7.1.10 Imposter Run Scoring Team v Team That Is Struggling

Struggling Team WINS! 8-6. Yes, Pawtucket lost, but look at how many runs they've been scoring lately! And it is official... Bubba Bell has an armadillo in his trousers.

Kris Johnson gave up nine hits but the Yankees only managed two runs. Lefty Kason Gabbard was not a very good reliever... he jumped into the game in the eighth inning and only managed to get one out. Five Scranton runs can be blamed on Gabbard. Three walks! Three hits! And everyone was there with their families, their small children, gathered to celebrate and see some fireworks... and, you know, maybe see the home team beat the Yankees! And everything was going fine but KASON GABBARD made the children scream in agony... brother turned against brother... the fireworks lost their sizzle... oh god, there was blood everywhere...

For crying out loud. Why not just bring back guys like Chad Spann or Craig Hansen? Jeff Corsaletti or Lincoln Holdzkom? Strongly. Worded. Letter.

Okay, Ivan Nova. Great name. Nova flounced his way through seven innings and held the suddenly power-mad PawSox to three runs. Those three runs were all Bubba Bell's, as he hit a humdinger in the third inning. Royce Ring pitched a scoreless eighth and Zack Segovia was all confident entering the ninth inning with a 8-3 lead.

And then! PawSox fans' hopes were ignited when it looked like Pawtucket was gonna mount a comeback. The unreliable Aaron Bates flew out, but then Jorge Jimenez graciously accepted a walk. Velazquez singled. So far, so what? New catcher that no one ever heard of Daniel Butler struck out... two outs for Segovia!

Then Niuman Romero hit a home run! Everyone was so excited. 8-6 Scranton! Dave Miley had seen enough of Segovia, though, and brought in star closer Albaladejo. Tug Hulett was clearly intimidated and flew out to center field. Awww... That's okay. It's not Hulett's fault that he's an older version of Travis Denker.

energy:
1. Rich Hill made his first PawSox appearance and I'm sorry I missed it. I love how these miscellaneous players pop up in triple-A. Like, oh, hi, Jason Lane is on the PawSox now.
2. Tommy Hottovy took over after Gabbard crapped his pants on the mound. Hottovy is gonna be 29 in a few days. I can not even believe it.
3. Jorge Jimenez made two errors. AND THEY STAY THERE! AND THEY STAY THERE!
4. Jonathan Albaladejo has tied the all-time saves record for Scranton Wilkes-Barre.
5. Is Albaladejo a harder-throwing Colter Bean?

6. I can't stop talking about Donnie Collins! Here, Collins discusses the Yankees triple-A all-stars.
7. Kason Gabbard likes to have a good time. Gross!
8. You might as well read Dan Hoard's account of Daniel Butler's meteoric rise to Pawtucket. You won't find any better.

Tonight! Fresh double-A meat David Phelps will hopefully out-pitch Michael Bowden. No offense... I just think it would be a cute story for Phelps. Wait, you ask, don't you hate the Yankees?

Yes. Yes, I do.

6.30.10 PAW v SWB - I Am Serving Excitement

Are you excited? I know I am! Pawtucket wins 6-5, no thanks to Fernando Cabrera. Still, I would empty my bank accounts for this man if he asked me to. Of course, baby, anything you need...

Felix Doubront could be fascinating. Doub... I wanna call him 'Doubie' so bad. I have to suppress that urge. Next thing you know, it'll be 'Brownie' this and 'Batesy' that. I'm not in a place to throw that around.

Doubront was dazzling no one last night, but it was a serviceable start. He only worked five innings, but his pitch count was creeping up and he seemed fatigued by the fifth inning. Doubront immediately gave up two singles at the top of the ninth and then walked that PJ Pilittere asshole to load the bases with no outs.

Doubront managed to get the guy batting ninth (Golson) to strike out, but then he walked in a run with leadoff guy Justin Christian. Damn, there're a lot of outfielders named Justin. A rehabbing Marcus Thames followed that with an RBI single to left, changing the 5-0 score to 5-2.

Doubront then struck out Nunez and Montero to end the inning.

Enormous Yankees starter Romulo Sanchez had problems of his own. Pawtucket got a sac fly run in the first, but the second inning might be the one you'd want to record and watch over and over again. Tug Hulett hit a two-run double and fresh young mind Juan Apodaca hit a massive two-run homer. I was there! 5-0 Pawtucket at that point.

Scranton reliever Jason Hirsh took over for Sanchez and man, is he tall! Hirsh finished off the rest of the game and confounded the Pawtucket kids, who were unable to score additional runs.

Fabio Castro and Chad Paronto worked together to provide excellent relief... Tommy Hottovy came in for the ninth and I don't know, he looked good but he got the hook after two outs. Fernando Cabrera trotted out from the pen to face pinch hitter Jeff Natale. Natale rather rudely hit a two-run single to bring the score to 6-4. Cabrera walked Nunez and gave up a double to superstar Jesus Montero. Etc. Thankfully, Jorge Vazquez struck out to end the inning, but dude, that was too close. Cabrera came pretty close to ruining Christmas... Montero's ball hopped into the bullpen for a ground rule double, but imagine if it just rattled around in the corner? TIE GAME.

THIS IS THE BEST PART RIGHT HERE:
1. Evidently, Felix Doubront has a three-year-old son. Isn't he, like, 20?
2. PJ PILITTERE BROKE DUSTY BROWN'S THUMB! PJ PILITTERE BROKE DUSTY BROWN'S THUMB! I know he got plunked for it, but he deserves another one. Let's get that guy!
3. Niuman Romero is growing on me. Romero went 2-3 with a double. Lars Anderson went 0-4 with a couple of strikeouts... Anderson was not happy with home plate ump Chris Conroy, but screw that! I like Conroy!
4. All he does is win? Jorge Jimenez is really popular, but last night he went 0-4. Slugger Ryan Shealy also went 0-4.
5. Ha ha! Bubba Bell and Robert Manuel have to go to the All-Star Game while their teammates sleep all day, smoke weed, and play video games!
6. Reegie Corona and Reid Gorecki executed a lovely double steal in the fifth inning. Next time you sing 'Copacabana', you can insert 'Reegie Corona' and it works nicely.
7. Oh wow, look. Marcus Thames. I mean... Marcus Thames.
8. I had no idea Eduardo Nunez was some kind of hotshot.
9. Oh, wow, look. It's Jeff Natale.
10. (This number left blank intentionally. Please write something nice about Tug Hulett.)

Tonight! Ivan Nova, Kris Johnson. Nova could totally squish Johnson. That would be ideal, actually.

6.29.10 Scranton Wilkes-Boring is Back.

7-1 Pawtucket! Adam Mills? Yes.

I feel like we just saw this Redding/Mills matchup a week ago. Except Mills was much better last night. Seven one-run innings is a good start. And Robert Manuel and Kason Gabbard split the last pair of innings and provided scoreless relief for the PawSox.

Aging righty Tim Redding got the start for the Yankees. Redding kept Pawtucket to two runs until the sixth inning, when Aaron Bates led the inning off with a single. Designated hitter Ryan Kalish hit another single with one out in the inning, allowing mega-star Tug Hulett to hit a two-run double. 4-0 Pawtucket!

Scranton scored their first run in the top of the seventh inning when Rene Rivera hit an RBI single. PJ Pilittere also tried to cross the plate on Rivera's hit, but he was thrown out at home by the ordinarily useless Josh Reddick. Good work, Reddick. This pissed off Yankees manager Dave Miley enough to get him ejected while he was arguing the tag at home plate.

And then the Lord Jesus Christ finally tore himself away from the Astros game and said, "Mark Melancon... tonight is not going to be your night. Learn from your suffering." Melancon's first order of the night was to strike out Velazquez. Okay, easy enough. But then he walked Jimenez. And Niuman Romero. And hit Aaron Bates with a pitch. I'll bet Melancon thought he had an easy out when Lars Anderson came to the plate... not so, amigo! Anderson could have walked, I guess, but instead he doubled, scoring Niuman and Jorge. (They said I could call them that.)

Ryan Kalish added a third run to the inning when he hit a ground ball and reached on a fielder's choice. "Fielder's Choice" sounds like something you might call one of those cheap condom brands you buy at dirty convenience stores. You know... the ones that sell incense and roses in glass tubes.

Anyway, Bates scores on the Kalish deal and it's 7-1 Pawtucket. And that was it.

two things:
1. Lars Anderson hit two doubles last night. Tug Hulett walked three times. On my ceiling.
2. Pawtucket could really have piled on the runs, but... you know. They left 11 guys on base. Ryan Shealy should have been in the lineup. Then you would have seen a motherfucking PASTING!!!!
3. Well, so much for my PawSox game live blog idea... these assholes got the jump on me.
4. Damn it! Well, that has sufficiently ruined my morning. Oh, well.
5. Gustavo Molina's been called up. I love how no one confirmed anything for like a week. I'll bet Dusty brown is super pissed off!

Tonight! Doubront v Romulo Sanchez. See you there... YES.

6.28.10 Pawtucket @ Syrcause - As long as we can make it to the game tonight...

Pawtucket goes DOWN, 9-4. Ramon Ramirez did not start as planned. It was Robert Coello.

Coello didn't have his usual zing. He only pitched 3 2/3 innings and gave up six runs. Only three were earned, since Gil Velazquez made a fielding error in the fourth that put runners on the corners. Gil Velazquez... okay, never mind.

Wait, I wanna discuss the fourth inning. Pawtucket was down 3-0. Starter Shairon Martis was doing his thing. Jorge Jimenez led the inning off and reached first on an outfield error. And then right fielder (?) Niuman Romero hit an RBI double to make the score 3-1.

Ryan Shealy batted next and surprisingly, flew out. Lars Anderson followed that first out with a walk and Aaron Bates hit a three-run homer. So that was good. Yay Aaron Bates and such. 4-3 Red Sox.

But try not to get too excited, even though someone as fascinating and intellectual as Aaron Bates may do that to a person. Syracuse had no intention of being beaten by the sluggardly PawSox. With a runner on first, outfielder Boomer Whiting got on base when Velazquez mishandled a ground ball. Second baseman Chase Lambin then hit an RBI double to tie the game. Chase Lambin is a doubles machine, much like Brandon Moss was back in 2007. Lambin is third in the league with 23 doubles.

But enough about Cold Lambin. Mrs Jason Botts batted next and hit a two-run single. 6-4 Syracuse! End of the night for Coello! Paronto replaced RC and got the final out.

Paronto went on to pitch another two innings, giving up the seventh run. Robert Manuel uncharacteristically did not pitch a scoreless inning, instead opting to help the Chiefs score another pair of runs.

Kason Gabbard pitched the final inning without further incident. Pawtucket had no chance versus the likes of relievers Garate, Bergmann, and Wilkie and could not add to their run total. Syracuse takes 3 out of 4.

last night in syracuse put me in a haze:
1. I like Gil Velazquez and I'm not happy about witnessing his decline. Yes, I know he's coming off an injury, but even before he was injured, he had a few problems. That's how it goes in O.B., I guess.
2. Lars Anderson and Niuman Romero each doubled. I don't know how much time Romero has spent in the outfield, but since he started off his PawSox career as a second baseman-type, I can't help but think he looks weird out there. Except not quite as weird as Javier Lopez looked in 2009. Poor guy.
3. The Chiefs hit five doubles last night! Lambin, Whiting, Maxwell, Duncan, and Burke. Jason Botts hit a home run in the third inning off Coello.
4. "We all talk to each other. It is the best clubhouse I have ever been a part of in Triple-A." - Chase Lambin on being a Chief.
5. Chase Lambin also got a farewell party when he left his hometown for Nats camp. Please enjoy his Chiba Lotte Marines song and his accompanying awkward dance!
6. Chase Lambin is cute and I would probably set you guys up, but he has a girlfriend/wife.
7. PawSox starter Robert Coello hit Justin Maxwell and Jason Burke with pitches.

And this is completely unrelated to anything, but are you from Worcester? How in the hell do you explain this? And how have I never heard of it until today? Looks like it's time to attend a Worcester Tornadoes baseball game!

Tonight! PawSox return to McCoy! Tim Redding and Adam Mills again? How can a girl be so lucky!?

JASON BOTTS!!!

My Spanish game summary translated back into English.

Pawtucket 8-1 OFFENSE YEAH!

Before starting, I just want to point out that guys like David Pauley even were able to string a few good starts at the minor league.

Right son Michael Bowden to Pawtucket and started talking to everybody "in it, although it does not hear a word they're saying. Bowden pitched six innings and allowed one run and four hits. And three walks. Bowden walks a lot of hitters. Bowden walks more hitters Kris Johnson. Bowden has walked batters per inning 2.693 gable. I did the math. Bowden has issued more than anyone walking on the PawSox and is 15th in the league walks.

Colin Balester did not start the game, although I considered it so they are. I do not feel like shit changed. It's bad enough that misspelled Balester. Jason Jones started and was a disaster. Who cares about Jason Jones? Jones only worked two innings (entered in the third, but could not get out) and was hung with the loss after the Red Sox stuck with six runs. Ha ha.

Therefore, I want to talk about the offense? Absolutely! (I will Fernando Cabrera save for last.) Ryan continues to make me mourn tears of gratitude for his greatness as a bat. Shealy went 3-4 with a homer and a double and only needs a triple for the cycle. It might have been able to get one, if Colin Balester had not linked the good in the fourth inning. I surfers were non-violent drug addicts? Right? Does being an athlete Meathead remove it? COLIN?!

Pawtucket dizzying tug began early, when Shealy hit his two-run double. Launch of the second, Juan Apodaca hit an RBI double. But it was the third inning when they scored five runs Pawtucket ... Shealy's two-run homer and a three-run blast by Josh Reddick. Yes, Josh Reddick. Do not bury him because he is not dead yet.

The PawSox have evidently got lucky, because not score any runs for the rest of the game. Syracuse is the first in their division for a reason. It was time arrived exciting.

Relievers Tommy Hottovy (two entries) and Fernando Cabrera kept the rest of the game scoreless. Cabrera had a 1-2-3 ninth with two strikeouts. Eleven pitches, eight of them were strikes. Oh, hell. View a performance like that would be like watching porn for me.

Oh, go, Where do I start?
1. Gil Velázquez hit leadoff! Wow!
2. Pitching coach Rich Sauveur was ejected from the game. I guess it had something to do with Bowden resist the call. Balks are so controversial.
3. Welcome to Rhode Island, Juan Apodaca! Hope you like the states with inferiority complexes!
4. Jason Jones Heads starter had just been promoted from Double-A Harrisburg. Better luck next time, kid.
5. I just found out that David Pauley has been recalled by Seattle. COINCIDENCE?

Tonight! Syracuse! Shairon Martis! Ramon Ramirez Icky! After going home tomorrow ... I can not wait.

Shealy!!

My last game summary translated into Spanish.

8-1 Pawtucket OFENSA YEAH!

Antes de comenzar, sólo quiero señalar que los tipos como David Pauley siquiera eran capaces de encadenar una buenas salidas pocas a nivel de ligas menores.

Diestro hijo Michael Bowden comenzó a Pawtucket y hablando de todo el mundo "en él, a pesar de que no se oye una palabra de lo que estás diciendo. Bowden lanzó seis entradas y permitió una carrera y cuatro hits. Y tres bases por bolas. Bowden camina un montón de bateadores. Bowden camina más bateadores de Kris Johnson. Bowden ha caminado 2,693 bateadores por entrada a dos aguas. Hice la matemática. Bowden ha emitido más de lo que nadie camina sobre el PawSox y está 15 º en la liga por bases por bolas.

Colin Balester no comenzó el juego, aunque yo lo consideraba así son. No me siento como mierda cambiarlo. Ya es bastante malo que escribe mal Balester. Jason Jones comenzó y fue un desastre. ¿Quién se preocupa por Jason Jones? Jones sólo trabajó dos entradas y un tercio (entró en el tercero, pero no pudo obtener un cabo), y fue colgado con la pérdida después de los Medias Rojas lo clavó con seis carreras. Ja, ja.

Por lo tanto, quiero hablar de la ofensa? Claro que sí! (Voy a salvar a Fernando Cabrera para el final.) Ryan sigue me hacen llorar lágrimas de gratitud por su grandeza de murciélago. Shealy se fue 3-4 con un jonrón y un doble y sólo necesita un triple para el ciclo. Tal vez habría podido conseguir una, si Colin Balester no lo había vinculado el bien en el cuarto inning. Pensé surfistas fueron drogadictos no violentos? ¿No? ¿Ser un atleta Meathead cancelar eso? COLIN?!

Pawtucket de vértigo remolcador comenzó temprano, cuando Shealy conectó su doble de dos carreras. Inicio de la segunda, Juan Apodaca pegó un doble productor. Pero fue la tercera entrada cuando anotaron cinco carreras Pawtucket ... jonrón de dos carreras Shealy y la onda expansiva de tres carreras de Josh Reddick. Sí, Josh Reddick. No enterrarlo porque él no está muerto todavía.

El PawSox evidentemente, tienen suerte, porque no anotó ningún corre para el resto del juego. Siracusa es el primero en su división por una razón. Ya era hora llegaron emocionante.

Calmantes Tommy Hottovy (dos entradas) y Fernando Cabrera mantuvo el resto del juego sin anotación. Cabrera tuvo una novena entrada de 1-2-3 con dos ponches. Once lanzamientos, ocho de ellos fueron strikes. Oh, el infierno. Ver una actuación así no sería como ver porno para mi.

oh, vaya, ¿Por dónde empiezo?
1. Gil Velázquez bateó primer bate!
2. El coach de pitcheo ricos Sauveur fue expulsado de este juego. Supongo que tenía algo que ver con la convocatoria se resisten Bowden. Se Planta son tan controvertido.
3. Bienvenido a Rhode Island, Juan Apodaca! Espero que te gusten los estados con complejos de inferioridad!
4. Jefes de arranque Jason Jones acababa de ser promovido de doble A de Harrisburg. Mejor suerte la próxima vez, muchacho.
5. Me acabo de enterar de que David Pauley ha sido convocado por Seattle. COINCIDENCIA?

¡Esta noche! Syracuse! Shairon Martis! Icky Ramón Ramírez! Luego a casa mañana ... No puedo esperar.

SHEALY!!!!

6.27.10 Syracuties make sad faces.

8-1 Pawtucket YEAH OFFENSE!!

Before I begin, I just want to point out that even guys like David Pauley were capable of stringing together a few good starts at the minor league level.

Right-handed youngster Michael Bowden started for Pawtucket and everybody's talkin' at him, even though he don't hear a word they're sayin'. Bowden pitched six innings and gave up a run on four hits. And three walks. Bowden walks a lot of batters. Bowden walks more batters than Kris Johnson. Bowden has walked 2.693 batters per inning pitched. I did the math. Bowden has issued more walks than anyone on the PawSox and is 15th in the league for bases on balls.

Colin Balester did not start this game, even though I listed him thusly. I don't fucking feel like changing it. Bad enough I spelled 'Balester' wrong. Jason Jones started and was a disaster. Who cares about Jason Jones? Jones only worked two innings (he entered the third, but could not get an out) and was hung with the loss after the Red Sox nailed him with six runs. Ha, ha. Ha.

So, wanna talk about the offense? I sure do! (I'll save Fernando Cabrera for last.) Ryan Shealy continues to make me weep tears of gratitude for his bigness of bat. Shealy went 3-4 with a home run and a double and only need a triple for the cycle. Maybe he could have gotten one, if Colin Balester hadn't pegged him good in the fourth inning. I thought surfers were non-violent stoners? No? Does being a meathead jock cancel that out? COLIN?!

Pawtucket's giddy run-scoring started early, when Shealy hit his two-run double. Top of the second, Juan Apodaca hit an RBI double. But it was the third inning when Pawtucket scored five runs... Shealy's two-run homer and Josh Reddick's three-run blast. Yes, Josh Reddick. Don't bury him cause he's not dead yet.

The PawSox evidently got lucky, because they didn't score any runs for the rest of the game. Syracuse is first in their division for a reason. It's about time they got exciting.

Relievers Tommy Hottovy (two innings) and Fernando Cabrera kept the remainder of the game scoreless. Cabrera had a 1-2-3 ninth inning with two strikeouts. Eleven pitches, eight of them for strikes. Oh, hell. Watching a performance like that would be like watching porn for me.

oh, geez, where do i start?
1. Gil Velazquez batted leadoff! Wow!
2. Pitching coach Rich Sauveur was ejected from this game. I presume it had something to do with Bowden's balk call. Balks are so controversial.
3. Welcome to Rhode Island, Juan Apodaca! Hope you like states with inferiority complexes!
4. Chiefs starter Jason Jones had just been promoted from double-A Harrisburg. Better luck next time, kid.
5. I just found out that David Pauley has been called up by Seattle. COINCIDENCE?

Tonight! Syracuse! Shairon Martis! Icky Ramon Ramirez! Then home tomorrow... I can't wait.

SHEALY!!!!

6.26.10 Pawtucket Red Sox (BOS) @ Syracuse Chiefs (WAS)

Syracuse WINS! 6-1. Ha. Ha. Ha.

If lefty-lefty matchups induce turgidness in your crotchal region, then this was the game for you. I don't know too much about Matt Chico (sounds like a tough guy from a B/W Western), but he seems popular? I'll tell you a whole bunch more about Chico... later on.

Matt Chico pitched 5 2/3 innings, only giving up one run on five hits. Chico walked three batters and struck out four. His Rhode Island opponent, Felix Doubront, worked five innings... god, this is boring. Doubront balked and hit two batters, is that exciting?

Gabbard, Large, and Hottovy all got a piece after Doubront finished for the night. Gabbard gave up a home run. I think Gabbard was Jeff Bailey's roomie one summer. One word: Copious.

let me do this first:
1. Batting coach Gerald Perry was ejected.
2. Bubba Bell has finally been moved up in the lineup! Bell batted second and went 2-3. I never really liked Bell until he started heating up. This is because I am the worst type of bandwagon fan.
3. Kevin Mench is still alive?
4. Tommy Hottovy! Hottovy entered the game at the bottom of the seventh with the bases loaded and one out. TH induced a double play and went on to pitch a scoreless, hitless eighth. He then flipped off TJ large.

and now let's talk about Matt Chico:
1. Chico had Tommy John surgery in 2008.
2. MC was called up to the Nationals this year and then DFA'd. Was that weird? Maybe... here's an explanation.
3. Chico feels he has completely recovered from surgery.
4. Chico could return to Washington.
5. Check out Chico's new pitch: Two-seam fastball. Sorry if that sounds like there's video... there isn't.

Damn, I have to wrap this up. I'm taking the day off tomorrow! I was invited to a NASCAR race (not a NASCAR "game", as I keep calling it). Never been to one and I am wild with anticipation.

I love you!

Pardon me boy, is this the Lackawanna Station?

5-1 Scranton Wilkes-Barre.

Adam Mills started and gave up five runs on nine hits in 6 1/3 innings. Mills' record falls to 1-6.

The Yankees countered with Rochester native Tim Redding. Redding pitched 6 2/3 innings, allowed seven hits but only one Pawtucket run. Reliever Zack Segovia finished the game off and kept the PawSox bats hitless.

Pawtuckets sole run came in the third inning, when newcomer Alex Hassan hit a deep fly to center, allowing Velazquez to score from third.

Gil Velazquez went 3-3 last night, hitting singles in the third, fourth, and seventh inning. No one on the team could muster an extra base hit.

Last night's Red sox relief corps consisted of Chad Paronto and Kason Gabbard. Neither pitcher allowed a run during their combined 1 2/3 innings of work.

Pawtucket's record falls to 33-40.

we had too much time to find for ourselves:
1. Imagine if I wrote like that all the time? I might as well be dead.
2. Niuman Romero was removed from the leadoff spot. Alex Hassan stepped in and played right field. Romero batted third and returned to his comfy old spot at second base.
3. Lars Anderson got a couple of hits. Bubba Bell also had a pair of singles. Aside from those guys and Gil Velazquez, everyone else was hitless.
4. SWB starter Tim Redding thought the baseballs were too slick in the third inning. I wish I could find a way to blame David Uyl for this, but the home plate umpire was Stephan Barga.
5. SWB infielder Reegie Corona hit a two-run double. You don't run into too many 'Reegie's.
6. You know what's awesome, though? Juan Miranda on the DL. Miranda always destroys Pawtucket pitching.
7. Everything's coming up Millhouse! "Bubba Bell, who is having a heck of a series at the plate, just made one of the best plays I’ve seen an outfielder make all season." - Donnie Collins, of course. I want video proof of this.
8. Could Bubba Bell get called up?
9. I had a religious experience last night. Jesus Christ came to me in a dream. He was wearing catching gear. Except it was Dusty Brown. He was right when he said you can't always get what you want.
10. I think I am kind of starting to like this team.

Tonight! Syracuse! Felix Doubront (Brothers). Don't you feel it coming day by day?

DONNIE COLLINS!!!!!

6.23.10 Just one more Yankees game left in the series.

And that's tonight. 7-6 Pawtucket, TJ Large wins and Kei Igawa loses. The starting pitchers did not figure into the decision. In a related story, I can't believe Igawa is still hanging out in Pennsylvania.

Romero Ramone gave up six runs, but only three of them were earned. Blame Gil Velazquez and his two errors. Velazquez couldn't seem to do anything right last night... he also was caught stealing.

Yankees starter Dustin Moseley's start was not much better. Moseley's six runs were all earned and he gave up two home runs. Hmm... Romano Ruiz only gave up one home run. Moseley's start was worse!

But enough about those guys! The story's in the run production. Pawtucket struck first in the second inning when Anderson hit a solo home run. SWB topped that shit in the bottom half of the inning with a two-run homer by Rene Rivera, and tacked on a third run in the bottom of the third.

The Red Sox were undaunted. In the fourth inning, with runners on first and second, Lars Anderson got his second hit of the night - an RBI double. Aaron Bates' ensuing groundout allowed Shealy to score from third. Gustavo Molina... yes... batted next and BLAMMO! hit his third home run of the season. Two more runs! 5-3 Pawtucket!

Fifth inning, white hot Bubba Bell leads off with a double and Jorge Jimenez eventually drives him in. In the home half, Scranton scored three runs to tie the game up at 6-6. Smug bastard Reid Gorecki figured prominently.

In the seventh inning, the PawSox hit a few singles and Bell wound up scoring. Use your imagination, but credit Niuman with the RBI. 7-6 Pawtucket and that was the final score, thanks to Robert Manuel and Fernando Cabrera being sexy things, taking pictures and carving them into wood reliefs...

Some guy Wordekemper made an appearance for SWB. I loved him on Hogan's Heroes!

two things:
1. Manuel's tiny itty-bitty ERA now stands at .95. Shame he didn't get to pitch with the big kids, but I am confident that he'll return when Atchison or Richardson come down. Or if one of them meets with an unfortunate accident.
2. Rajon Rondo hit Pilittere with a pitch, which he totally had coming after wrecking Dusty Brown the other night. Eff you, PJ!
3. Gustavo Molina and his three home runs = 2004 Doug Mirabelli.
4. Looks like Lars finally got laid - he went 3-4 with that home run and double.
5. Tug Hulett went 0-5 with a strikeout. Bates was 0-4 with a K, but he at least got an RBI.
6. Niuman Romero's been playing left field these past few games. Not metaphorically.
7. Don't feel too bad, Gil: Jimenez and Romero were also caught stealing.
8. This blog (Ghost of Moonlight Graham) has read my mind: Let's strip-mine the Cleveland Indians!
9. I have no idea what a 'frelen' is, but if you've always wanted to see Lars Anderson's knees, take a look.
10. The Yankees are second place in the IL North division. Syracuse is number one! I'm excited. I mean, in the abstract.
11. Okay, it's official: I LOVE the Donnie Collins SWB live blog. I have gotta try this some night when I have nothing better to do. Because I am unoriginal.

Tonight! Adam Mills, Tim Redding. Oh, damn, I can't believe I am missing this. Hot! Merging! Action!

I KNOW NOTHING!!!!

What the hell, Bubba Bell?

Bubba Bell's steady offensive output lately is confounding and I suppose proves yet again how little I know about anything. I totally thought he'd be released by this point!

Bell's also lucky that the Boston outfield's a triage unit. But good job, regardless. Bell is batting .419 over the last ten games, 1.245 OPS, etc.

3-1 Red Sox last night. While it's truly unimportant to anyone in the big league office who wins these things, I say HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU YANKEES!!!

Scandalous righty Ramon A Ramirez was supposed to start last night, but instead we got Coello. Coello struck out ten Scrankees, which I wish I could have seen. He was doin' alright in the sixth after he quickly got two outs, but Tommy Hottovy tapped in to finish it. Hottovy immediately gave up a double to Jorge vazquez, who'd solo homered earlier that night in the second inning, but he got exciting catcher Jesus Montero to ground out to end the inning.

Chad Paronto got four subsequent outs and gave up only one hit, good to see from a reliever who has had his ups and downs this season. Fernando Cabrera pitched the ninth and got his ninth save of the year, which I also wish I could have seen. Fly out, fly out, pop out, end. Cabrera then tore his jersey off in futbol solidarity. Probably.

Pawtucket's three runs came in individual succession in innings two, three, and four. Like a little fence of ones! In the second inning, Dusty Brown doubled to score Aaron Bates from second. In the third inning, Anderson sac flied to score Angel Sanchez, who'd doubled and advanced to third on a Ryan Shealy single.

Fourth inning: Bubba Bell cranked one out to right. Then he supersoaked that ho.

Zach McAllister got the loss for Scranton Wilkes-Barre. McAllister pitched seven innings and had five hits and two walks to show for it. And the three runs, of course.

could my eyelids cover what i did:
1. Mark Melancon pitched the last pair of innings for the Yankees.
2. SWB manager Dave Miley was super pissed off after the game.
3. Dusty Brown left the game with a thumb injury after the second inning. He tagged runner PJ Pilittere out at home... I think he got hurt during that play. I don't know, no one tells me anything. Go read the Providence paper, SQUARE.
4. Robert Coello has now slipped into something more comfortable: The Pawtucket starting rotation. And also, a satin kimono.
5. Can someone consider changing the name of the team to the Pennsylvania Yankees? I'm so tired of the whole "Scranton Wilkes-Barre" thing. It's a really unwieldy name for a baseball team and I hate typing it because I'm a lazy fatass.
6. I forgot to tell you that Tommy Hottovy's in Pawtucket now. And little baby Alex Hassan until we get some outfield help. Maybe we should keep Hassan? We could bring him to a tanning salon, just to get a base.
7. BALK! Robert Coello, second inning.
8. In case you care: The Yankees are dead last in the IL for home runs. Don't look so smug... Pawtucket's third to last.

Tonight! Ramon Ramirez will really for real start v Dustin Moseley. Til next time...

6.21.10 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees

Yankees WIN! 4-3. Jonathan Albaladejo gets the win in relief. Fabio Castro FAILED to hold SWB and got the loss.

Michael Bowden threw 100 pitches! Write that down! Bowden made it to the seventh inning but Reegie Corona singled and stole second with one out. Then right fielder Greg Golson hit a line drive single to center! Golson made it to second on the throw.

The dangerous Jeff Natale approached the plate to face Bowden with runners in scoring position and only one out. I'll bet the fans were breathless, seeing former teammates face off like mortal enemies! Natale sac flied and scored Corona.

Bowden got the hook after that so Castro could face smug outfielder Ried Gorecki. Gorecki popped out to second to end the inning. 2-0 Yankees.

Pawtucket did something neat, though, in the top of the eighth. Ryan Shealy, who I freaking love already, led the inning off with a double off reliever Zach Segovia. YEAH RS!! Lars Anderson followed that up with a groundout, moving Shealy over to third. How unsatisfying for Anderson. You think he cares about a runner-advancing groundout? NO!

Segovia then faced Aaron Bates, who drew a walk to put runners at the corners. Good night, Segovia. Albaladejo enters. And then what do you think Josh Reddick did? WRONG, Reddick did NOT strike out! Reddick flew out to center, allowing Ryan Shealy to score.

Dusty Brown kept things going with a walk. Bubba Bell batted next and singled, scoring Aaron Bates. I really thought Bell would be gone by this time. I guess 2009 was an off year..

With the score tied at 2-2, Niuman Romero came to the plate. Romero popped out to third. Damn you, Niuman!

The Yankees pulled ahead by one run in the bottom of the inning, but Pawtucket tied it again in the top of the ninth! Ryan Shealy doubled AGAIN, scoring Angel Sanchez from second. What Sanchez was doing at second base, we may never know! Sanchez was not even in the lineup. In fact, Sanchez was wearing a ballgown. I know!

Castro, still in the game, came in for the ninth and threw a wild pitch with Justin Christian on third. Christian scored, 4-3, game over. I hate cheesy wins like that, don't you?

can't you see what this crazy life is doing to me?
1. Albaladejo has been an effective closer for SWB. Last night was his first blown save since last August.
2. Angel Sanchez went 0-5 with three strikeouts. Sanchez batted third. I think he should bat leadoff or second, but that's just me.
3. Bubba Bell and Niuman Romero both went 3-4.
4. Justin Christian, the kid who scored on the Castro wild pitch, had just been called up from double-A. He was coaching first base at the beginning of the game, but came in as a defensive replacement.
5. Dig on Donnie Collins' live blog of last night's match. I would do that sometime if I thought anyone gave a shit.
6. Fuck it, I'll do it anyway.
7. Last night's starter for Scranton Wilkes-Barre was Ivan Nova.
8. Michael Bowden had seven strikeouts, only walked one batter, and did not give up any long balls. Too bad Fabio Castro ruined what could have been a good night.

Tonight! Creepy sleazeball Ramon Ramirez faces righty Zack McAllister. See you then.

Because you can't spell 'routine' without 'rut'.

Yesterday I went to a NASCAR race. My ears are still ringing.

I don't want to write about it like some Rolling Stone wannabe. I certainly don't want to be one of those assholes who sees it as an anthropological study. I didn't go because I wanted to make fun of people, or a culture, or a fan base. I went because my great great friend invited me and bought me a ticket and I thought it would be fun. And it was. I had a remarkable time.

The thing that surprised me the most is how enormous the racing facility is. It doesn't even look real. It's like, yeah, you know the Grand Canyon is big, blah blah blah, but then you see it in person and you can't even figure it out.

Billy once said that every stereotype you can throw at NASCAR is absolutely true. And he was right. Except I don't remember seeing any Confederate flags.

Anyway, number 28 won. Next time, I'm wearing earplugs.

6.20.10 The PawSox and the Clippers Get Wet

Yeah, baby! Game suspended due to t-storms, but 4-3 Clippers for now.

Do you really need to hear about Kris Johnson? I don't feel like Kris Johnson. Let's focus on young Carlos Carrasco. Carlos pitched five innings and gave up three runs, two of them solo HR's by Bell and Shealy.

Carrasco walked two and struck out two. He threw 73 pitches, 41 for strikes. Carlos is an Aries who loves food... and he likes dreams... and whispers... And I want to cut his skin off and wear it to my birthday.

TJ Large was working when the rains came. He should feel lucky, because he was stinking up the joint. Large walked four people in 2/3 of an inning! 31 pitches, 13 for strikes. Why is TJ Large still hanging around? Where do they find these people? Let's get some kids up!

You know who's NOT boring? Ryan Shealy! Brian MacPherson agrees with me!

hit pay dirt with goedert:
1. This game will be resumed July 23rd in Columbus at Huntington Park. Huntington Park is reportedly terrific. Maybe in 2011 that will be my super secret IL park destination. Even though I have already been to Columbus, it could bear repeating.
2. Jordan Brown was batting when the game got called. Jordan Brown was having a good day, too, going 2-3 with a double. I'M JORDAN BROWN!!!
3. Jordan Brown has been in the Cleveland org since 2005 and he has never played a major league game.
4. Kason Gabbard is back and I mean, thank god for that. Gabbard's gonna turn this mess around. Now we have the Unstoppable Dual Lefty Attack Force of Kris Johnson and... Kason Gabbard.
5. Columbus shortstop Josh Rodriguez hit a two-run homer off Johnson.
6. I should have just posted this Saturday game summary: "The PawSox had only 2 for a score by the eighth inning and the Clippers had 6; but all of a sudden the Pawsox caught up and passed them by one run." What more do you need to know?
7. Jordan Brown was the IL Batting Champ in 2009. How did I not know this? I guess since Garrett Jones has gone on to greater things, Jordan brown may be emerging as my favorite IL Repeat Offender.
8. "Carlos Carrasco, acquired as the centerpiece from Philadelphia in the Cliff Lee trade, should get another shot in the majors at some point this season and Jordan Brown should make his big league debut at some point this year." - an opinion of Bowling Green U's Craig Vanderkam.
9. Could Carrasco be called up to replace David Huff?

Tonight! The Scrankees! Bleagh. Michael Bowden and Ivan Nova throw it down in Pennsylvania. Moosup? No, Moosic. Gee, I hope their outfield's less of a soupy, fetid swamp!

6.19.10 Red Sox v Clippers - UYE

Red Sox win! WHAT. 7-6 PawSox and Fernando Cabrera is damn. DAMN!!!!!!

Aaron Laffey was starting lefty/enemy of Jeremy Sowers. Laffey walked, like, half the Pawtucket team, but it didn't matter because Daniel Nava is not walking through that door. 2008 Jeff Bailey is not walking through that door. Pawtucket only managed ONE RUN off Laffey, even with seven walks and five hits.

And Pawtucket starter Adam Mills didn't help with his eleven hits in 5 2/3, including two solo home runs. Why are all the PawSox starters so fucking boring? I wish I lived closer to Portland. Can't wait for Doubront to come back. WHY IS THERE NO ONE LIKE ARRIETA OR HELLICKSON HERE?!

It was 2-1 Columbus for a while and then in the sixth inning, Wes Hodges led off with a home run. Mills subsequently gave up consecutive singles to Goedert and Gimenez. Uh-oh! Cord Phelps sac bunts successfully, and here comes Jose Constanza.

And... RBI single for Constanza. But is Mills done yet? NO. First he had to get Brantley to line out. You'd think he could give a third out a shot, but Mills was up to 97 pitches so Chad Paronto jumped in the river. Brian Bixler then hit a two run single, bringing the score to 6-1.

Pawtucket down 6-1 in the sixth? Bad news. Not 2009-PawSox-Bad, but still pretty bad. Thank god for Jeremy Sowers and his wasted potential!

Sowers was bad, Pawtucket scored five runs, Fernando Cabrera got the save. Sorry, but this was taking forever today.

6.18.10 Pawtucket Red Sox v Columbus Clippers (CLE)

If you didn't know, the Columbus Clippers are the Indians triple-A team. Columbus takes game 2, 2-1.

Ramon Ramirez went from Strikeout King in his last start to a Barry Hertzler/Lincoln Holdzkom type. Yeah. When's the last time I mentioned those guys? Remember when Barry Hertzler had a bad outing in Toledo and had a fit and busted up a door in the clubhouse? And Toledo made him pay for it? HA. I love that story so much.

Ramirez pitched 4 1/3 innings of stunning mediocrity. His biggest mistake was giving up a two-run homer in the second inning to third baseman Jared Geoduck. Ramirez received some sweet long relief from Robert Coello, who put his hard hat on and pitched over three innings before lefty Fabio Castro came in to help out in the ninth. Coello had five K's and two walks... and only one hit. Everybody loves Coello.

Columbus starter Josh Tomlin got the win.

this is hard today:
1. Read Tony Lastoria's recap, because evidently I cannot do it properly this morning.
2. Pawtucket got its one run in the first inning. Geodert hit his home run in the second. No runs for the rest of the game. You'd think the game would have been under three hours, but it was OVER.
3. Lars Anderson was 0-4 with two strikeouts. Angel Sanchez doubled and that is the most massive offensive output the Red Sox had last night. Let's get Nava and McDonald back!
4. "Third baseman Jared Goedert came out of nowhere this year to earn a promotion from Akron to Columbus. He's batting .378 with six doubles, two homers, seven RBIs and a 1.261 OPS in nine games with the Clippers." - from 'CastroTurf' (Manny Acta's Favorite Indians Blog)
5. Clippers starter Josh Tomlin threw 103 pitches. I think a Pawtucket starter has broken 95 maybe once and I think it was Bowden's most recent start. This is an example of the futility of following a team whose focus is not to win, but to develop players. I could really get behind a triple-A team that plays to win, like Buffalo! I'd like to see some destruction of young arms at the expense of the big club!

Tonight! Adam Mills, Aaron Laffey. I am never gonna sleep, am I?

disrespectful to dirt

Have you been reading the Sox on Cox blog at all? Are you disappointed in its utter lack of hot man-on-man action? Do you feel the blog's name is somewhat misleading? Do the plentiful videos not show enough skin?

I suppose you could blame frequent poster 'Siddhartha Finch'. Oh, ha ha. How clever. At least I use my real initials. Except my middle initial. That would be too much.

I love how one post is called 'Sea Doggin' It'. I mean, really. What exactly does that entail? Should I leave the lights on?

Heh heh. Cox.

Bring your girlfriend to Pawtucket to see the PawSox fireworks!

These fireworks are HOTTTT and can be seen with the naked eye. They're also pretty HARD to light when they're WET. I'll bet Daniel Nava likes fireworks, too! And Brandon Moss was a noted fireworks lover!

July 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Fireworks. McCoy Stadium. Hit that if you like heat, big crowds, and have a high tolerance for people who never shut up.

But, seriously. These games sell out quickly. When I was a small girl, McCoy fireworks were the best. BEST. We never went to the games... we just parked in the general area and sat on the hood of the car. The traffic was always crazy. EVERYONE came.

Now they play songs I hate while they blast off. Like that one band I can't stand... you know, they sing songs like 'Here We Go' and 'Tonight's Gonna Be Fun'. I'm not saying their name. I could write one of their songs!

'Someone called me
and said we're gonna win tonight
because here we go
and we're gonna be on top
someone called me
and said here we go tonight
cuz together we can all party
and dance forever
someone called me
and said baby let's dance
because here we go tonight
start the party baby
take me in your arms
we are gonna win tonight!'

Voila! Grammy contender. Just add auto-tune.

6.17.10 Pawtucket Takes On the Columbus Clippers.

How's that for a boring title? This could be the best game they play all season. 1-0 Red Sox in an eleven inning game.

Randor Bierd rose out of the ocean like a Kraken and pitched five shutout innings. Everyone was glad to see that kind of performance from the freshly-healed Bierd.

TJ Large, Fernando Cabrera, and Robert Manuel each pitched a pair of innings. In that order. The Law Offices of Large and Cabrera allowed one hit and two walks apiece. Large struck out three, Cabrera four.

Robert Manuel's ERA is down to .98. Superstar. At some point he is going to get a cup of coffee with the big team and everyone will talk about how he came from out of nowhere and no one's heard of him and all of that. HOW HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED MANUEL'S REMARKABLE PAWTUCKET PERFORMANCE?! I mean, seriously. Read a book, you illiterate son of a bitch.

Anyway, Manuel got the win. Dusty Brown hit a walk-off RBI single in the eleventh. Manuel went ahead and pitched a twelfth inning just because he could. He struck out Reddick, Anderson, and Bell.

Columbus reliever Justin Germano took the loss. Cried like a baby, he did. Starter Yohan Pino gave up six hits in his six innings. Pino also had six strikeouts because he's Beelzebub.

patizambo:
1. Jordan Brown and Dusty Brown are two-thirds of a set of triplets. Fun fact: While Jordan's the one with all the freckles, Dusty has more chicken pox scars!
2. The Browns grew up in a musical household: "He's the DJ, I'm the rapper!", Jordan said with a laugh during a recent interview.
3. In a wacky coincidence, the third Brown triplet, Adrian, played for the PawSox back in 2003!
4. Tug Hulett is not exactly the pinch running type. And yet Hulett ran for new kid Ryan Shealy in the crucial eleventh inning. Shealy must be a real lard ass.
5. The Clippers did not allow a walk until the tenth inning. Vinnie Pestano broke the streak for Columbus. When the ump called ball four, Pestano shouted, "OHHH!"
6. Ryan Shealy comes from the unstoppable Durham Bulls. Dude, the Devil Rays are STACKED. Shealy is not at all fat, despite being referred to as a "lard ass" by certain media outlets.
7. Fernando Cabrera is an interesting pitcher. He's more effective v lefties. Last year, Cabrera was a slim killer. This year, he's a top-stepper. And yet, he seems more relaxed overall. He's more of a team player this year, wouldn't you say? What do you think he's doing right now? Is he Catholic? I wonder if he ever wears rosary beads. That would be so hot.
8. Dusty Brown struck out four times, but he got the game winning hit so that cancels everything out. Josh Reddick went 3-4 (!?!).
9. Looks like our old pal Jorge Jimenez has moved up in the batting order! What a great idea, Torey Lovullo!
10. TJ Large exists.

Tonight! Ramon Ramirez v Josh Tomlin. I might go. I'm kind of on the run from the law, so we'll see what happens.

ROBERT MANUEL!!!!!!

6.15.10 Louisville Still

2-0 Red Sox. You are not going to believe this but Michael Bowden pitched 7 2/3 innings and got the shutout.

What you are more likely to believe is Manuel being Manuel. RM finished the game off and kept the Bats down. Manuel's only baserunner was catcher Wilkin Castillo, who singled in the eighth.

Lefty thugg Travis Wood got the loss for Louisville, even though he had ten damn strikeouts. Wood is a real redneck and you can hang those two Pawtucket runs on him, even though only one was earned. In the third inning, Wood loaded the bases with no one out after giving up two singles and a walk. Niuman Romero then grounded out to the pitcher, who threw Molina out at home. And yet Jorge Jimenez scored, thanks to Wilkin Castillo's throwing error. Looks like Castillo threw over to first to attempt to double off Romero. Uh, oops.

The seond run scored when Tug Hulett sac flied. It was pretty boring. Wait a minute... Hulett? Where'd he come from? I didn't even notice he hadn't played in a bit.

Good job, Michael Bowden. You proved me wrong. I'm sure you called up your moms and told her how you FACED me.

scant:
1. Wait... the Louisville error in the third was catcher Wilkin Castillo hitting Niuman Romero in the back as he chugged up the first base line. HA! How the hell do you do that? BUSH.
2. Tug Hulett struck out three times. Aaron Bates struck out twice and is evidently in a slump. He is 6 for 33 in his last ten games with a .182 BA. I know all of this off the top of my head.
3. Bowden did not walk anyone. And he always walks people.
4. Without love, where would you be now? This article talks about F. Doubront and confirms my suspicion that they call him "Doubie". It's killing me to link to it, but you should probably check it out. Damn it.
5. Bill Bray pitched when Wood was done. Bray suppressed the Red Sox bats and everyone's thrilled about it.
6. Please read and enjoy this RedLegs Baseball Blog scouting report on the remarkable Travis Wood. It's very good, even though I fucking hate the white on black thing. It wrecks my eyes.

Tonight! Wait... no tonight? WHAT. That's okay, I'm going to subject you to a slideshow of my trip to Louisville tomorrow. Figuratively speaking. Aroldis Chapman figures prominently.