spring training

People are starting to show up to camp, which is good. It's like a resurrected corpse punching its way through the coffin, through the cold dirt, and you're in the cemetary to fool around with your boyfriend and suddenly an emaciated, bony hand explodes from the grave you're on top of. YEAH! It's a lot like that. YEAH ZOMBIE BASEBALL!

In a related story, baseball players are not looking forward to travelling to Japan. Oh, really, baseball players? Did I hear you lamenting the abbreviated games and practices? Because I seem to recall every single other year that you said "Spring training is great but it lasts too long. You're pretty much ready to go after a couple of weeks."

You think your life is hard? Someone gave me a little glass "Birthstone Bear" figurine. It's a bear holding a heart-shaped representation of my ugly birthstone. Also, the bear has wings. And it's sitting atop a little round mirror. It looks like something you might purchase with Skee-Ball tickets.

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