Exciting News from the AL Central!

Imagine my surprise when I cam across this bombshell: Graham Koonce was signed by the Kansas City Royals to a minor league contract! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Here're the juicy details: Koonce was happily mashing away in the Brewers system last year, batting .256 with 19 home runs in 88 games in AAA Nashville. And ladies: he's a lefty first baseman! Kansas City caught wind of this guy's talents and began salivating over the possibility of beefing up their lineup.

White Sox fans are understandably nervous. Their stunned silence at this acquisition speaks volumes.

Of course, we all remember Graham's contributions while he was in Oakland for 6 games in '03. Who can forget how he went 1-8 with a double? Nice work, big guy! That's the kind of performance we expect to see from a 60th round Detroit Tigers draft pick (1993)!

And picture this: Kaufman Stadium, bases loaded, bottom of the ninth, two outs. 4-1 White Sox. Bobby Jenks trying to nail it down. The unlikely hero Graham Koonce steps up. Steps out. Practice swing. Jenks glares. Koonce back in the box. He digs in. Here's the pitch... BLAMMO! GRAHAM SLAM!

Don't even get me started on Dewon Brazelton.

Thirdly: former Red Sox superstar Jose Cruz Jr is reportedly heading for San Diego. Theo Epstein could not be reached for comment.

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