Right-handed crap pitcher Mike Burns has been signed to a minor league contract by the Pirates. Ooooooooh. I hope he pitches in Pawtucket and gets shelled. But only if I don't have to watch that happen because honestly, I'd feel bad. I mean, he's someone's son!
Lefty reliever Javier Lopez has been resigned by Boston, which most people think is a bad idea. Lopez has this weird thing where he's more effective against righties. I only include him here because he did a lot of time in AAA. He may return, I don't know. I bet he'd LOVE that!
Also signed to a minor league contract: righty Ben Howard. So in many ways, Mike Burns never left! HA!
Enjoy your MLK experience.