I'm not particularly upset that the yankees got eliminated, it's just that I hate Josh Hamilton. He is the asshole posterboy for the former alcoholic/druggie turned reformed God lover. He even has a book about it. We sell it at [bookstore]. Religious old ladies buy it as often as dumb jocks. I am president of I hate Josh Hamilton fan club.
Hamilton doesn't bother me that much. It's usually people more like Brian Wilson, the "wacky" baseball players. I am generally not a fan of "quirky" jocks, especially since people deem them interesting because of their facial hair or tattoos or maybe they play the guitar in the clubhouse.
You know what would be "wacky"? A baseball player with good taste in music who didn't go hunting/fishing/skeet shooting in the off season. A player who drove a moderately priced hybrid car and made their own delicious beer and married a smart, sensible woman who was never in a pageant. A guy up on current events who supported gay rights and didn't eat meat!
Last year I saw a PawSox player in a pastel Yo La Tengo t-shirt and I was totally stunned. The shirt didn't even have skulls and sequins on it!
In a related story, Freddy Sanchez is 32 years old. That means I must be about ready for senior discounts at buffets and cinemas. Sanchez was real cool on TV the other night because he said nice things about Pittsburgh. We all loved him so!
And how about Aubrey Huff? He looks so hungry and lean. And Aryan.
It's official. I'm rooting for San Francisco.
Post a Comment