5.30.09 Pawtucket@Indianapolis - with the losing

Who's a sad clown? Pawtucket loses in extras, 4-3. Thirteen innings. Fernando Cabrera gets his first loss of the year and could probably use some TLC.

PawSox starter Clay Buchholz went 6 2/3 innings with no walks. As usual, I guess. Buchholz gave up two runs on five hits, one being Jeff Salazar's solo home run in the seventh.

Pawtucket scored a couple of runs in the fourth inning, bringing the run total to three... and then they just stopped there forever. The Indians didn't score until the seventh inning, with their two runs off Buchholz.

Things got interesting in the eighth inning, when Hunter Jones came in for McBeth. With Shelby Ford on second, Hunter Jones balked. Ford then stole home! WHAT. Yes, Shelby Ford stole home on Jones/Brown.

In the top of the tenth, Angel Chavez had a chance to be awesome with Carter on second thanks to a double, and McAnulty on first post-IBB. Sadly, Chavez grounded out.

Top of the eleventh: Pawtucket gets two runners on AGAIN, but cannot get a run across. Chip Ambres strikes out with Denker ins coring position.

Bottom of the 13th: Cabrera pitching. Walks the first two guys. Then, with one out, Cabrera intentionally walks Garrett Jones to load the bases. And a wild pitch scores Bixler to win the game. A wild pitch! "it was too much, my heart broke..."

Chris Bootcheck got the win for Indianapolis. Seriously, this is some gut-punch, kidney-shot loss. I'll bet the pitchers and the batters don't play cards together too much these days.

no te llores, compostelana:
1. Oh, yeah, I forgot to say that Hunter Jones is back.
2. So... Rocky Cherry's been doing well.
3. There was an hour and fifteen minute delay. I'm assuming rain, but I can't find anything yet. Wait.. TORNADO???
4. Chris Carter hit two doubles. Travis Denker hit his second home run of the season.
5. Mark Kotsay went 1-3 with an RBI, if you care about Mark Kotsay.

Tomorrow! Kris Johnson v righty Eric Hacker at 2 pm. I am going to see the Sea Dogs v Connecticut Defenders tomorrow... in addition to a bizarre ritual I'll be attending in CT earlier in the day. Connecticut all day!!



By the way, Devern Hansack has been spotted in Pawtucket. He was flying a kite at Slater Park while drinking a Del's and eating a New York System wiener.

Except the second part.

Baby Chris Carter will never understand you.

"Hey, popular music acts who use voice alteration technology - EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN'T SING. Except maybe you. Am I the only one with the balls to point this out? Oh, except Kanye, he's cool."

52909 Cosmopolitan Indianapolis murderizes Pawtucket

14-7 Indianapolis Indians. I think the most amazing part is that the Red Sox scored seven runs. And I am gonna set myself on fire.

Enrique G has not been that bad for Pawtucket, but lately his panty lines have been showing. Gonzalez (or 'Gonzo', if you have no imagination) pitched 4 1/3 innings, giving up 8 runs on 9 hits.

Indianapolis is the real story here, so let's go: Bottom two, big boy Steve Pearce leads off with a double. After Margin Walker flies out, Adam Melhuse (not dead yet) singles. Pearce to third... then designated hitter Luis Cruz hits an RBI double. That is what you call "Cruz Control"! I'm sorry.

Shelby Ford then has a productive out, grounding to first so Adam Melhuse can score. Brian Bixler doubles, Luis Cruz comes in for the third run. BRIAN BIXLER IS AFRAID OF THE DARK!!!

Pawtucket scored five runs at the top of the third... Indy scored another three to pull ahead immediately thereafter. Inning four was cool... came and went with no incident.

Fifth inning, everything fell apart for Pawtucket. Blood everywhere. Scraps of charred paper fell from the sky like tacky butterflies... we all cried. Velvet Jones started the battery with a little single, very innocent. And then the oafish Jones stole second. If Garrett Jones is stealing on you, then you may need to work on some things. I don't want to blame catcher Carlos Maldonado because I am his number one fan... but I might not want to blame Gonzalez, either.

Okay, so Jones steals, Pearce is at bat in his leather jacket and he singles. Runners at the corners, nobody out. Neil Walker flies out to center, allowing G. Jones to score. Randor Bierd is off the TIL! Bierd trots in from the bullpen purposefully. But then: "Adam Melhuse reaches on force attempt, missed catch error by second baseman Travis Denker, assist to shortstop Gil Velazquez. Steve Pearce to 2nd."

Everybody got that? Can I stop now? No.

DH Luis Cruz is hit by Bierd's pitch. Bases loaded, one out. Indians fans are cheering wildly (I guess). And then Shelby Ford hits a grounder to first, which Kotsay messes up somehow, allowing Ford to reach and Pearce to score. Brian Bixler is up next, hits a two-run single.

I have to stop now.

But I'll do the list because it's the easiest part.

you make yourself so beautiful:
1. Freddie Guzman and Chip Ambres both tripled. Two triples in one game is as rare as a sensitive fascist.
2. Pauly Mac hit a 3-run homer.
3. Randor Bierd's ERA is currently 15.43. I'm not saying David Pauley was like Ted Lilly or anything, but... I don't know what I'm saying.
4. Adam Melhuse! Wow! And at first I thought Shelby Ford was Lew Ford, but didn't he retire?
5. Chip Ambres is batting .266, which may be the highest average out of all the every day guys. We are reliving 2007 in Pawtucket. Also: Chip Ambres is a good, good man.

It's okay. I'll be back later on. I love you.



PawSox infielder Jeff Natale filled in for Hoard recently and he was really good on the radio! I mean, for a novice. Funny how I just recently said Natale wasn't exciting. It was really neat.

Last night's Pawtucket radiocast was exceptional. I was transfixed. I can't really put my finger on WHY it was so engaging... it was just great. They were talking about how Mark Kotsay organized a team bowling excursion and it just sounded like so much fun. I'm sure you can read about it on either of the radio guys' blogs.

Here is the difference between Hoard's blog and Hyder's blog: Hyde's Inside Pitch is a little... edgier. A little more dangerous. It's like the difference between Alejandro Machado and Travis Hughes... or the difference between Ivan Ochoa and Gil Velazquez. Or between Baseball Heavy and some box score blog.

By the way, my heart kinda goes out to Chris Carter, who is not waving but drowning. I mean, he's a lefty DH type, right? Think it over, Boston. A lonely heart grows cold and old.

Escribeme pronto!!

may 28th pawsox/bats - the power of chris compels me

Bats SMASH Pawtucket, 5-2. Can't you see you're hurting me, Pawtucket offense? Don't you care? Don't you care?

Interesting note: Pawtucket had 14 hits to Louisville's 13. Pawtucket left 12 guys on base! The sad thing is that Freddie G kept coming up with runners in scoring position, but come on... he's Freddie Guzman! I like to watch Guzman play, because he does it with verve and elan, but at times his eagerness gets him in trouble.

Reds prospecty stunner Homer Bailey got the start. Bailey gave up eleven hits in six innings but Pawtucket's hit conversion was in the toilet last night, so he got lucky with the two runs. I like to think that Homer B. would walk off the mound after the PawSox at-bats marveling at their ineptitude.

Mike Bowden.. or Michael, however he rolls. Mr. Type-A personality who has to fix his fucking pants/cup/socks after EVERY SINGLE PITCH (it rivals Nomar Garciaparra for fidgety analness) pitched into the fifth and then he had to go. Bowden threw 84 pitches and gave up two runs on six hits. He is also apparently made of porcelain.

Billy Traber and his Amazing Square Head (NOW! With mustache) gave up another run in his 1 1/3 innings. Favorite Fallen Idol Javier Lopez and his Amazing 13.50 ERA also pitched one and a third, but Lopez doubled the runs with two when Danny Dorn homered with Bankston on base. He suffered, died, and was buried.

Rocky Cherry and his Clean Conscience pitched the final inning and Louisville came up empty. Cherry's team didn't win or anything but his stats were ridin' dirty.

I'm so glad I wasn't at this game. I would have had bright red palm prints all over my face.

pray for me:
1. Danny Dorn had a killer night, going 3-4 with his home run and his outfield assist (he nailed Chris Carter at home).
2. Wait... isn't Wilkin Castillo a catcher? And he's playing third? That's pretty versatile.
3. Carter, JV, and Velazquez all hit doubles off Bailey.
4. Danielson and Ambres each stole a base.
5. Dusty Brown, on-base machine? Two hits and two walks? I'll take it and unwrap an ice cream sandwich while I watch.
6. Angel Chavez went 2-5. I wish he was my friend in real life. When he's on third base, he should be wearing a cape.

Tonight! Indy Indians featuring former Yankee roider Daniel McCutcheon. Enrique Gonzalez gets the start for Pawtucket.


5.28.09 Pawtucket R Sox @ L'Ville Bats

Red Sox win, 2-0! And dig that crazy lineup!

Charlie Zink was very good once again. Zink pitched his way into the eighth inning, only giving up one hit. He walked six and struck out two.

Vaquedano finished off the eighth for Zink, getting Darnell McDonald to ground into a double play.

Fernando Cabrera closed things out in the ninth with a flyout and two K's. And he is never going to call me. Cabrera got three outs on ten pitches. Since two of them were strikeouts, well, Wes Bankston must have hit that flyout on the first pitch. I am so good at math.

Pawtucket scored its first run in the second inning. McAnulty led things off with a ground rule double and catcher John Otness hit an RBI single shortly thereafter. The Red Sox scored their second run in the seventh, thanks to a sac fly by third baseman Angel Chavez. If you're a friend of Chavez, then you're lucky, because he is clearly a Captain of Goodness.

The PawSox aggregated seven hits. Otness had two, including a double.

1. Van Every and Carter had the day off.
2. Angel Chavez has climbed up pretty far in the batting order! I have never met the man in my life, yet I'm pretty sure he's terrific. I just ell-oh-vee-ee him!
3. Gil Velazquez HATES playing first base, so I hope he got some flowers after the game for being such a good sport.
4. One error for Charlie Zink, a failed pickoff attempt in the sixth. You've got your troubles, I've got mine.
5. This game started at 11 a.m. UN-GODLY!!
6. Zink threw 100 pitches and complimented his defense: "I was jamming guys, which is what I'm looking for. My defense played great. I got a little tired. There was a little humidity. We haven't had a lot of warm weather." Zink went on to say "The NASDAQ is looking healthier. Did you see that new Supreme Court lady? Kentucky is a commonwealth. Dude, why you still holding that?"
7. Darnell McDonald! Back in triple-A after being DFA'd by Cincinnati. He is really one of my favorites.
8. Bats starter Matt Maloney had seven strikeouts in seven innings.

Tomorrow! Check it out, Homer Bailey! Bailey's up against Bowden, and not in a dirty Las Vegas way. Can't wait to see what happens.


Baby Chris Carter weighs in at last.

"Nick Johnson? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Chris George gets bored easily.

Pawtucket Red Sox lefty reliever Chris George was born in 1998, more or less, since that was when he was picked first by the Kansas City Royals in the amateur draft. His life prior to that day is of no consequence.

CG was in the PCL for the most part until 2008, when he wound up on the Syracuse Chiefs after being released by the Rockies. He's spent ten seasons in triple-A. From 2001-2004, George started 44 games for Kansas City.

Chris George is not exactly all over the internet, so I don't have much. But I like making lists because they are simple and I am a simpleton.

1. Chris George honeymooned in Puerto Rico so he could play baseball and make his wife, Brandi, cry while she watched him pitch.
2. Chris George was a gold-medal winning member of the US Olympic Baseball Team in 2000. So he's buds with Mientkiewicz?
3. Was offered Rice scholarship but skipped it to sign with the Royals.
4. CG received a signing bonus of $1,162,500.
5. Went to the same high school as David Murphy. Possibly at the same time. I wonder if they knew each other? I wonder if they ever high-fived each other? Do you ever dream of me? Do you ever see the letters that I write?

That's all I have time for. I'm still not 100% sure I could pick Chris George out of a lineup. I'll do my best to fix that problem.


25 May 2009 - Pawtucket Red Sox @ Louisville Bats

3-0 PawSox. Clay Buchholz is thoughtful. Nine innings with one hit and no runs? NO WALKS?? 96 PITCHES?? (You can't hear it, but my voice is getting higher and higher pitched as I ask these questions.)

Second baseman Danny Richar led off the ninth inning with a single but he stood there wondering what happened after two strikeouts and a groundout.

Catcher Dusty Brown went 3-4 with a home run. That is so unlike Brownie! In the bottom of the sixth, Paul McAnulty followed Brown's solo home run with one of his own.

In the bottom of the seventh, Sean Danielson sac flied his BFF Velazquez home for Pawtucket's third run. This all happened in Kentucky, which if you think about it long enough... well, it's just strange.

Good win for the Red Sox, who likely needed it after having the shit kicked out of them by SWB over the weekend.


Ron Johnson's Live Chat

Doesn't look like a huge turnout for this historic event. Damn, I really wish I could have participated.


"Warren: Ron...is there a tense rivalry at the minor league level with the yanks farm team ?

Ron Johnson: No doubt---it run's aall the way down"



Dude, I totally forgot to mention that Craig Breslow was claimed off waivers by the Oakland A's! Crazy!

In a related story, Kason Gabbard is working it out down south and he's really, really coming. Really!

May 23rd 2009 - PawSox, Scrankees.

9-2 Yankees.

How come Bowden pitched only two innings? Was he called up or something? So he gave up four runs... who cares? This is so stupid. He's thrown more than 58 pitches before.

Scranton Wilkes-Barre exploded again and Pawtucket just lay around like a used condom. Shelley Duncan hit two home runs, which brings his season total up to 14.

The Yankees cranked out seven doubles as well. Tea Leone and Juan Miranda had two apiece.

Marcus McBeth, Billy Traber, and Rocky Cherry each pitched two innings. Only Cherry did not allow a run. Hunter Jones took care of inning nine, giving up yet another run.

Scranton Wilkes-Barre starter Casey Fossum pitched six very good innings. One run on three hits. Four strikeouts! Fossum!

on the bright side:
1. Gil Velazquez hit his first home run.
2. And Hunter Jones is back.
3. Van Every was ejected in the seventh. He was the last batter in the sixth and struck out looking. Safe to assume he bitched about the call?
4. Good article here.
5. I didn't have to witness this game in person.
6. Dusty Brown went 0-4 with 2 K's. Carter was 0-4 with one K.

The triple-A Yankees can seriously mash. They are a great team. It's easy to see why they are in first place in their division. Pawtucket is a lumber-free zone and they don't stand a chance tomorrow. OKAY??? It's too bad triple-A isn't like the majors, else there'd be rumors of bat acquisition.

The Mighty Enrique Gonzalez will oppose Kei Igawa tomorrow at 6. Then nothing more. Until June 2nd... LOUISVILLE!!!


5.22.09 Pawtucket v Scranton Wilkes-Barre

Pawtucket YES! WINS! YES!! 2-1. And Charlie Zink gets to keep his job... for now.

Zink! Pitched his balls off for eight innings and god bless him. Three hits, two walks and only one run? He pegged Austin Jackson at the top of the ninth, which got him replaced by the closer, but that's okay. Wow, I almost don't like SWB the same way I don't like NYY!

104 pitches for Charlie Zink. If I were a baseball player of limited intellect, I might say "Zinky was huge tonight. He picked the whole team up." Instead I'll just say I'm sorry I missed this.

Do you like home runs? Charlie Zink does! Van Every and Brown both hit solo homers off Towers. Wait... wasn't CMW supposed to pitch?? I already made out the lineup, which I hate doing so much!!! Eff it, I'm not changing anything.

Sultry Pawtucket closer Fernando Cabrera got the save. He gave up a hit to Todd Linden, but got the next three guys out. You should see Cabrera in the dugout with his long legs all stretched out... he always looks like he's just about to fall asleep.

yes, it's true:
1. Reegie. Not Reggie. That's what his name is.
2. It was Dusty Brown's first home run of the season. You should have seen his mustache. Pawtucket has a little mustache club going on. It's pretty scumhawk.
3. If you find Mark Kotsay exciting, he went 2-3.
4. Angel Chavez got a hit. There's a lot to love about AC. Please remember I said this when August rolls around and most of my love and good will has dissipated.
5. F-Cab allowed Zink's baserunner, Jackson, to score in the ninth when he gave up a hit to Hal Linden.
6. This game was only two hours long!

Tomorrow: Maybe Chien-Ming Wang? Anyway, post-game fireworks if you can stand it. I cannot.

Baby Chris Carter answers your questions.

"How heavy is a baseball? Well, a baseball weighs five ounces. The MLB rules allow a maximum weight of 5.25 oz, but then I wouldn't have the bitchin' light-tower power you see on display at all levels!"

5.21.09 Yankees defeat Red Sox effortlessly!

14-1 SWB. Wow, that's pretty embarrassing.

Kris Johnson: Did not pitch that well. Volcano Vaquedano: Did not pitch that well. Chris George: So-so. Who is this guy, anyway?

Rocky Cherry: Hey, Cherry did very well... one hitless inning!

Javier Lopez: Did not pitch well. Billy Traber: Got one out.

Pawtucket's only run came from Chris Carter's solo shot in the seventh, off Romulo Sanchez.

The Yankees and their obscenely tight pants were all over the bases with ten hits and ten walks. They are all mostly jacked assholes.

Gil Velazquez is back, which is good.

Astonishing True Tale: Some guy was in my seat so I sat elsewhere. A man and a woman sat next to me and somehow the woman's beer got spilled and they fought about this event for two innings.

I changed seats. Behind me were a father and daughter of the perpetually drunk sort. It was the daughter's 21st birthday, but she had the demeanor of a hard-drinking 40-year-old. Although she was only 21, her father said she'd been a bartender for five years... "But that's neither here nor there." Her goal was to date a baseball player: Specifically, Jason Bay. I looked at the Pawtucket roster to see if I could play matchmaker... came down to Vaquedano, Travis Denker, or Danielson.

At any rate, they were pretty entertaining.

1. Hello, Yankees fans. Welcome to McCoy Stadium. I'm sorry that it sucks. I'm sorry the dugouts are weird. By the way, you do know this isn't the real Yankees? If you look closely, that is not Jorge Posada catching. I know it's hard to tell with the face mask. While we're at it, was it really necessary to wear your Yankees jersey all well as the Yankees cap?
2. I was not too happy to see muscle-bound first baseman Juan Miranda. He killed Pawtucket last year and will likely do the same during this series.

Let's just put this game behind us. Tonight: Chien-Ming Wang up against Charlie Zink. YES.


I can't just call him 'man'.

Devern Hansack has a brother named Dennis. Dennis Hansack is also a pitcher and he's currently a closer for the Coastal Bluefields in Nicaragua.

I can always count on 'El Nuevo Diario' for Hansack updates and so forth. I have learned a lot about Nicaragua in the process.

If only Zach Daeges was from Cyprus or something... then I could check in and see how he's doing.

Baby Chris Carter says

"Seeing Javier Lopez in the bullpen was like 2006 all over again. I could almost see the ghosts of Craig Breslow and Marc Deschenes sitting next to him, much like Obi-Wan and Yoda appeared to Luke Skywalker."


5.19.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons (NYM)

Pawtucket WINS!!11! 4-3. Angel Chavez won this game and that is a fact, son.

Buffalo sent righty Brandon Knight to the mound. Knight only gave up two runs in six innings. Reliever Carlos Muniz came into the game with a 3-2 lead, but it was blown to hell when scorching hot Angel Chavez knocked a two-run homer out. Wow.

Clay Buchholz was good, not great. 4 1/3 innings and he kinda threw 94 pitches and not so many strikes. Fernando Martinez, who is Number One USA prospect, hit a solo HR off Buchholz in the third and then again in the fifth. The second home run was ruled a double, initially, but the umps conferred and changed the call to a home run. There's this yellow line out on the outfield wall, see...

Marcus McBeth's relief appearance can only described as Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. McBeth went long, 2 2/3 innings, and only gave up one hit - a double to catcher Rene Rivera. I thought he was going to be out there forever.

Bullpen righty and sex kitten Fernando Cabrera came in for the save (post-Chavez explosion). After getting Jesus Feliciano out, he walked Johnny Malo... and threw a wild pitch! Malo ran and ran and yeah, he did cross home plate but it didn't tie the game. Fortunately, the ball wound up in the dugout. Ground rule double?

Cabrera got the last two batters out, but it was so close. Easy as a nuclear war.

i wrote this song in the park:
1. Pawtucket risked both our lives in the first inning. Freddie Guzman led everything off with a walk and a stolen base. Two-hole batter Kev Youkilis grounded out, moving the runner to third. Then this:
"Paul McAnulty hit into fielder's choice double play, shortstop Jonathan Malo to third baseman Mike Lamb to second baseman Argenis Reyes to first baseman Wily Mo Pena to second baseman Argenis Reyes. Freddy Guzman out at home. Paul McAnulty out at 2nd."
I got all bollixed up trying to score this, but basically both Guzman and Mac were caught in rundowns. I'm sure RJ was thrilled. Good thing the team ultimately won!
2. When relievers stroll into the dugout from the bullpen between innings to top off their coffee or whatever, why do they walk like Reservoir Dogs? Nice and slow, see? That's the way to do it.
3. Paul McAnulty hurt his hand in the fourth inning whilst executing the back end of a 1-3 force (Mike Lamb)(kins). It must have been killing him! He had to step off and bend over... owwww...
4. MANIELSON! Big oaf Wily Mo Pena cranked a fat single to left with a runner in scoring position. Argenis Reyes and his weird-ass hair were DENIED the run because of Sean Danielson's freaking amazing power throw to the infield! Reyes only made it to third.
5. Iggy Suarez hit his first Pawtucket home run.

Day off tomorrow, then the Yankees.


5.19.09 Buffalo is shaking off the cold.

Buffalo defeats Pawtucket, 9-2.

Pawtucket starter Enrique Gonzalez has, up until last night, been fairly solid. It's okay. Five of the nine Buffalo runs were his (un)doing. Super duper Mets prospect Fernando Martinez hit a solo home run.

I was going to go to the park last night, but it didn't work out and that's okay. I watched the Mets on tv last night and I noticed some of the guys I'd just seen in Pawtucket were over there in LA. Like Ramon Martinez. Funny how that works.

Red Sox third baseman Angel Chavez was responsible for both RBI. Perhaps he is heating up? I didn't think Chavez was in a slump. I just thought he couldn't hit. Chavez also made an error in the seventh inning. Hey, can we talk about inning seven, guys?

THE SEVENTH INNING! Robinson Cancel is the first batter in the seventh and he singles off Gonzalez. Mike Lamb then singles. The next batter is International Guitar Sensation Jose Feliciano! And Feli hits an RBI double, scoring Cancel. FELIZ NAVIDAD, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Enrique Gonzalez is yanked, Chris George takes over. George gets Johnny Malo to ground out... and then intentionally walks Argenis Reyes.

Cory Sullivan is the next batter and I think he bunts or something. At any rate, Travis Denker makes an error and two runs score. I wish I could have seen this. Fernando Martinez bats next and there's a PASSED BALL!! HOLY SMOKES!! ARGENIS REYES COMES HOME TO SCORE!! Anticlimactically, Martinez walks.

Chris George gets the hook. Rocky Cherry comes out of the bullpen. Willy Mo Pena hits a grounder over toward third base, which probably should have been the second out, but I guess Angel Chavez makes the error and Pena reaches and Sullivan crosses the plate.

Remember Javier Valentin? What happened to his catching career? And is he really only 33? Anyway, Valentin bats next and hits an RBI single, scoring F. Martinez. Fortunately, Cancel comes up again and grounds out and Mike Lamb flies out. But, hey, six runs is more than anyone needs to beat Pawtucket. Sometimes it only takes two runs.

sad movies always make me cry:
1. Former PawSox head K. Youkilis was in town for some rehab action... he'll be there today and so will I.
2. Van Every also made an error. It probably killed him. If I were a jerk, I might call him "Jonathan Van Error" but he's a good fielder out there.

Buchholz today. Meatloaf tomorrow. I'm too bored to breathe.


5.16.09 Red Sox v Bisons - God, I hate you Kyle.

Pawtucket WINS! 3-2. Geez, was that so freaking hard?

Charlie Zink showed mild-to-moderate improvement in tonight's start. Zink gave up two earned runs on six hits in six innings. He did not hit anyone with his soft, floaty knuckleball. Some of his pitches sailed over the batters' heads... it was dramatic and not at all funny.

Zink walked Fernando Martinez, Robinson Cancel, and Jesus Feliciano. That would be Jesus, not 'Jose' Feliciano. I'm talking to YOU, brain!

Zink gave up both runs in the third inning. Fernando Martinez hit the ball hardish up the infield, Zink got after it and threw awkwardly to carter at first. The ball went past Carter and F-Mart wound up at third thanks to ZInk's throwing error.

The next batter was Wily Mo Pena. No, not the same guy that played in Boston! This is a different Wily Mo Pena! He's some guy in the Mets minor league system. You should see him, he's huge!

Wily Mo Pena hit an RBI double. First baseman Javier Valentin was up next and Zink threw a wild pitch which allowed Pena to scoot over to third. Valentin then hit an RBI single. Two runs.

Coaching visit (Sauveur), flyout, groundout, inning over. YES.

Kyle Snyder looked pretty good in his start... at first. Snyder got yanked in the sixth inning after Chris Carter's two-run double. Reliever Carlos Muniz then gave up an RBI single to Paul McAnulty, giving Pawtucket the lead. YES.

Billy Traber, Marcus McBeth, and Fernando Cabrera kept the Bisons from any further scoring.

switzer, look over here! who are you wearing?
1. Misc celebrities in the hizz tonight: Wily Mo, Javier Valentin, former PawSox lefty reliever and metrosexual Jon Switzer, freshly DFA'd Javier Lopez, Kyle Snyder of course, Mike Lamb... err... and Global Guitar Sensation Jose Feliciano!!!
2. Recently I predicted Jeff Corsaletti's demise. Well, he's gone. And now I have to figure out Freddie Guzman.
3. John Otness up from Portland. I'm pretty sure he has a moustache.
4. I think it's pretty funny that Jason Cooper is STILL on the Bisons, even though they switched franchises. Doesn't he hold the record for most games played as a Bison? HE WILL NOT BE BEATEN!!!


Tomorrow... Mets v Red Sox

Behold the mermaid!! (part 2)

I was RIGHT! Jeff Corsaletti's GONE!!

I was at the ballpark earlier over by the bullpen. I glanced down and saw Javier Lopez... and it didn't register immediately. Then... HEY! Lopez hasn't been in the Pawtucket bullpen in years!

So I was wrong about Lopez. People said he'd go to Pawtucket, but I didn't think so.


5.15.09 PAW @ TOL - I'm getting kind of tired of holding this!

Pawtucket LOSES again 6-0. They have not scored a run in THREE games! That's CRAZY!

Daisuke Matsuzaka is still rehabbing, it seems. Matsuzaka threw 70 pitches through five innings, which isn't too bad. He gave up two runs and had nine strikeouts. Strikeouts aren't as good as groundouts but they're definitely more glamorous!

But in case you care, DM got 5 batters to ground out.

On another kind of day, you might want to be very angry with Chris George. George gave up six runs in 2 2/3 innings, but it makes no difference when your team's not scoring runs.

No one batting in the 5-9 holes got a single hit. Van E had a couple of hits, one of them a double. Ambres and Carter got hits because they are sluggers. Danielson had a hit because he's been doing that a lot lately. Which is good... he is leading off, after all.

Ruddy Lugo must be Cy freaking Young. Lugo pitched seven three-hit innings. Wooo! Randy Fien... no, his name is Casey. Casey Fien pitched the final two innings of scoreless goodness. Mmmmm... creamy.

1. HESSMANIA! Mike Hessman hit a home run. Good to have you back, son.
2. Frazier tripled off Matsuzaka in the first inning. Triples are like the most exciting thing.
3. In spite of six runs scoring, this game was merely 2 hrs 13 min long.

And that's it for the Toledo Mud Hens v. PawSox this season. Damn.


velvet waltz

Gil Velazquez flew to Calif. Then Chris Carter. Aren't they both Californians anyway? I'm sure they can recommend restaurants and whatnot.

Carlos Maldonado's been hurt and I really didn't want that to happen. So Sandy Madera might catch.

Jeff Natale would look great if he wore glasses. It would do wonders for his appearance. Plus I heard he was smartish.

I wonder when Bailey will be shipped back to Pawtucket?

Jeff Corsaletti DH'd this morning. They have to be messing with him at this point. Or maybe he's injured and I'm being a jerk.

Triple A is just crazy.

5.13.09 Toledo ANNIHILATES Red Sox!!

Toledo finally WINS! 1-0 in ten innings. This game started at 10:30 am so schoolkids could have an adorable field trip. After the game, the Mud Hens must have sucked down some bloody marys hardcore at Le Foyer in one of the function rooms. YEAH BREAKFAST BUFFET!!!

Clay Buchholz, blah blah phenom blah blah fellatio blah double-digit strikeouts etc etc.

Toledo's pitching was BALLS. Big giant righty Eddie Bonine pitched nine shutout innings. One hit, five strikeouts, NO WALKS. No, you may not call him 'Eddie Baby'.

The game was tied at zero the whole time... until Billy Traber and his Amazing Square Head took over in the tenth and failed to help Buchholz.

Toledo righty Casey Fien got the win, though, which is really a shame. Congratulations to second baseman Will Rhymes for getting the winning run home.

Let's get a closer look at Eddie Bonine!
1. Bonine has pitched a total of nine games with Detroit between '08 (as a starter)-'09 (out of the pen).
2. Bonine was originally drafted 23rd round by San Diego in '03. He came to the Detroit org in 2006.
3. Bonine was in Detroit this year while Joel Zumaya was on the DL. Zumaya back, Bonine down to AAA.
4. Wait... he's got a knuckleball? WHAT.
5. Eddie B went to University of Nevada. LADY WOLFPACK!!! I once walked past the campus when I lived in Reno.
6. Former Boston reliever Scott Williamson may have a beef with Bonine... he was released so Eddie could squeeze onto the roster.
7. Eddie Bonine's mom has breast cancer. Sad.

That's all for now. I was thinking about listing all the PawSox players at-bat songs, but I can't remember that many. Two guys have a Kanye song, though.


'my sister's a jive-ass whore'

I didn't give my mother a card on mother's day and it was awful.

One day, I was at my mother's and she wanted to show me an article she was excited about. She hopped onto the internet so I could see this kid, this superstar pitcher named Stephen Strasburg.

Now it looks like Strasburg will be drafted by the Nationals. He could possibly wind up pitching at McCoy Stadium if he signs with them, because their AAA team is Syracuse.

And so it goes: My mother knew about SS before I did. She's also forgiven me for forgetting a card.

5.12.09 Pawtucket @ Toledo Mud Hens (DET) (ROIT)

Pawtucket WINS! 2-1. And tonight we are going to find out exactly WHO the very mysterious Don Kelly is.

Enrique Gonzalez continues to be better than Edgar Martinez. Gonzalez pitched eight innings! OHMYGOD! Eight shutout innings with eight strikeouts.

Opposing pitcher Chris Lambert went seven deep and gave up both Pawtucket runs. In the first inning, with two outs, designated hitter Chip Ambres doubled... and then crossed the plate when Chris Carter hit a subsequent double. Merry Chip-Chris! (I'm sorry.)

Sean Danielson led off the third inning with a walk (current OBP: .323. Two weeks ago: .258. Okay, I made the last one up. I will deduce April OBP v. May OBP soon!)

So, Danielson at first via walk. His April OBP was .208. Thus far in May, it's been .438! Danielson had only one walk in April. So far this month, he has 9 walks. Can you tell that I love Danielson?

Van Every grounds out next, advancing Danielson to third. And a Chip Ambres sac fly brings him home. MVP! MVP!

Bottom of the ninth, Pawtucket ahead two-zip. Sex bomb reliever/new closer Fernando Cabrera comes in and does something very, very naughty: He allows Mike Hessman to immediately homer off him (HESSMANIA!!!). Cabrera is a very bad boy!

With nobody out, mysterious outfielder Don Kelly squirts a single over to right. Thousands of Toledo fans have their hopes restored. Kelly steals second. The crowd stirs, begins to rumble and cheer. Can you hear the drums, Fernando?

Next batter, Ryan Roberson (who needs a haircut, thank you very much). Roberson strikes out! Pitching coach Rich Sauveur comes out for a chat... rrrowr! Cabrera sacks up, strikes out Dlugach AND Dusty Ryan to end the game. And that is why he is hot - because he's fly.

don kelly, please believe me. i'll never make it alone:
1. Don Kelly is 29 years old. He was drafted by the Tigers in 2001 (8th round). He's from Pennsylvania.
2. Don Kelly's an infielder playing the outfield.
3. His brother-in-law is Pirates prospect Neil "Margin" Walker.
4. DK has had a couple of cups of coffee with the Astros and the Pirates.
5. Don Kelly went to Point Park College.
6. Don Kelly believes the lord has a plan for him. Oh, dear.
7. Don Kelly once had to be hospitalized after being hit in the head by a relay throw. The Lord was hoping he'd recognize the plight of underpaid nurses, I'll bet.

That's it! Early game in Toledo tomorrow, 10:30 a.m. For the kids, see.

Michael Bowden knows what you want.

You want innings? You've got 'em. Bowden gets into the eighth, tops off at 98 pitches.

You want strikes? You got 'em. 67 strikes.

You want minimal offensive damage? One run on four hits.

Michael Bowden knows what you want.

Pawtucket wins, 9-1 yesterday.

two things:
1. Leadoff batter and right fielder Sean Danielson, 5-6 with a home run and 2 RBI.
2. Travis Denker, 0-5 with two K's. Pawtucket gets 20 damn hits and you can't even single?
3. Randor Bierd is here!
4. Bowden faced 27 batters. More than half of them (14) flied out. Flew out. Whatever, Van Every was exhausted by evening's end.
5. McAnulty doubled and homered.
6. Clippers pitcher Todd or Josh or something Cassel is Matt Cassel's brother. He also gave up 15 damn hits in five innings. Oh, he also made an error. Tough night, kid.
7. JACK Cassel, okay?!

Game on right now, and I will handle that shit for you.


behold the mermaid

Former PawSox great Beau Vaughan has a blog which is almost as cool as mine. I think.

In his latest post he interviews Daniel Bard and really drives home the fact that Bard looks like Napoleon Dynamite/Jon Heder.

So it's not just me.

Bard up, Javier Lopez likely gone. Lopez was in Pawtucket for a good chunk of time and I barely remember it.

5.10.09 Pawtucket @ Columbus - is it just a waste of time?

Pawtucket loses? Who pitched this thing? Final score 4-1 and Charlie T. Zink is the loser.

Daisuke Matsuzaka was the starter yesterday, and once again Zink came in for long relief. That is a serious bummer for Zink and it is clear no one cares about him at this point.

I'm skipping over Daisuke because I'm sure everybody, everywhere's all over it. Zink, in his 2 1/3 innings of work, managed to walk five batters without hitting any of them. 67 pitches and only 29 strikes. Fatass Wes Hodges also popped a two-run homer off Zink in the seventh and it's all just too depressing.

Inning 5, Columbus: Zink immediately walks shortstop Andy Cannizaro (two n's, one z, one r) to lead off the inning. And then Michael Brantley. Uh-oh... sexxy pitching coach Rich Sauveur comes out for a chat, which doesn't seem to help because Zink walks the next guy, Trevor Crowe.

Now the bases are loaded. No outs. All of the runners have been walked. Wes Hodges, who is probably not at all fat, sac flies Cannizaro home. AND THEN ZINK WALKS MIKE AUBREY!!! Oh my god.

The next run comes in thanks to a Tony Graffanino sac fly. And have mercy, Jordan Brown steps up and grounds out to end the inning.

The sixth inning went more smoothly for Zink, who only gave up a harmless single. However, in the seventh, Zink gave up yet another walk to outfielder Trevor Crowe and the next batter, Wes Hodges (damn) homered.

Whatever. If I were Charlie Zink's parents/wife/best friend/Luis Tiant, I would be soooo pissed off. Zink got the mother of all raw deals here... asking to leave and being told, no, dude, stay, we've got BIG PLANS for you!! Which are what, exactly? Slop innings after Japanese superstars? ZInk has not been pitching well thus far... he is seriously all over the place, and not in a good knuckleball way.

They should just set him free. It's aggravating my keen sense of justice. CHARLIE ZINK'S FAMILY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, TELL HIM TO GET THE HELL OUT!!! NOW!

The Cleveland Indians?
1. Designated hitter Wes Hodges had three out of four RBI for the Clippers. He's not fat.
2. Nice pitching, Columbus starter Zach Jackson.
3. Pawtucket's only run came out of the big, big hands of Van every, who hit a solo home run in the first. Van Every batted second in the order.
4. Sandy Madera has not yet had a hit. This cannot stand.

Tonight! BMOC M Bowden starts for Pawtucket. So enjoy that.



Pawtucket WINS their seventh game in a row! 4-0

By the way, the Clippers are the Bisons of last year, more or less. The lovely and talented Jordan Brown is still Cleveland property.

The suddenly 33-year-old Tomo Ohka started for Columbus, gave up eight hits and two runs in six innings, then went home and got a good night's sleep. Ohka's first mistake was catcher Dusty Brown's single at the top of the second... Brown wound up on second after a wild pitch. Gil Velazquez then doubled, driving in the run.

In the top of the fifth inning, Travis Denker hit a solo home run. It was his first Pawtucket home run... I'm not sure what he was doing before he came to town. Does it matter? It might, someday, if I decide Denker is interesting.

The PawSox went on to score two more runs in the top of the eighth inning, one off John Meloan, one (unearned) off Rich Rundles. Angel Chavez and Sean Danielson should be proud of their RBI singles. Plus Corsaletti got a hit, surprising people like me and Rocky Cherry.

Clay Buchholz pitched pretty deep into the game and was super-economical, tossing a mere 86 pitches through seven innings. Buchholz got 8 Columbus dudes to strike out. Then Rocky Cherry got one out, Chris George got one out... and a heavenly angel came out to the mound and pitched 1 1/3 innings without giving up a hit or a walk or anything. Fernando Cabrera is your number one Pawtucket reliever and is far and away the best looking guy on the team. I know that is highly inappropriate and unprofessional, but I am only human.

You know that dream where you're in bed and they fly in through the window?


So, Jordan Brown turned out to be the only guy who got a hit off Buchholz. Jordan Brown is so cool.

moment by moment:
1. Buchholz mixed in a lot of change-ups... damn, he'll probably get called up sometime! It's too bad more people don't know about this kid!
2. I love it when Pawtucket plays these guys, because they get great blog/press coverage and plenty of material for me to use. Some of the other IL teams get less than zero interest. Tony Lastoria is especially awesome.
3. Oooh, crazy: Pauly Mac went 0-5, Dusty Brown went 4-5! Freaky Friday!
4. The Clippers have now lost six in a row. This may have something to do with Cleveland taking some of their good guys away.
5. Jamey Carroll is rehabbing and allegedly was a hot little fielder yesterday.
6. Gil Velazquez made another error! That's what happens when you're a sinner.

Anyway, gotta run. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.



What I thought was funny about player reaction to Manny was how a few guys talked about how it made baseball look even worse, almost like they give a crap about what baseball means to people.

If it were me... I mean, let's say I'd been a baseball player all my life, starting with tee-ball on up. And it just takes over your whole life, right? By the time I've gotten to the majors, I'm maxed out. If I'm not in the game, I'm working out or conditioning or doing sprints or whatever. Lifting weights. Signing autographs and talking to the press. Fretting about my at-bats or strikeouts or whatever. Worried about my contract and how the hell I'm gonna keep up my lifestyle if I don't get $PAID$ next time around.

I'd think by the time I'm Vernon Wells or Jake Peavy, the romance of baseball and its historical significance and how important it is to so many people...it'd pretty far away from my day-to-day grind.

So I do find it hard to believe that players really care that much about how the fans feel about it.

Except Orlando Hudson. I think he really loves playing baseball and he's still excited about it.


5.7.09 PawSox/Mud Hens Once More with Feeling

Pawtucket wins again, 8-1. Wow, the Mud Hens aren't very good, are they? Detroit, wanna take this?

Your heavenly starting pitcher was righty Enrique Gonzalez. EG pitched into the seventh inning and even though Toledo got nine hits off him, they only scored one run. Again, the team failed to cash in on base runners. The Mud Hens were 1-13 with RISP and left 10 runners on base. And they can hit, too... I guess they are no match for PAWTUCKET POWER PITCHING! (Okay, that was cheesy.)

Jose Vaquedano continues to be a killer reliever. No hits or anything in his one inning. Well, okay, he walked Wilkin Ramirez in the seventh, but come on! That was a strike!

Billy Traber and His Giant Square Head held it down for the remainder of the game.

For Toledo, we got Chris Lambert, who had some time with the Tigers last year (1-2, 5.66). Lambert only made it through three innings before losing his way and walking among the wicked men. I hope he finds God and washes himself in the blood of the lamb!

Lambert's big problems began early. In the second inning, the always delightful Carlos Maldonado led things off with an innocent single. Corsaletti and Denker each hit subsequent singles to load the bases.... with no outs. After Angle C struck out, Iggy Suarez walked in a run.

Next batter: Sean Danielson, who cracked a double to center, scoring Corsaletti and Denker. Danielson's not a power guy, but he gets on base real good. Big Paul McAnulty was up next...and he hit a two-run single. The next two guys got out n' stuff, but there you go. Five runs.

Then, here's the awesome thing: In the bottom of the third inning, Angel Chavez hit a two-run homer. I'm very excited for him. Two home runs in two consecutive games after batting like crap thus far. PANAMA!

As far as Toledo goes... Enrique Gonzalez started to lose it a little bit in the seventh. He gave up a couple of singles, but had two outs when Danny Worth hit a line drive single, scoring Will Rhymes. And that was it. Vaquedano took over and snuffed 'em all out.

i reach down between my legs and ease the seat back:
1. Sandy Madera was 0-5 with a K. I urge him to start hitting!
2. In the sixth inning, Carter tried to stretch a single into a double, but was gunned down at second by outfielder Brent Clevlen. By the way, the substitute Pawtucket PA guy did not pronounce "Clevlen" correctly, which bugged me. He also messed up Gil Velazquez. Come on, now.
3. Van Every's back!
4. Gil Velazquez and Chip Ambres got the day off. Paul McAnulty has played in more games than anybody else... maybe he needs a day off! Or maybe he gets some kinda bonus if he plays x number of games?
5. Travis Denker went 3-3 with a walk.

Tonight! Pawtucket travels to Columbus. Buchholz will pitch against former PawSox legend Tomo Ohka. Yes? YES.


5.6.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Toledo Mud Hens - stranglehold

Dontrelle Willis in MY neighborhood? Nuh-uh! But yeah, there he was! And it was like a beautiful flamingo flying past a beautiful sunset carrying a beautiful painting with its feet.

Dontrelle Willis got himself into the eighth inning, which is pretty decent for a rehab start. Except I guess he's not really injured or in physical pain. Willis gave up two runs on five hits, and any major dude will tell you Angel Chavez' solo home run was the most imp.

Willis struck out four PawSox kids and also walked four. He is rather animated on the mound, let me tell you. It was terrific.

On the flip side, M. Bowden had a no-hitter going into the seventh inning. No one was talking to him. Then, er, with two outs in the seventh... Mike Hessman's at bat and he's crazy dangerous and overdue for a blast... he pops it up! High pop-up behind the batter's box! Bowden, catcher Dusty Brown and first-baseman Paul McAnulty all converge... who will catch it?? NOBODY, that's who!

So Hessman walks and Ryan Roberson's up next and he doubles a run home. Nighty-night, no-no. Bowden was SO MAD, you should have seen it. The defense was making all those balls-out plays (vis: Danielson, Velazquez, Ambres) that tend to go down during a no-hitter. I thank the Great and Powerful Tim Wakefield for pointing that out... during a no-hitter, there will always be that one crazy play that makes it almost a sure thing.

Almost, M. Bowden.

Marcus McBeth and Bard provided excellent relief as usual. No further runs were scored.

Thanks for 2003, Willis and Beckett:
1. Dontrelle Willis was kind of a jerk to catcher Max St. Pierre. After Willis gave up a double to Chip Ambres, he said, "HEY! HEY! Good call!" very sarcastically. And then when the inning ended, on the way back to the dugout Willis said to St Pierre: "That call? Come on, man." Dude. He's a minor league catcher from Quebec. Get over it.
2. I generally don't have much to say about Bowden, but his performance was remarkable and it was neat to see him take it so seriously. I hope he's not too hard on McAnulty.
3. Bowden crash landed by first base when McAnulty crap-tossed a ground ball over to him in the fifth inning to get Will Rhymes out.
4. Angel Chavez hit his first home run of the season! I think everyone likes Angel Chavez.
5. Sandy Madera is back. How sweet it is.

This could be the greatest game I'll go to all year. Special thanks go to myself for making all the arrangements, to ME for getting some potentially deadly photos, and to I for all transportation/catering.



Pawtucket Red Sox Offense: Remember Ken Huckaby? Michael Tucker?

Through 24 games, Pawtucket's averaging 3.458 runs per. Does that sound low? The Red Sox have also won three games 1-0. And it's only early May.

Jeff Corsaletti's batting .074 in ten games. He has ZERO extra base hits. But he hasn't played much...

Jeff Bailey's currently leading the team in home runs with four. And he's been in Boston for two weeks. Chris Carter is batting .386 with a .413 OBP in ten games.

Guys batting below .250 include: Velazquez, McAnulty, Sean Danielson, and Dusty Brown.

Angel Chavez, Ivan Ochoa, and Travis Denker are all batting below .200.

Pawtucket's starters have a combined ERA of 3.50. The bullpen has been BANGIN' (combined ERA 2.22). Cabrera, Bard, Vaquedano and McBeth should start a gang called the Purple Slushies and push people around because they are so tuff.

In summation, it's probably too early for this stuff. But I didn't do it for you, I just did it to feed my own curiosity.

5.5.09 Red Sox v Mud Hens - with kill


Pawtucket's starter was Matsuzaka from the big club and you can read about it anywhere. I popped into the park quickly after he'd finished for the night. It was pretty quiet.

Charlie Zink came into the game after DM and just. Kept. Going. Every inning he came back out and I thought, no one really cares about this game if they're leaving Zink out there in a 1-0 game. But to my surprise, Zink pitched 4-plus innings and did not allow any runs.

Stupid me, I left right before fly honey Fernando Cabrera came in so I didn't get to see his four strikeouts in 1 2/3 innings.

Chris Carter went 3-4 with an RBI. Rocco Baldelli was 0-4 with 3 strikeouts. BOOOO!

That's all for tonight. Dontrelle Willis and his free-floating anxiety tomorrow. I'll be there... will YOU?

Bobby Scales will be happy.

Bobby Scales has finally been called up by the Cubs and has gotten into his first major league game. What's more, he's gotten his first hit and was batted in.

I don't mean to get too corny, but Bobby Scales was one of my all-time favorite PawSox guys. He didn't come across like your average dumdum baseball jock. I'm very happy and very proud.


Sexy Sandy... what have you done?

Noted fashion photographer and wonderfully pretty slugger Sandy Madera is off the DL and may give Pauly Mac a break at first base.

Jeff Natale is on the DL with... something. Jeff Natale. There is nothing exciting about Natale. I guess that's good, right?

Zach Daeges is in Florida. Randor Bierd is there, too. Yes, I found Randor Bierd. He is working on his arm strength.

Is this real life?

5.4.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Toledo Mud Hens - never trust a lefty

Pawtucket wins again! 2-1!

OG and left-handed thugg Kris Johnson got into the sixth inning. Johnson gave up only one run on four hits, a weak-ass solo homer hit by DH Ryan Roberson. What, no Mike Hessman?? No HESSMANIA???

Rocky Cherry and Chris George combined for hitless, scoreless relief. Daniel Bard figures in somewhere as well, but the real story here is Chris George. CG had like the worst headache ever and still pitched 2/3 of an inning with 2 K's.

Lucas French is a massive 22-year-old lefty. He only gave up two runs in seven innings but I guess that was enough. In the bottom of the third, Rocco Baldelli sac flied Travis Denker home. Denker had singled, advanced to second on an E7, then skipped over to third on a Danielson single.

Catcher Dusty Brown led off the bottom of the fourth with a double. Was it a scorching double or a fat, lazy double? I wasn't there. All the box says is 'fly ball to center'. Do you think I could call the ballpark and ask to speak to Dusty Brown?

Getting back to it... Angel Chavez grounds out and advances Brown and Gil Velazquez gets the RBI single. Doesn't that sound exciting?

Toledo relavista Scot Drucker was nails for the final two innings, with no hits and 4 K's, but alas, the Toledo Mud Hens offense was less than clutch. They left 8 runners on base and were 0-10 with runners in scoring position. Mike Hessman blew it twice in that regard. That is really unlike him. And Winchell? Wikki? Wendall? Wilkin? Wilkin! Wilkin Ramirez was both caught stealing and picked off.

two things:
1. Chris Carter, like the computer, made an error. Sean Danielson has something in common with Wilkin Ramirez: They were both picked off and CS. They also both really hate waiting for elevators but are unlikely to take the stairs.
2. Scot Drucker is a starter, not a reliever, but Dontrelle Willis pushed him to the pen. Willis also borrowed his soap and never gave it back.
3. You're not going to believe this, but the rehabbing Rocco Baldelli is from Rhode Island! OMG, that's where I live! Also, Jon Lester HAD CANCER AND BEAT IT!
4. Ryan Roberson's home run was his first of the year.
5. I've been to Toledo, but not the one in Ohio.

I'm pretty sure Julio Lugo's brother is starting for Toledo tonight. Daisuke Matsuzaka is in the house with amped up security. I guess it's too much for Rick to handle! I might stop by later in the game, after DM's gone.

I love you Lucas French!


Red Sox v Braves - What, no Boba Fett?!

Pawtucket WINS! a great game 1-0.

So Gwinnett's Charlie Morton pitched like Beckham, going seven innings and only giving up one run on two hits. Morton had ten glamorous strikeouts and three shameful walks.

Former PawSox great and swell guy Juan Perez finished the game with scoreless relief.

See, what had happened was, Danielson kicked off Inning 4 with a sweet single. A couple of wild pitches later, Danielson was on third base and Chip Ambres batted him in. And that was all it took!

Everyday third baseman Angel Chavez, who I love, hit a double. He was the only other guy with a hit.

1. I thought Mark Kotsay was dogging it to first base, but I just found out he hurt himself or something. He left the game and Corsaletti jumped in.
2. 'Star Wars Day' may have been the coolest thing I've seen all year. I especially liked the guy in the orange suit who was in the x-wing thing with Luke Skywalker but got killed. What was his name? Chet? Ramp? Something.
3. Fernando Cabrera did not pitch. I saw him in the dugout picking his nose... digging in pretty deep... then wiping it on his pants. And yet he is smokin'. HOT.
4. The Braves infielders made another dumdum error when no one caught a pop-up. E1, Danielson reaches.
5. Sandy Madera is still 'injured' and working as the bullpen catcher.
6. Jose Vaquedano continues to be impressive, working a couple of strong, hitless innings. He look great.
7. Former Twins roster stuffing Mariano Gomez is on the G-Braves. I think I said that already. I might also be thinking of Jo Matamura or something.

Tomorrow we open up a series with the Mud Hens at 6pm. Dontrelle Willis is likely appearing in Pawtucket on Wednesday. YES.

I hate you. No offense!

So everyone's been talking about how Pawtucket's got good pitching, but no offense. It's true. McAnulty and Ambres can hit a little bit, Carter should be good when he's around, and that's about it.

As far as some of the new people go, I like Angel Chavez a lot. I like Zach Daeges on g.p. Lord knows I can't get enough Maldonado.

Jeff Bailey looks like crap in Boston. I hope he's prepared for Pure Boston Hatred coming over the airwaves like a bad Bruce Hornsby song. "THEY GOT THIS GUY, BAILEY... WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY? IS THIS THE BEST THE RED SOX CAN DO? WHAT'S HE DOING IN THE LINEUP?!"

Former Pawtucket animal Javier Lopez is 'Public Enemy #1' right now. My advice to him is to start drinking heavily.

My predictions as to who will be gone by summer's end:

Sandy! NOOOO!

and maybe Danielson or Iggy Suarez.

Clearly, I've stayed up way too late. goodnight

5.2.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Gwinnett Braves

Pawtucket WINS! 8-5

Pawtucket scored seven runs in the third inning off Jerome Gamble. The thing is... the Gamble gave up eight runs before getting the hook in the third. But ONLY ONE RUN WAS EARNED! PLASTIC PEARLS!!

Here's what happened in that crazy third inning... first, the easy part. Iggy Suarez, who is still hanging out in Rhode Island, is up first and grounds out. Mark Kotsay, rehab queen, pops out for the second out. Three years ago, if Mark Kotsay had been rehabbing in Pawtucket, I would have lost my fucking mind. I mean, remember when the Oakland A's were exciting? But here and now in 2009, it's not that interesting.

and then:
1. Sean Danielson reaches on a fielding error by SS Diorys Hernandez. Van Every getting work in Boston is win/win, since it's nice to see Danielson out there. And not JV.
2. Paulie Mac is at bat and Danielson steals second.
3. McAnulty walks. Carter up next. Carter has already homered in a previous inning. I didn't see it, but I'll bet it was intense.
4. Carter singles, Danielson hauls ass home from second and McAnulty is left standing at third.
5. Jeff Natale walks, somehow without being hit by a pitch. And now the bases are loaded.
6. Gil Velazquez jumps in and hits a two-run single to center. Velazquez doesn't need you or anyone... the feeling is glorious.
7. Carlos Maldonado is the next batter. Escuche: Maldonado needs to play more. MUCH MORE. I love Dusty Brown and everything but his general competence puts me to sleep. Brown does a good job and I have nothing to complain about. Do you know how difficult that is? I'm not happy without petty insults to toss around. Besides, Carlos Maldonado is so interesting-looking. Like a titanic toddler.
8. So, yeah, anyway, Maldonado helpfully hits a three-run homer. And I wasn't there to see it.
9. Next guy is Travis Denker and he walks. Denker is still wondering how the hell he wound up in Pawtucket without any toiletries.
10. Jerome Gamble finally gets taken out and replaced by Vladimir Nunez. YES.

And we've gone through the entire Red Sox lineup. So, afresh:
1. Iggy Suarez singles. Denker heads over to second base.
2. Mark Kotsay hits an RBI single to right.
3. Switch-hitting Sean Danielson draws a walk. Bases loaded!
4. Finally, slugger Paul McAnulty comes up again and grounds out.

By the way, Enrique Gonzalez started for Pawtucket and gave up eleven hits/four runs in six innings. Relievers were Fernando Cabrera and Daniel Bard. Cabrera currently has a lower ERA than Wonder Boy. Not only that, but Bard has never inspired a lady to sing an ABBA song.

Gil Velazquez made his fifth error of the year. It is really unlike him, don't you think? Five errors in nine games when he made 11 all told last year. Velazquez was kind of pissed off last year, too, when they stuck him in left and at first a few times.

For the Braves, Barbaro Canizares is still Power Man. He hit a home run off Gonzalez.

See you tomorrow at SWD!


Kris Johnson thinks he's gangsta.

I attended the game last night, but I left early because I was cold and bored and hungry. I wasn't happy to see Charlie Zink pitching, since I've seen him before like infinity. And sure enough, he was all over the place.

The best part was the kid pitching for the Gwinnett Braves. When you see a homely, six-and-a-half foot, 22-year-old righty pitching for AAA you know it's gonna be trouble. And sure enough, Pawtucket got blanked by talented Okie Tommy Hanson (6 IP) and former mysterious Twins reliever Mariano Gomez (3 IP). He's the only other Honduran baseball player I can think of... although, wasn't there one other guy in the Blue Jays org? I'll have to look it up.

On a final note, Jeff Corsaletti dropped the ball twice on one play out in left field. When you have guys like Josh Reddick and Aaron Bates and Reid Engel and, to a lesser extent, Bubba Bell down in Portland... well, let's just say I don't see Corsaletti in town by the end of the year. Not just because of that one play.... anyone can have a bad night. But it just made me realize how useless he is.

See you tonight.