5.3.11 Redder Sox, Muddier Hens

Toledo takes 3 out of 4, this game 7-2. Mud Hens starter Duane Below pitched six innings, gave up two runs on seven hits, and got the win.

Pawtucket countered with Felix Doubront, who pitched 3 1/3 innings and gave up two runs on four hits. Doubront also had five strikeouts and three walks. Reliever Jason Rice took the loss for the Red Sox, working for 1 1/3 innings and giving up three runs in the top of the fifth before being replaced by Kris Johnson.

Johnson put in three innings of work and the Mud Hens beat a couple of more runs out of him. Relievers Scott Atchison and Rich Hill got two outs apiece to wrap the game up, neither pitcher allowing an eighth run.

Pawtucket third baseman Hector Luna hit an RBI double in the bottom of the first inning to give the Sox their first run. Luna went on to hit a solo home run in the fourth, putting up Pawtucket's second and final run.

The rehabbing Victor Martinez went 2-4 with a double. Shortstop Cale Iorg hit a two-run homer in the second inning. Veteran left fielder Timo Perez went 4-5.

Today will be an off day for the team, followed by a series in Scranton Wilkes-Barre facing the Yankees. Alfredo Aceves will face righty Andrew Brackman.

5.2.11 Red Sox v Mud Hens - I am very worried about JC Linares.

I CAN NO LONGER KEEP WAKING UP THIS EARLY! I can't do it, I can't. I was having a perfectly good dream that I was reading an in-depth profile on Jim Leyland after I skateboarded to my law class. And in my dream I lived near the beach. Which I already do, sort of, but it's not like I can see the ocean from my house.

Let me get two things out of the way: HEY MCCOY P.A. GUY, IT'S 'LUIS' EXPOSITO! NOT 'LOUIS'! IT IS NOT THE SAME THING! I WANT JIM MARTIN BACK!

Second, Helen Glover threw out the first pitch. Glover spit some 'Proud to be an American' crap and told a stupid 'joke' about Bin Laden. It wasn't wildly conservative, but the undertones were there. And they played 'Male Model'. (Sorry.)

Yeah, it's way too early. This sleep deprivation is going to make me crash my car.

Pawtucket WINS! 11-2. Starting pitcher Brandon Duckworth was not stellar, but solid enough to keep the Dirt Birds down for six innings. Duckworth gave up two runs on eight hits and he struck out six batters. And two walks, don't forget those.

Toledo starter Charlie Furbush, who comes from the rather frightening state of Maine, is tall. And it was obvious from the outset that Furbush could not handle the real ultimate power of Yamaico Navarro, who led the entire game off with a double. Navarro advanced on a passed ball, Sutton walked, Reddick grounds into a force out, scoring Navarro. And then Hector Luna... Good news, everyone! Luna hit a home run! 3-0 Pawtucket!

The second inning was great but also terrible. JC Linares led off with a walk... Iglesias then hit the ball into the infield and reached first base on an error. But when Linares hit second base, he hurt himself and dropped to the ground. Big, strong Linares was down and he was all red and practically screaming in agony. It looked really bad. Probably the knee. Linares was assisted off the field by two gents and he hop hopped all the way to the dugout. I thought he might have needed a stretcher. At any rate, it was the worst thing I have ever seen at McCoy. Linares is great, too.

Nate Spears in his gator boots and his pimped out Gucci suit entered the game as a pinch runner for Linares. Poor Linares, oh my god, I hope he is okay. After all of that, Drew Sutton hit a three-run homer. Reddick flew out to center, but Hector Luna hit another BOMB and it was crazy. Damn it is good to have Luna on our team. He is like Super Sandy Madera. 7-0 Pawtucket! And it was curtians for Charlie Furbush, who was replaced in favor of Chris Oxspring. It was a very long second inning.

Pawtucket struck again in the third v Oxspring, after Toledo scarped up a run in the top of the inning. Iglesias hit a single with two outs and Yamaico Navarro hit a home run to center. 9-1 Pawtucket!

Top of the fourth, shortstop Cale Iorg doubled with one out. Center fielder Andy Dirks hit an RBI single to bring the score to 9-2. But in the bottom of the inning, a slew of singles pushed another run across and it was 10-2 Red Sox.

Pawtucket went on to score its eleventh and final run in the fifth inning, when Yamaico Navarro hit a solo home run. Truly astounding. I was unstirred by Navarro last season and now I am shaken.

Relievers Randy Williams and Matt Fox stapled down the rest of the game, held the Mud Hens to zero point zero zero runs. It was wonderful to be there. It was certainly a thrill.


isaac fucking newton:
1. Cale Iorg is a pretty ballsy infielder. Jose Iglesias certainly noticed. It almost looked like they were trying to outdo each other at shortstop, both flying after balls that were nowhere near them. Good hustle, I guess?
2. Toledo third baseman Bryan Pounds is ripped up. He must work out a lot. Also, Scott Thorman gave a ball to a kid on the field for a pre-game ceremony, which was so sweet and unnecessary. The youngster looked at it for second then unexpectedly threw it... Hey...
3. Matt Sheely is still just hanging out. He is this season's version of Jeff Natale.
4. Furbush's had some friends and family came down from Maine. I'll bet they packed up the wagon and played their banjos the whole way down! And I'm sure they were disappointed when they couldn't bring their shotguns into the park.
5. When Luis Exposito hit his RBI single in the fourth, he raised his arms up triumphantly while standing on base. WHAT. Is that some kind of signal of camaraderie or is Exposito just being a total dick? Either way, teams have my permission to plunk him.
6. The bases were loaded for Duckworth in the first inning with one out... But he got Strieby and Thorman to strike out. MACHO.
7. Andy Dirks is the IL Player of the Week.
8. And don't feel too bad for Furbush: He recently pitched a complete game one-hitter. He was later seen celebrating by drinking out of a big, brown jug with three x's written on the side.
9. There are two Australian pitchers on the Mud Hens. And now you can read this very nice indeed blog about Australian baseball players called 'Oz MLB Players'.

Listen. Day game today featuring Duane Below and Felix Doubront. Then an off day and THEN THE FUCKING YANKEES!!! Let's wreck those assholes.

5.1.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Toledo Mud Hens - Grilled Hamari Crabill with Chutney

Mud Hens WIN! 4-3. Lefty Andrew Miller got the loss for Pawtucket, working three innings and giving up three runs on four hits. If I can surmise something from a set of numbers on a computer monitor, it is that Miller had control problems: Five walks, 84 pitches in three innings. Well, Miller started the fourth inning, but leading things off with single-walk-single is the kind of thing that gets you replaced.

But I'm not trying to crap all over Andrew Miller or even delve into what his problems might be. I mean, let's look at Mud Hens starter Thad Weber. No matter how homely he is. Weber pitched five and 2/3, gave up three home runs and still got the win. He did, however, strike out nine PawSox dudes.

Perhaps I should put this thing in reverse. The PawSox walk backward onto the field, slowly, and assume their positions. Okay, no, not like that. But not all the way to the first inning either. Although if I were at the game, I might have been impressed with Weber's first inning because he got Spears, Navarro, and Reddick to strike out swinging. Right in order!

Bottom of the third, no score yet. Catcher Mike McKenry leads off with his first home run of the season. Good job, Mike. JC Linares follows that up with a home run of his own. 2-0 Red Sox.

And here comes the pivotal fourth inning. Miller's pitching and he walks DH Cesar Nicolas. Outfielder Clete Thomas singles and Our Heinous Diaz walks to load the bases with no outs. If there's any man I want out on the hill in this situation, it's Atchison. Looks like Beyeler agrees, cause here he comes. Catcher John Murrian hits a fly ball to to right... Back! Back! Caught by Navarro! Nicolas tags and scores, 2-1 now. CF Andy Dirks hits a line drive to center, Thomas scores! Tie game!

Atchison now has to face Scott Sizemore, who everyone is afraid of even though he gives his mother flowers and that. Sizemore tripled to right, scoring Diaz and Dirks. Sizemore then tried to steal home, which is usually a pretty terrible idea... Sizemore didn't make it and it's not because he's fat. It might be that he should have hooted wildly like Daffy Duck the whole time.

Pawtucket slapped a run up in the bottom half of the inning when McKenry hit a second solo home run. That's so weird. But the rest of the game was scoreless, so fantastic job by all the young dudes in the bullpen. Michael Bowden pitched three scoreless innings and had six strikeouts. What the fuck. It's official: Bowden is now a pod person, inhabited by a space creature who feeds off opposing teams' whiffs.

The Incredible Rich Hill had a ten-pitch eighth inning, striking out Nicolas and Thomas. How do you not feel like a badass doing something like that? I would watch it on video over and over. Yes, sir, that's my baby.

where's that Camp Chicawattamee spirit?
1. McKenry wound up going 3-4, so it was his night and I hope he celebrated in an alcohol-free fashion.
2. Scott Sizemore is leading the IL in hitting. You might call him a bastard, or a little bastard, depending on how whimsical you feel at the time.
3. "[Ryan] Strieby is a natural first baseman. He is an athlete so tall and sculpted, and so radiant in his whitish-blond hair, that ex-Tigers pitcher Dontrelle Willis nicknamed him "Polar Bear." - Why does this make him seem like a porn star?
4. Hey, man, it's CESAR Nicolas, not 'Carlos'.

5. Andrew Miller is a Heel.

Hey, whatever happened to Jordan Tata? What a cutie.

Tonight! Victor Martinez is rehabbing, if you're into that freaky shit. Otherwise, it's Charlie Furbush and Brandon Duckworth. Duckbush.

See you there!

4.30.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Toledo Mud Hens - Yeah, we know.

Fireworks last night in Pawtucket! Not the way you're thinking... I'm talking about non-figurative fireworks after the game. Didn't mean to rile you up.

PAWTUCKET! LOST! 4-3. Starting pitcher Kyle Weiland pitched five innings, gave up two runs and got the loss. Weiland is now 2-2 for the season. But get this! Toledo's starter Andrew Oliver pitched seven innings and threw 111 pitches! Oliver is only 23 years old, too. Remarkable. Oliver picked up the win, so his labor was rewarded and everyone loves him.

Runs! First run of the game was in the fourth inning. Second baseman Scott Sizemore singled and advanced to second on a balk. Timo Perez bunted Sizemore over and first baseman Ryan Strieby singled to get the run across. People helping people, that's what it's about.

A trio of Toledo singles in the fifth inning put the Mud Hens up 2-0. Jason Rice pitched the sixth and seventh and held Toledo down, face first in the sewage after all the bars were closed, and grimaced as they choked on the sludge, their cries for help echoing off the brick buildings downtown... But then enter Randy Williams. And his mustache. Williams is back! He's off the DL and I am so excited. Wait, didn't I see Williams in the bullpen during a game? I think that's against the rules. I'd like to speak to a manager, please.

Okay, Randy Williams. Williams gave up two runs. It was the eighth inning and Sizemore led off with a double. Timo Perez sac bunted and still made it to first, thanks to an error by Drew Sutton. Thanks a lot, DREW. Thorman grounded into a force, Perez out at second, Sizemore scores. Thorman stole second base... Wait, isn't this the same guy who was in the Braves org? Big Canadian lummox? Am I thinking of someone else? Thorman stealing bases? THOR-MAN NOT RESTRAINED BY BULK! THOR-MAN STEAL BASE AGAINST PUNY PAWSOX!

Shortstop Cale Iorg hit a liner to center and Thorman scored. Iorg went on to steal second, but was sort of academic because the inning end just as things were getting exciting. Clete Thomas grounded out. But damn, this is the little team that could, with all the bunting and stealing and running around advancing behavior.

Pawtucket picked up three runs in the bottom of the eighth. Robbie Weinhardt was pitching, could not seem to get an out, and was hastily replaced by Matt Hoffman. Is he one of the pedigreed Hoffmans of renowned relief? The world may never know.

Hoffman also ran into trouble and was replaced by former PawSox great Enrique Gonzalez. Gonzalez pitched the rest of the inning and mowed the Red Sox down in the ninth. According to the radiocast, his pitch speed was showing at 97, which made me laugh and laugh. There is just no way. Regardless, game over. Toledo was freaking playing to win, you guys. I wish Pawtucket were like that.

I'll keep my remarks brief:
1. "Matt HOFFMAN? I saw him pitch in Toledo, was rocked.. Absolutely rocked.. Threw like a girl and only hit 85 MPH. Seems like he's on steroids. He blew it in Erie, was terrible at Toledo, and is not nowhere near a top 20 prospect. So what makes you think he'll be in the Tigers bullpen? One outing? 0% and you can mark it down, haha." - posted by 'TurnerHasHYPE' on the Tigers forum.
2. Toledo is second in the IL for stolen bases. Pawtucket? 11th place. Toledo's also in second for sacrifice bunts. Pawtucket is in dead last.
3. Series preview! Assholes are trying to steal my job!
4. Cool story on Mud Hens mgr Phil Nevin.

This afternoon! Andrew Miller v Thad Weber. Go out, have fun. I'll just be over here sneezing my goddamn head off.

HAYFEVER!!!!!

4.29.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ LehighValleyIronPigs - sparse

3-0 IronPigs... And they got less hits, too. The Red Sox hit a double and a triple and the IronPigs had ZERO extra base hits!

Okay, my outrage is manufactured. That is blatant misuse of exclamation points and I will refrain from doing that in the future.

Pawtucket starter Alfredo Aceves pitched five innings. Three walks, five strikeouts, three runs on two hits. One run was unearned, which came to be when Frandsen sac flied in the third and brought home not only Jeff Larish, but Robert Hudson from second on a crap throw. The world may never know who screwed that up.

Lehigh Valley starter Brian Gordon, who used to be an outfielder, pitched for three innings. Other than that, he was ably backed by Stone and Jeff and drummer Eddie Vedder: Reliever Chance Chapman put in some long, long relief work (four innings) and Michael Schwimer and Juan Perez zipped through the rest of the game. TWO HOURS AND TWELVE MINUTES! Fantastic!

A compliment for us is a compliment for you:
1. This Ryne Sandberg quote is tremendous: "Medium fly ball, not a guarantee score on that, so it was a good tag on his part, and after they made the cut he hustled to stay in the pickle to allow Hudson to score. I kept saying, 'take a look, take a look,' and he picked the right time to break for home with the fielder running toward second." Sandberg is referring to Barfield getting caught in a rundown in the fifth inning. You can almost hear the big wad of tobacco in his mouth! I recommend reading that quote out loud for maximum Old Baseball effect.
2. Yamaico Navarro hit his second triple of the year. No one else on the team has two.
3. Could Aceves be called up to replace Matsuzaka? Can anyone replace Matsuzaka? I wonder what Daisuke Matsuzaka is like as a person, like as a regular guy. Someone should do a Sunday newspaper piece on him, because I would read it.
4. Lehigh... Whoa ooooooh oooooh... He's for the money, he's for the show....
5. Rich Hill, Scott Atchison, and Clevelan Santeliz pitched an inning apiece and it was real clean, like my conscience. Too bad the game was essentially over.

Tonight! The Red Sox are home and facing the Toledo Mud Hens (DET), who just swept the Syracuse Chiefs. I am going to try to squeeze a game in on Monday, so perhaps I will see you there. If you go today it's Kyle Weiland v Andrew Oliver.

Tomorrow is May!

4.28.11 Red Sox @ Ironpigs - The thing you hate the most

Welcome to the Angry PawSox Blog, how may I help you?

PawSox win 11-8. Felix Doubront started, but he was on a pitch count so he only worked for three innings. Doubront threw 50 pitches, 30 for strikes, induced six groundouts.

Doubront was ably replaced by the nimble lefty Kris Johnson. Johnson came in for some minor league long relief, pitching three innings and giving up five runs on six hits, including a two-run homer by second baseman Josh Barfield. Second verse, same as the first.

But what about Lehigh Valley starter Ryan Feierabend? 3 2/3, ten runs on ten hits. Rough night. It was the fourth inning that brought Feierabend to his knees. It all started with back-to-back singles by Drew Sutton and Mike McKenry, although Sutton tried to get to third base and was thrown out.

An ensuing walk by Tony Thomas put runners on first and second for JC Linares. All he did was hit a home run to right! And with still only one out, Iglesias singled, Navarro doubled, and Nava brought home another run with a sac fly.

I'M NOT FINISHED YET! Josh Reddick hit yet another home run. Does that make you hungry? Hector Luna then walked and, hey! Here's Drew Sutton again! Perhaps to make up for being thrown out at third, Sutton hit an RBI double. 10-0 Pawtucket and finally they gently remove Feierabend. Reliever Scott Mathieson struck out McKenry to end the demolition.

Michael Bowden wound up getting the win. Good work, everybody. Not you, Kris Johnson.

well, this is gonna hurt like a motherfucker:
1. Reddick and Sutton, 3-5. These guys are fire oil. Reddick with two home runs. And Drew Sutton of all things. How pleasing.
2. No hits for Nava. No walks, either. Nava might as well not even exist at this school.
3. Okay, are we about done with Kris Johnson? He must be sweatin' it this season.
4. IronPigs manager Ryne Sandberg had hoped that Feierabend would go 5 or six, since the team lost Vance Worley by way of the call-up. Thanks a lot, the Phillies!
5. "On the scorecard, this looks like a loss but it was a great example of the difference between Huppert baseball compared with Sandberg baseball. We’ve seen blowouts like this before but the hustle and drive we’ve seen in the first few weeks of the season is nice to see." - from The Horn and Bell blog
6. So that was five Pawtucket home runs, eh? Forgot to mention that Navarro hit one, too.
7. "His last name is pronounced fear-BIN. Not sure how you get that pronounciation out of that but if he says fear-BIN, it works for me." - Stupid Scrankees blog

Tonight! One last game in Lehigh Valley, then home for a paltry four games v Toledo. Alfredo Aceves v spot starter Brian Gordon. It was supposed to be Vance Worley, but if you were paying attention I told you that Worley was called up.

Okay, you guys, get to work! I'll see you later at happy hour.

4.27.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Lehigh Valley IronPigs - Get it?

Rich Thompson WINS! 8-2. Pawtucket starter Brandon Q Duckworth takes the loss for Pawtucket, giving up eight runs on six hits during 3 2/3 innings. Part of the problem may also have been the five walks. Gee, that's not like him.

Contrariwise, IronPigs starter Brian Bass pitched five very nice one-run innings, then went and combed his hair and brushed his teeth.

Duckworth's tough night began in the first inning, when Rich Thompson and Kevin Frandsen hit back-to-back singles and then pulled off a double steal. Ah, to be young and cocky! Former PawSox muffin Brandon Moss then helpfully sac flied to to right, scoring Thompson.

Lehigh Valley boosted their score up to 3-0 in the second inning when catcher Erik Kratz hit an RBI double after a walk and a single... Problem is, Josh Barfield also tried to scamper home after Larish, but he was thrown out at home by a Reddick-Iggy relay. Kratz advanced to third on a wild pitch and then crossed the plate on a passed ball. Come on, guys, you're supposed to be professionals!

A solo home run by Reddick finally put Pawtucket on the board for a run in the fourth, but the bottom half of the inning is where things went kerflooey. Duckworth got two outs right away, but Barfield doubled, Kratz walked, and Rich Thompson was hit by a pitch. With Frandsen at bat, Duckworth threw a wild pitch and Barfield scored. Frandsen wound up walking, then left fielder Cory Sullivan walked in a run.

And that was it for Duckworth. I wonder what happened? Matt Fox grabbed hold of the reins, but he was stung by a Brandon Moss two-run double. Yes, Moss will do that.

That's about it, you guys. Uh, Hector Luna swatted in a run in the sixth but the rest of the night was quiet. Jason Rice pitched the bottom end of the game and kept things air-tight. One of the Lehigh Valley relievers was Juan Perez, also known as one of the nicest Pawtucket Red Sox players of all time. Good to see him still kicking around, but that's how it goes for a lefty.

underjoyed:
1. Josh Reddick has done a commendable job thus far. I hope he carries it throughout the season.
2. Brandon Moss went 2-3 with 4 RBI. Designated hitter Delwyn Young went 0-4.
3. For the Red Sox, Hector Luna went 3-4 with a double.
4. Luis Exposito had three passed balls.
5. Good story, Jeff Schuler, but Daniel Nova?
6. They call him "Duck" worth for a reason: With his two wild pitches, batters had to "Duck" out of the way. Heh heh. Is this thing on?
7. This one's not mine, I swear: "The Georgia native (Moss), who likes using his bow to hunt game, added to his collection by bagging a duck and a fox on Wednesday night." D'OOOHHHH!!!!!

Tonight! IronPigs lefty Ryan Feierabend v Felix Doubront. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well how very nice.

Yesterday's IronPigs (one word) game, moron.

Okay, I'm back from Waltham or whatever.

Pawtucket scored first thing, right away, top of the first, Nate Spears singled to right, yes. Yamaico Navarro was subsequently hit by a pitch, Reddick ground into a force out (Navarro out), Reddick stole second and Anderson hit a two-run single. POW, 2-0.

Lehigh Valley picked up a run of their own in the first when shortstop Kevin Frandsen hit an RBI single. Frandsen used to be on the Pawsox, not that you care. I care because it's my job to care.

So, yeah, more runs and suchlike. Let's skip to the goody-goody.

Two things:
1. JC Linares went 3-4 with a couple of RBI. Josh Reddick hit a solo home run. Hector Luna hit two doubles.
2. "If it wasn't for Kevin Frandsen we'd have been no-hit," said Brandon Moss said as he walked by Frandsen's locker. - Thank you, Jeff Schuler!
3. I forgot to tell you that Brandon Moss is with Lehigh Valley now. He went 0-4 last night. It was precious.
4. "Of Pawtucket's 12 hits, seven of them came with two strikes. All but one of the PawSox runs scored on two-strike hits, and five of those runs scored on two-out, two-strike hits." Schuler again, just brimming with information.
5. Do you understand the terms 'cap-shot' and 'jam-shot' when it comes to baseball? If not, you should probably talk to K. Frandsen.
6. "Just this morning, Frandsen offered to... FRANDSEN!"

TONIGHT! Brandon Duckworth, Brian Bass. Go ahead and scream your head off! We're miles from where anyone can hear you!

4.26.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Lehigh Valley IronPigs (one word)

Pawtucket WINS! 7-2. Andrew Miller gives up two runs (one unearned) on one hit through 5 2/3 and gets the dub. Lehigh Valley starter Eddie Bonine pitched six and gave up four runs, including a home run by Josh Reddick. Bonine takes the loss for the IronPigs (one word).

Oops, you know what the music means. Our time is up.

Sorry, I have to go to a thing in like Woburn or something. How do people wake up this early?

Ramp Champ #37: Bruce Hurst

Since last night's game was rained out and I know you want me to be your acrobat, here we have number 47, Bruce Hurst.

Bruce Hurst is a lefty pitcher who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1980 and 1981. He started 40 out of the 48 games he worked in. Hurst was just a youngster at the time, ages 22-23.

In 1980, Hurst went 8-6 with a 3.94 ERA. He pitched 105 innings through 17 games, which is... Carry the two... 6.17 innings per game.

Okay, I thought it would be more impressive. Promise me, son, not to do the things I've done. Walk away from numbers if you can.

In '81, Hurst was foolin' around, hittin' the town, growin' his hair. He went 12-7 with a 2.87 ERA. Hurst also pitched five shutout innings in the LGIBH. Good Valentine's.

Two things:
1. "It was unbelievably cold. The wind was blowing straight in. A couple balls that were just crushed got up in that wind and fell straight down. There were no heaters, but they had these big 55-gallon drums they used as trash cans. We were taking the broken bats and burning them in the drums. It was just a cold, cold night, with no relief and the wind cutting through you." - source

I like to think that if I had been there, I would have stayed. But I probably would not have because I find cold weather unbearable. Hey, people who know me, would I have stayed?

2. Bruce Hurst is Mormon? Hurst has a college baseball field named after him? And you say he pitched seven complete games for Pawtucket in 1981? And he was tied for second in the IL that same year with his 12 wins?

WHOA, I almost got socked with a virus doing search engine stuff... See if I ever visit a Baptist church website again!

Bruce Hurst is in the lobby of the first base tower. That's the one no one goes down, so be sure to make a special trip.

(Mural pic: Lil' Rhody Dan)

4.24.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Rochester Red Wings - Hallelujah!

9-3 Pawtucket. Ah Rochester! Ah humanity!

Rochester starting pitcher Anthony Swarzak did what now? Allowed seven runs on eight hits? And you say he pitched into the fifth inning before being replaced by Rene Tosoni? Well, shut your fucking mouth because Rene Tosoni is a position player, not a relief pitcher! It was in fact righty Carlos Gutierrez who took over for Swarzak and worked really hard for that last out in the fifth.

See, what had happened was the Red Sox were already up 3-0, but after Nava led off the fifth with a flyout, Navarro singled. And then Reddick flied out to center. So, easy, right>? Two outs? But Swarzak walked Drew Sutton and then Anderson to load the bases for Tony Thomas. You may be tempted to call him Tony the Tiger, but please don't. Thomas hit an RBI single and that was the end of the night for Swarzak.

And just as I mentioned earlier, Carlos Gutierrez jumped into the fire. Nate Spears was the first batter he faced and Spears hit a two-run single. So that was kind of a bummer. Even worse, McKenry hit an RBI single. At that point it was 7-0 and really, your heart just goes out to this team. Tough couple of years.

Rochester did score in the sixth, thanks to solo home run by catcher Rene Rivera. And the Wings scored another pair in the eighth when Clevelan Santeliz ran into some turbulance. But Drew Sutton hit a ground rule double in the top of the ninth which worked out great because Nate Spears was really working his magic bat. Spears singled, drove in Sutton... Wait, Tony Thomas was on base, too, because he'd walked... McKenry singled, too... And then I was driving and the road just kind of turned into a giant squid but my brakes didn't work... And then Jose Iglesias grounded into a double play but instead of Trevor Plouffe playing short it was my mother-in-law...

Well, what did you expect? Pawtucket had 15 hits. And it could all dry up when they face the Scrankees and the G-Braves and the Bats. There's a lot of season left.

Oops, in all the confusion I almost forgot Kyle Weiland. Weiland pitched six strong, 77 pitches and only one run on two hits. Bowden pitched the ninth, one two three. Something is clicking for Bowden as a closer-style pitcher. Do you find that interesting? Do you want to start a new post on the forum about it? I think you should do that.

cookies:
1. Drew Sutton went 3-4 with two doubles and he's TORRID IN NEW YORK. I try not to spit cliches, but that sounds like a great live album title.
2. Nate Spears also had three hits. Daniel Nava went 0-5. He should add "RRO" to the end of his name and start driving in some runs.
3. Carlos Gutierrez is some kind of first-round draft pick, who's still pretty zippy after Tommy John. Read all about how impressive and sexy he is here.
4. And Gutierrez on a podcast here at the world famous 'Seth Speaks'.
5. Jose Iglesias went 0-5 with three strikeouts. Everybody, commence panicking. Please program the sports radio station into your speed dial so you can shit-talk the kid, the organization, and Carl Crawford.

Today was a great day to do not much of anything. How bad do you not want to go to work tomorrow? Especially since you have that conference call.

Tomorrow! Rochester at about 6. Andrew Miller and Dorothy Manship.

GO, TEAM, GO!!!

4.23.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Rochester - Matt Fox is wild, I swear.

Red Wings take this one 9-7 in one of those weird games. Okay, how do both teams score 16 runs between them and the game was only two hours and twenty minutes? And what the hell did Blondie do to get ejected? Let me take you on a journey... And myself on one, too. Because I'm fucking innocent.

Let's start at the beginning... yada yada. Yorman Bazardo's got the ball for Rochester. Daniel Nava leads off with a single AND HERE WE GO MODEFOQUE!!! Navarro was then hit by a pitch... And then something really cool happened. Josh Reddick tripled and of course Nava and Navarro made it across. 2-0 PawSox! Good triple, Josh Reddick.

Hector Luna followed the triple off with an RBI single, scoring Reddick. Okay, I made the lineup and penciled Luna in and it didn't click, but Hector Luna's on the PawSox! And Drew Sutton! The IL just churns these guys around.

Bazardo escaped the first inning without further fuss, getting a GIDP for most of the outs. 3-0 Pawtucket, but for how long? Until the end of the world or the bottom of the third. Pawtucket starter Alfredo Aceves gave up three consecutive singles like, immediately. Which loaded the bases with no outs. A sac fly by shortstop Trevor Plouffe got the first run across... Then a single... Then the seldom seen sacrifice double play flyout by right fielder Dustin Martin. Hot Canadian piece Rene Tosoni got crazy on the basepaths and wound up out at second base. But that was the end of Aceves' start. Wait, why did he start?

Rochester killed the 3-3 tie in the fourth inning when Matt Fox gave up two solo homers. And on a school night, too. 5-3 Rochester. Pawtucket got one back in the top of the fifth when catcher Luis Exposito hit a solo home run of his own off reliever Anthony Slama.

Look, I'm dancing! Rochester got all high and mighty in the bottom of the fifth inning. Brian Dinkelman singled and then while Plouffe was batting, Fox threw a wild pitch, advancing Dinkelman. Dustin Martin hit a two-run double to make it 7-4 Red Wings. Another wild pitch scored Martin... 8-4 R-Wingz.

Top o' the sixth - Slama still pitching, hits both Navarro and Luna with pitches. This evidently hurt Luna's hand and he had to leave the game. Tony Thomas replaced Luna. Anderson got ejected for strike zone bitching. Drew Sutton hit a two-run double to right, making the score 8-6. Hey, are you done yet? I'm getting tired of holding this.

Okay, cool, I can skip ahead to the bottom of the eighth. With Jason Rice pitching, Rochester catcher Daniel Lehmann hit a solo home run. Danny Lehmann, sorry. 9-6 Rochester.

Wait, one more thing: Drew Sutton hit a solo home run for Pawtucket in the top of the ninth. Something tells me I'm into Sutton good! (Sorry.) Pointless act, though, because Rochester still won. That's okay, they needed it more. Poor little franchise.

I'm growin' an entire crop of marijuana plants in my parents back yard!
1. I don't know if you noticed, but weren't there quite a few solo home runs in this game? The answer is FIVE, even though that wasn't really the question. I break all the rules, tough guy.
2. Toby Gardenhire never hits home runs and everybody loves him. I like his father. You know... I LIKE him, like him.
3. JC Linares went 0-4 with two strikeouts.
4. Some video feat. Chase Lambin here.
5. Evidently Jose Canseco will be appearing at the Rochester ballpark in August.
6. Good game for Dustin Martin, who had three RBI. Who wants to dig a little deeper on this guy? I'll do it someday. There's a lion in that guy's pocket.

This afternoon, please enjoy Kyle Weiland and Anthony Swarzak as they tussle in the Flower City. It's also a holiday for all you non-heathens, so dig that. I am not doing anything today except maybe walk in the sunshine and pick some wildflowers and think about Dustin Martin and Ron Gardenhire.

You know, you might have invited me over. Thanks a lot. I hope you choke on your fucking ham.

4.21.11 Pawtucket Red Sox in Rochester.

Pawtucket wins 3-1. BUT WHAT ABOUT FELIX DOUBRONT??? Fuck you, go read about Doubront everywhere else. You only care about the PawSox if someone famous is there, you heartless wench.

Righty Andrew Baldwin started for the Rochester Red Wings and I already know what you are going to ask me and the answer is no: Baldwin is not part of the global apple empire. He pitched five and two-thirds innings and kept Pawtucket scoreless, despite a few scattered walks and hits. Well, scoreless until Navarro and Reddick hit back-to-back home runs. Then lefty Chuck James had to come in and the party wasn't really the same, everyone was deflated...

Rochester scored its only run in the fourth, when Trevor Plouffe homered off reliever (!) Kris Johnson. Johnson pitched three innings, Atchison tackled the seventh and eighth, and Michael Bowden came into the save situation in the ninth.

Geez, I guess that's everything.

migajas:
1. This game lasted two hours and 18 minutes, which was great because evidently it was freezing.
2. Oh, sorry, it's ANDY Baldwin.
3. Guess who is leading the Red Wings in walks? Jeff Bailey with 12. Yet he is not listed among the IL leaders, which probably means he is going to die soon.

Tonight it's... This afternoon, I meant. Yorman Bazardo v Matt Fox.

Ryan Kalish is in big trouble b/w Groins

I wonder who had to call Theo and tell him about Kalish's injury? I'll bet they tell him to lay off the heroics in the minors, but in a very subtle, spinnish way. Perhaps 'Now, Ryan, is it really worth throwing your career on the line for maybe a double?'

And with regard to Garrett Mock and his groin, I got to wondering: How do trainers and conditioning staff handle that? They have massage therapy, right? How do you go about massaging a player's groin while avoiding genital contact? Or do they even bother? Do the massage staff get all up in there? What if it moves?

Not even Doug Glanville can answer this question.

4.21.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Syracuse Chiefs - Mock Trial

Pawtucket WINS! And how! 14-0. Syracuse starter Garrett Mock is, I suppose, still not fully recovered from his neck injury. Or, most recently, his groin injury. It was perhaps one of the worst starts by a visiting pitcher that I have ever seen. It was hard to watch at times.

Garrett Mock gave up eight runs in two innings. Was Pawtucket cranking out hits? No. It was not a slugfest. It was a walkfest. Seven walks. Seven! Four of the runs were walked in.

Garrett Mock faced five batters in the third inning and could not get an out. Chiefs lefty Lee Hyde took over and was really not much better. Hyde gave up four runs, giving up six hits and walking two. Reliever Adam Carr was really the only effective Syracuse relief, going a couple of scoreless innings and only walking one batter.

The only Chiefs reliever who didn't give up a walk was Jeff Frazier. Who is a position player. Yes, it was that kind of game. I think Josh Wilkie went out and played right field...

I don't even know where to go with this. It was a crazy game and I would have stayed for the whole thing if the wind hadn't been so cold. And lonesome.

break it down:
1. Daniel Nava is a walking MACHINE! Three in this game, making him an IL leader.
2. Reddick and McKenry also took three walks.
3. Nate Spears had to come in for Kalish, who is probably in really big trouble. Spears hit a grand slam and was rewarded with a HBP. He had to have seen that coming.
4. Red Sox starter Brandon Duckworth was terrific again, pitching seven scoreless innings. Clevelan Santeliz finished the game off like a fabulous apricot pie, further demeaning and demoralizing Syracuse.
5. For Syracuse, Corey Brown and Carlos Mirabelli went 2-4. So that was good.
6. Brian Bixler was replaced in this game. I guessed correctly that he'd been called up. BRIAN BIXLER?! Oh, The Nationals.

By the way, Drew Sutton got a hit at the top of the third. He hit the ball leftward and it fell between three Syracuse fielders. It could have been an error. There was no ruling either way when I was there, so everyone was left hanging. UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!

Tomorrow! Rochester? What, again? Pawtucket's not playing a non-NY team until the 26th, when they face Lehigh Valley. You know, the IronPigs. All one word. I have been typing 'Iron Pigs' this whole time and no one corrected me. What am I, Brendan McGair?

In all fairness, McGair's really stepped it up this season, doing some pretty interesting work. That man is getting after it for real! If I ever see him out and about, I'll buy him a beer! But just one, because I like to save my money so I can buy more beer for myself.

Also, I am certain he would act like he had no idea who I was.

EXCELSIOR!

Cookies near McCoy Stadium

Who among us does not like cookies? My favorite cookies in Rhode Island these days can be purchased right near the ballpark. It's a very small, oldish bakery hidden away on York. I am talking about their 'Best Ever' chocolate chip cookies. I think they are fantastic.

I really mean it.

This has been a story about cookies near McCoy Stadium.

4.20.11 Pawtucket v Syracuse - Chiefin'

Sorry, Tennessee. Pawtucket relievers finally stumble and blow the game 6-3. Reliever Tony Pena gets the loss, the blown save, the Razzie, and the Grammy for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group. Syracuse lefty Ross Detwiler got the win.

Red Sox starter Andrew Miller pitched six one-run innings. He struck out three of the Chiefs, most notably that crazy Corey Brown character.

Tony Pena pitched the seventh inning and it was raining in his heart. The first batter Pena faced, center fielder Corey Brown, reached first on an error by Anderson. It's really hard to field well when you're stoned. The balls just look so soft and pretty...

Oh, yeah, then Jhonatan Solano homered. It was Solano's second cuadrangular of the year. Pena got the next two batters out, but then Bernadina singled and stole second (I love this guy!) Then, oh, oops, Brian Bixler RBI single. 4-3 Chiefs.

Rich Hill also pitched two innings.

And what about Pawtucket's offense? Yamaico Navarro hit an RBI single in the third. Navarro has been really great so far. I like him so much more than I ever like Jorge Jimenez. There were another couple of runs. but they're too dull to contemplate.

they put you down and shut you out:
1. "Andrew Miller Feeling Good About His Command." That's a weird headline. Next time someone asks how I am, I'll say "I feel good about my command!" I'll say it to my boss. He's a real locked-in corporate conformist. I'll bet he adopts it at his CORPORATE CONFORMIST SUIT MEETINGS!!!!!
2. Tony Thomas was picked off and caught stealing. I still think that cat is crazy.
3. Rich Hill picked off Seth Bynum. Seth Bynum reminds me of Freddy Bynum, who I never much cared for. You know who else bugs me? Mark Ellis. He always looked so pasty and weird to me. No one has ever bought a Mark Ellis jersey.

This is unbearable. Good news, everyone. I get to go to the game today while you're toiling away in your CORPORATE CONFORMIST cubicle. I don't know who is pitching and I don't care. SMASH THE STATE! YOU CAN CRUSH US, YOU CAN BRUISE US!

I love you.

4.19.11 Pawtucket v Syracuse - Ludgate

Pawtucket wins again, 3-1. I'll bet Pawtucket and Syracuse are getting really sick of each other. Starting pitcher Kyle Weiland pitched five innings, giving up one run on three hits. Weiland also walked four, struck out four, and ate petit-fours. Yes, K-Dub got the win.

Pawtucket scrounged up seven hits off Syracuse Chiefs starter Yunesky Maya over his six innings of Labour (party).

Wait, the interesting thing is that all of the runs in the game were scored in the first two innings. Syracuse scored first, when Bixler and Bernadina led the game off with a single and a double, respectively. First baseman Chris Marrero sac flied, scoring Bixler from third to lay a one-nothing on your cold, wet asses.

Bottom of the first - Kalish, single. Navarro, walk. Reddick, single. POW, bases loaded, no outs. Yunesky Maya, what happened, baby? And then! Tony Thomas steps in and it would have been crazy if he'd hit one out.... But no, he struck out.

What really happened was Lars Anderson hit a two-run single. GOD, WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?!

Maya managed to dispatch of Linares and Nava to end the inning. But when catcher Mike McKenry walked in the bottom of the third and advanced to second on a balk, Ryan Kalish saw an opportunity to raise his estimation in the eyes of the Savior and hit a liner to right, scoring McKenry. It was Kalish's third double of the year.

The Chiefs were held scoreless by the bullpen, which has been pretty solid so far in April. Boston kid Matt Albers slapped up a couple of innings. Seventeen of Albers' 27 pitches were for strikes. Jason Rice pitched a tidy eighth, and Atchison got the save for the PawSox. That is some fucking teamwork right there. God bless those boys.

Matt Chico did some relief work after Maya's exit, pitching two scoreless with three strikeouts.

vegetable loaf:
1. Yamaico Navarro walked twice. I love seeing this walking from him. Currently, though, Nava is number one on the team for bases on balls. I would not have guessed that.
2. Yunesky Maya wound up throwing 118 pitches. That's quite astonishing. Obviously the Nationals hate his guts, making him do all that in the shitty April weather.
3. Pawtucket's win put them in first place in the IL North division.! Bacon and Biscuits? More like... like... Textiles and water-powered energy!
4. Audio game highlights! I am still VERY ANGRY that archived games are no longer available on the IL site. Maybe I'll record the games on cassette off the radio. I'll just tape over all those Expose and Whitesnake songs.

Tonight! Syracuse again! Andrew Miller and Ross Detwiler, probably.

And now it's time to go away on holiday...

4.18.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Syracuse Chiefs - Babyhead

I don't want Matt Fox to be another Adam Mills. Fox pitched well last night.... Or Syracuse played poorly, either way. Pawtucket won 5-1 and Fox went six, giving up one run (solo homer by outfielder Corey Brown) on four hits. Fox had six strikeouts and the Chiefs certainly have something to say about that!

Righty JD Martin started for the Chiefs and it didn't go so well. Martin was pulled in the fourth inning after striking out Yamaico Navarro. He started off okay, thought, gettting the side to fly out in order in the fist inning.

But the second inning... Tony Thomas, animal that he is, led it off with a home run. No joke, folks. Photos prove it was Tony Thomas and not Mark David Chapman hitting that home run.

Anderson and Nava each singled and then catcher Luis Exposito made it to second on a wacky outfield error, bringing Anderson home.

Inning three proved to be even more challenging for Martin. Navarro singled to left, Reddick hit a home run. Tony Thomas walked, Anderson singled. Drew Sutton singled, scoring Thomas. Daniel Nava walked to load the bases.

That was it, though, BCUZ Exposito grounded into a force and Jose Iglesias grounded into a seldom seen 1-2-3 double play. 5-1 PawSox!

Innings 4-9 were essentially all bullpen, as all the run-scoring was in bed for the night. Clevelan Santeliz pitched 1 2/3 and Bowden came in for the rest, sort of looking like 2010 Michael Bowden when he immediately gave up back-to-back singles in the top of the ninth. He sure is good at fixing his fucking pants after every pitch, though. Damn you look good, son.

fast cars, cheap thrills, rich girls, fine wine:
1. The 30th anniversary of the Longest Game in Baseball History celebration was very low-key. Dave Koza threw out the first pitch and there was a video. That's it.
2. Lars Anderson went 3-3 with a double. GOD, HE'S SO ANNOYING!!!
3. Tony Thomas is second in the IL for slugging and OPS. I'm sure you know all about him, but three months ago I hadn't even heard of the guy. And now this. This is why I love baseball.
4. Santeliz was replaced by Bowden because he felt something funny in his back.
5. "JD Martin seems best suited to the role of starting pitcher and is well known to both Knorr and Syracuse as the staff ace the past couple of years. He doesn’t have the kind of stuff needed to be a true relief specialist whereas Chico still might and it might be a way for Chico to find his way back to the majors." - comment by 'peric' on 'Nationals Arm Race'
6. Brian Bixler has a weird batting stance and holds his bat strangely. Jeff Frazier has serious asshole face.
7. "Yamaico Navarro se fue de 6-2, con su quinto doble y recibió cuatro bases por bolas en la doble victoria en casa de Pawtucket (Boston) por 2-1 en 10 entradas y 10-6 sobre Buffalo en la Liga Internacional." - 7dias
8. I can't remember where I read this, but someone said, "Jose Iglesias is slumping." I hope that person was not even serious.
9. Oh, here it is!

TONIGHT! I'm returning to the park! Kyle Weiland v Yunesky Maya! It's a motherfucking Y-Fest! YES!

PS Jim Martin was doing PA last night. I WAS INFORMED THAT HE HAD RETIRED. Why are you messing with my emotions?

4.17.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons - cumpleaños del mero mero

Pawtucket WINS! 10-6. Starting pitcher K Johnson gets the win for the Red Sox, pitching five innings and giving up two runs on four hits. Bisons starter Josh Stinson took the loss, giving up six runs during his four-inning start.

Okay, let's get crackalackin. Things looked shaky for Johnson in the first inning when he immediately gave up a single to Jason Pridie to lead the game off. Justin Turner hopped on the downtown train and doubled to left to put runners on the corners. A sac fly by first basedude Nick Evans scored Pridie and a double by DH Zach Lutz put the Bisons up 2-0.

Pawtucket failed to respond until the bottom of the third, when Exposito, Sutton, and Anderson all doubled. I don't feel the need to hash over who did what, but Kalish singled and Navarro walked and Reddick stole second in some order. When the dust settled it was 4-2.

The Red Sox put up a deuce in the bottom of the fourth, courtesy of a Nate Spears solo homer and an RBI double by Navarro. Navarro again! I might be getting excited about him.

Bisons lefty Michael O'Connor put his beer down and came out of the bullpen for the fifth inning. O'Connor got Drew Sutton to pop out, but Anderson lined a single to left and Nate spears walked and stuff... Gaaaah.

Do we really need to finish this? It's not like anyone's reading it. I'll skip to the end.

Man and wife:
1. Wait, Rich Hill! I love that guy! Hill saved the game because Jason Rice was having a rough go. He pitched almost three innings. Still hasn't given up a run. I wanna wear his jacket. I saw a picture of him holding two cats and let me tell you, you would just lose it if you saw it. He looks like a PIMP.
2. Matt "Fat" Albers also did some relief work.
3. Is Dusty Ryan the Matt Lecroy of Buffalo? Four stolen bases by four runners, see if you can guess who. One of them is not Drew Sutton. Also, Ethel did not bring gelatin to the party, but she wore a green hat.
4. When I was in Buffalo I ate at this cute neighborhood breakfast place that had terrific home fries. It was mildly arty and on a one-way street. Just outside downtown. I cannot remember the name so I am hoping you can help me.
5. Buffalo starter Josh Stinson was called up from double-A to replace Dillon Gee, who's with the Mets now.

TONIGHT! Me! 30th anniv.! Syracuties! Matt Fox and JD Martin! Popcorn!

No, not popcorn. Are you kidding me? I don't eat popcorn. Jesus Christ, put down the bong.