5.21.09 Yankees defeat Red Sox effortlessly!

14-1 SWB. Wow, that's pretty embarrassing.

Kris Johnson: Did not pitch that well. Volcano Vaquedano: Did not pitch that well. Chris George: So-so. Who is this guy, anyway?

Rocky Cherry: Hey, Cherry did very well... one hitless inning!

Javier Lopez: Did not pitch well. Billy Traber: Got one out.

Pawtucket's only run came from Chris Carter's solo shot in the seventh, off Romulo Sanchez.

The Yankees and their obscenely tight pants were all over the bases with ten hits and ten walks. They are all mostly jacked assholes.

Gil Velazquez is back, which is good.

Astonishing True Tale: Some guy was in my seat so I sat elsewhere. A man and a woman sat next to me and somehow the woman's beer got spilled and they fought about this event for two innings.

I changed seats. Behind me were a father and daughter of the perpetually drunk sort. It was the daughter's 21st birthday, but she had the demeanor of a hard-drinking 40-year-old. Although she was only 21, her father said she'd been a bartender for five years... "But that's neither here nor there." Her goal was to date a baseball player: Specifically, Jason Bay. I looked at the Pawtucket roster to see if I could play matchmaker... came down to Vaquedano, Travis Denker, or Danielson.

At any rate, they were pretty entertaining.

1. Hello, Yankees fans. Welcome to McCoy Stadium. I'm sorry that it sucks. I'm sorry the dugouts are weird. By the way, you do know this isn't the real Yankees? If you look closely, that is not Jorge Posada catching. I know it's hard to tell with the face mask. While we're at it, was it really necessary to wear your Yankees jersey all well as the Yankees cap?
2. I was not too happy to see muscle-bound first baseman Juan Miranda. He killed Pawtucket last year and will likely do the same during this series.

Let's just put this game behind us. Tonight: Chien-Ming Wang up against Charlie Zink. YES.

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