Damn, I am rusty. Do safecrackers lose their touch if they put their life of crime on hiatus? Because I'm pretty sure I can open a safe or two. I still don't want to write about Papelbon, but that has to happen sooner or later.
Good news, ladies: Drew Sutton is returning to Pawtucket! Don't get any ideas, though. Sutton is probably not down to clown, since it's family first with him. Unless the old saying is true.
Mitch Maier was also picked up by Boston. Maier is an outfielder and he's 30 and he comes from the Kansas City org. He's a brunette... A little on the scatback side but oh, sexy.
Mayhap you've never heard of Terry Doyle. Formerly White Soxy, now Red Soxy. Doyle is a righty big-boy pitcher from Concord, MA, which means he has access to some killer apple cider. Unless he's from Rhode Island, which could also be true because Ben Hill never lies.
Please also welcome relief pitcher Oscar Villarreal.
I'm opting not to get too in depth with these guys, because I've seen many minor-league signings evaporate. Scott Patterson for example. That dude with the red hair, Adam something. Bernero!
RIP Nate Spears, alleged bestie of Jose Iglesias.