9.2.10 KANG

2-1 Pawtucket. KANG. I was listening to this radiocast during late innings and wondering... 'Kang?' WHO? Maybe he's saying 'Chang', as in Ray, but I'm acquiring the hereditary hearing loss that's stricken some of my family members. But, yeah, James Kang from Lowell.

So let me get this out of the way: Kang-eroo, Simpsons spaceblob overlord, King Kang. JARROD SALTALAMACCHIA HAS A REALLY LONG NAME, ZOMG!!! I fucking hate you sometimes, conventional media. EVERYBODY RAY CHANG TONIGHT!

Ty Taubenheim! How can you not look at Taubenheim and not imagine what it would be like to have sex with him? (Sorry, Mrs. Taubenheim, but you married a lug.) I mean, he's just so... Big! Taubenheim pitched five innings and got five strikeouts. He also gave up a home run to outfielder Josh Reddick.

Taubenheim started working the sixth innings, but he walked Bell and gave up a single to Bates and so was ushered off to the dugout to wipe his head with a towel and sulk a little. Reliever "Brian Gordon" (that's totally an alias... you couldn't come up with a better name, "Brian"?) faced catcher Mark Wagner, who flew out to left to get Bell across. 2-0 Red Sox.

Righty reliever Robert Coello came in for the sixth inning. Coello pitched two innings and got six strikeouts, which is crazy. Hottovy came in for the eighth, faced two batters and got neither one out, and PawSox fans kissed his ass goodbye. Robert Manuel should have come in, but he's gone north to help prop up a heavily crippled big league team. Instead, Fernando Cabrera and his dwindling repertoire showed up.

Cabrera pitched two innings, gave up a couple of hits, saved the game. And all this while groggy from his nightly nap in the bullpen! Zzzzzzzz....

Ty Taubenheim took the loss for Lehigh valley. Oh, forgot to tell you they were playing the Iron Pigs. The Phillies. The Phuture.

and now it's gone and i hate everything:
1. Aaron Bates went 3-3 with a double. Thank you, Aaron Bates. Do you know how to read?
2. Iron Pigs second baseman Ozzie Chavez went 3-4.
3. Johnson leads the IL in losses with 13. Looks like he's a victim of anemic offense!
4. A far better game summary here. I assume someone like Mike Scandura wrote it, but no one's credited. What's to stop me from saying, "Here's a fascinating game summary I contributed to the Allentown paper"? Who'd even contest that statement?

See you tomorrow.