5.14.11 Pawtucket v Scranton Wilkes-Barre

I truly take no joy in being right about Kris Johnson sucking. I certainly would rather have a win. Hooray, I totally called it. Sigh.

Yankees win 10-2. SWB starter (and game winner) DJ Mitchell pitched six and 2/3 innings, giving up two runs on three hits. The two Pawtucket runs were like this thing in the sixth inning where Josh Reddick hit a two-run homer. So that was good.

Mitchell struck out six and walked four. He threw 113 pitches. His ERA is 2.50. Mitchell is from North Carolina and he went to Clemson... He hates being stuck in traffic and his turn-ons are sunsets on the beach, light rock, and ladies who let him touch their boobs.

Okay, I'm stalling. Kris Johnson took the loss for the Red Sox. Johnson got two groundouts right away in the top of the first, which I'm sure no one thought twice about because they were too busy buying cotton candy for their kids. No really. Out of the 8,292 people in attendance, how many do you think had heard of Kris Johnson, let alone know about the likelihood of him blowing the g.d. game?

So with two outs, sexy young catcher Jesus Montero hit a double to center. Jorge Vazquez, who is one of the most prolific hitters in the IL, flied deep to center... Home run. Another big-timer, center fielder Justin Maxwell, followed that up with a single to center. Reddick was really busy out there, huh?

Third baseman Brandon Laird hit an RBI double to bring the score to 3-0. Here comes "River" Jordan Parraz... Johnson hits him! D'oh! Designated hitter Luis Nunez was next and he must have been totally salivating. Bam, double, Laird and Parraz score. 5-0. And the inning was over when Ramiro Pena flied out.

How about the second inning? Kevin Russo hit a ground ball to left for a single to get things going for Scranton. Dan Brewer hit a fly ball to right... Caught by Nava. Montero grounded into a force out. Uh-oh, Jorge Vazquez. Vazquez went ahead and hit his 14th home run of the year. 7-0 Scranton. Curtains for Kris Johnson!

Reliever Tony Pena was the next victim. Three innings, eight hits, three runs. The third inning really ruined Christmas for everyone, as there's really no coming back from a 10-0 smackdown.

They are never going to get rid of Kris Johnson.

we were in it, the pit:
1. Jordan Parraz has a brother named Zeke. Here's a picture of him!
2. Josh Reddick's home run in the sixth killed DJ Mitchell's no-hitter. Attaboy, Josh Reddick!
3. Hey, Tommy Hottovy's back! Did you know that Hottovy designed a kit for softening baseball gloves?
4. "Johnson retired the first two hitters before the roof caved in and his earned run average jumped up two full runs to 12.63. Jesus Montero ripped a double to the gap in left center and Vazquez unloaded all over your face, launching a towering blast to dead center that landed on the roof of an equipment shed behind the batter's eye." - full story

I guess if we can't have Rich Hill, then Hottovy's kind of the same thing. Were we talking about Hottovy? CAN'T SPELL HOTTOVY WITHOUT 'HOTT'!!!!!!

TONIGHT! Matt Fox v Andrew Brackman, Purveyor of Pleasure. Oh, it's also Star Wars Day. You should go, it's neat.

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