I am about to get introspective, which is one of my worst habits. I even wrote on my computer monitor "NO EMO!" to try and discourage myself from getting all, um, emo. I also wrote my checking account routing number, which comes in handy when paying bills.

You know the song 'Unchained' by Van Halen. Of course, it's a great song. I happen to love it and it is the perfect song that won't ever be played loudly enough on your car stereo unless you get a custom install and who can afford that? It's interesting, lyrically, the way the chorus flips "change" and "unchained" so they're kind of similar-sounding in an almost confusing way. The song could just as easily been called 'Change'. Right? Ain't nothing stays the same.

My point is this: I'm wondering if I should just chuck everything and do it all differently. You know, try and turn myself into some kind of media mogul. Self-promote. Slick it up a little.

Wait... No, I really don't want to do that. I like everything the way it is. Mostly. I'm not going to sell myself out for anything!

But that's kind of stupid because I've been doing this for six years with nothing to show for it but Blogger's Ass and a keyboard full of bagel crumbs.

NOT TRUE! I have six archived years of excellence. True, sometimes I read old posts and I don't always remember what the hell I was talking about. I have had to put some really odd non sequiturs into search engines (it's usually some forgotten song lyric.) And, yes, I am still really stupid about baseball.

But what if I just made some cool stickers and put them on telephone poles and toll booths and phone booths and transformers and school books and log cabins? Because the 90's are long over, is why. What am I, Shed?

I think mostly I am just surprised that I am not world famous. I have way too much swagger for someone of my low social standing. And I love all of this. Ask anyone, it's all I talk about.

Wait, you know what? I don't wanna be famous! Then you have to talk to people all the time... Answer questions... God, who wants to do that? I deal with enough of that shit at work. People piss me off. Except when I love them, which is really almost always.

Yeah, I think I'm not going to change anything.

Rank these Van Halen songs:

1. And the Cradle Will Rock
2. Everybody Wants Some
3. Panama
4. Unchained


Jere said...

First of all, I always thought he was saying "Chained! Nothin' stays the same, un-Chained!"

Second (of all), I also want to but don't want to be famous. I've decided I would really, really, really like to be super-famous for exactly one day. I'd be all nice to everyone, take pictures with them, record their voice mail message, invite them in for a meal like John Lennon did in that one movie, etc. Then the next day I'd go back to that incredible luxury of being able to walk around, grocery shop, go to an event, etc., with total anonymity, something I think we non fames take for granted.

Thirdly (of all-ly), Van Halen song ranking, woohoo! I love being able to participate in a music thing, because usually it's like "name your bottom 5 drumbeats in songs by people who've played with Ben Kweller or Ben Harper or Ben Folds or Ben Lee and I just have no idea. And honestly, I don't even know too many "deeper cuts" by VH, but you've listed some popular ones, so here we go:

1. Panama
2. EWS
3. Unchained
4. ATCWR (too slow)

Okay, I thought I'd really describe why I like or don't like each, but all I could come up with is that ATCWR is too slow. Not even the "junior's grades" line can save it for me. Let's put it this way: Panama's the only one I'll leave on if it comes on the radio--unless I've been flipping around too much, then I'd leave on the next two, but ATCWR has to go regardless.

Jenks said...

I agree, sort of. 'And the Cradle Will Rock' would also be last on my list. Right now first might be a tie between 'Panama' and 'Unchained'.

Jere said...

Yeah, eff the Cradle and it's slow rocking!