LD tears me up.

Okay, it was cute and everything with Lenny Dinardo in 2005 and he seemed like a decent guy but I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY FUNNY BRINGING HIM BACK!!!!!! When I first heard this I was annoyed to the brink of being angry. I'm sure a lot of people find this amusing but FUCK A LOT OF PEOPLE!!!

Who's coming back next, JIMMY SERRANO?! How many five-inning starts of lefty slop am I going to have to endure?! I can't take it, I can't. Maybe if I squint I can pretend it's Barry Hertzler. And gas costs like $4.00 a gallon, a new Pope is coming, the BTK killer is finally caught, and I'm weeping into my breakfast bagel over the poor people stuck in the Superdome.

No, really, Hurricane Katrina was not funny at all.

In a related story, I hope Carl Crawford endures a rib strain of some kind and has to rehab in Rhode Island. ('Rehab in Rhode Island' ... coming up right after 'Trapped Inside My Own Legs').

What else? The sole source of sexxxy in Pawtucket, Fernando Cabrera, has been snatched up by those pervs in Oakland. They'll RiverCat him, I'm sure, so enjoy it, ladies of Sacramento. And gentlemen, too.

Rich Hill is coming back and really the only moderately cool Pawtucket game last year was one that he pitched. Furthermore, when I saw Hill at the XMAS party I was surprised to see that he is cute as hell. That sort of thing really throws me off, because what if Jeff Corsaletti was adorable all along and I just never paid attention?

I gross myself out sometimes. I have to go watch that botfly video again to shake the image.

I'm so bored without baseball. Merry Christmas.

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