The International League killed Drew Sutton dead.

Drew Sutton was on the PawSox in 2011 and last year, 2013. Remember? He hit a good amount of doubles. Yeah, well, he quit baseball. Retired.

Sutton spent some time in the majors, mostly on the Reds.

Sutton's jumping into the restaurant business, opening up some grinder joints in Texas.

He led the PawSox in BB last season. He is from Arkansas. One of his best friends in Ben Zobrist. His father was a marathon runner. He went to Baylor.

Also Nick Natoli retired. I can't believe you don't remember him from that one Pawtucket game where he didn't get on base!


Grady Sizemore does not know what a Van Meter is.

I bring up Grady Sizemore for many reasons.

First and foremost, I expect to see him in Pawtucket at some point. And that is a realistic statement, not a jerk-ass one.

Secondly, when I was in Cleveland I was tossed a free cap that had Sizemore's name and number on it. Bleagh, right? Thanks for the free hat of some player I give two craps about. But, now! I can wear it and everyone will love me which is really all I've ever wanted.

Thirdly, when I was hanging out in the Bob Feller exhibit in this tiny Iowa town, I was on the phone with a friend of mine back home as I told him about all the stuff in the gift shop. One thing he nearly asked me to purchase for him was a ball signed by G. Sizemore.

Evidently, Sizemore is in great shape and everyone is so happy and Indians fans are sad that he's gone and grossed out by the Boston Red Sox.

All of that sounds like bushwa and I say he's pretty much Daniel Nava at this point.


Fat Guys on the Pawtucket Red Sox


Shawn Wooten
Kelly Shoppach
Jim Buckley
Corky Miller
Carlos Maldonado


Matt Perisho
Runelvys Hernandez
Matt Burns
Edgar Martinez
Hunter Jones
Chad Paronto
Boof Bonser

et al:
Wily Mo Pena
Mauro Gomez, sort of.
Paul McAnulty
Tug Hulett (kinda)

I have to stop. Am I a bad person?

Jose Mijares has Manny-like issues.

Everybody loves a left-handed reliever, and the PawSox have got themselves a new one - Jon Switzer!

PSYCH! It's really Jose Mijares, who will join Rich Hill on the RI lefty contingent. IN MY BEDROOM! And in Florida, because they've both been invited to spring training. And I haven't. I should practice reportering.

If Mijares isn't put on the roster after ST, he can split the band and do whatever he wants and see whoever he chooses.

Mijares comes to us from the SF Giants org, which means he'll likely have an uncomfortable conversation with Scott Cousins. Hug it out, bros. Although it's possible Mijares never much cared for Posey anyway? Baseball is complicated.

PS I Love You:
1. Mijares is fat: "Mijares is a limited pitcher. He cannot get righties out, allowing an 818 OPS in his career against them. But as a true loogy, he should be effective. He’s limited left-handed batters to 623 OPS." - Replacement Level Red Sox (blog)

2. "In 2013, Mijares pitched to the tune of a 4.22 ERA but had a 3.05 FIP. His strikeout rate was very good, his walk rate was mediocre, and he didn't give up many home runs. But Mijares gave up 12.3 hits per nine innings with a .410 batting average on balls in play against, both of which were among the very worst in baseball but are out of line with his career numbers, which are much better." - The Mets maybe wanted a slice of Mijares' pie.

3. "I like Javier Lopez, so I'm not going to question his contract, even if Mijares is almost certainly the better value for a team that would use him normally. Not going to lie, though, I'm not exactly distraught. Funny how those memories start chewing on your logic gland." - Mijares was the victim of a SFG roster spot. Javier Lopez probably smells better, anyway.


5. "According to Mijares, police were suspicious about some hair gel in his luggage." - Jose Mijares - Diva?

6. In 2009, Delmon Young and Jose Mijares were teammates on the Twins. Jeremy Bonderman hit Young with a pitch and it really hurt and Delmon Young got up and started yelling at Mijares and they almost fought and somehow Orlando Cabrera was involved. What did I tell you about baseball being complicated?

7. Commenter "Todd" on Baseball Outsider is super eloquent:

I remember when Mijares's name was J.C. Romero, and then a couple of years later he turned into Juan (Walk) Rincon. You could always start yelling at your television screen when they were 2-0 on the count as you knew the best thing for the Twins at that point was for them to fake an injury and get themselves out of the game. It was kind of like watching Billy Gardner continually march out Ron Davis in 1984. His excuse was there was no one else to put in, but after blowing save after save, wouldn't it behoove you to at least try a Lenny Whitehouse, Pete Filson, or Rick Lysander? They actually had a chance to catch the Royals that year. That is kind of how I feel every time Mijares starts an inning with less than a four run lead anymore - ignore the lefty-lefty rule and put in your best pitcher at the moment.

I'm going to go compile a list of fat people who played for the PawSox.


Scott Cousins makes a bad first impression.

God damn, he's got a serious case of asshole face. I suppose I should give him the benefit of the doubt. You know what they say: Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.

Cousins is a 29-year-old outfielder who was drafted by the Marlins in '06. I am going to assume he's married, ladies, although he could be gay. He was born in Reno* and went to University of San Francisco, which I have never heard of. He's never played in the IL before! Betcha Hassan and Brentz are shittin' themselves.

Last year Cousins spent the bulk of the season on the Angels AAA team in Salt Lake City and found it best to strike out all the damn time. Without doing any research I am going to assume he was coming off an injury.

Giants fans may remember Scotty as the dude who busted up Posey's chifforobe in a 2011 home plate collision.  They're still pretty pissed off about that. I suppose the Toronto fans will little note nor long remember a similar incident with Ken Huckaby and Derek Jeter, eh?

Que mas?
1. This headline made me laugh a little: "Scott Cousins Set To Be the Pawtucket Red Sox Starting Center Fielder". Talk about presumptuous! Who wrote that, his mom?

2. Cousins received death threats, allegedly. Come on, guys. Yes, it was a dick move, but Giants fans have never been able to stop fellating Buster Posey.

3. "Scott Cousins represents something bigger than himself. Scott Cousins represents a concept, as many others do too. There are players for whom there's always an argument to keep them on the 40-man roster. At the same time, there's always an argument to kick these players off. Those players on the fringes are interesting in how very uninteresting they are." - Killer article by Jeff Sullivan on Lookout Landing.

4. A good name for a blog about the Giants is "They Most Decidedly Are Giants". It exists, too:

"Look, it’s hard to be a pro ballplayer. You’ve got to have the perfect combination of skill, timing and luck just to get a taste, and as soon as you do you’ve got to be good enough to ward off all the young, skillful, lucky guys coming up from behind. The mere fact that Scott Cousins has taken a big league at-bat puts him in an elite club.

Still, though. Getting designated for assignment three times between the end of the season and Thanksgiving is kinda like being dumped on your birthday while stepping in dog shit and walking in on your parents having a Gangnam Style themed orgy.

Couldn’t have happened to a better guy."

It looks like I'm not going to get much beyond BusterGate. The Big Gray Paper has a lovely defense going, though.

Best of luck in Rhode Island, Scott Cousins! 


Chris Resop will think he's got a paper heart when you start to tear it apart.

Chris Resop's on the PawSox. I'm sure he can find his way around the ballpark, since he's a former IL guy. He played for the Richmond Braves, which is a baseball team that no longer exists. Resop also pitched for the Gwinnett Braves, which is a living, breathing organization that has possibly the world's most irritating PA guy.

Resop was just most recently on the Oakland A's with Brandon Moss and that other guy with facial hair and steroids. Would you like to dive into Resop's journey into Oakland? I did, and I'm a better lady for it! Alex Hall wrote "The Curious Case of Chris Resop" over there on Athletics Nation and it's stellar.

¿Que mas?

1. Drafted by the Marlins in '01, minors minors Angels minors, AAA Braves, Pirates, Oakland. It really was just a matter of time.

2. Conor Duffy slaps you upside the head with stats and analysis: "Resop will likely begin the season in Triple-A Pawtucket, and barring a stellar performance with the PawSox would probably not even be one of the top five pitchers promoted to Boston."

3. Resop pitched a little in Japan: "Even though he gets the ball low, he doesn't seem to do a great job of using his height, as it seems that he isn't very upright at the time of release, perhaps having a bit of arm drag (though it could be overstated, as he still does an adequate job of staying upright)." - Clint Hulsey, from IR Fast

4. "Chris Resop likes sushi. Chris Resop has had a goal since I was a little kid, and that was to play Major League Baseball. It wasn't to play in the NPB. I did that, and it was a situation where I had to go. I was in a situation where I was with Atlanta, and I had been designated, and I was sent to AAA, because I had to accept my first assignment, and I'd been down there for about three weeks, and had been out of the bullpen, threw the ball real well, and I was in a hard place, because they had two more years of minor-league rights for me. So if I'd stayed with Atlanta, I would have been just another AA/AAA guy for two more years and there's nothing I could do about it." - Great interview from a couple of years ago, Charlie Wilmoth. 

So, there you have it, new Pawtucket bullpen guy. Although he could start, maybe, because that's the bush leagues for you. Or Jonathan Van Every could pitch.


Rich Hill is the mystery of the quotient.

Masshole Rich Hill's been signed to a minor league deal by Boston. He'll be the springtime of my loving.

"The deal is reportedly worth $480K, should Hill make the big league club, and also contains roughly $500K in incentives. The deal includes two opt-out clauses, falling on May 15 on June 30. If the former fourth-round pick is not on the Red Sox 25-man roster on either of those dates, he may elect free agency." - Jacob R Misener

The lefty reliever pitched in 10 PawSox games in 2011, with a 1.12 ERA, 18 K's and only 5 walks.

In 2012, it was 8 games, another 1.12 ERA (!) with 10 K and 2 BB.

What a nice job he did, said Craig Breslow and Javier Lopez.

Rich Hill is great, but I'll bet he could never make mashed potatoes like the ones I did last night.

Furthermore, I am the champion of my fantasy football league. Not Rich Hill, me. I'll bet Rich Hill has never been champion of his fantasy football league. WHAT NOW RICH HILL.