David Ortiz may never go home.

I know that Ortiz is somewhat of a gadabout in the Dominican, but he's been spending an awful lot of time in Boston this off-season. He did mention this in a recent interview, saying, "Come on, man, I'm a Bostonian!"

My friend was at the Roxy and Ortiz was either a)celebrating his birthday or b)celebrating someone else's. No matter how you slice it, DO was being his usual magnificent self. Even though he was in the VIP section, he still talked to the peons below him and gave my friend a ring pop when she went over to say hello.

So if someone asks you, "How do you feel about David Ortiz?" and you don't immediately reply "I love him!", you are either a Yankees fan or you have given your voice to a sea hag so you can walk on dry land and seduce a dim-witted prince.

I love him.