Everybody loves a left-handed reliever, and the PawSox have got themselves a new one -
Jon Switzer!
PSYCH! It's really
Jose Mijares, who will join Rich Hill on the RI lefty contingent. IN MY BEDROOM! And in Florida, because they've both been invited to spring training. And I haven't. I should practice reportering.
If
Mijares isn't put on the roster after ST,
he can split the band and do whatever he wants and see whoever he chooses.
Mijares comes to us from the SF Giants org, which means he'll likely have an uncomfortable conversation with Scott Cousins. Hug it out, bros. Although it's possible
Mijares never much cared for Posey anyway? Baseball is complicated.
PS I Love You:
1.
Mijares is fat: "Mijares is a limited pitcher. He cannot get righties out, allowing an
818 OPS in his career against them. But as a true loogy, he should be
effective. He’s limited left-handed batters to 623 OPS." -
Replacement Level Red Sox (blog)
2. "In 2013, Mijares pitched to the tune of a 4.22 ERA but had a 3.05 FIP.
His strikeout rate was very good, his walk rate was mediocre, and he
didn't give up many home runs. But Mijares gave up 12.3 hits per nine
innings with a .410 batting average on balls in play against, both of
which were among the very worst in baseball but are out of line with his
career numbers, which are much better." - The Mets
maybe wanted a slice of Mijares' pie.
3. "I like Javier Lopez, so I'm not going to question his contract, even if
Mijares is almost certainly the better value for a team that would use
him normally. Not going to lie, though, I'm not exactly distraught.
Funny how those memories start chewing on your logic gland." - Mijares was the
victim of a SFG roster spot. Javier Lopez probably smells better, anyway.
4.
NO JOKE, FOLKS:
PHOTOS PROVE MIJARES IS SAD, FAT.
5. "
According to Mijares, police were suspicious about some hair gel in his luggage." - Jose Mijares -
Diva?
6.
In 2009, Delmon Young and Jose Mijares were teammates on the Twins
. Jeremy Bonderman hit Young with a pitch and it really hurt and Delmon Young got up and started yelling at Mijares and they almost fought and somehow Orlando Cabrera was involved. What did I tell you about baseball being complicated?
7. Commenter "Todd" on
Baseball Outsider is
super eloquent:
I remember when Mijares's name was J.C. Romero, and then a couple of
years later he turned into Juan (Walk) Rincon. You could always start
yelling at your television screen when they were 2-0 on the count as you
knew the best thing for the Twins at that point was for them to fake an
injury and get themselves out of the game. It was kind of like
watching Billy Gardner continually march out Ron Davis in 1984. His
excuse was there was no one else to put in, but after blowing save after
save, wouldn't it behoove you to at least try a Lenny Whitehouse, Pete
Filson, or Rick Lysander? They actually had a chance to catch the
Royals that year. That is kind of how I feel every time Mijares starts
an inning with less than a four run lead anymore - ignore the
lefty-lefty rule and put in your best pitcher at the moment.
I'm going to go compile a list of fat people who played for the PawSox.
Drew Sutton was on the PawSox in 2011 and last year, 2013. Remember? He hit a good amount of doubles. Yeah, well, he quit baseball. Retired. 
