Feast of Guadalupe

Ron Calloway, tight n' toned fielder and accomplished chef, has been signed by the Phillies to a minor league contract. So if you're going down to Spring Training this year, you may see him on the versus. I'll be there because Ron Calloway is my boyfriend. You didn't know that? Yeah, we're totally going out.

If I were 80's Hollywood, I'd meet my two sisters down in Fort Myers for ST festivities. I'd step off the plane onto the tarmac and lift up my sunglasses to survey my palm-treed surroundings while generic rock music played in the background. "Hot sun! Summer fun! Takin' it easy in the Florida sun!" Cut to Lucky doing same. Cut to Vee in a fur coat.

We'd have underpants pillow fights in the hotel room, drink gimormous margaritas and toast the good times, have studly yet stupid love interests and get hit in the head with foul balls. A montage would be involved as well. And we'd all go home having learned a few things about life and love and ourselves.

This sort of thing goes on all the time on Lifetime. I heard. From a friend. I wouldn't know, they shut my cable off. I've been watching DVD playoff games from 2004.

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