8.4.2013 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons - A Superhero Named Tony

Pawtucket WINS! 8-1. This is in spite of dynamic, protein-enriched pitching by former Sock Justin Germano and his Amazing Regenerating Five-O-Clock Shadow. Or maybe enormous pitcher Anthony Ranaudo did a good job. Just look at his terrible eyebrows.

Ranaudo pitched six scoreless innings in his Triple-A debut. He gave up four hits, all crappy little singles, and struck out five. He walked, um, nobody, so get back in position, assholes!

Starter for the Bisons was Germano. DH Tony Thomas hit an RBI single in the second to put the Pawtuckets up 1-0. Germano didn't really start falling apart until the fifth inning, though. Ronald Bermudez led off with a single, and I still don't understand how Ronnie B fits into this organization. Is he charming? Is he blackmailing someone? He's been around since '06 and his earliest time in Rhode Island was 2011. Oh my god, am I in love with Ronald Bermudez?

Bermudez led off the fifth inning with a single. Tony Thomas, who I love for real and I wish he was my son, followed with a double. And then Jeremy Hazelbaker hit an RBI single and stole second. In spite of that production, I do not care for Hazelbaker. Hate him and I can't explain it.

So 2-0 and Jonathan Diaz hit an RBI single. And then so does Xander Bogaerts. And then so didn't Will Middlebrooks. No, sorry, Middlebrooks popped up to the infield. But he looked good doing it! It was catcher Dan Butler who dealt the final fifth-inning blow. And if you think my using the word "blow" in a sentence about Dan Butler is a coincidence, then you never really knew me at all.

5-0 Red Sox! And now the seventh inning with Buffalo's Bobby Korecky pitching. You may remember him from such films as "Red Wings, Redder Blood" and "Viva Reno". With one out, Bogaerts doubles to left. And then Alex Hassan batted him in. Alex Hassan wants to have me killed probably, so I'll just say wasn't that nice? 6-0.

Buffalo scored a run off Brock Huntzinger in the eighth inning. It was left fielder Kevin Pillar who hit an RBI single. "Kevin Pillar" is the name Millar uses at strip clubs when he pretends to be the CEO of a Japanese conglomerate.

Ninth inning, Jeremy Jeffress pitching for the Bisons. Dan Butler whips it out again, batting in two more runs. Chris Carpenter closed out the ninth, one two three. Thanks!

two things:
1. Tony Thomas is back! I thought he was gone forever! Now we gotta get Alex Valdez and Matt Spring back.

2. Everybody on the PawSox got a hit. Dan Butler came up huge, with three RBI.

3. Anthony Ranaudo threw 86 pitches, 56 for strikes. Jesus.

4. Middlebrooks made two errors. Man, is he tall!

5. "For a guy who seemed to be fading late in the season (albeit with a reasonable excuse), making an opposing Triple-A team look this powerless in his first game at the highest minor league level is an entirely welcome shock." - Ben Buchanan, Over the Monster. Cool story, Puke-anan. (Sorry.)

6. Clint Hulsey gets into Ranaudo's pitching in a way that I don't really understand because I'm on my period and I'm bloated and I need chocolate and shoe shopping.

7. "Ranaudo is an imposing presence on the mound. His delivery is a bit odd, slow and meandering to start before everything speeds up toward the end. It looks odd and uncomfortable and may or may not have a little bit to do with the two arm injuries he’s had over the past few years and the problems he’s had with control in the past. One thing I positively love about Ranaudo’s delivery is his arm angle. It’s a nearly straight over the top offering that allows Ranaudo to take full advantage of his frame and create more downhill plane on his pitches than I’ve seen out of any other prospect this year." - Eric Longenhagen has this blog you should read.

8. Anthony Ranaudo is clean. Real clean, like my conscience. "I guess the one thing that I do before every game is I always take a shower like 45 minutes before the game. People are like “how do you take a shower right before a game if you’re just going to go out there and sweat?” I just always take a shower before the game. It kind of mentally, the shower just puts me in the zone. Everything that’s going on outside the field and everything, just kind of washes away and now it’s focus time."

9. "Washes away." Very funny, Freshie.

TONIGHT. Allen Webster. Webster has a baby face and an air of innocence and vulnerability, but do not be fooled. I wouldn't fuck with that kid. He opposes Buffalo's Chien-Ming Wang. Hmm, must be some other Chien-Ming Wang who is a pitcher. Can't be the former Yankee.

Good night.

Antique Postcards in Ames, Iowa.

Well, I am going to the game tonight and maybe I will be inspired to write something.

Don't get mad, but my presence there will cause the PawSox to lose.

Mark Prior, Barry Bonds, Keith Foulke

Barry Bonds dreamed about me last night. He was wearing a Giants uniform and he was at the All-Star Game and I asked him about the subtle differences between the national and American Leagues. And he smiled in his sleep...

Keith Foulke still hangs out in Boston and roots for the Red Sox.

Mark Prior is currently in the Reds organization (AAA Louisville).

I'd like to explain my re-emergence in two ways... First, with a Cocksparrer song.

6.25.13 Pawtucket Red Sox v Toledo Mud Hens - Alex Hassan, Mud Hens Assassin

Pawtucket wins, 16-3. Brandon Workman swipes a W.

Workman pitched six innings, gave up two runs on seven hits. Five K's. 92 pitches. And a tall glass of lemonade because it's hot.

Toledo starter was Shawn Hill, who gave up seven runs. Reliever Justin Souza pitched one inning and also gave up seven runs. Hard day's night for the Mud Hens.

Alex Hassan went 4-5. Jackie Bradley Jr, Xander Bogaerts, and Jonathan Diaz each hit home runs. Every batter on the Red Sox got a hit. Nobody tripled, so sucks to your auntie.

This game was fairly well attended, about 7,800 people. That time of year.

Max Guyll was the home plate umpire.

Jose De La Torre and Ryan Rowland-Smith also pitched.

See you around, maybe tomorrow? I'm going to the game if it doesn't piss rain all over everything.

6.11.2013 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Syracuse Chiefs - Something Nice About Syracuse

Chiefs win, 4-3. Win goes to Yunesky Maya and although the Chiefs are the Blue Jays starting again this year, I feel like Maya was on the Chiefs last season when they were the Nationals. Am I crazy?

Yes, I am obviously fucking nuts, because the Bisons are the Blue Jays and the Chiefs are still the Nationals. Please bear with.

Starting pitcher for the Pawtucket Yankees was Steven Wright, the Knucklehead Kid. Ball, head, whatev. Wright pitched six innings and the Chiefs were all, OH HI THERE HANGER and got seven hits that included a pair of homers. The hits led to all four Syracuse runs, meaning the Red Sox relief corps did a smashing job. So thanks for this.

Yunesky Maya started for Syracuse. I think I might have mentioned that before.  Maya pitched five innings, then a mob of relievers came trampling in. Christian Garcia, Tanner Roark, Tyler Robertson, Michael Broadway. You mean like Lance Broadway? And wasn't there another Broadway?

First inning, Chiefs scored a run on a sac fly. Third inning, same thing. Fourth inning, Mike Costanzo (who has always had a for-real dickface) and Zach Walters hit back-to-back home runs to RF. 4-0 Chiefs!

In the fifth inning, Pawtucket second baseman and bastion of crushworthiness Justin Henry hit a solo home run. Do you remember how Bill Mueller was kind of... I mean, I don't mean to belittle or demean Bill Mueller, who was legit, but there was something... He was a basket of kittens at third base, is what I mean. And so goes Justin Henry.

Eighth inning, Jackie Bradley hit an RBI double. Jackie Bradley could also be considered a cutie-pie... CAN SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME?!

Bryce Brentz hit a solo home run in the ninth. Brentz is a little too square-jawed to be considered adorable. I'm sure he'd be wounded if he found out I said that.

This game was two hours and 22 minutes long and played in front of 8,218 fans. Right. There was a two hour, twenty minute rain delay and more than eight thousand people were there. In Syracuse. Also, I attend church most Sundays! I'll tell you I'm an orphan after you meet my family!

two things:
1. "Roark has a sting of 24.2 straight innings of pitching without yielding an earned run." - Yes, Ben Meyers, those innings certainly do sting.

2. Jackie Bradley Jr played center and batted leadoff. Lavarnway - catcher, batted third. Who else do you assholes like? Alex Wilson? Wilson pitched a scoreless inning.

3. "Wright, the Pawtucket knuckleballer with one career appearance in the major leagues, struggled with control from the opening inning. His first pitch of the night plunked Chiefs' leadoff hitter Eury Perez on the left elbow, and catcher Ryan Lavarnway made his first trip to the mound one batter latter." - I guess Michael Cohen can't spell either. This game story is great, though, and it was Education Day so the fan count was probably accurate. Sorry I was such a jerk about it. I'll settle in with some tea and scripture.

4. Also, cool picture of the grounds crew who likely worked their fannies off during this wet, wet series.

By the way, I'm sure Mike Costanzo is a lovely guy. Like Santa Claus.

No baseball today, which is totally cool because everyone wants to watch hockey anyway. Thursday night is Legends Night at McCoy, featuring Father Bernie Carbo and Bill Lee. I think Rubby De La Rosa is going to pitch v the Bisons and the kissable Ricky Romero.

And... I need to be a little candid for a second and reveal that although I am recovering from surgery and was sick and all of that, the reason I haven't been around is because I have almost completely lost interest in this PawSox stuff. Which is really too bad, because damn I'm good. But really, I didn't attend the welcome back lunch or PawSox bowling or blah blah blah... And this season's team is one I can really root for!

My IronPigs trip's coming soon and I hope my pleasure and interest will be restored. Not ready to hang it up yet, you guys.

All my love...

6.1.13 Pawtucket Red Sox v Syracuse Chiefs - Brandon and Brock

Pawtucket wins, 5-3. And 12,691 fans saw it go down. Fireworks. Allen Webster gets it, has a 5-0 record so far. I only mentioned that in case Brandon Crawford is reading.

Webster pitched 6 1/3 innings, gave up two runs on four hits. Webster gave up three bases on balls, which seems high for him. Although he's not De La Rosa, whose overall walks are the lowest of all the Pawtucket starters. Or Chris Hernandez, who has less walks through nine innings than anybody. Who cares though, the team won.

Webster struck out six Chiefs, so that was good if you like the K.

Starter for Syracuse was Ryan Tatusko. Tatusko pitched seven innings and was up to 110 pitches. He gave up four runs, three earned. Not a bad start but Pawtucket was just a little bit better.

The Chiefs scored first, when Will Rhymes hit an RBI double in the first. Rhymes really gets around, eh? Then top of the fourth, left fielder Corey Brown hit a solo home run to give Syracuse the 2-0 lead. Come on, Pawtucket.

The Red Sox tied the game up in the fifth, with a little help from Brock Holt's RBI double and something Dan Butler did, productive out blah blah blah. And then Pawtucket scored a run in the sixth, one in the seventh, and one in the eighth. Brandon Snyder got some hits, Holt did stuff, it was teamwork. Good team this year. I think everyone's really getting along.

Pedro Beato came in and got the save. Alex Wilson also pitched. Alex Wilson is the answer to Michael Bowden: People talk about talent and potential but there really isn't anything there. By the way, Bowden's in the Cubs org and just got sent to Iowa to do whatever. But he was in the Cubs bullpen doing his thing.

two things:
1. Brandon Snyder went 3-4 with a double. Holt got a couple of hits.

2. Ronald Bermudez started in center but left the game in the first inning. What happened? Bermudez and Hazelbaker collided, which I deduced from the game recap. What I want to know is who was at fault.

3. Second baseman Anthony Rendon is a BFD. Last night was his first game in triple-A and the Washington Nationals just love him! "I think he will be a quick-to-the-big-leagues guy as far as the normal course of a drafted player, but again, we're not going to put any stipulations on him, any timetables or anything like that, but suffice it to say we feel really good about this player, and it's a guy that we've thought about a lot, it's a guy that we've had at or near the top of our board for a long, long time, and we feel good about selecting him." - GM Mike Rizzo. Lifted from Federal Baseball.So... Is that really a sentence? COMMA MUCH?!

4. Rendon just had his wisdom teeth out. Awww.

5. Jason from Half Street Heart Attack talks about Rendon's time at Rice U. He wasn't there to learn, he just wanted to get drunk and major in business.

6. "[Holt] and Rubby have been the two guys for me who have really developed in front of our eyes,” PawSox manager Gary DiSarcina said, "So we went shopping for training bras at Ann & Hope."

TONIGHT. Or this afternoon. Rubby De La Rosa v Matt Torra... Don't do it, Jen... Just stop... You're not clever or original... TORRA! TORRA! TORRA! AAAAAHHHHGGHHHHHH Sorry. I couldn't help myself. And I try so hard not to be hacky like those fucking NESN suckas.

I love you guys.

I'd like to explain my absence in two ways: First, in rap form.

Ill willin' tigre, gettin yellow ill villain
nothin too thick and nothin too fillin

sicka than a squirrel, my pain is plural
starvin in the city while you suckas be rural

soy la mera mera, pass da aloe vera
stickin needles in my arms, like nurse, whatsa matta?

puke splatter, mad fatter, sicker from liquor
yo, pizza man, why you fuckin with my ticker?


---

I might get perforated soon. Surgically. I'LL BE OKAY.

5.15.13 Pawtucket loses to Gwinnett and we all learn a little something about truth.

I slept really late and then I had to finish watching SwimFan because... It was on...

Braves win 6-4. Kameron Loe gets the win. Shoot, I forgot he existed. Was he on the Orioles? He's tall, if you're going to reduce his identity to his height, but he also likes hip hop and NPR.

Steven Wright started, knuckleball, innings, four walks.

Tim Corcoran, Gwinnett hottie, probably a real person. Pitched 5 2/3, seven hits, four runs.

The PawSox scored four runs in the first inning, and then died on my doorstep. Like that movie where the little kids make a French pet cemetery during the war? And the little girl crying, "Michel, Michel!" at the end and it was like SHANE COME BACK and I totally cried.

The Braves pretty much just got to work and started scoring runs and all Pawtucket could do was watch the horror unfold. Ernesto Mejia went HAM. Wasn't he in the Yankees org? Why can't I remember anything? Know who else I forgot about? Luis Exposito. I saw his name somewhere and I was all... Oh yeah... Exposito, the catcher.

1. Kameron Loe was never on the Orioles.

2. Ernesto Mejia has been with the Braves forever, and would never touch the Yankees because they're dirt.

Let's hear it for the umpires: Will Little, David Soucy, and Max Guyll.

Little Jon Diaz hit a home run, his first of the year and possibly his only HR of the year. There's video of it, according to Ryan Rowland-Smith. I guess it's notable because the bullpen does some kind of dance? Whenever baseball breaks out of its rigid, outdated, hoary tradition, it's either delightful or fucking embarrassing.

@milb: Check out Jonathan Diaz's home run, paying particular attention to the reaction in the @pawsox bullpenatmilb.com/13ni7yyYes!!!
— Ryan Rowland-Smith (@hyphen18) May 16, 2013

I'm outta here. Season/series finale tonight and it's going to be emotionally magnificent.

5.14.13 Heyward, Vanessa, and Our Pastor

Pawtucket WINS! 5-3. I was there, Jason Heyward was there, Vee was there, Ben Crockett, Fleece Vest, Paws and Sox, and maybe 30 other people. It got pretty cold. And yet there was some weird heat between the teams. I felt a brawl fomenting.

Allen Webster started, was good not great, pitched five innings and gave up a solo home run to left fielder Brandon Boggs. He was up to 92 pitches so it was time for him to go. Pedro Beato pitched a bunch, three innings. Beato gave up three runs. I should mention that me and Beato are kind of together now, because I have attended a few games where he's pitched.

Starter for the Gwinnett Braves was a lefty, Sean Gilmartin, who says crap like "I cannot wait for the great incite Tim McCarver has to offer tonight....#notreally". Gilmartin pitched four innings and was charged with three runs. It wasn't really that interesting.

Justin Henry is terrific. He led off the first inning with a solid double down the first base line. He then stole third and made it home on a sac fly by Drew Sutton. Seriously, Drew Sutton has practically doubled in size. He is not the same guy who was on the PawSox in 2011. What the hell. 1-0 Pawtucket.

Second inning, first baseman Brandon Snyder led off with a single. Gilmartin then walked catcher Dan Butler and struck out Hazelbaker. Two men on for the very, very light-hitting Jonathan Diaz, who pulled a double out of his ass that scored Snyder. Butler later crossed the plate when Brock Holt grounded out. 3-0 Red Sox.

The Braves picked up their first run in the fourth inning, which was the Boggs HR. Roman Colon came in to pitch the fifth inning for Gwinnett. After Justin Henry singled, Jose Iglesias sac bunted him over so Bryce Brentz could bat him in. So easy. Like suffocating yourself with a dry-cleaning bag. 4-1.

The Braves scored a pair of runs in the seventh inning, with help from the rehabbing Jason Heyward. Heyward's a big star, yet the crowd at McCoy Stadium did not seem to recognize this, the ungrateful whores. Braves reliever Juan Cedeno took over for the bottom of the seventh and allowed some walks and singles that led to Pawtucket's fifth run.

Is Anthony Carter the closer? Maybe. Carter pitched the ninth inning and got the save with a little help from a 6-4-3. FIN.

pastor nicky, will today's sermon be available as a podcast?
1. Vanessa won the Tweet Your Seat thing! Congratulations! So glad we got together to plan a baby shower and talk about opening day/spring training/Kevin Millar/lager v. IPA/Jeff Levering/Washington DC/books and cookies.

2. Allen Webster hit the rather tall Ernesto Mejia with a pitch. Pedro Beato hit Italian catcher Matt Pagnozzi with a pitch. The umpire issued a warning to Beato, Gary DiSarcina feigned outrage. That's what happened, right?

3. Captain Obvious Jose Iglesias comes out to bat, "Hustlin" by Rick Ross plays. Every Day I'm Hustling. Okay, thanks Jose, we get it. You're trying really hard now.

4. Mark Hamilton did not play, had a thing on his wrist.

TONIGHT! Steven Wright v Tom Corcoran. Tim Corcoran, sorry. Who am I thinking of? Am I thinking of a cold soup, because that's consomme.

I love you.

5.13.13 Red Sox @ Knights - Zach Stewart Will Make You Eat It

Yuck! Terry Doyle loses, 6-1. Everyone else performed fairly well. Combination of Doyle not pitching well and Zach Stewart pitching a little... too well.

Starter for Pawtucket was Franklin Morales, Boston rehabber. Morales has been on the PawSox before, back in 2011 for six games. But there's no one left from that team, so he has to make new friends all over again. Morales pitched three innings and gave up a home run to the catcher, Josh Phegley.

You know Zach Stewart? Easy going? Stewart pitched seven innings, gave up one run on five hits, and struck out seven. There were two walks doled out while he was pitching, but they happened organically and I can't say whether Stewart overballed some hitters. I wasn't there. I'm not an expert. The walks are in his column, but do we know who put them there? Who's the official scorer? There were 1,453 people in attendance, but was anyone really paying attention? Ask the Pope, he knows everything!

The Red Sox scored their only run in the first inning. Bryce Brentz hit an RBI single, not foreseeing the desolation of the remaining innings. Or maybe he did. Maybe he said, "There it is. Our only run."

Doyle's brother had a crazy fourth inning, didn't he? Got the first out. Gave up a single, threw a wild pitch. Walked Jordan Danks. Then square-jawed American catcher Josh Phegley doubled. Was Doyle rattled? He faced Lars Anderson and hit him with a pitch. And then Seth Loman was next and he doubled. Still just one out. Sac fly. Wild pitch. Single. Double. Carlos Sanchez struck out looking with delicious Knight meat dangling on the bases. Mmmm... Blake Tekotte. Short and stout.

And then no one scored for the rest of the game! Ryan Rowland-Smith pitched for three innings, was probably daydreaming the whole time about kangaroo meat and coral reefs. New kid Chris Martin pitched ninth like ringing a bell. Daniel Moskos and Jeff Gray came out of the bullpen after Stewart hit the showers. The game was like two hours and twenty minutes long. Not very profitable for the org.

two things:
1. How the fuck did I miss this yesterday? "The Knights had just six hits off a trio of PawSox hurlers, but it was John’s younger brother Jordan who provided a third of them plus drove in three of the team’s six runs. He has eight on the season to go with a .322 average." Ted Fleming, I think I love you.

2. Brandon Snyder had an off night. He struck out four times. I still love him.

3. Jesus Christ. The Charlotte Knights have such horseshit coverage. I have nothing to link to! MAKES ME SO ANGRY AND YET I SHOULD LEARN NOT TO RELY ON THE CRUTCH OF LINKS.

Tonight! Jason Heyward. I'll be there! Gwinnett Braves!!

5.12.13 Pawtucket @ Fort Mill, NC - Danks for the Memories?

Sorry. That was terrible. Pawtucket's winning streak ends at last, with the Knights of Charlotte winning 6-4. Big 'W' for John Danks.

Alfredo Aceves got the start for Pawtucket. He pitched five innings and gave up five runs. Aceves left the mound having thrown 97 pitches and with his team down 5-3. Boo hoo. DLiPB.

John Danks. Son. Father. Husband. Baseball player. Deep thinker. Lover of animals. Texan. Danks pitched six innings and gave up three runs on seven hits. Only two runs were earned, because OH MY GOD BRANDON SHORT DO WE HAVE TO START CALLING YOU 'CLANK'? Danks struck out five and he makes really good omelets. And he's sooooo handsome and athletic.

Pawtucket was looking pretty fly in the first inning. Justin Henry led off with a single, advanced to second on an error and then third on a sac bunt, thankyouverymuch Gary DiSarcina. And then Brandon Snyder and Mark Hamilton hit back-to-back singles that scored Henry. Dan Butler followed that little flurry up with a ground ball double to left that scored Snyder. And it was 2-0 PawSox for Aceves.

But everything's good 'til it turns bad. Aceves walked the first two batters he faced. And then center fielder Jordan Danks hit a two-run single to tie the game.

Bottom of the fourth, Charlotte scored their third run when first baseman Seth Loman hit a solo home run to right center. Top of the fifth, Justin Henry doubled and then later scored on an error.

Bottom of the fifth, Knights single double single, two runs. I'll spare you the details.

Ninth inning, Pawtucket down 6-3. Last clear chance. Ramon Troncoso pitching. Second baseman Jonathan Diaz leads off with a single. Then Ryan Dent singled. YEAH! Okay, here we go! Something's happening! Hazelbaker grounded into a force and got himself to first base, but Dent was out at second. Hazelbaker decided to grab second base, and the catcher, Bryan Anderson, made a throwing error that allowed Diaz to score.

But then Justin Henry and Iglesias grounded out to extinguish that little spark. Troncoso gets the save. It hurts when it don't last.

Fuck you. Bunt.
1.  Chris Carpenter pitched 2 2/3 innings and gave up zero hits.

2. Jim Margalus: "Danks got 11 swings and misses, and if their pitch identification is accurate, it sounded like he was using his curve more often." This and other game miscellany from South Side Sox.

3. Oh, hey. Look. It's Tony Pena and Lars Anderson.

It's gotten more and more difficult to find good links regarding the games. Maybe it's just the regional coverage? The Bisons always had decent stories, blogs. The Knights were second to last in attendance last year, kind of near the bottom so far this year. I should write about their new ballpark.

Tonight! Rehabbing Franklin Morales will pitch like the first inning and then Doyle's brother. Zach Stewart opposes. Oh, hey. Look. It's Zach Stewart.

Mom, I finished the puzzle...

5.10.13 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Charlotte Knights - Chris Hernandez Has a Ball

Hernandez WINS! 4-0. Little Red Machine keeps rolling in this exquisitely symmetrical game.

Starter for the Pawtucket Red Sox was Rubby De La Rosa. De La Rosa pitched four innings, gave up one hit. Got seven strikeouts. Chris Hernandez pitched the remaining five innings and it was pretty killer. He only gave up one hit and got the well-deserved win.

Former Norfolk Tides guy Jason Berken started for the Charlotte Knights, who are the White Sox. I told you that because I doubt you remembered. Evidently, one day I was super bored and decided to do some pretty intense research on Berken, which you can read here. Berken pitched six innings and gave up all the runs. Old shoes Donnie Veal and David Purcey finished the game off, my god with those two guys. I always liked Purcey and I thought his career would be more... Memorable. And Donnie Veal! I am shocked to discover that he's only 28. Am I the only one aging anymore?

Pawtucket scored their first run in the fourth inning. Mark Hamilton hit a solo home run. So solid. I like this guy. Fifth inning, Drew Sutton and Brock Holt hit back-to-back singles to get things started. A sac bunt and a sac fly scored Sutton, and then center fielder Justin Henry hit a line drive double to center to score Holty.

Hamilton hit another home run in the sixth for Pawtucket's fourth run. I'll just leave this here...

Gary DiSarcina is doing some unprecedented minor league shit this season and I loooooove it! He made some defensive changes in the ninth, because he loves baseball with his real, big beating heart. Thank you for caring, Gary D.

So that's the game in a nutshell. Wish I could have been there, but I'll just wait until they get their new ballpark.

two things:
1. Mike McDade is on the Knights now. Just saw him with the Clippers. I have a feeling this won't be his last IL team, which is not a burn because I happen to like him very much.

2. "I've got some hobbies, but really can’t do too much of them out here. I used to work on my truck a lot back at home and that’s something I can’t do around here." - What? Why not? Why can't you work on your truck, Hernandez? I DON'T UNDERSTAND?!

3. Rick Swanson talks about Hernandez and college baseball in general: "If you asked Hernandez, don’t you think he would have rather been the leading pitcher for the 15th ranked team in the country than pitching for a last place team in the Carolina League?" Good point, I'll ask him that next time I see him at the laundromat.

4. Bryce Brentz and Brock Holt got two hits apiece.

This afternoon! More Charlotte Knights. Alfredo Aceves v John Danks who's going to play with his brother Jordan and this will make Mom so happy. Also they are giving away a washer and dryer at the game today, because it's Mother's Day and mothers love household appliances! I've seen those detergent commercials and I know how happy and proud women are when their laundry is fresh and clean!

And... Recently I scoffed at the idea of Allen Webster being called up. Well, once again I am embarrassed about how dumb I can be. I must try harder.

I love you, Mom.

5.9.13 Red Sox @ Braves - No One Slept at All

Pawtucket wins 14-9 in a game that started a little too early for a pro athlete. And yet, it was a reasonable three hours and fifteen minutes long. I've been to 4-3 games that lasted that long, so not too shabby.

There, I said something good about the game.

Starter for Pawtucket was Steven Wright. Wright wound up getting the win. He wasn't terrible, but... Gwinnett got six hits, four runs off him. Wright pitched five innings.

Enormous righty Roman Colon started for the Braves. Colon lasted three innings, gave up five runs, got the loss. And then there were the relievers, who also underperformed. Except some righty named Andrew Russell, who pitched two scoreless innings. Classic Andrew Russell!

Runs... We got some. Pawtucket scored their initial run in the first inning. Mark Hamilton hit a sac fly that scored Jose Iglesias. In the second inning, catcher Dan Butler hit a double with one out. And then Ron Bermudez singled and Jeremy Hazelbaker doubled. Hazelbaker then stole third and scored on an error by the pitcher. HAZELBAKER MORE LIKE HAZELBA-SESTEALER. 4-0 'tucket.

The Braves picked up two runs in the bottom of the second when catcher Matt Kennelly hit a two-run homer. But in the third inning, first baseman Mark Hamilton hit a solo home run to make it 5-2.

New pitcher for Gwinnett in the fourth inning and the PawSox just loved him! His name was Cole McCurry, and he's a lefty from Long Island!

No, of course not. No one named "Cole" lives north of DC. Fact. Anyway, Ronald Bermudez was the first to face him and he singled, just to make a jerk of me. Mister Small Ball Hazelbaker sac bunted Bermudez over for Jonathan Diaz, who walked because he does not hit.

HOLD UP!!!! Go back a little! This happened in the third inning: Wright walked Tyler Pastornicky, who then made it to third on a passed ball and a groundout. He then hit left fielder Alden Carrithers with a pitch. Terdoslavich reached on a fielder's choice, which erased Pastornicky. And then! Brandon Boggs turned around to bat righty, was hit by pitch. Then Todd Cunningham ALSO switched to batting right-handed. What the hell? And the inning was resolved by Alden Carrithers being out at home, probably trying to steal. So that was weird.

Okay, back to McCurry. Diaz walked, Iglesias singled, Lavarnway doubled, Hamilton doubled, Bryce Brentz singled, Brandon Snyder doubled. 10-2 Red Sox.

Gwinnett scored a run in the bottom of the fourth, bless their hearts. And then again in the bottom of the fifth. Brandon Snyder hit a two-run homer in the sixth, though, widening the gulf between the two teams. Chris Carpenter pitched the bottom of the sixth, gave up four runs. Doesn't surprise me, Carpenter's been all over the place since the get-go. He has proven to both unreliable and a bad father. And also fat.

Ninth inning and you remember Wirfin Obispo. So much face time for that guy! Bryce Brentz led the inning off and homered. Bryce Brentz is so strong. And then a walk and a couple of singles later... 14-8.

Ryan Rowland-Smith closed the game out, gave up an RBI double to the catcher again. Kennelly. And there's now a guy on the PawSox named Nick Natoli who played second base. Yeah, sure, "Nick Natoli." WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHO YOU REALLY ARE AS I RIP OFF YOUR FAKE MUSTACHE, JEFF NATALE?!

louder than they:
1. This game started at 10:30. I'm sure no one got more than about 4-5 hours of sleep, not that I'm excusing such slop. But I am familiar with that saltwater swimming pool effect when you're outside in warm weather and you haven't slept and everything is soft and slow and the crowd noises are like a lullaby you can barely hear because you're floating on your back with your ears just below the surface of the water.

2. I guess Jose Iglesias was a bad boy and got disciplined. Not running out grounders and such. I have to say I am very disappointed with this young man. They must be super pissed at him, because usually they create some fake ailment when a player gets benched.

3. Nick Natoli is another Salem guy. Jeff Natale could not be reached for comment.

4. Jason Heyward played in this game, which I'm sure he was thrilled about. I would have loved to been a fly on the wall when they told him what time the game started. Also, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when they had the post-game spread. So I could fly over to the food and spit on it and rub my legs all over it and eat it. Heyward was hitless, struck out three times.

Work's important, have to cut this short.

I love you.

5.8.13 Pawtucket @ Gwinnett - Matty Johnson Wears a PawSox Uniform

I'm sorry I wasn't around yesterday. I sincerely feel bad. I had every intention... Something happened where I woke up in a lot of pain and so I decided to just rest as much as possible. All better now. Maybe as an apologetic gesture I'll reveal some secret in the comments.

I'm interested in finding out who Matty Johnson is. In fact, I have a few questions about some of these people. Alden Carrithers? Wirfin?! Joey Terdoslavich? Yohan Flande? Okay, I know Flande.

Pawtucket wins, 4-1. Everybody on the Braves got a chance to pitch!

Starter for Pawtucket was Doyle's brother. Doyle pitched six innings, teetered on the edge of 100 tosses, gave up four hits and no runs. He walked two and struck out five. He walks the loneliest mile. He smiles without any style.

Yohan Flande is a lefty pitcher, not a figure skater or a famous French scientist. Flande had a rough go of it, working for five innings and giving up eight hits. He threw 106 pitches, got seven strikeouts, was all sweaty and musky and miserable in the swampy Georgia heat. Pawtucket probably could have scored more than four runs off him, like, I'm looking at you Lavarnway, you hitless freak.

The Red Sox scored their first run in the first inning. Mark Hamilton hit an RBI single. Alright, Hamilton!

In the fourth inning, Ronald Bermudez hit a ground ball double to left with one out. Okay, can we talk about this? Ronald Bermudez? I've seen better players come and go, but Ronald Bermudez is a slab of granite that glaciers cannot wear down. Okay, I'm done. Bermudez scored after a balk and an error got him across the plate. 2-0.

Fifth inning. Mark Hamilton led off with a double. Bryce Brentz struck out, and then Flande intentionally walked Brandon Snyder for a real WTF moment. But I kind of get what he was going for. Jeremy Hazelbaker batted next and grounded into a force. Runners at the corners until Hazelbaker stole second base. Then Bermudez hit a two-run single. Zany!

Mighty Viking reliever Oscar Villareal gave up a run to the Braves in the seventh. Left fielder Alden Carrithers figured prominently.

Anthony Carter got the save. Yeah, okay Carter. You're hot shit. I guess he spends as much time working on his pitching as he does looking in a mirror. BOOM! Roasted.

two things:
1. Luis Ayala, Dusty Hughes, Wirfin Obispo, and Cory Rasmus also pitched for Gwinnett.

2. Don Borman, alright! "First up we got to take care of business down in Georgia tonight and then in Charlotte over the weekend before we come home,” said Wanless." This appears to be the only PawSox post in the history of the RI NPR website. So cute they're getting after it. They should totally let me do it!

3.  Recently I confessed to liking Rick Medeiros' blog quite a bit. Here he writes about Boston Strong night in his own inimitable fashion. Holy hell, Rodney Harrison can get it.

4. Matty Johnson comes from Single-A Salem. All of those reminds me how unqualified I am to write about baseball. I am the Michael Scott of baseball blogging. YET I CANNOT BE STOPPED. I am relentless. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable.

TONIGHT! Well... Today's game is over already. I keep weird hours, what can I say? Steven Wright v the ancient Roman Colon. Heard the Braves got clobbered, but enough about that.

TONIGHT! Blackstone Valley Media Club meeting in Pawtucket. There will be snacks.

5.6.13 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Gwinnett Braves - Terd

Pawtucket wins, 5-1. Chris Hernandez pitched four innings of relief and got the win for the Red Sox.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Rubby De La Rosa. De La Rosa had a good outing: Four scoreless innings, three hits, six K's.

Starter for the Gwinnett Braves was Omar Poveda. Poveda gave up three runs on seven hits through six innings.

The PawSox scored their first two runs in the first inning. Mark Hamilton hit a two-run homer. They scored a third run in the fourth by way of an RBI single by Brock Holt. Braves reliever Wirfin Obispo pitched the seventh inning, gave up the last two runs when Pawtucket hit a few singles and Brock Holt scored on a wild pitch.

Gwinnett scored their only run in the fifth, when left fielder Jordan Parraz hit a solo home run off Hernandez.

Anthony Carter pitched the ninth inning.

two things:
1. Ninth loss in a row for the Braves.

TONIGHT! It's Boston Strong night at the Braves ballpark. Jason Varitek, Rodney Harrison, Matt Ryan, and Dee Brown will be there. Alfredo Aceves starts for Pawtucket, Daniel Rodriguez for the Braves.

5.5.13 Durham Bulls Defeat Pawtucket Red Sox 2-1, and Now I Will Never Forget Jake Odorizzi.

Steven Wright pitched two innings and gets the loss. Graham Godfrey rolled up on his motorcycle after that and pitched five innings, so thanks for this.

The Bulls scored one run in the first, one in the second, and Pawtucket nabbed their one and only in the ninth inning. It was walk walk sac bunt, sac fly, so yeah, no-hitter. More here from Watching Durham Bulls Baseball.

Odorizzi pitched seven innings, struck out three and walked four. He was relieved by such noted pitchers as FRANK! De Los Santos and Kirby "Kirbs" Yates and Jeff  "Frenchy" Beliveau. Beliveau lives here in Johnston, RI, and is still not as famous as Pauly D. Do you know how small Johnston is?

It's small.

Since we're talking about The Kid, let's talk about The Kid. No, this is not 2003 and we are not talking about Bronson Arroyo before he thought it was a good idea to pick up a guitar in public.

Jake Odorizzi:
1. "Cast aside the tired, lower-tiered starters with their low-5.00 ERA and grab yourself something young; something fresh and exciting.  Get yourself some Jake Odorizzi." - Howard Bender. No, seriously, it's a good article.

2. “Everything was going my way,’’ Odorizzi said from the Providence, R.I., airport. “The defense was good behind me. It seemed everything was hit right at someone. Just kind of one of those days where everything goes your way." Especially helpful was a ninth-inning catch at the wall by CF Rich Thompson. "That was that play you see in every no-hitter," Odorizzi said. - Marc Topkin. THERE'S NO AIRPORT IN PROVIDENCE! THE CINCINNATI AIRPORT IS IN KENTUCKY! And since when do players comment from the airport? What is going on here?

3. Scott Grauer craps all over everything, refers to no-hitter as an "eight-walker": " Jake Odorizzi started the game and pitched seven scoreless innings, but with four walks and six strikeouts, it's clear he wasn't at his best."

4. So "lizzieray" comments: " Seems to me that walks speak to a pitcher’s skill as much (at times more?) than hits, so why all the love only for the no hitter? In terms of the fan experience, walks can be deadly; surely baseball has an interest in supporting pitchers who can keep the game moving. So I’d like to see more respect for the “no-walker!”

5. "His fastball command is still a work in progress and his secondary pitches have never been really strikeout offerings, but now he has as much time as he needs to rectify those issues and become the best pitcher he can possibly be... Odorizzi isn’t a potential ace for the Rays and he will probably slot in best as a mid-rotation starter. But doesn’t mean that Odorizzi can’t be an impact pitcher in the major leagues as soon as later this season, and even amidst all the Rays’ impressive pitchers, he deserves recognition." - Robbie Knopf, Rays Colored Glasses

6. Odorizzi answers six questions about fielding his position. "You just have to be comfortable and not freak out when the ball is hit back to you and step make a throw." 

7. "Jake Odorizzi was the 32nd overall draft choice by the Milwaukee Brewers in the 2008 draft. Very early in his career he drew some comparisons to Zack Greinke, due to his high school pitching numbers, his athleticism, and the fact that he may have been a decent prospect as a shortstop as well. Just a couple years later, Odorizzi would find himself heading to Kansas City in a trade that would send Zack Greinke to Milwaukee." - Damion Mandalas, Royal Revival.

8. Damn, this headline just draws you right in! "Re-evaluating the Zack Greinke trades for the Brewers and Royals".

9. Odorizzi likes his special soda.

TONIGHT. Gwinnett Braves. Rubby De La Rosa v Omar Poveda. WHO?! Omar Poveda, look it up.

5.4.13 Durham 4, Pawtucket 1

Terry Doyle was the losing pitcher for this game. JD Martin got the win.

The Durham Bulls scored three runs in the first inning, then everyone had to wait until the ninth inning for their fourth run.

Brandon Snyder hit a solo home run in the second inning.

See you tomorrow.

5.3.2013 How does Allen Webster define a strikeout?

4-1 Pawtucket and I didn't go to the game today.

Allen Webster started for Pawtucket, threw 94 pitches, got nine strikeouts, dropped the mike and hit the showers. Alex Colome started for the Tampa Bulls, pitched four innings, got the loss.

Ryan Lavarnway hit a home run. I'm having a significant emotional reaction to this. I would ride on the back of his motorcycle down the Merritt Parkway, is what I'm saying. Not in a Hollywood romantic sunset way, just two human beings who love baseball enjoying the great New England outdoors and maybe getting a little high by the lakeshore.

Will Inman pitched for three innings, but he's on another team now so... I don't know, I have no further information on that guy.

Neither Bryce Brentz nor Jose Iglesias got a hit. Justin Henry walked three times, one floor below me he don't even know me.

Jose De La Torre and Anthony Carter provided stellar relief and stapled down a win for the PawSox.

two things:
1. Eric Benevides has a more thorough game story.

2. And now everyone wants to kill Felix Doubront and call up Webster. Oh, okay. This is what happens every single time the Boston starter has a bad game and someone in Pawtucket has a great game.

3. Headlines: "How Long Before Allen Webster Joins the Rotation?"

4. "We're talking, of course, about the weak link in the Red Sox rotation, Felix Doubront, and his inevitable replacement, Allen Webster."

5. "What they could do is up in the air, although expect chatter to have Allen Webster replace him in the rotation only to increase."

6. "As Felix Doubront Falters, Allen Webster Dominates"

7. " Last night Webster threw six dominant innings of two-hit ball, striking out nine batters and walking none as the PawSox beat Durham 4-1. Webster has shown he's ready to help the big club if and when he's needed." OH MY GOD, SHUT UP ABOUT... Oh, never mind, this is a perfectly reasoned and rational statement. Carry on, Red Sox Life.

8. "The Herald's John Tomase sees a pretty simple solution: Replace Doubront in the rotation with rookie Allen Webster, whom he declares the “inevitable replacement..."

9. "It’s too early to give up on a promising 25 year old lefty, but if his struggles continue and Allen Webster (who, perhaps not coincidentally pitches on the same day as Doubront in AAA) keeps dominating AAA, they might not have a choice but to make the move."

10. Check out PawSox Blog. It contains information, facts.

Tonight! A celebration! Tomorrow! Today's Terry Doyle game! And then! Pawtucket hits the road, goes to Georgia. I have been there twice. Do you want to hear about it?

May 2nd, 2013 - Durham Bulls Visit McCoy Stadium

Good morning! Pawtucket defeated the Durham Bulls (TB) last night 10-1. I'm sure you're wondering what happened. I am here to take you through that journey, and also to take myself through that same journey because I haven't read about it yet.

You all know Alfredo Aceves, right? Teddy bear? Aceves is in Pawtucket, which I am sure he is thrilled about. He started last night's game and it was baby stuff for him, as he pitched six scoreless innings and struck out six. Aceves did give up a couple of hits, but none for extra bases. Thanks, Ace.

And you all know Alex Torres, right? Easy going? Prospecty Venezuelan lefty, kind of needs to prove himself this year? Torres started for Durham, pitched five mediocre innings and gave up four runs, three earned. Jackie Bradley Jr got a couple of hits off him. The real crapfest started when reliever Jim Paduch came in and the PawSox used him as a chew toy.

The game was moving along at a decent clip until the bottom of the third, when the Red Sox started scoring. Shortstop Brock Holt (not "Holtz") walked with one out. Bradley followed that with a single, and then Mark Hamilton came in to pinch hit for Drew Sutton. Who knows why? Hamilton grounded into a force out, eliminating Bradley. Catcher Ryan Lavarnway entered, singled, Holt scored. But the real money shot was Bryce Brentz' line drive double to left that scored two runs. I wonder how much he benches?

Bradley led off the fifth inning with a single, and then made it to third on a wild pitch and a passed ball. Bradley scored on a sac fly, making it 4-0 Pawtucket.

Bottom of the sixth, Jim Paduch makes an appearance. Paduch struck out Bryce Brentz, but Brandon Snyder got him for a good double. Left fielder Jeremy Hazelbaker followed with a single and then stole second base. And then Snyder and Hazelbaker scored when little Brock Holt hit a line drive single to right. 6-0 Pawtucket.

Hey, didn't the Durham Bulls score a run? Yes, in the eighth inning. Chris Hernandez was pitching in relief, which is unusual but I think it's fair to say he needs to work some stuff out. Catcher Chris Gimenez hit an RBI single. It wasn't that exciting. Even Mrs. Giminez was all, IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?

Bottom of the eighth. Brandon Snyder leads off, gets a base on balls. Hazelbaker and Jonathan Diaz ht back-to-back singles, scoring Snyder. Hazelbaker then scored on a single by Brock Eckstein. And then Bradely Jr walked to load the bases afresh. Paduch got Hamilton out, but that was the final batter he would face. Lefty chunkster Adam Liberatore stepped into the game, gave up an RBI single to Justin Henry and then Lavarnway hit a sac fly, but Liberatore struck out Bryce Brentz to end the inning. Who strikes out more than Brentz? Hazelbaker only.

Chris Hernandez went on to pitch the ninth inning. He gave up a single but everyone else grounded out. Paz afuera.

two things:
1. Brock Holt had himself a time, with three RBI for the night. Everybody on the PawSox got a hit, except Sutton/Hamilton.

2. Obviously, if you want a more intelligent, nuanced look at the Durham Bulls, you must read Watching Durham Bulls Baseball: "What isn’t guesswork is that the last four games [Paduch's] appeared in the Bulls have lost. That implies that (1) his luck is really awful or (2) he’s going into games that the management thinks are marginal." So yes, you should definitely worry about Jim Paduch.

3. Also: "Paduch looks to have fallen into the “veteran AAA relief pitcher” category for the rest of his days.  While a string of good outings may lead to a promotion to the big club, don’t expect him to stay up there too long.  His career 4.58 ERA and 6.6 K/9 is really nothing to write home about.  As a 30 year old pitcher who has experienced some wear and tear, his career, unfortunately, is on it’s decline." - from wlbbjps (?)

4. Drew Sutton had some oblique thing, is why he left the game. Here's to a speedy return to the lineup, because suddenly I appreciate his contributions.

5. “Hopefully God will keep us alive to see another game,” said Aceves when asked to look ahead to his next start. OMG TERRORIST SLEEPER CELL HOLY WAR. (Pawtucket newspaper)

6. "But now, 20 years later, the stadium is a movie star who has aged quickly and is in want of expensive cosmetic surgery. The original debt, with refinancings, was paid off last October. But DBAP is no longer a new ballpark and, after more recent borrowing, it's far from debt-free. It's the sixth-oldest in the 14-team International League, and 12th-oldest of the 30 U.S.-based Triple-A teams. The new lease will see the team to the cusp of the stadium's 40th birthday." - David Fellerath, Indy Week. You should read it!

7. Craig Breslow also pitched. It wasn't bad.

TONIGHT! It's Allen Webster v Alex Colome. Could be good. You should go, because it's the Bulls and it's only once a year.

4.29.13 Pawtucket v Columbus - Mil de Iglesias

Cor, DM! Pawtucket wins 5-1, even though Toru Murata seemed to be giving the PawSox the business for the first few innings. Oscar Villareal and his sick dance moves get the win.

Steven Wright started for Pawtucket and was all over the place for the first couple of innings. Typical knuckleball stuff: Walks and wild pitches and passed balls. A double play really saved Wright's ass in the second inning. Wright pitched four innings, but he was up to 84 pitches and so Oscar Villareal swept in and became the hero.

Trevor Bauer was supposed to start for the Clippers, but something happened and instead we got Toru Murata. Murata pitched six innings and gave up four runs, including three home runs. Of course, I missed a couple of them when I went to get beers. But I did see Iglesias' home run, which was great. There was the added bonus of seeing Iglesias flex his muscles as he crossed the plate, which I think his teammates dared him to do.

Bryce Brentz and Brandon Snyder hit back-to-back home runs in the fourth inning, then Snyder homered again in the eighth. Pedro Beato pitched after Villareal, was pretty badass. Anthony Carter pitched the ninth and gave up a double, but ultimately kept Columbus scoreless.

No sign of Hanrahan or Breslow, but that's fine. They were holding the team back, anyway.

two things:
1. Mark Hamilton struck out three times. Ronald Bermudez hasn't gotten a hit yet in triple-A.

2. Just found out that Jon Hee retired. Crazy! I saw him last night in the dugout, saw he was on the "disabled" "list", and now this. I bowled with Jon Hee, he seemed reasonably nice even if he was no Handsome Randy Williams.

I guess that's all. I'm not going to Buffalo this year, unless I win millions of dollars. That's an entirely different story, though.

Rubby De La Rosa pitching right now for Pawtucket, so go check that out while I comb my hair.

4.28.13 Pawtucket v Columbus - Junk Drawer

Clippers flip it and reverse it, win 6-5 like Pawtucket won 6-5 yesterday. Only with far less explosives.

Terry Doyle had a rough start, giving up five runs in 3 1/3 innings. And then he had five (count 'em!) relievers tumbling after, and no one else gave up a run except Craig Breslow, who doesn't count.

Daisuke Matsuzaka started for Columbus and he did really well... In Triple-A... for the Cleveland Indians franchise. I'm sure he's crying into his millions. Why is he even bothering? He pitched three scoreless innings. So Matsuzaka's like some minor league pitcher now riding on buses and hanging out with, like, Omir Santos.I should go talk to him.

So midway through the fourth inning, Doyle's brother was obviously not on top of things and giving up all kinds of hits and falling behind. Jose De La Torre took over and gave up another run that was charged to Doyle. And then Craig Breslow, Anthony Carter, Joel Hanrahan, and Ryan Rowland-Smith all pitched and I think Manny Delcarmen was there for a little while and then we went over to Jerry's house and everybody did a little acid. We watched him kill one of his wives and we didn't care because we were so high.

In the seventh inning, Mark Hamilton, Bryce Brentz, and Dan Butler hit consecutive home runs. And then in the eighth inning, Pawtucket was like catching up and two runners were on base with only one out, but Brentz and Butler couldn't make magic happen. Columbus reliever Preston Guilmet closed up shop in the ninth, getting the side in order. Ronald Bermudez made the last out. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Ronald Bermudez is still hanging around. I think he lives in a cabin near Presque Isle. You should see his wilderness beard.

two things:
1. I don't know where Jeremy Hazelbaker is, no. I could look it up, but wouldn't that diffuse the mystery?

2. HOLY CRAP PEDRO MARTINEZ WAS AT MCCOY STADIUM?!? No one tells me anything.

3. HERMIDA SPEAKS! "I had played here a little bit before, the wind was blowing out pretty good, I knew that it was going to be close - it's a short fence back there - I jumped up and it fell in there." - On robbing Drew Sutton of a home run. (Gobis) (I think the word you wanted to use was "peek", by the way.)

4. Which is a pretty good story, but it maybe seems to be missing a few things? "Red Sox reliever (shoulder stiffness) threw 17 pitches, walking one of the four batters that he faced in the eighth inning of his one frame of a re-hab assignment. Left-hander (tendinitis) threw 26 pitches over two-thirds of the fifth inning, walking two in his second appearance in two days Breslow and PawSox catcher would be just the second all-Yale battery mates in MLB since 1883. "I'm not quite there yet," said Breslow. "I'm getting close. At this point, psychologically, it's more important to know that my arm can hold up two days in a row." , the PawSox starter, had allowed just 22 base runners and four earned runs in his previous four starts, but walked five and was tagged for eight hits, throwing 90 pitches in 31/3 innings Six-year Red Sox family member was perfect on the pitching mound, retiring all nine PawSox batters he faced in his fifth start for Columbus, before suffering a left oblique muscle strain on his first pitch to in the fourth." Yeah, no need to name names.

5. Justin Henry doubled. So hot right now.

Tonight it's Steven Wright, Trevor Bauer.  I will be there, doing my thing, eating some food and learning about Cuba.

ciaocito!

4.27.13 Pawtucket Red Sox v Columbus Clippers (CLE) - Six Years Ago

Pawtucket WINS! 6-5 and then they blew up some fireworks. Skyrockets. Burn blossoms. Whatever regional term you'd like to use. Win goes to reliever Pedro Beato, who is like so cute and I never realized it.

Starter for the Red Sox was Allen Webster, which is not a very good name for a baseball player. He should have been a research scientist or maybe done some historical re-enactments in Ticonderoga. Webster pitched four innings and gave up four runs and jetted back to the lab.

Joe Martinez got the start for the Columbus Clippers and man he threw a lot of pitches (104)! Martinez worked his way into the seventh inning, got a couple of outs, then hit the road. He struck out seven Red Sox batters, gave up two runs, and then his relief corps failed him. After all that hard work. Nobody said there was justice in sport. Except when Boston defeated the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS.

The Clippers scored three runs in the first inning. Maybe Webster was shaky, he walked a couple of guys right away and then Cord Phelps doubled and Mike McDade hit a two-run single. Hey, I remember those guys! In the bottom of the third, though, Justin Henry hit a two-run double. And while I thought it was curious that Henry was playing the outfield these past couple of days, I just now realized that Mitch Maier hasn't been around. Turns out he's on the DL, and while I didn't find a specific cause, I did discover that Maier is Mormon. Oh, God, Book Two.

Columbus pulled ahead 5-2 when they scored runs in the fourth and fifth inning. In the eighth inning, Mark Hamilton hit a fly ball double to left, scoring the mysterious Drew Sutton. But the ninth inning was when the PawSox gave the crowd a thrill!

Pawtucket was still down 5-3. Righty Matthew August Langwell was pitching for the Clippers. He walked country boy Brock Holt to get things started. Langwell got Butler to fly out, but then walked Jackie Bradley Jr. Drew Sutton entered, singled, scored Holt. Justin Henry entered, singled, scored Bradley. TIE GAME MOTHERFUCKERS! Langwell then walked the bases loaded, had to face Bryce Brentz and all his real ultimate power. Surprise! Brentz flew out.

New pitcher, Jerry Gil. Gil walked Brandon Snyder with the bases loaded, Pawtucket wins, everybody falls in love all over again.

it was a stegosaurus and its name was henry:
1. Craig Breslow came and is rehabbing and he pitched and IS IT 2006/2007? Travis Hughes, Edgar Martinez, and Bryan Corey could not be reached for comment. How long have I been doing this?

2. I had this to say about Breslow: "The first time I saw Craig Breslow was not in San Diego, but in Pawtucket. I thought he was odd-looking - all knobby and flushed and wearing an ill-fitting uniform. Nothing special. I had no idea I'd be seeing so much of him."

3. And here's an embarrassing picture. Nice hat, Jen. Also shown: Michael Scott on his day off.

 

 

4. Justin Henry had three RBI. Bradley struck out three times.

5. Jeremy Hermida used to be on the PawSox. He struck out a lot. I remember nothing about those 19 games in 2010. We got him in exchange for Hunter Jones and some other guy.

This afternoon! Or... Right now! Terry Doyle and former PawSox great Daisuke Matsuzaka. I'll be at the game tomorrow, which is Monday. See you then?

4.26.13 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons - Hanrahanimal

Oscar Villareal LOSES, 8-4, even though the bulk of the destruction was the result of SP Chris Hernandez' pitching. I'm sure it will all get sorted out in heaven.

El Zurdo Hernandez gave up four runs on eight hits through five innings. He threw 96 pitches, 55 for strikes. Sounds exhausting, geez. He also gave up a home run, but who hasn't lately? Besides, Buffalo is SMASHING the IL in like all the offensive categories.

Starter and winning pitcher for Buffalo was Claudio Vargas, a man I am not familiar with but I'm sure I will eventually declare my love for. I have to learn all these Blue Jays people. I will say that he's 34 and been around the block, including a stint with the Expos. Yes. Vargas went six innings, gave up all four Pawtucket runs. He also had great relief. Let's talk to it!

Buffalo got a good jump on the scoring, picking up two runs in the first inning. Pawtucket tied it in the second, which featured doubles from mighty slugger Bryce Brentz and large catcher Dan Butler. A mess o' singles in the third inning put the Red Sox up 4-2, ha ha very funny you guys. Buffalo achieved ramming speed and scored runs in the third, fourth, sixth, seventh, and eighth inning. Joel Hanrahan, former Pirate and current Boston reliever, pitched the eighth inning and gave up two runs and I'm sure you can read all about it anywhere else but here.

I am not familiar with Neil Wagner's work but he struck out the side in order in the ninth inning to keep the Bisons in the win column. Thanks for nothing, Butler, Diaz, and Bradley.

By the way, Jim Negrych is leading the entire IL in slugging, OBP, average, OPS, all that stuff. Jim Negrych! Who know he had it in him? Crazy.

Also, to comment on the "two things" portion of the blog post, I've noticed that more than ever I need to subscribe to on-line newspapers to get game stories and such. I usually prefer to get my information from bloggers anyway, but now I'll be relying on them more than ever. The sad thing is that there aren't many IL bloggers, although there are some team blogs that cover "the minors" in one post. I'm hoping to get some to develop this season. Not likely, though, damn it.

two things:
1. Michael Mroziak: "Once Buffalo got its lead back, the Bisons put the game out of reach with two home runs to right field. The first one, by Luis Jimenez in the bottom of the seventh inning, cleared the right field party patio and left the ballpark. Velez's homer landed in the same party patio, bringing the final two runs home." Party patio! Where can I get one of those?

2. Evidently, Claudio Vargas retired from baseball back in 2011 when he was in the Rockies org.

3. Doug Smith has a great story on Jim Negrych: "Then there’s the matter of his stepping into the box for Syracuse here last summer and half a Section erupting in cheers, provoking Bison catcher Josh Thole to ask, “Who the heck are you, anyway?” Negrych now is “not so sure that actually happened,” and isn’t sure Thole remembers, either."

4. Negrych hit for the cycle a few days ago, and I am just hearing about it now.

5.  Rick Sporcic talks about his time at a Bisons/Red Sox game: "During the 3rd Inning, Bisons CF, Anthony Gose began motioning something to me then yelling something. I had no idea what he was saying so I wandered towards CF and Gose told me he wanted the Big Glove." Cool pictures, too.

6. So remember how Bryce Brentz accidentally shot himself and I thought it was more likely he got into some kind of scuffle OR that alcohol was a factor? Pretty sure he just shot himself.

TONIGHT! Pawtucket's back in Rhode Island and playing the Columbus Clippers who are the Indians. Allen Webster will face Joe Martinez and hopefully destroy him. Enjoy!

4.25.13 The Pawtucket Red Sox Visit The Buffalo Bisons - Be suave, Mauro.

PawSox win, 8-3 in Buffalo. I have such fond memories of my baseball trip to Buffalo, with Mike Lowell rehabbing and Devern Hansack and Kyle Snyder and Niagara Falls and even though I got into trouble in Canada and had to go to Canadian Immigration because I may have been a kidnapper it was still so much fun. I should go back! Who's coming? WHO'S WITH ME?! MIKE LOWELL IS NEVER GOING TO CALL ME!!!

JONATHAN VAN EVERY! GEORGE KOTTARAS!! JEFF BAILEY!! LEFTY JON SWITZER!!

Sorry. Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Charlie Haeger, who improved in all areas of a professional baseball start. Haegs pitched five innings and gave up two home runs... wait. Okay, not such a great start. My father has this goofy, waddling poodle named Charlie who like, if he wants to get up on the couch he has to build up momentum. It takes about three tries. But Charlie is so damn loveable. Do you understand what I am getting at?

Dave Bush started for Buffalo, and yes, it is that Dave Bush. Still kicking around and trying to  make an honest living. I saw him pitch when I went to Milwaukee, which was such a great baseball trip! My favorite big league ballpark, for sure. WAFFLE FRIES WITH CHEESE ON 'EM IN A HELMET.

Bush was the losing pitcher and he gave up five runs in 5 1/3 innings. I need to skip ahead to the offense because my time is restricted. I'm skipping breakfast for this! I can't stop talking!

Let's see, Buffalo was up 3-0 after two innings. Mauro Gomez and Ryan Langerhans each hit solo home runs in the second, which probably thrilled the crowd. Pawtucket scored all their runs in the sixth inning, though, so that probably shut those Buffalonians up good.

Dan Butler led the sixth inning off with a single, but then Jonathan Diaz lined out. So things didn't look too bad. Bush was still pitching, by the way. Diaz was his last out. Jackie Bradley Jr reached on an error, then everyone moved up after a passed ball. And then! Drew Sutton tripled, two runs come in, the cherry trees burst into blossom, the beasts in the sludge of Lake Erie stirred, car alarms went off... Suddenly, the maid screamed...

Next batter was Brandon Snyder. Snyder singled and Bradley scored. Tie game! Bush faced Mark Hamilton and walked him, not intentionally but maybe kinda. I wasn't there. It wasn't "officially" intentional. Bush gets yanked, Mickey Storey jogs out. Hamilton talks to first base ump Brad Myers, maybe a little to Luis Jimenez. Game on! Storey gets Brentz to fly out, but then gives up a three-run homer to Jeremy Hazelbaker. 6-3 Pawtucket! Next up, Jose Iglesias. Iglesias singled and then Dan Butler hit a home run to center, sealing the deal for the Red Sox.I'd like to seal his deal, if you know what I mean!

Jose De La Torre pitched the sixth and seventh inning.

two things:
1. I loved Mauro Gomez on the PawSox. Here's what Buffalo's Luis Jimenez had to say about him: "Sometimes when you come from another team and you see them you want to beat them so bad. You want to be anxious and do some stuff. We told him be suave, be easy, relax at home plate and let the ball drive. ... He’s relaxed right now and letting the ball drive. He’s not doing too much.” Rodney McKissic, Buffalo paper.

Yuck, I have to leave. More Buffalo tonight, Chris Hernandez and Claudio Vargas. Bye!

4.24.13 Makeup Game Between Buffalo and Pawtucket.

Game was played April 25th, my birthday! (maynotactuallybemybirthday)

Buffalo wins, 4-0. Loss goes to Graham Godfrey in game one of this seven inning doubleheader.

Godfrey pitched for 3 1/3 innings and gave up a couple of home runs. WHOOPS! All four runs were charged to Godfrey. Ryan Rowland-Smith and Anthony Carter finished off the game and kept it scoreless. 

Starting pitcher for Buffalo was Ramon Ortiz, so you can kind of see that no one really cared about this game. Ortiz pitched five scoreless innings. Our old friend Bobby Korecky finished the game off, finished the Red Sox off, got Bryce Brentz to ground into a double play.

That's all I got for game one.

 

4.23.13 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons - Mauro Gomez tripled.

Buffalo wins, 5-3. Loss goes to Jeremy Kehrt. Buffalo's Buddy Carlisle gets the win.

I'll be back tomorrow. Sorry! I just haven't been home much lately.

4.20.13 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Rochester Red Wings - But have you ever tried fielding ON POT?

Rochester wins, 5-4 in a game that was balls-cold and a little snowy. Loss goes to reliever Pedro Beato.

Starting P for Pawtucket was Charlie Haeger, who is evidently fully recovered and jumping in for Allen Webster, who was supposed to start but had explosive diarrhea. Or he got called up, I don't know. What am I, Reuters? Haeger struggled through five innings and 87 pitches, giving up two runs in the third inning and a third run in the fifth that tied the game. Haeger made an error in the fifth inning, in between giving up singles and walks.

Lefty Andrew Albers looks like Justin Morneau in his profile picture. And he's Canadian! Albers only pitched two innings, maybe because he gave up three runs and was like walking everybody. In the first inning, Drew Sutton singled with one out. Then Justin Henry singled and Lavarnway walked to load the bases. Albers proceeded to walk Bryce Brentz, so Sutton crossed the plate for the first Pawtucket run. First baseman and legit hitter Brandon Snyder hit a bloop fly ball single to right that scored Henry and Lavarnway. As it was written in the Scriptures. 3-0 Red Sox.

I told you about Strawberry Fields and also how the Red Wings tied the game up? Well, Pawtucket pulled ahead in the sixth inning when Jose Iglesias homered off reliever Shairon Martis. Don't feel too bad for Martis, he got the win. However, Pedro Beato was nabbed for a single in the dumpy lower 1/2, a victim of the classic 1B-HBP-E1-SF maneuver. That's why we lost the game, right there. Bad, bad defense. If it were not true, I would have told you so.

Seventh inning, Gary DiSarcina makes some defensive changes. In triple-A!? Nice, Gary! First baseman Chris Colabello hits a solo home run to put Rochester up for good. You can't really defend against that, unless you are Endy Chavez, Torii Hunter, Scott Rolen, that other guy. Tighten it up, Pawtucket. You need to get your house in order.

pretty sure it's spelled "Matthew"
1. Snyder went 3-4 and even though I... And I mean this in the nicest way possible... It's just that Snyder's got those Southern ways... Never mind, Snyder's a real ballplayer. I'm appreciative of his contributions as a PawSox player.

2. Jackie Bradley Jr is here, JC Linares to Portland.

3. Uh, no thank you. "The gametime temperature was 39 (wind chill 30), with wind gusts in the 20s. There was a brief snow burst before the first pitch and light snow fell in the sixth and seventh innings." - Jim Mandelaro

4. Give it up for Caleb Thielbar, who pitched three scoreless innings after Albers took a hike.

5. What the ever-loving fuck is this crap? "With that in mind, I wanted to share some texts Chris [Colabello] and I have traded since the beginning of the season. I know the whole #process thing can be easy to make fun of, but its really a way of being accountable, keeping your mind right and focusing on things you can control." JOCKS GONNA JOCK.

6. Home run boy Colabello played in the WBC (Italia) and played independent league ball for seven years before 2012. Sota Sports has a good overview on Colabello: "Chris Colabello is a 29-year old 1B/DH who played high school and college baseball in the Boston area. After going undrafted out of Assumption College in Worcester, MA, he continued his playing career in the Independent League, primarily with the Worcester Tornadoes." Get outta here!

7. "Twenty pages of Pope." Thanks for this, Colabello.

Double header today! Did you notice I was absent yesterday? Thank god, I needed to rest. Game one will be Graham Godfrey v PJ Walters, and then Chris Hernandez will hopefully K.I.T. and beat the panties off the lovely, leggy Kyle Gibson. Aw, I really like Gibson!

COLABELLO!!!

4.18.13 Red Sox v IronPigs - And Dr. Benton Was Pissed

Sorry I'm late. I accidentally fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of myself.

Pawtucket sucks, 14-5. Anthony Carter, what happened?

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Rubby De La Rosa, who lost his mind in the second inning. De la Rosa gave up four runs on two hits, but he walked half the IronPigs. Jeremy Kehrt tried to help, and he did okay, pitching four innings and I'll say "Good job, JK", even though I'm not in his fan club. His fan club is called "Common Kehrtousy". Kehrt gave up a run.

Adam Morgan was the Lehigh Valley starter and I know nothing about him. I wanna say he's a lefty... I mean, I attended this game so I should know. Warren... No, Adam Warren is a different pitcher. Morgan pitched five innings and only gave up one run.

Oscar Villareal pitched the seventh and eighth innings and gave up three runs. Anthony Carter totally Britta'd the ninth inning, giving up six g.d. runs, including a home run from Steven Lerud and a grand slam from Cody Asche. Classic Asche!

David Ortiz hit a home run.

And that's all I got.

4.17.13 Pawtucket v Lehigh Valley - Cual es tu vaina, tigre, coñaso! (FC Mero mero)

Pawtucket wins 6-1, coñaso! Win goes to Terry Doyle, who did a great job! 

Doyle pitched seven innings David Pauley-style, minus the recreational drug use. He gave up one run, that being a solo home run by Darin Ruf. Doyle threw 91 pitches, 64 for strikes, and struck out six batters. Of course, I missed all of this.

Starter for the IronPigs was Cesar Jiminez, who was evidently a little less successful. He didn't make five innings, but I'm not even sure if he is a starter anyway. I don't get CC'd on the lineups and such, although the IronPigs did call me and offer me a game package. Makes sense, since I live four and a half hours away.

So nobody scored until halfway through the game. In the fifth inning, Ryan Lavarnway and Brandon Snyder each hit a solo home run and it was 2-0. Ruf's home run came in the seventh to make it 2-1.

Bottom of the seventh, Zach Miner pitching. Ryan Lavarnway led off with a single, and then Miner walked both Bryce Brentz and Mitch Maier to load 'em up for Brandon Snyder. LOL Zach Miner. Snyder's been pretty good so far (TM) for Pawtucket and he did not fail to deliver in this instance, doubling to left field and bringing in a couple of runs. Jeremy Hazelbaker popped out, but then Miner walked Jonathan Diaz to load the bases again and that's what got him replaced.

Justin DeFratus! DeFratus walked Brock Holt, which brought Maier in from third. And then Drew Sutton hit a sac fly, scoring Snyder.

And then David Ortiz got the last out. Shucks!

Jose de La Torre and Chris Carpenter polished off the rest of the game like a fabulous apricot pie. Carpenter's inning wasn't the cutest thing in the world, but better than the last outing. 

if anything, just in case:
1. Brandon Snyder and Drew Sutton both made errors.

2. Mayhap you've never heard of Terry Doyle: "Ten or fifteen years from now, hopefully my baseball career would be over,” he said, “and I’ll join the workforce. I always wanted to get into teaching. Hopefully, I can go help out some kids.” - Robert Baumann

3. Local game stories with Ortiz rehabbing: Four or five paragraphs about his heel/foot, a picture of Ortiz, a few quotes, and then at the tail end, maybe one sentence about the actual game and the pitching. SOME PEOPLE CARE ABOUT THE PAWSOX.

4. " Doyle allowed one run on two hits while walking one and striking out five over five innings of work on Saturday. His walk and his surrendered run both materialized in the first inning, but then the 27-year-old retired 13 of the 14 batters he faced in the subsequent four innings." - Plus more stuff on Doyle from PawSox Blog.

THIS AFTERNOON! Rubby De La Rosa v Adam Morgan. See you there!