12.10.2014

away from me and toward everyone else, which I hate

This is not good news. Or is it the best news?

I think Boston buying Pawtucket would kill me and maybe kill McCoy Stadium, which is part of me as much as concrete and steel can be part of blood, tissue, and hair. And cartilage. And stomach lining. And ear wax, whatever the hell that is.

And then what's going to happen to Tamburro and Schwechheimer?

I feel like step one of Corporate Takeover is EVERYTHING IS GOING TO COST MORE.

And... Hey, do you remember what my tipping point is? The one thing I said would make me turn my back on Pawtucket forever? DO YOU RECALL THAT SIMPLE SYMBOLIC THING?

The french fries. Change the french fries and I will burn it down to a cinder.

I'll be back later. I have a lot more to say but today I cannot.

12.03.2014

je suis desolee

It's hard to find in a bleak, zig-zag city like Woonsocket, but there's a sand-colored church on a hill on a one-way street that has an unrealistic view of everything. You can see Providence and the bay and the slow, white sailboats like the ones on the quarter.

You have to be careful where you park because the priest keeps close watch. Next to the church is an old building with a bad steel bridge behind it. I would not recommend driving over it.

Nearby the mill houses are empty and blackened. The factory is no longer in use, but the bitter smell is still there. Like welded metal. It was a toxic avenue that they really would like everyone to stay away from. I did not think people died in those houses, but in the 60's there was some kind of chemical incident in the big brick factory, one of those old employers that kept families fed.

On sunny days on the weekend, families come over from Massachusetts (Blackstone, Millville, Uxbridge, Bellingham) to see the view, which dazzles, and the modern ruins. It hurts and it draws you in. You can't conceive of it. You can't even photograph the story. Well, I can't. Maybe you can.

In the days of ironworking and textile weaving and lunchpails and overalls, the men played 19th century baseball. Mill versus mill in Woonsocket, giving birth to people like Nap Lajoie. The Comets played at Island Park. It's the projects now, where telephone poles break and wires dangle by metal siding and the repairs are not a priority, because it's the projects.

Sleek, smart people don't like going to Woonsocket, a perfect example of entropy. I can see it fraying and fading and one day it will break apart from everyone, an ice floe, and drift north until it melts away entirely. Do you know who will be carried away?

No, you don't, because you've forgotten them already.

11.13.2014

let's go

Today I'm going to CT, even though Connecticut is a terrible black hole.


11.02.2014

you poked my heart

Please try to be a better bartender, asshole.

10.07.2014

I forgot how to walk

I took a good, long look at Madison Bumgarner and didn't feel much.

I did enjoy the KC center fielder.

Why don't they let African-Americans play baseball any more?

9.29.2014

A Few Lines from "Infinite Jest"

"'The girl's name's Tina something and she'll come up to about your knee.'

'Echt,' Avril said, looking at something on a printout.

Hal looked at her while she chewed. 'You don't like her already?'

'Tina Echt, Pawtucket. Father apparently some sort of unleavened baker, mother a public relations person for the Red Sox A.A.A. baseball there.'

Hal had to wipe his chin as he smiled. 'Triple-A. Not A.A.A.'"

(related: Squiggy Story)


9.18.2014

Maybe I've forgotten...

Pawtucket reaches championship, is rained on and dies.

Metaphor.

Annual Septemberish melancholy. And nostalgia! Nostalgiacholy? I should have. I should have been there.

Doesn't the baseball season poke its finger into October? I remember Camden Yards in October! No October games this year? What am I going to do?

What I am going to do is go to Fenway next week in mittens for a PBE and hope it soothes me. I suspect it won't be too hard to find tix. I will trade this ugly framed picture of an owl for Red Sox tickets:

Yes, that is my ugly wallpaper from 1963. And technically that picture isn't mine. My landlord hung it in my stairwell. He is now deceased so I suppose I inherited it.

If I don't get tickets for it I will dissemble the picture on live television to reveal what is probably wads of cash hidden in the frame.

Ha, ha.

PAWSOX I WAS ONLY KIDDING!! I LOVE YOU PLEASE COME BACK!



9.11.2014

Devern Hansack is my neighbor.

Devern Hansack pitched for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2007 and 2008. He was my Favourite. And then he disappeared. I assumed he'd returned to his little seaside town in Nicaragua and fired up his lobstering vessel and lived out the rest of his days basking in the sun, growing old and weathered and perhaps working on his memoirs.

WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG! I set up an alert a long time ago, so if Hansack somehow popped up on the internet, I'd get an email. And then nothing more. Years passed.

SUDDENLY! The maid screamed. In my box, a message. And this! Hansack throws out the first pitch at a Sea Dogs game! He looks incredible! And guess what? He's been living in MAINE this whole time! ALL THIS TIME! And I've been to Maine here and there... I'm flabbergasted. Me and Devern could have been kickin it and smokin blunts all summer long. I'll bet he has a deck.

I surmised that Hansack had met a local lady while he was on the Sea Dogs and that he'd wifed up and decided to live the rest of his days in Vacationland. I was right, of course. Further investigation revealed that Hansack was hired by U Maine Farmington as their pitching coach about a year ago.

I'm inordinately amped by all of this. YEAH 39!!!

Let's take a look back at all the witty, incisive stuff I said about DBH:

1. Did Devern Hansack intentionally peg Mariano Rivera with a baseball at Fenway? Eric Gagne says so. And Eric Gagne never lies. Does anyone remember this story? How fucking old am I, anyway?
Eric Gagne, LOL.

Maybe some pictures instead?


8.29.2014

might

I might go to the PawSox game on Labor Day.

I still love you.

6.04.2014

6.3.2014 Pawtucket @ Durham - Catcher Interference

Durham Bulls win, 5-2, and they are the AAA affiliate of Tampa Bay. Bulls reliever Adam Liberatore gets the win, even though I think he's related to an umpire? Loss goes to lefty starter for the Red Sox Chris Hernandez.

Hernandez pitched 5 1/3 innings, gave up five runs on four hits. Only two runs were earned, though, because Garin Cecchini made an error that maybe cost Pawtucket the game.

Nate Karns started for Durham. Karns pitched five innings and gave up a run. That was when Pawtucket tied the game. The thing that happened was that Corey Brown hit a solo home run. I may have mentioned that before. And then Hernandez was 1-2-3 at the bottom of the fifth.

So, what the fuck happened? Shut up for a second and I'll tell you. First of all, minor league games tied at 1-1 in the fifth seldom remain that way. Dewon Brazelton and Jeff Suppan were not on the mound, okay? Sixth inning, Christian Vazquez and Travis Shaw hit back-to-back singles to get things heated up for Pawtucket. Vazquez scored on a groundout, and the Red Sox pulled ahead 2-1.

Bottom of the sixth, Hernandez led the inning off by hitting Robby Price with a pitch. Robby Price parks like an asshole, so he probably deserved it. SS Hak-Ju Lee followed with a line drive single. And then RAY FREAKING OLMEDO sac bunted. And he reached!

Bases loaded, no outs for a possibly sweat-drenched Hernandez. I'm just saying, it was 84 degrees at game time. RF Justin Christian reached on a force attempt, boner by Cecchini, Price scores. Center fielder Mikie Mahtook hit a fly ball to right, caught by Brown, Lee tags and scores.

PITCHING CHANGE! Chris Resop gets in the ring to face Jayson Nix. Christian steals second, Nix sac flies, Olmedo scores. Then jerkface Cole Figueroa hit an RBI double. The fans must have been eating this up.

Resop finally got the last out, but Pawtucket was unable to do anything with CJ Riefenhauser or Kirby Yates. DAT NINTH INNING THO. The bases were loaded with only one out, partially due to a catcher interference thing. Wish I could have seen it. But Yates got Betts and Cecchini out to end the game.

Oh yeah Mookie Betts is on the PawSox now so adjust your confetti output accordingly.

two things:
1. Ray Olmedo! Olmedo has spent more than TEN YEARS in the International League. That has to be some kind of record. I'll bet he knows all the Fort Mill hotspots. I wonder if he still talks to Yurendell de Caster?

2. "The hottest pitcher in the Rays organization right now just might be Nate Karns. He entered his outing against Pawtucket with a 1.39 ERA in his previous five starts, striking out 31 while walking just 12 in 32.1 innings pitched." - Robbie Knopf, Rays Colored Glasses. That's right, his hands are never cold.

3. Jeremy Kehrt pitched, so his mom is probably pretty excited about that.

4. Kirby Yates was the 2013 minor league pitcher of the year for TB. I'm not capitalizing that.

5. Here's Rick Medeiros. I like his blog. I realize that now you won't think I'm cool.

TONIGHT! Probably the Babyfaced Killer. Chad Gaudin goes for the Bulls.

(hahaha)