Is that all you got?
This is some shit, here.
Here's your standard PawSox lineup. Dig those numbers.
1. Adam Stern: .279 OBP, .232 AVG. Weak! Normally, would he lead off? Probably not, but there's precious little alternative. I'll be generous and say he's in a slump.
2. Dustin Pedroia: .368 OBP, .269 AVG. One of your top offensive players. Please don't bring up Eckstein around Pedro.
3. David Murphy: .315 OBP, .273 AVG (slugging .436). DM's been so fresh and so clean in Pawtucket. You'd think he'd rouse the other bats. You'd think.
4. Hee-Seop Choi: .359 OBP, .214 AVG. Choi walks a lot. He's such a big strong guy... wouldn't it be great if he were a power hitter? He always leaves me wanting more.
5. Jeff Bailey: .357 OBP, .254 AVG. Bailey's on-base plus slugging is .855. Sweet. JB's an IL home run leader.
6. Ron Calloway: .380 OBP, .309 AVG. Remember my blind assertion that Ron I. couldn't hit? Well, don't. I hate being wrong. I love you, Ron Calloway.
7. Enrique Wilson: .322 OBP, .253 AVG. Meh.
8. Ken Huckaby: BLEEEAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Please just quit baseball, already. I can't stand it.
9. Alejandro Machado: .369 OBP, .255 AVG. He's getting on base... yeah.
The Professor and Mary Ann:
Luke Allen's off the DL and when I saw him Monday, he went 4-6. Looked pretty good. I still see him striking out a lot, but he'll crush mistakes. He sort of looks like an oversized toddler what with his pudgy physique and baby face. I like making fun of him! Four eyes!
Corky Miller gets half the playing time as Huck. I cannot see how Corkscrew can be any worse. Get him back there!
Trent Durrington plays every single position, which is sort of useful. I guess. His average is like .204, though. I say we kill him.
I have no idea what happened to Rodney Nye.
Got most of these numbers from soxprospects.com. Indispensible.