Tonight I have the unparalleled honor of an Ellis Burks in Pawtucket feature. Ellis, give to me your leather, take from me my lace. Could you ever love a man like him?
Ellis Burks is an outfielder who played a grand total of 17 games with the PawSox and yet he's got a poster and fuck you, we are talking about this. In 1987, at age 22, Burks batted .225 through 11 games. He did hit three home runs, though.
Burks squeezed five more Pawtucket games into his schedule in 1989 and went 3-21.
And then, 15 years later at age 39, Burks played a June game during a rehab assignment. He only reached base once after being hit by a pitch. WHO DID THAT?? Damn it, why wasn't I doing game summaries back then? Oh, right, because I was too busy fellating Boston. That was a crazy year. Who wants to talk about it with me tonight at the Beer Library?
1. Ellis Burks was a good friend to stolen Pawtucket man Darnell McDonald many years ago, advising him to turn on the jet fuel and hustle.
2. Who is Tim Burks? "Yeah, everyone knows that Tim Burks was the outfielder on the Red Sox in 1986. Unfortunately, he vanished off the face of the earth leaving no records of his existence. Coincidentally, a fellow by the name of Ellis Burks came to the Sox in 1987 with the same stastics that poor Tim had the year prior. Why this wasn't on Unsolved Mysteries is a mystery to me." - posted by "vgp100" on Dee-Nee Forums (AUG 2003)
GAH!!!! I want this picture so bad... Just imagine it up there, leading everything off. See it for real in the first base lobby. Lovers forever, face to face.