Smoke 'em if you got 'em: Pawtucket wins

So I'm bringing this game to completion. Back to you, Scott Atchison.

Top of the ninth, CF Kirk Nieuwenhuis doubled to to left and Lucas Duda singled to put two runners on with one out. Oh, don't you worry about that, because Justin Turner grounded into a double play.

Why don't we skip to the tenth? I have much work to do. Jose Iglesias led off with a single, stuff stuff stuff, uh... Words... Words... I hear you calling... Oh baby, pleeeeeaaase...

Daniel Nava, RBI single, done. Good night and let's go.

I'm so in love with you.

4.16.11 Pawtucket Red Sex v Buffalo Bisons - Talk About Love

Have you noticed that Pawtucket and Buffalo have been seeing a lot of each other? I think they're secretly bangin'. At any rate, this game was a pretty long dry hump with no release. Tied at one in the ninth and rained out.

Your Red Sox starting pitcher was Mister Brandon Duckworth. Duckworth should be proud of his start, as he went long, hard and deep into the seventh inning... 6 2/3 inches innings in all. He kept the Bisons scoreless until the seventh, getting hoisted off the mound after Justin Turner singled. Okajima inherited Turner, who scored when pinch hitter Zach Lutz doubled.

Duckworth also struck out six and walked a guy. Not bad.

Righty Chris Schwinden (Not Fossum) started for the Bisons. He struck out nine batters through five innings. Wonderful. Schwinden's only run came in the fifth inning, when Tony Thomas led off with a triple to right and then scored on an error by second baseman Luis Hernandez.

Taylor Tankersley, Jose De La Torre, and Justin Hampson combined to provide scoreless relief. Atchison was coming in to pitch for Pawtucket, but the game was called before he threw a pitch.

bzzzzzzzzzzz:
1. Chris Schwinden was called up from double-A and this was his triple-A debut. So hot. I know you wanna fuck him.
2. Drew Sutton struck out three times.
3. Way to squander, squanderers! "The PawSox squandered a scoring opportunity in the eighth, failing to score after getting a man to third with none out. Ryan Kalish reached first after his pop-up down the left-field line was ruled an error off the glove of Bisons shortstop Ruben Tejada. He moved to third on an errant pickoff attempt by Herd pitcher Jose De La Torre. The Herd defense clamped down and got a groundout, pop-up and flyout." - Buffalo newspaper

Game resumes at one this afternoon so everyone can achieve climax. Then the regular game. I cannot attend, so please don't go. I don't want to get jealous and hate you.

DUCKWORTH!!!!!

4.15.11 Red Sox @ Chiefs - Daniel Nava walked three times.

Pawtucket wins! 8-2. Tony Pena gets the win in long, long, long three-inning relief. Syracuse starter Garrett Mock is really, really going to be called back up at some point, BUT! gets the loss here, pitching 3 2/3 innings and walking everyone, including his own catcher. Seven walks for Mock! And a balk!

Pawtucket starter Andrew Miller pitched four scoreless innings with three strikeouts and four walks. He threw 82 pitches, 46 for strikes. It's all written down and I believe virtually everything I read.

Pawtucket's offense came in mostly little chips and pieces and didn't get underway until inning 3, when Mock walked in a run to put Pawtucket up 1-0.

In the fourth inning, a couple of walks and a single loaded the bases and ended the night for Mock. At last. Lefty Matt Chico entered to face Reddick, who greeted him with a line drive to right, scoring Tony Thomas. Chico followed that up by walking Nava with the bases loaded. 3-0 Pawtucket.

Center fielder Ryan Kalish led off the sixth inning with a single. And then the greatest thing happened... Yamaico Navarro tripled! Remarkable! Chico then walked the next batter, Josh Reddick, who stole second base because Raul Chavez is not on the Chiefs. And after Chico walked Anderson, well, that was enough for Chiefs manager Randy Knorr. Enter Lee Hyde. (Who?) And... he's another lefty?

And guess what Hyde did? Walked in a run! No! Yes, Drew Sutton took a walk and Navarro scored. Hyde followed that up with a wild pitch to Tony Thomas, scoring Reddick. And Thomas singled to bring the score to 7-0.

An RBI single by Yamaico Navarro, who has completely surprised the heck out of me thus far, brought the score to 8-0 in the seventh inning. Syracuse finally decided to fight back in the bottom half of the inning with Tony Pena pitching. Center fielder Corey Brown led off with a walk and catcher Jhonatan Solano helpfully hit a home run to wipe away the zero.

Oh my goodness, what else? Bowden pitched the last couple of innings, continuing to be better than last season, closing in on pretty good, so maybe he'll put it all together this year. Maybe.

walking on the ice to my old school:

1. Pitcher Garrett Mock was ejected in the seventh inning. Had to be the strike zone. HAD to be. All those walks? Home plate umpire DJ Reyburn probably needed an escort to his vehicle after the game.
2. Garrett Mock's groin impeded him from pitching at his best. Read all about it here, because there are too many great quotes for me to include here.
3. Navarro and Reddick had three hits apiece.
4. I was right about Mock's ejection: "I ended up telling the home plate umpire how I felt about the game. It was a heat of the moment thing. I’ve never been ejected in my life." Terrific job, Lindsay Kramer.
5. And Pokerguy315 comments: "Both teams were getting squeezed pretty hard by a home plate ump who must have felt he got paid by the hour. After Mock got tossed, Chico got screwed hardcore on some very borderline ball calls. Frustrating when an ump wants to be the focal point of the game with awful calls throughout"

So not only is DJ Reyburn behind the turntables so Richard Dawson and Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly can dance, but he's also devilish with the K zone.

TONIGHT!!! Welcome home, everybody. Brandon Duckworth will face Buffalo's ... Fossum, I guess?

Thank you, this was fantastic.

Ladies and gentlemen... Please welcome... BAKED HADDOCK!!

Forgot to mention tonight's game. It's Syracuse again at 7 pm and it's Andrew Miller facing Garrett Mock.

I am sometimes stunned at how bad I still am at this.

4.14.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Syracuse Chiefs - Jabberjaw

Pawtucket loses again, 4-1. Red Sox starter Matt Fox takes the loss, despite only pitching two innings. Syracuse lefty Ross Detwiler pitched six one-run innings and got to bring home the W.

Syracuse scored first in inning number one because center fielder Roger Bernadina WANTED THIS GAME. Bernadina led off with a single and stole second, advanced on a wild pitch, then ran home in the middle of a groundout. 1-0.

Matt Fox did appear in the third and faced a few batters, but couldn't get an out. Shortstop Chris McConnell led the inning off with a single, then Bernadina hit a home run to right. Brian Bixler and Jeff Frazier then hit back-to-back singles. How cute for Jeff Frazier. How long have you been in the IL, again?

When Fox walked Chris Marrero to load the bases, Arnie came out and gave him the hook. Clevelan Santeliz took over and got Michael Aubrey to ground out, which scored Bixler from third. 4-0.

Nate Spears hit an RBI double at the top of the fourth to score Pawtucket's only run. Chiefs reliever Josh Wilkie pitched the seventh inning and put a couple of runners on with no outs, but he struck out Thomas and Kalish and got Navarro to fly out. So that was good for Syracuse on their special opening day.

amity:
1. Hideki Okajima also pitched and has still not allowed a run. Wouldn't it be nice to keep him in Pawtucket? For me?
2. Roger "The Shark" Bernadina has some fans...
3. Catcher Luis Exposito was ejected from this game in the fifth inning. Please tell me why.

Okay, that's really it. Getting up really early to do this sucks so much. I need to start going to bed early... Perhaps Drew Sutton can sing a lullaby.

BYE.

4.14.11 Pawtucket @ Syracuse - Game 1

Syracuse WINS! 3-2 in nine innings. This was the first game of a double-header. Heretofore perfect reliever Jason Rice takes the loss for the Red Sox. Righty reliever Adam Carr takes the win for a game started by Yunesky Maya.

Starting for the Pawtucket Red Sox, weighing in at 195 pounds, the Notre Dame flame... Kyle Weiland! Weiland pitched his fine self into the fifth inning, giving up only one run to the Chiefs, but after Syracuse catcher and former beloved Pawtucket player Carlos Maldonado doubled and Bixler singled and the other guy walked... The other guy, out in right... Frazier! Frazier walked to load the bases and it was curtains for Kyle Weiland. Pawtucket's puny 2-1 lead was in great danger.

Enter Rich Hill (Don't mind if I do!) (Ew.) Hill was like, Fuck this shit, and he got the last out. Hill even came out for the sixth and would have had an out right away with DH Michael Aubrey, but Yamaico Navarro made an error and Aubrey was safe at first.

Second baseman Seth Bynum then grounded out to advance Bernadina... Wait, did I tell you that Roger Bernadina was pinch running for Aubrey? SYRACUSE WANTED TO WIN, DAMN IT! Center fielder Corey Brown then rather conveniently hit a line drive single to right, scoring Bernadina. One unearned run for Hill, who was lying back and thinking of England on the mound. Tie game!

Jason Rice succeeded Hill, and was not doing too badly when Iglesias made a fielding error in the ninth, allowing Maldonado to reach base. Uh-oh. Another pinch runner, which come on... Who needs one when you have the lithe, speedy Maldonado wreaking havoc on the basepaths?

A single and a walk loaded the bases and then Yamaico Navarro couldn't handle something Jeff Frazier hit and it brought home the winning run for the Chiefs. Navarro was the official crumbum of the game, finishing with three fielding errors. Is something wrong at home, Mike?

Jhonatan Solano was the pinch runner for Maldonado:
1. See that mess of a lineup I made? That is because I saw 'Whiting' and thought 'Eli'. Teach me to make assumptions. Next thing you know I'll find out there's another Bazardo in the league not named Yorman.
2. Syracuse starter Yunesky Maya pitched 5 2/3 innings, giving up two runs and striking out five. He is from Cuba and uses a translator.
3. Maldonado doubled twice.
4. Ten strikeouts for Weiland! That's certainly an accomplishment. Now go read this Kevin Thomas joint.
5. Syracuse newspaper guy Lindsay Kramer live blogs the games! Just like Donnie Collins!

Okay, now I have to do game two.

The 30th Anniversary

Monday the 18th will be the 30th anniversary of the Longest Game in Baseball History. How can I miss it? I'm skipping work and I don't even live in Massachusetts.

I heard Dave Barry wrote a book about it entitled "I Am Not Making This Up: Trying to Explain Watching Baseball to My Kids".

What I meant to say is that the author's name is Dan Barry and the book is called 'The Game'. Will someone buy it for me? I haven't yet received my tax refund.

Or how about this? FREE. Sometimes I get e-mails from people who are pimping books that are baseball-related, offering a free copy even if I don't write a review of it. THIS BOOK I WOULD WELCOME.

My brother once met a woman who wrote a book about her sons playing for the PawSox. She contacted me once she heard about my blog, but my brother said her book was horrible and that she thought the sun shone out of her sons' asses so I declined to get involved. I trust my brother.

I also got invited to the Boston pitchers wine party, along with probably 1000 other blog people. First of all, I much prefer beer. Secondly, I don't like either one of those pitchers, regardless of their time in Pawtucket. No, thank you.

I never get any good swag. Also, nobody likes me.

PS Guess what's also approaching? The fifth anniversary of the Delmon Young Bat Incident. April 26th! Pawtucket will be in Lehigh Valley but I'll be at the park with a dozen Louisville Sluggers. There will be fried dough, balloons, and re-enactments from 12-3:00. Tickets start at $8.00.

Ramp Champ #36: Sam Horn

Four years? Come on! I have stuff to do!

Sam Horn is a first base/DH type who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox FOUR SEASONS. Firstly, 20 games in 1986 and lastly, 51 games in 1989.

1986 - In those twenty games Horn struck out 23 times. How many times did he walk? Five. Is it so wrong to be human after all?

1987 - Horn is clearly the power hitter who strikes out a lot who plays first (a little) but he's a DH. Or do I mean DJ? DJ! (Who's that gigolo on the street?)

Sam Horn hit 30 home runs for Pawtucket that year in less than 100 games, setting the lefty record for home runs per at-bat. Horn also set the slugging record Batted .321 with a 1.027 OPS. He was 23.

1988 - Horn was intentionally walked 10 times that season. He played in 83 games, hit ten home runs, walked a lot more and tried to steal three times but never made it. His offense was down but maybe Horn was learning a thing or two about being a real man. And I can tell you first hand... Horn was a real man.

1989 - Marty Barrett, Scott Wade, Mike Rochford's ERA, Ellsworth, Jeff Stone, Oil Can Boyd

Dana Williams, John Leister, Ed Nottle's losing record, ELLIS BURKS AND SAM HORN, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!

Sam Horn hit his only triple for Pawtucket that year. The rest of his stats are unimpressive.

Two things:
1. (With Pawtucket) "Big Sam was nowhere to be found, so a huge group of kids congregated around the team bus, just waiting. Soon enough, there was a total eclipse of the moon, simply meaning Horn was walking towards us. I stood there, ball, program and pen in hand, all 75 pounds of me, reached up to get my things signed, and BAM!, fucking Horn knocks me to the ground. Everyone else saw the mood he was in, and parted like Moses parting the Red Sea. Horn got onto that bus without signing a single autograph." - from 'Mystique and Aura' blog
2. Horn still lives in RI and his son, Jamale, is playing baseball. Does 'Jamale' rhyme with 'tamale'? Wait, 'tamale' isn't really a word. The singular form of 'tamales' is 'tamal'.

The nail used to hang Sam Horn's mural is audibly creaking from the weight. Go listen to it in the middle part of the third base tower.

The Legend of Bronson Arroyo

At the PawSox home opener, I was disappointed to see Scott Atchison starting the game and not Alfredo Aceves as promised. Atchison pitched well, though, so I got over it rather quickly.

My guest was surprised when Atchison got taken out so early, not knowing that Atchison was more a reliever than a starter and all the other reasons why. "But what if he was pitching a no-hitter?"

And I realized then that not only might there never be another perfect game or no-hitter, but maybe not even a complete game. That sounds dramatic, but it's kind of realistic.

In 2003, when Bronson Arroyo pitched his perfect game, only two other pitchers that season went the full nine: Bruce Chen and Dicky Gonzalez. Holy crap, remember them?! I think Chen's still drifting around...

In '04, righty Jamie Brown pitched two complete games. The marvelous Tim Kester pitched one and then... John Stephens? Was he the Australian guy? So that was four that year and I missed out on that stuff.

2005 - One CG, thanks again to Tim Kester. Poor guy never made it to the big leagues. Criminal.

2006 - Three complete games! I am losing my credibility here, you guys. Matt Ginter, Rob Henkel, and Jason Johnson. I remember Ginter, barely remember Henkel, and Johnson was one of those disastrous Boston relievers (Like that old guy, Mike something? Tough year.)

In 2007, TV's Jon Lester and his enormous melon pitched two complete games. Know who else did? John Barnes (knuckleballer?) and Mike Burns! Mike Burns! My memories are flooding back. I can't believe they let Lester go all the way twice. Astounding.

2008 - The legendary, mysterious Devern Hansack pitched two complete games. Charlie Zink also worked his way through a pair of CG's.

2009 - JOHN SMOLTZ PITCHED A COMPLETE GAME FOR PAWTUCKET? Was Theo aware this was going on? Why don't I remember this? Can anyone prove this really happened?

Also Buchholz and Zink that year.

Finally, last year Adam Mills pitched a complete game and so did Ramon Ramirez. Wasn't Ramirez' game a seven-inning thing? Or it was rained out or something?

Okay, so I was wrong about there not being complete games. I must have been arevatada. But I think we all learned something today, and it's that Arroyo is not gonna be a fucking legend ON MY WATCH!!! JUNICHI TAZAWA, IT'S ON YOU MY FRIEND!!!

Double header at two. See you there, sweetness.

4.12.11 Pawtucket @ Buffalo - The Bell Tolls

Buffalo WINS! 8-1. Starting lefty Kris Johnson takes the loss for the Red Sox.

Bisons starter Dillon Gee really got after it this game, pitching seven innings and only allowing one run. He gave up a couple of walks and struck out three Pawtucket batters. And the children of Buffalo were happy again and had pleasant dreams.

Kris Johnson's pitching woes continued as if he'd never had an off-season. I mean, right away, first inning, four singles and a double put a three on the board for the Bisons. A solo home run by first baseman Nick Evans in the second inning made the score 4-0.

In the bottom of the third inning, the first batter Johnson faced, third baseman Zach Lutz, hit a solo homer to center to bump it up to 5-0. Johnson put another couple of runners on base with one out before getting a love letter, and was replaced by the mighty Scott Atchison.

Left fielder Jesus Feliciano dug in against Atchison and hit a line drive to center, scoring Russ Adams. Yes, Russ Adams is still kicking around. A sac fly and a fielding error brought in two more runs. 8-0. And it was only the third inning.

In the fifth inning, Gee walked Josh Reddick, who ran home when Yamaico Navarro hit a line drive double to left. That would be the sole production of Pawtucket. Yamaico Navarro has certainly surprised me with his offense so far. Like this: :O

Atchison returned to pitch a couple more innings and held the Bisons back. Bowden entered the game for some long relief, pitching the final three innings in a scoreless, 90's fashion.

Dillon Gee- Seven innings, 99 pitches. This is remarkable. I have seen the Mets work their minor leaguers like this before, most notably with RA Dickey. And so early in the season! I would say it's crazy and radical, and I suppose it is, but it certainly doesn't seem like the org is getting results from this. If the Mets start rocking and rolling, then I might say, "The Mets have some great young pitching. They really do some smart things in the high minors."

Okay, no, I would probably never say that. Can we talk about Dale Thayer? Dale Thayer pitched the eighth and the ninth and got a couple of K's.

Kris Johnson threw 66 pitches through 2 1/3 innings and now his ERA is 23.14. That kind of job failure often leads to impotence and divorce.

you might as well get used to me coming home a little late:
1. Ryan Kalish made a throwing error, Nate Spears a fielding error.
2. 26 of Bowden's 34 pitches were strikes.
3. Maybe Dillon Gee will be called up soon.
4. Jose Iglesias was caught stealing. Buffalo catcher Raul Chavez is not fucking around back there.
5. Zach Lutz' name starts and ends with 'Z'.
6. "Dillion" Gee. This guy again. Wait, he's in high school? I'm such a jerk.

This afternoon at 2:00 (or some time close to that) it's Kyle Weiland in Syracuse facing either Ross Detwiler or Yunesky Maya. Probably Maya. It's the home opener for Syracuse so you'd better put on a pair of pants!

Bye!

4.11.11 Red Sox at Bisons - Buffaloco

Pawtucket WINS! Exploding offense all over your face! 15-1 and Duckworth gets his first win!

Old Man Duckworth pitched five scoreless innings and struck out three Bisons.

No, it would be better if we discussed the offense. It's mostly Casey Fossum's fault. Fossum started the game great, striking out Kalish. but then he walked Nava and Reddick and Drew Something singled to load 'em up for Anderson. Anderson flied out to left, scoring Nava. 1-0 Pawtucket.

Fossum got his shit together for a little while, managing not to bring shame upon the great city of Buffalo... Until the fourth inning. Fossum was so enraged by Lars Anderson's mall-rat coiffure that he hit him with a pitch. JC Linares was next up and he very calmly hit a double, scoring Anderson, only partly because Pridie effed things up in left.

Fossum then got Tony T to strike out (Thomas would later have his revenge) but Exposito got hom good with a double to left, scoring Linares. 3-0! And then a fourth run from a Ryan Kalish RBI single.

Fossum powered through the rest of the fourth, probably with great help from his ripped physique. The fifth inning was another slew of problems. It started off with ass-to-ass doubles from Nava and Reddick and a one-out walk to Anderson. Shivering newborn Dylan Owen took over and the poor thing. Linares homered. Had I been little Dylan Owen, this would have crushed me. But he somehow managed to get the last two outs and walked back into the dugout.

Owen came back out for the sixth inning, maybe breathing a little easier? Pawtucket singled three successive times to load the bases with no outs. A fielding error during Reddick's at-bat got the fifth run over. Then Owen walked Sutton with the bases loaded to make it 6-0.

Anderson and Linares both struck out after that, and then Tony Thomas grounded out to end the inning. WAIT! I can't believe you fell for that... What really happened was Thomas hit a home run which was a grand slam which makes him the RBI-est guy in the IL. I should probably sponsor him instead of Rich Hill.

Pawtucket reliever Tony Pena gave up the sole Bisons run in the seventh. Okajima and Rice somehow managed to keep the game from getting away from them.

I remember Okajima's fever:
1. Worst loss in Buffalo's history. It was freaking freezing to boot. Take it away, Tyler Dunne!

I'm way too fidgety to finish this, sorry. I may come back later if I'm not too impaired. Kris Johnson's starting today and the small, mean, petty part of me I cannot suppress is hoping he goes down in flames. Super sexy righty Dillon Gee should have no problem making Johnson look like dogmeat. I think.

Paz afuera.

Ramp Champ #35: Glenn Hoffman

GlennHoffman is a shortstop/third base type who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox.... Gah! In 1978, 1979, 1987, and 1988. Hoffman played in four games in 1977, but we don't need to delve into that.

1978 was alright once you get past the pain. Hoffman was just a baby at 19 and he played in 131 games(!). He batted .282 with a .322 OBP.

The next season, 1979, Hoffman was fourth in the International League for games played with 139. While most of his numbers increased only slightly, he hit 11 home runs... Nine more than he did the previous season. He was hit by a pitch ten times, placing him second in the league. Hoffman was really hitting his stride in the white hot spotlight.

Fast forward to 1987! Glenn H. didn't do anything interesting during that period, anyway. I mean, hello, Van Hagar. Hoffman played in 46 Pawtucket games, mostly playing third. It wasn't that interesting.

And then, at last, 1988. Glenn Hoffman is 29. A big 109 PawSox games. Hoffman walked A LOT! A lot for him, I mean. More than any other Pawtucket season. Also he mashed his K's down. Hoffman was well-seasoned by that point.

Two things:
1. This story is pretty great. It's mostly about Trevor, but still.
2. "Pawtucket was a lot bigger city on the way up than on the way down." - Hoffman on movin' on up and slip slidin' away.
3. "I remember Glenn Hoffman, Trevor Hoffman's older brother, playing with the Boston Red Sox and their AAA team in Pawtucket RI back in the 1970s and 80s. I still have a 1979 program from a Pawtucket game that I went to when I was 10 years old that has a picture of Glenn and his 11 year old brother Trevor hanging out at the ballpark. Who knew back then that the little kid in that picture would become the greatest relief pitcher in history." - 'Gary' on Baseball Reference

Glenn Hoffman's in the lobby of the first base tower. Waiting for you.

I'll be here tomorrow so please stand by.

4.10.11 Red Sox @ Bisons - Jose, Michael, Mannyl, and Ryota

Yes, I meant to type 'Mannyl', which I will explain later. Buffalo takes it, 2-1.

Andrew Miller devastated curious fans everywhere by pitching only 3 2/3 innings. In the first inning, Miller gave up a one-out triple to second baseman Justin Turner, who made it home when first baseman Nick Evans later singled. Pawtucket tied it all up in the fourth with an RBI single from JC Linares, right off of Buffalo starter Boof Bonser.

Buffalo scored its second and winning run in the bottom of the fourth. After striking out 3B Zach Lutz to lead things off, Miller walked Ruben Tejeda. And then walked Nieuwenhuis. Then Feliciano to load 'em up!

Was Miller the victim of bad calls? I doubt it! Karl Best doesn't horse around! At any rate, Miller was done for the night and Rich Hill inherited the mess on the field. Mike McKenry allowed a passed ball with Pridie at bat, so Tejeda scored. Hill got Pridie to fly out, though, which is great because Pridie is so fucking dangerous.

Hill went on to pitch another pair of innings, keeping Buffalo scoreless. Clevelan Santeliz polished off the remainder of the game, again suppressing the Bisons. Unfortch, Pawtucket was not in a hitting mood... Or they were stymied by the awesome power of the combined relief of Jose de la Torre, Michael O'Connor, Mannyl Alvarez, and Ryota Igarashi. At any rate, innings 5-9 were a series of zeroes.

Ronny, Bobby, Ricky and Mike:
1. See that kid from 'Almost Famous'? That is a fairly accurate representation of Andrew Miller's hairstyle.
2. Buffalo reliever Mannyl Alvarez' real first name is 'Manuel'.
3. Buffalo catcher Raul Chavez gunned down both Tony Thomas and Ryan Kalish. Good work, RC.
4. Bonser left the game right inthe middle of Nate Spears' fourth inning at-bat due to an injury. Schminjury. Maybe you know what happened, but I don't.
5. Okay, it was a 'possible forearm strain'. Thank you, N. Pugliese, but you spelled Pawtucket incorrectly. How would you like it if I called them the 'Bufallo' Bisons?
6. Read all about Andrew Miller's Cape Cod fog game, which is so legendary that I have never heard about it. Sounds remarkable, though.
7. Andrew Miller threw 75 pitches, 37 for strikes.
8. Hm, PawSox lose on a "pass" ball. This guy again.

Tonight! More Bison meat. Brandon Duckworth v Casey Fossum, who is still alive! You should see Fossum, he got really fat.

No, I was just kidding. He's still pretty raw-boned. See you guys later.

4.9.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons (NYM) - Angela

Pawtucket WINS! 8-3 in Buffalo. The delightfully enigmatic Matt Fox gets the win for Pawtucket, pitching six one run innings with four strikeouts.

Buffalo starter Pat Misch stretched himself out to seven innings. He wasn't particularly effective, as evidenced by The Grand Slam. You know.

OH, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THE GRAND SLAM? Top of the second, designated hitter Daniel Nava leading off. Nava takes a walk. Then a double by Anderson. Sutton strikes out, but Linares walks to load the bases with one out. Exposito up! Could he do it? No, he popped out, but second baseman Tony Thomas rolled his sleeves up and got the job done! Grand slam to left! Everybody was happy, even Okajima.

I'm sure the 4-1 lead left Fox feeling pretty comfy for the rest of his pitch-scursion. Hideki Okajima pitched a tidy, scoreless seventh and then re-raked the mound before he exited. Michael Bowden (The closer?) handled the last two innings. He walked Jesus Feliciano like a snowball down a mountain, like a carnival balloon. And then who? WHO? Jason Pridie, who is still hanging around like a persistant skin lesion, hit his second home run of the game. Oh, dear, is all I have to say.

So aside from Tony's GS, where did all the other runs come from? Well, there was one in the fifth inning that was a solo home run... And then one in the eighth when Anderson hit an RBI single... Then a deuce in the ninth when Linares led off with a chunky double and advanced to third on a wild pitch by Dale Thayer's mustache. Tony Thomas singled Linares home for one, and then stole second. Another wild pitch from Thayer got Thomas over to third and Navarro grounded to second and got Thomas across the plate. Dale Thayer, wild and woolly and unable to shake the dust off his spurs.

Hold Me Closer:
1. Jason Pridie, guys. Jason Pridie. "My job is to get the team going." Oh, yes, I am quite sure.
2. "He tried to throw a cutter in and the guy has pull power. He got his pitch in the right zone. The inning just got away from [Misch] a little bit." - Bisons manager Tim Teufel on Thomas' slam.
3. Pat Misch had the most wins for a lefty in the IL last year. Thank you, Jay Skurski.
4. Feel free to look over this series preview, too. Yeah, it's late. What do you want? I work full-time and have various social engagements. It's horribly glamorous, you know.
5. Val Pascucci? BITCHIN'. Time for the most excellent Val Pascucci song and let's sing it all day.

This afternoon! Andrew Miller will pitch up against Boof Bonser, who sees no problem with drinking beer right before a game in which he might pitch. Bonser? I hardly knew her! (Sorry.)

BOOF! THERE IT IS!

4.8.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Rochester Red Wings - K's

Rochester WINS! 7-2 before a crowd of 6,212. Red Wings starter Eric Hacker gets the win after pitching five scoreless innings.

Red Sox starter Kyle Weiland had a lesser, more disappointing night, letting down his parents who sacrificed so much. Weiland squeezed out three innings, giving up four runs on seven hits, including a solo home run to Trevor Plouffe in the third. Weiland continued to suck in the third, throwing who knows what to Dustin Martin so he could triple. And then Bailey hit an RBI single... Yeah.

Pawtucket reliever Tony Pena's relief was not much cuter. Pena stacked three more run-stuffed innings atop Weiland's, allowing Rochester to score three to bring the total to 7-0.

The Red Sox finally got some work done in the bottom of the sixth, when Reddick led off with a walk, Navarro doubled, and Kalish doubled to bring them both home. But that was it. No more scoring. You can all go back to watching TV shows about coupons.

Jason Rice and Clevelan Santeliz combined for some stone cold sexy scoreless relief. Rice struck out Chase Lambin, Ben Revere, and Brian Dinkelman during his two innings because he's el mero mero.

migajas:
1. Jeff Bailey is going to strike out a lot this season. He's a good man and he puts it down, but I have doubts. He was hit by a pitch last night, so at least he's got that right.
2. Eric Hacker was Pitcher of the Year in the PCL for 2010. He came from the Giants org.
3. Dinkelman hit two doubles and Plouffe ended the night going 3-5.
4. Yamaico Navarro's off to a good start! The pretty pesky poltergeist went 3-4 with two doubles. Contrariwise, Nava went 0-4 with two K's.
5. Pawtucket loaded the bases in the ninth, but Josh Reddick failed to get a run across, instead grounding into a double play. Instead of insulting him, I'll just say 'It happens' and it's a long season so better luck next time.
6. Jose "Igresias" was spiked by Plouffe in the fourth, but he is just fine. And there really is no fucking excuse for not spelling the players' names right, KEVIN PEREIRA.

TONIGHT! Buffaloney! Matt Fox will face off against lefty weirdo Pat Misch. Are you going? Let's go! We should totally go! It's gonna be freeeeezing!!!!!!!!

4.7.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Rochester Red Wings - Here We Go!

Pawtucket WINS! 2-1. Rochester reliever Yorman Bazardo took the loss after JC Linares got a hold of him.

I was initially disappointed to see Scott Atchison starting for Pawtucket, but it faded once I realized how quickly and efficiently he was pitching. Hell, yeah, it was cold! Atchison pitched 4 2/3 innings and struck out eight, leaving the game after Red Wings catcher Rene Rivera doubled to deep center, scoring Chase Lambin for the first run of the game. Rochester countered with righty Anthony Swarzak. who pitched an equal amount of innings and struck out seven PawSox kidz.

Rich Hill replaced Atchison in the fifth inning to get the last out, striking out CF Ben Revere and his quart of beer. Hill would go on to pitch 2 1/3 innings and get the win thanks to JC Linares' two-run triple. A triple for the thick guy!

I can't believe Hideki Okajima is on the PawSox and that he pitched last night. When I first heard the possibility that he would be sent down, I was surprised he even had an option. Okajima pitched a scoreless eighth, which was cool, but the remarkable thing was Michael Bowden closing out the game in the ninth. I can't believe Bowden didn't walk anybody! He seemed pretty crisp, so we'll see how the off-season treated him.

Jose Iglesias didn't really have an opportunity to dazzle the crowd with his legendary defense, but he did get a pair of hits so it was a good night for him. Daniel Nava doubled. Ryan Kalish went 0-4 and he doubled.

Yamaico Navarro walked. He groused a little bit when he was called out on strikes in the first, which I think is a bad idea this early in the season. Rochester's Jeff Bailey did the same thing in the second, but he can get away with it because he's a veteran.

you've got a place to go:
1. The Ben Mondor tribute was terrific. They played a slideshow of Mondor photos accompanied by 'What a Wonderful World.' I think he was smiling in every shot. It was very moving.
2. Alfredo Aceves was supposed to start but was called up. Atchison had like, less than an hour to prepare. What a pro. I should tell you an Atchison anecdote, but I am saving it for a cold, rainy day.
3. Rochester manager Tom Nieto did not dig the seven called third strikes on the team, but not because he thought home plate ump Chris Conroy was daffy: "Obviously, you want to put the ball in play with two strikes," he said. - Rochester paper
4. Red Wings starter and IL favorite Anthony Swarzak threw 46 of his 75 pitches for strikes. He did rather well, but shit happens I suppose.
5. Rich Hill sez: "It felt great to be able to go out there and do that. Scott Atchison had done such a great job starting for us on short notice, I wanted to keep it up. We all knew the team was counting on the bullpen tonight." Does this guy know how to party or what?
6. Inspector Luis del Rio sang the anthem and GBA. I feel as though he should do it as often as possible. Not because he's such a fabulous singer, but because he moves through the lyrics at quite a clip. No fancy trills and sustained notes, just short and sweet. Thank you, Inspector!
7. Atchison: "I was definitely running out of gas."
8. 'Wings Things' Opening day entry (read it)
9. Juan-Carlos wants to go by JC, which is 100% okay by me. Maybe he read my blog and noticed how I complain about players with long names because they screw up my hand-crafted lineups. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, JONATHAN EUGENE VAN EVERY AND JARROD SALTALAMACCHIA?!
10. Some Rochester TV video featuring Jeff Bailey. Don't kill yourself, it's not that gripping.
11. The new PA guy's aight. He keeps it simple, which I appreciate. Not like that freaking Gwinnett Braves PA guy and his game show hostiness.
12. New uniforms for Rochester!
13. In Baseball Outsider's Anthony Swarzak profile, the author notes 'Chance of making [big league] team: Not going to happen.' What, even though he lost 30 lbs?

Tonight! Rochester and the Red Sox face off once more. Kyle Weiland will pitch and I will miss it. Eric Hacker goes for the Red Wings. Then nothing for a while.

Good night. Wait...

The Brockton... Red Sox?

Hey, Terry Nau! It's the Brockton ROX!!! JESUS CHRIST, doesn't anyone demand excellence from themselves any more?

Also, Rich Hill is spontaneous and inspirational.

remorse

Aaron Bates was essentially fired. I thought I would be happy about this, but instead I feel sympathy. What if I got fired? What would I do? I don't even have an agent who will help me get another job.

There was a time that I liked Bates, and that was when he was in Portland.

Aaron Bates was really hot.

One time he hit a home run really far. I wasn't there when it happened.

I don't want to be an asshole who gloats every time a player gets released. I'll just save it for the major shitheads. Bates wasn't too bad. He just had some problems at the plate.

In a related story, Craig Hansen was released by the Pirates. Seems he had a rare nerve disorder, Parsonage-Turner. His mother must feel terrible about all this.

Ramp Champ #35: Butch Hobson

Fucking shit, I am not even halfway through all of this!

Butch Hobson is a third baseman/MI who played for the Rhode Island Red Sox in 1976. He also managed the PawSox in 1991, so how about a little respect, dickbag?

And here we are in 1976. Hobson is 25 years old. He struck out a lot, but he also hit 25 home runs, which is usually how it goes. The 25 homers placed him at third place in the International League that season. And that is the dirty lowdown.

Pawtucket had a winning record under Hobson in '91, going 79-64 and winning their division. The team made it to the Governor's Cup playoffs, but was swept by the Clippers. You know... The Yankees' affiliate. A few years later, he had a very bad time in Pawtucket with the visiting Rochester Red Wings, which you all know about. Ain't no law against drugs.

Two things:
1. "Butch Hobson manages the Pawsox. He’s a real down-home Alabama guy, easy to be around. He invites me into the dugout on one of the minor league fields. His players take batting practice, and one of them hits a high foul that curves well back and down into a swampy area near one of Winter Haven’s many lakes. One of his players chases after the ball, but Hobson brings him up short. “Don’t be goin’ down there – the gators’ll get you,” he says. - Garry Brown
2. "[Mo] Vaughn, with whom Hobson worked every day of the last two years at Bristol and Pawtucket, said bitterly that Hobson had changed since being named Boston manager last November. 'Butch Hobson is not the same manager he was,' Vaughn said." - aqui

Butch Hobson's doing just fine in the upper part of the third base tower. I wouldn't mess with him.

Lunch with Vee

What was good about the Red Sox luncheon this year?

Hideki Okajima was there, Chili Davis was there.

Bill Lee was the opposite of boring as the guest speaker.

Blackberries!

Coffee!

Iggy and his Man Purse. Sounds like a New Wave band.

That's it, I guess. SSDY.

It all starts tomorrow, guys. I'm going to double up on iron, put on some long johns, wear my mittens, leave work early and head to the park. THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT! LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!

I love you guys. See you at the park.