2008 Pawtucket Red Sox Hot Stove Party

I attended the 2008 PRSHSP this morning after having breakfast at Don's Lunch with my fake daughter. And Elvis.

I like home fries.

Everybody came out for this! The kids, the old baseball ladies, the binder guys, your mom. It's Justin Masterson, really. He just draws you in with his talent, which you can see right under his skin and a little bit in his stomach in the shape of a ready-to-burst alien parasite.

Cast member by cast member:

Bill Wanless! Billy emceed the first Q&A in the home clubhouse (RJ, Masterson, and Van Every). A friend of mine tells me that when he calls you on the phone he almost always says "This is Bill Wanless."

Ron Johnson! I asked RJ about Jeff Bailey and whether he'd ever catch again. I thought I might be the only person in space who cared, but RJ said he'd really been trying to talk him back into it because it's his way into the big leagues. He also said they'd gotten back into it a little at the end of the year. I love the end of the year in the minor leagues when half the team's been called up! Anything goes!

Also, RJ's first question from the audience was from a 109-year-old man who told him he looked like he'd lost weight.

Dusty Brown! Dusty Brown was in the batting cage room. I must admit I did not recognize him right away. He's gotten a nice haircut and looks great. I was dying to ask him if he was ready to kick Kottaras' ASS and be the next Mirabelli or whatever but. You really can't do that. But that's what I hope happens.

No further information is available on D. Brown.

Steve Hyder! Hyder's the PawSox radio guy and he emceed the batting cage table (Bowden, Lowrie, Brown).

Jonathan Van Every! JVE's come to us fm. the Cleveland organization. Since he's been in Buffalo all this time, I asked him hhow cold it is in late April. The answer would be "very cold". Dunn Tire Park is right on the lake. It does not get warm until June. So be prepared. This is what he said.

Van Every said he went to junior college and it was easy. He made sure the kids all knew that. "So kids, remember. Junior College is easy."

Justin Masterson is a superstar, a valuable prospect, and a giant douche. If I ever met him at a party and spent maybe five minutes talking to him, I'd walk away rolling my eyes. You just know he probably took copious notes in his 'Dealing with the Boston Media' seminar at BC, because he was rather slick and phony. Pretty nice to my fake daughter, but seriously. Annoying. I feel bad for his teammates. The fans are going to love him, though.

Masterson claimed to have been a straight A student, except he got a B once. ONCE.

Jed Lowrie really impressed me in Pawtucket last year. It was nice to see him. He was dressed like a turbo-preppie privileged Connecticut boy, even though I think he's from Arizona or something.

You drink and drive, you lose. Jeremy Kapstein showed up later in the day. I'm a very busy woman and I didn't have time to talk to him.

Michael Bowden accompanied on the piano.

Bowls of snacks! Every year each room has a bowl of chips, a bowl of pretzels, and a bowl of cheese puffs (or "Jax"). The bowls never become empty! It's amazing!

The Dunkin' Donuts truck! Free samples!

Okay, see you April 3rd!

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