, still in the game, came in for the ninth and threw a wild pitch with Justin Christian on third. Christian scored, 4-3, game over. I hate cheesy wins like that, don't you?

can't you see what this crazy life is doing to me?
1. Albaladejo has been an effective closer for SWB. Last night was his first blown save since last August.
2. Angel Sanchez went 0-5 with three strikeouts. Sanchez batted third. I think he should bat leadoff or second, but that's just me.
3. Bubba Bell and Niuman Romero both went 3-4.
4. Justin Christian, the kid who scored on the Castro wild pitch, had just been called up from double-A. He was coaching first base at the beginning of the game, but came in as a defensive replacement.
5. Dig on Donnie Collins' live blog of last night's match. I would do that sometime if I thought anyone gave a shit.
6. Fuck it, I'll do it anyway.
7. Last night's starter for Scranton Wilkes-Barre was Ivan Nova.
8. Michael Bowden had seven strikeouts, only walked one batter, and did not give up any long balls. Too bad Fabio Castro ruined what could have been a good night.

Tonight! Creepy sleazeball Ramon Ramirez faces righty Zack McAllister. See you then.


Because you can't spell 'routine' without 'rut'.

Yesterday I went to a NASCAR race. My ears are still ringing.

I don't want to write about it like some Rolling Stone wannabe. I certainly don't want to be one of those assholes who sees it as an anthropological study. I didn't go because I wanted to make fun of people, or a culture, or a fan base. I went because my great great friend invited me and bought me a ticket and I thought it would be fun. And it was. I had a remarkable time.

The thing that surprised me the most is how enormous the racing facility is. It doesn't even look real. It's like, yeah, you know the Grand Canyon is big, blah blah blah, but then you see it in person and you can't even figure it out.

Billy once said that every stereotype you can throw at NASCAR is absolutely true. And he was right. Except I don't remember seeing any Confederate flags.

Anyway, number 28 won. Next time, I'm wearing earplugs.

6.20.10 The PawSox and the Clippers Get Wet

Yeah, baby! Game suspended due to t-storms, but 4-3 Clippers for now.

Do you really need to hear about Kris Johnson? I don't feel like Kris Johnson. Let's focus on young Carlos Carrasco. Carlos pitched five innings and gave up three runs, two of them solo HR's by Bell and Shealy.

Carrasco walked two and struck out two. He threw 73 pitches, 41 for strikes. Carlos is an Aries who loves food... and he likes dreams... and whispers... And I want to cut his skin off and wear it to my birthday.

TJ Large was working when the rains came. He should feel lucky, because he was stinking up the joint. Large walked four people in 2/3 of an inning! 31 pitches, 13 for strikes. Why is TJ Large still hanging around? Where do they find these people? Let's get some kids up!

You know who's NOT boring? Ryan Shealy! Brian MacPherson agrees with me!

hit pay dirt with goedert:
1. This game will be resumed July 23rd in Columbus at Huntington Park. Huntington Park is reportedly terrific. Maybe in 2011 that will be my super secret IL park destination. Even though I have already been to Columbus, it could bear repeating.
2. Jordan Brown was batting when the game got called. Jordan Brown was having a good day, too, going 2-3 with a double. I'M JORDAN BROWN!!!
3. Jordan Brown has been in the Cleveland org since 2005 and he has never played a major league game.
4. Kason Gabbard is back and I mean, thank god for that. Gabbard's gonna turn this mess around. Now we have the Unstoppable Dual Lefty Attack Force of Kris Johnson and... Kason Gabbard.
5. Columbus shortstop Josh Rodriguez hit a two-run homer off Johnson.
6. I should have just posted this Saturday game summary: "The PawSox had only 2 for a score by the eighth inning and the Clippers had 6; but all of a sudden the Pawsox caught up and passed them by one run." What more do you need to know?
7. Jordan Brown was the IL Batting Champ in 2009. How did I not know this? I guess since Garrett Jones has gone on to greater things, Jordan brown may be emerging as my favorite IL Repeat Offender.
8. "Carlos Carrasco, acquired as the centerpiece from Philadelphia in the Cliff Lee trade, should get another shot in the majors at some point this season and Jordan Brown should make his big league debut at some point this year." - an opinion of Bowling Green U's Craig Vanderkam.
9. Could Carrasco be called up to replace David Huff?

Tonight! The Scrankees! Bleagh. Michael Bowden and Ivan Nova throw it down in Pennsylvania. Moosup? No, Moosic. Gee, I hope their outfield's less of a soupy, fetid swamp!


6.19.10 Red Sox v Clippers - UYE

Red Sox win! WHAT. 7-6 PawSox and Fernando Cabrera is damn. DAMN!!!!!!

Aaron Laffey was starting lefty/enemy of Jeremy Sowers. Laffey walked, like, half the Pawtucket team, but it didn't matter because Daniel Nava is not walking through that door. 2008 Jeff Bailey is not walking through that door. Pawtucket only managed ONE RUN off Laffey, even with seven walks and five hits.

And Pawtucket starter Adam Mills didn't help with his eleven hits in 5 2/3, including two solo home runs. Why are all the PawSox starters so fucking boring? I wish I lived closer to Portland. Can't wait for Doubront to come back. WHY IS THERE NO ONE LIKE ARRIETA OR HELLICKSON HERE?!

It was 2-1 Columbus for a while and then in the sixth inning, Wes Hodges led off with a home run. Mills subsequently gave up consecutive singles to Goedert and Gimenez. Uh-oh! Cord Phelps sac bunts successfully, and here comes Jose Constanza.

And... RBI single for Constanza. But is Mills done yet? NO. First he had to get Brantley to line out. You'd think he could give a third out a shot, but Mills was up to 97 pitches so Chad Paronto jumped in the river. Brian Bixler then hit a two run single, bringing the score to 6-1.

Pawtucket down 6-1 in the sixth? Bad news. Not 2009-PawSox-Bad, but still pretty bad. Thank god for Jeremy Sowers and his wasted potential!

Sowers was bad, Pawtucket scored five runs, Fernando Cabrera got the save. Sorry, but this was taking forever today.


6.18.10 Pawtucket Red Sox v Columbus Clippers (CLE)

If you didn't know, the Columbus Clippers are the Indians triple-A team. Columbus takes game 2, 2-1.

Ramon Ramirez went from Strikeout King in his last start to a Barry Hertzler/Lincoln Holdzkom type. Yeah. When's the last time I mentioned those guys? Remember when Barry Hertzler had a bad outing in Toledo and had a fit and busted up a door in the clubhouse? And Toledo made him pay for it? HA. I love that story so much.

Ramirez pitched 4 1/3 innings of stunning mediocrity. His biggest mistake was giving up a two-run homer in the second inning to third baseman Jared Geoduck. Ramirez received some sweet long relief from Robert Coello, who put his hard hat on and pitched over three innings before lefty Fabio Castro came in to help out in the ninth. Coello had five K's and two walks... and only one hit. Everybody loves Coello.

Columbus starter Josh Tomlin got the win.

this is hard today:
1. Read Tony Lastoria's recap, because evidently I cannot do it properly this morning.
2. Pawtucket got its one run in the first inning. Geodert hit his home run in the second. No runs for the rest of the game. You'd think the game would have been under three hours, but it was OVER.
3. Lars Anderson was 0-4 with two strikeouts. Angel Sanchez doubled and that is the most massive offensive output the Red Sox had last night. Let's get Nava and McDonald back!
4. "Third baseman Jared Goedert came out of nowhere this year to earn a promotion from Akron to Columbus. He's batting .378 with six doubles, two homers, seven RBIs and a 1.261 OPS in nine games with the Clippers." - from 'CastroTurf' (Manny Acta's Favorite Indians Blog)
5. Clippers starter Josh Tomlin threw 103 pitches. I think a Pawtucket starter has broken 95 maybe once and I think it was Bowden's most recent start. This is an example of the futility of following a team whose focus is not to win, but to develop players. I could really get behind a triple-A team that plays to win, like Buffalo! I'd like to see some destruction of young arms at the expense of the big club!

Tonight! Adam Mills, Aaron Laffey. I am never gonna sleep, am I?


disrespectful to dirt

Have you been reading the Sox on Cox blog at all? Are you disappointed in its utter lack of hot man-on-man action? Do you feel the blog's name is somewhat misleading? Do the plentiful videos not show enough skin?

I suppose you could blame frequent poster 'Siddhartha Finch'. Oh, ha ha. How clever. At least I use my real initials. Except my middle initial. That would be too much.

I love how one post is called 'Sea Doggin' It'. I mean, really. What exactly does that entail? Should I leave the lights on?

Heh heh. Cox.

Bring your girlfriend to Pawtucket to see the PawSox fireworks!

These fireworks are HOTTTT and can be seen with the naked eye. They're also pretty HARD to light when they're WET. I'll bet Daniel Nava likes fireworks, too! And Brandon Moss was a noted fireworks lover!

July 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Fireworks. McCoy Stadium. Hit that if you like heat, big crowds, and have a high tolerance for people who never shut up.

But, seriously. These games sell out quickly. When I was a small girl, McCoy fireworks were the best. BEST. We never went to the games... we just parked in the general area and sat on the hood of the car. The traffic was always crazy. EVERYONE came.

Now they play songs I hate while they blast off. Like that one band I can't stand... you know, they sing songs like 'Here We Go' and 'Tonight's Gonna Be Fun'. I'm not saying their name. I could write one of their songs!

'Someone called me
and said we're gonna win tonight
because here we go
and we're gonna be on top
someone called me
and said here we go tonight
cuz together we can all party
and dance forever
someone called me
and said baby let's dance
because here we go tonight
start the party baby
take me in your arms
we are gonna win tonight!'

Voila! Grammy contender. Just add auto-tune.

6.17.10 Pawtucket Takes On the Columbus Clippers.

How's that for a boring title? This could be the best game they play all season. 1-0 Red Sox in an eleven inning game.

Randor Bierd rose out of the ocean like a Kraken and pitched five shutout innings. Everyone was glad to see that kind of performance from the freshly-healed Bierd.

TJ Large, Fernando Cabrera, and Robert Manuel each pitched a pair of innings. In that order. The Law Offices of Large and Cabrera allowed one hit and two walks apiece. Large struck out three, Cabrera four.

Robert Manuel's ERA is down to .98. Superstar. At some point he is going to get a cup of coffee with the big team and everyone will talk about how he came from out of nowhere and no one's heard of him and all of that. HOW HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED MANUEL'S REMARKABLE PAWTUCKET PERFORMANCE?! I mean, seriously. Read a book, you illiterate son of a bitch.

Anyway, Manuel got the win. Dusty Brown hit a walk-off RBI single in the eleventh. Manuel went ahead and pitched a twelfth inning just because he could. He struck out Reddick, Anderson, and Bell.

Columbus reliever Justin Germano took the loss. Cried like a baby, he did. Starter Yohan Pino gave up six hits in his six innings. Pino also had six strikeouts because he's Beelzebub.

1. Jordan Brown and Dusty Brown are two-thirds of a set of triplets. Fun fact: While Jordan's the one with all the freckles, Dusty has more chicken pox scars!
2. The Browns grew up in a musical household: "He's the DJ, I'm the rapper!", Jordan said with a laugh during a recent interview.
3. In a wacky coincidence, the third Brown triplet, Adrian, played for the PawSox back in 2003!
4. Tug Hulett is not exactly the pinch running type. And yet Hulett ran for new kid Ryan Shealy in the crucial eleventh inning. Shealy must be a real lard ass.
5. The Clippers did not allow a walk until the tenth inning. Vinnie Pestano broke the streak for Columbus. When the ump called ball four, Pestano shouted, "OHHH!"
6. Ryan Shealy comes from the unstoppable Durham Bulls. Dude, the Devil Rays are STACKED. Shealy is not at all fat, despite being referred to as a "lard ass" by certain media outlets.
7. Fernando Cabrera is an interesting pitcher. He's more effective v lefties. Last year, Cabrera was a slim killer. This year, he's a top-stepper. And yet, he seems more relaxed overall. He's more of a team player this year, wouldn't you say? What do you think he's doing right now? Is he Catholic? I wonder if he ever wears rosary beads. That would be so hot.
8. Dusty Brown struck out four times, but he got the game winning hit so that cancels everything out. Josh Reddick went 3-4 (!?!).
9. Looks like our old pal Jorge Jimenez has moved up in the batting order! What a great idea, Torey Lovullo!
10. TJ Large exists.

Tonight! Ramon Ramirez v Josh Tomlin. I might go. I'm kind of on the run from the law, so we'll see what happens.



6.15.10 Louisville Still

2-0 Red Sox. You are not going to believe this but Michael Bowden pitched 7 2/3 innings and got the shutout.

What you are more likely to believe is Manuel being Manuel. RM finished the game off and kept the Bats down. Manuel's only baserunner was catcher Wilkin Castillo, who singled in the eighth.

Lefty thugg Travis Wood got the loss for Louisville, even though he had ten damn strikeouts. Wood is a real redneck and you can hang those two Pawtucket runs on him, even though only one was earned. In the third inning, Wood loaded the bases with no one out after giving up two singles and a walk. Niuman Romero then grounded out to the pitcher, who threw Molina out at home. And yet Jorge Jimenez scored, thanks to Wilkin Castillo's throwing error. Looks like Castillo threw over to first to attempt to double off Romero. Uh, oops.

The seond run scored when Tug Hulett sac flied. It was pretty boring. Wait a minute... Hulett? Where'd he come from? I didn't even notice he hadn't played in a bit.

Good job, Michael Bowden. You proved me wrong. I'm sure you called up your moms and told her how you FACED me.

1. Wait... the Louisville error in the third was catcher Wilkin Castillo hitting Niuman Romero in the back as he chugged up the first base line. HA! How the hell do you do that? BUSH.
2. Tug Hulett struck out three times. Aaron Bates struck out twice and is evidently in a slump. He is 6 for 33 in his last ten games with a .182 BA. I know all of this off the top of my head.
3. Bowden did not walk anyone. And he always walks people.
4. Without love, where would you be now? This article talks about F. Doubront and confirms my suspicion that they call him "Doubie". It's killing me to link to it, but you should probably check it out. Damn it.
5. Bill Bray pitched when Wood was done. Bray suppressed the Red Sox bats and everyone's thrilled about it.
6. Please read and enjoy this RedLegs Baseball Blog scouting report on the remarkable Travis Wood. It's very good, even though I fucking hate the white on black thing. It wrecks my eyes.

Tonight! Wait... no tonight? WHAT. That's okay, I'm going to subject you to a slideshow of my trip to Louisville tomorrow. Figuratively speaking. Aroldis Chapman figures prominently.


We are here to help you, Jon Adkins.

6-5 Louisville, even though Pawtucket got 15 hits. FIFTEEN HITS. The Red Sox fall to 28-37.

Lars Anderson, Aaron Bates, Gil Velazquez, and Niuman Romero all left runners in scoring position with two outs. Dusty Brown and Angel Sanchez each grounded into double plays. Both Anderson and Brown were hitless last night. This is the kind of thing Boston fans call up radio stations over. BUMS.

What about Kris Johnson, though? Johnson eked out 5 1/3 innings, but he gave up seven hits and half the Louisville runs. Chad Paronto also couldn't hang and gave up the other three runs, completing the six-run set. Paronto takes these things a lot harder than you would think. I am not even kidding.

Fabio Castro and Fernando Cabrera polished off the rest of the game without further incident. Castro struck out three Bats in 2 1/3 innings. What an unlikely strikeout guy. I say that because Fabio Castro is little.

Louisville starter Matt Maloney is luckyish. Maloney pitched 5 1/3 innings, but Pawtucket totted up eleven hits. And that is seriously a number that jumps out at you from a pitching line.

Screw it. This game is too complicated for me to plumb any further.

Two things:
1. Niuman Romero went 4-5 with two doubles. Romero then told the other guys on the team that he wasn't mad... just disappointed.
2. Bubba Bell tripled. Lars Anderson was 0-5 with a K. And two RBI for Sanchez.
3. Okay, I think I see the problem with Chad Paronto last night: 19 pitches, 8 strikes.
4. You might as well read Brendan McGair's thing for the Pawtucket paper. It's pretty thorough. Almost... too thorough.
5. This article about McCoy Stadium made me angry. But it is pretty helpful if you are a Martian.
6. I didn't even notice that Chris Burke needed a double to complete the cycle. I might have mentioned it if it were my job or something, but I am doing this out of charity and the kindness of my heart.

I can't tell you how much I love it when Boston isn't playing and all the sportswriters come out of the woodwork to write about Pawtucket, like they've been there all along. Dude, the Boston newspapers don't even bother throwing up a fucking box score for Pawtucket. A BOX! How hard would that be? Instead we get the one-millionth article about Mike Lowell being a gentleman and David Ortiz's struggles and Dustin Pedroia Is Gritty and the asshole hillbilly starting pitcher who dissed his Pawtucket teammates.

Tonight! Michael Bowden and His Plummeting Stock v Travis Wood. Please keep me in your thoughts, especially your thoughts about how hard I work here.



Inside the Chiefs Blog (Syracuse)

I want to hug this blog's face off. I know they must be royally bummed that SS has gone away, but you wouldn't know it from their terrific blog.

I am going to read it every day. Even if I have food poisoning.

6.13.10 Red Sox v Louisville Bats - Chris Mess

Louisville WINS! 3-1. Pawtucket starter Adam Mills in wearing the L. On his sweater, like Laverne.

The Bats opted to throw lefty Ben Jukich on the mound to start last night. Jukich didn't pitch too long (4 1/3 innings) but his pitch count was up to 84 so that may have been a factor. I am going to look that up later.

The PawSox couldn't get a run off Jukich until the fifth inning, when catcher Gustavo Molina hit a solo home run. When is Mark Wagner coming back? Anyway, without that home run, Pawtucket would have been blanked. So Molina gets the biggest piece of cake in the clubhouse.

Then manager Rick Sweet threw in a mess o' catfish to pitch the rest of the game: Carlos Fisher, Joseph "Texas" Krebs, Jared Burton, Bill Bray, and Jon Adkins. Wow, those guys sound like some exciting hot prospects! But seriously... the relief corps only allowed one hit between them. And it was a single. After the game they celebrated by going to Slater Park and riding a bicycle built for five.

Red Sox starter Adam Mills got six innings in and can be blamed for the three Louisville runs. Robert Coello is BACK! and he worked the final three innings. He walked three Bats but didn't give up a hit. I don't care much for bases on balls or the restrained grimaces they evoke on relievers faces. But Robert Coello is back! Wait, was he ever here?

1. Louisville Bats walked 10 PawSox batters. Way to take advantage, Velazquez, Sanchez, Anderson, Bates, Reddick, and Jimenez! You hitless motherfuckers!!!
2. Bill Bray is rehabbing for Cincinnati. Reliever Carlos Fisher got the win.
3. Yonder Alonso and Zack Cozart each hit a double for Louisville.
4. Ooooh! Bats reliever Jon Adkins is four away from being the all-time saves leader in Louisville! YEAH JON ADKINS!!!! I can't believe I have never heard of this guy!

Tonight! Kris Johnson v Matt Maloney. Oooh, steamy! Have fun!



Star of Daniel

Please, let's all try not to kill this whole Daniel Nava thing. You can discuss it for the next 24 hours, but then please let us move on.

It's like, you may love coffee ice cream, but if you're forced to eat it non-stop, at some point you are going to projectile vomit. Especially the whole story about the sports lady he leaves tickets for. Because I haven't heard it already 77 times.

Furthermore, it's so great that you have been 'rooting for this kid' since you 'first heard about him 20 years ago' and 'what a great story' and zzzzzzzz. Believe me, I'm as happy about it as you are. It's pretty well-documented here, if you care to go back and look at stuff I wrote. But I'm begging you... know when to say when. Do not sour me on one of my favorite PawSox players.

And I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend.


PAW v IND - Deflation.

PawSox finally win, 1-0 in six innings. It rained, okay?

Ramon A. Ramirez started for Pawtucket and it was way more exciting than Nancy Kerrigan's grand slam in Boston. This is because Ramirez found it in his heart to get eight strikeouts in five innings and only gave up one hit. I don't believe it. Ramon Ramirez! Where the hell did that come from? He's been faking us out the whole time!

Aroldis Chapman did not fare quite as well. But that's not to say he sucked... Chapman struck out Niuman Romero and Lars Anderson. And Aaron Bates. And Bubba Bell and Gil Velazquez. And then Lars Anderson again. And then Aaron Bates. Again. Gil Velazquez struck out a second time. And then Angel Sanchez K'd. Nine strikeouts all told for Chapman.

So that was good.

Jorge Jimenez did NOT strike out last night and he got the sole Red Sox RBI. So go throw some confetti at him.

I'm taking the rest of the day off.


Pawtucket is Swept Away by the Indianapolis Indians.

And I mean that in the most romantic sense possible. It must have been the unstoppable sexiness of Doug Bernier and Wil Ledezma and Brian Myrow. But not Kevin Melillo, Most Dangerous Man in the IL. 10-3 Indians in a rather woolly game. I listened to it on the radio, which was celestial because of Hoard and Hyder's sustained excellence.

I gotta first apologize for the effed up lineups. I'm certain that I got it wrong. I'm really glad I wasn't scoring this game. And not only that, I still really hate doing the lineups. But I do them first thing because it gets me into everything. I especially hate it when Van Every plays, because HIS NAME IS TOO GODDAMN LONG. It fucks everything up! He must run out of those little squares you have to pencil your name into when you take SAT's or fill out tax forms. JV, GO PLAY FOR A TEAM IN THE PCL! Nothing personal.

Randor Bierd started for the Red Sox. Is it me or does Bierd always look like he is smiling? He's like the Mona Lisa of McCoy!

I don't really feel like doing this. I'll sum up: Bierd was a disaster, everyone switched places when I rang the bell, Daniel Nava was called up (thereby removing anyone remotely interesting from the team), TJ Large might as well not even exist at this school, Chad Paronto had an at-bat (I would seriously have paid $$$ to see this), Brandon Moss is the Nicest Kid in Town, and I AM GOING TO SEE THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES FEATURING NEIL WALKER, VELVET JONES, AND BRENDAN DONNELLY!

I love you guys so much, but I have this thing I'm doing today that I can't miss. The PawSox are back in town, Saturday night they'll be dressed to kill.


Holy crap, was Daniel Nava called up?

Because that would be pretty exciting.

Baby Sings 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game'

What? It's cute, okay?! I'm not made of stone, you know!

Here it is...


Vinnie Chulk is still alive?

4-2 Indians behind Daniel McCutchen's seven one-run innings. And with seven strikeouts! Michael Bowden cannot even hang with that. Kevin Melillo continues his baffling assault on Red Sox pitchers as well, going 2-5 with a double and a home run.

Bowden started for Pawtucket, but it was another typical boring start. Did not make it through five innings, gave up six hits including a home run, walked a couple... zzzzz.

Pawtucket's only run off McCutchen went down in the fourth inning. Angel Sanchez led things off with a sharp single to center. Daniel Nava followed that with a double, moving Sanchez over to third, where he presumably made small talk with Torey Lovullo.

Lars Anderson subsequently walked to load the bases. And then Ryan Kalish's wimpy little groundout managed to score Sanchez. Tug Hulett came after that, but was once again... not clutch. Hulett was called out on strikes, leaving Nava and Anderson on base. TUG.

The Pawtucket kidz were otherwise pretty quiet until the ninth, when with one out, Dusty Brown and Ryan Kalish hit back-to-back singles. Indianapolis reliever Justin Thomas then hit Tug Hulett with a pitch to load the bases. Uh-oh, Justin Thomas!

Next batter, Jorge Jimenez, hit a sacrifice fly to center, scoring Dusty Brown. Who's up next? Bubba Bell? No, Aaron Bates is coming in to pinch hit! The Indians bring in Wil Ledezma... and Bates pops out. Game OVAH.

And you know, this game could have been tied, but the Fabio Castro/Chad Paronto combo in the eighth inning allowed Indianapolis to score twice. So I suppose you could blame them. I'd prefer to blame Bowden, whose record dropped to 1-3 after last night's game. I KNOW everyone hates that stat, but Bowden has started 12 games. That's eight no-decisions!

And with another complicated mathematical formula I call the "Gazinta", I calculated Bowden's average innings pitched per start. It is... 4.83! For crying out loud. AM I missing something? I am missing something. Someone go here and start a thread called "Michael Bowden" because I need help figuring it out.

whatever happened to gravity?
1. Lars Anderson struck out three times.
2. Both Tug Hulett and Niuman Romero were caught stealing.
3. Former PawSox legend Brandon Moss doubled twice. That guy was a doubles machine back in the McCoy days. And that is how he stole your heart.

That's all. TONIGHT! Randor Bierd continues... oops, I almost said 'Road to Recovery'! God, may I never stoop to such triteness. Next thing you know I'll be saying stuff like 'Down By Way of the K' and 'Back-to-back Jacks'.




Neil Walker, Jose Tabata, and Brad Lincoln have all recently been called up by Pittsburgh. Here's a candid snap of Margin Walker.

Jamaican Sensation Justin Masterson was unstoppable last night. Remember how I didn't like him? That all stopped when he joined the bullpen band. Who's left? Manny Delcarmen? Okajima? Papelbon?

Damn. There was something else I wanted to say but I forgot.


These Indians Are Pirates: The Brandons, the Brians, and Stupid Kevin Melillo.

Indianapolis WINS! 5-3. Lefty gangsta Kris Johnson takes the loss and eats it with pancakes.

Johnson got five innings of work in and was responsible for all five runs. Come on, Johnson! Boston needs improvement so they can trade you!

The Indians were first to score a run last night, even though the Red Sox loaded the bases in the top of the second (Tug Hulett was not clutch in this situation). Third baseman Pedro Alvarez tripled and Brandon Moss' subsequent ground ball brought him home in the second inning.

Pawtucket managed to tie the game in the third inning. With one out, Angel Sanchez hit a line drive single to right. Nava followed that with a liner of his own to center, advancing Sanchez to third. 'Advancing Sanchez'... movie title? Band name? Album title! 'Advancing Sanchez' sounds like a great title for like a Radiohead album.

So Lars Anderson was cool... he doubled off Michael Crotta and Sanchez ran home. Nava went for it... but OUT! at home. Which may have been a controversial call, because it looks to me like pitching coach Rich Sauveur got ejected.

Aaron Bates flied out to end the inning. I would have loved to have seen that at-bat. EXCEPT I TOTALLY DID BECAUSE I AM IN INDIANAPOLIS.

Okay, I'm not. Pedro Alvarez hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the fourth to pull the Indians ahead 3-1. But Pawtucket came back to tie the game in the top of the fifth when Aaron Bates hit a two-run single to center. Which was great, but Kris Johnson ruined Christmas with a couple of doubles and a walk and a couple of sacrifice things that led to two runs. 5-3 Indianapolis and that was the final score.

"You mean neither team scored after the fifth inning?" - Yes, that is what I mean. Between the two teams, there were two singles and three walks. Red Sox relievers TJ Large and Chad Paronto kept Indianapolis scoreless on their end, while Wil Ledezma, Anthony Claggett, and Jean Machi beat down Pawtucket. Oh, well.

without you i'd die, dear:
1. Pedro Alvarez needed only a single to hit for the cycle, but he struck out in his last at-bat. Boo.
2. Bubba Bell came in to pinch run for Bates in the eighth, but was caught stealing. Jesus, Bell.
3. In my limited observations, I feel as though Lovullo is not as good at third base coaching as RJ was. I don't remember seeing this many guys thrown out at home! And I remember everything!
4. Kevin Melillo, who the hell are you? Another RBI for this guy.
5. Kris Johnson threw 95 pitches in five innings. That's total hangover pitching. I mean that figuratively, before you think I am being a jerk. I just mean it's like trying to do stuff when you have a hangover... it's a little more difficult and you can't get it quite right.
6. I've said this before, but it bears repeating: Pirates fans are some blogging motherfuckers. I guess pain and suffering evoke eloquence and volubility. Who says Boston has the best fans in the world? Pirates fans are hard. Core. Like Mets fans!
7. Pawtucket is now 27-33.
8. Michael Crotta is a recent AAA call-up. Please enjoy some video of his work.
9. Read this Anup Sinha article on Pedro Alvarez and his physical condition. It is superlative.
10. Lars Anderson. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. Anderson is widely reported to be a jerk, but I kind of like him.

Oh my god, I love doing this. TONIGHT! Bowden v Daniel McCutcheon. I love you guys so much... see you soon!


Baby Chris Carter is open-minded.

"Last year, Javier Lopez was like the only guy who could hang with me in the brains department. Then I checked out his iPod... Death Cab For Cutie and Yo La Tengo? Not so smart there, are you Jay?"

Yesterday at Indianapolis, there were extra innings.

6-5 Indians in eleven innings. Not even the mighty Robert Manuel could save this one.

Adam Mills gave up one run in his six innings of being and nothingness. Was he sharp? Signs point to no, with five hits and three walks. More like lucky. He may have left the game with confidence, since the Red Sox were up 5-1 at that point.

Reliever TJ Large contributed to the ruination by not getting anyone out in the seventh. Large allowed three consecutive singles to Indianapolis players including Jose Tabata's RBI hit and was replaced by the much more handsome Dustin Richardson. Richardson faced Kevin Melillo first. Melillo greeted him with a two-run single. A Ryan Kalish error allowed Melillo to reach second.

And then! Brian Myrow flied out to center and Melillo advanced to third. Richardson threw a wild pitch and Melillo scored. MELILLO! Tie game! Wow, Dustin Richardson's usually so composed and well-groomed. Maybe he had fire ants in his panties?

And then, after walking Pedro Alvarez, Richardson struck out Van Every and Moss. Jonathan Van Every is probably the opposite of Brandon Moss, in terms of warmth and cordiality.

The Red Sox failed to break the tie in the eighth inning. Bottom of the eighth... He appeared like an angel. Out of this filthy mess, he is alone. Fernando Cabrera did not have the cutest outing, but he did pitch two scoreless innings. It was Robert Manuel who gave it up. I said that already, right up there at the beginning. How come you never listen? How come I have to say everything twice?

Manuel set everyone down in the tenth, one two three, and Pawtucket once again failed to score in the eleventh, even though Jimenez walked and he waited patiently for someone to get him across. Not that he's mad or anything.

Robert Manuel got the first out in the eleventh, and then came huge pain in the ass Kevin Melillo. Melillo tripled to right. Daniel Nava threw the ball in to Romero, who messed up somehow (dude, I wasn't there) and made a crap throw to third. Error! And Melillo runs home and scores the tie-breaking run. WIN.

So it wasn't really Manuel's fault, although giving up triples with only one out isn't so hot. I will say that Manuel's pitched more relief innings than anyone out of the pen (look it up) and he works his ass off and maybe he needs a small break. Like, I know you want to use him because he is awesome, but pull away just a little bit. Besides, it's not like anyone cares if the team wins or loses in the long run. Why not run TJ Large til his arm turns black? Maybe, go get Kason Gabbard from wherever the hell he is and ride him like a plow horse?

Wow, I haven't even gotten to anything else. Indianapolis pitching: Starter Charlie Morton barfed up five runs during his brief 3 2/3 innings. Relievers Jeremy Powell and Brian Bass trampled the Pawtucket offense for the rest of the ride. I'll bet they were smug about it.

morbid self-attention:
1. Kevin Melillo is gracious: "Both bullpens were phenomenal tonight," Melillo said in a news release from the Indians.
2. Jorge Jimenez went 1-3 with two walks and two RBI. Dusty Brown hit his 13th double, which makes him the team's doubles leader.
3. Don't be too hard on Charlie Morton. He just came off the DL. Not only that, but he is cute as hell. I'll bet he gets mad ladies.
4. More on Charlie Morton: "This fuckin guy has given up 5 fuckin runs in less than 2 innings, yet the assholes that run this fuckin team will tell ya shit like "We like what he is doin overall"...."He is just one inning off per start, otherwise doin good"...."We really like his upside and he is improving"....etc.........

Well guess what.......this fuckin guy is gonna be 1-9 with the worst fuckin record in MLB and the worst ERA probably in MLB..........

I can't stand this guddammed team anymore and Charlie Morton exemplifies why we have the worst organization in any major sports league anywhere on this planet!!!!]]
" -posted by 'ranrod7' on the Pittsburgh Pirates Tavern forum.

Geez, I can't even really improve on that. And I thought I was prone to volatility!

Tonight! Kris Johnson and Brad Lincoln. Yeah, you love it.


6.7.10 PawSox @ Louisville Bats - "I saw your play... what happened?"

Red Sox take it, 7-2.

First things first: I was on vacation. OKAY? You're pretty lucky I'm even doing this today, since technically I have not yet returned to work.

This was a superlative pitching match up that I came pretty close to witnessing in person. AROLDIS CHAPMAN?! YES.

Pawtucket's starter was Felix Doubront (Brothers). FD went five innings with five hits and five K's. And two walks. And the one earned run, there.

Ramon Ramirez provided decent long relief, working hard in three innings and giving up another Louisville run. But not a Louisville urn, as I just typo-ed. Ramirez liked the urn a lot and kept it for himself. The run belonged to rocker Yonder Alonso, who went yard and delighted the fans, his parents, and his agent.

But I suppose you're all here to get the 411 on Chapman. Chapman was not terribly exciting in his Bats start. He gave up seven runs in two innings. Oh, sure, he threw hard... but his location had the sniffles and called in sick. It's a shame, too, because if you look at the rest of the box, his relief corps provided stellar numbers. Jesus Delgado pitched four scoreless innings and struck out five Pawtucket guys. Maybe Delgado should have started! And then Chapman could have blown it all...

Chapman faced six batters in the third inning without getting an out. He started the mess by issuing consecutive walks to Daniel Nava and Lars Anderson. Aaron Bates stepped up and delivered a harsh RBI double to right. NICE OPPOSITE FIELD POWER, BATES!!!

Ryan Kalish followed all of that with an RBI single to right. While I'm sure Kalish had a giant boner over facing Aroldis Chapman (and potentially getting a hit or something), it had to be deflated somewhat, considering Chapman was less than himself. I do not mean this in a taunting fashion. I just mean that reality is such a buzz kill.

Kalish then stole second base to get closer to L. Anderson, which proved to be moot when Dusty Brown walked to load the bases. Then Tug Hulett walked, because of course he did. Anderson scores and at long last, Chapman is removed.

So that was good. Bats relievers allowed no further runs, but the hitters couldn't climb back into it. Series split. Everyone goes home bored.

i want 90 people who just came out of the worst rainstorm in the city's history:
1. Uninteresting reliever Scott Atchison pitched the ninth inning. Atchison did not give up any runs, THANK GOD!
2. If you are going to call up Josh Reddick, then... seriously, when is Darnell McDonald returning?
3. "A couple of pitches early that were strikes weren't called strikes, and he didn't handle that real well." - Bats manager Rick Sweet. This simple statement makes Chapman come across as a primadonna. THE UMPIRES HATE YOU, AROLDIS CHAPMAN! PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS.
4. "Bats trainer Tomas Vera, who doubles as Chapman's translator, said that Chapman declined to be interviewed." - more from Michael Grant's game story
5. Righty relief pitcher Jesus Delgado entered the game in the third with the bases loaded, no outs, and struck out Velazquez, Romero, and Sanchez in order. I certainly hope he was rewarded by the ineffective starter for not further blowing up his ERA.
6. Delgado was originally signed as a non-drafted free agent by none other than the Boston Red Sox back in 2001. He was 17! Delgado was stapled to Hanley Ramirez as part of the Beckett/Lowell trade. Delgado is one sexy, sexy man.

Tonight! Adam Mills v Charlie Morton in Indianapolis, which is the Pirates, which is interesting because I am going to Pittsburgh and I will probably mention this a thousand times before I actually go.


Darnell McDonald's Uniform Number on the Rochester Red Wings

It was 25. You are welcome.


6.2.10 Charlotte Knights Get No Extra Base Hits

Felix Doubront WINS! 1-0. Doubront is as exciting as Boof Bonser after all!

Doubront faced 21 batters in 5 2/3 innings and nine of them grounded out. Useful information?

Dustin Richardson continued to provide Sustained Excellence in the Field of Relievering, working for an inning and a third and not giving up a hit or a walk. Ramirez, Castro, and Manuel all chipped in for the win. And not a hit or walk among them. Robert Manuel has been consistent and reliable. I love him in late innings.

Ryan Kalish got his first Pawtucket hit. A double! And Jorge Jimenez batted him in for the sole Red Sox run. So that's good news for Ryan Kalish and all his friends and lovers.

Charlotte starter Matt Zaleski got the loss crammed up his ass. His record is now 4-3.

funny, he never mentioned you:
1. Of course the real story is the Perfect Game horror show. During the seventh inning stretch at McCoy, they played the damn thing on their beloved scoreboard. The park was quiet and frozen. All the players turned their heads to watch. It's one of those unforgettable moments, like when Trevor Hoffman tied the all-time saves record.
2. Daniel Nava also hit a double, which might have scored Romero in the first had Romero not been caught stealing.
3. I STILL want to call Stefan Gartrell 'Gordon'. I feel for him. I really do.
4. I'll bet Doubront's nickname is 'Douby'. Isn't that funny? Everyone knows minor league baseball players never touch marijuana!
5. Someone spelled Doubront's name wrong here.
6. Luis Rodriguez and Tyler Flowers got the Knights only hits.

I guess that's all. Tonight it is Adam Mills and one of the Hudsons. Knowing me, knowing you, it's the best I can do.


Lenny Dinardo is not that interesting.

Recently I have been bombarded with Lenny Dinardo requests. Has he done something noteworthy? I cannot figure it out. Someone enlighten me? Is it an STD thing?

Someone suggested that maybe he appeared in a woman's magazine as a sexy bachelor. I can barely say that with a straight face. I am aware that he is considered good-looking... I don't know. I really don't get it.

Lenny Dinardo is beige carpeting.

In a related story, Gil Velazquez' uniform number is no longer 2. It is now 17. No word on his reaction to the change.

6.1.10 Charlotte Knights wear their socks up high.

And starter Jeffrey Marquez wore stirrups. 3-2 Knights. And last night's game featured Me and Vee in the blue seats. With diamonds!

Boof Bonser was the Red Sox starter last night and he's currently my favorite. Bonser is taking this all very seriously, too. And he's way more exciting than Prospects of Note.

Bonser pitched seven innings, threw 86 pitches. I think he looked pretty good, but what do I know? New kid Ryan Kalish helped him out with some balls-out catches in center. I am not a huge Kalish fan but how could I not be impressed? Besides, his lower half is hewn from mighty oaks.

Bonser left the game with Pawtucket ahead, 2-1. Chad Paronto entered the game and spoiled it by giving up a two-run homer to Luis Rodriguez. Ooooh, unfortunate... and a little uncomfortable for everyone.

Pocket reliever Fabio Castro managed to keep the Charlotte kids from scoring further, but the Red Sox could not score a third or fourth run. It would have been a terrific game if that had happened.

Knights starter Jeffrey Marquez is an exceptionally good-looking young man who happened to strike out five member of the Pawtucket Red Sox. Bonser beat him with six K's, however. Not that it's a competition. Except maybe it is.

The Red Sox two runs came courtesy of numerouno and his first Pawtucket home run. Romero could not have done it without his bizarre haircut.

dream weaver:
1. Fernando Cabrera came into the game in the ninth to get one out. Watching him pitch is a revelation. Him and his long, powerful legs. Some people like sensitive vampires and werewolves. Some people like Hollywood leading men. Some people like racecar drivers. Some people like well-appointed pop stars. I am a creepy older woman and I LIKE FERNANDO. I am like Wayne Campbell upon seeing Crucial Taunt for the first time, every time. There's never anyone good looking on the PawSox so this is a modern marvel. Now pardon me while I make a puffy-paint t-shirt.
2. Knights reliever Erick Threets and his dirty tattoos got the win.
3. I read this Mark Harriman report and I have to wonder... was this his first McCoy visit? What's with the press box food and autograph seeker comments? Not bad overall, though. I have every right to judge!
4. It was raining pretty hard and I did not think this game would be played. Turned into a cool evening. And Charlotte first baseman Josh Kroeger has a remarkable fanny.
5. I recently saw members of the Charlotte Knights at a bar in my neighborhood. You would think meatheads like that would be chugging beers and being all loud. Not so! They were mostly well-behaved and enjoying some Keno. Like your mémère might.

Tonight! you're mine completely. Also, Felix Doubront v Matt Zaleski. Oooh, sexy!