4.10.2011

4.9.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons (NYM) - Angela

Pawtucket WINS! 8-3 in Buffalo. The delightfully enigmatic Matt Fox gets the win for Pawtucket, pitching six one run innings with four strikeouts.

Buffalo starter Pat Misch stretched himself out to seven innings. He wasn't particularly effective, as evidenced by The Grand Slam. You know.

OH, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THE GRAND SLAM? Top of the second, designated hitter Daniel Nava leading off. Nava takes a walk. Then a double by Anderson. Sutton strikes out, but Linares walks to load the bases with one out. Exposito up! Could he do it? No, he popped out, but second baseman Tony Thomas rolled his sleeves up and got the job done! Grand slam to left! Everybody was happy, even Okajima.

I'm sure the 4-1 lead left Fox feeling pretty comfy for the rest of his pitch-scursion. Hideki Okajima pitched a tidy, scoreless seventh and then re-raked the mound before he exited. Michael Bowden (The closer?) handled the last two innings. He walked Jesus Feliciano like a snowball down a mountain, like a carnival balloon. And then who? WHO? Jason Pridie, who is still hanging around like a persistant skin lesion, hit his second home run of the game. Oh, dear, is all I have to say.

So aside from Tony's GS, where did all the other runs come from? Well, there was one in the fifth inning that was a solo home run... And then one in the eighth when Anderson hit an RBI single... Then a deuce in the ninth when Linares led off with a chunky double and advanced to third on a wild pitch by Dale Thayer's mustache. Tony Thomas singled Linares home for one, and then stole second. Another wild pitch from Thayer got Thomas over to third and Navarro grounded to second and got Thomas across the plate. Dale Thayer, wild and woolly and unable to shake the dust off his spurs.

Hold Me Closer:
1. Jason Pridie, guys. Jason Pridie. "My job is to get the team going." Oh, yes, I am quite sure.
2. "He tried to throw a cutter in and the guy has pull power. He got his pitch in the right zone. The inning just got away from [Misch] a little bit." - Bisons manager Tim Teufel on Thomas' slam.
3. Pat Misch had the most wins for a lefty in the IL last year. Thank you, Jay Skurski.
4. Feel free to look over this series preview, too. Yeah, it's late. What do you want? I work full-time and have various social engagements. It's horribly glamorous, you know.
5. Val Pascucci? BITCHIN'. Time for the most excellent Val Pascucci song and let's sing it all day.

This afternoon! Andrew Miller will pitch up against Boof Bonser, who sees no problem with drinking beer right before a game in which he might pitch. Bonser? I hardly knew her! (Sorry.)

BOOF! THERE IT IS!

4.09.2011

4.8.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Rochester Red Wings - K's

Rochester WINS! 7-2 before a crowd of 6,212. Red Wings starter Eric Hacker gets the win after pitching five scoreless innings.

Red Sox starter Kyle Weiland had a lesser, more disappointing night, letting down his parents who sacrificed so much. Weiland squeezed out three innings, giving up four runs on seven hits, including a solo home run to Trevor Plouffe in the third. Weiland continued to suck in the third, throwing who knows what to Dustin Martin so he could triple. And then Bailey hit an RBI single... Yeah.

Pawtucket reliever Tony Pena's relief was not much cuter. Pena stacked three more run-stuffed innings atop Weiland's, allowing Rochester to score three to bring the total to 7-0.

The Red Sox finally got some work done in the bottom of the sixth, when Reddick led off with a walk, Navarro doubled, and Kalish doubled to bring them both home. But that was it. No more scoring. You can all go back to watching TV shows about coupons.

Jason Rice and Clevelan Santeliz combined for some stone cold sexy scoreless relief. Rice struck out Chase Lambin, Ben Revere, and Brian Dinkelman during his two innings because he's el mero mero.

migajas:
1. Jeff Bailey is going to strike out a lot this season. He's a good man and he puts it down, but I have doubts. He was hit by a pitch last night, so at least he's got that right.
2. Eric Hacker was Pitcher of the Year in the PCL for 2010. He came from the Giants org.
3. Dinkelman hit two doubles and Plouffe ended the night going 3-5.
4. Yamaico Navarro's off to a good start! The pretty pesky poltergeist went 3-4 with two doubles. Contrariwise, Nava went 0-4 with two K's.
5. Pawtucket loaded the bases in the ninth, but Josh Reddick failed to get a run across, instead grounding into a double play. Instead of insulting him, I'll just say 'It happens' and it's a long season so better luck next time.
6. Jose "Igresias" was spiked by Plouffe in the fourth, but he is just fine. And there really is no fucking excuse for not spelling the players' names right, KEVIN PEREIRA.

TONIGHT! Buffaloney! Matt Fox will face off against lefty weirdo Pat Misch. Are you going? Let's go! We should totally go! It's gonna be freeeeezing!!!!!!!!

4.08.2011

4.7.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Rochester Red Wings - Here We Go!

Pawtucket WINS! 2-1. Rochester reliever Yorman Bazardo took the loss after JC Linares got a hold of him.

I was initially disappointed to see Scott Atchison starting for Pawtucket, but it faded once I realized how quickly and efficiently he was pitching. Hell, yeah, it was cold! Atchison pitched 4 2/3 innings and struck out eight, leaving the game after Red Wings catcher Rene Rivera doubled to deep center, scoring Chase Lambin for the first run of the game. Rochester countered with righty Anthony Swarzak. who pitched an equal amount of innings and struck out seven PawSox kidz.

Rich Hill replaced Atchison in the fifth inning to get the last out, striking out CF Ben Revere and his quart of beer. Hill would go on to pitch 2 1/3 innings and get the win thanks to JC Linares' two-run triple. A triple for the thick guy!

I can't believe Hideki Okajima is on the PawSox and that he pitched last night. When I first heard the possibility that he would be sent down, I was surprised he even had an option. Okajima pitched a scoreless eighth, which was cool, but the remarkable thing was Michael Bowden closing out the game in the ninth. I can't believe Bowden didn't walk anybody! He seemed pretty crisp, so we'll see how the off-season treated him.

Jose Iglesias didn't really have an opportunity to dazzle the crowd with his legendary defense, but he did get a pair of hits so it was a good night for him. Daniel Nava doubled. Ryan Kalish went 0-4 and he doubled.

Yamaico Navarro walked. He groused a little bit when he was called out on strikes in the first, which I think is a bad idea this early in the season. Rochester's Jeff Bailey did the same thing in the second, but he can get away with it because he's a veteran.

you've got a place to go:
1. The Ben Mondor tribute was terrific. They played a slideshow of Mondor photos accompanied by 'What a Wonderful World.' I think he was smiling in every shot. It was very moving.
2. Alfredo Aceves was supposed to start but was called up. Atchison had like, less than an hour to prepare. What a pro. I should tell you an Atchison anecdote, but I am saving it for a cold, rainy day.
3. Rochester manager Tom Nieto did not dig the seven called third strikes on the team, but not because he thought home plate ump Chris Conroy was daffy: "Obviously, you want to put the ball in play with two strikes," he said. - Rochester paper
4. Red Wings starter and IL favorite Anthony Swarzak threw 46 of his 75 pitches for strikes. He did rather well, but shit happens I suppose.
5. Rich Hill sez: "It felt great to be able to go out there and do that. Scott Atchison had done such a great job starting for us on short notice, I wanted to keep it up. We all knew the team was counting on the bullpen tonight." Does this guy know how to party or what?
6. Inspector Luis del Rio sang the anthem and GBA. I feel as though he should do it as often as possible. Not because he's such a fabulous singer, but because he moves through the lyrics at quite a clip. No fancy trills and sustained notes, just short and sweet. Thank you, Inspector!
7. Atchison: "I was definitely running out of gas."
8. 'Wings Things' Opening day entry (read it)
9. Juan-Carlos wants to go by JC, which is 100% okay by me. Maybe he read my blog and noticed how I complain about players with long names because they screw up my hand-crafted lineups. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, JONATHAN EUGENE VAN EVERY AND JARROD SALTALAMACCHIA?!
10. Some Rochester TV video featuring Jeff Bailey. Don't kill yourself, it's not that gripping.
11. The new PA guy's aight. He keeps it simple, which I appreciate. Not like that freaking Gwinnett Braves PA guy and his game show hostiness.
12. New uniforms for Rochester!
13. In Baseball Outsider's Anthony Swarzak profile, the author notes 'Chance of making [big league] team: Not going to happen.' What, even though he lost 30 lbs?

Tonight! Rochester and the Red Sox face off once more. Kyle Weiland will pitch and I will miss it. Eric Hacker goes for the Red Wings. Then nothing for a while.

Good night. Wait...

4.06.2011

The Brockton... Red Sox?

Hey, Terry Nau! It's the Brockton ROX!!! JESUS CHRIST, doesn't anyone demand excellence from themselves any more?

Also, Rich Hill is spontaneous and inspirational.

remorse


Aaron Bates was essentially fired. I thought I would be happy about this, but instead I feel sympathy. What if I got fired? What would I do? I don't even have an agent who will help me get another job.

There was a time that I liked Bates, and that was when he was in Portland.

Aaron Bates was really hot.

One time he hit a home run really far. I wasn't there when it happened.

I don't want to be an asshole who gloats every time a player gets released. I'll just save it for the major shitheads. Bates wasn't too bad. He just had some problems at the plate.

In a related story, Craig Hansen was released by the Pirates. Seems he had a rare nerve disorder, Parsonage-Turner. His mother must feel terrible about all this.

Ramp Champ #35: Butch Hobson


Fucking shit, I am not even halfway through all of this!

Butch Hobson is a third baseman/MI who played for the Rhode Island Red Sox in 1976. He also managed the PawSox in 1991, so how about a little respect, dickbag?

And here we are in 1976. Hobson is 25 years old. He struck out a lot, but he also hit 25 home runs, which is usually how it goes. The 25 homers placed him at third place in the International League that season. And that is the dirty lowdown.

Pawtucket had a winning record under Hobson in '91, going 79-64 and winning their division. The team made it to the Governor's Cup playoffs, but was swept by the Clippers. You know... The Yankees' affiliate. A few years later, he had a very bad time in Pawtucket with the visiting Rochester Red Wings, which you all know about. Ain't no law against drugs.

Two things:
1. "Butch Hobson manages the Pawsox. He’s a real down-home Alabama guy, easy to be around. He invites me into the dugout on one of the minor league fields. His players take batting practice, and one of them hits a high foul that curves well back and down into a swampy area near one of Winter Haven’s many lakes. One of his players chases after the ball, but Hobson brings him up short. “Don’t be goin’ down there – the gators’ll get you,” he says. - Garry Brown
2. "[Mo] Vaughn, with whom Hobson worked every day of the last two years at Bristol and Pawtucket, said bitterly that Hobson had changed since being named Boston manager last November. 'Butch Hobson is not the same manager he was,' Vaughn said." - aqui

Butch Hobson's doing just fine in the upper part of the third base tower. I wouldn't mess with him.

Lunch with Vee

What was good about the Red Sox luncheon this year?

Hideki Okajima was there, Chili Davis was there.

Bill Lee was the opposite of boring as the guest speaker.

Blackberries!

Coffee!

Iggy and his Man Purse. Sounds like a New Wave band.

That's it, I guess. SSDY.

It all starts tomorrow, guys. I'm going to double up on iron, put on some long johns, wear my mittens, leave work early and head to the park. THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT! LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!

I love you guys. See you at the park.

4.04.2011

Ramp Champ #33: Scott Hatteberg

Scott Hatteberg is a catcher who played for Pawtucket from 1993-1996. He also played in ten games in 1999. Didn't he turn out to be a real dirtbag?

Okay, here we go. In 1993, at age 23, Hatteberg batted a mere .189 through 18 games. He split time between double- and triple-A that year. He went 10-53... A bunch of singles and one home run.

In 1994, Hatteberg once again split time between New Britain in Pawtucket. He caught 75 games out of 78 played. Hatteberg's OBP that year was a puny .332.

1995 saw a slight increase in Hatteberg's passed balls - up to seven from the previous season's four. However, he struck out less and walked more. 1995 was also the year Hatteberg made his major league debut. All his offensive numbers increased as well.

Hatteberg finally saw some results from his dedicated PED regimen in 1996. WHAT, NO! No, that's not what I meant to say at all! What I meant to say is that he hit 12 home runs through 90 games and bumped his OPS up from .798 to .841. His RBI practically doubled - 27 in '95, 49 in '96. It was a good year for the then 26 year old.

Two things:
1. You don't often get to see the word 'inexplicably' in a game summary: "Alex Ochoa bunted for a hit, and Roberto Petagine walked to load the bases. Inexplicably, Pawtucket catcher Scott Hatteberg tried to pick Petagine off first, allowing Franco to steal home for a 3-0 lead." (Daily Press, 1995)
2. "And though flicking sunflower seeds or spitting gum wrapper missiles can be stress relievers as well, nothing is as effective as a good game of Jeopardy. On his rare off days, catcher Scott Hatteberg made a great Alex Trebek. He could come up with impressive questions even in non-sports categories. The top contestant was Ken Ryan, especially in the category ''movies.'" - former PawSox bullpen catcher Joe Voccio

Scott Hatteberg's mural hangs rather grandly in the upper part of the third base tower. See you there on Thursday!

4.03.2011

Catching up with Rodney Nye

Recently I noticed that former PawSox infielder Josh Wilson was released by the Mariners or something. And I wondered if I should mention it. Not that I care, because I don't. All I really remember about Wilson is his catastrophic blonde highlights.

I may occasionally check in on some former players, but I certainly don't want to be the curator of forgettable IL'ers. I'm obviously very busy and don't have time for all of that. Besides, don't the radio guys take care of that stuff?

Except I came across this thing about Hunter Jones. Jones was released by the Marlins and is currently recovering from TJ surgery. And you guys probably already know the answer to this, but do you necessarily need to go through with the surgery if you're not going to pitch anymore? Because, really, Hunter Jones.

Ramp Champ #32: Mike Greenwell

Mike Greenwell is an outfielder who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1985 and 1986. A decade later, Greenwell popped by the park for a game in '95 and three more in '96.

In '85, Greenwell played in 117 games. He hit 13 home runs. No further statistics are available. Like you care what his total bases were.

1986 - Greenwell split his time between Boston and Pawtucket. He had 43 walks and 20 strikeouts, which I LOVE!!!!! Greenwell also hit 18 homers.

During Greenwell's 1996 stint, he hit two home runs in three games.

Two things:
1. From 1996: "Boston Red Sox outfielder Mike Greenwell celebrated his 33d birthday with a solo home run yesterday, igniting Pawtucket to a 6-1 victory over the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons in the International League." - source
2. Pawtucket's newest sidearm lefty, Rich Hill, lists Greenwell as one of his favorite boyhood Boston players.

It's not easy writing about beloved baseball stars without including their big league time. Yeah, I know, gripe gripe gripe. And Mike Greenwell's in the first base tower lobby. He worked and suffered and struggled for fame.

4.01.2011

I didn't even wish on a morning star.

Damn, so many good things happened at the end of March! I guess I just had to be a little more patient, like the shopping mall zombie in that 80's comet movie.

1. Bubba Bell was acquired by Cleveland. Good for him.

2. TJ Large and Aaron Bates are gone! I got my wish!

3. Adam Mills was also released. If only I had some kind of emotional reaction to this. Oh, here's one: AND YET KRIS JOHNSON IS STILL HANGING AROUND.

4. Jose Iglesias is coming! Kyle Weiland is coming!

This afternoon I heard Larry Lucchino on the radio. I like Lucchino. I hope he really puts the screws to Theo whenever possible. The radio host asked Lucchino what he is most looking forward to this season and before he replied, I thought, it will be interesting to see how 2010 PawSox great Jarrod Saltalamacchia does.

AND THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT LARRY LUCCHINO WAS MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO.

It's not easy being fascinating. In fact, I'm going to start a paper route right now.

Ramp Champ #31: Rich Gedman

Wow, I've done 31 of these? Rich Gedman is a catcher who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox mostly in 1980, with a few '81 games and like 4 games in 1988, which was the future.

In 1980, Gedman played in 111 games. He was 20 years old. He hit two triples and struck out a lot. His manager was Joe Morgan. Every time he tried to walk away, something made him turn around and stay. Gedman had 21 passed balls the previous year in double-A, but only six in his first triple-A season. Good work!

Oh, and Gedman hit eleven home runs that year. All of them off Michael Bowden.

The next season, Gedman appeared in 25 PawSox games. Suddenly he was on top of the world. Gedman walked nine times and batted .296. Hmmm, what else happened in at McCoy Stadium in 1981? Yes, it was the Longest Game in Baseball History, and Rich Gedman caught the first nine innings! Alright, Hamilton!

During Gedman's four game Pawtucket stint in 1988, he went 7-15 with a double and a towering home run to right. He mostly DH'd.

Two things:
1. During Gedman's first Pawtucket season, he led the International League catchers in doubles and assists.
2. Gedman caught Bruce Hurst. DONE!

Rich Gedman's mural hangs in the upper part of the first base tower. Thanks again to Lil' Rhody Dan for allowing me to use his mural pictures.

3.31.2011

Ben

This season, all the Pawtucket uniforms will have a patch on the sleeve that says 'BEN' in honor of Ben Mondor. This will officially be the coldest and most heartbreaking opening day I've ever attended. It's killing me that Jim Martin won't be the PA guy for this. I know he retired, but can't he do this one last thing? FOR ME?

Jorge Jimenez was released. Remember him from last year? Me, not really. He was like a phantom. Sure, I penciled his name in the lineup day after day, but he lacked any sizzle or snap. Forgettable.

Lenny Dinardo's out, too, but who needs all that when you have the unstoppable lefty power of Rich Hill? I'm sure Hill's not thrilled about being sent down, but I'll be glad to see him.

It's getting close...

3.29.2011

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The Reverend."

I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing, but it's for KP and I owe her like a million favors and really, I have seen this enjoyable combo and I have no qualms about doing a little promo. And you know what, it involves members of the Blackstone Valley Media Club so LET'S DO IT!!!

I didn't have the heart to say that no one really reads my blog. Regardless, best of luck to Reverend Bastien and his Congregation of the Traveling Empire.

via email:

"I've enrolled us in a contest to play at the warped tour this year. I need all the votes i can muster up. So spread the word if you can or get everyone you can to vote. It only takes a minute. The reality of it too is we don't need the most votes to win. We just need enough to reach the top 100 to be reviewed to play. So a possibility is there.... thanks!"

Link so you can vote

Also, some Prov. Phoenix voting...

GO PAWSOX!!!!

Ramp Champ #30: Nomar Garciaparra

Nomar Garciaparra is an iconic shortstop who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1996, with a smattering of rehab-style games in 2001 and 2004. He was only 22.

It's 1996. Stand by for adventure! I'm sure the music people (God bless them, if I had to play half the crap they did I'm not sure I could live with myself) were playing Seal's cover of 'Fly Like an Eagle'. Can money pay for all the days they lived awake but half asleep? Garciaparra was standing Rhode Island kidz on their ears with his offense.

In 43 games, Garciaparra hit 16 home runs. Crazy, right? He batted .343 with a .733 slugging percentage. OPS 1.120. I mean, it was only 43 games, but still. Heady times for PawSox attendees. THIS TOWN IS FUCKING INSANE.

Two things:
1. Former PawSox manager Buddy Bailey had this to say about the Garciaparra trade in '04: ""You know the organization has done what it thinks is in the best interest to try to put the right pieces together for not only this year but down the road. And, put us in a position to win a world championship. The decisions are based on the well-being of the club and that's why GMs make the decisions." [sic] - Providence paper
2. "Nomar showed up for work with the Triple-A PawSox about thirty pounds heavier, all muscle. Hits that had gone “crack” the year before now went “woomph.” He had 16 home runs in 43 games with Pawtucket before getting hurt, and everyone knows the rest of the story." - from Mike "Mount" Ashmore's Thunder Thoughts WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING, ASHMORE?!1!!!ONE!

Nomar Garciaparra's exquisite mural is located in the lobby of the first base tower. It does not do him justice, as he is easily one of the Red Sox players I most wanted to have intimate relations with. Yeah, I said it. So fucking hot in his day. I saw him stretching out in left field during my first ever spring training game and I almost blacked out.

Okay, see you tomorrow?

3.27.2011

Direct quote of what Bill Lee said to me at McCoy Stadium in the year 2009

"Mas despacio, por favor!"

everything is easy

It's official. I have booked my Super Secret International League Vacation. Some people know where I am going. Most do not. People who know must not let on to anyone in the PawSox organization or any of the local media because I am planning something... Explosive. Let's just say this trip will be... The Bomb. What I'm saying is I expect my vacation will be... Dynamite. Excuse me while I listen to the Def Leppard CD containing the hit track "Photograph".

Also, expect me at the Welcome Back Luncheon at Rhode Island's most lame banquet venue. They should have it at a bar, so people can REALLY enjoy themselves. I'm only going because Bill Lee will be there. I'll bet he's got a flask! I'll bet he's the least stoned person in the facility, too!

In many ways, I am the most famous person in Rhode Island.

Oh! Oh! Is Jose Iglesias coming to Pawtucket? That would be enough for me. He can erase the memories of Travis Denker and Edgar Martinez and Chad Spann and Kris Johnson. I saw him on TV and they said he'd only started learning English a year ago. And he is just fucking nailing it. You take a foreign language for 365 days and let's see what your proficiency is. Not even close, Bud.

IGLESIAS!!!!!

Ramp Champ #29: Rich Garces

Rich Garces is a right-handed pitcher who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1996, 1997, 1998, and 1999. That is impressive. Give him the key to the city, Mayor Doyle! Too bad Garces is missing out on Pawtucket eventually becoming a major legal marijuana hub. What a time we live in!

Garces' first Pawtucket year, 1996, saw him pitching a little over 15 innings in relief. He got zero losses, which is more than I can say for guys like TJ Large. Garces was 25 years old at the time.

In 1997, Garces had 26 relief appearances and got five saves. I don't even think my psyche could handle watching RG trot out from the bullpen. It must have brought the house down. If only someone had filmed it.... I could loop it and watch it over and over. Here he comes!

The next year Garces only appeared in seven games, but SPACE! 1999 was another big time Pawtucket season for him. Twenty-one appearances and seven saves. With zero losses! What the fuck was I doing with my life in 1999 that I was missing all of this? Oh God, it's the year 'Smooth' came out! They're still playing that goddamn song!!! GAAAAH IT'S THE YEAR 'MEET VIRGINIA' CAME OUT! Turn it off, man, turn it off!

And that was it for Rich Garces' Pawtucket career. He missed out on the whole Division St Bridge mess.

Two things:
1. "my favorite player all time has got to be Rich Garces... every time he pitched i cracked up... he would have to take a break half way from the bullpen to the pound [sic] because he was so tired.. what a funny person." posted by 'Steinbrennerisanazi' on Talksox message board
2. The nickname 'El Guapo' originated right here in Pawtucket. You can thank Mike Maddux for that, and also thank him for remembering to bring the napkins.

Rich Garces' mural is located in the upper portion of the third base tower.

Note: TJ Large is gone. I think I knew that already but forgot.

Also: Isn't this mural project fantastic? It's a lot of work! I am doing such a great job. WITH NO RECOGNITION. I think I should be on television. Let me just take some vitamins so I can fit into my red dress...

3.24.2011

Ramp Champ #28: John Flaherty

John Flaherty is a catcher who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox over and over and over. 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993. I can still hear Jim Martin calling his name...

Flaherty's first stint was in 1993. Wait, that can't be right. 1990. He played in 99 games and had problems with red balloons. He was 22 and put up crappy numbers. Why? Why was he not in double-A? It would be cool if you could answer my question.

In 1991, Flaherty did indeed do his time in double-A, only playing 45 Pawtucket games. OBP .257... BA .186... ZZZZZ... All of that and more in '92.

Flaherty got his work in at last in 1993, playing in 105 games and getting his best numbers in triple-A! Baby steps, I guess. He did set the record twice for fewest passed balls in a season, so you can see where his value lay.

In 2006, John Flaherty was a Boston spring training invitee and would have likely wound up BACK! in Pawtucket, but opted to retire instead. So Ken Huckaby is totally his fault. Thanks for this, JF. A lot of people thought Flaherty was a contender for catching Wake's knuckleball. It was an admittedly simpler time.

Two things:
1. "I lived upstairs from his brother Keith Flaherty when I was going to Hartwick College. John was still playing minor league ball for the Red Sox in Pawtucket. He came to visit Keith and went out for a few beers one weekend with us. John was a super nice guy, as was Keith." - comedian Paul C Morrissey
2. Flaherty was Pawtucket's MVP in 1993. "He threw out 39 of 85 base stealers (45.9 percent) and had 12 pickoffs at Pawtucket. ``He can catch and throw with anyone,'' [Butch] Hobson said." - Hartford paper

John Flaherty's mural is located in the upper portion of the third base tower, which means I have never seen it. Hie thee.

3.22.2011

Ramp Champ #27: Carlton Fisk

Carlton Fisk is a catcher who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1970, when they were a humble double-A team. He was 22 years old.

Through 93 games, Fisk batted .229 with 12 home runs. He had seven errors and ten passed balls.

Two things:
1. In the year 2000, the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations officially passed a senate resolution congratulating Fisk's admission to the HOF. Please call Tele-Times to gripe about 'our tax dollars at work'. Whereas.
2. "Almost without end." Carlton Fisk, concrete, and JD Salinger.

Carlton Fisk: Lobby. First base tower. Me. You. Wine. Crackers. Leo Sayer. Concrete. Be there.

3.17.2011

Have fun, you guys, and try not to puke.



NOBODY PUTS IT DOWN LIKE DMC!!!

Ian Snell secretly wanted to be a DJ.

Ian Snell retired and I only mention this because he was one of my all-time favorite McCoy visitors. I don't usually go out of my way to talk to players, but Snell, yeah, I waited for him after the game! I wanted to ask him about the WBC!

I am surprised but not shocked about Snell's retirement. He was a complicated man.

Brendan Donnelly has also quit. And now I have a hole in my heart. Also joint swelling, stiffness and fatigue. Is it lupus?

Probably not. Probably not.

3.15.2011

Ramp CHAMP! Mark Fidrych is number 26.

There once was a time when baseball players weren't interchangeable meathead jocks with crappy taste in music and an inflated sense of self-worth. At least, that's how I see it. (Not you, Abe Alvarez.)

Mark Fidrych was a right-handed pitcher who was a Pawtucket guy in 1982-83. He was 27-28 and out of the big leagues for good...

In '82, MF got 19 starts and went 6-8 with two complete games. On July 1st, he faced Columbus opposing pitcher Dave Righetti and it brought the fucking house down. Fidrych pitched the whole game to a Pawtucket win over the Clankees. And it was baseball nirvana in little Pawtucket for the record crowd at the old McCoy. AND I MISSED IT!!! (Watch the video, Rhode Island people. It will knock you out.)

1983 would be the last year of pro ball for Fidrych. He played in 12 games, started eight of them. His ERA was 9.68.

Two things:
1. Jesus Christ. Try reading this story about Fidrych's time in Pawtucket without welling up. Well done, Jim Donaldson.
2. DAMN! Check out a fan's remarkable account of their time at McCoy feat. M. Fidrych and the historic pitching match-up. Great stuff.

I have to stop, this is too hard. I imagine this will easily be the saddest mural profile I will do. Endless thanks to Lil' Rhody Dan for letting me use his superlative McCoy snaps. Pay your respects in the middle of the first base tower.

3.12.2011

Ramp Champ #25: Jacoby Ellsbury

Jacoby Ellsbury is an outfielder who played in Pawtucket in 2007. He was 23 years old.

Through his 87 games in Pawtucket, Jerkberry batted .298 and struck out more than he walked (47 K, 32 BB). He stole 33 bases, placing him in a tie for second in the International League. He was tied with... Darnell McDonald! The dude in first stole 34, but it was in 118 games, so... Well, mathematically, Ellsbury stole .379 per game and the other dude stole .288. Which is a useless number because how do you steal less than one base but more than zero bases per game? I think I've made my point, though. I just expressed it poorly.

Oh, wait, Ellsbury rehabbed in 2010. Four games. He went 5-17. And, oh christ, the controversy.

Two things:
1.
Ohkay, first of all, I LOOOOVE Jacoby Ellsbury! He is the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER on the RED SOX. And by the way, thanks (i (heart) Jacoby Ellsbury) for the email address.

And on your home page it says you were gunna keep things up to date, which you didn't! One of your pages say he's twenty three. He's TWENTY-SIX! And on one page it says he's 186 pounds, when on another page it says he's 185.

YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE THIS SITE NAME! Delete the site so I can make a site called www.jacobyellsbury.webs.com, because mine would actually keeps it's promises and keep him up to date!
- source

2. When Ellsbury rehabbed in 2010, it was on Jacoby Ellsbury Bobblehead Night. It was the first time a player appeared simultaneously with his bobblehead.

And separately, but relatedly, here are some Ellsbury quotes written by ME almost four years ago now:
1. "His mom made the best fry bread..."
2. "Jacoby Ellsbury update: Ellsbury singled, doubled, tripled, and stole a base. He also scrapes his cleats cleaner than anyone on the team."
3. "Ellsbury stole a base. Pfft. One-trick pony."
4. "Bobby Livingston pitched the first complete game shutout for Louisville in three years. Jacoby Ellsbury beat out a bunt to first in the sixth inning and then got caught in a rundown. Ellsbury eluded the tag, though. Livingston had this to say: 'Jacoby's a fast guy. When I swung the tag he juked me. I tried to dive back and put my glove in front of the bag, but he beat me to it.' Wow, juked by Ellsbury!"

Jacoby Ellsbury's in the middle of the first base tower. Paz afuera!

3.11.2011

Ramp Champ #24: David Eckstein

David Eckstein is an infielder who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2000. He was 25.

Through 119 Pawtucket games, Eckstein batted .246 with 20 doubles. He hit one lonely home run.

Two things:
1. David Eckstein is the all-time Pawtucket Hit By Pitch leader (and, evidently, the International League leader as well) with 20 in one season. Second place (10 HBP) is not even close. This is what happens when you don't drink beer.
2. Please enjoy this story about Eckstein's horrible Pawtucket slump. The hitting coach was not Arnie Beyeler... It was Gary Biagini.

David Eckstein's picture is in the middle portion of the home plate tower.

3.08.2011

Ramp... Champ? 23: Steve Dillard

Steve Dillard is an infielder who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1974 and 1975. And in 1976, but they were called the Rhode Island Red Sox at the time. The plasma center is only open on Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays and Fridays. Saturday and Sunday they're closed.

In 1974, at age 23, Dillard exploded with a mighty crash from Double-A Bristol, playing 90 Pawtucket games. He had 89 hits, 30 for for extra bases.

The next season (75), Dildo once again split time between double and triple A. Either way, he only hit one home run all told. His OBP was only .282. He struck out a lot and must have wondered how it ever got this crazy.

Okay, 1976, I see where this is going. Light-hitting infielder. That's the sad, sad truth... The dirty lowdown! Once again, Dillard batted like .230... One home run through 34 games... 10 walks and 16 strikeouts. No wonder he was called up! Fucking Jerry Remy wannabe.

Two things:
1. Steve Dillard got consecutive hits in his first two big league at-bats in 1975. No other Boston player did that until fucking Chris Carter did in 2008. I hate Chris Carter. I hate him even more because everyone else slobbers all over him. I hate him so much. Maybe even more than I hate Tom Caron. I hate Chris Carter and everything he represents. I hate his fake affected limp, like he is some kind of sports hero. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong and what an exceptional guy he is. That will only make me hate him more. Do you know how angry it made me when he came to the park as a visiting player and they played his old at-bat song?

To paraphrase Eric Cartman: "Well FUCK YOU, [Carter]! I hope you die! I hope you fucking die!"

2. "Steve Dillard 9/9 AWESOME guy- one of the nicest managers I've seen in recent times" (source)- Dillard has done some low-level managing in recent years.

I'm not going to bother telling you where to find Dillard. Unless you can prove to me that he is remotely interesting. You know where to find me.

3.07.2011

Ramp Champ #22: Bo Diaz

Bo Diaz was a catcher who played for Pawtucket in 1976-77.

1976 - Diaz played in 62 Pawtucket games. He batted .248 and hit four home runs.

1977 - At age 24, Diaz played in 104 games. He played catcher in every single one of them. Diaz placed first in the International League for games caught that season. I hope you find that fascinating, because it took a lot of stats sifting to come up with that. Like, you can't just look up games played by position in a minor league season.

Two things:
1. 'The Flagrant Fan' blog has a post about catchers who don't walk very often that includes Bo Diaz. I enjoyed reading it and maybe you will, too.
2. Video of Diaz talking about setting up to call pitches and receive them and other catcher jobs.

I know my 'Two Things' entries are not really Pawtucket related, but it was slim pickins.

Bo Diaz died in 1990 at age 37 while installing a satellite on his rooftop. Wicked sad. You can check out his mural in the middle portion of the first base tower.

3.06.2011

Bobs Rodgers and Tewksbury

I used to know this guy named TJ. He was from Connecticut.

He started taking classes in Boston and one day he was all, 'Guess who's in one of my classes?'

Bob Tewksbury. Who was doing televised sports stuff for the Red Sox and really really really seemed dorky. TJ said he was really tall and raised his hand a lot.

Well, who's the dork now? Every other pitcher in the system who struggles at some point says, "And then I had a long talk with Tewks and it really helped me."

I once saw Tewks in Pawtucket wearing a leather blazer. It made me uncomfortable.

McCoy Mural #21: Manny Delcarmen


How can you resist Manny's luscious pout? The dark, hot chocolate eyes? I'll bet the girls chase him plenty! I think I'll call him and hang up when he answers.

Manny Delcarmen is a righty reliever who pitched in 45 games from 2005-2007. I thought maybe he started a few games, but ding dong, I'm wrong. MANNY DELCARMEN DID NOT START A SINGLE GAME IN PAWTUCKET!!! Maybe I am thinking of Papelbon.

In '05, Delcarmen put up a tidy 1.29 ERA through 21 relief innings. He had two saves.

Next season, Delcarmen started off in Pawtucket, but was only there for about a month before being called up. He had 19 K's though ten games.

In 2007, Delcarmen set up deep camp in Pawtucket, pitching in 20 games. Half of them were closerish appearances. His strikeout/walk ratio was 6.24. Are you surprised? I am. Especially since he was hanging out with noted failure Craig Hansen.

And through all of that, Manny Delcarmen gave up only one home run. Remarkable.

Two things:
1. Read this story again, please, because it's terrific. RJ smacks up Delcarmen! Stinko de Mayo!
2.
Favorite food: Pizza
Favorite TV Show: Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Favorite Movie: Bad Boys 1 and 2
Favorite Musical Artist: Eminem
Favorite Video Game: baseball games
Favorite Celebrity: Will Ferrell
Favorite Hobby: candlepin bowling
Favorite City: Toronto
Favorite Sports Moment: Making my dream come true and pitching at Fenway Park for the Red Sox
Favorite Athlete: Pedro Martinez
Best Friend in Baseball: Charlie Zink and Craig Hansen

Says here that Manny Delcarmen's image is not yet a McCoy reality, so I have no location for it. Except for that little spot he has in my heart.

Yup.

3.01.2011

Brian Daubach is number 20!


I get stupid, I mean outrageous. Brian Daubach is a first baseman who played in 103 Pawtucket games: Nine games in 1999, one game in 2001, and 93 games in 2004. 2004, hmm, why does that year stick out for me?

2004 - Daubach was signed as a free agent by Boston after he went and played for Chicago and stuff. He spent most of the season in Pawtucket and hit 21 home runs in 93 games. Daubach shared his first base time with Earl Snyder. I am atremble with nostalgia and yearning.

Daubach was second on the team that year in OPS and RBI and number one in IBB, because his power was so frightening.

Two things:
1. Daubach did not expect to be sent to Pawtucket in '04, but Boston wanted a third catcher (Andy Dominique). "I was surprised. Probably for the first time in my career it snuck up on me," Daubach said. - source
2. "Daubach was voted a half share for the 30 games that he played in 2004 before being designated for assignment on June 6 to Triple-A Pawtucket. He will get a World Series ring." - Sun Sentinal

If you want to press your boobs up against Daubach's mural, get yourself to the middle portion of the first base tower.

2.27.2011

Hang on, Stupid.

I just reviewed my links and whoa, a lot of people have quit the biz. I had to delete about 12 blogs. My sustained excellence is not going to get me a deserved invite to Media Day in Pawtucket, though. That's okay, because I think the whole point is to talk to players and I really don't want to do that.

Well, sometimes I imagine taking a Stuttering John approach and asking a couple of meatball questions and then blasting some minor league dope with, "Which players' wife would you most like to bang?" Brendan McGair would be so jealous. I mean, more jealous.

Maybe I'll change the name of my blog to "PawSox Heavy". Is that legal?

And to all the other people I link to: Please don't stop! I know it's hard, but it's worth it in the end when you can give yourself fake awards!

This year I expect to be a strong contender for 2011 Central Falls Blogger of the Year, Best of Rhode Island's Sports Blog of the Year, Dorothy Everton Smythe Award for Excellence in Sportswriting, and the Anti-Corporate Conformist Smash the State Award for Best Subversive Take-Down of Millionaire Phony Jock Assholes.

Mike Lowell gets smashed.

A few years ago, I did a very bad thing in Lowell.

Looks like I got my come-uppance, because my bobblehead is now in a million pieces. I am so saddened by this that I held his tiny head close to my face and kissed it on the lips.

Farewell, handsomery.

McCoy Mural #19: Steve Crawford

Steve Crawford is a dandy and a big righty who did some scattered Pawtucket time in the 80's. He pitched in 49 games, mostly as a starter.

1982- Crawford is 24 and starts ten games, going 1-4. He pitched 46 innings, so, what, 4.6 innings per game? I know my gazintas. His ERA was 4.11.

1983 - Crawford's now 25 and he starts 27 games with Pawtucket, four of them complete. Crawford goes 8-11 with a 5.18 ERA.

1984 - Okay, so Crawford's not much of a starter. He pitches in seven games for Pawtucket as a reliever. Maybe he is rehabbing, who knows?

1986- Five games for Crawford, none of them interesting. He could have made tonight a wonderful thing.

Two things:
1. Screw you. You try finding two interesting things about a player that don't include anything about the majors or other minor league teams aside from Pawtucket. I have to sift through a lot of search results to find maybe one tiny nugget of information. AND FOR WHAT? Do you know how awesome this undertaking is? I do it out of the kindness of my heart, like Derek! Maybe in the year 2000 my genius and dedication will be recognized, but for now, you're probably better off reading one of the other million boring Red Sox blogs.

I am really looking forward to my next guy. Who wants to guess who it is? Hint: I'm going in alphabetical order.

2.25.2011

Do you like the Braves, Marshon Brooks?

I really wanted to go to that game.

The off-season sucks for baseball fans who aren't very interested in other, lesser sports. Over the past few years, though, I've been hitting up Friars basketball games and it's been helpful.

So of course I had to miss Brooks' big 52 point game. And he's been my favorite all along. I wish I could thank him in person for being exciting.

This is his last year, so sucks to that. I've got my eye on Kadeem Batts, though.

Ramp Champ #18: Scott Cooper

Scott Cooper is a third baseman who played in 261 games for the Pawtucket Red Sox between 1990-91. Which is when I was there, but we didn't like date or anything. Whatever.

In 1990, at age 22, Cooper hit 12 home runs in 124 games. Somehow, this only translated into 44 RBI. I wonder where he usually played in the lineup? Imagine a website with every lineup for every game ever played in the history of OB. GALACTIC.

Cooper fared a bit better in '91, leading the team in games played (137), RBI (72), HBP (7), hits (134!), and intentional walks (11).

But wait, there's more! Cooper was second in the International League for games played that year. AND HE WAS NUMBER ONE IN INTENTIONAL WALKS! Alright, Hamilton!

Two things:
1. Scott Cooper's backup third base-iness resulted in Jeff Bagwell being traded to Houston for uninteresting reliever Larry Andersen.
2. "[Russ] Davis is a nice little upgrade on Charlie Hayes, so the Giants gain a wee bit of depth. Sadly, Davis's career doesn't look like it will significantly outlast that of the man who arguably wrecked it: Wade Boggs. I guess he and Scott Cooper can kick back over a couple of beers and kvetch on the day the Chickenkiller is elected to the Hall of Fame." - from a very old transaction report

Scott Cooper is ready and waiting for you in the middle portion of the home plate tower.

2.21.2011

Ramp Champ #17: Cecil Cooper

Cecil Cooper is a first baseman who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1971 and 1973. In '72, Cooper played for Louisville, which was the AAA team for Boston at the time. The next year, Pawtucket was triple-A. BAM, like that.

In 1971, Cooper batted .343 through 98 games. He also hit 10 home runs. Pawtucket was an Eastern League team that season.

In '73, at age 23, Cooper played in 128 games. He hit 15 home runs (team leader) and had 77 RBI (again leading the team.)

Cooper was tied for fifth in RBIs in the International League that same season. He was tied for second in doubles and held sole possession of third place in hits.

Cooper and couple of other bums have the highest all-time stolen base percentage for Pawtucket with 91.7.

Two things:
1. In September of '73, Cooper played an afternoon game in Pawtucket, drove to Yankee Stadium to join Boston, and got his first at-bat in the seventh inning.
2. Cooper and couple of other bums have the highest all-time stolen base percentage for Pawtucket with 91.7.

Cecil Cooper's mural is in the lobby of the first base tower.

2.20.2011

Ramp Champ #16: Tony Conigliaro

Tony Conigliaro was an outfielder who played in 37 games for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1975. He was 30 years old.

Conigliaro went 25-37 that season with three home runs and 12 RBI.

He was hit by a pitch twice.

Two things:
1. Conigliaro's last games were in Pawtucket. He went down there in June and retired in August. "He was dropping easy fly balls in the outfield," said teammate Buddy Hunter.
2. Evidently, Conigliaro and Pawtucket alumnus Nomar G. have several things in common.

Tony Conigliaro's mural is in the upper portion of the home plate tower.

2.16.2011

Problematic spring training photo captions from the Providence paper.

Come on. At least spell the players' names correctly.

1. "Josh Reddick, gets' ready for the bat cage."

2. "Catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia makes the fans happy, with autographs."

3. "Picher Jon Lester talks with teammates."

4. "Left handed pitcher, Andrew Miller stretches."

5. "Che-Hsuan Lin, and Ryan Kalish work out."

6. "Pitchers workout in the background as ball are kept in the waiting."

7. "Jason Varitek signs autograph for a happy crowd today..."

8. "Leading the pack Catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Jason Varitek, and Louis Exposito, as the players walk to the field for the first workout." (Louis?)

9. "Players take turn at the batting cage."

10. "Reflection of the workout on Jason Variteck's helmet."

11. "New relief pitcher Bobby Jenks, works out as Josh Beckett is in back."

12. "Junichi Tazawa and Kyle Welland steach out."

13. "The media reflects on Josh Beckett's sunglasses." ("Maz, where have we seen sunglasses like that before? Hmmmm...")

I certainly hope it was a spastic, comma-happy intern in charge of the captions. And not... Paid. Sportswriters.

2.15.2011

I read a book.

I am reading Doug Glanville's book. The best part about it is how he explains the logistics of being a baseball player, like what happens when you get traded. It scratches this deep, unceasing itch I have in my head... The part of my brain that can't get over the impossibility of being a professional athlete.

It would be like my boss calling me up and saying "You've been transferred to Chicago. Your flight is leaving tomorrow morning." But... WHAT. I have a house! And stuff! What about my goldfish? I don't get it! But, no... the ratio of cake... Wait! And then, what, do I have to get an apartment? How will I have time for this? Why is Curt Schilling still hanging out in Massachusetts? Do outfielders have a lot of mosquito bites? HOW DO RELIEVERS SHARE A TINY BULLPEN FOR AN ENTIRE SUMMER AND NOT KILL EACH OTHER?! How is it reasonable that some ugly modefoque like, say, 75% of all baseball players gets mad ladies?! When I get traded to a new city, where can I comfortably get a beer after work? Where can I get a coffee? WHO HAS THE BEST BURRITOS?! Do they drive to spring training so they have their car?

I think I hate my job. Who's with me? More importantly, who wants to hire me?

Ramp Champ #15: Roger Clemens

Roger Clemens is a right-handed pitcher who pitched in a total of nine games for Pawtucket, scattered through '84, '93 and '95.

In 1984, at age 21, Clemens pitched in seven Pawtucket games, going 2-3. He started six of them. Clemens gave up three home runs and 14 walks. Let's see, that was 46.2 innings so say 6.6 innings per game. Except there was one relief appearance so this is getting into advanced math territory and I don't think algebra and baseball should be dancing together. It's like trying to cage a wild animal - sure, you can do it, but wouldn't you rather run into a Kodiak while you're making a snowman instead of throwing popcorn at it at the zoo?

Roger Clemens started one game in 1993 and one in 1995. I'm sure it brought the house down.

Two things:
1. Clemens had nothing but kind words regarding the loss of Ben Mondor: "Lots of prayers and hugs out to Ben Mondor's family. I am very thankful to have met him." (via Twitter)
2. Evidently, Clemens hung out here post-game while in Pawtucket. It is no longer there. Hey, I used to go there! They certainly never broadcast this information with autographed photos on the wall.

Roger Clemens' mural is in the lobby of the first base tower.

2.13.2011

Jim Rice is a scumbag - treats kids like shit

I found this. Enjoy.

Ramp Champ #14: Rick Burleson

Rick Burleson am, is, was, are and be a shortstoppy/second base-type character who played for Pawtucket from 1972-1974. The Pawtucket Red Sox were double-A in '72, in case your mom never told you after her late-night stripper shift.

In 72, at age 21, Burleson batted .236 through 136 games. In '73, it was .252 through 146. Burleson was 13th in the International League that year for hits, with 120. He shared that accomplishment with three other people.

Burleson's crowning achievement in 1973 was leading the entire league in games played with 146. That would be every single game that Pawtucket played that year. Perhaps he celebrated with a beer or two.

Burleson played a mere 10 games for Pawtucket in 1974, going 14 for 41.

Two things:
1. "Red Sox shortstops are cursed. Not just the current lot, either. They haven’t had a shortstop start the majority of games at SS for six years in a row since Rick Burleson. He ended his string in 1980 when they traded him (and started Glenn Hoffman instead—looking at Hoffman’s lifetime stats, perhaps someone should have made him a pitcher too.) Theo Epstein has been proven (sort of) to be a rather crappy evaluator of shortstops. I had wondered why Orlando Cabrera, despite poor quality, wasn’t in this list until I remembered they traded for him in 2004 and he didn’t catch on." - posted by "morineko" on Brew Crew Ball (NOV 2009)
2. "My undernuts are itchin'!" - This has little to do with Rick Burleson, but when else can you use the word 'undernuts'?

Rick Burleson's mural is in the lobby of the first base tower. Learn it. Know it. Live it.

2.08.2011

Baby Chris Carter smiles with his eyes.

"I've been thinking about my pose for the Pawtucket poster thing. I should hold a bat over my shoulder! No, that's too cliche. I should pretend like I'm swinging the bat. Nah, that might block my face. How about if the bat's across my shoulders and I'm kind of hanging my arms over it? No, no, Carlos Beltran already did that. What if... What if I'm propping myself up with the bat, like all casual... No, no, I think Nomar did that. Okay, forget the bat..."

Ramp Champ #13: Ellis Burks

Tonight I have the unparalleled honor of an Ellis Burks in Pawtucket feature. Ellis, give to me your leather, take from me my lace. Could you ever love a man like him?

Ellis Burks is an outfielder who played a grand total of 17 games with the PawSox and yet he's got a poster and fuck you, we are talking about this. In 1987, at age 22, Burks batted .225 through 11 games. He did hit three home runs, though.

Burks squeezed five more Pawtucket games into his schedule in 1989 and went 3-21.

And then, 15 years later at age 39, Burks played a June game during a rehab assignment. He only reached base once after being hit by a pitch. WHO DID THAT?? Damn it, why wasn't I doing game summaries back then? Oh, right, because I was too busy fellating Boston. That was a crazy year. Who wants to talk about it with me tonight at the Beer Library?

Two things:
1. Ellis Burks was a good friend to stolen Pawtucket man Darnell McDonald many years ago, advising him to turn on the jet fuel and hustle.
2. Who is Tim Burks? "Yeah, everyone knows that Tim Burks was the outfielder on the Red Sox in 1986. Unfortunately, he vanished off the face of the earth leaving no records of his existence. Coincidentally, a fellow by the name of Ellis Burks came to the Sox in 1987 with the same stastics that poor Tim had the year prior. Why this wasn't on Unsolved Mysteries is a mystery to me." - posted by "vgp100" on Dee-Nee Forums (AUG 2003)

GAH!!!! I want this picture so bad... Just imagine it up there, leading everything off. See it for real in the first base lobby. Lovers forever, face to face.

2.05.2011

Ramp Champ #12: Oil Can Boyd


Oil Can Boyd is a right-handed pitcher who did most of his Pawtucket time in 1983, with a handful of games in 1984 and 1987.

In '83, at the age of 23, Boyd started 17 games and finished the season with a 4.04 ERA. 3.15 SO/BB, if you will. He pitched nine complete games. I'm like a broken Shangri-La's record going, "Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no" over and over without ever getting to the "Remember!" and the finger-snapping, but NINE GAMES! Evidently, 1983 is a lot like 1883, except Boyd wears a glove and doesn't smell like whore juice.

Boyd's smattering of other games, other seasons are of no import, so I've opted not to include them here.

Two things:
1. 1983 - Boyd's 129 K's place him third on the IL's strikeout leader board.
2. Boyd has two 15 strikeout games for Pawtucket - One in '83, the other in '84. He broke the 14 K record previously held by Burke Suter. Boyd shares his record with Jin Ho Cho. Such elite company!

Oil Can Boyd's mural is tucked away in the upper turret of the third base tower. I don't think I've seen it, so I'm going to wear a black robber suit and a black robber mask and a black robber beret and break into the park to take a look. I will tiptoe exaggeratedly up the ramp, and then perhaps slink off into the night carrying a sack with a big dollar sign on it. Which is way more exciting than some stinky football game.

2.03.2011

Ramp Champ #11: Wade Boggs


Wade Boggs is a third baseman who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1980-81 from ages 22-23. As of this year, he is in the IL Hall of fame, which is located nowhere. Come on. Even Canada has a sports hall of fame. It's darling!

In 1980, Boggs batted .306 through 129 games. In '81, Boggs was the greatest player McCoy Stadium ever saw, playing in 137 games and batting .335 with a .437 OBP. He led the team in walks, doubles, hits, OPS, walks, runs, and intentional walks. Boggs' hands were never cold.

But if you insist on knowing my bliss, I will also point out that Boggs led the entire league in AVG, hits and doubles. You should have known by the tone of my voice, but you didn't listen.

Two things:
1. Wade Boggs is the motherfucker who tied the game in the 21st inning of the LONGEST GAME IN BASEBALL HISTORY.
2. In spite of being a golden god in Pawtucket in '81, Boggs was not called up.

Wade Boggs is in lobby of the first base tower. Not his portrait, it's really him. He's been waiting forever for you.

2.01.2011

Ramp Champ #10: Todd Benzinger


Todd Benzinger is an outfielder who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox from 1985-87. His Pawtucket batting average (PBA) was .275 over that time. Damn, I should have used this stuff for the nine other guys! Too late now!

In 1985, at age 22, Benzinger played in 75 games and hit 11 home runs. He clung to that number, hitting another 11 in 1986. And then, WHAT, 13 in 1987! Through 65 games! ARE YOU FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW?

Two things:
1. "had a ball I got from a foul ball in batting practice at Riverfront Stadium in Cincy. Snuck down a few levels and got down by the Reds dugout to try and get it signed. Mariano Duncan(douchebag award recipient) keeps telling everyone to disperse in his latino accent. Todd Benzinger(Caught the winning out for the Reds in the World Series in 1990 and award winner for awesomeness) points at me and motions for the ball in my hand. I toss it down to him with a pen. He disappears down into the dugout for a few minutes, then he walks down to the bullpen. He comes back to the side of the dugout and motions for me to come down to the side of the dugout, where he gave me the ball. It had every single signature of what became the 1990 World Champion Cincinnati Reds, minus one signature, that douchebag Mariano Duncan. " - "Villiano 187" from the LOP Forums

2. Wait, did this really happen? "The Dragons were off yesterday celebrating Prince's 52nd birthday... in recognition of this special day, Dragons manager Todd Benzinger hosted a "Prince Party" at which members of the entire Dayton organization including players and front office personnel, dressed up in tiny purple clothes and jammed out to the pop star's laundry list of hit songs... the party's finest moment came when Dragons' pitching coach Tony Fossas, dressed as Appolonia, sang a roaring rendition of 'Lets Go Crazy'." - from the Reds Minor League Report, June 8th 2010.

Todd Benzinger's warrior-like mural can be found in the middle of the third base tower.