Kyle Evered is not a professional baseball player.

Years ago, I got a bobblehead at a CT Defenders game that was Kyle Evered. He's a smiling brunette with a bat in his hands. I thought nothing of it, really, except that it was a cute souvenir. I hadn't heard of him, but that didn't mean much. Some people have never heard of Olmo Rosario, either, and boy do I feel bad for them!

So Kyle's been on my computer desk since then and recently I wondered whatever happened to him. I figured I'd look him up, do a little research. EXCEPT KYLE EVERED DID NOT SEEM TO EXIST. No stats, no player pages, no encyclopedia entries. Weird, right? Maybe he was on the Trenton Thunder or something? No. Nothing.

Turns out that Kyle Evered is just some kid who won a contest where they make a bobblehead out of you. I'm not disappointed, though, because if this kid ever makes it to the big leagues then my bobblehead is worth ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

I also have a Heidi Watney mini b'head that doesn't look much like her. Watney got a bad rap, but some people have ludicrous expectations for a TV personality/sideline reporter. You were expecting Woodward and Bernstein-level reporting? AS IF TOM CARON IS PERFECT AND EXCELLENT AND GRIPPING. Tom Caron sucks, okay? He lacks substance, passion, and ambition. People dig him, though. Maybe because he's not that cute.

I certainly hope Watney remembers to keep herself covered up, because if other people in the industry harass her, then it's completely her fault. WITCH.

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