Overly delayed thanks/congratulations to some temporary Rhode Island co-residents:
Manny Delcarmen! (favorite city: Toronto!) Thank you! Love you, bought your t-shirt! And Manny D's father, Cookie, for being hilarious. He hates Larry Bowa and Papelbon, the latter for stealing his son's opportunites. A guy I know once offered me Manny Delcarmen's digits. I declined. What would I do, call and hang up?
Jacoby Ellsbury, aka Jerkberry! (Favorite leg amount: two.) Congratulations. Way to derail David Murphy's career! My memories of Ellsbury in Pawtucket are minimal, so that's good. Nice job, you animal.
Lurch-like lefty Javier Lopez! (Has a dog named: Ripken.) A lot of people thought J-Lo sucked as a reliever. Those people should try saying it to his face. You can't, because he's kind and sensitive. It would be like kicking a puppy.
Party animal and anti-intellectual Kevin Cash! (Resides: Lutz, Florida.) I would have liked to have seen Mirabelli DL'd and KC taking care of Tim W. Just to see what would happen. And partly because I hate Mirabelli a little bit.
Royce! Clayton! Didn't participate, but everybody loves him. He may or may not be charismatic. He was sweet to his Special Olympics kid and that is enough for me.
Brandon Moss. (Favorite food: spaghetti and chicken stew.) Unoffensive, unoriginal, but POTY in Pawtucket and extra-nice to the fans. A good man.
Clay Buchholz! (Favorite Hobby: Playing guitar.) Call him a glue-sniffing redneck thief if you want, but also call him awesome. Picture him in a silver jumpsuit and grav-boots, because he is The Future.
Jon Lester! (Favorite athlete: Ken Griffey Jr.) Congratulations! I almost forgot about you!
Brian Corey! (Favorite city: Phoenix.) I wish I could have gotten his autograph, but he eluded me. One of my favorites at McCoy.
I think that's everyone. Congratulations 2007 World Series Champions. Jeff Bailey will now own a ring.