Mark Prior was on the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2012. Much like the newspaper box that doesn't accept nickels, I may never get over this.
These are in chronological order, where if more than one player used the number, the last guy to use it goes last. GOT IT?
2 - Tony Thomas, who I believe won the Spirit Award.
3 - Nate Spears. Confession: When I bowled next to Nate Spears, it was the day after he'd been ejected from a game in which Dylan Axelrod pitched. I set my bowling name to 'Dylan Axelrod', totally intentionally and hoped he'd notice. Not terribly mature. Spears did in fact approach me a couple of times, but only to ask how I was bowling. I like to think he noticed.
5 - Pedro Ciriaco. I missed him so much.
5 - Reynaldo Rodriguez, after they stole Ciriaco.
7 - Josh Kroeger. La Pesadilla's back down in Venezuela, pimp-style, sucking down the Vitamin G and living la vida loca. Good for him.
7 - Andy LaRoche. Somehow landed the flawless and doll-like Heidi Watney. Sometimes he drove in runs.
10 - Jose Iglesias. Such a nice boy.
11 - Ryan Kalish. God knows he tried. Let's hope he returns with a vengeance.
11 - Jason Repko.
11 - Andrew Miller, rehab.
12 - Jonathan Hee. I liked the part towards the end of the season when he started to hit a little.
13 - Rich Sauveur.
15 - Junichi Tazawa.
15 - And then Kalish.
15 - Ryan Dent.
16 - Will Middlebrooks.
16 - Mark Prior. Why 16?
16 - Clayton Mortensen.
16 - Borck Huntzinger. Brock, even. Ha.
17 - JC Linares.
18 - Chorye Spoone. Vanished into thin air.
18 - Jeremy Kehrt. Will take his shirt off at the drop of a hat.
18 - Daisuke Matsuzaka. Rehab.
18 - Zach Stewart.
19 - Will Inman.
20 - Rich Hill, rehab.
20 - Billy Buckner.
21 - Justin Germano. Some birds aren't meant to be caged.
21 - Mark Prior again.
21 - Pedro Beato.
22 - Arnie Beyeler, world famous third base coach.
23 - Mike Rivera.
24 - Che-Hsuan Lin.
25 - Clayton Mortensen.
25 - Daniel Bard. Was so surprisingly pleasant at Poster Night that I felt bad about ripping on him all season. Poster Night has changed my mind about many players. It's such a stardust fantasy!
25 - Bryce Brentz. At the Triple-A Championship, Brentz was like that baker on Sesame Street who fell down the stairs all the time.
26 - Lars Anderson.
26 - Josh Fields.
28 - Gerald Perry, hitting coach.
29 - Alex Hassan.
30 - Alex Wilson.
31 - Tony Pena Jr.
32 - Garrett Mock.
32 - Steven Wright.
32 - Danny Valencia.
33 - Daniel Nava.
33 - Dan Butler. Should be 33.5, because he's exxxtra manly. I'M JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYBODY'S THINKING!
34 - Mauro Gomez.
34 - Jeremy Hazelbaker. Hiked his pants up more than any PawSox player I've ever seen. Does not do anything for his beanpole physique.
35 - Ronald Bermudez.
35 - Aaron Cook.
35 - Chris Hernandez.
36 - Ryan Lavarnway.
36 - Danny Valencia.
37 - Mark Melancon. 'Melancon' is French for 'eggplant', right?
37 - Chris Carpenter. Not the one who's an asshole, the other Chris Carpenter.
38 - Brandon Duckworth, who has conversations with cadavers.
38 - Nelson Figueroa. Love Figueroa, but let's face it: Pawtucket lost the championship because he pitched poorly in Durham.
39 - Jose De La Torre.
40 - Andrew Bailey, rehab. Bailey kicked ass during his rehab start.
40 - Mike MacDonald.
41 - Doug Mathis.
43 - Justin Thomas.
43 - Mike Rivera.
44 - Aaron Cook, rehab.
46 - Ross Ohlendorf.
46 - Daniel Bard.
47 - Mickie Jiang, first base coach and Girl Friday. Also held up a full-length mirror in the clubhouse so Nate Spears could comb his hair in front of it while dancing.
48 - Scott Atchison, rehab... ish?
I think I'm only missing Ryan Dent, so if anyone knows what his number was, hit me up.
This only took three goddamn hours. You can't get this list anywhere else, so you know how lovingly I created it. Glad to be of service. (Note: There may be other resources.)
UPDATE! Sitting Still Kelly hipped me to Dent's number, which was 15. She then added, "Also when Wright and Valencia were both there but Lavarnway was gone Valencia wore 36." Which sounds like a Penny Press logic problem. Did Valencia carry a polka-dot umbrella and bring yams to the potluck? RYAN LAVARNWAY DID NOT BRING A DESSERT.
STILL MISSING: IVAN DE JESUS, WILL LATIMER, LUIS EXPOSITO, DARNELL MCDONALD, MATT SPRING, SCOTT PODSEDNIK.
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