Jonathan Papelbon is a college graduate.

Former PawSox greats Javier Lopez and Papelbon have both filed for arbitration. The hearings will be sometime in Feb, I think before the 20th.

Pretty boring, right? Well, according to the MLB Collective Bargaining Agreement, there are six criteria considered when making a decision:

1. the contribution of the player to his team
2. the length and consistency of his career contribution
3. the player’s past compensation
4. comparable baseball salaries
5. the existence of any physical or mental defects on the part of the player
6. the recent performance of the club (including but not limited to league standings of the team and attendance)

Seems pretty reasonable and routine. Papelbon might be in trouble when it comes to number five, though. I think he is functionally retarded. I'm almost not kidding. It makes me angry to think he's got a college diploma and I dropped out. Clearly, there is no way this kid passed on his own merit. Furthermore, I refuse to believe that JP is more intelligent and educated than I am.

Javier Lopez is a tougher case to argue.

If you're fascinated and prepared to handle charts, graphs, and formulas, check out this economic professor's paper on the subject.

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