DTAMFS

Optioned back to Pawtucket:

Chris Carter, who hit the ball like a mofo this spring. YEAH CHRIS CARTER!!

George Kottaras, who was offensively productive this spring. Stupid jerk.

Craig Hansen, who had sleep apnea surgery yet still sucked. My dislike of Hansen is well-documented in many posts here, so I'll just leave it at that.

Lincoln Holdzkom, who is going to flourish in Pawtucket. He's sort of like an unborn baby who is very close to term. Watch him pop out the chute at McCoy in 2008!

CRAIG HANSEN IS LYING! DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING THIS MAN SAYS! DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY MONEY OR CIGARETTES!

Former Twins catcher Matthew LeCroy has been released by the Oakland A's.

I guess that's how they do it in fast-paced New York!

The Rochester Red Wings begin selling their single game tickets on March 29th. Their first home game is April 11th.

That makes about as much sense as newspaper boxes not accepting nickels.

George Lombard is on the Dodgers.

Former PawSox outfielder George Lombard was fortunate enough to travel to China with the Dodgers. I suggest you check out his video on Yahoo! Sports. You may spot a familiar face walking past in the background toward the end of the video.

Hannahan

Jack Hannahan played for the Toledo Mud Hens (DET) in 2007. He led the International League in OBP!

I just read that he will be the starting third baseman for Oakland.

I also wanted to mention that I did an IL Leaders post a few months ago and mentioned Hannahan. I didn't have to do that. But I wanted to and I did.

So good work, IL'er. Just so you know I did mention your league-leading OBP.

HANNAHAN!

Lou Merloni would hate to lose his teaching job.

Former PawSox great Lou Merloni has retired. He never got that ring.

I'd like to talk about a great Merloni memory I have, but there really isn't one.

At least he didn't release a CD of bad covers of 90's pseudo-grunge.

What's the story, Bryan Corey? (part two)

Two things:
1. Bryan Corey's being scouted by the Orioles.

2. Corey may go play ball in Japan if he doesn't make the majors.

In international news, the guy from the gas company who replaced my meter today was from Colombia. He was a former soccer player but he feels Colombian soccer is a joke! Jose prefers the British soccer teams. Blood and broken bones, gov!

His number one sport? Baseball, which is not big in Colombia. He's from the same part of Colombia as Renteria and O. Cabrera. I encouraged him to take his kids to a PawSox game.

Thank you, Jose!

Mirabelli?

So Mirabelli's been released?

FINALLY!

Assassinate Lincoln!

Lincoln "Sheldon" Holdzkom is back, signed to a major league contract as a free agent. The Phillies had placed him on waivers BECAUSE they'd Rule 5'd him and they didn't want to put him on the 25-man roster.

Curt Schilling was placed on the DL so LH took his spot on the 40-man. This all seems very strange to me, but what the hell.

In other Phillies/PawSox news, former PawSox great Chris Coste has written a book called "The 30-Year Old Rookie". It's his second book and he wrote it ALL BY HIMSELF! I should probably read it.

Chris Coste is likely to be the Phillies' backup catcher in '08. He played first base in the AAA All-Star Game back in '02. And everybody loves him.

Something new about Devern Hansack.

from Strangeland:

"Hansack is too old to have any real hope of further improvement, but those minor league lines translate to at least brief utility in the majors. He still has at least one “option” remaining [he has two], so the Red Sox can shuttle him back and forth between Pawtucket and the majors as often as is necessary in 2008. This flexibility is a mixed blessing for Hansack. It almost guarantees that he will not break camp with the club, beginning the season at AAA, yet it also makes him a prime candidate to be the “first into the breach” if there is an injury in the rotation requiring a DL move. He will get his chances this year, especially if he impresses in Spring Training."

from Ballhype.com:
"Devern Hansack is not the Galan af his comunity, but since he went to play baseball outside his country all the Girls in his comunity want a peace of him, he can get any girl he want in his comunety but only one I sure he would not get, I was investigetin about and her name is Celeste campbell, she is family Lumberto Campbell who she dont cary well with, but she is the most down to earth young woman and will not play in with the game Dever like to play , SCORE and walk all the ahter boys beth that he will not give streike to this bater(Celeste). What make this girl so special ? she is pretty ? smart?

Not so pretty, Not so smart a little of the 2, but she is caractarize as beoutifull person from the inside, a critian but a little liberal about cristian and religion well thats all I could say about this woman for this moment I will investigate more ."

Hansack's been sent back to Pawtucket along with Jonathan Van Every. I am going to have to make a Hansack t-shirt out of old socks or something. Maybe a Nicaraguan flag. I'm hoping he either gets a quick call-up or gets a shot on another team.

Wow, thanks. That's awesome.

Rhode Island is suddenly down a sports radio station. WSKO 790 AM has changed its format. So if you liked the nice local sports thing it had going on, well, go cry to your mama.

I'm kind of disgusted by this, since I can barely stand WEEI. I suppose I could start listening to that crazy Woonsocket station, WOON, eh? They've got a sports show! And they broadcast PawSox games!

They've also got a polka show, Portuguese Beat, Italian music, Western music and poetry (?), and of course, Catholic Mass and Rosary.

1240 AM... check it out!

what's the story, bryan corey?

I have read in two different places that Bryan Corey is probably headed for the Red Sox bullpen this season BECAUSE his number(30) is so low. Are you kidding me? I thought it was the pretty good change-ups he's been throwing.

Corey pitched pretty well v. LAD yesterday and he did a pretty good job in Pawtucket last year. Better than Edgar.

That's all I have. I just wanted to use the awesome title I came up with in the shower.

Take a hike, son.

Ten less at CoP:

Firstly and most importantly, Jeff Bailey, Bearded King of McCoy Stadium, has been sent to minor league camp. JB got 3 hits in 12 ABs. He walked twice and K'd 4 times. Oh, dear. (I had to compile these statistics on my own. WHAT NOW?!) Oh yeah, he was of course hit by a pitch.

Bailey hit a home run in his last game. Yahoo! Sports says it was off "C. Gomez", which would be Carlos Gomez who is not a pitcher. MLB has the more likely "M. Gomez", but there are no stats available for this mystery pitcher.

Never mind. It is LHP Mariano Javier Caballero Gomez! And he is from Honduras! I love Honduras! They donated money for Katrina aid. That is some generosity!

Edgar Martinez and David Pauley were optioned to Pawtucket.

Kyle Jackson and Argenis Diaz were sent to Portland. Oh, they hate that. The Portland weather really screwed with player stats last year.

Also sent to minor league camp: Mike Bowden, Hunter Jones (who is a blood-fisted killer), Justin Masterson, Tony Granadillo, and Gil Velazquez.

Chris Carter Scouting Report (2005)

"Strong kid with loads of BS. Intense player. Massive hips and thighs. Large chest and sloped shoulders. Resembles a heavier Brian Giles. Body will only get worse over time. Not very athletic, limps around whether or not he is injured. Generates tremendous whip and batspeed in swing. Back elbow up and rocks with front shoulders for timing, wraps a bit but bs bails him out.

Bars. Never looks esp. comft. in box. Body drifts ahead of hds but but again he's quick enuf to get thru. Can put wood on any FB. 70 raw power. Can hit ball out to all fields without centering it. First pitch swinger who looks FB. No chance against even avg breaking ball. Doesn't see offspd well out of hand. Inability to hit breaking ball will be achilles heal. At best power will play as strong avg, just has too many holes and flaws in approach to see it playing near his raw. Pitchers who can throw strikes will eat him alive. Anchored @ 1B from a defensive stanpoint as he's too
slow and doesn't throw well enuf to play in the OF any more. Not going to have the bat to play 1B. Will get every ounce out of limited talent and play harder than anyone in league.

Is a AAA bat for me who is good for 20+ HR w/not a lot of avg and a lot more K's as the pitching improves on the way up. Swing has too much going on to have value as power LH bat off bench, rarely see complicated swings w/bench big league bats."

These scouting reports kill me. I hate to reveal my source, but fair's fair and here you go.

goodbye blue sky

Former Pawtucket Red Sox pitcher Scott Cassidy has retired. I can remember Jack Cressand but not Cassidy. D'oh.

Matt Mantei has also retired. Again. He's excited about going home for good:

"I'm cool with it, though. I'm going home to be a dad again. My son doesn't know I'm coming home yet, so he'll be pleased. Plus he's only 5, can't read yet, so he won't read what I'm saying now. It's going to be a surprise. That will be fun."

He's only five. It's going to be a surprise because he's not reading the sports page over coffee and eggs in the morning.

He can't read yet!

Tommy Watkins was excited to play in the majors.

RWB: A question many of us would like to ask: what was the day like when you found out you were getting promoted to the big leagues? I'm sure that for a period of 48 hours or so it's probably crazier than anything we could possibly imagine, with packing your stuff, calling your family and friends, and getting to the airport to get out of town.

TW:" I remember before they told me, a couple of us were in the (batting) cage. They said we have a meeting with about three of us left to still hit. We were like “What do we have a meeting for? We just had a monthly meeting not too long ago.” So we get in and they (Manager Stan Cliburn and Twins GM Terry Ryan) just start talking to us. They said, “One of you guys is going up.” I kind of got light-headed. I didn’t know who they were going to say. After they told me in front of the whole team, I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. I had tears in my eyes, it was just a good moment."

RWB: Who was the first person you saw when you got to Kansas City?

TW: "The first person I saw was Mike Herman, the Twins' PR guy. I went into (Manager Ron) Gardenhire’s office, I set my bags down outside his office and went in to talk to him, and I was kind of scared because I didn't’t know what to expect. After I talked to Gardenhire I came out and my bags were missing, so I didn’t know what happened with that. A lot of guys came over to me and they were happy for me. After that I still didn’t know where my bags were but they were missing for a while. I got a uniform on and went out to hit in the cage, and came back and sat in front of my locker. It was a day game, and Torii (Hunter) came by and said, "You better get out there, the game starts in 15 minutes." And I was like, "15 minutes?" And I went out there and ran a little ...I was ready, but I wasn't ready, you know? I mean, I was terrified and excited all at once. So after the game we caught the bus to the airport, to go to Anaheim. I had my carry-on bag, I wasn't really thinking about my other stuff honestly. So we get to LA, get on the bus, go to the hotel, get off the bus and none of the players grab luggage or anything like that, like in the minors. We get in and Torii's like, "Get ready, we're going to dinner." And I said, "Wait, where's my luggage?" And he said not to worry about it, they would bring it up to the room. It was like magic, all that stuff just gets taken care of."

In other news, the Twins are not a good team this year. I read somewhere that they are projected to finish last in their division and that is just so sad. I could have seen the Twins in Milwaukee, but I chose the Astros. The ASTROS. Just think about that.

The Twins called me the other day but did not leave a message. I'm sure they wanted to commend me on my fine journalism. And guess what? The 'W' on the Twins jersey is just an upside-down 'M'. Go look!

Top Eight Things Deemed Underrated By Brewers Fans

8. spaghetti
7. "Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches - You find me a food that can be made faster, cheaper and more deliciously with more variety."
6. "4 strikes in a row in bowling - Even if you're a really great bowler, 4 strikes in a row still feels really cool to do."
5. record stores
4. orange Tic Tacs
3. mustard
2. Shirley Maclaine
1. "The fact that most everyday thirdbasemen can usually barehand a bunt on the charge, and get the guy at first by a step. It happens all the time, and it is the essence of being a pro, it looks routine."

p. in z.

That was great!

PawSox '08:

Joe Thurston, who I thought was that big first-baseman in the Braves Org., is going to be so cool to see in Pawtucket. Scott Thorman, is that who I am thinking of?

Kottaras had a good night but I still think he sucks.

It turns out Brandon Moss only played first base once while he was in the Dominican. And they're going to keep sticking him there, I guess to torture him. It sure doesn't seem like a versatility showcase. Poor kid.

Jeff Bailey looked bigger. Like he did chin-ups during his break at the Washington paper mill. Unfortunately, he struck out during his only at-bat. I hope he figures everything out and doesn't get K-happy like he did in Pawtucket last year. Also, he has a beard, which does wonders for him. It beats the Jon Lester Patented Hardship Goatee.

Gil Velazquez has a mean, mean face. And mean, mean pride.

Jonathan Van Every! Dan Kolb! Lee Gronkiewicz! Keith Ginter! Chris Carter with unnecessary eyeblack!

Rochester:

Alejandro Machado is still alive! I'm pretty sure he can take down Nick Punto, who must be about 45 at this point.

Other notable Red Wings: On-base machine Tommy Watkins and Garrett "Velvet" Jones. Denard Span started! I'm so glad for him. Chris Basak! STILL!

Normally I avoid using this many exclamation points, but it's a special occasion. I have nothing in-depth to say. I'm just excited, is all. I promise in the future I'll scatter in a few statistical insights.

when it's cold outside

I hate when you're looking at spring training photo galleries and they put in a bunch of shots of people waiting to get autographs. "A lucky fan from Watertown, MA, has their baseball signed by Varitek." So stupid.

When I see the pictures of some player doing infield drills, I'm not thinking, man, I wish I were in Florida so I can see this. I'm thinking, I wish I were a baseball player! I'd love to be running around in the sunshine with a glove on my hand! It's not fair! I deserve it more than these assholes do! I'm a much better person!

But it's about physical ability, of course. So I need to get over it.

Friday night, tomorrow night, me and baseball are going to be reunited. Sure, I could watch the Twins/Sox game with someone else, but I think I need this time alone. It's been a long time, baby.

I'm Matt M and I'm back from the dead.

Former Red Sox great Matt Mantei has emerged from retirement and is now hanging out with the Detroit Tigers, wishin'. And hopin'. Dontrelle Willis makes small talk with him and then turns and asks Verlander, "Who is that guy? Is he with us?"

Good luck, Mantei! In the meantime, please enjoy a picture of his black car. I'm not a car person, so I don't know what kind it is, but it falls under the category of "Assholemobile".

In other news, Cecil Fielder's become a Can-Am manager. When the Atlantic City Surf comes to Brockton, be sure and say hello.

Do they call it Brock-town? Because I'm going to start doing that.