Here come the ugly ones.

In about three days, there will be professional baseball in Rhode Island. We need this to distract us from our high unemployment rate and rampant political corruption.

So who is coming back? Hunter Jones? I don't see Hunter Jones on any projected roster, so maybe he fell off a boat somewhere in the Gulf?

First and foremost, we have Lars Anderson and Daniel Nava. This will be the third Pawtucket season for these guys, who usually avoid eye contact with each other. You almost want to feel bad for them, except sometimes you have saltines and a popsicle for supper so empathy's a real struggle. At least they eat swordfish sometimes and don't have to be roofers in the summer.

Big, big stars and name players Ryan Lavarnway, Jose Iglesias and Will Middlebrooks will be in town. They dress like mallrats and have bad taste in music. One of those guys has terrible bouts of insomnia, too. Yeah, save your envy.

Alex Hassan, Tony Thomas, and Nate Spears are back like free-floating anxiety. I'll bet one of them has a strained relationship with their father.

Scott Atchison and Brandon Duckworth are listed as bullpen guys, which I am sure they are thrilled about. Welcome back.

And now for something completely different... International League jetsam! Pedro Ciriaco, Will Inman, Justin Germano, and Mauro Gomez have all visited McCoy Stadium on visiting teams. Enjoy the fresh view of the visitor's dugout. PLEASE SCRAPE YOUR CLEATS.

I have to mention starter Aaron Cook for one reason, and that is Daniel Bard. Bard was in the paper yesterday and he mentioned 'Ace, Doubie, and Cookie'. He is talking about Alfredo Aceves, Felix Doubront, and Aaron Cook, but he inadvertently made them sound like a 50's street gang. You don't wanna tangle with Ace, Doubie, and Cookie... Otherwise, you'll have to drag race for pinks.

Will I see you Wednesday?

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