This picture is described on the Globe's web site thusly: "David Ortiz (left) walks through the terminal after Friday's arrival."

Really, I'm glad they clarified that Ortiz was the person on the left.

Julian Tavarez is going to wear a kimono in his hotel room.

Recently, I was asked by my employer to do some work travel. I said I would and asked for a mileage form.

A couple of days later I was informed that I would not be paid for mileage. That's great. I'm not going. I was offered other, lesser compensation.

Unacceptable.

So as it stands, I am not going. I'm not trying to drive a hard bargain. Gas is expensive. My car is nearly 8 years old. I do not make a lot of money. I only want what is fair.

安全な旅, Boston Red Sox!

DTAMFS

Optioned back to Pawtucket:

Chris Carter, who hit the ball like a mofo this spring. YEAH CHRIS CARTER!!

George Kottaras, who was offensively productive this spring. Stupid jerk.

Craig Hansen, who had sleep apnea surgery yet still sucked. My dislike of Hansen is well-documented in many posts here, so I'll just leave it at that.

Lincoln Holdzkom, who is going to flourish in Pawtucket. He's sort of like an unborn baby who is very close to term. Watch him pop out the chute at McCoy in 2008!

CRAIG HANSEN IS LYING! DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING THIS MAN SAYS! DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY MONEY OR CIGARETTES!

Former Twins catcher Matthew LeCroy has been released by the Oakland A's.

I guess that's how they do it in fast-paced New York!

The Rochester Red Wings begin selling their single game tickets on March 29th. Their first home game is April 11th.

That makes about as much sense as newspaper boxes not accepting nickels.

George Lombard is on the Dodgers.

Former PawSox outfielder George Lombard was fortunate enough to travel to China with the Dodgers. I suggest you check out his video on Yahoo! Sports. You may spot a familiar face walking past in the background toward the end of the video.

Hannahan

Jack Hannahan played for the Toledo Mud Hens (DET) in 2007. He led the International League in OBP!

I just read that he will be the starting third baseman for Oakland.

I also wanted to mention that I did an IL Leaders post a few months ago and mentioned Hannahan. I didn't have to do that. But I wanted to and I did.

So good work, IL'er. Just so you know I did mention your league-leading OBP.

HANNAHAN!

Lou Merloni would hate to lose his teaching job.

Former PawSox great Lou Merloni has retired. He never got that ring.

I'd like to talk about a great Merloni memory I have, but there really isn't one.

At least he didn't release a CD of bad covers of 90's pseudo-grunge.

What's the story, Bryan Corey? (part two)

Two things:
1. Bryan Corey's being scouted by the Orioles.

2. Corey may go play ball in Japan if he doesn't make the majors.

In international news, the guy from the gas company who replaced my meter today was from Colombia. He was a former soccer player but he feels Colombian soccer is a joke! Jose prefers the British soccer teams. Blood and broken bones, gov!

His number one sport? Baseball, which is not big in Colombia. He's from the same part of Colombia as Renteria and O. Cabrera. I encouraged him to take his kids to a PawSox game.

Thank you, Jose!

Mirabelli?

So Mirabelli's been released?

FINALLY!

Assassinate Lincoln!

Lincoln "Sheldon" Holdzkom is back, signed to a major league contract as a free agent. The Phillies had placed him on waivers BECAUSE they'd Rule 5'd him and they didn't want to put him on the 25-man roster.

Curt Schilling was placed on the DL so LH took his spot on the 40-man. This all seems very strange to me, but what the hell.

In other Phillies/PawSox news, former PawSox great Chris Coste has written a book called "The 30-Year Old Rookie". It's his second book and he wrote it ALL BY HIMSELF! I should probably read it.

Chris Coste is likely to be the Phillies' backup catcher in '08. He played first base in the AAA All-Star Game back in '02. And everybody loves him.

Something new about Devern Hansack.

from Strangeland:

"Hansack is too old to have any real hope of further improvement, but those minor league lines translate to at least brief utility in the majors. He still has at least one “option” remaining [he has two], so the Red Sox can shuttle him back and forth between Pawtucket and the majors as often as is necessary in 2008. This flexibility is a mixed blessing for Hansack. It almost guarantees that he will not break camp with the club, beginning the season at AAA, yet it also makes him a prime candidate to be the “first into the breach” if there is an injury in the rotation requiring a DL move. He will get his chances this year, especially if he impresses in Spring Training."

from Ballhype.com:
"Devern Hansack is not the Galan af his comunity, but since he went to play baseball outside his country all the Girls in his comunity want a peace of him, he can get any girl he want in his comunety but only one I sure he would not get, I was investigetin about and her name is Celeste campbell, she is family Lumberto Campbell who she dont cary well with, but she is the most down to earth young woman and will not play in with the game Dever like to play , SCORE and walk all the ahter boys beth that he will not give streike to this bater(Celeste). What make this girl so special ? she is pretty ? smart?

Not so pretty, Not so smart a little of the 2, but she is caractarize as beoutifull person from the inside, a critian but a little liberal about cristian and religion well thats all I could say about this woman for this moment I will investigate more ."

Hansack's been sent back to Pawtucket along with Jonathan Van Every. I am going to have to make a Hansack t-shirt out of old socks or something. Maybe a Nicaraguan flag. I'm hoping he either gets a quick call-up or gets a shot on another team.

Wow, thanks. That's awesome.

Rhode Island is suddenly down a sports radio station. WSKO 790 AM has changed its format. So if you liked the nice local sports thing it had going on, well, go cry to your mama.

I'm kind of disgusted by this, since I can barely stand WEEI. I suppose I could start listening to that crazy Woonsocket station, WOON, eh? They've got a sports show! And they broadcast PawSox games!

They've also got a polka show, Portuguese Beat, Italian music, Western music and poetry (?), and of course, Catholic Mass and Rosary.

1240 AM... check it out!

what's the story, bryan corey?

I have read in two different places that Bryan Corey is probably headed for the Red Sox bullpen this season BECAUSE his number(30) is so low. Are you kidding me? I thought it was the pretty good change-ups he's been throwing.

Corey pitched pretty well v. LAD yesterday and he did a pretty good job in Pawtucket last year. Better than Edgar.

That's all I have. I just wanted to use the awesome title I came up with in the shower.

Take a hike, son.

Ten less at CoP:

Firstly and most importantly, Jeff Bailey, Bearded King of McCoy Stadium, has been sent to minor league camp. JB got 3 hits in 12 ABs. He walked twice and K'd 4 times. Oh, dear. (I had to compile these statistics on my own. WHAT NOW?!) Oh yeah, he was of course hit by a pitch.

Bailey hit a home run in his last game. Yahoo! Sports says it was off "C. Gomez", which would be Carlos Gomez who is not a pitcher. MLB has the more likely "M. Gomez", but there are no stats available for this mystery pitcher.

Never mind. It is LHP Mariano Javier Caballero Gomez! And he is from Honduras! I love Honduras! They donated money for Katrina aid. That is some generosity!

Edgar Martinez and David Pauley were optioned to Pawtucket.

Kyle Jackson and Argenis Diaz were sent to Portland. Oh, they hate that. The Portland weather really screwed with player stats last year.

Also sent to minor league camp: Mike Bowden, Hunter Jones (who is a blood-fisted killer), Justin Masterson, Tony Granadillo, and Gil Velazquez.

Chris Carter Scouting Report (2005)

"Strong kid with loads of BS. Intense player. Massive hips and thighs. Large chest and sloped shoulders. Resembles a heavier Brian Giles. Body will only get worse over time. Not very athletic, limps around whether or not he is injured. Generates tremendous whip and batspeed in swing. Back elbow up and rocks with front shoulders for timing, wraps a bit but bs bails him out.

Bars. Never looks esp. comft. in box. Body drifts ahead of hds but but again he's quick enuf to get thru. Can put wood on any FB. 70 raw power. Can hit ball out to all fields without centering it. First pitch swinger who looks FB. No chance against even avg breaking ball. Doesn't see offspd well out of hand. Inability to hit breaking ball will be achilles heal. At best power will play as strong avg, just has too many holes and flaws in approach to see it playing near his raw. Pitchers who can throw strikes will eat him alive. Anchored @ 1B from a defensive stanpoint as he's too
slow and doesn't throw well enuf to play in the OF any more. Not going to have the bat to play 1B. Will get every ounce out of limited talent and play harder than anyone in league.

Is a AAA bat for me who is good for 20+ HR w/not a lot of avg and a lot more K's as the pitching improves on the way up. Swing has too much going on to have value as power LH bat off bench, rarely see complicated swings w/bench big league bats."

These scouting reports kill me. I hate to reveal my source, but fair's fair and here you go.

goodbye blue sky

Former Pawtucket Red Sox pitcher Scott Cassidy has retired. I can remember Jack Cressand but not Cassidy. D'oh.

Matt Mantei has also retired. Again. He's excited about going home for good:

"I'm cool with it, though. I'm going home to be a dad again. My son doesn't know I'm coming home yet, so he'll be pleased. Plus he's only 5, can't read yet, so he won't read what I'm saying now. It's going to be a surprise. That will be fun."

He's only five. It's going to be a surprise because he's not reading the sports page over coffee and eggs in the morning.

He can't read yet!

Tommy Watkins was excited to play in the majors.

RWB: A question many of us would like to ask: what was the day like when you found out you were getting promoted to the big leagues? I'm sure that for a period of 48 hours or so it's probably crazier than anything we could possibly imagine, with packing your stuff, calling your family and friends, and getting to the airport to get out of town.

TW:" I remember before they told me, a couple of us were in the (batting) cage. They said we have a meeting with about three of us left to still hit. We were like “What do we have a meeting for? We just had a monthly meeting not too long ago.” So we get in and they (Manager Stan Cliburn and Twins GM Terry Ryan) just start talking to us. They said, “One of you guys is going up.” I kind of got light-headed. I didn’t know who they were going to say. After they told me in front of the whole team, I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. I had tears in my eyes, it was just a good moment."

RWB: Who was the first person you saw when you got to Kansas City?

TW: "The first person I saw was Mike Herman, the Twins' PR guy. I went into (Manager Ron) Gardenhire’s office, I set my bags down outside his office and went in to talk to him, and I was kind of scared because I didn't’t know what to expect. After I talked to Gardenhire I came out and my bags were missing, so I didn’t know what happened with that. A lot of guys came over to me and they were happy for me. After that I still didn’t know where my bags were but they were missing for a while. I got a uniform on and went out to hit in the cage, and came back and sat in front of my locker. It was a day game, and Torii (Hunter) came by and said, "You better get out there, the game starts in 15 minutes." And I was like, "15 minutes?" And I went out there and ran a little ...I was ready, but I wasn't ready, you know? I mean, I was terrified and excited all at once. So after the game we caught the bus to the airport, to go to Anaheim. I had my carry-on bag, I wasn't really thinking about my other stuff honestly. So we get to LA, get on the bus, go to the hotel, get off the bus and none of the players grab luggage or anything like that, like in the minors. We get in and Torii's like, "Get ready, we're going to dinner." And I said, "Wait, where's my luggage?" And he said not to worry about it, they would bring it up to the room. It was like magic, all that stuff just gets taken care of."

In other news, the Twins are not a good team this year. I read somewhere that they are projected to finish last in their division and that is just so sad. I could have seen the Twins in Milwaukee, but I chose the Astros. The ASTROS. Just think about that.

The Twins called me the other day but did not leave a message. I'm sure they wanted to commend me on my fine journalism. And guess what? The 'W' on the Twins jersey is just an upside-down 'M'. Go look!

Top Eight Things Deemed Underrated By Brewers Fans

8. spaghetti
7. "Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches - You find me a food that can be made faster, cheaper and more deliciously with more variety."
6. "4 strikes in a row in bowling - Even if you're a really great bowler, 4 strikes in a row still feels really cool to do."
5. record stores
4. orange Tic Tacs
3. mustard
2. Shirley Maclaine
1. "The fact that most everyday thirdbasemen can usually barehand a bunt on the charge, and get the guy at first by a step. It happens all the time, and it is the essence of being a pro, it looks routine."

p. in z.

That was great!

PawSox '08:

Joe Thurston, who I thought was that big first-baseman in the Braves Org., is going to be so cool to see in Pawtucket. Scott Thorman, is that who I am thinking of?

Kottaras had a good night but I still think he sucks.

It turns out Brandon Moss only played first base once while he was in the Dominican. And they're going to keep sticking him there, I guess to torture him. It sure doesn't seem like a versatility showcase. Poor kid.

Jeff Bailey looked bigger. Like he did chin-ups during his break at the Washington paper mill. Unfortunately, he struck out during his only at-bat. I hope he figures everything out and doesn't get K-happy like he did in Pawtucket last year. Also, he has a beard, which does wonders for him. It beats the Jon Lester Patented Hardship Goatee.

Gil Velazquez has a mean, mean face. And mean, mean pride.

Jonathan Van Every! Dan Kolb! Lee Gronkiewicz! Keith Ginter! Chris Carter with unnecessary eyeblack!

Rochester:

Alejandro Machado is still alive! I'm pretty sure he can take down Nick Punto, who must be about 45 at this point.

Other notable Red Wings: On-base machine Tommy Watkins and Garrett "Velvet" Jones. Denard Span started! I'm so glad for him. Chris Basak! STILL!

Normally I avoid using this many exclamation points, but it's a special occasion. I have nothing in-depth to say. I'm just excited, is all. I promise in the future I'll scatter in a few statistical insights.

when it's cold outside

I hate when you're looking at spring training photo galleries and they put in a bunch of shots of people waiting to get autographs. "A lucky fan from Watertown, MA, has their baseball signed by Varitek." So stupid.

When I see the pictures of some player doing infield drills, I'm not thinking, man, I wish I were in Florida so I can see this. I'm thinking, I wish I were a baseball player! I'd love to be running around in the sunshine with a glove on my hand! It's not fair! I deserve it more than these assholes do! I'm a much better person!

But it's about physical ability, of course. So I need to get over it.

Friday night, tomorrow night, me and baseball are going to be reunited. Sure, I could watch the Twins/Sox game with someone else, but I think I need this time alone. It's been a long time, baby.

I'm Matt M and I'm back from the dead.

Former Red Sox great Matt Mantei has emerged from retirement and is now hanging out with the Detroit Tigers, wishin'. And hopin'. Dontrelle Willis makes small talk with him and then turns and asks Verlander, "Who is that guy? Is he with us?"

Good luck, Mantei! In the meantime, please enjoy a picture of his black car. I'm not a car person, so I don't know what kind it is, but it falls under the category of "Assholemobile".

In other news, Cecil Fielder's become a Can-Am manager. When the Atlantic City Surf comes to Brockton, be sure and say hello.

Do they call it Brock-town? Because I'm going to start doing that.

Manny Delcarmen and 'Sox'... they had a thing going on.

Saw Manny Delcarmen on the TV talking about his potentially increased bullpen role and all his hard work over the break. When asked about his late-season success in Boston, he mentioned the Stinko de Mayo Disaster in Buffalo as a turning point for him. Damn!

I hope I get the chance to bring this up again and again.

Plenty of t-shirts left!

Former PawSox great BK Kim has been signed by the Pittsburgh Pirates. Did you know that he was close friends with former PawSox jerk Hee-Seop Choi? I think enough time has gone by and I can tell you that Choi was kind of an asshole who sucked at the plate. I saw him dis many a fan. I probably mentioned that already, but it bears repeating.

From the Providence Journal:
"Pawtucket hosted an autograph session with its players on the field prior to the club's game against the Rochester Red Wings. More than a thousand fans gathered on the warning track around the field to meet with players, who were sitting at tables. The only player not involved at the start of the session was Kim.

When he finally emerged from the clubhouse, opened the door to the dugout and witnessed just how many people were on the field, his jaw literally dropped and he turned as white as the chalk in the batters' box.

He quickly took refuge in the trainer's room and it took him 35 minutes to calm down before a team official escorted him out to his designated spot to sign autographs."

I feel like BK got a bad rap. Everyone pegged him as a hostile weirdo, but what the fuck. God forbid a pitcher not be a meathead turbo-jock who drinks Coors Light and listens to Slipknot/Godsmack/Creed. I'm talking to you, every other pitcher in MLB.

Getting to know Argenis Diaz.

Argenis Diaz is on the Red Sox 40-man roster. It is CRIMINAL that I know nothing about him, so let's get back to the countdown.

Diaz is a shortstop who played for the Greenville Drive last season. He pretty much ripped it up playing winter ball in Hawaii... until he hit a slump.

What we are most likely looking at is a great defensive shortstop who doesn't hit for power. He should start the year in Lancaster and then we will see. And by we, I mean you. I don't keep track of the California Kidz.

El Barto

Wicked fat starting pitcher Bartolo Colon's been signed (sort of) to a minor league contract by the Boston Red Sox. Yeah? You can compare him physically to Edgar Martinez, but let's break it down:

RHP Colon: 5'11", 245. Age 34. In 2007, he had a 6.34 ERA. Won the AL Cy Young in 2005. Really?

RHP Edgar: 6'0", 222. Age 26. As a reliever in 2007, he had a 5.16 ERA.

I suppose Edgar is in marginally better shape. I realize I am comparing bananas to pears here. I have now found myself more interested in Edgar Martinez than B. Colon.

So EM was a catcher who couldn't really hit or get on base, but he could throw hard. In July of '04 while he was in A-ball, he was converted to a pitcher. Who made this decision? I don't like it when catchers are encouraged to abandon their trade. MARS NEEDS CATCHERS!!

I saw quite a bit of Martinez in Pawtucket and I liked him less than I liked Jermaine Van Buren (although looking back, I may have been too hard on JVB). He gave up a lot of home runs.... walked too many batters. I didn't like him as a reliever and I don't know where he is going, but I bet it rhymes with "show hair". He's just not impressive.

Best of luck to both guys, anyway.

two mints in one

Sad news: Trot Nixon has been signed to a minor league contract by the Diamondbacks. That's like seeing Aslan after they shaved his mane off... or like Superman getting his ass kicked at some truck stop diner (before he says, "That's funny... I've never seen garbage eat garbage before). Oh, Trot Nixon. Love will find a way.

Blogger has a new feature where your readers can click on something and call you. Whoa! At first I had images of random people calling me and saying, "Your blog could use some work.... let me tell you what you need to do so you can stop sucking." But come on. I know what's really going to happen. My MOM is going to click on it and say to me over the phone, "Hi, honey! I just wanted to tell you I'm reading your blog! I love you! I'm so proud of you!"

I don't get Kyle Snyder. He's still here? How did he manage that? I always forget about him.

Chris Carter updates

Chris Carter is getting to the complex at 5 a.m. That is early in ways I cannot conceive of. Chris Carter is working on his fielding, as he is considered an infield lummox who needs to work on his strike zone. (Remember that hit song "Workin' on Your Strike Zone" by Soul2Field? I used to get my freak on to that joint back in '99.)

Chris Carter may be trampling all over Sean Casey's bench job, but we'll see.

Chris Carter is nearly as fast a runner as Ellsbury/Crisp. Mmmm... Ells-berry Crisp ala Mode.

Chris Carter has had hamate bone surgery, just like Dustin Pedroia!

It sucks doing an internet search for Chris Carter. There are just too many of them.

March 1 v. Twins! Hansack and Pauley scheduled to pitch! I hope it's televised!

Can we get someone down there?

The Boston Red Sox are in Fort Myers for spring training. You can read all about Manny Ramirez, Jacoby Ellsbury, Curt Schilling, Coco Crisp, Jason Varitek. Great coverage, everybody.

Hey! What about the minor leaguers? Oh, well, here's a few pictures of Justin Masterson and Michael Bowden. Look at the talent! Do you think Masterson will start the year in Portland or Pawtucket?

Would it kill someone to take a look at the non-prospect people down there? What about all of us Devern Hansack fans? What if I wanna see what Jeff Bailey's up to? Brandon Moss? Uhhh... Charlie Zink? Help me out! I'm trying to do this damn thing! Don't they have some crappy little newspaper in Pawtucket? Send down Brendan McGair or something!

Dusty Brown, not Kottaras. Put that on a sign or something.

giddy-up

I have a personal credo, which is: I Never Pay For Parking. (I also 'Park In The First Available Spot' rather than cruise the lot for something close.) But I do pay, at times, when I am in some strange land with no side streets and no non-resident parking. For the most part, though, I Never Pay For Parking. I hate it, I think it's stupid, I will park 12 blocks from my destination and schlep through the Providence Arctic Wind Vortex for my event du noir. Even those rare times I've driven to Fenway... I come up via Rte 9 and park near Simmons College. Probably a mile from the park what with all the Fens zig-zagging, but I'll be damned if I pay 20-50 bucks!

OK, I did a little Miller Park research and I guess there's no free parking to be had there. The fans are somewhat up in arms over the parking rate increase as well. And so when you buy your tickets online, you have the option to add the parking to your bill (it costs a little more on the day of the game). So I pick up the parking options and when my final bill is totted up, I see they've added a $2 convenience fee for the parking! Are you kidding me? Just when I thought I'd seen the most egregious forms of price gougery, they hit me with this! I mean, are you fucking kidding me?

I think what I am going to do is find out if they have a 800 number. Then I'll call it several times for no reason... maybe float around in their voice mail system as I reorganize my photo albums or balance my checkbook. Inflate their phone bill. That'll learn 'em!

Yay! I got Brewers tickets! YEAH SAUSAGE RACES!!!

The Station Fire: Five years ago...

As a Rhode Islander, you can't help being hit hard by the tragedy, even if you didn't lose someone. There are barely over a million of us... the people we lost were our family. People who sat with you in the stands at McCoy, or stood in line with you at Rocky Point, or went to concerts with you at the Civic Center. Did you ever listen to Dr Metal's Saturday night show on WHJY? I know I did, back in my high school metalhead days. And now he is gone, one of the one hundred.

Chuck Klosterman has written:

"This was not a bunch of hipsters trying to be seen by other hipsters; these were blue-collar people all trying to unironically experience music that honestly meant something to them when they were teenagers.
I remember everyone gossiping about the Station fire the day after it happened; people would concede that it was tragic, but no one could discuss it without a fraction of a smirk...
Somehow, it was socially acceptable to condescendingly chuckle at the death of the overtly uncool people in Rhode Island, sort of how you can immediately make a joke about a massive earthquake, as long as it happens in some distant place like Iran or China."

Anyway, these people are in my overtly uncool thoughts today...

Smarch

What the hell. It seems like everyone should start playing baseball like, tomorrow. Instead the first baseball game I am scheduled to attend is April 3rd. April! That's 44 fucking days away! Yeah, I know they're doing it in Arizona and Florida, but how does that help me?

The Buffalo Bisons and the Rochester Red Wings have not even started selling single game tickets yet. ANY DAY NOW, KIDS!!! Brewers tickets go on sale Saturday and I can't wait. I'm wondering if there will be a VWR for Milwaukee. I heard it from a friend who heard from a friend who said they're mad tailgaters in Beerland, WI. I am insanely excited about going to Milwaukee. I have wanted go there forever... and not even for baseball reasons. Not to hang out with Alice Cooper or Andrew Squigmond. Only because it is beautiful.

February is agony. And when March comes, I won't even be able to enjoy the evolution of spring. Or the coming of Easter, since my Lenten sacrifice has been rather difficult.

Even my mother is attending a Cactus League game. Brewers v. Mariners with a side of Sausage Race. "HIC-(killme)-UP".

PS Coco Crisp may ask to be traded. Does that make a difference? "Can you please trade me?" "NO." "Okay." Or do they say "Let's see what we can do" and then make a few phone calls? Baseball is confusing and liarhead.

The Rochester Red Wings love you hard.

The Red Wings official site is excellent. Can't wait to go back to Frontier Field and freeze to death!

Ben Mondor and the International League Hall of Fame

The IL Hall of Fame is back! Nothing's been going on since 1964, but 2008 is the 125th anniversary of the IL. It doesn't have a permanent home, so the ILHOF will be making the ballpark rounds in '08.

Ben Mondor and 26 others, including Jim Rice and Joe Morgan, will be inducted this year. Party at McCoy Stadium!!

Torii Hunter is human.

2.15.08 Providence Bruins v Portland Pirates - ???

Portland WINS! 4-2

Okay. I still don't understand the Providence Bruins. I mean, I guess I always knew there were people who liked hockey... people who like hockey more than any other sport. But I don't think I've ever seen one, you know?

And yet I go to a Providence Bruins game and there they are, in their hats and jerseys. Some bring cowbells. A few old-timers in their Providence Reds jerseys. Eight thousand plus fans, many of them passionate and involved. You should have seen the old woman next to me last night! She was SCREAMING and tossing peanut shells! FURIOUS with the Bruins' inability to score! At times, she was unintelligible. Man! She must have been from Woonsocket!

One thing I thought was neat: a players' stick got wedged between the plexi-wall windows. It stuck way out over the ice for a few minutes until a ref came and yanked it out. How does that happen?

Bobbleheads were given to the first 1500 fans last night.

PS Sean Curry is my favorite.

don't be afraid to care

Longtime Twins catcher Matthew LeCroy has been signed to a minor league contract by the Oakland A's. I would pay a lot of money (in Euros) to watch him catch Keith Foulke during spring training.

Although he spent most of his career in the Twins' organization, he played for the Nationals in '06. You may recall that he was removed from a game that year because the Astros stole seven bases while he was catching. Nationals manager Frank Robinson broke down in the post-game press conference. LeCroy fully supported the move, saying his daddy would have done the same.

I also found some old batting notes from his time in Rochester. For LeCroy, the notes mention "Yesterday: Danced on field w/Jimmy". What in the world does that mean? The notes also mention his last homer was off Charlie Zink. Wow, was I at that game?

He will be missed in the IL.

He can do it?

Manny Delcarmen might have to step up and be the closer from time to time. Or set it up Okajima-style. John Farrell talked to him and has challenged him with a role of increased importance. Let's hope for a big year from Delcarmen.

The PawSox souvenir shop sells game worn jackets. They're authentically dirty and have been authentically recycled, as evidenced by the Sharpied, crossed-out, and re-Sharpied numbers on the inner tag. I have a serious jones for the Jeff Bailey model, but at $200 I have to wait. The Manny Delcarmen jacket is $300, but is very large (almost...extra-large.)

February is short, yet long.

spring training

People are starting to show up to camp, which is good. It's like a resurrected corpse punching its way through the coffin, through the cold dirt, and you're in the cemetary to fool around with your boyfriend and suddenly an emaciated, bony hand explodes from the grave you're on top of. YEAH! It's a lot like that. YEAH ZOMBIE BASEBALL!

In a related story, baseball players are not looking forward to travelling to Japan. Oh, really, baseball players? Did I hear you lamenting the abbreviated games and practices? Because I seem to recall every single other year that you said "Spring training is great but it lasts too long. You're pretty much ready to go after a couple of weeks."

You think your life is hard? Someone gave me a little glass "Birthstone Bear" figurine. It's a bear holding a heart-shaped representation of my ugly birthstone. Also, the bear has wings. And it's sitting atop a little round mirror. It looks like something you might purchase with Skee-Ball tickets.

I still dig Doug.

Like iron-rich blood sinking to the bottom of a fluid-filled test tube, Doug Mientkiewicz's baseball career is similarly drowning. And so the Pittsburgh Pirates have signed him to a minor league contract. Hey, Doug, good news! The Pirates called! No, you're not going to Pittsburgh. More like Indianapolis.

Also a possible McCoy stadium visitor? Steve Trachsel! Norfolk Tides!

Foulke: Super-dope homeboy back in Oaktown.

Keith Foulke's back on the A's. There are many things I don't understand about all this, but okay, good for him. He's going to be a reliever, just like Alan Embree. I'm sure they'll have lots to catch up on!

I'm going to go buy tickets to an A's game in Boston now. What has two thumbs and loves Keith Foulke?

Hey, Mets fans!

The Mets home opener is Tuesday, April 8th, but maybe you might wanna wait and go on Friday, the 11th. Assuming Santana is your #1, that'll be the kid's first home game.

2.8.08 Providence Bruins v. Hartford Wolf Pack - Pastings

Hartford WINS! 7-5

This would be the best P-Bruins game I've ever been to, in spite of the loss During the first period, the teams beat the shit out of each other and many, many players received penalties. The Bruins were hit pretty hard and Hartford took full advantage by scoring like four goals in the second period.

The Bruins wore Providence Reds jerseys which will be auctioned off on Monday.

Also, Don Orsillo attended this game with the family. At first I thought, wow, he is slumming, but what the hell? He lives in Rhode Island and he's no different than the rest of us. Us Rhody folk. He probably had himself a coffee milk.

In the middle of a bath I call your name....

Oh, Johan!

The Mets? Perfect. Now maybe I don't want to see the Twins in Milwaukee. No Santana, no Torii Hunter, no Mientkiewicz or Pierzinski or Jacque Jones? No Corey Koskie? LaTroy Hawkins? The Twins as I have loved them are no longer.

I guess there's always Restovich and Cuddyer. And Joe Nathan and Boof Bonser. And Rochester...

I'm still going to Milwaukee, but now if I don't get Twins tickets I won't die.

Brewerfans.net is a great website, by the way. A lot of people around here seem to think that no other team has passionate, intelligent fans. Shut up, People Around Here.

Daniel Nava: YOU WILL BE HAPPY

Santa Clara U. grad Daniel Nava. Future goals include playing professional baseball. Coming to a double-A ballpark near you!

The 24-year-old Mr. Nava played for the Golden Baseball League's Chico Outlaws in California. He's a talented switch-hitting outfielder that'll probably play in Portland. What does this mean to me? It means I'll be checking out some Sea Dogs games in Connecticut and New Hampshire. I think this is going to be great. Can't wait to see him in spring training! Isn't he adorable?!

"You have no idea how excited I am," Nava said from his home in Los Altos. "I am so pumped ... all I really asked for was a chance, and now I'm going to do everything I can to take advantage of it."

I guess he's excited, too! YEAH BASEBALL!! Pop off the top and rock with my posse!

Another pitcher? Really?

Jacob Miller, RHP, signed by Boston Red Sox. Except he's really Matt Miller. And he's older than I am.

Here're the new (probably Pawtucket) people so far:

1. LHP Jay Marshall, claimed off A's waivers...wait, he was reclaimed by Oakland. (?)
2. OF Daniel Nava, top ranked independent league player, signed to Red Sox contract.
3. RHP Lee "Lee" Gronkiewicz
4. OF J. Van Every
5. 3B Keith Ginter
6. C Juan Apodaca
7. 2B Joe Thurston
8. SS Tony Granadillo
9. SS Gil Velazquez
10. LHP Jon Switzer
11. LHP Michael Tejera
12. RHP Ben Howard
13. RHP Dan Kolb
14. RHP Dan Miceli
15. RHP Miguel Asencio
16. RHP David Thorne
17. C Steve Torrealba
18. OF Rich Thompson
19. RHP Matt "Jacob" Miller

Wow! We'll have to see where everyone ends up after spring training. The Red Sox should make them all live in the same house and install a confessional and tape their lives.

I'll have to check out Daniel Nava, Mr. Independent. It is wicked, wicked hard to be scouted out of a non-MLB affiliated team.

Still on the PawSox:
1. Zink
2. Bailey
3. Chad Spann
4. Brandon Moss?
5. Kottaras and Breslow?
6. What?

Okay, I am going to stop right there because we are not finished with the off-season. Poor, dumb Brandon Moss... all that work at first base in the Dominican and now we go and sign Millar 2.0 (Casey).

JD Durbin

Last April, the Red Sox claimed former Twins minor leaguer JD Durbin off Diamondbacks waivers. I thought, OK, cool, I know him from the IL. But then Durbin was all, 'Tell my wife I love her very much' and he stepped outside the door.

So what happened? Well, Durbin was on the AAA Rochester Red Wings for a couple of years until the Twins DFA'd him last March. The Diamondbacks claimed him off waivers and he pitched the season opening series... but hey, they wanted Micah Owings to come up from AAA and start and Durbin had done a crappy job so he got DFA'd to open a roster spot.

And then... try and remember this... April in Boston and Mike Timlin's got an injury thing so we might need a reliever. Boston claims JD Durbin. Timlin's all, 'I was only kidding!' So within 24 hrs Durbin's career in Boston is ovah.

The Phillies picked him up and that is where he now resides. I knew everyone was wondering about this.

a football crumb

2002 was like, six years ago.

Things I learned from the PawSox 2002 souvenir program:

1. The murals: The walls of the entry ramps at McCoy Stadium are lined with paintings and photos of guys who played in Pawtucket. The original murals were painted directly on the walls, but were destroyed when the park was renovated in 1998. Fortunately, original artist Tayo Heuser had replicated the murals on 4'x8' boards. The 150-lb boards could not be rehung due to size issues, but were stored for future use.

The artwork was finally returned to the towers after being upgraded, lightweighted, weatherproofed and digitalized. I never realized how iconic they were until now. Iconic and at times, creepy.

2. The PawSox have an unofficial historian: one Mrs. Betty Johnson. Johnson has mad archives and you can check it all out by appointment. She is in Pawtucket's HOF.

3. Who dey? Tonayne Brown, Bry Nelson, Mike Kusiewicz, Jay Yennaco, Mike Drumright.

4. 2002 PawSox now deceased: Dernell Stenson, Josh Hancock, Casey Fossum. Stenson's picture would kill you. He looks very sweet and very, very young. Sad.

5. OMG, remember??: Sunny Kim, Angel Santos, Juan Peña, Andy Hazlett, Butch Henry?

6. RHP Derek Hasselhoff? Yes, they're cousins!

7. In 2001, first baseman Juan Diaz hit a record-setting 491-ft home run. It went out, up and over the house-looking thing in center. Into the parking lot! YES!

8. Youkilis' OBP with Lowell? .512


9. Gulf Coast Red Sox Player of the Year was 19-year-old Manny Delcarmen.

I promised to mention Nelson here. He lent me the program. Thanks, Princess. You left your movie tickets stubs inside, though. And now I know you went to the bargain matinee showing of 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'.

It's all about the workplace.

our voices will ring together until the twelfth of never

If they win: I'll have to hear about it for like three weeks.

If they lose: two months.

For that reason only: go, team, go.

casey

I have made almost no progress.

Someone told me about Sean Casey today. Instead of rifling through my mental catalogue of 'One Million Ways Most Baseball Players Are Bad and Will Suck in Boston' and ripping the signing, I said, "Oh my God! I LOVE Sean Casey! I love him! That's great! I hope he plays in Pawtucket! Sean Casey, alright!"

Not that people were like "OMG!!! FIRE THEO!!!"

homeboy

Interview with Jon Van Every. He's got the tools and he's got the talent!

He also looks uncannily like a guy who played on our baseball team a couple of years ago. Chris, congratulations! He was like our best player.

and it makes me wonder. and it makes me sad.

You remember
Junior Spivey
He contracted
Poison ivy!

(also resigned by Boston, yeah!)

Other new kids:
RHP Miguel Acensio
RHP David Thorne
C Steve Torrealba
OF Rich Thompson

Kyle Snyder is coming back... for a while. For a while. You wanna do some blow?

I'm not a loser.

I didn't manage to get any tickets for myself the other day, but that's okay. I only kinda sorta wanted Diamondbacks.

What I'm really looking for are a)opening day b)last series of year or c)monster seats.

I like to attend a game in the last series of the year, but this year it's the Yankees. So I'm screwed?

I know a great guy who loves the Red Sox but as far as I know has never been to Fenway. And I suspect it's not financially possible for him to do that. I would love to get tickets for this guy. And just say, hey, I can't go to this game, but you go and take your wife or brother or one of your kids or something. To me that would be better than going myself. I've been a hundred times and what's a pair of tickets to me?

This year I'm going to Buffalo and Brewer Park and Frontier Field in Rochester. And a Yankees game with my brother, which looks like it'll be an annual excursion.

In a related story, I've settled my cable TV debts and I'm now laying the groundwork for digital cable so that I may get the MLB package. And switch from dial-up to high-speed internet. Yes, I am still on dial-up. Yes, it does suck. No, I can't watch videos online.

Have fun this year everyone! Let's play some ball!

Dans Party 2008

New kids in P'tucket: Dan Kolb and Dan Miceli.

Both these guys are right-handed relievers. They're invited to spring training.

Kolb was an all-star in 2004. Seriously? I mean, I know he was on the Brewers... and the Brewers then are not the Brewers now... and can you believe the highest priced ticket you can possibly get(premium seat v. premium opponant) at Brewer Park is $60? That's like front row on a Saturday night against the Cardinals or the Mets or something. I can't wait!

Miceli was last in the majors in 2006 with Tampa Bay.

I can't wait to see what these guys are going to bring to the table! I mean, a 37-year-old former Devil Ray reliever and a 33-year-old Illinois Stater originally drafted by the TEXAS RANGERS? Oooh, sixth round! He must have at one time had a bright future!

THIS is the hot-stove action I've been missing! Can't wait for poster night so I can shake hands with these superstars!

Butch Hobson splits Nashua

Yeah, Hobson's not going to manage the Nashua Pride any more. He's got a job in the Atlantic League, it seems.

Nashua won the Can-Am League championship in 2007.

2008 Granite State Baseball Dinner: Better Luck Next Time

Oh, yeah, I went to that about a week ago. I got there pretty late due to a)inviting someone with serious time management deficiencies, b)traffic and c)weather.

I started drinking as soon as I got there to ease my guilt and annoyance and as a result, nothing really stands out. I've probably had more fun at wedding receptions. The governor spoke and I wanted to ask the woman next to me if he was doing a good job. Don Orsillo talked a lot. Pesky said a few words.

The one thing that stands out is when the shuttle driver was bringing us back to the car, I mentioned that there was no after-party.

"Oh, you would be SO wrong about that!" the driver said. I pressed for details but he clammed up. Rats!

I'll go back next year with someone else and stay away from the booze.

Benny Agbayani: Concepts, Contributions, and Reflections

Benny "Hawaiian Punch" Agbayani was a Hawaiian outfielder dude who played for Boston after being claimed off Rockies' waivers in August of '02. He was released during the 2003 spring training. He played in 13 games, batting .297 with an OBP of .395. No home runs or anything... just a double. It looks like he was intentionally walked in one game. I wonder which pitcher? I wonder which team was so terrorized by the mighty Benny A. that the manager called for the IBB?

Okay, it was Willis Roberts of the Orioles at Camden Yards. Who? WHAT?! The score was tied at the top of the 14th on September 23rd. God damn, Baseball Reference is fucking awesome.

Agbayani had previously been on the Mets and is probably best remembered for a walk-off home run in the 2000 NLDS. The opposing team was the Giants... wow. And then, the Subway Series! The Mets won only one game, and Agbayani drove in the game-winning run off El Duque. I know a lot of Mets fans are probably reading this, so pour a little out for Benny!

Currently, Agbayani is doing the Japanese thing with the Chiba Lotte Marines. Believe it or not, he's got an autobiography which I am going to buy immediately. It's called "Big League Survivor".

et Aaliyah:
1. Graduated from Hawai'i Pacific University. HPU. Not High Point in NC. Degree in Human Services. He actually took classes in the off-seasons to get his diploma.
2. Got married at home plate 1998 right before the AAA All-Star game in Tidewater (The Norfolk Tides [NYM] used to be the Tidewater Tides).

3. At one time, Kimo Bean Stores sold Benny Bean 100% Hawaiian Coffee (named after Agbayani). Wow, I love coffee!
4. Was paid $100,000 after being released by Boston. It's called termination pay. Don't you think that's a lot of money? Is there any other job where you get a fat bonus for essentially being fired?
5. There's a little internet fuzziness on BA after the Red Sox released him. Many sites have him listed as a Royal with no stats. And then I've read that the Reds picked him up that same spring.
6. Has been interviewed by both Regis Philbin and Howard Stern.
7. "Benny Agbayani, he has some pretty good numbers against Andy Pettitte," [Grady]Little said. I can absolutely hear Grady's voice in that one statement.

Thanks, Ben!

Mike and Javier

Right-handed crap pitcher Mike Burns has been signed to a minor league contract by the Pirates. Ooooooooh. I hope he pitches in Pawtucket and gets shelled. But only if I don't have to watch that happen because honestly, I'd feel bad. I mean, he's someone's son!

Lefty reliever Javier Lopez has been resigned by Boston, which most people think is a bad idea. Lopez has this weird thing where he's more effective against righties. I only include him here because he did a lot of time in AAA. He may return, I don't know. I bet he'd LOVE that!

Also signed to a minor league contract: righty Ben Howard. So in many ways, Mike Burns never left! HA!

Enjoy your MLK experience.

Joe McEwing Retires

As I may have mentioned once or twice, I loved Joe McEwing. Many, many Mets fan hated him, as you might hate a non-productive bench guy whose hustle is the only thing he's hanging onto. But I didn't know him on the Mets. To me he was a real cool veteran guy who worked hard every day when he really didn't have to.

McEwing already has a new job. He'll be the Charlotte Knights hitting coach. So in all likelihood I'll be seeing him at McCoy. That's great!

I know this is a photo of Mientkiewicz, but the guy in the Hawaiian shirt is McEwing.

2008 Pawtucket Red Sox Hot Stove Party

I attended the 2008 PRSHSP this morning after having breakfast at Don's Lunch with my fake daughter. And Elvis.

I like home fries.

Everybody came out for this! The kids, the old baseball ladies, the binder guys, your mom. It's Justin Masterson, really. He just draws you in with his talent, which you can see right under his skin and a little bit in his stomach in the shape of a ready-to-burst alien parasite.

Cast member by cast member:

Bill Wanless! Billy emceed the first Q&A in the home clubhouse (RJ, Masterson, and Van Every). A friend of mine tells me that when he calls you on the phone he almost always says "This is Bill Wanless."

Ron Johnson! I asked RJ about Jeff Bailey and whether he'd ever catch again. I thought I might be the only person in space who cared, but RJ said he'd really been trying to talk him back into it because it's his way into the big leagues. He also said they'd gotten back into it a little at the end of the year. I love the end of the year in the minor leagues when half the team's been called up! Anything goes!

Also, RJ's first question from the audience was from a 109-year-old man who told him he looked like he'd lost weight.

Dusty Brown! Dusty Brown was in the batting cage room. I must admit I did not recognize him right away. He's gotten a nice haircut and looks great. I was dying to ask him if he was ready to kick Kottaras' ASS and be the next Mirabelli or whatever but. You really can't do that. But that's what I hope happens.

No further information is available on D. Brown.

Steve Hyder! Hyder's the PawSox radio guy and he emceed the batting cage table (Bowden, Lowrie, Brown).

Jonathan Van Every! JVE's come to us fm. the Cleveland organization. Since he's been in Buffalo all this time, I asked him hhow cold it is in late April. The answer would be "very cold". Dunn Tire Park is right on the lake. It does not get warm until June. So be prepared. This is what he said.

Van Every said he went to junior college and it was easy. He made sure the kids all knew that. "So kids, remember. Junior College is easy."

Justin Masterson is a superstar, a valuable prospect, and a giant douche. If I ever met him at a party and spent maybe five minutes talking to him, I'd walk away rolling my eyes. You just know he probably took copious notes in his 'Dealing with the Boston Media' seminar at BC, because he was rather slick and phony. Pretty nice to my fake daughter, but seriously. Annoying. I feel bad for his teammates. The fans are going to love him, though.

Masterson claimed to have been a straight A student, except he got a B once. ONCE.

Jed Lowrie really impressed me in Pawtucket last year. It was nice to see him. He was dressed like a turbo-preppie privileged Connecticut boy, even though I think he's from Arizona or something.

You drink and drive, you lose. Jeremy Kapstein showed up later in the day. I'm a very busy woman and I didn't have time to talk to him.

Michael Bowden accompanied on the piano.

Bowls of snacks! Every year each room has a bowl of chips, a bowl of pretzels, and a bowl of cheese puffs (or "Jax"). The bowls never become empty! It's amazing!

The Dunkin' Donuts truck! Free samples!

Okay, see you April 3rd!

dos zurdos

The Boston Red Sox have just signed a pair of lefty pitchers to minor league contracts. They are Jon Switzer and Michael Tejera.

If you'd like more information about these two gents, you can click on the links. I'm not going to get into it until the first week of April and I get to see what's what. Or I suppose I could watch some spring training games, since they've both been invited. It's also possible I've seen either or both of them in Pawtucket with the Indianapolis Indians (Tejeda) or Durham Bulls (Switzer). I could end up hating them both! Can't wait to find out!


Side note: Michael Tejera is from Cuba. That is tremendous. I was looking at pictures of the Hotel Nacional de Cuba and it is stunning. Stupid embargo!

Also, happy birthday to my brother Tom, a lifelong Yankees fan. May he endure a loss during the potential annual trip to NYC. FINALLY.

miscellaneous SeaDoggery

Yes, please! Future Blue Jays shortstop... or pitcher... or spring training invitee of diminished value Sergio Santos watches a plane fly overhead. Please forgive me when I say I took this photo because he's insanely hot. One of a series.


This is a beautiful shot. The dude in the background with the bad Eminem hair is Zach Borowiak. I'm not sure who the player with the stylish man-purse is. Pardon me while I go frame this masterpiece.


This is probably Jeff Corsaletti. See how the baseball kids wear their pants these days? It's going to look so stupid and dated in ten years. Be like Alvarez and slap on the stirrups. Just don't front like you're a DJ.


This is undoubtably infielder Iggy Suarez. What a great photo I took!


A Sea Dog takes first base.


They might be a pitcher. Please don't look at his right foot too closely.

I really effed up here. I cannot identify half the players. Help me out.

If you give a crap about the Portland Sea Dogs

And you live in the Boston Metro Area/New Hampshire/lower Maine? Or if the drive to Manchester, NH is not a huge deal? You can get the Portland Sea Dogs package as presented by the New Hampshire Fisher Cats.

Starting at just $112, you get:

1. all 14 Sea Dogs games
2. ability to add All-Star Game tix
3. ski passes to Pat's Peak (that's a real place?)
4. opportunity to toss first pitch
5. $20 credit at the gift shop
6. ballpark tour

Manchester's about 1.5 hours from me, probably less than an hour from Boston. Furthermore, Manchester's nice! It's got a slight edge over the other AA park I frequent in Connecticut. So that's something to think about.

Scott Atchison is a righty.

He's 31, he's from Texas, and last season he pitched for the Giants. Give it up for reliever Scott "Scatch"* Atchison!

Atchison left San Francisco with a 4.11 ERA and 25 Ks and 10 walks. That calls for the K/BB ratio, but I don't mess with that, son. That's slightly below league average. He was originally drafted by the Mariners in '98. That's the important stuff.

In super-trendy list form, here's the unimportant:
1. Middle name: Barham! I have never heard that name before.
2. Whoops... screeching brakes. Scott Atchison has peaced out of his contract and signed with Japan's Hanshin Tigers.

See you later!


*may not be actual stupid nickname

Birdland and Harry Carey

I'm a loyal Orioles fan? That's what my promo mailer tells me.

On Wednesday January 9th, you sir or ma'am are invited to a Baltimore ticket pre-sale. I'm giving you the heavenly hookup.

Your exclusive password is: birdland.

And what about Harry? Have breakfast in downtown Baltimore at Burke's and you'll find him there.

Starbuck sings "Moonlight Feels Right"

I hear this song at work sometimes, and I always have to pause and listen to the killer xylophone solo. And I wonder, does the guy have xylophone face? In concert, would he toss the mallets in the air like a real rock star?

Except just now I found out that it is not a xylophone, it is a marimba. Whatever, a marimba is pretty much a xylophone, but I now have to reorganize my thoughts about "Moonlight Feels Right".

in through the out door

Adam Bernero is GONE! The Pirates have collected him and now their bullpen is complete. Excelsior!

Boston's signed 2B Joe Thurston, SS Tony Granadillo, and SS Gil Velazquez. I know that I know at least two of these guys.

I also noticed that D'Angelo Jiminez had some action. A signing or something. I was at a spring training game once and on the lineup sheet he was listed as Jiminez D'Angelo. Sort of like Geronimo Gil being listed as Gil Geronimo, except not as cool.

I know you don't run into too many D'Angelos, but come on. That's just sloppy assholism.

More on the three infielders when I finish my shopping/slacking/eating.

Bobby Scales must find an apartment.

Bobby Scales has been signed by the Cubs. Bobby Scales played every position except pitcher/catcher last year. He was great and could have won team MVP if not for Brandon Moss. He will be missed. By me. And maybe Mike Tamburro.

Scales led the team in triples with nine.

Kevin Cash faked me out and is returning to Bostucket. I was all for getting rid of Mirabelli but Dougie did not exactly get paid last year. So... looks like I may end up getting a double shot of Led Zeppelin at McCoy, since both Cash and Bailey used them for at-bat songs.

But, yeah, let's kill Doug Mirabelli.