Recently I had occasion to use a baseball card... machine. Like those supermarket prize machines you put quarters in? And you twist it and get a bubble with, say, a google-eyed pencil topper? Or a cholo tattoo?
So this one had 2008 Red Sox cards. Fifty cents. And wouldn't you know I get the worst possible card: David Aardsma!
Okay, that was a joke. I really got a Wally card. Wally!
But my anger has completely faded because I just realized something: Mascot baseball cards are going to SKYROCKET IN VALUE. This is because no one keeps them or takes any heed to their condition. Sure, you keep your Julio Lugo card in a climate-controlled glass case, but your Phanatic card? Who even knows where that went?
I know you want to make me an offer on my Wally card.