8.15.11 Now maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head.

Could it be? Yes, the Red Sox win and the Iron Pigs lose and JOE!! TAKE US TO THE PLAYOFFS!!!

Final score was 7-3, but the game was tied up 3-3 until the eighth inning. Sounds like a humdinger, wish I could have been there. Late August is such a fucking fantastic time for baseball and I watch the baseball channel and get all excited. Jim Thome, the Brewers, the Pirates K Pujols, Brian Wilson blows it, Delmon Young, all that stuff. I love all of it, I love the World Series, I Roger Angell love it. YES! YES! I'M NOT NO LIMBURGER!

Starter and Team Captain (if Pawtucket had a team captain, BD could be as good as anyone and would most likely get my vote) Brandon Q. Duckworth (may not be actual middle initial) got six strikeouts through six innings, gave up three runs on eight hits. Major, major accolades should be tossed upon the relief corps, along with cold beers and other assorted lagniappe. Hottovy! Atchison! Bowden! They all donned their most manly tool belts and bolted down the win for Duckworth.

(much later) Something alien has destroyed my PC. The following is a remote transmission.

For Gwinnett, fans were treated to a start by righty Erik Cordier. Cordier also pitched six innings and gave up three runs, including home runs by Ryan Lavarnway and Daniel Nava. But all the stuff, all the hard work, all undone by Cordier's supposed friends Anthony Varvaro and Jaye Chapman. Oh, what terrible things they've shown!

So what happened, specifically? In the eighth inning, with two out and two on, Nate Spears hit an RBI single. Because sometimes, Spears does good things, even when they play Britney songs during his at-bats. And then, ha, little Jose hit a two-run single! 6-3 Pawtucket!

The R. Sox tacked on their seventh run in the ninth when Mr. Helper Hector Luna singled with a couple of guys on. Luna's a walking work of art and Jaye Chapman is a broken wind-up toy.

The save went to M. Blowden. Ha, Blowden, What an exquisite typo.

caught a cold from the rain, don't care if i'm cold:
1. Ben Beitzel's lament.
2. And then there's Maude: Mike Delrio also makes an observation, because he's Isaac Fucking Newton. Slideshow included! Also, 'Pawtuckett'!
3. Brett Carroll went 3-4 with a double and stole a base. Smashing job, n00b.
4. Stefan Gartrell homered for the Braves. Gartrell is second in the IL for homers. Later he was spotted designing silk shirts.
5. And because brevity is next to cleanliness, here's a four-sentence newspaper story regarding the match. Again, who writes this stuff and how much to they have to drink at night to suppress their feelings of desperation and failure?

TONIGHT! A strong segment of the Blackstone Valley Media Club will be present at the park! Yes, I am a member... Founding member... Not president, though. Charlotte's in town for baseball, keno, and seafood. Felix Doubront will attempt to take the piss out of Jeanmar Gomez.

Side note: My computer could truly be deadski. I don't know what's going to happen because in terms of money, I have no money. And if I can't blog, then what's this all been about? What have I been working toward?

I know that no one reads any of this, but screw you. I'm cranking out majestic operatic arias to an empty house and I AM NEVER GOING TO DIE!!!

HESSMANIA!!!!